While the son of William F. Buckley may no longer be pure enough for the National Review and the GOP, I would suggest this patriot and hero to the party surely is:
A new father has secretly named his baby girl Sarah McCain Palin after the Republican ticket for president and vice president.
Mark Ciptak of Elizabethton put that name on the documents for the girl’s birth certificate, ignoring the name Ava Grace, which he and his wife had picked earlier.
“I don’t think she believes me yet,” he told the Kingsport Times-News for a story to be published Tuesday. “It’s going to take some more convincing.”
Dedication like that should surely be enough to offer him a lucrative gig posting at the Corner. After all, when you are down to posting rumors and innuendo, quality control and intellectual heft are not really first order hiring principles. I would suggest that this guy has the dedication to the cause that is needed to continue the fight against the liberal fascists.
In all seriousness, Tim and I im’d back and forth, and we both agree this is one of the saddest things we have ever heard. Not even telling your wife?
ET
He shows as much respect for his wife as McCain and Palin show for the American people.
If my husband did this he may be sleeping in a different house for a long, long time. And it wouldn’t because of the name he chose or they why behind it. It would be because of his incredible duplicity.
Kenneth Guffnagle
When the kid grows up, he can party with Thomas McGovern Eagleton and Jack Dole Kemp, and the rest of the Campaign Coulda-Been Kids.
dBa
Honey, I changed our babies name to a VPILF who I’m lusting after…hope you don’t mind.
Bitty
How can you "secretly" name a baby when (1) the birth certificate is public record, and (2) you call up the news to tell them?
Ah, he lied to his wife?
"Secret" is out.
Stooleo
Well I’m sure in 1929 some idiot named his boy Charles Hoover Curtis.
Eric U.
My experience is the hospital staff doesn’t trust the wife, and all such questions are handled by the father. This obviously is incredibly stupid and the wrong thing to do in any case.
I don’t think it’s that bad, at least the jerk didn’t name his son Sarah McCain Palin. Or something incredibly stupid like Trig.
Lee
My wife is a veterinarian.
If I did that, I would wake up one morning neutered.
Comrade Dreggas
She’ll be on Dr. Phil by the time she’s ten.
Dork
WOW. This implies she hasn’t even seen the actual certificate yet. He literally went around her back and signed some phony, made-up name.
I can only imagine what my wife, an Obama supporter, would do if I secretly named my cracker kid "Barak Huessien Obama Biden". I’d be a dead, and probably divorced, man, in that order.
dBa
…oh, and could you pick me up a six-pack on the way home from the Hospital.
Dr.BDH
Hey, I secretly named my first boy Vladimir Mao Stalin, my second Spider Super Batman, and my third Keith Mick Richards Jagger. What’s wrong with that? As long as my wife never finds out, it’s cool.
Stevenovitch
I like how he thinks he’s the one making the sacrifice while his daughter has to go through life with a goofy name from a failed political movement that she was too young to remember.
Idiot.
NonyNony
Oh dear Grod.
This man needs an ass-kicking. If he were married to my wife he’d get one too. And his poor kid – that’s the type of thing that makes your kid grow up to be a far-left dirty hippie once they get into their rebellious stage. (Who wants to be saddled with a middle name of "McCain" unless there’s some cool family history behind it? Yeesh.)
As far as the hospital staff "trusting" the husband more – in my case I filled out all of the paperwork for my wife because she slept through most of her recovery. So I think it may be a logistic thing more than anything else.
As a side note – I’ll bet there’s a surge in the number of girls who are given the name "Sarah" this year in the midwest and south. Just a hunch.
Krista
God, that poor kid. She’s named after an idiot, and sired by an idiot.
And to anybody who says it’s always better for the kid’s dad to be in the picture, we now have Exhibit A for the opposition.
Svensker
My cousin went to court, secretly, and had her young son’s last name changed to her own maiden name. When her husband found out, he was not surprisingly, furious. Anyone shocked that they divorced shortly thereafter?
Loneoak
10:1 the kid is a lifelong Democrat just out of spite.
20:1 universal health care saves her life at some point.
30:1 she will be way smarter than her namesake.
Liz
Holy crap. If my husband pulled that level of shit on me, he’d be out on his ass AND paying for the name change fees. He and McLame/Mooselini deserve each other.
Delia
It could be worse. The moran could have named the poor child after one of the Moose Queen’s own daughters — Bristol, Willow, or Piper. Sarah is at least a recognizable name.
That being said, I believe for a fee you can change the name on a birth certificate, and if the mother of the child has any backbone, which she may not, she’ll make her idiot husband pay whatever it takes. It would have been cheaper and more honest for him to donate to the candidate of his choice. But he wouldn’t have gotten his fifteen minutes.
Dennis - SGMM
As long as he was at it, why didn’t he just name her Titanic Hindenburg New Coke?
Comrade Kevin
I see a divorce in that guy’s future.
Rick Taylor
This line is old, but can you imagine what right winger’s would be saying if someone named their son after Obama?
JWeidner
It’s really just sad. There’s nothing else to say about it.
As to the hospital "trusting" one parent over the other to fill in the birth certificate – I doubt that’s the case. For both my boys, I was the one to fill in the certificate – my wife had just pushed 6+ lb babies out for God’s sake! All she wanted to do was rest and hold our boys. She trusted ME to fill in the certificate with the names we had picked together.
In this particular case, I hope this woman smacks her husband silly, then goes down to the courthouse some day while he’s at work and secretly changes the girl’s name back.
aimai
Titanic *Edsel* Hindenburg New Coke, please.
aimai
Krista
Actually, I think Piper and Willow are very pretty names. It’s a shame that they’ve been forever spoiled in my mind due to the association with that horrible woman.
And yeah, part of me wondered at first if it was just a lame publicity stunt, but I don’t know if a Palin fan would have been clever enough to know that the secrecy angle would be what would hook the media’s attention.
Either way, it’s really quite pathetic and sad.
Ash Can
To do that to a woman who’s just given birth is to invite suffering and death too horrible to contemplate.
Charity
She’s probably one of those "surrendered wives."
‘Anything you say, dear!’
VOMIT.
My husband (then boyfriend) and I had more discussion on what to name our CATS.
linda
tennessee.
linda
this can’t possibly be true, could it. doesn’t state law require both parents sign the friggin document. but, then, as i noted above, it is tennessee.
Jay
As much as I hate to say it this doesn’t surprise me at all. I live about 30 minutes from Elizabethton and this is the typical mindset in that area.
Jackmormon
"Ava Grace" is a very pretty name.
pendragon
Sweet jumping Jesus. The poor kid can change her name when she gets old enough. I’m sure she’ll want to by then.
The stain of McCain and posse.
Hopefully psychiatric therapy will help her.
Edsel Socialized Comrade Bailout Rescue would have been a better name if he wants to memorialize a hopeless Republican campaign.
John Cole
It isn’t that they named their kid after a politician- that is kind of normal and there is a long history of it. It is that he DID IT WITHOUT TELLING HIS WIFE.
That is what is crazy and tragic and sad.
Capelza Gradenko
Delia…I got to step up here and say that Willow is a fairly common name in these parts (hippies!). I like Piper, too…Bristol, not bad…
I mean you can only name so many kids Dakota (another common one here) or Cody or Ashley (yikes, my husband’s grandkid has four in her pre-school class.
My niece and nephew are named Scott and Jennifer, as are a million other kids in the 70’s and 80’s. In my Class, the number of girls with my exact first and middle name was staggering. So having a unique name…not so weird.
Track and Trig, a bit more unusual…but then I know a kid named "Mister" (hippies!)…I won’t even mention the name of my son, it might really freak you out…but it is an ancient name chosen for it’s significance to fishing.
There is so much wrong with the Palins, but the names of their kids..not so much.
But beyond that, regarding the sneaky father what a jerk. If my husband pulled that, he’d be toast and he knows it. Though we might see some Obama babies here as well in the coming years.
Zuzu's Petals
Well I jokingly refer to my soon-to-be-born granddaughter as "little Hope-Change Hussein."
It got a laugh the first couple of times.
Lee
In Texas both (if present) have to sign the document.
You have a week to pick a name, and even then you can change it for a small fee up to X time later (I forget the timeframe).
Comrade Nikolita
What an asshole. I’d make him change the child’s name back if I were the mother, and then consider dumping his ass for pulling such a stunt.
People who do this to their kids should be shot. It’s not funny, it’s not cute, and it’s certainly not smart. Kids who grow up with New Age, hippy names (like the really cracked up shit, much of which can be found here: http://www.notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/15.html ) are the ones who suffer. Sometimes I wonder if parents should have to pass a common sense test or earn a licence before they’re allowed to breed.
In this case, it’s just sad and pathetic. Poor little baby.
Lee
I did not realize that Capelza Gradenko was so popular ;)
binzinerator
He’s followin’ his fantasy VPILF’s example, also. Palin told a lie to her own kids about going to Nevada for a governer’s conf, but went instead to St. Paul to meet Johnny Drama and accept the nom.
Lying to one’s spouse and/or one’s kids about important life decisions that will affect them all their lives are celebrated as traditional family values in gooper world.
It also reminds me of the goopers’ idea of bi-partisanship.
Delia
State law in California doesn’t. When my kids were born many years ago my husband filled out the certificates and signed them because I had a rough time in delivery and was out of it for a while. He did fill it out the way we agreed, though.
FWIW, he changed his middle name after he reached adulthood because it sucked. I’ve also known people who changed their entire name just because they wanted to.
Rook
Man, do I smell a divorce in their future.
Krista
E-zactly. If they had both agreed to it, they’d be considered a bit weird, but it wouldn’t be so shocking. And at least Sarah is a pretty name.
It’s the sneaking that is so shocking. It doesn’t matter whether he decided to name the kid Sarah McCain Palin, Mooseburger Queen Deluxe, or Ann. It’s the fact that he went behind his wife’s back and changed the baby’s name. For many women, that’d be a deal-breaker, or at the very least, an extremely long time in the doghouse.
Capelza Gradenko
Oh yes! Of course one of the girls, in an effort to individualize their name spelled it Kapelza Gradinko…or shortened it to Kappie, Kapsy, Denko or just started calling themselves Natasha…
Comrade Kevin
Which is how the baseball player Milton Bradley got his name.
Punchy
Yes, if you’re an airplane or tree.
Shinobi
Does anyone have this poor woman’s e-mail address? I’d like to send her a list of good divorce attorneys.
If he can go behind your back and RE NAME YOUR KID, what else is he willing to do? What a fucker. Get out while the baby is still too young to remember him!
Dennis - SGMM
Some day in the future: "You named me after WHAT?"
eyelessgame
(blockquote appears to be screwed up)
"Actually, I think Piper and Willow are very pretty names."
"Yes, if you’re an airplane or tree."
Or a witch.
Comrade Nicole
Bait?
eyelessgame
I know a number of unfortunate young women today who are named Reagan. I’m not certain this is due to excessive wingnuttery on the part of their parents, but I have my suspicions.
Bush Quayle Henderson
I don’t get it.
r€nato
this poor kid is going to demand a name change when she’s old enough to realize what daddy did to her.
And the wife should cut him off without sex until he changes the baby’s name back.
Not because of the politics… because of the duplicity.
MBL
Piper Perabo and Willow Rosenberg have made it certain that I will never have anything bad to say about either of those names.
Capelza Gradenko
For you folks that still harsh on the Palin kids’ names…is every kid not named Debbie, Cheryl, Cindy, or Patty suspect? Yeah, I dated myself. Also those ambivilent names, Robin, Kim, Lynn, Caroll, Evelyn, etc.. that were popular in the 50’s.
Are names like Rose and Ivy bad, too? Or any unusual name that has a literary refernce.
Scout Finch.
One of the bestest names for a girl ever. If I had had a daughter, that’d be her name.
alyosha
While this is pretty sad and in keeping with wingnut mentality, I knew an Ayn Randian who named his kids after the characters in her books. Little Atlas is being homeschooled also.
Julie
Ava Grace is a very pretty name, if a little trendy. Much prettier than Sarah, even without the extra baggage. Either way, this guy sounds like a giant douchnozzle.
rob!
…if she complains, the husband can always call his wife a trollop, or maybe the c-word. i hear that’s what "mavericks" do.
i actually don’t think the kid will suffer that much. by the time its old enough to be teased by other kids, McCain will most likely be dead, and Sarah Palin will be completely forgotten.
Zuzu's Petals
Matthew McConaughey’s brother named his kid Miller Lyte McConaughey.
Xenos
@Capelza Gradenko:
I thought Scout was the girl’s nickname. It is an outstanding name, however, not least of all because it demonstrates the parents’ good taste and appreciation for the moral authority and strength of their children.
Man, just thinking about some books makes me sentimental.
Kitty
Ahhh. Wholesome "Family Values".
Garrigus Carraig
It’s still lame and sad, though, in a republic.
zzyzx
So is today the first day ever where the Dow has both been up 400 and down 300? I’m glad I’m not hired to predict the market.
That One - Cain
The original name was really nice, I have no idea why he changed it. He’s not helping his team. Are people supposed to be inspired by a guy who changed his daughter’s name without telling his wife? I guess if he had told his wife she would have said no. She’s probably was leaning Obama or something. heh.
cain
Indylib
When Caribou Barbie first came on the scene and they put out the name of her kids, I thought Willow and Piper were named after characters from Buffy and Charmed.
The irony hurts my head.
Davis X. Machina
f the Moose Queen’s own daughters—Bristol, Willow, or Piper. Sarah is at least a recognizable name.
I look forward to the day when Bristol "Bristol(s)" Palin has to travel in the UK.
greynoldsct00
That’s some stupid that REALLY hurts… unfuckingbelievable
Echoes without Bunnies or Men
Well that’s how it works in red amurica; the man of the house does the decidin’ and his little woman will just have to take it…doesn’t matter if she likes it or not. I mean, she’s just a woman who is a slave to her irrational emotions anyhow. Meanwhile the man is the strong one who makes the tough decisions.
I’m sure she’ll realize her folly in trying to give their daughter a normal name soon enough.
Interrobang
I don’t think it’s sad, I think it’s scary. If he’s willing to completely disregard his relationship with his wife to the point where he’s named their daughter without consulting her and without telling her — and then made it public without telling her, he’s not right in a very specific way. If I were in charge, I’d have him on a watch list for domestic violence. Seriously. He pretty obviously thinks both his wife and his kid are his property, to do with as he pleases. I personally would not be surprised at all if he’s tuning up on her as well, since that kind of behaviour screams "Abuser!!"
They may very well not get divorced; if he’s the way I suspect he is, he’s probably married to a very carefully-cultivated, isolated doormat. He picked her because she was vulnerable in the first place, and then has spent the entire time they’ve been together making sure she’s dependent. I wouldn’t be surprised, though, if she winds up in the local women’s shelter at some point.
Brian J
I’m not married yet, but I can imagine that’s not going to go over very well with the wife. I hope there aren’t a lot of lighters or bottles of kerosene in that household, or his shit’s gone!
Tom65
My god, someone call Family Services!
Bill
Hatriotism
lane
There are waaayyyy too many comments on – if I did that – I am no longer male
Really.
Giant pile of BS.
greynoldsct00
Aw c’mon, don’t you know Sarah got her blessings against witchcraft at church?
Mitch Donahue
This dispatch is from eastern Tennessee, folks, where the mullet is the hot new ‘do,
NonyNony
I don’t think state law could require that. Because you don’t always have "both parents". Usually either guardian for a kid can sign legal documents.
Caramon
http://www.flickr.com/photos/heatherichardson/2934794403/
What a fucking idiot. I hope his wife has already divorced him.
slippytoad
The cult of Sarah! is one of the most hilarious excrescences of the dead-end conservative movement. A willfully naive urge to fix the hopes of their movement’s survival on literally one of the most ignorant, ill-informed twits ever to surface in public office.
I have been looking at the Sarah! signs that have popped up in the yards along my morning running route. Those are going to be worth something in a few years, only because they will be so rare.
anticontrarian
what a shitbird. geezis.
Товарищ НеинтереснаяСобака
Dagon? Bokrug?
HumboldtBlue
Scout Finch …
Scout is Jean Louise’s nickname, not her given name. Great nick, that’s for sure. If I’d had a boy I would have seriously considered Atticus.
LiberalTarian
Good grief. Do you have any idea how important baby names are to a mother??? I had acquaintances in high school who were best friends, then after a couple years, figured out they had both picked the same girls name. It was kinda dorky, in my opinion (Shandy Lee, see what I mean), but I tell ya, it broke up their friendship.
I dunno. I don’t care how much a dormat the little lady is, she is not going to be cool with this. That dude is never, ever going to hear the end of this.
James F. Elliott
That dude’s wife is going to kick his ass.
HRA
I had an aunt who went through the same scene. My uncle took their baby daughter to his church and had her baptized after his mother. When he went to work one day, my aunt took their baby daughter and had her baptized in her church with the name she had picked out. I never liked my name. I asked my parents why didn’t you name me after my grandmothers -they had the same first name. "Oh we couldn’t do that. It’s your cousin’s real name." She has never ever used the first name.
Comrade Nixon Hailfire Palin
His wife should sue to have his name changed to Giant Douchnozzle.
Raoul Paste
Poor judgement.
And he votes Republican. Who woulda thunk it?
Jim
I’m from Tennessee, and my kid’s name is Mullet. Furthermore – absolutely true story – I went to school with a girl named Herletta Farta. Oh – and my grandson’s middle name is "Bullet." When I asked my son (the daddy) about this, he said, "What kid wouldn’t rule at school with a name like that?"
Notorious P.A.T.
Haha )
While we’re talking about baby names:
"Baby Names"
Capelza Gradenko
No…and it’s not bait either! :P
I don’t want to say it online. It’s singular enough to find him. Don’t want to bring my kids into the tubes.
mapaghimagsik
@eyelessgame:
Or a Peck!
couldn’t resist
mapaghimagsik
Or a Peck!
Jim
OK, so I lied about my kid being named Mullet – but it does rhyme with Bullet.
And let’s not forget this – the Sarah Palin name generator:
http://politsk.blogspot.com/2008/09/sarah_13.html
Splitting Image
She’ll turn into a Joseph Heller fan. Count on it.
"I have named our son Caleb", said Major Major’s father, "in accordance with your wishes." – Catch-22. The truth came out when little Major Major Major applied to school.
Clutch414
@Comrade Nicole:
Maybe it’s Twenty Pound Test.
BethanyAnne
Heh. Reminds me of the girl named "Talula Does the Hula from Hawaii" who got a court to take pity on her at 9. It allowed her to change her name, even though she was still a minor.
Comrade Darkness
Sextant?
Oh, wait, I know. Rhyme. That’s a great name.
This posting reminded me of a joke. So this very pregnant woman gets in a car crash and goes into a coma. When she wakes up, the nurse says, "while you were unconscious you gave birth to twins: a boy and a girl, and your brother named them and took them home."
And the woman says, "oh dear lord, not my brother, he’s an idiot. What in the world did he name them?"
And the nurse replies, "well the girl is named Denise."
And the woman exhales in relief and says, "oh, that’s a nice name, what about the boy?"
"deNephew."
Zuzu's Petals
Barbara Hershey (aka Seagull) had a kid by one of the Carradine brothers whom she named Free. When he got old enough to ask, they said it meant he was free to choose whatever name he wanted.
He named himself Tom.
Quaker in a Basement
What was his major?
Nixon Agnew
Your last name is Henderson? That’s weird!
Glenn Hauman
For what it’s worth, my mother did change my name without telling my dad. I was originally supposed to be named Bret, after Bret Maverick. My mother thought I would have been named after a horse that won big the weekend I was born, and so…
comrade rawshark
Castor?
No it doesn’t.
Conservatively Liberal
I too predict that a divorce is in this idiots future. As far as the father signing stuff, while my wife was out cold and resting after the birth of our first child, I was asked if she wanted a tubal ligation and if so for me to sign for it. I had full control over my wife’s reproductive rights and it just floored me at the time. I passed on the ‘offer’ because I knew I wanted to stay married (and alive), but I thought it was wrong of them to give me that option without getting her permission first.
I got to name our daughter and I blew it filling out the paperwork, giving her an extra ‘n’ in her first name (it’s a long first name). My wife noticed it right away and I was all for getting it corrected (the certificates had already been issued) but she wanted our daughter to make that decision when she was older. Our daughter has always known about it and as an adult now she is keeping it the way it is. She thinks the story around it is cool and it makes her name a bit different than it would have been.
My wife named our son, and she spelled it right. Damn. ;)
Jay Severin Has A Small Pen1s
Not sure if anyone noticed the irony/idiocy of the guy who renamed his newborn Sarah McCain Palin and didn’t tell his wife.
So, in celebration of someone who ’empowers’ women you strip away the power of the women you are married to and name the baby yourself.
Nice move, dude. I give your marriage six months.
Jim
Mull-ay? This is Tennessee, pal. No French here.
Quaker in a Basement
I once knew a guy who made his wife run down to the DMV to pick up his license plates.
She got them personalized.
He regretted his decision.
mapaghimagsik
When I have a child, I’m naming him Bobby ‘; DROP TABLE STUDENTS —
Little Bobby Tables. Thank you xkcd!
Conservatively Liberal
Let me guess, she chose: IMLAZY
Comrade E.B. Misfit
"Comrade Boring Dog?"
Is that correct?
Lesley
Why give your kid a name that is guaranteed to be ridiculed?
CRUELTY, THY NAME IS NEOCON.
Left Coast Tom
Bristol Bay is in southwestern Alaska. Just sayin. Also.
That still doesn’t begin to rise to the level of changing the poor kid’s name, knowing full well he and his wife had already agreed on a perfectly nice name.
TrishB
I went to school with Kelly Kelly (yes, that’s first and surname) and Mary Chris (no, not Mary Christine, but Mary Christmas – born on 12/25). Some parents are just clueless.
slammin' sammy
This is too rich. He can’t afford to support these guys financially, yet he is naming his own child as an affirmation of the same political philosophy that ensures he is unable to do so. The irony screams from the page.
jbarntt
I hope this moron spent the money for a comfy couch, he’s gonna need it. Good luck to him on having another child, or at least getting the oppurtunity to try.
On edit:
Original name for the girl was Ava Grace, as in two famous actresses’s from the 1950’s ?
Delia
Late News Update
There may be hope for this child, if not for the father. From the Raw Story account:
Anyone who can figure out what Mark was actually saying in that last paragraph wins the thread. At least he has some in-laws who will beat some sense into him.
Splitting Image
@Quaker in a Basement:
English history, but he changed it to American literature after the FBI opened a file on him.
me
"Anyone who can figure out what Mark was actually saying in that last paragraph wins the thread."
He was saying "I am a fundie, fear my mystical powers". Not sure realising that’s enough to obtain TEH WIN, though.
Patrick
Back in segregationist Texas, I grew up with a guy named States Rights Lawrence. Everybody called him "State."
Josh Huaco
What did it say, "2inches"?