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You are here: Home / Past Elections / Election 2008 / And The Convention Is Off With a Bang

And The Convention Is Off With a Bang

by John Cole|  August 25, 20085:11 pm| 36 Comments

This post is in: Election 2008, I Can No Longer Rationally Discuss The Clinton Campaign, Media, Assholes, Democratic Stupidity, Did You Know John McCain Was A POW?, Mainstream Media's McCain Mancrush

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And when I say it is off with a bang, I hope Howard Dean was offstage shooting whoever planned the first ten minutes. First, an “inter-faith” prayer to start the ceremony, which went something like this:

“We thank you heavenly father for bringing together this diverse group of diverse delegates together to do our sacred duty to diversely represent the diverse people blah blah blah blah.”

It was like a bad SNL skit. It was like the time I went to a church ceremony for Christmas with my parents after years away from church, and found us holding hands, lighting candles, and singing “Oh Tannenbaum” while wondering when the pagans had taken over the Disciples of Christ. If this is the fruit of years of effort to reach values voters, just stop. We might as well say fuck it and go for the satan worshipper vote.

God willing, no one saw this.

Additional highlights included a hesistant announcer who consistantly put the emphasis on the wrong syllable and seemed to not know what she was saying, and the children’s choir, who started ahead of the beat singing the national anthem to the pleasing tones of an electric piano. I have expected to see Harry Shearer, Fred Willard, and Christopher Guest on stage it was that bad.

Meanwhile, CNN is in full ratfuck mode. For balance they had Clinton surrogate James Carville and McCain surrogate and hypocritical moralizing loudmouth Bill Bennett on to explain why Obama sucks, and Bennett dutifully informed us that this is the most liberal Democratic party EVAH and that while most people like Biden, Alito, Roberts, and Thomas don’t (without noting the irony that all three of them were confirmed).

They then broke to the floor, where a 19 year old Clinton delegate was going to explain why he was still going to vote for Clinton. Fortunately, the microphone was broken, and as they went to commercial break, Wolf informed us:

“Well, I hope they fix your microphone, because we want to hear from the delegates. Especially the Clinton delegates who are unhappy.”

Yeah. It is gonna go down like that. Fucking liberal media.

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36Comments

  1. 1.

    maxbaer (not the original)

    August 25, 2008 at 5:16 pm

    John, thanks for watching so we didn’t have to.

  2. 2.

    Zifnab

    August 25, 2008 at 5:20 pm

    “Well, I hope they fix your microphone, because we want to hear from the delegates. Especially the Clinton delegates who are unhappy.”

    Yeah. It is gonna go down like that. Fucking liberal media.

    What? Just last year I was being told by every pundit who could squeeze in eight seconds of air time that Hillary Clinton was the most liberalist and left-wing extreme voice in the entire history of the Senate and she was going to take my guns and bring back socialism and Nazis and establish a fem-o-cracy run by fat lesbians who don’t shave.

    And, sure enough, the liberal media is backing that exact same hyper-liberal super-radical ultra-left-wing feminist icon, Hillary Clinton. Even Sean Hannity was singing her praises.

    If that doesn’t prove the media is run by elitist Nazi radical feminist atheist socialist communist neo-Pagan ultra radical liberal baby killing racist moonbat self-hating anti-American evil leftists, I don’t know what does.

  3. 3.

    Jake

    August 25, 2008 at 5:20 pm

    The only guy on CNN I can watch these days is Cooper. He’s the only one who seems to have some semblance of journalistic integrity left.

    I didn’t catch it, but apparently Chuck Todd shot down all of the PUMA nonsense and then some on Hardball today.

  4. 4.

    Dreggas

    August 25, 2008 at 5:24 pm

    Jake,

    Todd did slap people around on the PUMA nonsense pretty well. In teasers for the Daily show/Colbert Report coverage of the DNC they showed some of the crazy ass people they’ve had on various shows who are PUMA’s. The irony is they’ll be on the daily show etc. to be mocked and not even get it.

  5. 5.

    D-Chance.

    August 25, 2008 at 5:25 pm

    Careful about that “with a bang” thing… some Hillary supporters are still serious about the ‘anything can happen between now and the convention’ June speech she gave.

  6. 6.

    mark

    August 25, 2008 at 5:26 pm

    “We thank you heavenly father caregiver for bringing together this diverse group of diverse delegates together to do our sacred duty to diversely represent the diverse people blah blah blah blah.”

    Fixt.

  7. 7.

    Dennis - SGMM

    August 25, 2008 at 5:29 pm

    How can you criticize CNN? Don’t you know that they will have just as many Clintonistas and McCain supporters on during the Republican convention as they are during the Democratic one? Sheesh!

  8. 8.

    Incertus

    August 25, 2008 at 5:29 pm

    I was watching that on the special Dish Network channel set up for the convention, and while I was a bit overwhelmed by the tidal wave of the Jeebus that came out in the first twenty minutes or so, it’s calmed down since then. Now if they could just do something about that band.

  9. 9.

    zzyzx

    August 25, 2008 at 5:30 pm

    I don’t feel bad about switching to MSNBC a few months ago.

  10. 10.

    SamFromUtah

    August 25, 2008 at 5:30 pm

    “…we want to hear from the delegates. Especially the Clinton delegates who are unhappy.”

    How unexpectedly honest.

  11. 11.

    Davis X. Machina

    August 25, 2008 at 5:31 pm

    Did I miss the lesbian biker nuns?

    ‘Cause Fox swore to me that there’d be lesbian biker nuns…..

  12. 12.

    Cris

    August 25, 2008 at 5:31 pm

    They are now playing A Taste of Honey “Get Down, Boogie Oogie Oogie” and showing convention delegates dancing. Please help.

  13. 13.

    Incertus

    August 25, 2008 at 5:32 pm

    By the way, this is the early story of the convention.

    DENVER – A sprinkler system partially flooded part of the Pepsi Center Monday morning.

    The Denver Fire Department, which has a crew stationed at the center all week, was able to respond quickly before 5 a.m. when the sprinkler went off.

    The sprinkler was located on the club level in a skybox which had recently been renovated to host a news crew. It appears the skybox belongs to Fox.

    That’s a whole lot of awesome.

  14. 14.

    Alan Black

    August 25, 2008 at 5:33 pm

    I can see why they wanted the Denver police to go easy on the use of marijuana. Although technically, if you’re there, you won’t see the eyewatering coverage.

    Someone turn this into a decent joke please and credit me. Or don’t.

    I’m hoping the Jeebus stuff was like ripping off the plaster quick and fast to get it out of the way.

  15. 15.

    zzyzx

    August 25, 2008 at 5:33 pm

    Although I am getting sick of MSNBC airing McCain ads for free.

  16. 16.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    August 25, 2008 at 5:38 pm

    Maybe if we’re lucky, CNN will broadcast a caged deathmatch between Cafferty and Carville.

  17. 17.

    Incertus

    August 25, 2008 at 5:38 pm

    Although I am getting sick of MSNBC airing McCain ads for free.

    C-SPAN isn’t running them. There are no talking heads, as a matter of fact. It’s refreshing.

  18. 18.

    Cris

    August 25, 2008 at 5:40 pm

    C-SPAN isn’t running them. There are no talking heads, as a matter of fact. It’s refreshing.

    This applies as a general praise for C-Span.

  19. 19.

    dr. bloor

    August 25, 2008 at 5:41 pm

    Has no one here ever watched a convention before? Kids singing ahead of the beat? Jesus? Boogie Oogie Oogie getting shredded by overweight baby boomers on the cusp of SS? What were y’all expecting?

    As for the commentary, fuck ’em. Obama, Biden and the pictures later in the week are going to obliterate anything Fat Billy Bennett has to say between hands of blackjack.

  20. 20.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    August 25, 2008 at 5:42 pm

    I remember when Roland Martin was a white dude with a fishing show. He’s certainly moving in different circles these days.

  21. 21.

    Scott H

    August 25, 2008 at 5:43 pm

    Thanx for the heads up about the glutted Bill Bennett being on CNN. That reduces to zero (0) the number of cable news networks I will be tuning in.

    I may try to catch Ted Kennedy, if he can make the show, on the Dish DNC live feed. This may be the last chance to see the guy.

    Today, finding the spotlight of the media shifted to Denver, McCain strategists turned their focus to Cardiff, Wales and that fundamental of all threats to the Republic… Madonna!

  22. 22.

    Jake

    August 25, 2008 at 5:44 pm

    I think this got lost in the server crash, but FWIW Jeralyn did have a post up today over at TalkLeft stating that she’s going to vote for the Obama/Biden ticket.

    Of course the commenters are all still batshit crazy, but you know how it goes. One step at a time.

  23. 23.

    zzyzx

    August 25, 2008 at 5:45 pm

    Cardiff? They must be worried about the rift! Call Torchwood!

  24. 24.

    empty

    August 25, 2008 at 6:18 pm

    It seems like Hillary’s biggest supporters today are the same people who were more than willing to rehash Vince Foster yesterday. How strange.

    No, they are not Hillary supporters they are Obama opponents. And what they are doing is working for them. Sing the praises of Clinton and some Obama supporter will go into full on CDS, which will turn off some more Clinton supporters. Easy.

  25. 25.

    Tsulagi

    August 25, 2008 at 6:19 pm

    “We thank you heavenly father for bringing together this diverse group of diverse delegates together to do our sacred duty to diversely represent the diverse people blah blah blah blah.”

    Good God. Next they’re going to start handing out Birks and Hola Fruta.

    Oh. Sorry.
    ;)

  26. 26.

    Martin

    August 25, 2008 at 6:26 pm

    The irony is they’ll be on the daily show etc. to be mocked and not even get it.

    They get it. Their only goal is to be on TV. These are like the people on the Japanese game shows that have to wear a diaper and eat bugs and shit like that in order to win a new toaster. Humiliation doesn’t register with them – it’s like a form of aspergers.

  27. 27.

    Conservatively Liberal

    August 25, 2008 at 6:27 pm

    They are now playing A Taste of Honey “Get Down, Boogie Oogie Oogie” and showing convention delegates dancing. Please help.

    How dated. At the very least they should have set the floor up as a mosh pit and have the appropriate music for it. Now that is unity! ;)

    At the start of the KO hour on MSNBC, Tweety brought up the crazy ‘Clinton for McCain’ (who use an RNC registered domain per info at Kos) ladies and basically said that they were full of shit and that MSNBC shouldn’t have bothered to give them air time.

    A shred of sanity crept into Tweety’s small mind, but it won’t last.

    Listening Mourning Joe, and KO is correcting him. Again. Joe is shoveling the McCain shit (and he is even talking about a shovel right now!) for his campaign. As usual, Joe is about as impartial as a Republican can be.

    He isn’t.

  28. 28.

    PeterJ

    August 25, 2008 at 6:27 pm

    The sprinkler was located on the club level in a skybox which had recently been renovated to host a news crew. It appears the skybox belongs to Fox.

    I’m rooting for electrocutions.

  29. 29.

    KRK

    August 25, 2008 at 6:47 pm

    dr. bloor Says:

    Has no one here ever watched a convention before? Kids singing ahead of the beat? Jesus? Boogie Oogie Oogie getting shredded by overweight baby boomers on the cusp of SS? What were y’all expecting?

    Yeah, I’ve never watched a convention before, and even I knew that it wasn’t exactly going to be must see TV from the get go. And I guess I’m a complete dork, because I like watching normal people dance badly; it’s charming.

  30. 30.

    J. Michael Neal

    August 25, 2008 at 6:50 pm

    MSNBC is now citing a poll of 18-24 year olds, and making a big deal out of the fact that McCain leads Obama by three points on the question of who would be a better Commander-in-Chief. 31-28. Oh, noes! A full 31% of this demographic thinks that McCain is better on the most important part of his candidacy!

  31. 31.

    KRK

    August 25, 2008 at 6:51 pm

    Jake Says:

    I think this got lost in the server crash, but FWIW Jeralyn did have a post up today over at TalkLeft stating that she’s going to vote for the Obama/Biden ticket.

    Actually, she didn’t say that. She pretty explicity reserved for herself the right not to vote at all (i.e., voting for McCain is not okay) because she has “personal” objections to the ticket. But she hopes everyone else will get on board. For once her commenters were right in calling BS on unity-for-thee-but-not-for-me.

  32. 32.

    Dulcie

    August 25, 2008 at 6:56 pm

    MSNBC is now citing a poll of 18-24 year olds, and making a big deal out of the fact that McCain leads Obama by three points on the question of who would be a better Commander-in-Chief. 31-28.

    It’s also within the margin of error +/- 3%. I’m going to watch the convention coverage on C-Span. The talking heads are making my head hurt, especially that moron Joe Scarborough.

  33. 33.

    KLG

    August 25, 2008 at 6:57 pm

    I knew there was something special about you, John. Another “Disciple” here, but I have yet to attend a Christmas Service where “O, Tannenbaum” was sung. I guess we are behind the times. Anyway, I sure am glad I missed all that. Sheesh.

  34. 34.

    Conservatively Liberal

    August 25, 2008 at 7:00 pm

    Hey you die-hard Hillary supporters, how about listening to Hillary for once?

    “We are gathered here in Denver for a very clear and simple purpose, and that is to come out of this convention energized, excited and ready to elect Barack Obama the next president of the United States.”

    And:

    “If you voted for me, you have much more in common with Senator Obama on every issue I campaigned on, on every cause that I have stood for, than you do with Senator McCain.”

    And:

    “I ask each and every one of you to work as hard for Barack and Joe Biden as you worked for me.”

    Odds are some of you Hillary supporters were watching her eye-blinks while she was saying this in an attempt to decode her secret message to you, so you missed the content of what she said. This message is not aimed at you because you are beyond reach. There are some genuine Hillary supporters out there who need to hear what she said because they actually respect her opinion, unlike her so-called PUMA supporters ratfuckers.

    Finally, as Hillary herself said regarding John McCain’s campaign use of her in their advertising:

    “I am Hillary Clinton and I do not approve that message.”

    Enough said. Get over it already, this election is not about you.

  35. 35.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    August 25, 2008 at 7:31 pm

    The sprinkler was located on the club level in a skybox which had recently been renovated to host a news crew. It appears the skybox belongs to Fox.

    Who says that prayer doesn’t work?

Comments are closed.

Trackbacks

  1. Convention Live-Blogging: Day 1 « Voting While Intoxicated says:
    August 25, 2008 at 6:31 pm

    […] Convention Live-Blogging: Day 1 5:30: I’m about to get back into the action. Maybe it is a good thing I’m watching C-SPAN. […]

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