Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

The willow is too close to the house.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

It’s time for the GOP to dust off that post-2012 autopsy, completely ignore it, and light the party on fire again.

Conservatism: there are some people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

Why did Dr. Oz lose? well, according to the exit polls, it’s because Fetterman won.

The revolution will be supervised.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

In my day, never was longer.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

All your base are belong to Tunch.

You are here: Home / Past Elections / Election 2008 / His KungFu Is Still Strong

His KungFu Is Still Strong

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The Kung Fu Monkey reacts to Rich Lowry’s sparklevision:

Modern American Conservatives have sunk to the intellectual and emotional level of the guy who thinks the stripper really likes him.

Palin terrifies me. She is Warren Ellis’ Smiler, in a way Bush never was. I cannot sense any core beliefs except … well except nothing. All I can see is the winking, giggling folksy void. They tell her to spew some bullshit, and she salutes smartly and sells the hell out of it. Asked to go forth and spread old canards about Senator Obama being a “friend of terrorists”, something she never seemed to show any interest in before, she does so not just efficiently but with a perky glee. The proper human response, when asked to say things like this about a political opponent and Senator of the United States is so fundamentally “fuck no” that it is the unheard test question immediately following “You’re in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you’re not helping — why is that?”

There’s no shame, no consideration, no apparent native curiousity … but even more creepily no resentment at being treated like a prop, no chafing at her handlers assuming she’ll say absolutely anything they put in front of her. How can a human exist so fueled by hubris but without an ego? My lizard brain is screaming.

Bladerunner reference FTW.

BTW- Atonement on HBO tonight- worth watching?

Reader Interactions

52Comments

  3. 3.

    gbear

    I swear I’m not stalking threads in order to be first. Just lucky.

    Steve Benen at The Washington Monthly made an interesting discovery (not blockquoted because the formatting falls apart anyway):

    A HISTORIC TICKET…. Now that Sarah Palin has been found to have abused her powers, violated state ethics, and lied about it, I did a little digging and found an interesting historical footnote.

    The McCain/Palin ticket is the first in American history in which both candidates were found to have violated ethics standards before a national election.

    McCain, of course, was admonished by Senate Ethics Committee "for exercising ‘poor judgment’ for intervening" with federal regulators on behalf of Charles Keating, as part of the infamous Keating Five scandal.

    And now McCain’s running mate has also been found to have violated state ethics laws and abused the powers of her office, as part of the "Troopergate" scandal.

    The nation has had 102 major-party tickets covering 51 presidential elections over more than two centuries. And we’ve never had a ticket in which both candidates on the same ticket were responsible for ethics violations before a national election. McCain/Palin is the first.

  5. 5.

    The Grand Panjandrum

    Modern American Conservatives have sunk to the intellectual and emotional level of the guy who thinks the stripper really likes him.

    So they were lying to me? I’m crushed. Thanks for screwing up my whole night.

  7. 7.

    Comrade Stuck

    Was just watching a NBC news segment showing video clips of several of Mccain’s events. One minute he’s telling the vipers in the crowd that they can’t trust Obama cause nobody really knows who he is. The next moment he’s tamping down nasty remarks from his un-dead faithful that Obama is Arab or some shady radical, by confirming that Obama is a decent American family man. Painful to watch this mad carnival called the Mccain Campaign. Pathetic doesn’t do it justice.

  9. 9.

    Jonothan8

    "…the guy who thinks the stripper really likes him."

    What a great line!

    ‘Atonement’ is shite – don’t bother.

  10. 10.

    donovong

    Atonement is not bad, really. But don’t drink too much before you watch it – you will need your brain intact to fully appreciate it.

  11. 11.

    DannyNoonan

    The hotness is strong with Keira Knightly. Oh, plus the script is good. It’s a flick worth watching.

    And if you want to view it the way Andy McCarthy sees the world, suck down some ether and a few shrooms before hand.

  13. 13.

    Slide

    they must be really dispirited over at NRO – there hasn’t been a post since 3:48 PM.

    Oh, I enjoyed Atonement. But then again I am easily amused.

  14. 14.

    oh really

    The great thing about American Right Wingers is that no amount of evidence, however credible, could get most of them to admit that Palin has done anything wrong. And no evidence at all is more than enough for them to proclaim Barack Obama a traitor, terrorist, Muslim, etc.

    One really does have to marvel at the depth of both the stupidity and the depravity of the Modern Republican.

  15. 15.

    cyntax

    ….All I can see is the winking, giggling folksy void.

    When you stare into Caribou Barbie, Caribou Barbie stares back at you.

  16. 16.

    kommrade jakevich

    All I can see is the winking, giggling folksy void.

    My God. It’s full of stars.

    OT: Palin booed in Philly at the hockey game.

    It is a well known fact that every citizen of Philadelphia is the gay clone of Wm. Ayers. City of Brotherly Love? Helloooo!

  17. 17.

    brent

    Warren Ellis’ Smiler seems like a rather obscure point of reference to me. One of my favorite characters, but I doubt that more than 1 person in 5 got that one.

  18. 18.

    A Different Matt

    I liked Atonement. It’s definitely a pay-attention kinda movie, though, as a lot of the tension is unspoken. Some dudes contribute to the war by lobbying the British Govt to include their chocolate bars in soldier’s MRE’s, whereas some contribute to the war by actually fighting and losing their lives and loved ones. Lots of class tension.

    the way the star of the movie gets drafted is pretty crafty plot development. Not to get too vague, but I don’t want to spoil anything. It’s a good movie if you’re in the right mood for something dramatic.

    and yeah, keira knightly’s beautiful in this movie.

  19. 19.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    The McCain/Palin ticket is the first in American history in which both candidates were found to have violated ethics standards before a national election.

    Jesus washes all that shit away for white folks.

  20. 20.

    Zuzu's Petals

    It shouldn’t surpise anyone that her "mavericky" governorship was mostly the work of a paid PR flack in the first place:

    During her first months in office, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin kept a relatively light schedule on her workdays in Juneau, making ceremonial appearances at sports events and funerals, meeting with state lawmakers, and conducting interviews with Alaska magazines, radio stations and newspapers.

    But this spring, Palin’s official calendar chronicles an extraordinary rise to national prominence. A fresh face in Republican politics, she was discovered by the national news media at least in part because of a determined effort by a state agency to position her as an oil and gas expert who could tout Alaska’s determined effort to construct a natural gas pipeline.

    …..

    An outside public relations expert hired under a $31,000 contract with the state Department of Natural Resources pitched the "upstart governor" as a crusader against Big Oil, a story line that Palin has adopted in her campaign as Sen. John McCain’s running mate. The contract was the only time the Palin administration hired an outside consultant to set up media interviews, a function performed in many states by government employees.

    WaPo, via MSNBC

  21. 21.

    Wesosan

    I saw some high school girls at the mall today, talking about high school girl things, and they sounded 100% like Sarah Palin when she said "This is not a man who sees America as you and I do," with a pouty little look on her face. It was such a surreal moment.

    On Atonement: The book is better, of course.

  24. 24.

    necros

    Favorite quote from Atonement: "In my dreams I kiss your [Cindy McCain], your sweet wet [Cindy McCain]."

  25. 25.

    Nylund

    My take on Atonement, 90% spoiler free:

    Imagine a basic plotline from a Threes Company episode where through a zany set of misunderstandings, Chrissy thinks Jack and Janet are doing something they are actually not doing.

    Instead of this resulting in mildly funny (and very dumb) situational comedy as it would in Threes Company, here it results in a very tedious and painfully endless melodrama where Chrissy ruins everyone’s lives, something she could stop at any moment, but inexplicably does not.

    Then, imagine that the producers realized that this movie really sucked and brought in M. Night Shyamalan to add a surprise twist ending that is not nearly interesting enough to justify all the time you wasted watching this piece of crap.

    Admittedly, the sexy Keira Knightly bits almost make the first half worth watching, but you could probably youtube them.

  26. 26.

    necros

    OT: Palin booed in Philly at the hockey game.

    Two people in the background were waving Obama signs and a larger group of people were giving her the thumbs down.

  27. 27.

    t jasper parnell

    @brent: Didn’t the "Smiler" guy play the wierdo from Lady from Shangahai?

    By the way, Army of Shadows followed by A Man Escaped.

  28. 28.

    JL

    @kommrade jakevich: Palin’s comments about Obama not being like us is creating a division like we have not seen since the Wallace days., It is important not only for McCain to denounce this but for all of us to denounce this. McCain started to back down because he was approached by whom? IMO, he was not approached by the Secret Service but some one else, such as the FBI. I think that it is not only important to vote but to vote early. I live in GA and who knows what whackos will come down from the hills to make sure that McCain will win. Oh, FYI, my comments are actually informed comments, so vote early.

  29. 29.

    Nylund

    An analogy on Atonement:

    Imagine that George Bush wrote a very catchy song about his presidency only in his song, unlike in real life, in the last verse he adds a bit where he fixes everything that is wrong with America.

    He makes tons of money with his song and thinks everything is ok because in his song, everything ended ok, even though everything is still fucked in the real world. And everyone else loves him too because his song proves that he really didn’t WANT to fuck up anything and its the thought that counts.

  32. 32.

    boonagain

    We have a huge (for us) event in our County for the next ten days ( Covered Bridge Festival) with lots of greasy food and Flea Markets.

    I was shopping at one Booth with my 7 yo daughter who wanted to buy a canvas tote with Chihuahuas on it. I took it to the owner to pay for it, looked down and saw LOTS of McCain /Palin T shirts . One of them had Obama in Muslim garb. I just looked at the T’s , put the tote down and walked away.

    How stupid do you have to be to maybe alienate over half of your potential customers just so you can show your allegiance to those losers?

    Of course, this is rural Indiana so they probably had a little better odds than nationally.

  35. 35.

    kommrade jakevich

    Of course, this is rural Indiana so they probably had a little better odds than nationally.

    Except the people with the money come from elitist latte-lapping enclaves like Bloomington and Nashville (unless I mean Columbus).

    Man, I am so glad I’m not out there right now.

  38. 38.

    Kathleen

    I thought Atonement was great, and definitely worth watching.

    I had already read the book, not sure if that made a difference.

    I hate to be all "you just didn’t get it" to the criticisms above, but really, you just didn’t get it.

  39. 39.

    Don

    The TRANSMETROPOLITAN reference is way more awesome than the Blade Runner one. Fantastic comic series.

    Jesus, I’d sell half my soul to get a real-life Spider Jerusalem out doing journalism to the world today.

    Filthy assistants! To me!

  40. 40.

    Ken J

    re: Atonement:: catch the outstanding performance by the young girl Saorise Ronan, whose character is so tightly wound that she only moves in straight lines and right angles. Also of movie-geek note: the 11-minute, apparently uncut, shot of the chaos of the evacuation of Dunkirk.

    I thought it was a pretty good film, probably 4 out of five stars. A very literary movie.

  41. 41.

    handy

    The one-take shot at the evacuation of Dunkirk was a neat bit of cinematic wizardry. Catch that scene if nothing else. The rest, to my tastes, was a couple hours of typical period-piece chick flickness.

  42. 42.

    Octavian

    I just watched Atonement and thought it a wonderful film. But I can understand why many people do not like it.

  43. 43.

    gbear

    @M:

    Speaking of Blade Runner…

    LOL. Thanks for that link. I loved this comment.

    It’s Raining Florence Henderson Said,
    October 9, 2008 @ 2:59 pm

    Gibson: She’s a moron, isn’t she?
    Tyrell: I’m impressed. How many questions does it usually take to spot them?
    Gibson: I don’t get it, Tyrell.
    Tyrell: How many questions?
    Gibson: Twenty, thirty, cross-referenced.
    Tyrell: It took no more than two for Palin, didn’t it?
    Gibson: [realizing Sarah believes she’s normal] She doesn’t know.
    Tyrell: She’s beginning to suspect, I think.
    Gibson: Suspect? How can she not know how stupid she is?
    Tyrell: Well… She’s a moron, isn’t she?

  44. 44.

    Brachiator

    There’s no shame, no consideration, no apparent native curiousity … but even more creepily no resentment at being treated like a prop, no chafing at her handlers assuming she’ll say absolutely anything they put in front of her. How can a human exist so fueled by hubris but without an ego? My lizard brain is screaming

    Here is Gore Vidal on Sarah Palin:

    — Oh my god, She’s on! Breaking news: Bailout vote … but there She is, The Queen of Alaska. She’s deigned to come down from her icy lair….

    It’s a role, and She’s being a good sport about it, you know. Also, She’s so pleased with herself. It’s almost a match for her partner — remind me of his name? John McCain. They’re both in the final throes of self-love, out of their minds with admiration, he for himself, she for herself. For her to start lecturing the senator from Delaware [Joe Biden] shows that she cannot know the voice of an intelligent person. Otherwise, she’d be in some awe of him — "but these people aren’t important" [she thinks]; "I’m important; they want to take My picture." It’s the politics of celebrity, non-celebrities who have tricked themselves into thinking they are.

  45. 45.

    b. hussein canuckistani (comrade)

    gbear wins the interweb for tonight. I never get tired of Blade Runner refs.

  50. 50.

    Lesley

    I once worked with a person much like Sarah Palin. She was a pure opportunist. Whatever it took to get ahead. Palin is fixated on the VP title and status, the high profile, the hob knobbing, the nice house in Washington, the power. Integrity has nothing to do with it. She is utterly vacuous. Everything she does, from attending church to encouraging her kid to marry at 17 (?) to agreeing to run for VP is driven by her need to excel, succeed, and be noticed, nothing more. (Btw, the person I worked with sabotaged numerous people, stabbed others in the back, and has now climbed her way into an executive assistant position. She is the most incompetent bumbling asshole I’ve ever met and she has risen to the level of her incompetence. The executive she serves is much like her, so it’s no surprise he hired her.)

  51. 51.

    D-Chance.

    [META crap]

    A. Time to go back to 10-15 posts per page.

    B. I thought nothing was as annoying as the 50% "WordPress" error rates in accessing this site. I was wrong… the Black Void of Commentary Death at the bottoms of every page that goes more than 125 or more comments tops it.

  52. 52.

    ShadowboxerWV

    I LOVED atonement but I am an emotional girly girl that has a bad habit myself of making everything far more complicated than it really should be and not walking away when I should. HA. That is what a guy will think of that movie – "so, what’s the problem here?"

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