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You are here: Home / Who Would Jesus Torture?

Who Would Jesus Torture?

by Michael D.|  September 18, 20082:40 pm| 29 Comments

This post is in: Assholes

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Christian evangelicals in the south loves ’em some waterboarding and thumbscrews!!. I live in the South. Thankfully, in Atlanta, which is pretty much completely different than the rest of the bunch – at least in Atlanta proper.

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29Comments

  1. 1.

    cleek

    September 18, 2008 at 2:44 pm

    Jesus was tortured. and if it’s good enough for Jesus, it outta be good enough for Mohammad Q Jihadi!

  2. 2.

    Michael D.

    September 18, 2008 at 2:45 pm

    Jesus didn’t exist. So, by extension, he couldn’t have been tortured.

  3. 3.

    Ned Beatty

    September 18, 2008 at 2:46 pm

    Queue up the “Dueling Banjos”

  4. 4.

    Xanthippas

    September 18, 2008 at 2:46 pm

    I’m particularly impressed by the 28% who believe their beliefs on the permissibility of torture are derived from the Bible or their Christian teachings. Jesus might want to correct some of his followers when he meets them face to face (not that it’ll do us any good of course.)

  5. 5.

    LiberalTarian

    September 18, 2008 at 2:53 pm

    Those people are no followers of Christ. They are christianists, and the two should not be confused.

    They revel in the suffering of others and follow false prophets. If I were them, I wouldn’t be in such a hurry for the rapture.

  6. 6.

    eglenn

    September 18, 2008 at 2:54 pm

    Smyrna (northern Atlanta suburb), not so much. 5 McCain signs on my street alone. [sigh]

  7. 7.

    r€nato

    September 18, 2008 at 2:55 pm

    I look forward to more lectures from christianists about how atheists are, by definition, immoral and how atheism led to communism and Nazism.

  8. 8.

    SGEW

    September 18, 2008 at 2:57 pm

    Yeah, I’ve been seeing this trend for quite a while now (anyone remember that whole snuff film “The Passion of Mel Gibson’s Nipples,” or whatever it was called?). Cue 24. Heat up with the recent torture-porn films. Mix with apocalyptic old time religion and new-age “invisible war” nonsense. Voila! Torture supporters.

    (I have a private wager with a friend as to when we’ll see self-flagellation hit small town America – I’ve already won the witch-hunting bet recently).

    These people are anti-American, and a danger to the Republic.

    There. I’ve said it.

  9. 9.

    David in NYC

    September 18, 2008 at 2:57 pm

    The poll … found that 57% of [white Christian evangelicals] said torture can be often or sometimes justified …

    [snip]

    The findings of this poll … compared to a Pew Research Center poll from February that found that 48% of the general public think torture can be justified.

    So, apparently, being a white Xtian evangelical TEACHES you to like torture.

    Who would Jesus torture, indeed?

  10. 10.

    r€nato

    September 18, 2008 at 2:59 pm

    These people are anti-American, and a danger to the Republic.

    of course they are. They want a theocracy.

  11. 11.

    pharniel

    September 18, 2008 at 3:00 pm

    jesus would have totally tortured those sinners, and they would have had it comming.

  12. 12.

    SGEW

    September 18, 2008 at 3:42 pm

    Who Would Jesus Torture?

    South Park is more relevant now then ever before:

    Mel Gibson Loves Torture

    Ah. That’s th’ stuff.

  13. 13.

    Brachiator

    September 18, 2008 at 3:53 pm

    Michael D. Says:
    Jesus didn’t exist. So, by extension, he couldn’t have been tortured.

    Huh? Jesus probably existed. Whether he was divine — as opposed to merely fabulous — is another question altogether.

    I am one of those people who admired The Passion of the Christ (even though I am furiously agnostic). But I could never understand how committed Christians could talk about how moved they were by the images of Jesus being tortured and yet go on to defend the shameful way that the Bush Administration has condoned torture.

    But of course, you had the Republicans at their convention refusing even to use the word “torture” in describing McCain’s war prisoner ordeal but at the same time putting him on a pedestal for enduring years of brutality.

    By the way, I will even give Christian mythology credit here. Unlike many of the frauds who came later and infect other religions, who want their followers to keep them plied with goodies, one message of early Christianity has Jesus saying to his followers: You will be tortured and persecuted for believing in me. But not only am I going to suffer for you, I will give myself to suffer alongside you.

    How ironic, then, that people who call themselves Christian have become the enablers of sadists and torturers.

    And Bush is a modern Pontius Pilate, seeking to wash his hands of responsibility by claiming that he is doing what he is doing in the name of national security.

  14. 14.

    SGEW

    September 18, 2008 at 4:01 pm

    How ironic, then, that people who call themselves Christian have become the enablers of sadists and torturers.

    Sadly, this is an old, old story with Christianity. The terrible historical details are well known, and too depressing to list here.

    Same old, same old.

    (And the sincere answer they would give to the “who would Jesus torture” question: Jesus would torture Jews, Muslims, Pagans and Unbelievers. Duh.)

  15. 15.

    Brachiator

    September 18, 2008 at 5:31 pm

    SGEW Says:
    How ironic, then, that people who call themselves Christian have become the enablers of sadists and torturers.
    Sadly, this is an old, old story with Christianity religion.

    Fixed. This is sadly a feature, not a bug, in most religions.

  16. 16.

    r€nato

    September 18, 2008 at 5:38 pm

    torture is bad when they do it because they are infidels.

    torture is ok when we do it because jeebus is on our side.

    what a shame we still have to listen to this shit in the 21st century.

  17. 17.

    Mylegacy

    September 18, 2008 at 5:38 pm

    Would Jesus torture? Don’t see why not, he’s a follower of god-zilla.

    Think about this, Jews, Muslims and Christians, the people of the “Book” believe that a god, created the universe, made us in his image, and then, in just one example of his personally explicit crimes, he purposely drowned everyone, except for the few that fit in a 40-cubit boat. The god they believe in, from their own “Book,” is a self-confessed homicidal mass murderer!

    What is so alarming, is not that these deluded people believe this nonsense, but that they worship the homicidal mass murderer that did all this, and countless more murders; they worship him and look forward to spending eternity with this nutcase.

    And they wonder why “normal” people think Christians, Jews and Muslims are “nutcases.”

  18. 18.

    Delia

    September 18, 2008 at 5:48 pm

    Fixed. This is sadly a feature, not a bug, in most religions people, religious or not, especially when they start getting fanatical about whatever it is they’re up to.

    Fixed again.

  19. 19.

    Xenos

    September 18, 2008 at 6:08 pm

    of course they are. They want a theocracy.

    The term you are looking for is “Domestic Enemy of the Constitution.”

    Among many other weighty objections to the Measure, it has been suggested, that it has a tendency to introduce religious disputes into the Army, which above all things should be avoided, and in many instances would compel men to a mode of Worship which they do not profess.
    — George Washington, to John Hancock, then president of Congress, expressing opposition to a congressional plan to appoint brigade chaplains in the Continental Army (1777), quoted from a letter to Cliff Walker from Doug Harper (2002)

    Why did Washington hate America?

  20. 20.

    SGEW

    September 18, 2008 at 6:32 pm

    Speaking of George W. (tha Original, y’all):

    “Treat [prisoners of war] with humanity, and let them have no reason to complain of our copying the brutal example of the British Army in their treatment of our unfortunate brethren who have fallen into their hands.”

    – Gen. George Washington, January 8, 1777.

  21. 21.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    September 18, 2008 at 6:55 pm

    I’m shocked–shocked, I say!–that followers of a god that killed the children of Egypt to punish its king, that destroyed the entire city of Sodom to punish some of its residents, and sent his only son to Earth for the express purpos of dying a horrible death, should find torture acceptable.

  22. 22.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    September 18, 2008 at 7:01 pm

    Why did Washington hate America?

    You mean George “America is not a christian nation” Washington?

    This is sadly a feature, not a bug, in most people, religious or not

    Oh please. You see anyone running around Sweden advocating torture?

  23. 23.

    Blue Buddha

    September 18, 2008 at 7:40 pm

    Thankfully, in Atlanta, which is pretty much completely different than the rest of the bunch – at least in Atlanta proper.

    My parents moved to Atlanta in the early 90’s, and as my mother puts it: Atlanta is a nice cultural and cosmopolitan city… unfortunately, it’s surrounded by Georgia.

    And yeah, inside the Perimeter is a much different world than outside the Perimeter.

  24. 24.

    Xenos

    September 18, 2008 at 7:52 pm

    Oh please. You see anyone running around Sweden advocating torture?

    Ever sat through a Swedenborgian sermon? There is no need to torture other people.

  25. 25.

    Bootlegger

    September 18, 2008 at 7:58 pm

    I’m shocked—shocked, I say!—that followers of a god that killed the children of Egypt to punish its king, that destroyed the entire city of Sodom to punish some of its residents, and sent his only son to Earth for the express purpos of dying a horrible death, should find torture acceptable.

    Let us not forget more recent examples where their god took out New Orleans because of teh gays and let the terrorists succeed because of our general sinfulness. If this is their god I think we need a weapon to take the damned thing out. It keeps slaughtering people, these people keep worshipping it, and its about time we put a stop to the damned thing! Any suggestions on how we destroy the god of the Christ Death Cult? Not easy if it’s omnipotent, but if Picard can handle the Q then certainly Americans can stand up to the greatest existential threat in our history!

  26. 26.

    Brachiator

    September 19, 2008 at 1:06 am

    Notorious P.A.T. Says:

    This is sadly a feature, not a bug, in most people, religious or not

    Oh please. You see anyone running around Sweden advocating torture?

    BBC News, May 21, 2005

    Sweden has been found guilty of violating the international convention against torture for deporting a terror suspect to Egypt.

    The UN’s committee against torture said Sweden should have known that Egypt consistently tortured detainees.

    At the time, the Swedish government said it had been given assurances that Ahmed Agiza would be treated fairly.

    Correspondents say the ruling is a blow to Sweden which prides itself on its human rights record.

    The UN said Sweden breached its duties when it extradited asylum seeker Agiza in December 2001.

    Agiza, a former member of Islamic Jihad, was sentenced in his absence to 25 years in jail in 1998.

    He applied for asylum in Sweden three years later but was turned down on security grounds.

    He was handed over to US authorities who chained and hooded him and flew him to jail in Egypt.

    Agiza’s family claim he was subject to electric shock treatment and other abuses in the first weeks after being placed in Egyptian custody.

    There are few things more despicable than a people who preach human rights, and then enter into backroom deals to deliver people to their torturers.

    And of course, back in the day, the Swedes — as Norsemen — engaged in rape, looting, torture and pillage just for grins and giggles. It is amazing, though, how they worked most of this out of their system.

    Sweden went from this:

    The 17th century saw Sweden engaged in many wars, for example with the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth with both sides competing for territories of today’s Baltic states, with the disastrous Battle of Kircholm being one of the highlights.

    To this:

    The last war in which Sweden was directly involved was in 1814, when Sweden by military means forced Norway into a personal union with Sweden, a union which lasted until 1905. Since 1814, Sweden has been at peace, adopting a non-aligned foreign policy in peacetime and neutrality in wartime.

    Maybe there is yet hope for us all.

  27. 27.

    Shaggy

    September 19, 2008 at 1:15 am

    Michael, I live about a little east of you.

    The guy who lives across the street doesn’t even put out a recycling bin. Isn’t shrugging your shoulders at torture the next logical step?

  28. 28.

    Shaggy

    September 19, 2008 at 1:15 am

    Michael, I live a little east of you.

    The guy who lives across the street doesn’t even put out a recycling bin. Isn’t shrugging your shoulders at torture the next logical step?

  29. 29.

    gocart mozart

    September 19, 2008 at 6:38 am

    “He was handed over to US authorities who chained and hooded him and flew him to jail in Egypt.”

    Brachiator, are you saying that trusted the Bush administration is now officially a human rights violation?

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