And when I say it is off with a bang, I hope Howard Dean was offstage shooting whoever planned the first ten minutes. First, an “inter-faith” prayer to start the ceremony, which went something like this:
“We thank you heavenly father for bringing together this diverse group of diverse delegates together to do our sacred duty to diversely represent the diverse people blah blah blah blah.”
It was like a bad SNL skit. It was like the time I went to a church ceremony for Christmas with my parents after years away from church, and found us holding hands, lighting candles, and singing “Oh Tannenbaum” while wondering when the pagans had taken over the Disciples of Christ. If this is the fruit of years of effort to reach values voters, just stop. We might as well say fuck it and go for the satan worshipper vote.
God willing, no one saw this.
Additional highlights included a hesistant announcer who consistantly put the emphasis on the wrong syllable and seemed to not know what she was saying, and the children’s choir, who started ahead of the beat singing the national anthem to the pleasing tones of an electric piano. I have expected to see Harry Shearer, Fred Willard, and Christopher Guest on stage it was that bad.
Meanwhile, CNN is in full ratfuck mode. For balance they had Clinton surrogate James Carville and McCain surrogate and hypocritical moralizing loudmouth Bill Bennett on to explain why Obama sucks, and Bennett dutifully informed us that this is the most liberal Democratic party EVAH and that while most people like Biden, Alito, Roberts, and Thomas don’t (without noting the irony that all three of them were confirmed).
They then broke to the floor, where a 19 year old Clinton delegate was going to explain why he was still going to vote for Clinton. Fortunately, the microphone was broken, and as they went to commercial break, Wolf informed us:
“Well, I hope they fix your microphone, because we want to hear from the delegates. Especially the Clinton delegates who are unhappy.”
Yeah. It is gonna go down like that. Fucking liberal media.
maxbaer (not the original)
John, thanks for watching so we didn’t have to.
Zifnab
What? Just last year I was being told by every pundit who could squeeze in eight seconds of air time that Hillary Clinton was the most liberalist and left-wing extreme voice in the entire history of the Senate and she was going to take my guns and bring back socialism and Nazis and establish a fem-o-cracy run by fat lesbians who don’t shave.
And, sure enough, the liberal media is backing that exact same hyper-liberal super-radical ultra-left-wing feminist icon, Hillary Clinton. Even Sean Hannity was singing her praises.
If that doesn’t prove the media is run by elitist Nazi radical feminist atheist socialist communist neo-Pagan ultra radical liberal baby killing racist moonbat self-hating anti-American evil leftists, I don’t know what does.
Jake
The only guy on CNN I can watch these days is Cooper. He’s the only one who seems to have some semblance of journalistic integrity left.
I didn’t catch it, but apparently Chuck Todd shot down all of the PUMA nonsense and then some on Hardball today.
Dreggas
Jake,
Todd did slap people around on the PUMA nonsense pretty well. In teasers for the Daily show/Colbert Report coverage of the DNC they showed some of the crazy ass people they’ve had on various shows who are PUMA’s. The irony is they’ll be on the daily show etc. to be mocked and not even get it.
D-Chance.
Careful about that “with a bang” thing… some Hillary supporters are still serious about the ‘anything can happen between now and the convention’ June speech she gave.
mark
Fixt.
Dennis - SGMM
How can you criticize CNN? Don’t you know that they will have just as many Clintonistas and McCain supporters on during the Republican convention as they are during the Democratic one? Sheesh!
Incertus
I was watching that on the special Dish Network channel set up for the convention, and while I was a bit overwhelmed by the tidal wave of the Jeebus that came out in the first twenty minutes or so, it’s calmed down since then. Now if they could just do something about that band.
zzyzx
I don’t feel bad about switching to MSNBC a few months ago.
SamFromUtah
“…we want to hear from the delegates. Especially the Clinton delegates who are unhappy.”
How unexpectedly honest.
Davis X. Machina
Did I miss the lesbian biker nuns?
‘Cause Fox swore to me that there’d be lesbian biker nuns…..
Cris
They are now playing A Taste of Honey “Get Down, Boogie Oogie Oogie” and showing convention delegates dancing. Please help.
Incertus
By the way, this is the early story of the convention.
That’s a whole lot of awesome.
Alan Black
I can see why they wanted the Denver police to go easy on the use of marijuana. Although technically, if you’re there, you won’t see the eyewatering coverage.
Someone turn this into a decent joke please and credit me. Or don’t.
I’m hoping the Jeebus stuff was like ripping off the plaster quick and fast to get it out of the way.
zzyzx
Although I am getting sick of MSNBC airing McCain ads for free.
Just Some Fuckhead
Maybe if we’re lucky, CNN will broadcast a caged deathmatch between Cafferty and Carville.
Incertus
C-SPAN isn’t running them. There are no talking heads, as a matter of fact. It’s refreshing.
Cris
This applies as a general praise for C-Span.
dr. bloor
Has no one here ever watched a convention before? Kids singing ahead of the beat? Jesus? Boogie Oogie Oogie getting shredded by overweight baby boomers on the cusp of SS? What were y’all expecting?
As for the commentary, fuck ’em. Obama, Biden and the pictures later in the week are going to obliterate anything Fat Billy Bennett has to say between hands of blackjack.
Just Some Fuckhead
I remember when Roland Martin was a white dude with a fishing show. He’s certainly moving in different circles these days.
Scott H
Thanx for the heads up about the glutted Bill Bennett being on CNN. That reduces to zero (0) the number of cable news networks I will be tuning in.
I may try to catch Ted Kennedy, if he can make the show, on the Dish DNC live feed. This may be the last chance to see the guy.
Today, finding the spotlight of the media shifted to Denver, McCain strategists turned their focus to Cardiff, Wales and that fundamental of all threats to the Republic… Madonna!
Jake
I think this got lost in the server crash, but FWIW Jeralyn did have a post up today over at TalkLeft stating that she’s going to vote for the Obama/Biden ticket.
Of course the commenters are all still batshit crazy, but you know how it goes. One step at a time.
zzyzx
Cardiff? They must be worried about the rift! Call Torchwood!
empty
No, they are not Hillary supporters they are Obama opponents. And what they are doing is working for them. Sing the praises of Clinton and some Obama supporter will go into full on CDS, which will turn off some more Clinton supporters. Easy.
Tsulagi
Good God. Next they’re going to start handing out Birks and Hola Fruta.
Oh. Sorry.
;)
Martin
They get it. Their only goal is to be on TV. These are like the people on the Japanese game shows that have to wear a diaper and eat bugs and shit like that in order to win a new toaster. Humiliation doesn’t register with them – it’s like a form of aspergers.
Conservatively Liberal
How dated. At the very least they should have set the floor up as a mosh pit and have the appropriate music for it. Now that is unity! ;)
At the start of the KO hour on MSNBC, Tweety brought up the crazy ‘Clinton for McCain’ (who use an RNC registered domain per info at Kos) ladies and basically said that they were full of shit and that MSNBC shouldn’t have bothered to give them air time.
A shred of sanity crept into Tweety’s small mind, but it won’t last.
Listening Mourning Joe, and KO is correcting him. Again. Joe is shoveling the McCain shit (and he is even talking about a shovel right now!) for his campaign. As usual, Joe is about as impartial as a Republican can be.
He isn’t.
PeterJ
I’m rooting for electrocutions.
KRK
Yeah, I’ve never watched a convention before, and even I knew that it wasn’t exactly going to be must see TV from the get go. And I guess I’m a complete dork, because I like watching normal people dance badly; it’s charming.
J. Michael Neal
MSNBC is now citing a poll of 18-24 year olds, and making a big deal out of the fact that McCain leads Obama by three points on the question of who would be a better Commander-in-Chief. 31-28. Oh, noes! A full 31% of this demographic thinks that McCain is better on the most important part of his candidacy!
KRK
Actually, she didn’t say that. She pretty explicity reserved for herself the right not to vote at all (i.e., voting for McCain is not okay) because she has “personal” objections to the ticket. But she hopes everyone else will get on board. For once her commenters were right in calling BS on unity-for-thee-but-not-for-me.
Dulcie
It’s also within the margin of error +/- 3%. I’m going to watch the convention coverage on C-Span. The talking heads are making my head hurt, especially that moron Joe Scarborough.
KLG
I knew there was something special about you, John. Another “Disciple” here, but I have yet to attend a Christmas Service where “O, Tannenbaum” was sung. I guess we are behind the times. Anyway, I sure am glad I missed all that. Sheesh.
Conservatively Liberal
Hey you die-hard Hillary supporters, how about listening to Hillary for once?
And:
And:
Odds are some of you Hillary supporters were watching her eye-blinks while she was saying this in an attempt to decode her secret message to you, so you missed the content of what she said. This message is not aimed at you because you are beyond reach. There are some genuine Hillary supporters out there who need to hear what she said because they actually respect her opinion, unlike her so-called PUMA
supportersratfuckers.Finally, as Hillary herself said regarding John McCain’s campaign use of her in their advertising:
Enough said. Get over it already, this election is not about you.
ThatLeftTurnInABQ
Who says that prayer doesn’t work?