Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Not all heroes wear capes.

I did not have telepathic declassification on my 2022 bingo card.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

Infrastructure week. at last.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

You can’t love your country only when you win.

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

“More of this”, i said to the dog.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

Just because you believe it, that doesn’t make it true.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Peak wingnut was a lie.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Let there be snark.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Americans barely caring about Afghanistan is so last month.

You are here: Home / Past Elections / Election 2008 / Richard Cohen is Shrill

Richard Cohen is Shrill

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Very shrill indeed. Almost sounds bitter:

Since I began with the Times’ conservative columnist of the moment, I will end with its conservative columnist of years past — the estimable William Safire. In 1996, he called Hillary Clinton “a congenital liar.” It was a head-snapping characterization that, alas for Clinton, has defined her for the ages and that she stubbornly vindicates from time to time.

But what about Palin? Can you imagine the reaction of the press corps if Clinton had given the audience a “hiya, sailor” wink? Can you imagine the feverish blogging across the political spectrum if Clinton had claimed credit for stopping a bridge that, in fact, had set her heart aflutter? What if she had shown that she didn’t know squat about the Constitution, if she could not tell Katie Couric what newspapers or magazines she read or if she had claimed an intimacy with foreign affairs based on sighting Russia through binoculars?

Ah, but the scorn, approbation and ridicule that would have descended on Clinton — I can just imagine the Journal editorial — have been withheld from Palin. Much of the mainstream media, grading on a curve suitable for a parrot — “greed and corruption, greed and corruption, greed and corruption” — gave her a passing grade or better. I agree with Palin. It’s the mainstream media that flunked.

Word.

BTW- You might want to check your children to see if they are suffering from an outbreak of Intermittent Gunderson Syndrome (IGS). Symptoms include a fake accent that appears to come and go, use of folksy mannerisms when in front of a national audience, inadvertent winking, and the loss of the ability to pronounce the letter “g” at the end of words. A video here:

Reader Interactions

100Comments

  1. 1.

    Mr Furious

    I loved this ‘graph…

    In effect, columnists, bloggers, talk-show hosts and digital lamplighters have adopted the ethic of the political consultant: what works, works. It did not matter what Palin said. It only mattered how she said it — all those doggones, references to her working-class status (net worth in excess of $2 million), promiscuous use of the word "maverick," repeated mentions of "greed and corruption on Wall Street" (Who? Be specific. Give examples. Didn’t anyone here go to school?) and, of course, that manic good cheer. Palin knows that the standard is not right or wrong, truth or lie, but the graph that ran under both debaters on CNN, measuring approval, disapproval or, maybe, the blood sugar levels of certain people in their focus group. Things have changed. Might used to make right. Now a wink does.

  2. 2.

    Penn

    It’s not that she has seen Russia through binoculars, it’s that there is a place in Alaska, where she is Governor, where it is possible to do so.
    She’s never been to that place or seen Russia, though. She just could have.

  3. 3.

    Г-жа demimondian

    What do you mean? Russia is a part of Alaska; the mainstream media just keeps forgetting that Moscow is in Idaho. Also.

  7. 7.

    Graeme

    I think it would have been funnier to watch the Right go apeshit if Bill Clinton had winked at the American public during a debate! Hahahahah!

  8. 8.

    Eric U.

    I haven’t seen any republican use the clenis defense recently, I kinda miss it. The mighty power of the Clenis is not to be trifled with.

  9. 9.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    What do you mean? Russia is a part of Alaska; the mainstream media just keeps forgetting that Moscow is in Idaho. Also.

    And Rome is in New York… oh, and Georgia too!

  12. 12.

    Emma Anne

    But I see Cohen still feels that calling Hillary a congenital liar is more or less fair. I’d bet all her lies in the last 20 years wouldn’t match up to, say, McCain’s this year.

  15. 15.

    John

    And Damascus is in Maryland, Vienna’s in Virginia, Paris is in Texas, Berlin is in New Hampshire, Lima’s in Ohio, Madrid’s in Alabama, Lisbon’s in Connecticut, Canton’s in New York, and Bethlehem’s in Pennsylvania.

    Are we done now?

  17. 17.

    Svensker

    OT, but has anyone figured out a work-around for the black cone of invisibility when the comments reach a certain number?

  20. 20.

    SamFromUtah

    Things have changed. Might used to make right. Now a wink does.

    I’m also comforted to know that it was OK for might to make right.

  21. 21.

    Napoleon

    Ohio has a Demascus, Paris, Manchester, Medina, Mecca, Vienna, Rome, Geneva, Versailles and Berlin also. And that is just what I can think of off the top of my head.

    Serious comment, I have wondered on occasion if the farmers and settlers who gave places like that their names were perhaps more open minded and "learned" then a large chunk of todays population that couldn’t even put up with naming a fried piece of potato after the French (I mean Ohio has a MECCA and MEDINA for God sakes).

  23. 23.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    Ohio also has a Delaware, a Wilmington and a Newark (Newark, DE is my original hometown), which makes me believe it will trend towards a Biden win this time around. ;)

  25. 25.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    Oh, and there’s a small town named Wyoming in Delaware, so maybe there’s a small chance Wyoming will trend Democratic too!

  26. 26.

    Napoleon

    Good God, Ohio has a Poland also. I don’t know how I didn’t remember that since they were my high schools chief rival.

  27. 27.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    and it takes 35 minutes to get from Erect to Climax, in NC.

    Really, I had no idea.

    LMAO!

  28. 28.

    w vincentz

    Here in NY, we have Mexico, Rome, Athens, and the new ones..New Berlin, New Amsterdam. Too many others to mention.

    Hey, can anyone answer a question that hit me when the pitbull talked in FL. She stated that our military is fighting for OUR freedoms in the Middle East. What freedoms are at stake over there that aren’t at stake over here?

  29. 29.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    Hey, can anyone answer a question that hit me when the pitbull talked in FL. She stated that our military is fighting for OUR freedoms in the Middle East. What freedoms are at stake over there that aren’t at stake over here?

    The freedom to own Babylon (Oh, I forgot, that’s in New York too!)

    Nevermind…

  30. 30.

    redwards95

    Uh… Hillary Clinton did campaign like that. Remember the sniperfire on the tarmac in Bosnia? The claim that being first lady made her a foreign policy expert? Taking credit for passing the medical leave act which was passed before her husband took office? I could go on and on….

  31. 31.

    Comrade Nixon Hailfire Palin

    Ooh, ooh, I’ve got one for the debate:
    "Senator McCain, you’ve been asking if we know what Senator Obama really believes. When will Governor Palin hold a press conference so we can find out what she really believes?"
    OK, I can dream.

  32. 32.

    Brachiator

    @cleek:

    and it takes 35 minutes to get from Erect to Climax, in NC.

    And it’s only 4 miles from Climax to Pleasant Garden, NC. But 42 miles from Jugtown to Climax (unless you make a side trip to Cheeks).

    Thank you, google maps

  33. 33.

    DFD

    (I mean Ohio has a MECCA and MEDINA for God sakes).

    Illinois also has a Mahomet (variant of Muhammad). Call Auntie Em! Call Sgt. York! Call the Malkin Militia! The terrorists really are here!

  34. 34.

    w vincentz

    Thanks Cirvus,
    We also have Cairo, though here abouts, we pronounce it Kay-roh. We also say nuke-lee-ar, not nu-cue-lar.
    ok…carry on (or carion for the epicures out there).

  35. 35.

    Funkhauser

    Dear Richard Cohen,

    You do know that a congenital liar finds it impossible to ever tell the truth? That it means that she lied from birth? So how could Hillary "vindicate this from time to time?"

    Or do words have no meaning for those who write for a living?

    F— you. Retire and die, you pig-ignorant waste of space.

    Oh, and your judgment sucks. Witness, you, February of this year:

    McCain, in contrast, is storied precisely because he has staked his life on his principles. As a prisoner of war, he turned down freedom — and a respite from torture — because it was not his turn to be released. He is an affable man of zealous, unbending beliefs. I am not sure if such obstinacy is a desired presidential trait. I am sure, though, that he — like Obama or Hillary Clinton in their own (demographic) ways — is sui generis. There is no one quite like him.

    P.S. California is in Pennsylvania. There’s a college there. I think it’s called UCLA of PA.

  36. 36.

    Robert Sneddon

    New York is about ten miles from Washington in SE England. Boston’s about a hundred miles of them to the north-east in the fens. Moscow is in SW Scotland about three hundred miles further NW.

  39. 39.

    jake

    One corner of Northern Indiana has Warsaw, Angola and Peru. There’s a Versailles out there somewhere but I think that might be Ohio.

  40. 40.

    DonnaInMichigan

    Here in Michigan we have a city named HELL.

    Friends of our family owned a bar/restaurant there called "The Damn Site Inn".

    But according to Saracudda Palinocchio…that isn’t the "hell" that she says that I am going to.

  42. 42.

    Scrutinizer

    The more I watch Palin, the less funny I find her. A demagogue of the first order, that one.

    Dave Neiwert over at Orcinus has been talking about that lately, too.

  44. 44.

    Napoleon

    Maryland has Cambridge AND Oxford

    So does Ohio, so there (and actually Oxford has what is ussually considered the best state University in it).

  45. 45.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    Pennsylvania has Intercourse, and also Bird in Hand.

    Blue Ball too, not far from Intercourse, oddly enough.

  46. 46.

    Krista

    Pah, Newfoundland has all of your states beat wrt pervy (or weird) names.

    Ass Hill, Ass Rock, Bareneed, Billy Butts Pond, Blow Me Down, Come By Chance, Dildo, Furby’s Cove, Goobies, Halfway Point, Happy Valley-Goose Bay, Hatchet Cove, Hearts Content, Hearts Desire, Jerry’s Nose, Joe Batt’s Arm, Lawn, Leading Tickles, Nameless Cove, Nippers Harbour, Noggin Cove, Old Man’s Head, Petty Harbour, Poor Boy Island, Pouch Cove, River of Ponds (River of Ponds Stream runs through it), St. Jones Within, St. Jones Without, Toogood Arm, Virgin Arm, Wild Bight, Witless Bay, and Wreck Cove.

  48. 48.

    Г-жа demimondian

    The more I watch Palin, the less funny I find her. A demagogue of the first order, that one.

    Amen.

  50. 50.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    Pah, Newfoundland has all of your states beat wrt pervy (or weird) names.

    Okay, but what do any of those names have to do with hegemony? Granted the foray into the sexual names was a bit off course, but, my question stands.

  51. 51.

    4tehlulz

    lol Richard Cohen. Am I supposed to take him seriously now?

    At least David Broder has a twisted sense of loyalty to the Village. Richard Cohen cannot even claim that shred of dignity.

  53. 53.

    Cain

    And Damascus is in Maryland, Vienna’s in Virginia, Paris is in Texas, Berlin is in New Hampshire, Lima’s in Ohio, Madrid’s in Alabama, Lisbon’s in Connecticut, Canton’s in New York, and Bethlehem’s in Pennsylvania.

    On U.S. 24 in Indiana, there’s a place with a sign that has Brazil written on it pointing in one direction, and Argentina pointing in another direction!

    In Oregon, we have Damascus, Madras, that’s all I remember. I’m sure we have some funny stuff too.

    cain

  55. 55.

    Zuzu Hussein's Petals

    I got married in Smartville, California, between Rough and Ready and Timbuctoo.

    Actually it turned out to be not so smart, but that’s a different story.

  59. 59.

    oh really

    You might want to check your children to see if they are suffering from an outbreak of Intermittent Gunderson Syndrome (IGS). Symptoms include a fake accent that appears to come and go, use of folksy mannerisms when in front of a national audience, inadvertent winking, and the loss of the ability to pronounce the letter “g” at the end of words.

    Funny thing, I heard a bit on NPR yesterday in which Alaska residents professed no knowledge whatever of the origins of Palin’s bizarre accent. It was, according to the native Alaskans (Caucasian natives to be precise), definitely not an Alaskan accent.

    I think she just sounds stupid.

  60. 60.

    jake

    Pah, Newfoundland has all of your states beat wrt pervy (or weird) names.

    Good thing Governor Blood Countess is keeping an eye on Canada also when she isn’t watching Russia though.

    But!

  61. 61.

    ThymeZone

    "there’s no place for that kind of campaigning, and the American people don’t want it."

    John McCain, April 2008, referring to attacks on Barack Obama during the Democratic Primaries, in which Obama was being criticized for being in Rev. Wright’s church.

    If I were Obama, I would play that on an ad 24 hours a day on every station they can afford to be on.

  62. 62.

    ethans mom

    Here in Michigan we have a city named HELL.

    Michigan also has Milan, but it’s pronounced My Lin, so it’s not elitist at all.

  63. 63.

    JGabriel

    After watching the video, I have to admit that I find Palin’s schtick marginally more tolerable when she’s NOT wearing the beehive/updo/whatever it’s called hairdo. At least when her hair is down, she doesn’t look like an overgrown valley girl.

    .

  64. 64.

    darkness

    If you are ever in Mecca California be sure to stop at the date farm. Unfreakin believably good dates. But what else would you have in the desert?

    Btw, the new site is dope on my phone. Thanks for the work upgrading it.

  65. 65.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    TZ, this one also (from the link I just sent you in email):

    "Sooner or later people are going to figure out that if all you run is negative attack ads you don’t have much of a vision for the future, or you’re not ready to articulate it."

    McCain in 2000

  66. 66.

    gbear

    it takes 35 minutes to get from Erect to Climax, in NC.

    It takes about 4-1/2 hours to get from Climax to Embarrass in MN, but that’s MN for you.

    And Stockholm is in Wisconsin.

  69. 69.

    mellowjohn

    jake said, "There’s a Versailles out there somewhere but I think that might be Ohio."

    there’s a versailles in illinois, but we pronounce it "ver-sayles." i think the final "s" came off the end of "illinoy."

  70. 70.

    ComradeJ. Michael Neal

    And Damascus is in Maryland, Vienna’s in Virginia, Paris is in Texas, Berlin is in New Hampshire, Lima’s in Ohio, Madrid’s in Alabama, Lisbon’s in Connecticut, Canton’s in New York, and Bethlehem’s in Pennsylvania.

    Pennsylvania also has Nazareth, home of my fantasy baseball team’s AA affiliate, the Nazareth Carpenters. Folks around here probably have a preference for my AAA team, the Windsor Canadians.

  71. 71.

    chopper

    "there’s no place for that kind of campaigning, and the American people don’t want it."

    that would be a good debate zinger for obama – "i agree with the john mccain of 6 months ago on both counts. i just wish the john mccain of today agreed with the john mccain of 6 months ago."

  72. 72.

    ThymeZone

    October 7, 2008
    Majority of Americans think depression "likely", Cramer calls it quits
    Blood on the streets around the world… England, France, U.S, emerging markets suffer historic declines
    Volatility spikes to record high… a historical look at what to expect next
    Fed cuts lending rate by 75 bps, but doesn’t tell anyone
    Dubai whistles past the graveyard… announces plans for another record-tall skyscraper. Here’s a cheery statistic for you: 60% of Americans say the United States will “likely” enter a depression soon, reads a CNN poll published this morning. Not recession, depression.
    The cable news syndicate showed a random selection of people 1930s statistics like 25% unemployment, widespread bank failures, market crashes and millions of families homeless and impoverished. 60% nodded their heads, saying such an outcome was “likely” in the near future.
    And you say we’re gloomy.
    “Whatever money you may need for the next five years,” Jim Cramer told the legions of Cramericans yesterday, “please take it out of the stock market right now.”
    Mr. “There’s always a bull market somewhere” officially checked out of the current market, suggesting that a the current drama could cause “as much as a 20% decrease in the stock market.”

    Okay, I for one am TURNING THE PAGE on this Gloomy Gus talk. I want more Ayers in my tires, and if that’s wrong then I don’t want to be Rev. Wright.

    Bring on the attacks! Sure, we are headed for breadlines, but at least we won’t be PALLIN AROUND WITH TERRORISTS.

    PLEASE SOMEBODY FUCK ME IN THE ASS WITH A SHARP STICK.

  73. 73.

    JGabriel

    More proof that McCain is trying to lose Florida:

    St. Petersburg Times (h/t Karen Tumulty at Swampland):

    As an apparent sign of the tension between the state party and the McCain campaign, Florida Republican Party chairman Jim Greer is welcome to attend the events, as long as he makes his own travel arrangements.

    Yeah, blowing off the state GOP chairman is a good idea in a state that the R’s only won through ground game/theft in the last two elections.

    .

  76. 76.

    Punchy

    the Nazareth Carpenters

    To Jewish folk (which I’m not, but have lots of friends that are), I bet that shit is funny.

  79. 79.

    Original Lee

    Maryland not only has Damascus, Oxford, and Cambridge, but also California, Pasadena, Hollywood, Waldorf, Paris, Severn, Friendship, Essex, Aberdeen, and Dunkirk.

    I happen to like Friendly, Shady Side and Morningside, but Arbutus is also a favorite. One of my favorite road signs says "To T.B," which is short for Timonium-Beantown Road.

  81. 81.

    OriGuy

    There seems to have been a 19th century fashion for naming towns after foreign places. Besides Brazil (locally pronounced BRAY-zil) and Peru (PAY-roo), there’s a wide spot in the road near Bloomington called Hindustan (hin-DOO-stun). While some of the places may have been named by homesick immigrants, like Warsaw, I think it is true, though, that people in those days thought education was a good thing.

    It’s a myth that Canton, Ohio and Pekin, Illinois (from Peking) were so named because the founders thought you could dig straight through the Earth to those cities. It’s true, though, that the Pekin high school teams were called the Chinks until 1980 when they were renamed the Dragons.

  82. 82.

    chopper

    Okay, I for one am TURNING THE PAGE on this Gloomy Gus talk. I want more Ayers in my tires, and if that’s wrong then I don’t want to be Rev. Wright.

    exactly. i mean, look at the major rally we saw on wall street today! things are great.

  83. 83.

    Zuzu Hussein's Petals

    More evidence there is some justice in the world:

    NAIROBI, Kenya — The American author of a best-selling book highly critical of Senator Barack Obama was detained by Kenyan immigration agents on Tuesday as he prepared to give a press conference in Nairobi.

    Jerome R. Corsi, the conservative gadfly who wrote “The Obama Nation,” in which he attacks the Democratic presidential candidate, was being held Tuesday because he was trying to work in Kenya without a valid work permit, according to local media reports. The reports said that Mr. Corsi would likely be deported.

    NY Times

    Edit: Is there some reason links can’t appear in blockquotes?

  85. 85.

    Zuzu Hussein's Petals

    Hi CIRCVS, sorry I didn’t see it before. I answered over there, but must disclaim that I am a real tech dummy.

    Also, I have had zero luck figuring out the line break thing, so if you find out … I’d love to know.

    Good luck !

  86. 86.

    scott

    Here in Misery we have Versailles (prounounced Vur Sales), Useful and right near me, Frankenstein.

  87. 87.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    Also, I have had zero luck figuring out the line break thing, so if you find out … I’d love to know.

    Well you did it in the your Corsi quote above. ;)

    I left another message for you on that thread.

    Thank you.

  88. 88.

    jake

    Maryland not only has Damascus, Oxford, and Cambridge, but also California, Pasadena, Hollywood, Waldorf, Paris, Severn, Friendship, Essex, Aberdeen, and Dunkirk.

    Salisbury, Westminster, Cumberland.

    We also have a Scaggsville but I just like to throw that out there because there are people who want to change the name to something less snicker-inducing.

    The reports said that Mr. Corsi would likely be deported.

    Maybe he’ll be found guilty of witchcraft.

  89. 89.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    We also have a Scaggsville but I just like to throw that out there because there are people who want to change the name to something less snicker-inducing.

    My brother used to laugh about Scaggsville all the time. LMAO – wow that brings back some memories.

    I always thought Chevy Chase was the coolest Maryland city name, considering I was a teenager and everyone thought SNL was the coolest show at that time.

  92. 92.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    Thank you Zuzu, you were a great help.

    :)

    I got what I needed. Much appreciated.

  93. 93.

    Sarcastro

    She’s like the female counterpart of Sven and Ollie.

    Sven and Sarah are standing on a pier:

    Sven: Sarah?

    Sarah: Ya Sven?

    Sven: Yoo cownt da shlits between da boards and I’ll cownt da boards.

    Sarah: Oo-kay Sven.

    Sven: Wan.

    Sarah: Wan.

    Sven: Too.

    Sarah: Too.

    Sven: Tree.

    Sarah: Tree.

    Sven: Four.

    Sarah: Fo… AHHHHHHHHH! SPLASH!

    Sven: Ven yur owt of shlits yur owt of pier.

  94. 94.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    boonagain, I couldn’t open that page, but I found a GOS diary on it – OMFG!

    Talbot reveals that Vogler, in 1993, arranged with Iran to provide him with a global pulpit to spew his hatred of the United States

    …

    The next time some news outlet or pundit devotes a second of coverage to the Ayers nontroversy, ask them why Sarah Palin has not once been asked about her very recent, very extensive ties to a genuinely anti-American group. Heck, seems like something even John McCain should have to address.

    OUCH! That’s gonna sting!

  95. 95.

    Zuzu Hussein's Petals

    Well you did it in the your Corsi quote above. ;)

    I know !

    Maybe it was because I used the buttons instead of entering the html code by hand.

    ‘Tis all a mystery to me.

    Edit: I see you posted that you got what you needed. Yay.

  96. 96.

    w vincentz

    I just got back from Narrow Notch. It’s a road near Rose’s Brook. I had to pick up a piggie for the bar-b-que business.
    I named it "Lipstick" before I put a bullet in its forehead.
    btw…Sarah is still an insult to America.

  98. 98.

    w vincentz

    @Polish the G,
    Think of how the folks in the DNC headquarters in Denver feel now that their windows were smashed with bricks by the GOP fascists.
    Yikes! Sarah’s "hate speech" is havin’ an effect, dontchaknow?
    You betcha!

  99. 99.

    Julie

    the mainstream media just keeps forgetting that Moscow is in Idaho. Also.

    Well, Mosc-oh is in Idaho and Mosc-ow is in Russia. It’s a subtle but important difference if you ask the locals.

    You don’t rule the world by going about it all scattershot

    Win! "Todd Gunderson, eh…"

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