Ted Stevens indicted.
Schadenfreude overdoses expected all over the left-wing blogosphere. Possible antidotes include earnest discussions about how truly fucked we all are because of these guys.
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Come for the politics, stay for the snark.
No one could have predicted…
The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.
Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?
My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.
White supremacy is terrorism.
They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!
It’s time for the GOP to dust off that post-2012 autopsy, completely ignore it, and light the party on fire again.
New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.
When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.
JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?
Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.
Happy indictment week to all who celebrate!
Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.
Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.
But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.
“I never thought they’d lock HIM up,” sobbed a distraught member of the Lock Her Up Party.
A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.
It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.
“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”
I didn’t have alien invasion on my 2023 BINGO card.
Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?
Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.
Tick tock motherfuckers!
Only Democrats have agency, apparently.
Zifnab
/me explodes with glee
Where’s your Incredible Hulk tie now, eh? Bitch?
Tom65
I loves me some Schadenfreude….mmm-MMM!
JR
*Inserts obligatory “down the tubes” joke*
liberal
John Cole wrote,
Why do we need an antidote?
The emotion is harmful only insofar as it leads us to rest on our laurels, rather than regarding this as a victory but a very minor one for justice.
Dennis - SGMM
Bwahahaha! Also under indictment for bribery and conspiracy charges is AK state Senator John Cowdery. Alaska’s Republican Governor, Sarah Palin, is being investigated for the revenge dismissal of Public Safety Commissioner Walt Monegan. Palin is suspected of dismissing Monegan because he refused to fire an Alaska state trooper who was in a rough divorce with Palin’s sister.
DougJ
That Hulk tie’s going to make him a big hit with the other inmates.
The Moar You Know
I just came. Gotta go clean up now.
Random Asshole
I’m sure Tom DeLay can recommend a good lawyer.
TR
I hope he screams “NO!” over and over again on the perp walk.
TheFountainHead
You know…since most things John blogs about cause me to hit the bottle, I think I’ll stay sober and go to the gym tonight in celebration!
b. hussein canuckistani
Maybe he can build a $400 million bridge our of prison.
El Cid
This is more sad evidence of the tragedy of Monica Goodling’s interrupted program to improve the Justice Department.
Tsulagi
The tubes weep.
Joshua Norton
So who wants to bet me that Fox will “accidentally” put a (D) next to his name?
Paul L.
I thought that the “Corrupt” Bush administration DOJ only selectively prosecuted Democratic political figures.
Maybe Ted Stevens can use the Don Siegelman defense and blame it on Karl Rove.
El Cid
A Bridge To Somewhere?
nightjar
Yes, we are fucked, but House Gooper’s are about to set the public right on who’s to blame.
The young wingnut guns in the House have new brilliant idea. Let’s smear our colleagues so America will love us. Same game, different fools.
Dennis - SGMM
Bushco: “Aw, jeez, we gotta type up another pardon.”
Bush; “Senator Stevens has suffered enough.”
SamFromUtah
I wonder if he’ll be sent to prison in a truck or walk there through a series of tubes? I’m not up on this modern technology.
cleek
Schadenfreude ist die schönste Freude.
dslak
Gewinn!
Joshua Norton
Yes, let’s all patronize wingnuttia’s need to divert attention from yet ANOTHER corrupt Republican member of Congress, and acknowledge that Democrats can be bad too.
It’s just that with Democrats, it ends up being more of an individual failing, whereas the Republicans make corruption and graft a plank in the party platform.
greynoldsct00
Let’s just hope they drag it out long enough that Bushie is out of office before convict Stevens arrogant ass.
RSA
My Schadenfreudebecher runneth over.
greynoldsct00
…before ‘they’ convict… Sorry. I’m so excited I can barely type
nightjar
My all time favorite Ted Stevens wigging out over ANWAR on Senate Floor.
rob!
the GOP are falling like bowling pins. McCain has a snowball’s chance in Hell of winning.
there’s a Ted Stevens/Alaska joke in there somewhere, i’m too busy jumping up and down in abject glee to find it.
TR
I love that Cantor is a rising Republican leader. He’s a mouthbreathing moron who oozes with a sleazy, fake-smile used-car-salesman vibe, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he winds up going the Craig-Foley route.
Please, please, please, GOP, listen to this man and follow his lead. Right off a fucking cliff.
Dennis - SGMM
Does this mean that Stevens is off of McCain’s short list for VP?
Joshua Norton
Probably not.
the whacker
Another Rethuglican corruption indictment? I’m shocked, SHOCKED! This is not the party Agnew, er, I knew.
Incertus
I just hope Stevens stays in the race for his Senate seat and doesn’t decide to pull out. Begich has a lot better shot against him than he does against Stevens’s opponent, according to the GOS.
BH-Buck
Yes, and hopefully put right onto Guido’s short list of preferred prison bitch.
Dennis - SGMM
You’re just a nattering nabob of negativism.
John Cole
They don’t really need to smear. They can point across the aisle at the corrupt SOB from Louisiana, William Jefferson, and then point to the fact that he is supporting Obama.
Gus
I wish I was that optimistic. Americans are awfully stupid. Apparently the “we must drill our way to energy independence” line is working.
The Other Steve
How is it Jefferson hasn’t gone to trial yet?
leo
Leave him aloooooooooone!
(Sorry, I couldn’t resist.)
AkaDad
Stevens is a man of integrity who made 7 honest mistakes. You should put up a thing so we can donate to his legal defense fund.
BH-Buck
They can point all they like. There is a clear difference: Democrats voted to strip Jefferson of his committee assignment. Republicans won’t bring themselves to do the same.
nightjar
And they are, as fast as they can. But Jefferson is a obscure and little known Congressman from La., and he’s the only they can point to.
Stevens was, until Jan. 2007, the President pro tempore of the Senate and 3rd in line to the presidency.
TenguPhule
They did.
But sometimes if you fuck up big enough, not even being a Republican can save you.
Dream big Paul L, you too can be another Ted Stevens. Just without the money.
David Hunt
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there doesn’t have to be a conviction in place for a pardon to be granted. Nixon, for instance, was preemptively pardoned by Ford for anything any everything that he did or might have done during his entire Presidency, effectively ending any possibility of prosecution. On the almost bright side, the Presidential pardon power does not extend to state crimes, only federal ones. So if Bush pardoned him for what the DOJ is indicting him for, the DOJ might be able to turn over their info to the State of Alaska for them to use in a possible indictment. Then he’d be dependent on an apparently corrupt GOP Alaska Governor as opposed to a corrupt GOP POTUS.
Heshe
Brand Republican takes another hit. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha…
BH-Buck
Be nice!
How do you know Paul L. isn’t already another Ted Stevens already? Don’t you think it’s kinda insulting to poor Paul to make him out as being an underachiever or something? There’s a good chance he’s cheated or ripped off nearly everyone on his block… and that’s from still living in his mom’s basement!
Tsulagi
Yeah, fuck ‘em till the end.
I’m hoping for comedy. The Tubes/Bridges to Nowhere Man going the Senator WideStance route standing in front of cameras ranting that he is not gay a crook. Never give up, Tubes!
Face
I cant read all the above responses, so let me be at least the 13th person to say:
BUSH WILL PARDON HIS ASS. BOOK IT.
jake
I think that should be “Schadenteube.”
Wow. I can see the headline: “Alaskan GOP leadership replaced by moose, polar bears.”
RSA
Here’s something interesting, from Fox News, of all places. I was thinking, “Yeah, yeah, another corrupt Republican indicted,” but the link gives a list of all Senators indicted while still in office, over the entire history of the U.S. Stevens is the eleventh.
cleek
get ready to hear a lot about Edwards
Dennis - SGMM
OT: Woo-hoo! Just did some landsurfing as a magnitude 5.8 quake went off 17 miles from here. Some stuff fell off of the bookshelves but nothing more. Glad that I tied everything tall to the walls.
J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford
Needless to say, this is excellent news for Hillary!
David Hunt
Dennis,
Glad to hear that you emerged unharmed and best hopes for anyone else in the LA (I think) area.
Not Ted Stevens...
No….how dare they indict me…how dare they…I’m an elected official of the territory of Alaska, hell the next thing you know they’ll be given those pineapple-eating Hawaiian’s the vote…they did…damn those clever Macadamia-nut-chomping fiends…NO! Well there’s only one thing that Ted Stevens…err..Rod Barkington knows how to do, and that’s swindle Indians…I’m off to ride the tubes to Tuscaloosa…
Ted Stevens awayyyyy…..
=Emporer Ted Stevens=
“Jail is definitely not some sort of Big Truck”
Dennis - SGMM
Thank you! The quake was about 29 miles east of LA. It was to the south of us. We’re close enough to feel the low-frequency rumbles of the aftershocks.
Dreggas
Rock N Rolled in that Earthquake for a good 10-12 seconds. And I am here in Orange County.
Dreggas
fortunately nothing fell down here but boy was it shaking
liberal
Face wrote,
No way. Too brazen even for Bush.
David Hunt
I would have said that before he commuted Libby’s sentence.
Don’t you think that Stevens is a good man trying to do good works and has suffered enough.
/bush
Grand Moff Texan
No way. Too brazen even for Bush.
Need I remind you: Christmas, 1992.
Bush Sr.
.
RSA
Holy crap, California guys! Hope all is well.
Gus
One think I will give Bush is he has world-class chutzpah. If I was a gamblin’ man, I’d lay 10-1 on a pardon.
Dennis - SGMM
OT:Earthquake update:
My dear wife, who works at CSU Fullerton, is on her way home because they evacuated the university. She told me that there was enough damage that they decided to evacuate.
w vincentz
Good to hear that the BJers in CA rode the waves safely.
I wonder which Bible thumper will say that this is God’s way of expressing displeasure for California allowing “gay marriage” and legalizing medicinal pot.
Wildfires, mudslides, quakes…oh my!
California must REPENT!
Dreggas
wow CSUF was damaged? Then again they were closer to where it hit.
There’s a 5% chance that this was a foreshock, I guess I am a sick fuck for, in some ways, hoping it is.
Z
We the GOP, party of moral values and integrity, will always ask members of the administration, senators, and congressman to step down if they:
Have the appearance of unethical behaviorAre credibly accused of unethical behaviorAre proven to engage in unethical behavior
Are credibly accused of criminal behaviorAre indicted for criminal behaviorAre convicted on criminal behavior and on their way to prison.
Perry Como
I can’t believe the DoJ is criminalizing politics like this.
Punchy
Foreshock? Is this like geological foreplay?
phobos
I was watching Fox for a few minutes, and Cavuto said something like “perhaps not felt in Germany” on his lead-in to their quake coverage.
WTF?
Tsulagi
It’s all you hate-speech spewing CA liberal atheists that caused God to pull the trigger. While maybe not entirely directly responsible, you have to admit you’re at least a factor. (j/k, see earlier post today)
Well, at least you still have a tubes connection. If you’d like some comedy to lighten the mood, take in the latest official RNC salvo on Obama. Lamest. Attack ad. Ever. Think even the short bus riders at Conservapaedia would laugh at this one. Where are the wolves? I miss them.
Dreggas
yeah kinda like “like that eh? HARDER!”
Dreggas
I for one am proud to live in a state that draws the wrath of dog.
liberal
Gus wrote,
I agree with the overall point, but there are decreasing returns here: the political harm of making such a pardon.
I’d lay at least 2:1 odds against.
w vincentz
Whew, sigh of relief for the CA folks.
Here in NY the “low-frequency rumbles” are frequently followed my massive farts (sometimes wet, sometimes not).
Air pollution is self-inflicted. Care must be taken to only drink quality beer and sausages (brats too) only made from the youngest goats (kiddies).
Opens window.
Tax Analyst
WOW! Evacuated the campus, eh? Here in Santa Fe Springs (I think it’s about 20 miles from the Chino Hills Epicenter) it shook our building pretty good…no damage…we all went outside for about 10 or 15 minutes just as a precautionary measure. No one hurt, we had a few kids here who came to work with their parents (we have some entertainment diversions to keep them occupied in the lunch and warehouse areas) and they were a little scared, especially at the start. All is well now, however.
gypsy howell
Politcal harm for who? Bush?
Like he gives a rat’s ass.
Brachiator
Oh yes. When it’s really good, you can have a foreshock, the main shock, and lots of little aftershocks.
And today’s quake even sounds sexy:
Fortunately, while there was considerable rolling motion for what seemed like a long time (15 seconds or more), no one was seriously hurt and damage appears to be minimal throughout the area where the quake occurred.
khead
Does this mean that southern WV can have the “bridge to nowhere” money? Seems like it would qualify based on the description alone.
Darkness
USGS realtime earthquake maps
It’s like a reverse jumpshot that somehow lands in your own net instead of your opponent’s. For example, the sucky production quality… I think they are trying to imply that team!obama would put out sucky quality, but I’m having to guess that. I think whoever did this is too smart for their own good and thinks the referential gibes will work a la SNL fake ad.
Krista
You’re the only one I know who would get his jollies from an earthquake. :)
DougJ
Don’t forget they’re both black, so they’re probably friends. They probably drink forties and play dominoes together on the steps of the Capitol building.
Emma Anne
That’s Moar than I wanted to Know
Dreggas
what can i say the adrenaline rush was nice.
Xenos
FWIW, which may not be much, this has never been tested in court. It may well be that the USSC would not support the theory that pardons can be given even where there is no indictment, much less conviction.
I suppose that the Roberts court would go with whatever benefitted the Republicans, but if they have to give such broad pardon power to President Obama, then they might balk.
Mike D.
Ooh, ooh, but President Jack Ryan pardoned shadowy sp00k assassin John Clark for killing many, many people all over the world over the course of twenty years, including (by implication) the junk pusher who re-addicted John’s cleaned-up girlfriend, by, dig it: locking him in a coffin-sized Navy hyperbaric chamber and repeatedly pressurizing and depressurizing him at non-regulation speeds until all his joints popped like pine knots in a fire and he drowned on blood from his burst larynx.
I respectfully submit that 24, O’Brien’s rack from 1984, and non-fatal waterboarding are, frankly, for pussies who lack the guts for serious unconventional interrogation. Hook a guy on heroin and let him go cold turkey in a Plexiglas casket for several days, no sleep, an air compressor constantly humming beside him, going from 1 atm to 50 meters deep in thirty seconds and then rocketing back to surface pressure in another thirty if you give known-bad info or make personal remarks in an unwise attempt at bravado: that’s some sick shit. The Khmer Rouge would blow chunks at the thought of it.
Okay, yeah, that’s all Tom Clancy stuff, but the point stands. Anyone who thinks the “Osama bin Laden” character (i.e. the series’ writing and production staff) doesn’t have Clancy highlighted and cross-indexed the way Escobar knew Scarface and The Godfather backwards and forwards is missing out on a huge piece of the puzzle.