Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Prediction: the GOP will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

He really is that stupid.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Ah, the different things are different argument.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

I didn’t have alien invasion on my 2023 BINGO card.

Happy indictment week to all who celebrate!

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

The revolution will be supervised.

When do the post office & the dmv weigh in on the wuhan virus?

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

You are here: Home / Past Elections / Election 2008 / The Voices In Jake Tapper’s Head

The Voices In Jake Tapper’s Head

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You heard:

“John McCain right now, he’s spending an awful lot of time talking about me,” Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., said today in Rolla, Mo. “You notice that? I haven’t seen an ad yet where he talks about what he’s gonna do. And the reason is because those folks know they don’t have any good answers, they know they’ve had their turn over the last eight years and made a mess of things. They know that you’re not real happy with them.”

Obama continued: “And so the only way they figure they’re going to win this election is if they make you scared of me. So what they’re saying is, ‘Well, we know we’re not very good but you can’t risk electing Obama. You know, he’s new, he’s… doesn’t look like the other presidents on the currency, you know, he’s got a, he’s got a funny name.’

“I mean, that’s basically the argument — he’s too risky,” Obama said, per ABC News’ Sunlen Miller. “But think about it, what’s the bigger risk? Us deciding that we’re going to come together to bring about real change in America or continuing to do same things with the same folks in the same ways that we know have not worked? I mean, are we really going to do the same stuff that we’ve been doing over the last eight years? … That’s a risk we cannot afford. The stakes are too high.”

Jake Tapper heard:

Correct me if I’m wrong, but does it not seem as if Obama just said McCain and his campaign — presumably the “they” in this construct — are saying that Obama shouldn’t be elected because he’s a risk because he’s black and has a foreign-sounding name?

The title of his post is “Did Obama Accuse McCain of Running a Racist, Xenophobic Campaign?” He then goes on at length to extol the virtues of John McCain, who does not have a racist bone in his body, we learn. The piece would have been embarrassing for the stupidity alone, but the shameless boot-licking really put it over the top.

For his excellent work, Jake Tapper is the first ever winner of the new Balloon Juice award for shameless media fluffing of John McCain, The Golden McPenis. Congratulations, Jake. The award is below the fold as it is NSFWish.


Now if someone could just do some engraving- “Golden McPenis Award For Excellence” sounds good.

Reader Interactions

74Comments

  1. 1.

    Zifnab

    You should probably order those in bulk, John. I’m betting we’re going to see a lot more winners before November.

  4. 4.

    Robert Johnston

    Shouldn’t the Golden McPenis trophy also have a nice red lipstick ring around it?

  7. 7.

    Dork

    I’m betting we’re going to see a lot more winners weiners (whiners?) before November.

    Fixed!

  8. 8.

    ThymeZone

    Those same leaders who were in the streets in the ’60s are very powerful today in their work to bring down the Iraq war and to attack our president, and they have found their way into our schools.

    Wow, it’s 1971 again in America.

    I knew Voigt was a strange duck, but I had no idea he was that fucked up.

    Soemwhere around 2/3of Americans think Iraq was a bad idea, and now we know why: Those “leaders who were in the streets in the ’60’s are very powerful today.”

    The real crazy here is that a newspaper would print this insane shit.

  9. 9.

    DannyNoonan

    To: John Cole
    From: Mark Halperin
    Subject: WTF?

    You know I love Big Daddy McCain more than anyone else in the press. This is bullshit.

    MH

  10. 10.

    Svensker

    Voigt was on Fox this morning for about a 1/2 hour, talking about how horrible Obama is.

    Wasn’t Voigt in Coming Home? When did he become a fascist?

  11. 11.

    Cathy D

    How about Small McPrick award for those who engage in indirect McCain fluffing?

    I nominate Dana Milbank.

  12. 12.

    Elroy's Lunch

    Gonna need some of those graphic skills otherwise my already surreptitious and addictive reading of BJ while at work is really gonna get me fired.

    On the other hand, maybe that’s one of those “subliminal messages” John Voight was talking about…

  14. 14.

    nightjar

    Don’t I could do much with a simple penis, but since we’re going XXX this morning, I will offer this substitute. I hope everyone has child proof filters for this site.

    If it’s to much please delete.

  15. 15.

    calipygian

    John McCain IS Hedley LaMarr:

    “Where de white wimmin’ at?”

    We just got off a conference call with Camp McCain, defending their new ad comparing Barack Obama to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. They said they thought the ad was legitimate because Obama is a big celebrity…, and Britney and Paris were Number 2 and 3. The problem: Anyone with even a vague sense of pop culture knows that Britney and Paris are yesterday’s news. Here’s a link to Forbes’ Celebrity 100. Paris and Britney don’t even make the list any more. Instead, the top 10, in order: Oprah Winfrey, Tiger Woods, Angelina Jolie, Beyonce Knowles, David Beckham, Johnny Depp, Jay-Z, The Police, JK Rowling, Brad Pitt. So, they didn’t pick other big celebrities, who were either men, or black, or married. What they picked was two sexually available white women.

  16. 16.

    dan

    “I hated the gooks. I will hate them as long as I live.”

    John McCain, quoted in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. Clearly not a racist.

  17. 17.

    Neal

    That thing is beautiful, John. I wish I was at home with the photoshop and not at work trying to shield a giant yellow penis from view of my associates…

  18. 18.

    cleek

    you should really put that penis below a fold – i’m going to be wary of coming here for the next day or so, until that’s off the front page.

  19. 19.

    cassandra m

    Scott Simon on Saturday Weekend Edition did exactly the same thing some weeks back after an Obama speech to FL supporters. In that speech, Obama warned folks that the Republicans were ramping up to run a sleazy and racist campaign — not once mentioning John McCain’s name. Simon, however, delivered an entire commentary taking Obama to task for calling McCain racist and assuring his listeners that McCain is not racist. I (and I suspect many others) wrote to Simon reminding him that McCain did not figure anyplace in Obama’s speech — but via the NPR ombudsman, he responded that when he listened to the speech about Republicans, he understood Obama to be talking about McCain personally.

    I wish I knew how these people get these jobs.

  20. 20.

    AkaDad

    I left a comment for Jake.

    Jake Tapper,

    Head on over to Balloon Juice to collect an award for this awesome piece of journalism.

  21. 21.

    Nikki

    Ask the guys at Sadly No! to fix it up for you. And please make it a little more work safe. I would hate to lose my access to BJ for this.

  23. 23.

    Crusty Dem

    TZ, that Voight op-ed wasn’t run in a newspaper, it was run in the Moonie Times. They think Fox News is for hippies. Of course. All I know about Jon Voight is that his daughter is with Brad Pitt and George Costanza bought his used Chrysler LeBaron convertible.

  24. 24.

    4tehlulz

    Wouldn’t a tongue be more appropriate, considering the rimjob Tapper’s giving him?

    Maybe Chief Salad Tosser would be a more-appropriate title.

  26. 26.

    Gus

    When did he become a fascist?

    I heard he was one of those “9/11 changed everything” nuts.

  29. 29.

    Heshe

    It needs a smile face on it before you send it to him. You could call it The Happy McDick Award.

  31. 31.

    nightjar

    Punchy Says:

    Very ugly, disturbed voices in Jon Voight’s head

    I knew he was GOP wanker, but this article was written by one ugly motherfucker. It’s no wonder his daughter Angelina won’t have anything to do with him.

  32. 32.

    Davis X. Machina

    Jake Tapper, whether working freelance, or for Salon, or for ABC, always covers the same beat — Jake Tapper.

  34. 34.

    Warren Terra

    RE the decision of the Washington Times to publish Voight’s bile, I am reminded of a truly beautiful insult I saw yesterday on TAPPED, that Gershom Gorenberg said he was told about the Israeli newspaper Ma’ariv, and which I’ve adapted here for the Moonie Times:

    When I don’t have a book, I read a newspaper. When I don’t have a newspaper, I read the Washington Times.

    … except that you might find the small text on discarded gum wrappers more accurate and informative …

  38. 38.

    Alexandra

    I completely agree with the sentiment, but I really think the prize is childish and undermines the serious message.

  40. 40.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    Don’t I could do much with a simple penis, but since we’re going XXX this morning, I will offer this substitute. I hope everyone has child proof filters for this site.

    Haha. Thumbs up!

    All I know about Jon Voight is that his daughter is with Brad Pitt

    And she used to wear a vial of her husband’s blood around her neck, and she made out with her brother on the Academy Awards stage, and she is literally covered in tattooes, and she likes knives. Good parenting, there.

  41. 41.

    Dreggas

    caleb Says:

    Here is a first attempt at the new trophy.

    …a little shoddy but I think the idea works.

    very well done, but needs bigger balls for the afternoon tea-bagging.

  46. 46.

    Mary

    Nice one, caleb! I especially like the side effect of the ghost Prince Albert.

    Dr. Egon Spengler: There’s something very important I forgot to tell you.
    Dr. Peter Venkman: What?
    Dr. Egon Spengler: Don’t cross the streams.
    Dr. Peter Venkman: Why?
    Dr. Egon Spengler: It would be bad.
    Dr. Peter Venkman: I’m a little fuzzy on the whole “good/bad” thing here. What do you mean, “bad”?
    Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
    Dr. Ray Stantz: Total protonic reversal!
    Dr. Peter Venkman: That’s bad. Okay. All right, important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.

  47. 47.

    Ras

    How about a “Dennis Miller Dickless Wonder” award for Voight?

    We can give it to all the gutless, sell-out baby boomer fucks who see “terrists” in every shadow.

  48. 48.

    Punchy

    That thing is beautiful, John. I wish I was at home with the photoshop and not at work trying to shield a giant yellow penis from view of my associates…

    Not to mention, Neal is also viewing a Balloon-Juice website.

  49. 49.

    nightjar

    Dennis – SGMM Says:

    John, here’s the Photoshopped version.

    My vote for Dennis’s version.

  50. 50.

    nightjar

    And after seeing Caleb’s version It’s just as good as Dennis. And I have work to do on my photoshoppping.

  51. 51.

    Richardson

    When I first saw the article this morning I simply could not believe it’s context – I mean even for ABC News – and even for rightwing shill Jake Tapper – that was batshit crazy!

    The next time McCain says he admires strong, bold leadership I can’t wait to see the NY Times headline, “McCain admits he admires Stalin – aims to crush Kulaks”

  52. 52.

    TenguPhule

    Congratulations, Jake. The award is below the fold as it is NSFWish.

    Where are the Official McMancrush matching balls set?

    White, small and dimpled. Just like the real thing.

  53. 53.

    TenguPhule

    Congratulations, Jake. The award is below the fold as it is NSFWish.

    Where *is* the Official McMancrush matching balls set?

    White, small and dimpled. Just like the real thing.

  54. 54.

    chrome agnomen

    looks like the one McThuselah has, excepting his has W’s face engraved on the head

  55. 55.

    Blue Raven

    Where is the Official McMancrush matching balls set?

    White, small and dimpled. Just like the real thing.

    Those sell in packs of four, don’t they?

  58. 58.

    Darkness

    he’s… doesn’t look like the other presidents on the currency

    Well, one of those currency presidents had a child that looked an awful lot like Obama. Doesn’t that count?

  61. 61.

    mikerw

    Anybody have a working email address for Jakey? My comment at Political Paunch was deleted as well (text here on the remote chance anyone is interested). I wanted to email to let him know that just because he deletes comments, that doesn’t mean they go away. Like he cares, I guess.

  62. 62.

    Innocent Bystander

    You’re on the right track here, John. I’d really like to see a blog-wide weekly contest to elevate the most egregious examples of in-the-tank reporters/commentators from the so-called liberal media. If we shame these people into a more objective framework, it would be a good thing.

  67. 67.

    MikeF

    I think you guys have missed the point of the fluffer.

    The trophy should consist of some hands and an open mouth.

    Or a spread open set of cheeks for the daily teabagging.

  68. 68.

    Emma Anne

    I’d like to try my photoshopping skills, but my teenaged daughters would never let me live it down. I think I’ll clear my history now . . .

  69. 69.

    Hart Williams

    Good choice, John. Couldn’t go to a more deserving “journalist.”

    A few months ago Tapper breathlessly and scoopfully announced that he had “smelled cigarettes on Obama.” I kid you not.

    (And how creepy is that? An ABC reporter sniffing senators in the hallways? I suggest that you think of dogs greeting one another in a dog park.)

    Tapper is so deep into his unprofessional ideology that it never occurred to him that 1) Barack Obama falling off the wagon and having a few puffs is not, by ANY means a “story” in any professional journalistic sense, and if it was, WHO in their right mind would take Jake Tapper’s NOSE as an authoritative journalistic source.

    And 2) even if the (bizarrely gossipy) story were true, WHO GIVES A FUCK? A former smoker having a cigarette (worst case scenario) means what to who? His wife, maybe. But anybody else have ANY reason to judge, other than some kind of insane rightie wish to get ANY dirt on the Senator from Illinois?

    Seriously, you need to add a special “Golden Sphincter” cluster to the award for THAT bit of “journalistic” Rorschach blotter. Tapper is what passes for journalism these daze. No wonder the blogosphere has had to take up the slack.

  70. 70.

    Mnemosyne

    And she used to wear a vial of her husband’s blood around her neck, and she made out with her brother on the Academy Awards stage, and she is literally covered in tattoos, and she likes knives. Good parenting, there.

    Yes, but you have to give her credit: she gave her father the boot once she started adopting/having kids. Now she’s looking like the smart one.

    (And she does seem to have calmed down quite a bit since she started adopting kids.)

Comments are closed.

Trackbacks

  3. […] Don’t worry, John. You still have ABC News and Fox. Jake Tapper, Rick Klein, and company are your one network wrecking crew that will chum up any bullshit you need. After the late-night assist Tapper threw you last week on the race card BS (pro-tip: Jake Tapper has never blogged that late before, ever), you have no room to complain about the media. […]