Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Dear legacy media: you are not here to influence outcomes and policies you find desirable.

You’re just a puppy masquerading as an old coot.

There are a lot more evil idiots than evil geniuses.

Not loving this new fraud based economy.

Finding joy where we can, and muddling through where we can’t.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

“When somebody takes the time to draw up a playbook, they’re gonna use it.”

Republicans: The threats are dire, but my tickets are non-refundable!

This fight is for everything.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

Celebrate the fucking wins.

The press swings at every pitch, we don’t have to.

Those who are easily outraged are easily manipulated.

Dear Washington Post, you are the darkness now.

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

Disappointing to see gov. newsom with his finger to the wind.

We can show the world that autocracy can be defeated.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

“Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on.”

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

There are more Russians standing up to Putin than Republicans.

I did not have this on my fuck 2025 bingo card.

The line between political reporting and fan fiction continues to blur.

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Open Thread

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Known Fact: Ouzo makes your head hurt.

I hope Charles Osgood whispers this morning.

*** Update ***

This made me laugh out loud:

I have been married for twenty-five years and thirty-seven days. According to my rough calculations that is twenty-five years and thirty-seven days longer than Kathryn Jean Lopez has been married. The integrity of my marriage is fine, thankyewverymuch. I have raised a child and she is a wonderful and happy young lady. By all indications the happiness of my marriage, my daughter’s future happiness, and the fate of humankind are not imperiled by gay marriage. Therefore I would greatly appreciate it if Kathryn Jean Lopez would kindly shut the fuck up about something she obviously knows nothing about. In return I will defer to her judgment in all things related to Duran Duran, which one of the Mitt spawn looks like he would be the “most gentle lover”, and how long you have to leave a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey out before it is liquefied enough to shotgun straight from the carton.

There you have it. Peace in our time.

Reader Interactions

30Comments

  3. 3.

    Conservatively Liberal

    GOOD MORNING JOHN! ! ! ! ! FEELING A BIT HUNG OVER THIS AM? A NIP OF THE HAIR OF THE DOG OUGHT TO SET YOU RIGHT.

    ;)

  4. 4.

    Gindy

    And it makes you smell bad after your body processes it.
    It’s the same with any hard liquor. I always know when my husband has a whiskey or vodka, he smells differently (BAD different, not good different). When he has a glass of wine or beer, not so much.
    Hard liquor makes people smell bad.

  5. 5.

    John S.

    Known Fact: Jake Tapper is still an idiot.

    Much of what Corsi writes in his book is demonstrably false, irresponsible, and feverishly conjured. The book is indefensible, as are Corsi’s many bigoted remarks about Arabs, the Pope and others.

    But the Obama campaign got a little greedy in their refutations.

    First of all, on the front of the response, is a labeled stamped “Brought to you by Bush/Cheney Attack Machine.”

    Tapper then goes on to defend Corsi as not being part of the same operation that Bush and Cheney are. Oh, and the whole book is really Obama’s fault. No, I am not kidding. Even Jake knows he is full of shit since he feels comp[elled to close with:

    Again, I’m not defending Corsi. Much of what he writes is troubling and fictional. But that doesn’t mean that the Obama campaign shouldn’t hew closer to the truth.

    Uh-huh, Jake. Tell us another one.

  7. 7.

    paradox

    I am hammered.

    Yeah you fuckin’ are, a complete 180 from me, hungry and ready for a 15 mile ride. Unfortunately for me I don’t get to reply on a TV show fo a cheap blog post and I got nothin’, as nothin’ as your brain is gonna be for the next 10 hours.

    Was I a sanctimonious prick enough? Good. This campaign sucks, I’ve got nothing ’cause there is nothing, Jesus, how was that evangelical play or who will be vp?

    Gag me. This whole fucking election gives everyone a hangover anyway, I should have got smashed for the fun part of it, shit.

  8. 8.

    demkat620

    Hey wanna feel better?

    Did you know John McCain was so good last night he won the election?

  9. 9.

    Paul

    Ouzo is definitely dangerous stuff. Much, much sympathies.

    My hangover “cure” is pretty basic: Multivitamin, aspirin, and lots of water (drink water like a fish: get the alcohol flushed out quickly and the dehydration effects minimized)

  11. 11.

    Stoic

    Want to avoid a hangover next time? Take three aspirin before going to bed . Works for me every time.

  12. 12.

    wasabi gasp

    Before your drunken self hits the hay, eat a candy bar* or two, take a multi-vitamin, some aspirin, and throw back a couple of glasses of water**.

    * Don’t forget to brush your drunken teeth.
    ** Wait for your last drunken pee so you don’t wake in the middle of the night banging door jams with your drunken head.

  13. 13.

    Dennis - SGMM

    I’ve only been married for thirty -one years and one-hundred-sixty days. All that we did was stay together while raising an autistic child. Clearly, gay marriage is a severe threat to my family.

  14. 14.

    Brachiator

    I recorded some of Saturday’s Olympics coverage for more convenient viewing this morning. Phelps was amazing in his last medal grab, and it was interesting to see that Kobe Bryant, LeBron James and other Olympic competitors came to the swim stadium to watch Phelps.

    By the way, Phelps may be the most dominant swimmer, but apparently the ladies swoon over fellow swimmer Ryan Lochte (e.g., this piece by yahoo sports blogger Maggie Hendricks)

    When Ryan Lochte won his first individual Olympic gold last night, the sound you heard was women all over America cheering. You see, Michael Phelps may have six gold medals, Aaron Peirsol may have the market cornered on California cool, but Lochte has locked up the ladies’ vote. Yes, that includes me, but judging by the names of the people cheering on Lochte from our live blog last night, I am not alone.

    Lochte’s dad said that Ryan is killin’ it with the ladies. His name, picture and questions about a girlfriend, or lack thereof, are quite popular on Yahoo! Search. At Ladies …, a blog dedicated to ogling athletes, a Lochte photo essay is far and away the most popular post on the site.

    Phelps may get his photo on the box of Wheaties, but Lochte may find Hollywood calling.

    I was glad to see that Dara Torres swam well and transformed the “feel good story” about a 41 year-old competitor making the Olympics into real achievement (in the last relay, Torres swam better than at least one of her teammates). But once again, NBC brought teh stupid by interviewing the Silver Medal Americans, but not also the Gold Medal Australian team.

    I didn’t know much about runner Usain Bolt, but I have never seen anyone run the 100 meter race with such deceptive ease. And that he easily dominated the field and also set a world record — just freakin’ stunning.

  17. 17.

    bago

    A saline IV drip apparently is the best prevention for a hangover. Those apparently cost almost 1000 dollars a bag if you’re not in the military though.

  19. 19.

    zuzu's petals

    First of all, on the front of the response, is a labeled stamped “Brought to you by Bush/Cheney Attack Machine.”

    Uh, hello. The “book” was edited and published by Mary Matalin, who until recently WAS part of the Bush/Cheney Attack Machine. Officially. As in employed by both Bush and Cheney.

  20. 20.

    zuzu's petals

    Dennis – SGMM Says:

    I’ve only been married for thirty one years and onehundred-sixty days. All that we did was stay together while raising an autistic child. Clearly, gay marriage is a severe threat to my family.

    Congrats and may you have many more years together.

    Ironically, my marriage was destroyed by heterosexual sex. As in my husband wanting to have it with everybody else.

  21. 21.

    Digital Amish

    I didn’t know much about runner Usain Bolt, but I have never seen anyone run the 100 meter race with such deceptive ease. And that he easily dominated the field and also set a world record—just freakin’ stunning.

    Fuckin’ amazing. Like a different freakin’ species. Even had time for a little show boating the last ten meters. Looks like he’s capable of breaking 9.6 right now and I think he’s only 21.

  23. 23.

    glasgowtremontaine

    A saline IV drip apparently is the best prevention for a hangover. Those apparently cost almost 1000 dollars a bag if you’re not in the military though.

    I believe you are referring to Lactated Ringer’s Solution, which costs $5-$12 per bag, once you have a prescription. To obtain which, proceed to your nearest animal shelter and adopt a kidney-disease-stricken cat, the serious drinker’s best pal.

  24. 24.

    w vincentz

    @ Glasgow-t-m-t,
    That’s a very good suggestion.
    I tried that lactated ringer stuff and it worked like a charm. There were only two drawbacks.
    1) When I woke up the next morning, I couldn’t talk. I could only come out with a rather pathetic “meow”.
    2) For some reason, I was unable to piss in the toilet and ran to the litterbox instead.

    I’d type more but now that I’m shedding, the fur is getting all over the keyboard.

  25. 25.

    Joe Max

    Known Fact: Ouzo makes your head hurt.

    Damn, John, you actually drink that shit? I thought it was invented by Greeks as a punishment. Or a joke.

  26. 26.

    Corner Stone

    Brachiator says:

    I didn’t know much about runner Usain Bolt, but I have never seen anyone run the 100 meter race with such deceptive ease. And that he easily dominated the field and also set a world record—just freakin’ stunning.

    For a second I wasn’t sure the event was actually happening, like a false start had been called and everyone heard it but Bolt. I don’t think enough can be said about how dominant that run was.
    John +12 may as well have been out there competing against him. In a way I felt bad for the other clowns when he started chest thumping with 15 meters to go. But it was so smoooooth I just couldn’t stop watching.
    Unbelievable.

  28. 28.

    Gemina13

    Ouzo was invented solely to punish college students and social drinkers. A classmate of mine wanted to impress a particular fraternity, so he went to one of their rushes and drank a fifth of ouzo. If I’d known what he was drinking, I would have warned him to stop after the second shot, and to kill himself after the tenth.

    Instead, he woke up in the morning and filled a garbage can with vomit, then lay passed out for two more hours until he had to do it again. He looked like hell before breakfast.

    I have my own hangover cure: 1000 mg of B-12, 8 glasses of water in succession (with 5-minute intervals between), and chocolate cream pie. My good friend DeLynne had another one: Red Bull.

  30. 30.

    Egilsson

    I got divorced after 15 years of marriage. Some might think it was the profound stress of years of dealing with our daughter’s cancer treatments and the financial stress associated with that and our screwed up health care / societal safety nets, but I blame THE GAYS!

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