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[…] Paris responds! When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. […]
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[…] Via Balloon Juice. […]
Come for the politics, stay for the snark.
Everyone is in a bubble, but some bubbles model reality far better than others!
You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.
The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.
Only Democrats have agency, apparently.
I wonder if trump will be tried as an adult.
I’m sure you banged some questionable people yourself.
“I never thought they’d lock HIM up,” sobbed a distraught member of the Lock Her Up Party.
Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.
Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.
I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.
Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.
Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.
Chutkan laughs. Lauro sits back down.
An unpunished coup is a training exercise.
The GOP is a fucking disgrace.
Prediction: the GOP will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.
White supremacy is terrorism.
We are aware of all internet traditions.
“The defense has a certain level of trust in defendant that the government does not.”
I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.
Trump’s legal defense is going to be a dumpster fire inside a clown car on a derailing train.
Bark louder, little dog.
The willow is too close to the house.
Fani Willis claps back at Trump chihuahua, Jim Jordan.
Blue Raven
And somewhere deep within me, I have found a scrap of respect for Paris Hilton. She read her lines cleanly and with good inflection while clearly being herself. And she bothered to do the damn thing.
Halteclere
This incrementally pushes me towards the direction of reevaluating my opinion of Paris Hilton. But before I get too wild and crazy I’ll wait a couple more years to see how much of an affect free food and lodging as paid by the County truly had on her.
Ted
Hilarious.
Joshua Norton
Stop! ! You’re killing me here.
John Cole
Not to completely excuse the idiocy that is Paris Hilton, but if I had hundreds of paparazzi following me in my late teenage years, army years, and college years, it would be a public law that I still be locked up in rehab or jail. I can think of certain weekends as an undergrad that would have been grounds for revocation of my citizenship.
Media Glutton
I liked it, but isn’t her idea for energy independence basically the Democratic position?
HumboldtBlue
That’s wonderfully done. Here’s to you, Paris, slainte!
tomjones
Obama/Hilton ’08!
Adam
Yes, it is, with the exception of the illogical part about offshore drilling “tiding us over” until Detroit builds hybrids. New drilling won’t come online for a while, and Detroit should *hopefully* introduce the Volt in 2010.
Ted
Good lesson: if you pick on someone very famous, and famous simply for being famous, don’t be surprised if they use that fame to mock you back.
Ninerdave
Paris is not Hot, or hawt even.
Genine
I must give props where props are due…
Props to Paris- because that was just flat-out funny.
DannyNoonan
At least now we know Paris can read a teleprompter better than the wrinkly old man. Owned.
AkaDad
This just proves the rumor that Obama spent a night in Paris.
Martin
I wouldn’t bank on that. They’re taking a massive risk with how they are developing the Volt and right now the battery tech simply doesn’t exist from what we can see. That’s not to say they won’t introduce /something/ but I don’t think they’ll be delivering on what they promised.
Dreggas
FTW!
Steven Donegal
Next: Britney discussing health care. that one has to be in production
HumboldtBlue
After that we get Lindsey discussing durg policy, followed by a three-part hard-hitting series on adultery by the folks who produce the “Girl’s Next Door” or whatever Heffner’s show is called.
southpaw
Ben Smith:
Loves it.
pdf
Excellent. I hope someone’s sent it to the producers at Hardball – I’m sure Olbermann’s already all over it, or will be by week’s end.
Jeff
Britney did a passable job on How I Met Your Mother. She could totally pwn McCain on health care.
Pug
Comparing McCain to Yoda, Colonel Sanders, Larry King and those mature women was a nice touch.
Ted
He also said, “Who wouldn’t want to spend more time in Paris?”
/rimshot
ThymeZone
I like the ad, it’s more convincing than any McCain ad I have see so far. Her energy proposals are similar to Obama’s and very reasonable.
Looks like we have a new contender.
AkaDad
Do you know who else wanted Paris?
Hitler!
Jon H
They actually made her sound smart.
I’m thinking Oscar.
crack
Like Craig Ferguson says, he’s glad he was a drunk wild man before camera phones and the internet. It’s really been a game changer.
Bubblegum Tate
I’m mad at John McCain for making me side with Paris Hilton.
b/w
The McCainiacs are just going to seize upon this as proof that they were right all along. “See? Obama really is all about being a celebrity like Paris Hilton!”
Chris Andersen
It’s amazing that Paris actually does a better job of discussing energy policy than does John McCain. And she can read a teleprompter!
The GOP might want to reconsider the nominee. I wonder if Paris wants the job?
Elvis Elvisberg
I used to hate her for being famous for being (in)famous, but she’s only now 27 years old, and the country loves to hate her and use her as shorthand for “stupid.”
This ad is pretty great. She reads the lines really well.
jrg
How’s that for a rapid response? I’m sure that getting pwned by Paris Hilton was not the objective of the McCain campaign. Guess they forgot about the interwebs.
Maybe the fact that the Old Wrinkly Dude can’t use a computer is material to his ability to lead in the 21st century.
JL
Somehow Paris was smart enough not to have a lime green background like that old wrinkly, white hair guy.
dbrown
Paris showed some class – maybe their is hope for us .. or is that U.S.?
Ron Beasley
They even played it on FOX this afternoon.
rob!
John McCauin has managed to create a situation where I side with Paris Hilton. well done, John.
“wrinkly old guy”–perfect.
nightjar
I expect soon Bin Laden will weigh in with his own campaign video praising the efficiency of fully inflated tires while offering criticism on infidel appetites for rich blond party girls. Then the bobbleheads will treat us to wall- to -wall coverage on how this hurts Barrack HUSSEIN Obama. Hannity will orgasm live on the TV and all will be normal in the good ole U S of A.
Ken
What great about this is that Karl Rove is not the only one who can manipulate and control the media. Paris, Britney, Nicole, et al have total control to get their message out and know how to do it extremely well.
jake
Nice.
I’m sure getting into a pissing contest with people who could buy and sell his ass with their pocket change is all part of some brilliant strategy on Camp McCane’s part.
cain
Exactly! Paris and Brittany can get way way more press coverage and people than McCain. He’s playing with fire if he pisses those girls off enough that they want to talk smack. Because I guarantee you that the nation will suddenly be very focus on McCain vs Paris. Morever, Paris can ride it (pun intended) and get herself back on the spotlight.
cain
Cruel Jest
Well, shit. I guess I can’t despise Paris Hilton anymore. That was actually well delivered and pointy. As for the Asshole Party seizing on this, remember: They take pride in being ignorant. There isn’t a statement, no matter how clear, that they can’t misappropriate to fit the current meme. The only problem is they get attention and cookies for doing it instead of the slap in the face they deserve.
GSD
After seeing the Paris Hilton response ad, I say drill here, drill now.
-GSD
The Grand Panjandrum
If the McCain campaign isn’t over after getting pwned by Paris Hilton their is no possibility of hope. I know that is a bit audacious but Jesus Christ reading a Dictionary, did she pwn that bastard.
Chris Johnson
The Paris Hilton ad was FUNNY.
I didn’t know she was funny even in a snarky way, so I like Paris just a little more than I did, kudos to her :)
AkaDad
I’m not surprised how well she did in this ad. She has more experience than most people when it comes to onshore drilling.
Chris Johnson
Next Obama tack, after the McCain people claim that Paris has actually co-opted the McCain position on energy:
“Oh, so then you’re saying that the advertisement you ran was showing a selection of people whom you thought were putting forth valid proposals for energy independence? I didn’t realize you were presenting people you considered worth listening to, but now you say you were.
Well then- thank you. Should I pay you?”
cleek
she really does have a good sense of humor. from what i’ve seen of her before this, it looks like she’s in on the joke. she not dumb; she’s just likes to play dumb.
Darkness
Loved the video but I have one minor quibble.
ARG! Drilling on the continental shelf is so stupid. What the f*ck is wrong with these people? Okay, here’s capitalism 101: Oil is a commodity. The oil pumped out from under the U.S. does not belong to the U.S. anymore than the oil under the Saudis belongs to the U.S. It is an open market. The oil belongs to the market. Period. We sell 1.7 million gallons of gasoline a day offshore, right now. This happens because we can’t outbid others for it on the open market because the dollar is a joke. We can’t bid high enough to burn our own gasoline that we’ve pumped and refined right here in the good old US of A. You want gas cheaper, we need to pay down our debts both personal and public to strengthen the dollar, only then will gas get cheaper here.
If we are moronically stupid enough to pump more oil, the French, the Brits, the heavily subsidized Indians, those with a stronger currency will jump for joy and drive around with it. NOT US. On top of that, every tax break and subsidy we have for pumping and processing oil drilled in the U.S. just makes it cheaper for the French, the Germans, etc. to drive. Brilliant freakin’ policy maneuver that is.
The only possible effect of drilling more in the U.S. is helping our balance of trade. That’s it. It makes a minor money difference on some government balance sheet, but it certainly doesn’t make an energy policy.
Oh, and Paris, loved the suit. It made me care a little less about your silly policy and heck you were reading a script, weren’t you dear?
cleek
i wrote:
… becuz i rilly m dum
Dreggas
Of course now John McCain wishes he was a celebrity. Of course the laugh is really on him given that he obviously didn’t see the ad. To make it even funnier McCain has to really reach to try and make it sounds like Paris agrees with him.
Waiting for the vid but it also appears Obama released an ad today hitting McCain’s “Original Maverick” ad.
Dreggas
what happened when Mussolini went to mount olive?
Popeye got pissed.
Delia
How pathetic is it that we live in a country, supposedly the greatest and most powerful country in the world, where the leadership of the ruling party is so stupid that they can get easily punked by a ditzy glamour celeb — and deserve it?
cain
Speaking of sluts and all, looks like McCain is offering up his wife to be some kind of tart at a dorky biker related festival. Good grief.
Here is the gruesome details.
BTW we should note that biker folks ain’t dumb since we have several among us who are total bikers and we know their worth.
cain
cleek
the most-frequent guest on the Daily Show and he’s not a celebrity ?
has his own Secrets page on Conan, and he’s not a celebrity?
an article in Architectural Digest, and he’s not a celebrity ?
“sighted” at a book signing ?
i’ve seen his Biography on A&E.
c.e.l.e.b.r.i.t.y.
h.y.p.o.c.r.i.t.e.
demimondian
I think it’s pretty cool that we live in a country where even a ditzy glamour celeb with no special talent can punk the leadership of the ruling party. It says something about the fundamental soundness of democracy as a theory of government.
hamletta
Um, dude. This is Paris Hilton. Her job is not to propose energy policy. Her job is to be hott.
And fucking hilarious.
Lighten up, Sandy!
Tom
I like the response. And while I have major disputes with describing her “policy” as a combination of McCain’s alleged policy and that of Obama, I don’t think that’s the point. For one, she’s not really running…for another, I think that helped lightened the response, following the announcer’s bashing of the white haired dude.
McCain’s picking on Brittany Spears was beyond disgusting, given the ongoing court battles over her mental state. Paris can respond, as we’ve seen, Brittany, for the moment, can’t.
Fledermaus
Jesus Christ on a cracker. An election for the most powerful person in the world and it’s all about Paris Hilton, tire gauges, arugula and someone named Lady fuckin’ Rothchild sees fit to decide who’s too elitist.
Meanwhile war crimes, torture and general destruction of the planet proceed apace in total silence. Osama’s right, we really do deserve to get nuked.
jake
Uck, uck, uck, uck!
PK
I love this ad. A well deserved smack to McCain! Who cares about her blather about energy policy. That wasn’t the point. The best part is the mockery of McCain’s age. He comes across as the old fool that he really is.
Brachiator
Absolutely. Paris Hilton is America’s National Trollop. She has an instinct for self-promotion and survival (unlike some of her peers, she has not had to go into re-hab). She also has a knack for being able to use the media to her benefit, for example, here to mock the living shit out of Gramps McCain.
You do not mess with La Hilton.
The Pale Scot
@ JC
“Not to completely excuse the idiocy that is Paris Hilton, but if I had hundreds of paparazzi following me in my late teenage years, army years, and college years, it would be a public law that I still be locked up in rehab or jail.”
Not quite the way it actually went down, Paris and sister started clubbing and stalking the paparazzi in their early teens, getting their pics in the NY tabloids at least ever other day, she wields the dumb blonde meme like a stiletto. Can’t say what’s in her head, but I’ve known other twenty-something females who act like ditzes in public and then surprise in private discussion.
NonWonderDog
It’s mildly amusing, I guess, but I didn’t listen that hard. I never had the slut-hatred for Paris Hilton that seems so prevalent and she’s always seemed more intelligent than she lets on. I don’t understand the McCain response to this at all, though. It seems that the entirety of the McCain energy policy position is “Barack Obama has no energy policy–unlike John McCain, who supports that policy you just talked about, whatever it was.”
Then I go to the McCain website, and I find that his “energy plan” is amazingly vapid. It’s full of nonsensical streams of buzzwords and almost every bulletpoint boils down to a vague “situations require that we must encourage growth” non-statement. The only things approaching details in the plan are the cap and trade targets (much less aggressive than Obama’s) and his vague 10% R&D subsidy. I can actually agree with this, though: “We need to level the playing field and eliminate mandates, subsidies, tariffs and price supports that focus exclusively on corn-based ethanol…”
Obama’s energy plan is much more detailed, and actually says what strategy he’d take to achieve his goals. It’s amazingly straightforward and mostly absent of buzzwords, too. I mean, really, compare this:
to this:
PaulW
Holy crap. Paris Hilton actually pulled off a parody that… dare I say it… was Daily Show quality. I am honestly impressed with Paris’ response here.
This won’t do the McCain campaign much good: the guys making this parody mocked him and pretty much left Obama alone.
Davis X. Machina
NonWonderDog, have you read the rest of the site?
I can wonk with the best of them. Hell, I’ve got an autographed copy of Paul Tsongas’ 1992 A Call to Economic Arms. And the position-paper part of Obama’s site made my eyes glaze over.
But McCain is Mr. Concrete Proposal, and Obama is the empty suit who gives good speech but doesn’t deign to do detail.
What the hell is wrong with this country, and more specifically the media. Are we the Saudi Arabia of stupid? (60% of the world’s proven reserves of stupid and we’ll pump all the light sweet stupid you’ll take…)
Ninerdave
hahahaha!!!
zuzu's petals
Slightly O/T, but it looks like SOMEBODY’s doin’ okay in the oil profit department:
Texas Dem
Very clever ad. I particulary loved the way she used the Golden Girls and the Crypt Keeper (one of my favorite shows way back when) to mock McCain. And that phrase “Wrinkly Old Guy” should become a new tag line for this campaign. Perhaps it wasn’t such a great idea for Team McCain to pick on Paris.
Daniel
Not quite on the topic of this thread, but I was just catching up on videos for the day and watched Obama’s response to the Rovians’ tire gauge ploy – the one in which he says “it’s like they take pride in being ignorant”. That was the sound bite from the speech, but just before that, he said something else that struck me as significant: “They know they’re lying.” Anybody else notice it?
The fact that Obama spoke the truth about that explicitly and in plain language seems to me an important signal: he’s going to take them on directly and call their lies by their proper name. I sure hope so.
Ninerdave
You do realize Texas Dem, that this is not a political ad, and is just a parody. Something she had nothing to do with other than read some lines that someone from Funny or Die (presumably) wrote for her.
Wonk
Hey John, I tried sending the link to this video to the email you have posted on the blog, but the delivery failed.
So, I’ll post it here. It’s about the “wrinkly dude,” too.
But with a twist.
Badtux
Oh geez. This one had me laughing so hard that I started coughing and now my chest hurts. I blame it all on you, John Cole. You should have warned us about the dangers of clicking on that video link!
Wrinkly old dude. Oh my.
– Badtux the Outsnarked Penguin
Thomas Edward Theadore
You people just aren’t looking at it right.
http://www.takimag.com/blogs/article/whitey_need_not_apply/
Thomas Edward Theadore
/
Sorry, wrong article, this one will tell you how to think properly-
http://www.takimag.com/blogs/article/mr_obama_welcome_to_the_nfl/
TR
If you haven’t seen Obama’s latest ad knocking down the “maverick” image, it’s worth a look.
napoleon
They played this on my local morning news and the anchor even made an obtuse reference to her sex tape by saying “at least she faced the camera this time”.
over_educated
I think this ad did more good for the Obama campaign then folks realize.
More importantn that anything else it put the age issue front and center. The McCain campaign has been fighting aggressively to avoid any mention fo his age in the media and has been trying to pin the “Ageism” mantle on Obama. The Obama campaign hasn’t been able to directly attack him on this.
Of course now the issue is out there, and it is put out there by a popular source that EVERYONE is going to see and it can’t be linked back to the Obama campaign. In fact, McCain asked for it!!!! The inclusion of Paris Hilton in that add may become the biggest flub of the campaign season.
Edmund Dantes
It was played on the morning radio show as I was driving into work this morning. At first I thought it was just something the DJ’s put together, and I didn’t realize Paris actually did this parody.
It’s getting played all over the place.
Richardson
If Paris takes Rihanna as her runningmate I suspect there are going to be a lot of very high offers to spend the night in the Lincoln bedroom.
ksmiami
BWA HA HA. I knew old man Hilton was pissed! Good for them for turning McLame’s turd into lemon meringue pie! As stated above, messing with billionaire families is not really a smart idea.
DrDave
That is surprisingly good. She does a very good job selling it.
Tax Analyst
Uh-uh…the way I heard it, it was the POPE who went to mount Olive and Popeye punched him in his fucking face.
But hell, maybe Olive was fooling around with both of them.
Tax Analyst
Yes. Britney Spears is young woman in serious trouble who could go either way. She needs to be left alone as much as possible as long as she’s not going out of her way to get publicity, which seems to be the case now.
But to recognize that would require a smidgen of empathy and a minimal amount of taste. Way too much to expect from the folks running McCain’s crappy campaign.
The PH parody-ad was hysterical and absolutely the perfect response to McCain’s. I was kind of waiting to see if she would have a response. I’m sure when someone came up with this parody idea she jumped at the chance to show up The Great McCain Lame Campaign Clown Show.
While Paris might not be the sharpest pencil in the box she’s not stupid. I honestly don’t think John McCain is any brighter or smarter than she is. Shit, wouldn’t it be part of his JOB to know things about political and cultural conditions and situations in the Middle East? He was clueless as to the geographical proximity of Pakistan to other countries in the area and was unaware of the vast differences between the Sunni and Shia’s in Iraq. Remember, he’s the guy who claims to be vastly more experienced and knowledgeable in Foreign Policy and thus more qualified to be CIC. I’m pretty sure Paris shows up at the right place when she gets a gig to appear at a Fashion show.
And she beats him hands-down in reading from a Teleprompter…
jaime
I love the “Old enough to remember when dancing was a sin, and beer was served in a bucket” line.
dbrown
To say McSame’s Hilton piece back fired on him and his dried out pile of bull-shit ‘possible’ first lady is an understatment. Every major paper is linking to the new Hilton piece for people to watch and does she nail him on being old and out of it. Reporters are even giving background on the issues and how the thing was made. This is sweet!
Don in Cda
The background on the shoot from the FoD team here. The interesting part:
Old media is really starting to suck and everyone knows it…
w vincentz
Now that bottleblonde Cindy is finished being gawked at by the bikers at Sturgess, I expect to see her in her bathing suit, sitting on a lounge chair at the side of a shuffleboard game to retaliate to Paris’s statements.
Bitches attacking each other…love it!
Bring it blondies.
Pug
I love the “Old enough to remember when dancing was a sin, and beer was served in a bucket” line.
“I’m not from the olden days . . . ”
“See you at the debates, bitches . . .”
Two great lines. Somebody wrote her a hell of a script and she delivered it like a pro.
Li
Paris Hilton is playing Columbo with the whole damn media as her suspect.
Personally, I’ve suspected it for years, but this confirms it.
jbarntt
Hi John,
I can think of certain weekends as an undergrad that would have been grounds for revocation of my citizenship.
OK, buts let give you a break; you are a natural born citizen. Since you think it would be OK to revoke your citizenship, I assume you have no problem with expelling the millions of illegal aliens from Mexico, since you seem to think it would be find to expel you.