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You are here: Home / Past Elections / Election 2008 / The Palin-Maginot Line

The Palin-Maginot Line

by John Cole|  August 31, 200812:05 pm| 68 Comments

This post is in: Election 2008, Did You Know John McCain Was A POW?

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And you thought TBOGG was kidding. Take it away, Cindy McCain:

STEPHANOPOULOS: But she has no national security experience.

McCAIN: You know, the experience that she comes from is what she’s done in government, and remember, Alaska is the closest part of our continent to Russia. It’s not as if she doesn’t understand what’s at stake here.

And let us not forget Canada!

Hey, what the hell. It worked with Bush and Mexico. Might as well run the whole Russia thing up the flagpole.

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Reader Interactions

68Comments

  1. 1.

    gopher2b

    August 31, 2008 at 12:07 pm

    I’m seriously laughing my ass off right now.

    I actually thought of that argument when they picked (as a joke in my head)

  2. 2.

    mainsailset

    August 31, 2008 at 12:10 pm

    Jon Stewart’s quip was still the standout: ‘Does this mean she also has an inside relationship with Santa Claus?”

  3. 3.

    JL

    August 31, 2008 at 12:10 pm

    We are all Alaskans now.

  4. 4.

    boonagain

    August 31, 2008 at 12:12 pm

    John McCain WISHES he had been close to Russia when he was a POW for 5 1/2 years!!

    Y’all do know he was a POW, don’t you?

  5. 5.

    CMcC

    August 31, 2008 at 12:12 pm

    It gets even better on the experience front.

    Think I heard a reference to this from both the frosty blonde bombshell on MSNBC and from Mayor Juliani on whatever (before I gagged and turned him off): thank God McCain picked Palin!

    And here’s why: her — get ready for it — her EXECUTIVE EXPERIENCE is now available to save New Orleans! How fortunate it is for the United States that she will soon be on the scene to direct operations!

  6. 6.

    cleek

    August 31, 2008 at 12:13 pm

    Obama has lived in SE Asia. and that makes him a scary Muslim. Palin lived hundreds of miles from an uninhabited part of Alaska. that makes her a foreign policy guru.

    McCain is a joke.

    sure, the joke’s too dry for many people who will vote for him, thinking he’s serious. but he’s still a joke – a kind of Andy Kaufman of presidential politics.

  7. 7.

    JL

    August 31, 2008 at 12:13 pm

    John, Margaret Carlson of Bloomberg News even used the line about Alaska’s proximity to Russia.

  8. 8.

    JGabriel

    August 31, 2008 at 12:14 pm

    There are hordes – HORDES, I tell you – of Siberian Yupik just waiting across the Bering Strait for their opportunity to invade and take back Alaska for their own!

    That there have been no terror attacks from the Siberian Yupik since 9/11 is absolute proof that Sarah Palin knows how to protect our country.

    And don’t even get me started on the Nivkh.

    .

  9. 9.

    cleek

    August 31, 2008 at 12:14 pm

    an uninhabited part of Alaska

    an uninhabited part of Russia.

    a kind of Andy Kaufman of presidential politics.

    a kind of Tony Clifton of presidential politics.

    (too early in the day.. haven’t had enough to drink yet)

  10. 10.

    PeterJ

    August 31, 2008 at 12:15 pm

    Cindy McCain should be the Drug Czar in the McCain administration, her knowledge of prescription drugs makes her highly qualified.

  11. 11.

    Dennis - SGMM

    August 31, 2008 at 12:15 pm

    Has Palin ever been to Russia? How about Iraq, Mexico, Pakistan, China, India, England, japan, France, or even California?
    You can’t even see Russia across the 53 mile wide Bering Strait. The Logan Act forbids governors, among others, to conduct diplomacy so I’m hard pressed to see how being near Russia constitutes foreign policy experience.

  12. 12.

    CMcC

    August 31, 2008 at 12:17 pm

    And, by the way, Juliani (oops, make that Giuliani) knows about these matters because he has, uh, experience with disasters (wink, wink). Really, he didn’t actually mention “9/11”. That will show Joe Biden!

  13. 13.

    SmilingPolitely

    August 31, 2008 at 12:17 pm

    Hey, Palin also watched “Red Dawn” TWICE on TBS, so she definitely fucking knows the threat the Ruskies pose, okay?!

  14. 14.

    cleek

    August 31, 2008 at 12:19 pm

    McCain calls her his “soul mate”.

    someone needs to stick that next to a clip of Bush saying he saw Putin’s soul.

  15. 15.

    JR

    August 31, 2008 at 12:20 pm

    Yes. Because Alaska makes its own foreign policy decisions.

    WHAT?

  16. 16.

    DrDave

    August 31, 2008 at 12:24 pm

    I think we are at the point in the debate where the alternate position is now so absurd that they are no longer worth debating.

    Tony P commented at ObWi:

    Palin has more ‘executive experience’ than John McCain.

    So maybe SHE should be at the top of the Republican ticket!

  17. 17.

    PC

    August 31, 2008 at 12:25 pm

    someone needs to stick that next to a clip of Bush saying he saw Putin’s soul.

    No, someone needs to stick that next to the clip of McLecher staring at Palin’s ass while he’s twisting his wedding ring.

  18. 18.

    JGabriel

    August 31, 2008 at 12:26 pm

    I have it on good authority from sources in Very Secret Intelligence Agencies that Osama Bin Laden is actually not in Pakistan, as most people think, but living in a hidden tunnel network on Big Diomede Island.

    If it werent’t for Sarah Palin’s brave stand at Little Diomede, the Aleutian Islands would be toast.

    Plus there are over a million Canadians massed at the Alaska border, pounding their spears in the dirt – just like those Orcs from The Lord of the Rings, except instead grunting they all chant “Eh?”

    It’s enough to chill a man’s blood solid. Well, that, and the fact that’s in Alaska. But Sarah Palin rode in, mounted on top of a helicopter, and shot out all their wolves from under them – even while breastfeeding a Down’s Syndrome baby at the same time.

    .

  19. 19.

    Dennis - SGMM

    August 31, 2008 at 12:26 pm

    Sarah must be a quick study on foreign policy. She didn’t have a passport until 2007.

    Luckily, blissful ignorance about the rest of the world has never kept Republicans from making foreign policy or from starting a war.

  20. 20.

    gbear

    August 31, 2008 at 12:27 pm

    her EXECUTIVE EXPERIENCE is now available to save New Orleans!

    Well that’ll come in handy when it starts snowing in NOLA. Get those salt trucks rolling.

  21. 21.

    PC

    August 31, 2008 at 12:28 pm

    Plus there are over a million Canadians massed at the Alaska border, pounding their spears in the dirt – just like those Orcs from The Lord of the Rings, except instead grunting they all chant “Eh?”

    Fucking win. You are either with us, or you are with the Canuckistanis!

  22. 22.

    DrDave

    August 31, 2008 at 12:30 pm

    McCain calls her his “soul mate”.

    He would know. After all, they met for 15 minutes six months ago. It was lust at first sight. (Wasn’t she 6 months pregnant then???)

  23. 23.

    jake

    August 31, 2008 at 12:35 pm

    It’s not as if she doesn’t understand what’s at stake here.

    I can’t wait to hear the speech: “How I dealt with the Red Menace, Dec. 2006 – Aug. 2008.”

  24. 24.

    Jake

    August 31, 2008 at 12:35 pm

    I know a little something about the moon, since it’s pretty close to the Earth, so maybe NASA will hire me next year for a space mission.

    Actually, maybe they’ll just use me as a backup in case one of the other astronauts gets sick. Yeah, it’s probably best if I don’t hope for too much.

  25. 25.

    jetan

    August 31, 2008 at 12:37 pm

    “Ich bin ein Eskimo”. This whole deal just gets funnier by the hour. Pretty soon they’ll be saying she had a summit meeting with Santa Claus.
    By the way over at the Corner, Rick Brookheiser is at the top of his game today, calling Obama a ” Numinous Negro” and then conjuring up the image of Palin clutching “a Downs baby and an M-16”. Shit like this is why he gets the big bucks while I can barely manage to cling to my guns and religon.

  26. 26.

    dewberry

    August 31, 2008 at 12:38 pm

    What’s our job when they become parodies themselves? I mean, that durn McCain campaign, doing all the work so there’s nothing left for tne snarky bloggers. How dare they! That’s no way to create new economy jobs.

  27. 27.

    SpotWeld

    August 31, 2008 at 12:40 pm

    I wonder what her position on NAFTA is. A huge amount of Alaska’s commerce must be with Canada.

  28. 28.

    PK

    August 31, 2008 at 12:41 pm

    I live about 100 miles from the Whitehouse. Therefore, I have all the experience needed to be president. Jeez! Why didn’t I throw my hat into the ring!

  29. 29.

    smiley

    August 31, 2008 at 12:44 pm

    Has Palin ever been to Russia? How about Iraq, Mexico, Pakistan, China, India, England, japan, France, or even California?

    I read earlier, don’t remember where, that she got her first passport in 2007 so she could (and did) visit AK National Guard troops in Afghanistan. She went to college (B.A. in journalism) at the University of Idaho. So, she’s has been to the lower 48 prior to last week.

  30. 30.

    Jake

    August 31, 2008 at 12:45 pm

    The entire McCain campaign appears to be some kind of test to examine just how stupid the American people are.

    Plouffe said that McCain’s campaign is “a war room masquerading as a presidential campaign.” I think he gave them WAY too much credit.

  31. 31.

    JGabriel

    August 31, 2008 at 12:46 pm

    Vladmir Putin, on why he caved to Palin’s demands at the conclusion of the Russkie-Alaskan War of 2007 (as quoted in The Anchorage Daily News, Vol. 56, Edition 39, 9/14/2007):

    It was the boots, man. I never could say no to a woman in knee-high leather boots. Especially once she threw me to the ground and kicked me in the chest.

    .

  32. 32.

    dricey

    August 31, 2008 at 12:49 pm

    They really do take the American electorate for fools, don’t they?

  33. 33.

    Dennis - SGMM

    August 31, 2008 at 12:49 pm

    I read earlier, don’t remember where, that she got her first passport in 2007 so she could (and did) visit AK National Guard troops in Afghanistan.

    Actually, it was Kuwait.

  34. 34.

    Mark S.

    August 31, 2008 at 12:53 pm

    This is such a stupid talking point, and totally unnecessary. All they have to say is “Well, that’s true, George, but keep in mind that four of our past five presidents were governors who did not have extensive foreign policy experience before becoming president. Gov. Palin is intelligent and deeply committed to the challenges the country faces, blah, blah, blah.” Does anyone in the McCain campaign have a brain?

  35. 35.

    RoonieRoo

    August 31, 2008 at 12:53 pm

    They really do take the American electorate for fools, don’t they?

    Come November, let’s hope we don’t find that they are correct.

  36. 36.

    smiley

    August 31, 2008 at 12:59 pm

    Actually, it was Kuwait.

    Yeah, I was wrong.

    OT: Bobby Jindal is going to be a very formidable opponent after he gets some more experience/age.

  37. 37.

    Eural Joiner

    August 31, 2008 at 1:02 pm

    I think we are at the point in the debate where the alternate position is now so absurd that they are no longer worth debating.

    My thoughts exactly. I’ve spent years “discussing” politics with family and friends who are notoriously right wing and thinking they were really developing ideas and coherent reasoning for the best course of our country.

    Bullshit. They all just threw it waaaaay out the window in order to ramble on incoherently about McCain/Palin. Why? Its the fig leaf cover. They are going to vote the way they vote regardless of any facts, information or behavior on the parts of their candidates. The “dialogue” is all just pretend so they can appear to be responsible, reasoning, concerned citizens.

    And Palin proves it. Case in point – Lindsay Graham saying things out loud a third grader would laugh at and being expected to be taken seriously.

  38. 38.

    aswill

    August 31, 2008 at 1:03 pm

    Does anyone know if a Republican woman, besides Cindy McCain, has been on the circuits recently defending the Palin selection? I know that one of the MSMs spoke with KBH on Friday. Anyone else?

  39. 39.

    junkiebrewster

    August 31, 2008 at 1:06 pm

    I’ve been to Russia multiple times. I can has an ambassadorship?

  40. 40.

    Will Hunting

    August 31, 2008 at 1:07 pm

    More sexism please! We can’t disappoint NoIQ. This thread is severely lacking in that department.

  41. 41.

    The Moar You Know

    August 31, 2008 at 1:08 pm

    RoonieRoo Says:

    They really do take the American electorate for fools, don’t they?

    Come November, let’s hope we don’t find that they are correct.

    All I can say is – George Bush, twice.

    I think the case for America idiocy was made back in 2004.

  42. 42.

    SGEW

    August 31, 2008 at 1:21 pm

    More sexism please!

    Sure.

    All men are disgusting, murderous, raping pigs, who should never be trusted with sharp objects. Or blunt objects, for that matter. Including their you-know-whats. Or national governance.

    Additionally: Women are superior in every possible way, with the exception of being bait for cave bears and saber tooth tigers; a role that suits men admirably. However, seeing as how cave bears and saber tooth tigers are now extinct (thanks to women, most likely), and the possibilities of cloning technology, the usefulness of men will soon be non-existent.

    . . .

    How’s that?

    (joking. partially.)

  43. 43.

    georgia pig

    August 31, 2008 at 1:27 pm

    With McCain’s choice of Palin, I’ve come to realize that this election will definitively answer the question that has been on my mind lately, should I advise my sons to make their futures in Sweden, New Zealand, Canada, etc., and not in the U.S.? Think of it. We now have a choice between (1) a team comprising a true product of our American meritocracy, i.e., our best schools, public service, etc., paired with one of our most experienced experts on foreign policy and (2) a team comprising an old man with a history of impulsiveness and inconstancy whose chief claim to fame is that he had the shit beat out him for 5 years, paired with a woman plucked out of a frigid frontier territory about whom we have no evidence of any aptitude whatsoever. If the voters go for the second team, I will cease to blame Karl Rove and all the other spinmeisters, as they have only been giving the voters what they want and deserve. If that happens, I don’t want them to be able to get their grimy paws on my sons for whatever whacked out fastasies they might pursue.

  44. 44.

    RoonieRoo

    August 31, 2008 at 1:28 pm

    The Moar You Know, that is exactly my same thought. We listened to all the identical conversations in 2004. So many could not possibly believe that people were so ignorant to keep falling for the crap then but they did.

    Hopefully I’m just overly cynical.

  45. 45.

    PeterJ

    August 31, 2008 at 1:31 pm

    I’ve been to Russia multiple times. I can has an ambassadorship?

    Commie

  46. 46.

    w vincentz

    August 31, 2008 at 1:44 pm

    Ahh, the 2004 “election”, when the issue morphed from a discussion of the continuing occupation of Iraq to the swift boat in the Mecong Delta in Vietnam.
    What a relevant topic, and the electorate fell for it, just like they’re falling for the POW (genocider-in-chief) meme, and the unqualified woman from Alaska meme.
    Back to the REAL issues please.

  47. 47.

    grumpy realist

    August 31, 2008 at 1:51 pm

    Well, I guess we know now how the US Empire fell….people got fed up with having to be intelligent and prudent, and decided it would be more fun to decide according to their gut instinct (egged on by the media, of course, which is totally in the tank for McCain.)

    Maybe this is how all empires fall–the dimwits take over.

  48. 48.

    The Moar You Know

    August 31, 2008 at 2:01 pm

    Hopefully I’m just overly cynical.

    I think not.

    If the voters go for the second team, I will cease to blame Karl Rove and all the other spinmeisters, as they have only been giving the voters what they want and deserve.

    That’s where I’ve been at since 2004 – there was no reason for anyone to vote for George Bush. Not one. It was already obvious to anyone with a lick of common sense that the war was a bunch of trumped-up bullshit to satisfy whatever crazed Oedipal issues W had, that Al-Queda was nothing more than a bunch of cave-dwelling fanatics who had gotten lucky once, and that W was a man of staggering incompetence, who was letting his non-incompetent, deeply evil VP run the show.

    But the American public did anyway.

    So I have to conclude that deeply incompetent, inept governance that promises voters what they want with no cost or consequences is what we, the people, want.

    I am hoping that this election, we get the government that we need, and not the government we deserve, but I am not hopeful that will be the case.

  49. 49.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    August 31, 2008 at 2:03 pm

    By the way, John, how many more times do I have to see the smug, stupid, fat faces of John Hindraker and Glenn Reynolds when I come here? If I wanted to see a couple of asses I’d hang out under the bleachers.

  50. 50.

    catatonia

    August 31, 2008 at 2:04 pm

    THUMP, THUMP, THUMP goes the helicopter, as it descends near Smerdikov, Siberia, the location of the first Alaska/Russia summit. Seated on a chair made of the bones of recently interred Gulag victims, Vlad Putin glares at the approaching helicopter with ice-cold eyes that are suddenly … splattered by a most noxious fluid.

    “That’ll teach you to be like Sherman, you evil evolutionist,” a perky voice says above the noise of the descending whirlybird. “And I’ve got plenty more where that came from, and the ability to squirt it farther than the range of a Ruger Varminter, so listen well,” she burbles.

    Putin sits bolt upright, thinking of bolt action and amnio ammo, and for the first time in his life knows fear, as the copter lands and the erstwhile KGB tough shudders as he sees the shiny boot of his adversary protruding out the door, which can only belong to that deadly combination of Doris Day, Annie Oakley, and Phyllis Schlafly, the Pride of the PUMAs … our gal Sarah Palin.

    “I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done,” Putin blubbers. He turns around and drops his pants. “Here, please, set up one of your space interceptor radars here, but please, please, don’t … squirt me anymore!”

    Meanwhile, in a distant condo, Cindy McCain watches the proceedings on Fox and, seething, pops another Percocet. But the pain of being thrown over by her septuagenarian partner, for this backwoods bimbo, doesn’t abate. Bloody-minded, if a bit addled (“that sumbitch I’m married to is rubbing off on me,” she mutters), Cindy picks up the phone and dials the number of a secure, undisclosed location, to contact the only man she knows who would never succumb to Palin’s homey charms …

  51. 51.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    August 31, 2008 at 2:09 pm

    All I can say is – George Bush, twice.

    I think the case for America idiocy was made back in 2004.

    It was not only made, it was closed.

  52. 52.

    The Moar You Know

    August 31, 2008 at 2:17 pm

    catatonia Says:

    \

    MOAR!

    “backwoods bimbo” is epic win.

  53. 53.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    August 31, 2008 at 2:22 pm

    Vlad Putin glares at the approaching helicopter with ice-cold eyes that are suddenly … splattered by a most noxious fluid.

    LOL. Thanks for that )

  54. 54.

    sal

    August 31, 2008 at 2:29 pm

    I live next to Canada, and have in fact been there hundreds of times. I’ve been to Mexico and Barbados, two even more foreign countries. I’ve been to Indian casinos, and they are the land of a sovereign nation. I’ve been to Quebec, which keeps trying to be a foreign country. And if that’s not enough, I’ve been to Texas, which used to be a foreign country.
    But McCain didn’t pick me! How could the Roving Aces on his staff have missed someone with my qualifications?
    Does not bode well for November, my friends.

  55. 55.

    w vincentz

    August 31, 2008 at 2:31 pm

    “backwoods bimbo”…LOL!
    I’m calling the refucklican dream team (mc)Cain and (un)Abel.
    Gosh, she reminds me of Sally Fields as Gidget.
    Props to Catatonia for creativity. I’d laugh if it didn’t come to mind that there are actually ‘Merkins that are taking this ticket seriously and will vote for it in Nov.
    Yikes!

  56. 56.

    jake

    August 31, 2008 at 2:31 pm

    Plouffe said that McCain’s campaign is “a war ^romper room masquerading as a presidential campaign.”

    Fixxled.

  57. 57.

    JGabriel

    August 31, 2008 at 3:51 pm

    Catatonia:

    Cindy picks up the phone and dials the number of a secure, undisclosed location, to contact the only man she knows who would never succumb to Palin’s homey charms …

    Lindsay Graham? Or Charlie Crist?

    .

  58. 58.

    Robert Johnston

    August 31, 2008 at 4:36 pm

    Plouffe said that McCain’s campaign is “a war ^romper room masquerading as a presidential campaign.”

    Fixxled.

    Hardly. In particular, children are curious and learn at a furious pace. And they also have much more self control than McCain.

    McCain’s campaign is is a bunch of coked-up fall-down-drunk mafioso posing as a presidential campaign.

  59. 59.

    TenguPhule

    August 31, 2008 at 5:58 pm

    Today, I love me some AP

    Gov. Sarah Palin was for the infamous “Bridge to Nowhere” before she was against it, a change of position the GOP vice presidential running mate conveniently ignored Saturday when she bragged about telling Congress “thanks but no thanks” to the pork barrel project.

    Mana from heaven.

  60. 60.

    Conservatively Liberal

    August 31, 2008 at 6:23 pm

    Cindy picks up the phone and dials the number of a secure, undisclosed location, to contact the only man she knows who would never succumb to Palin’s homey charms …

    Lindsay Graham? Or Charlie Crist?

    Larry Craig (R – Wide Stance)

  61. 61.

    jake

    August 31, 2008 at 6:32 pm

    I apologize to any children who may have been offended by my previous post. Especially if they have lawyers on retainer.

    Hardly. In particular, children are curious and learn at a furious pace. And they also have much more self ^and bladder control than McCain.

    There. All better.

  62. 62.

    oh really

    August 31, 2008 at 8:23 pm

    Mock Palin if you want to, but I live in Washington State, and I have to tell you the knowledge that Sarah Barracuda stands between me and the Russian Bear is all that allows me to sleep at night.

    John McPOW has made a huge mistake choosing Palin. She will totally eclipse Gramps. Expect her to be Time Ragazine’s next Person of the Year (Eon?).

    I think Obama and Biden should simply admit defeat, pledge their support to Palin, and begin helping her assume the role of Leader of the Planet.

  63. 63.

    oh really

    August 31, 2008 at 8:34 pm

    If the voters go for the second team, I will cease to blame Karl Rove and all the other spinmeisters, as they have only been giving the voters what they want and deserve.

    It’s never been Rove’s fault. It’s always been the American people.

    Even in 2000, the people put Bush close enough to allow the election to be stolen. And don’t forget that the people elected Jeb Bush and allowed him to fix the election in Florida.

    In 2004, the people reelected Bush. Again, even if you subscribe to the stole election theory, the people put Bush close enough to allow theft to take place.

    The American people are not the victims. They’re the perps.

  64. 64.

    OriGuy

    August 31, 2008 at 10:58 pm

    With McCain’s choice of Palin, I’ve come to realize that this election will definitively answer the question that has been on my mind lately, should I advise my sons to make their futures in Sweden, New Zealand, Canada, etc., and not in the U.S.?

    Remember when Obama said everyone should learn a foreign language? Russian may be about to make a comeback.

  65. 65.

    Big E

    September 1, 2008 at 12:23 am

    hell with Alaska bein’ close to the Ruskies…….

    remember…. if you dig straight down you get to……..

    CHINA

  66. 66.

    bago

    September 1, 2008 at 7:40 am

    Big Diomede Island and Little Diomede Islands are about 2 miles apart. One is russian, the other american.

  67. 67.

    Dan

    September 1, 2008 at 9:46 pm

    Seen on another blog:
    Yeah, and I’m a proctologist because I live next to an a**hole.

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