• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

Consistently wrong since 2002

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

Come on, man.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

I was promised a recession.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

A Senator Walker would also be an insult to reason, rationality, and decency.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

Meanwhile over at truth Social, the former president is busy confessing to crimes.

Being the leader of the world means to be the leader of peace.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

Mobile Menu

  • Winnable House Races
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Balloon Juice 2023 Pet Calendar (coming soon)
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • War in Ukraine
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • 2021-22 Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Past Elections / Election 2008 / Oh, Dear Jesus. No Wonder They Banned Short Selling Temporarily

Oh, Dear Jesus. No Wonder They Banned Short Selling Temporarily

by John Cole|  September 24, 20085:11 pm| 57 Comments

This post is in: Election 2008, Did You Know John McCain Was A POW?, Republican Crime Syndicate - aka the Bush Admin.

FacebookTweetEmail

No good can come from this:

President Bush will address the country on Wednesday night in hopes of bolstering public, and hence political, support for the economic recovery plan, one on which the administration is now willing to make a major concession on executive pay.

Watch the overseas markets nose dive.

Meanwhile, David Letterman recognizes flop sweat when he sees it:

David Letterman tells audience that McCain called him today to tell him he had to rush back to DC to deal with the economy.

Then in the middle of the taping Dave got word that McCain was, in fact just down the street being interviewed by Katie Couric. Dave even cut over to the live video of the interview, and said, “Hey Senator, can I give you a ride home?”

Earlier in the show, Dave kept saying, “You don’t suspend your campaign. This doesn’t smell right. This isn’t the way a tested hero behaves.” And he joked: “I think someone’s putting something in his metamucil.”

“He can’t run the campaign because the economy is cratering? Fine, put in your second string quarterback, Sara Palin. Where is she?”

“What are you going to do if you’re elected and things get tough? Suspend being president? We’ve got a guy like that now!”

Fail.

*** Update ***

That settles it. Lou Dobbs thinks this was a genius move by McCain, which assures it is full of fail.

*** Update #2 ***

More fail:

In suspending his campaign to address the continuing financial crisis, John McCain’s campaign is pushing the theme of “having both parties come together to solve this problem,” according to campaign talking points inadvertently released Wednesday.

***

The talking points were accidentally sent out to members of the Colorado press early Wednesday afternoon by McCain spokesperson Tom Kise.L

LOL.

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « Of Course He Did
Next Post: The Latest Spin »

Reader Interactions

57Comments

  1. 1.

    Doug H. (Fausto no more)

    September 24, 2008 at 5:15 pm

    Best. Election. Ever.

  2. 2.

    Comrade Snark Based Reality

    September 24, 2008 at 5:15 pm

    All aboard the fail train.

    Jesus what a joke.

  3. 3.

    Comrade Dreggas

    September 24, 2008 at 5:15 pm

    He was also meeting with Lady Lynn de Rothschild

  4. 4.

    donovong

    September 24, 2008 at 5:15 pm

    My initial reaction was to go, “Oh shit, McBush just made a genius play!” I figured every undecided fuck will see this as real “Country First” or some such bullshit. Maybe I was wrong?

  5. 5.

    Ted

    September 24, 2008 at 5:16 pm

    That story about Letterman is going to be hilarious.

    Man, Rick Davis is running a Bob Shrum-worthy campaign, that’s for sure.

  6. 6.

    Comrade Dreggas

    September 24, 2008 at 5:18 pm

    Even K-Lo thinks Obama sounds “Reasonable” compared to McCain…

  7. 7.

    Ted

    September 24, 2008 at 5:18 pm

    My initial reaction was to go, “Oh shit, McBush just made a genius play!” I figured every undecided fuck will see this as real “Country First” or some such bullshit. Maybe I was wrong?

    Well, they’ll probably mostly see through it as a gimmick, since that’s the narrative about it that already seems to be solidifying among the bobble-heads.

  8. 8.

    KXB

    September 24, 2008 at 5:18 pm

    It’s one thing if CNN or MSNBC get on McCain’s case – his partisans can simply write that off to the “liberal media”. But when Letterman bitch-slaps you, you fucked up.

  9. 9.

    Rick Massimo

    September 24, 2008 at 5:22 pm

    I really think we should “suspend” watching Bush talk. After all, this is a serious crisis, and we can’t get distracted by petty, meaningless things.

  10. 10.

    D-Chance.

    September 24, 2008 at 5:23 pm

    Wonder how heavily Letterman will be edited… because if they go with all of the Drudge flash, it’s going to be brutal.

  11. 11.

    R. Porrofatto

    September 24, 2008 at 5:23 pm

    I hope Mr. 17% Approval On The Economy will have Colin Powell open his presentation tonight with a scary slide show of bread-lines, soup kitchens, and suicides, or maybe a Ken Burns-style Depression video with Studs Terkel and Jim Baker doing voiceovers.

  12. 12.

    Walker

    September 24, 2008 at 5:24 pm

    But when Letterman bitch-slaps you, you fucked up.

    Have you not seen Letterman attack O’Reilly? To neocons, Letterman is far left.

  13. 13.

    PC

    September 24, 2008 at 5:25 pm

    This is going to be fun: SARAH PALIN LOVER REVEALED!

    Pic related.

  14. 14.

    Comrade Krista

    September 24, 2008 at 5:25 pm

    donovong, my reaction was the same, that people would think that McCain was being mature and putting partisan politics aside in a time of crisis, but I’m beyond delighted to be wrong.

    And the Letterman thing is full of win. Sadly, a large number of people don’t follow politics or the news. However, a LOT of people watch Letterman. So, if McCain can continue jumping the gun while Obama takes it cool and steady, we might just have reason to start hoping again.

  15. 15.

    Comrade Dreggas

    September 24, 2008 at 5:25 pm

    The CW is set on this one now. McCain pulled a political stunt and it’s back-firing. If I didn’t loathe the fucker so much I might be inclined to have pity but he made his bed he can rot in it.

  16. 16.

    Comrade Dreggas

    September 24, 2008 at 5:35 pm

    Now they want to postpone the VP debate indefinitely and have the debate set for friday, next thursday. Obama has already said no dice already and the debates go on.

  17. 17.

    Adam

    September 24, 2008 at 5:35 pm

    one on which the administration is now willing to make a major concession on executive pay.

    Oh no, don’t throw me in that briar patch filled with money, anything but that

  18. 18.

    Comrade Zifnab

    September 24, 2008 at 5:36 pm

    Keep in mind, 45% of Americans want this man to be our leader. *sigh*

  19. 19.

    demkat620

    September 24, 2008 at 5:38 pm

    You know, if I’m the McCain campaign right now, I have chewed so many Tums I could shit chalk. Tanking poll numbers, the Campbell Brown smackdown, Obama just being Obama, and Georgie on the TV tonight.
    Flop sweat is right. AND btw, Lou Dobbs HATES brown people.

    Karma is a bitch, asshats.

  20. 20.

    comrade chopper

    September 24, 2008 at 5:38 pm

    apparently ole miss is all pissed. the debate on friday costs the university 5 million bucks and mississippians are pissed as all hell.

  21. 21.

    DFD

    September 24, 2008 at 5:39 pm

    God bless the National Enquirer

  22. 22.

    Comrade Warren Terra

    September 24, 2008 at 5:39 pm

    Comrade PC, I understand your prurient interest, but on a day when McCain reveals himself to be the massive tool he is, could you please not pollute the thread with your prurient interest in Palin’s personal life? Any discussion of her private acts is a pure trap – stick to her manifold lies and her numerous failings as a public servant. Better yet, McCain’s.

  23. 23.

    mark

    September 24, 2008 at 5:41 pm

    This is going to be fun: SARAH PALIN LOVER REVEALED!

    Pic related.

    I can haz caption contest?

  24. 24.

    Joshau Norton

    September 24, 2008 at 5:42 pm

    So, McDeregulation doesn’t want to debate during the economic meltdown caused by his deregulation. Go figure.

    Damn you Libs! ! I haven’t figured out how it’s our fault yet, but I’m sure it is.

  25. 25.

    libarbarian

    September 24, 2008 at 5:42 pm

    This is going to be fun: SARAH PALIN LOVER REVEALED!

    Don’t buy it just yet.

    Still, the constant attacks – both legit political ones and muckraking tabloid ones – are going to wear down her facade and ruin her reputation.

  26. 26.

    MazeDancer

    September 24, 2008 at 5:42 pm

    Is there any chance the recalcitrant Republicans — who apparently even snarled at Cheney – are going to let McCain “hero” them in to joining the bail-out? Or are they going to be even angrier than McCain is saying this is a real crisis, and that doing nothing isn’t an option. And neither are all their free market theories?

    If McCain convinces them to become bi-partisan, he’ll get some points. Otherwise this is another nosedive in the polls.

  27. 27.

    Dennis - SGMM

    September 24, 2008 at 5:44 pm

    Having found that Palin is catastrophically unready, the McCain campaign is pulling a desperate stunt in hopes that the VP debate will also be pushed down the road – or postponed until the 12th of Never. Watch as they reveal that the close consultation and around-the-clock work being done by McCain and Palin to come up with solutions to the economic crisis makes both of them unavailable for debates, press conferences and bar mitzvahs. Their surrogates will go on heroically lying on their behalf for the duration of the emergency.

  28. 28.

    Comrade Dreggas

    September 24, 2008 at 5:44 pm

    The interesting thing in the last couple of days that I have seen is that Americans are waiting to see what John McCain will do on this proposal. They’re not waiting to see what Barack Obama is going to do. Is he going to do this and see what way the political wind’s blowing. They’re waiting to see if John McCain will be able to see these amendments implemented in Paulson’s proposal.
    – Sarah Palin

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  29. 29.

    cleek

    September 24, 2008 at 5:45 pm

    apparently ole miss is all pissed. the debate on friday costs the university 5 million bucks and mississippians are pissed as all hell.

    5M? we can bail that shit out in our sleep.

  30. 30.

    Adam

    September 24, 2008 at 5:52 pm

    Having found that Palin is catastrophically unready

    I don’t think you even need to go that far. They could have decided that the debates just weren’t good for them on-balance (and they aren’t) and said, “Fuck it, we’re not doing ’em.”

    I mean, why not? Are they afraid of being called out at this point? It’s gone way past that — they are way too far down the low road to turn back.

    I think they made the decision to stretch the truth two months ago and since then realized that there’s really no limits to how far they can run with it — in fact, it’s arguable that the best strategy right now is actually to keep upping the ridiculousness ante until the election.

  31. 31.

    cleek

    September 24, 2008 at 5:54 pm

    I think they made the decision to stretch the truth two months ago and since then realized that there’s really no limits to how far they can run with it

    i think the limit is somewhere around 47% which is pretty good, but might not be enough, in the end.

  32. 32.

    PC

    September 24, 2008 at 5:55 pm

    Any discussion of her private acts is a pure trap

    Sarah Palin is a trap? (NSFW) That is news!

  33. 33.

    Comrade Napoleon

    September 24, 2008 at 5:55 pm

    What I want to know is how does Obama manage to pick opponents who manage the most spectacular self inflicted implosions? I am beginning to think he is the anti-christ.

  34. 34.

    Narcissus

    September 24, 2008 at 5:55 pm

    This election is better than porn.

  35. 35.

    cleek

    September 24, 2008 at 5:57 pm

    Obama has already said no dice already and the debates go on.

    which will lead to a resounding chorus of “Obama puts politics before country!” from the choir.

  36. 36.

    JL

    September 24, 2008 at 5:58 pm

    Give me a break! When McCain found out that he could not have his scheduled nap on Friday, he had no choice but cancel the debate. The guy is old.

  37. 37.

    necros

    September 24, 2008 at 5:58 pm

    Here’s some disturbing video from Palin’s church…

    The Witch Hunter Anoints Sarah Palin

  38. 38.

    Montysano (All Hail Marx & Lennon)

    September 24, 2008 at 5:59 pm

    Doug H. (Fausto no more) Says:

    Best. Election. Ever.

    Comrade Snark Based Reality Says:

    All aboard the fail train.

    apparently ole miss is all pissed. the debate on friday costs the university 5 million bucks and mississippians are pissed as all hell.

    5M? we can bail that shit out in our sleep.

    Hands down, best blog on teh toobz.

  39. 39.

    камрад комисaр Xenos

    September 24, 2008 at 6:00 pm

    The whole idea that getting the endorsement of some lady named Lady Baroness Lynn Forester de Rothschild will somehow win for McCain the disaffected Hillary supporters shows how desperate McCain has gotten. Grasping at straws, here.

    Now if we could punch up the Palin infidelity rumour to include two of the three Hanson Brothers, then that would be truly amazing. “Puttin’ on the foil!”

  40. 40.

    Comrade TGP

    September 24, 2008 at 6:03 pm

    So much WIN in this thread I think I’m getting aroused.

    When you get smacked down by Letterman and Campbell Brown on the same day your shit is very weak. Boo fucking hoo. Former POW McCain should go home to Arizona and not step in front of a microphone again until he grows a pair. Jesus. What a pathetic fuck. I’ve been waiting for McCain to go all Buzz Aldrin on someone but we’ve found out he’s just a sorry old emasculated pussy. I wouldn’t vote for him if he punched someone but I might actually have a shred of respect for him. Another disgraceful display on the part of McCain.

  41. 41.

    srv

    September 24, 2008 at 6:04 pm

    I’m waiting for the suggestion that we suspend the election.

  42. 42.

    syl

    September 24, 2008 at 6:05 pm

    I’m wondering if this is just an expectations game ploy. McCain left himself the out that if the bail-out gets resolved he’ll still go to the debate. So the bill gets passed Friday Morning, McCain heroically boards one of his private jets to Mississippi, and “Golly I’m sure trying my best to talk in this here debate Mister, but I just got done saving the economy all week so it’s not my fault that I’m an uprepared moron who knows nothing about foreign policy. Why don’t you ask that uppity elitist some questions, you know that Kenyan guy over there who wasn’t a POW like I was.”

  43. 43.

    Joshau Norton

    September 24, 2008 at 6:05 pm

    which will lead to a resounding chorus of “Obama puts politics before country!” from the choir.

    Which will lead to a resounding chorus of “he can do 2 things at once, deal with it”.

  44. 44.

    Comrade jnfr

    September 24, 2008 at 6:05 pm

    This is a great day for political junkies. I haven’t had so much fun in ages.

  45. 45.

    Comrade Dreggas

    September 24, 2008 at 6:09 pm

    cleek Says:

    Obama has already said no dice already and the debates go on.

    which will lead to a resounding chorus of “Obama puts politics before country!” from the choir.

    CW seems to see this as McCain putting politics before country.

  46. 46.

    comrade rawshark

    September 24, 2008 at 6:09 pm

    I’m sure the financial ‘crisis’ is the reason for cancelling the debates. Riiiiiight.

  47. 47.

    w vincentz

    September 24, 2008 at 6:13 pm

    Barney Frank said some interesting stuff today… like about a hail mary (lol). He also said that most of the negotiations that have been going on since the weekend are very close to agreement, and it seems only fitting that McCain will show up in an attemt to gain credit for the efforts. (I paraphrased…see Tweety’s show).

  48. 48.

    KXB

    September 24, 2008 at 6:13 pm

    “Have you not seen Letterman attack O’Reilly? To neocons, Letterman is far left.”

    But O’Reilly is not running for office – he’s quite comfortable in his Fox cocoon.

  49. 49.

    Cain

    September 24, 2008 at 6:14 pm

    Anybody been reading any of the red blogs? I refuse to visit em, it just gets me mad. Alternatively, what about about the myiq2

  50. 50.

    Napoleon

    September 24, 2008 at 6:58 pm

    apparently ole miss is all pissed. the debate on friday costs the university 5 million bucks and mississippians are pissed as all hell

    The funny thing is they have a competative Senate race in Miss. which the Rep. have already been caught playing shenanagans with. You have to wonder if all of it may cost them this seat in the end.

  51. 51.

    stickler

    September 24, 2008 at 7:06 pm

    AAAAAGH!

    I posted some pithy genius, and AGAIN WordPress eated it.

    Feck this. I’m going to mix a martini, turn on the cable nooze, and never come back.

    Good day, sir!

    I said, good day!

  52. 52.

    LiberalTarian

    September 24, 2008 at 7:19 pm

    Feck!! Fecking Feck! [gawd I love Father Ted]

    But, I digress.

    Has anyone ever tried to pull a stunt like this? I mean, ever?

    You don’t suspend a gawddamn campaign 40 some days before the election. You don’t suspend a gawddamn campaign the day before the debate, knowing your opposition is slamming you with ads about how you have failed to provide leadership for the bulk of Americans in your first 25+ years in office, and you aren’t about to start now …

    You know I think Obama is right: McCain really does think we are stupid.

  53. 53.

    kommrade jakevich

    September 24, 2008 at 8:15 pm

    We’re being irresponsible and watching Ghost Hunters instead of the pResident’s gibberings of wisdom about the economy.

    Hopefully the stock brokers are all drunk and so won’t do any real damage with after hours trading.

  54. 54.

    Krista

    September 24, 2008 at 8:33 pm

    Now if we could punch up the Palin infidelity rumour to include two of the three Hanson Brothers, then that would be truly amazing. “Puttin’ on the foil!”

    These Hanson brothers? Or these?

    Either way, the mental image is wrong, wrong, wrong.

  55. 55.

    Jonathan

    September 24, 2008 at 9:32 pm

    Note to Self: Never cancel Letterman to do Couric, unless I’m REALLY doing Couric.

  56. 56.

    ShouldKnowBetter

    September 25, 2008 at 12:28 am

    The baffling thing to me (ok, one baffling thing) is why the heck did McCain think he could get away with lying about going back to DC, like no one on Letterman’s staff would notice he was on teevee? On their own network, even?

  57. 57.

    OriGuy

    September 25, 2008 at 4:01 am

    I’d love to see what Terry Pratchett could do with this election. I hope his Alzheimer’s holds off long enough for him to write a book about it.

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

2023 Pet Calendars

Pet Calendar Preview: A
Pet Calendar Preview: B

*Calendars can not be ordered until Cafe Press gets their calendar paper in.

Recent Comments

  • lowtechcyclist on Is Our Democrats Learning? (Jan 31, 2023 @ 2:51pm)
  • Mimi haha on Is Our Democrats Learning? (Jan 31, 2023 @ 2:48pm)
  • C Stars on Is Our Democrats Learning? (Jan 31, 2023 @ 2:46pm)
  • Ruckus on Is Our Democrats Learning? (Jan 31, 2023 @ 2:46pm)
  • Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony on Is Our Democrats Learning? (Jan 31, 2023 @ 2:45pm)

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
We All Need A Little Kindness
Favorite Dogs & Cats
Classified Documents: A Primer

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup

Front-pager Twitter

John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
TaMara
David Anderson
ActualCitizensUnited

Shop Amazon via this link to support Balloon Juice   

Join the Fight!

Join the Fight Signup Form
All Join the Fight Posts

Balloon Juice Events

5/14  The Apocalypse
5/20  Home Away from Home
5/29  We’re Back, Baby
7/21  Merging!

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!