Keith Walendowski has been charged with felony possession of a short-barreled shotgun or rifle and misdemeanor disorderly conduct while armed.
According to the criminal complaint, Walendowski says he was angry because his Lawn Boy wouldn’t start Wednesday morning.
He told police: “I can do that, it’s my lawn mower and my yard so I can shoot it if I want.”
A woman who lives at Walendowski’s house reported the incident. She says he was intoxicated.
This is good news for Hillary.
Damien
Other than the fact that it was a sawed-off and he was inside city limits he’s right, he can shoot his lawnmower if he’s dumb enough to want to. Too bad for him those are pretty big “other thans”.
gil mann
Since we’re all equal before the law, I trust this gent won’t receive a harsher punishment than Cheney.
Tim (The Other One)
Add that mower to Obama’s “Death List”
DFD
If only he had used a legal firearm…
nightjar
Lawnmowers are prone to evil, especially when it’s hot and drunk outside. I bet this one had it comin’.
Incertus
Better to just shoot the grass. It’s the thing that’s growing, after all.
Echo without Bunnies or Men
Wowzers, this is just like the Dead Kennedys song, “A Child and His Lawnmower”, lyrics below
Some clown in Sacramento was dragged into court
He shot his lawnmower
It disobeyed, it wouldn’t start
Might makes right, it’s the American way
They fined him $60 and sent him on his way
You know, some people don’t take no shit
Maybe if they did they’d have half a brain left
jnfr
I love my electric lawn mower. All you have to do is push a button to turn it on – no fuss, no muss, no struggle pulling an uncooperative cord.
The Other Steve
http://www.cleanairgardening.com/brillux38ree.html
Never has a problem starting… just have to sharpen the blade. ;-)
Just Some Fuckhead
It was hot and drunk outside today but I managed to wash my truck without shooting anything.
calipygian
Uh, hey Joe, I heard you shot your mower down,
you shot her down.
Uh, hey Joe, I heard you shot you old mower down,
you shot her down to the ground. Yeah!
Ken
I’ve got electric start on my John Deere JS-30 self-propelled walk-behind. Had it two years, never pulled the rope once. Starts every time.
I don’t have a shotgun (or any gun for that matter), and I gave up the hooch years ago, so if one of these days she doesn’t start, I guess I’ll be shit outta luck.
Just Some Fuckhead
You’ll have to get it shot professionally.
Ripley
Can you imagine the rage and chaos if his shotgun hadn’t performed properly?
in canaduh
Preemptive strike on the lawn boy , he suspected it had WMD’s
zzyzx
I get so overwhelmed by olfactory hues…
ThatLeftTurnInABQ
“Lawn Boy” sounds kinda racist, doesn’t it?
Maybe if he treated his grass cutting appliance with more respect it would start up reliably.
Just sayin’
Tim Fuller
I buy the cheapest mower Walmart sells and throw it away when the frame breaks (always before the briggs and stratton engine fails). Cost about $100 every few years.
This guy is facing more jail time than Bush and the torture brigade! He might do six years for killing a dead lawnboy while treasonous torturers get off scott free. Maybe we should start a pardon movement for this guy to highlight the parody of that situation?
Enjoy.
RSA
On a Wednesday morning. Was it his day off from work at the post office?
BH-Buck
Sign me up!
Dennis - SGMM
No matter how much time this guy does it will still be more than Scooter Libby did for obstruction of justice and making false statements to federal investigators. It will be more time than Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Gonzales, or Rove will ever do.
some guy
The BBC has some additional insight:
Delia
He made it on KO’s Best People last night. The Lawn Boy company won’t fix it. They said he’d voided his warranty.
Just Some Fuckhead
Guns don’t kill mowers, people do.
Just Some Fuckhead
Holy shit, he shot his mower AND ate the warranty? Hard core!
Dennis - SGMM
He shoulda’ bought a Lawn Man.
D-Chance.
Breaking news:
Three teenage girls want to buy bikinis. K-Lo is outraged.
The Forty Year Old Virgin strikes again.
Dennis - SGMM
I can’t understand why K-Lo wastes her time at NRO when she could be making millions curing satyriasis.
maxbaer (not the original)
The Lawnmower Assassin should be entered into the McCain veepstakes. He seems to have a good attitude.
Notorious P.A.T.
I’m sure there’s absolutely nooooo chance whatsoever of him or a person like him getting that mad at another person, losing their cool, and firing their perfectly legal weapon at that person. No, none at all.
DougJ
I’ve *always* said that this election was about the key Lawn-motor-Shooting Dads demographics. The Obama people might want to stage a photo-op where he drops a few nines on a Lawn Boy. It couldn’t hurt. Hilary would do it in hearbeat.
ThatLeftTurnInABQ
Burkhas would solve that problem.
Ditch Digger
Seeing how he shot it with a sawed-off, and it didn’t explode, it probably didn’t start due to a lack of gas.
DougJ
Speaking of nuts, have you seen this stuff from a McCain blogger:
Dennis - SGMM
If bro was already dumb enough to use a sawed-off then he was probably also dumb enough to load it #9 shot. I imagine it scratched the hell out of the paint.
ThatLeftTurnInABQ
CNN Headline News: Crazed angry black man staging deadly assault on iconic symbol of white suburbs, is shot down by local police. Pundits speculate he may have been high on crystal meth.
zuzu's petals
Why yes, it would be entirely appropriate for a middle-aged man to take three 16-year-old girls shopping for bikinis.
Dennis - SGMM
With all due respect to the number of Cheetos that went into that post, since when does falling out of the sky in four different aircraft (One more destroyed on deck) give a person any insight into what the US military is capable of doing?
I’d prefer someone who also knows what the US military is not capable of doing – creating a democracy by massive applications of ordnance comes to mind.
McCain’s military experience, like the rest of his ideas, is decades beyond its expiration date. He has stated that the war in Vietnam was winnable. If that isn’t a tipoff to out of touch he is with the realities of military force then nothing is. Right now he’s planning a photo op on the “Iraq/Pakistan” border where he will shout, “Mr. Ahmadinejad, tear down this wall.” Like all of those missile silos, he’s a relic of the Cold War; empty, useless and out of date.
Digital Amish
Last week I spent a couple of days on a re-model job in a hospital. One of the type built in the fifties and constantly expanded eversince. After going out to the van for tools and spending 20 minutes trying to find my way back through the most convoluted floor plan imaginable any of the architects responsible for that abortion would have been candidates for a ‘Lawn Boy’ moment from me.
Splitting Image
What sort of gun did the factory recommend?
jake
Imagine how much more fucked up this story would be if he were sober.
Bruce Moomaw
Aha! So it IS possible to get murderously angry at machines other than computers. Given my own experiences, I was beginning to wonder.
phobos
The lawn mower wouldn’t listen. How many times have we seen this?
myiq2xu
What a moron. Shooting a lawn mower is a waste of time.
You have to use explosives.
Dennis - SGMM
I blame the Emancipation Proclamation.
The Grand Panjandrum
Jesus! The guy looks like he attends his family reunion hoping to find a wife. He isn’t originally from WV by chance?
tballou
But this is bad news for all Americans:
Maine lawmaker makes phone-spying query
“Now that Congress has given immunity to telecommunications companies that helped the government spy on Americans in suspected terrorism cases, a Maine legislator is asking Verizon anew if it turned over any customer records to the federal government.”
“Adams, a member of the Legislature’s Utilities and Energy Committee, posed similar questions about phone records to an executive for FairPoint Communications earlier this year. FairPoint is taking over Verizon’s landline phone and Internet service in northern New England. While FairPoint said it had not turned over records, it said it could not speak for Verizon.
Adams posed the question anew on July 18, saying that Verizon could answer “under protection of Federal law (and) without fear of lawsuits.”
“A copy was furnished to company spokesman John Bonomo, who said there would be no response.
“We do not comment on matters involving national security,” Bonomo said in an e-mail to The Associated Press.”
http://rawstory.com//news/2008/Maine_lawmaker_makes_phonespying_query_0726.html
dr. bloor
What a mug. If he had been able to start the mower, he’d been getting fitted for prosthetic feet about now.
Corner Stone
JJC says:
God but you are one pathetic fuck. Good luck poon hunting through your family tree.
Glocksman
Heh..
All bullshit aside, most of the problems I’ve seen with lawnmowers have been failures to start due to gummed up carburetors.
Either drain the gas from it and run it dry after mowing season is over or use fuel stabilizer, and you won’t have any problem out of your mower.
I bought a Yard Machines (aka ‘Troy Bilt’) mower from a neighbor for $20, replaced the gummed up carb with a new one for $40, and had a machine that ran as good as new.
Teh moral is: take care of your equipment and it’ll take care of you. :)
w vincentz
Shoot your lawn mower…the “heat” shows up.
Shoot a million plus Iraqis, make another four million run for their lives…Congress give you a pass. Sell the ranch in Crawford, buy a mansion in Dallas, and commute to the real estate holdings (no extradition) in Paraguay.
Fucking lawn mowers!
Just Some Fuckhead
Was him mean to yer sweetums? Awwww.
Dennis - SGMM
Corner Stone Says:
God but I am one pathetic fuck.
Fixed.
JackieBinAZ
That guy is worthy of the Nick Nolte and Glen Campbell mugshot hall of fame.
Chuck Butcher
And this supposed explosion would occur from what cause? I don’t know of any shot gun tracer rounds, you know, flaming bullets which are illegal in private hands. Let us try a little chemistry here, lead causes sparks from hitting steel how exactly? Steel shot hitting steel (or cast iron) causes sparks how? You are proposing that the deformation of the shot created ignition temperature? Does anybody realize that there is an extemely narrow band around 14 parts Air to 1 part Gasoline well mixed that will burn?
Guns and movie magic… Sure, and getting hit by a heavy caliber bullet or shotgun round will throw you through the air – when pigs fly. I shoot a gun with a round that will reliably kill an African elephant and it pushes me (150#) and my 7# rifle back – and that is every bit of force that is available from the bullet, if I were shot with it I would be staggered. There are only a couple rounds that exceed this thing in power, a 50 ca machine gun round fired through a Barret or like, and they have a recoil absorbing barrel/action. For those that actually know something about firearms, mine is a Ruger #1 firing a 500 gr 45-70 Govt at 2,000 fps. and you stop after a couple rounds or start to cry.
Jay
Seeing as how it happened in Wisconsin, I blame Brett Favre for the lawnmower shooting.
mary lou register
what does ‘this good for hillary” mean?mlr
mary lou register
SO I CAN SEE YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR FROM US WHOM CAN EXPRESS WHAT WE THINK WITHOUT USING VULAGAR LANGUAGE. OK I KNOW HOW TO DO THAT BUT REMEMBER WHEN WE LOSE DIGNITY WE LOSE EVERYTHING—IF YOU THINK i’M WRONG SOOK AROUND YOU AND LOOK AT TV-YOU WILL LEARN A LOT SHORTLY LADYBUG
maxbaer (not the original)
I think he may have taken gun safety from Red Green.
ChristianPinko
“Good Luck Poon Hunting” — is that the porno version of “Good Will Hunting”? Could someone help me out here?
And John, it is not good news for Hillary. It’s good news for McCain. Keep up to speed on your talking points, man.
Corner Stone
That’s kind of the point. JJC just can’t help his fucking pure-bred Republican self. He has to hate on Hill just because he has no other choice.
Not really sure at this point why he’d put the tagline on there except to emphasize he’s sick and needs help.
Corner Stone
JSF says:
Yes. I want you to love her like I love her. Feel the love Fuckhead!
Corner Stone
Oh Dennis SGMM – what’s really fucking sad here is that you don’t even have the intellectual originality of “Conservatively Liberal”. And that’s the bottom of the absolute fucking barrel. What a sad, sad little fuck you must be in RL.
nightjar
Geez Corner Stone, your cute as a button when having your hissy fits. Don’t worry, the swelling will go down when Obama’s president.
Bey
He acted in the fine tradition of Edward Abbey who, in a rage, hauled his television to his back yard and shot it.
Read The Monkey Wrench Gang, or better yet — Desert Solitaire: A Season In The Wilderness
Corner Stone
pissjar –
You tell me, what other reason could there be for JJC to put up the HRC tagline except to show clearly and proudly that he hates her and simply can’t help himself?
She’s done everything the whole D party has demanded of her short of ritual seppuku. What more could you fucks demand from the “monster” that is HRC?
Plus, I lurv the “sweetums” and “cute as a button” language. Real strong and machismo there tough guys.
Bey
Oh for crying out loud, take a pill or something.
“This is good news!…..For Hillary!” as a non-sequiter response is a long standing joke around here.
A.Political
Your truck wasn’t looking for trouble.
nightjar
Like Bey says, Cole didn’t create the tagline, it comes from a Hilbot troll a while back with a sense of humor who would post it here several times in a thread. I’m just guessing that Cole uses it to get a rise out of folks like you CS. Works like a charm every time.
The broader question is why you fall for it only to get mocked by us. Nobody here cares much about Hillary one way or the other, especially now that she’s back in the Senate where she belongs.
Corner Stone
I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker.
nightjar
LOL, now your getting the hang of it.