I really can’t describe how much I hate the Cleveland Browns. I know that I hate the recent Ravens teams more, and that is in large part because the Ravens were the Browns and Ray Lewis and the rest of those crooks , but still to this day, I have a visceral hatred of the Browns. It comes from the gut.
When I see someone wearing a Browns jersey or a Browns cap walking down the street, I will cross the road so I don’t have to go near them. When I see someone wearing a Browns jersey or a Browns cap, the first thing I think is that they must be stupid. There is something wrong with Browns fans.
I was at the last Browns/Steelers game on a Monday night at Three River Stadium in 1995 before Art Modell moved them to Baltimore. I remember before the game, there were lots of folks in the parking lot from Cleveland, and they wanted us to show solidarity with the Steelers and turn our back on the field to show solidarity with the Browns. It sounded like a good idea when it was suggested, and who couldn’t help but feel a bit sorry for them- they were having their team stolen. Besides, half of being a Steelers fan is hating on the Browns. Modell was stealing from me, too.
And then I went into the game, and I saw those shit brown uniforms with orange helmets and the old familiar hate bubbled up and when it was time to show my solidarity with them the only thing I could think was:
“Screw the Browns. Screw their fans. Screw their shitty, dirty, little city. Couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of people.”
True story, although I may not have said “screw.” I feel the same way tonight. GO STILLERS!
*** Update ***
Ok, people. I really don’t hate Browns fans, this was what is known as game-day trash talking. I really don’t hate the city, I don’t cross the street, etc. Jeebus.
Although I will tell you who I do hate. The Eagles. I hate their fans. I hate the city. I hate everything about them.
Jon
It’s a two-way thing: Fuck the Steelers. We still have more world championships. And at least we both hate the Ravens.
Napoleon
I have been waiting for this thread.
GO BROWNS!!
By the way, the wind is about 40 mph outside my house or something like that right now and I hope a tree does not end up on my house. I would not be surprised that there is not a pass the entire game.
HyperIon
well, at least you don’t think they are pure human filth.
mr. cole, you are a person of very strongly held opinions.
Jim
Jim Brown was my first football hero, and I’ve always been a Browns fan (second only to the Bills). The Steelers sucked for much of the 60s, and I have never liked them. So, despite my fondness for this website, GO BROWNS, fuck the Steelers.
Jon
And just to show you how historically the Browns dominated the series: it took our shit teams of expansion for the Steelers to finally go up on us. We have won one game against the Steelers since coming back to the league in 1999 (I think we are 1-15 or something), and Steelers are still only 2 games up on us historically.
zoe from pittsburgh
Yeah, well, just be happy you didn’t have my childhood.
My mother was from Pittsburgh, my dad from Cleveland, I grew up in Pittsburgh. Whenever the Stillers played the Browns one family traveled to the other’s city– and mass chaos almost always insued. Waaay too much football fever + lots of bad beer = drunken, angry fighting.
The cops were called once because my dad’s crazy Browns-backer family nearly got in a fistfight with the neighbors. Why? Because my brilliant, drunken Cleveland aunt got hold of a roll of shelfpaper and wrote “Steelers Suck, Browns Rule” (or some early 80s equivalent) and taped it between the trees in front of our house.
Only recently have I come to like football enough to watch it. My family seriously ruined it for me as a kid.
Rob
I don’t get it. I’m a big Steelers fan myself but I could never bring myself to hate the Browns because they’re so freakin’ harmless. (I suppose if I were a Browns fan, that would be even worse, to be deemed so bad so as to be not even worth your opponents’ contempt).
Besides, neither the Browns nor their fans have ever displayed the kind of hubris that I really, really despise ala Dallas Cowboys or the jump on the bandwagon mentality of Patriots fans who are now suddenly “diehard” fans after a near decade of dominance.
Say what you will about the Browns, win or lose, their fans have always been there. Considering how much losing they’ve done (especially to the Steelers), that’s saying a lot.
Stuck in the Fun House
Your comment was so good, Jon, I quoted both of them. And as a loyal, though perpetually disappointed Browns fan, I second your sentiments as a now hated BJ commenter. GO Brownies!
zuzu's petals
More on the anti-Palin rally in Anchorage (w/video):
I think it’s been mentioned before, but “Mudflats” seems like an excellent source of inside info on Alaska goin’s on.
Jim Morrison
I guess John’s besmirchment of the Browns and their fans got me rattled. Didn’t mean to blockquote the thread post too.
Jon Wiesman
This post won’t help us in Ohio.
Stuck in the Fun House
Somebody stole my brain.
Chuck Butcher
I grew up with the Browns, Jim Brown, Frank Ryan and they were a hard working hard playing team, managing to be both chamionship teams and losers without wearing either as a flag. I hope they kick Pitt’s ass. (from distant NE OR)
dslak
As a Steelers fan from Oklahoma, my hatred has always been reserved for the Cowboys. What happened to all of the Cowboys’ fans, anyway? I thought they were America’s Team!
Doug
I’m from Indiana, but went to college in Ohio and fell in with the wrong group of guys. One thing led to another, and before I knew it, I was a drunk and a Brown’s fan. That continued until Modell waltzed off with the Browns. I was back in Indiana, and started rooting for the Colts. That sure saved me a lot of pain. Now I hate the Patriots the way the Browns always hated the Steelers. I continue to enjoy watching the Bengals lose, however.
LiberalTarian
Hate hate hate. Since you turned left John, all you do is hate. ;)
John Cole
BTW- Hugh Hewitt is a huge Browns fan.
The prosecution rests.
Blue Buddha
C’mon John, tell us how you really feel! :P
I don’t care much for football, but my brother’s always been a rabid Steelers fan.
GO STEELERS!
dslak
Certainly that is worse than even they deserve.
The Grand Panjandrum
Jesus! Pittsburgh still has an NFL franchise? But I am a Giants fan so I get to trash talk until they get beat by the intramural team from San Francisco.
Napoleon
GO STEELERS!!
Blue Buddha
Ah yes, the Bengals… the comic relief of the NFL. I used to live in Dayton, which is about an hour north of Cincy, and while there were plenty of Browns, Steelers, Packers and Ohio State fans, there were absolutely no Bengals fans.
BTW, didn’t the whole team get arrested at various times throughout an entire season a few years ago?
Just Some Fuckhead
Growing up a Steelers fan, I never had any animus for the other teams in the div. In fact, I liked them more than the rest of the teams in the NFL. Who could hate the Bengals, the Oilers or even the Browns, with Kosar struggled mightily and losing to the Elway machine? If the Steelers couldn’t win it all, I wanted to see the Central do it.
And I always considered assholes pounding on Ray Lewis to be exhibiting underlying racist tendencies. After all, he only lied to the cops to protect his friend and he was charged with that and cleared of any other charges. And yet, I’ve got reactionary white friends who continue to this day to call him a murderer.
Meanwhile, when white guys in the NFl get in trouble, like the Green Bay tight end that fucked the underaged babysitter around the same time Ray Lewis got in trouble, we just let the justice system do it’s job and move along. Only black folks have to carry the stigma.
Stuck in the Fun House
I’ll call your Hewitt and raise one Limbaugh (rabid Steelers Fan). Court’s still in session.
Napoleon
OK, with that in mind back to GO BROWNS!!
The Grand Panjandrum
I hate Jessica Simpson’s favorite team.
Jon
Wow. You just saved us on that one. I think the two douche-bags cancel each other out.
RetzQ
Awww, c’mon, John. Crossing the street? One of those Browns fans could be your relative! I’ve always liked the city of Pittsburgh, it’s quite pretty and more scenic than most of Cleveland, but we do have a gorgeous lake shore. Besides, we Browns & Tribe fans are just as loyal as you guys. Cut us some slack.
You can’t mention Art Modell (or George Steinbrenner) in Cleveland without someone spitting on the sidewalk at his name. Ptuey! We also hate the Yankees, and you gotta give us something for that.
Heck, Pittsburgh and Cleveland are kissin’ cousins. One day in my lifetime I hope to see at least one of my teams with the Big One.
At least we’re not the Minnesota Vikings or the Florida Marlins.
Snark Based Reality
When I see someone wearing a Obama pin or shirt walking down the street, I will cross the road so I don’t have to go near them. When I see someone wearing a Obama shirt, the first thing I think is that they must be stupid. There is something wrong with Obama supporters.
John Cole
My relatives can all read and write, so I doubt it.
Jon
And Roethlisberger just got kicked in the face. Nice.
Napoleon
So game time hits and basically the heavy wind stops (at least at my house).
Jay
Oh, and Brady Quinn is a raging homophobe. Go Pats.
Bostondreams
Um, yeah, Go Patriots. Jets suck.
:D
Third Eye Open
Anyone taking bets on how many games the Dolphins are going to win this season?
I am putting my money on two wins, thats double last season!
I can almost see that number-one draft pick in the teal and orange.
/crying on the inside
CaseyL
*sniffle* I miss the days when I was a rabid football fan, and hated on teams that played against mine. My football love comes and goes: some years, I watch every game and know every player, every play, and our odds for making the playoffs. Other years, I don’t even know who played in the Super Bowl, much less who won.
I think it’s a consequence of being in Seattle. Ever since Ken “Even Slimier Than Al Davis” Behring almost stole the team locker, socks and padding, the ‘Hawks have pretty much sucked. I admit it right up front: I’m a fair weather fan. I don’t insist on championships every year, but unending mediocrity just doesn’t make me wanna stand up and scream myself hoarse. We’ve been to the Super Bowl once, and lost; and have won maybe 3 division championships. over, what, the last 15 years? Blah. Even Ground Chuck was better than that.
flounder
I just watched the Broncos get spotted 2 touchdowns by the refs (they rule a fumble by Jay Cutler instead of an incomplete pass–yet they rule the play was dead the second the ball touched the ground–can someone explain that to me?). If I see a Denver fan anytime in the next couple days I may just punch them right in the face.
Have fun with your little Eastern elite game.
Charlie
Important to note that the Rooneys, Franco Harris and (former Republican) Jerome Bettis are all strong Obama supporters.
Incertus
I’m that way with the Atlanta Falcons–comes from being a long-suffering Saints fan. And I’m getting that way with Tampa.
Napoleon
Really?
Frank Sobotka
Serious question: If I just gave up on the Jets and moved on to another team, would people judge me harshly? Or would you just understand?
Just Some Fuckhead
Most folks would prolly wonder why it took you so long. It’s not like they started losing today.
Svensker
Jets fan here. Answers? No. Yes.
Charlie
Napoleon – Bettis gave $2k to Bush in ’04. It made rooting for him very difficult for a couple of years.
Jeff
Detroit Lions fans don’t have to hate other teams. We hate our own team. This includes a hatred of the owner, the general manager, the coach, and each and every player.
uila
That’s right people, channel the aggression… you’ll need these socially acceptable outlets in 2 months after the GOP pulls off Voter Suppression 2008 Edition
FWIW, my brother-in-law recently brought home a new girlfriend to meet the family on Clemson’s season opener, eventually it comes out she’s from Columbia (USC), which ultimately leads to my orange-wigged father-in-law drunkenly calling her a [Game]cock-loving bitch
The Other Steve
Wow. I just can’t imagine caring so much about something so unimportant.
Jim
A mind is a terrible thing to waste
vaux-rien
I’d rather watch fishing on TV than football but the Browns baseball cap with a football helmet on it is my favorite use of a sports trademark ever. The Steelers use someone else’s corporate logo so from the only perspective where I have any interest in football the Browns are way better.
joe from Lowell
That’s beautiful, man. I’m tearing up over here.
Napoleon
And in reality I have always liked the Steelers I hate to hear that about him,
joe from Lowell
Did you see Adalus Thomas sack 2 guys at the same time?
And one of them was Brett Favre!
What we really need is a “Things Older Than Brett Favre” web site.
frosty
So we have a bunch of fans wailing that Modell took the Browns to Baltimore. And one of youse is a Colts fan. Nobody remembers the Mayflower vans in the middle of the night in 1984? The Irsay move that started the game of musical chairs with the NFL team that gave the league their start in 1958?
Gimme a break, here.
joshua
Someone should post something at Red State with the headline CONSERVATIVE TURNCOAT AND OBAMA SUPPORTER JOHN COLE ADMITS TO CROSSING THE STREET WHEN APPROACHED BY BROWNS PEOPLE! and a link to this post without comment just to see what kind of outrage it would stir up among people who don’t read the articles.
t jasper parnell
Granted it is not nearly so important as hating on various towns and teams that, when you get right down to it, never did anything to anybody, but:
And, of course, we all like Ike:
NYT front page the day, as it were, that the music died.
Punchy
OT:
Y’all should check out Calculatedrisk.com. Shit’s about to blow up tomorry due to Lehman, BoA’s ridiculous offer for ML, and a bunch of gov’t handout bullshit.
Market gunna TANK tomorrow. We phucked.
The Moar You Know
I’m a Niners fan. My life was a thing of beauty and grace once, and is now an unrelenting hellscape of horror and humiliation.
Kevin
Aye, I know what you mean, I’ve been a lifelong Niners fan too, today notwithstanding, it’s been a sad, sad spectacle watching that team.
Kit Smith
I shook Art Modell’s hand the day before he announced he was moving the team to Baltimore as I told him how much the Browns meant to me and how I was glad he was there for us. I almost cut my right hand off that week.
Fuck the Steelers, though they managed to play better today. And fuck the Ravens, too. I’m not so harsh on Cincy, but that’s because they occasionally provide comic relief for the rest of us in the AFC North.
Brett
I feel very, very sorry for you Niners fans. Truly, you had a fall from grace and glory.
As for me, well, Salt Lake City has yet to get a Professional Football Team, so I can be a neutral party on All Things NFL. Not on college ball, though; the goddamn Utes better win another fucking BCS Bowl in the near-future.
Bupalos
Let’s face it. Something on the order of 75% of football fans in both Cleveland and Pittsburgh are sick disgusting losers. But when you objectively analyze the two organizations themselves, the Browns are certainly more appealing.
First, the Steelers are second only to the Raiders in embracing the nastiest natural impulses of the NFL, best summed up in the simplification that they wish to cheat and win by injuring their opponents. They deliberately cultivate this reputation as an attempt to cow their opponents. They are one of the teams I note most often with players celebrating on an opponents long gain or first down, because they have delivered a painful hit or caused a concussion or some such. In a sport without morals, they still manage to be morally wicked. Even their wideouts are known for this kind of mentality, looking for blindsides, cheapshots, and invariable trash talk even on interceptions.
The Browns are basically loveable losers, with the twist that they have actually mostly had good teams (before the expansion thing) and done well… but they are snakebit by angry gods. They do now seem to be badly coached. The game tonight was a coaching loss pure and simple.
Big E
FLYERS
EAGLES
’nuff said
tim
Man, John, that ridiculous diatribe is some of the most stupid shit I have read on your blog, and that’s a lot of stupid shit.
I like football, but psycho fanboy blather like this is really, um…dumb. Get a life and something real to hate on, like your old buddies in the GOP.
Shouting at the Rain
The Colts leaving Mobtown. The Mayflower vans. The snow. The pictures of Arty Donovan crying in his liquor store. Chuck Thompson was never the same after that. Reah Feikin for God’s sake
Fuck the Colts. I’m for whoever they’re playing that week. Unless it’s the Cowboys. Then I just don’t care.
Kevin
BWHAHAHAHA! Does Bobby Clarke have pictures of you with a goat, or Mickey Kaus, or something?
I can kinda understand this one. I know some people associated with the team, and they seem like good guys. The city, on the other hand, is, well..
LiberalTarian
Methinks Punchy meant this CalculatedRisk.
Man. Was it just me or was here like 24 hours without server problems? You know, John, you do know liberal techie types now. No need to Red State-esque your crashing anymore.
Sorry. :( I was trying to post the CalcRisk link (cuz Punchy’s right, tomorrow is going to be a hell of a day).
Kevin
It was just you.
zuzu's petals
Just made a donation to Planned Parenthood Action Fund to help them get this killer ad out:
McCain Distorts Obama’s Record on Sex Ed
Frank Sobotka
The Colts leaving Baltimore for Indianapolis — in the great scheme of things, isn’t that basically a wash? They certainly would have gotten a better stadium in Baltimore as part of the Inner Harbor revival.
But hey, that new stadium of theirs has obstructed sightlines! How quaint!
Roza Hussein
Ha the Clowns go down to defeat again…(who’d a thunk it)
yeah Stillers
dan robinson
You need therapy, John. The NFL is a multibillion dollar business. Why do you care so much for the goings on of this one business. You are an addict.
Get therapy. Kick the habit.
DrDave
I am a Giants’ fan who lives in the Philly ‘burbs. (Grew up in NY, moved here 15 years ago.) On point one (FLYERS) let me just say: BOBBY NYSTROM!
On point 2 let me say: RICKY WILLIAMS!
The Eagles have built a very good organization. Their owner bought the team and thought he could run it like a fantasy football team (cf. the Washington Redskins) but he learned quickly that the NFL isn’t fantasy football. So he hired good football people and built a solid organization. They drafted Donovan McNabb when idiot Eagles fans wanted Ricky Williams. McNabb has taken them to four NFC championship games and one Super Bowl. And Philly fans still piss and moan. (When I hear them whine about wanting to trade McNabb, I just smile. How could such rabid fans be SOOOO STOOPID?)
Philly fans should appreciate what Jeff Lurie has built for them. One day you might even deserve it.
libarbarian
I give it up to my n****z from C-town,
where everyday n****z get beat-down.
Sarcastro
I’m that way with the Atlanta Falcons—comes from being a long-suffering Saints fan. And I’m getting that way with Tampa.
As a Falcons fan I’ve never figured out who to hate. Meh, pro ball usually doesn’t inspire enough disdain for me. Nothing like the pure, unadulterated, white-hot hatred I, as a Vols fan, feel for Alabama.
Of course, as a Vols fan I usually end my season with a pure, unadulterated, white-hot hatred for Phil “Fat, ignorant red-neck” Fulmer.
Nazgul35
You can’t hate on the Iggles until after the beat up on Dallas…home state team loyalties after all!!!
alyosha
John, It’s clear to me you’ve spent some serious time in or near Pittsburgh. I’m with you – Browns suck, but those Eagles across the state – screw them. Go Steelers!
DrDave
You have anger management issues, John. 8>)
But I understand. When we were moving here in the early 90’s, we came down in March or April to look for an apartment. That was the first time I ever heard Philly sports talk. There was all this good stuff going on in the sports world: March Madness, basketball and hockey playoffs, spring training. What were they talking about? How Ritchie Kotite was the worst football coach ever. I am sure that these are the same unsophisticated idiots who wanted Williams over McNabb and who have no appreciation for the accomplishments of their home team.
I don’t hate the Eagles–and I’d love to have Westbrook on my team–but many of their fans are clueless and belligerent.
Cris
Jesus, man, can you change the station? I’ve had a rough night, and I hate the fuckin’ Eagles.
Katie
I live in Philly, John Cole, so you don’t hate EVERYONE from there! (At least, I don’t think you hate me).