As you know, I’ve been trying to wrap my head around it, and I just can’t. Fortunately, the fundamentalists have the answer. It’s the GHEYS!!
Christian fundamentalists are suggesting gays and lesbians are to blame for Wall Street’s woes, a frequently made charge in the wake of national calamities.
In a September 25th blog post titled ‘The Nation Will Right Itself If It Fixes Sex’, Christian Civil League of Maine Executive Director Michael Heath writes that the financial crisis facing Wall Street is a symptom of America’s sinful sexual culture, including the acceptance of gay unions.
I’m just glad we now know.
Wilson Heath
That’s just as logical and reasoned as any other view that Christian fundamentalists hold. I’d love to here some detail of just how this acceptance of gays is connected to decades of Republican deregulation, though. Is Phil Gramm gay?
Charity
….
I got nothin’.
Charity
Oh, I will add though that today is my 3rd wedding anniversary, and my marriage does not seem to have been affected by OMG THE GHEYS! getting married.
Happy anniversary, sweetie!
Charity
@Wilson Heath: No, but he is married to someone who was a muckity-muck at Enron. Which just proves how qualified he is to be head of Treasury.
Original Lee
I now miss Lou Rukeyser even more than before, although that is hardly possible. Can’t you just see him skewering all this nonsense in his trademark gentle punny snark?
Walker
Well, in my experience, it is true that gay couples have been a major force behind gentrification. They have a lot of disposable income and it is common for them to use this income to fix up houses in less than desirable areas. My mother lives in an old district that was run down, experienced a major gay influx, and then became the “it” place to live.
But when they fix up these houses, they pay rock-bottom prices, because they are taking the risk the area is not going to get better. They are not the fools paying top dollar for a house in an established area, installing a granite counter and doubling the price.
apocalipstick
Or maybe it’s America’s acceptance of a sinful financial culture. Nothing in the Bible endorses capitalism, although there are a few verses about lending at interest. Hint: it’s frowned upon.
the Reverend boy
Happy to know that once again that I and all my gay and lesbian brothers and sisters are the root of all evil in this country, and not the love of money.
I remain further convinced that fundamentalists do not know the Bible at all.
LOVE the new look on the site by the way :-)
Conservatively Liberal
So it is all Larry Craig’s fault? Makes sense to me.
Cole, fix yer blog! Once the comments get somewhere over 160, the bottom of the page turns black and I can’t post anymore.
That’s not change I can believe in! :)
TheFountainHead
Holy Jeebus! I should have known! It’s been right there in front of my nose!
Thank Zoron for the Christian Fundies, or I wouldn’t know WHAT to think!
Glenn
Weren’t they also responsible for 9/11?
rachel
Wouldn’t it be a kick in the head if we got to the afterlife and discover that God didn’t give a shit about teh gheys; he was all bent out of shape about people wearing poly-cotton blends.
At least wool and linen are both natural. Polyester is an abomination, IMO.
Nerf
I just let my co-worker next to me know that, as a lesbian, this is all her fault. I hoope she feels sufficient shame for her deviancxe causing worldwide financial meltdown…
DrDave
No. It’s Bill Clinton’s fault because he got a blow job and then lied about it.
Punchy
I just wish someone could explain just what the fuck the “Log Cabin” Republicans are all about. How the fuck they claim to support the party that villifies, excoriates, shuns, and openly tries to exclude them is hilarious. Perhaps the “BOHICA” Republicans is better?
El Cid
You mean, with as much right wing conspiracy paranoia as we’ve seen throughout history about THE JOOOZ, they can’t use a Jewish banker conspiracy to explain Wall Street banks???
What good then is a Jewish banker conspiracy theory if you can’t use it NOW?
Snail
I like most of the site improvements, but me no likey the upside-down thread chronology. Top to bottom!
Snail
That’s strange. I just submitted my comment and it appeared. On the bottom! ???
p.a.
Topic for discussion: are we at the point, or already past the point, where the stupid and the insanity is so overwhelming that satire and parody are no longer possible? Is this the death-knell for The Onion.
TheFountainHead
“Topic for discussion: are we at the point, or already past the point, where the stupid and the insanity is so overwhelming that satire and parody are no longer possible? Is this the death-knell for The Onion.”
Well, seeing how much more angry Jon Stewart has been in the last few weeks, you may have something there.
Comrade Incertus
Man, y’all are evil. You cause hurricanes, economic depressions–what’s next? Locusts?
TheFountainHead
Where are my friggin’ tag buttons??
Adrienne
You know how it is… Religious fundamentalists blame teh gays and regular ol’ Repubs blame teh negroes – anything to distract from the fact that it’s mostly their fault and their policies and their Scapegoating the most oppressed among us is a time honored tradition. It’s like Thanksgiving. No need to break with tradition now.
9/11 = Teh gays and teh secularists who love them
Katrina = teh negroes and teh gays…. especially the gay negroes (oh noes!)
Housing Crisis = teh negroes
Financial ruin = teh gays.
See. I told ya. Time honored tradition.
r€nato
So it’s the fault of all those closeted gay Republicans, hmmm???
Adrienne
Sorry….it should say “and their ideology”. My bad.
Punchy
manually enter in the codes
No buttons fo you!
MattF
I give up. What category goes beyond ‘General Stupidity?’ ‘President Stupidity’? ‘Emperor Stupidity’? ‘Avatar of the Universal Spirit Stupidity?’
TheFountainHead
Noooooooooo!!! I needs mah buttons!
r€nato
A Republican’s Weekly To-Do List
Monday-Blame the gays
Tuesday-Blame the feminazis
Wednesday-Blame the black folks
Thursday-Blame the illegals
Friday-Blame Clinton
Saturday-Blame the permissive culture
Sunday-Blame abortion and evolution
Bob In Pacifica
The example set by the gays, all that fornicatin’, made the bankers feel the need to screw everyone, regardless of gender.
That’s as close as I can get.
Where are all the buttons along the top? Did the gays take them?
Barbara
Everytime I think that there is nothing more vicious or more stupid or more illogical that the current cast of Republicans and their fans can do, I am proved wrong. Whether it’s suppressing the vote or blaming dark people or poor people or gay people, I am just continually amazed that I can still be amazed at how low it goes.
Zifnab
Larry Craig’s bathroom tap dance was the footstep of doom for our nation’s economic stability. Who knew?
Honestly, though, who the fuck cares what hillbilly tent preachers think about the economic climate. If the economy was humming along smoothly, would they be celebrating the glorious contribution that guy-on-guy buttsex has made to our financial stability? Are they more likely to become pro-choice if we don’t get hit by any hurricanes next year? Will they back off the Islamo-bashing if we get another round of “victory” in Iraq? Of course not.
No serious person takes this shit literally anymore. This isn’t “The economy tanked because gays are wrecking our society.” It’s “The economy is in the tank and, oh, by the way, gays are wrecking our society.” Causation went out the window generations ago with these people.
ksmiami
Hey John Cole, speaking as a former Republican myself, aren’t you glad you got off that train?
cyntax
I find poly blends are indispensible for things like cycling and rockclimbing (though smart wool is teh awesome). But love that quote from Deuteronomy; the Bible is really full of some whacky stuff and people definitely pick and choose what they think is important (even if they say they don’t).
TheFountainHead
I bet they did, you know them gays is always accessorizin’!
/toothlesscuss
Dreggas
Damn it they left out all us pagans. I’m half-gay can I take some
credit?
Comrade Incertus
That’s true, but there are some awfully unserious
people in positions of great authority in this country, which is a
shame.
Comrade Incertus
Fucking blockquotes.
Tsulagi
Figures. You gotta stop choosing that shit. Do it for Jesus, and
Wall Street.
Actually, that fits pretty well.
Doug H. (Fausto no more)
Had to flush the cache, but I finally got the new layout to work.
Very swank, my complements to the designers. Also, everything past
post 150 in the other thread is blocked by a huge wall of black so
I couldn’t post this there: Balloon Juice 3.0 is still supported by
Bananas In Pajamas Media 3.0? Really? Are Soros’s checks still
bouncing?
Tsulagi
What the hell? My “Perhaps the “BOHICA” Republicans is better?”
above showed in Preview to be in blockquote. Must be teh gheys
fault again.
Dennis - SGMM
The gays seem to feel that the Wall Street mess is the fault of the
same political party that plays the Lucy/football trick on the
fundies in every election. On another note: we celebrated our
thirtieth wedding anniversary this year. Although our marriage
seems sound my wife has lately shown a lot of interest in the films
of Jodie Foster. Should I be concerned?
Scrutinizer
You mean like wet suits?
TheFountainHead
I am nothing without my tag buttons. le sigh.
jrg
“It’s the GHEYS!!” Absolutely. I’d like to add the fact that
Michael Heath has not yet been awarded the Nobel prize in Economics
is an indicator of liberal bias in Academia.
Svensker
The Negroes stole our buttons!
Scrutinizer
So, block quotes hosed? And why can’t I wear garments that divers
wear? As long as I don’t wear two of them. With dildoes.
Montysano (All Hail Marx & Lennon)
“The gays did it” is so over, so yesterday. Gwen Fucking Ifill, my
friends. She wrote a book. A BOOK!
comrade scott
Gay Republicans is as oxymoronic as Black Republicans. Each must
have a large dose of self-loathing if they politically identify
themselves with that party.
Jay C
“You mean, with as much right wing conspiracy paranoia as we’ve
seen throughout history about THE JOOOZ, they can’t use a Jewish
banker conspiracy to explain Wall Street banks??? Well, it’s
early days, yet: the VRWC probably has a few of its deeper thinkers
working on it: probably trying to gin up a suitable euphemism:
“internationalist” and “rootless cosmopolitan” having gotten too
old-fashioned. Most likely they’ll come up with something with
“global” in it, to tar two groups at once.
Brian J
Is there some sort of triple threat out there, like a black Jew who
also happens to be gay? What if they read, gasp, The New York Times
and vote for the Democrats? What if they drive a Prius?
TheFountainHead
Riiiiiggggghttttt…..
TheFountainHead
Gaaaahhh!! Damn the code on this site. Damn it all to HECK!
Montysano (All Hail Marx & Lennon)
testing em tag testing link
Scrutinizer
OT: Still the adult magazine black screen of death using FF 2 &
3 on 100+ post threads. Different computer now, same behavior.
Dreggas @ 36: Is half-gay like bi? Or is it like being in a closet
with Dutch doors? And if the latter, which door is open? It would
be irresponsible not to speculate,
4tehlulz
The gays even stole the best antisemitic canard; they really are a
devious (and stylish) lot.
Montysano (All Hail Marx & Lennon)
Fail
Scrutinizer
Do I have to use < br > now to break lines, so that I
can have a blank line like this? And will Preview lie to me yet
again?
Scrutinizer
Yes. Preview lies like a Republican.
Comrade Grand Panjandrum
Well it could NOT have been us nice “normal” folks now, could it?
BTW Michael since all “you people” seem to have caused so many ills
what the hell are you going to do about all this global warming
stuff you caused?
Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse
Excuse me, this is all testing, given that I missed all the fun
last night and now see that the buttons are gone. Who knows what
hacks still work? <img
src=”http://static.flickr.com/29/57621369_1f33b64ebb.jpg” />
<object width=”425″ height=”344″><param
name=”movie”
value=”http://www.youtube.com/v/YjI-cyfQhdk&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&fs=1″></param><param
name=”allowFullScreen” value=”true”></param><embed
src=”http://www.youtube.com/v/YjI-cyfQhdk&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&fs=1″
type=”application/x-shockwave-flash” allowfullscreen=”true”
width=”425″ height=”344″></embed></object> Once I
know what works, I’m making a template file in Notepad so I can
just copy and paste as needed. I make too many silly typos on my
own.
Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse
Right. I am miffed now. Do you hear me? MIFFED.
b. hussein canuckistani
A couple of old, old friends of mine came out a few years back, and
we’re still friends. Can I have some credit for the financial
meltdown too? I’m not actually gay, but I’d like to be on the
fundie blacklist.
gbear
I can tell you without reservation that the financial crisis has
become a huge part of my own homosexual adgenda. My ‘disposable
income’ has pretty much shrunk to the point where it pays for the
cat’s food.
TheFountainHead
MY BUTTONS! THEY ARE BACK! REJOICE!
Zifnab
The people at the highest reaches of authority know
the game. They run these plays for DOMA and against Laurence v.
Texas in the most cynical methods possible. The only time
sitting Republicans seem to give two shits about any of these hot
button issues is during an election year. Outside of the four
months before November on even calendar years, the hang-wringing
pants-wetting homophobic hypochondria never gets more than token
attention. Have you noticed how politicians rarely run anti-gay
ballot initiatives on off-year elections? Almost as though they’re
saving such legislation as a draw to bring bible-thumping fundies
to the polls to vote Republican? I mean, for Christ’s sake, look at
how many Christian Fundie Anti-Gay activists come out of the
woodwork as closet cases. No one takes this shit seriously at the
higher escalons of power. Edit: BLOCKQUOTES! YOU HAVE FAILED ME
AGAIN! DAMN YOU! Also, carriage returns.
4tehlulz
You’re slow. That euphemism is “George Soros.”
Comrade Sock Puppet of the Great Satan
It’s just like the Underpants Gnomes in reverse: 1: Ghey Sex 2:
???!!??? 3. Losses!
Comrade Dread
You know, I posted in jest on Kos yesterday that I blamed teh gay
marriage for Wall Street. I guess satire is dead.
CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII
Well, if the fundies want to interject religion into this whole
thing, then I guess they would like to tell me why having a larger
than life sized golden bull in the middle of Wall Street might not
be the reason? Hmmmm!
CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII
Click to edit? We have editable posts now? TZ will be so amazed. ;)
Comrade Darkness
“I remain further convinced that fundamentalists do not know the
Bible at all.” Oh, as an atheist, this is the single best way to
get a fundie to leave you alone, fully voluntarily. Quote the bible
and theology at them. Better yet, argue provenance.
CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII
btw John or Michael, or Annette or someone in charge, not sure if
you are aware of it, the first post in the new design from last
night (with the home crap home book) has a HUGE black span at the
bottom of the page that is blocking the posting fields. Are you
aware of this? I’m posting about it here because I can’t post about
it there. Thanks!
CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII
… (the above should be in blockquotes) … It has
been my experience that atheists ALWAYS know the Bible better than
so called believers.
CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII
Oh phuk it!
nicethugbert
You heathen scumbags! You’re all wrong! This is the one and only
time the fundies have ever been CORRECT! If “Wall Street” would
practice Abstinance Only then they would stop fucking the Little
Guy! Damn homos!
charlotte
I’m so relieved. I was worried maybe I was responsible for the
credit crisis. I was super bitchy to my husband two weeks ago at
dinner as the result of one glass too many of red wine and not
enough to eat. I kind of ruined our evening–and maybe the economy
too. Thank goodness all this mess I barely understand is the fault
of all those disgusting gay people. They seem to think that Sarah’s
“right to privacy” should be extended to them too and also, such
as, however, as they seek to embrace foundationally whatever
because we need to shore up job creation and life. I mean, come on,
six-pack: Stand up! At a minimum, rear up? Catch ya later.
SGEW
[This should be in blockquotes. Why is it not in blockquotes?!]: It
has been my experience that atheists ALWAYS know the Bible better
than so called believers. [End blockquotes.] Especially when we
start quotin’ Leviticus. Such fun!
– Leviticus 11:13 – 18 Owls are unclean.
Unclean!! They’re as much an abomination as teh gheys!! Obviously
the financial crisis is the fault of owls and cormorants. GAY owls
and cormorants! Also:
Amen.
SGEW
Noooes! My beloved blockquotes are all fakakta! . . . This is the
fault of all those gay, jewish, black seagulls, I bet.
SGEW
And my formatting is all screwy too . . . I guess it’ll take a
while for me to get up to speed w/ th’ new setup. . . . . (this
should be a line break) . . . . My words somehow feel less cogent
when they’re all bunched together in a big old bolus of a
paragraph.
CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII
It wasn’t you SGEW, it was the ghosts of the Levite priests. ;)
ppcli
Hey Charity at #3 – congratulations! It was my anniversary
yesterday too. My 19th. I still can’t figure out how my wife and I
have managed to stay in love this long even though my native
country allows gay marriage. I guess it’s a good thing I now live
in a state where “marriage is defended”. Otherwise we would have
been divorced years ago.
rob!
jeez, i knew teh gays were to blame for Hollywood, but now they’re
responsible for WALL STREET too? what’s next, musical theater?
Chris Johnson
Goddammit, Michael. It’s like “I read these morons so you don’t
have to”, except that guess what? You don’t have to either! And you
certainly don’t have to come tell me all about this pointless
internet blog dickwad. Get back to me when you see that headline on
ANY newspaper or respectable website and then I’ll cry oh noes.
Sheesh.
Beej
Oh. My. God. Yes, I know. The fundies are always just this side of
totally nuts, but this one takes it over the edge. Wait for the
Rapture, brother. When it comes, all our prophecies will be
fulfilled, and we won’t have to deal with nasty things like, for
instance, reality, anymore. We can float forever on our clouds,
listening to harp music.
SGEW
@Chris Johnson: Mocking these people
gives us the jollies. Easy prey, I admit, but it’s an admirable
pursuit.
Bootlegger
Well if the xtian god keeps doing nasty shit to us we need to find a weapon that can take it down. I mean what are they doing worshipping a creature that would torture everyone?
On South Park they nuked our imaginations, can’t we slam a giant anal dildo up god’s ass! That’ll fix it.
Sister Machine Gun of Mild Harmony
Oh no! Not again! How do the Xtians keep finding out about our nefarious gay agenda items? I mean everytime we do something big (9/11, Katrina, financial meltdown) in an effort to weaken the world so that we can take over, some Xtian blows our cover. Ted Haggard, is that you?
PS. We have your buttons…. wire large sums of money into an account in Ibiza and you might see them again.