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Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

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Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

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Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

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I was promised a recession.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

All your base are belong to Tunch.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

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The revolution will be supervised.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

You are here: Home / The Gift That Keeps On Giving

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

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Sarah Palin, last night:

“If I called all the shots, and if I could wave a magic wand,” Palin told her traveling press corps as she stood on the tarmac here, “I would be sitting at a kitchen table with more and more Americans, talking to them about our plan to get the economy back on track and winning the war and not having to rely on the old conventional ways of campaigning that includes those robocalls and includes spending so much money on the television ads that, I think, is kind of draining out there in terms of Americans’ attention span.”

Barack Obama, today:

Brutal. Is there anyway we can get Bobby Jindal in on this act so we can take out the entire GOP farm team on November 4th?

Reader Interactions

83Comments

  2. 2.

    Svensker

    She COULD wave a magic wand and sit at the dinner table with more and more Americans. It’s called a press conference, televised on this amazing device known as a television.

  3. 3.

    Comrade Jake

    I love the way the Obama campaign works this kind of thing into the stump speeches SO goddamn quickly. I mean, the difference in agility between these two campaigns is striking.

  5. 5.

    p.a.

    Maybe Jindal can be prevailed upon to exorcise Obama’s Muslim metichlorians from his DNA! Use the force, Bob…

  6. 6.

    DonnaInMichigan

    Well only if Obama agreed to those town halls with John McCain……………………

  8. 8.

    Comrade Jake

    The other thing I’ll mention: more than a few talking heads on the teevee have described the complaints about McCain’s robocalls as real "inside-baseball" type politics. WTF? Don’t most people know what these calls are? Or is it just that they think so few people know how slimy the McCain calls have become?

    My wife, who really tries to stay away from politics, emailed me last week about the calls. She’d found out about them from a friend who’d forwarded a story. The subject line of her email: "I hate John McCain". I think the press has no idea just how many people are aware of the calls.

  9. 9.

    SGEW

    “If I called all the shots, and if I could wave a magic wand . . . ."

    -Gov. Sarah Palin

    "I wish I could simply wave a magic wand and lower gas prices tomorrow . . . ."

    – Pres. George W. Bush

    Get these people their magic fucking wands, already! If we had magic wands, everything would be just peachy!

  11. 11.

    Brachiator

    @SGEW:

    “If I called all the shots, and if I could wave a magic wand . . . ."

    I strongly suspect that some of Bush’s speech writers are contributing material for Palin. But of course, McCain/Palin is not connected in any way to the Bush Administration, nope, not at all. They’re all mavericky. You betcha!

  12. 12.

    comrade scott

    I think the press has no idea refuses to report on just how many people are aware of the calls.

    Fixed. Your liberal elite and plain ole liberal media inaction.

  14. 14.

    SamFromUtah

    @SGEW: Get these people their magic fucking wands, already!

    Heh, but no thanks. A world with magic wands in the hands of people like that would contain a population muttering "happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts…"

  15. 15.

    J.

    My suspicion: Lorne Michaels is holding the real Sarah Palin hostage and that was Tina Fey out there in Colorado Springs.

    Don’t worry too much about Bobby Jindahl (for now), John. There’s a strong wind a’comin’ to Louisiana that will either temper him or blow him out of office.

  16. 16.

    SamFromUtah

    @KRK: Freepers have discovered that Obama hypnotizes people with the cadence of his speeches and forces them to support him against their will.

    Damn, it really is the 1980s all over again. Wasn’t that when the fundies were saying rock music was evil because of the beat?

  19. 19.

    Calouste

    Don’t worry about taking out Jindal from the GOP farm team. Palin/McCain have been working hard on that for the last few weeks with their "brown dudes with weird names = terrorists" meme. Bobby will still have to win the primaries first, where he will be on the ballot as Piyush Jindal.

  24. 24.

    John PM

    @Jeff:

    "And if I could wave a magic wand"

    But I thought she wanted to ban Harry Potter from the library.

    You beat me to the snark. My first thought when I read this line was "Looks like they are going to need to call back that African pastor for a second round of prayers for protection against witches, cause it looks like the first time didn’t take."

    Svensker: She COULD wave a magic wand and sit at the dinner table with more and more Americans. It’s called a press conference, televised on this amazing device known as a television.

    For the win … Yes!

  25. 25.

    jake 4 that 1

    if I could wave a magic wand

    Guess that anti-Witchcraft inoculation didn’t take.

    And believe it or not, there is a small portion of Das Base who winced at the magic wand reference.

  26. 26.

    El Cruzado

    Get these people their magic fucking wands, already!

    I’m not sure about Palin, but I’m sure God gave W a Magic Fucking Wand alright.

    And I’m not giving mine to anyone.

  27. 27.

    Tsulagi

    if I could wave a magic wand

    Wow. So we’ve been treated to McCain telling us it’s not his fault his campaign went negative. Where crowd pleasing shouts of “kill him” are as good and welcomed as an Amen.

    Yes, it really was Obama’s fault for not doing townhalls with McCain as The Mav wanted him to. Steely McCain was wounded being snubbed, so Obama brought it on himself. Now Palin criticizing their robocalls, but they’re necessary because she doesn’t have a magic wand.

    And these are the serious adults?

  29. 29.

    Comrade Jake

    @NonyNony:

    Here’s the transcript:

    In the final days of campaigns, the say-anything, do-anything politics too often takes over. We’ve seen it before. And we’re seeing it again today. The ugly phone calls. The misleading mail and TV ads. The careless, outrageous comments. All aimed at keeping us from working together, all aimed at stopping change.
     
    It’s getting so bad that even Senator McCain’s running mate denounced his tactics last night. As you know, you really have to work hard to violate Governor Palin’s standards on negative campaigning.

    Of course, the written words don’t do it justice. You really have to watch the clip when you get a chance.

  30. 30.

    KRK

    @NonyNony:

    They have the text at TPM:

    In the final days of campaigns, the say-anything, do-anything politics too often takes over. We’ve seen it before. And we’re seeing it again today. The ugly phone calls. The misleading mail and TV ads. The careless, outrageous comments. All aimed at keeping us from working together, all aimed at stopping change.
    …
    It’s getting so bad that even Senator McCain’s running mate denounced his tactics last night. As you know, you really have to work hard to violate Governor Palin’s standards on negative campaigning.

  31. 31.

    NonyNony

    Thanks guys. That’s awesome. I’m going to need to come back and watch this once I figure out what’s wrong with my machine today.

  32. 32.

    Unrepentent Dennis - SGMM

    If Palin called all the shots and had a magic wand her campaign stops would begin with lynching a dark-skinned person and end with a hymn.

  33. 33.

    SGEW

    And these are the serious adults?

    Um, no. They’re Republicans.

    . . .

    Hasn’t this been settled a while ago?

  35. 35.

    MikeL

    So a magic wand is needed to sit at a kitchen table with voters, and get rid of robo calls. As irresponsible as it would be, part of me wants her in office just for the amusement value. Dan Quayle was an amateur next to Palin. The folks over at redstate.com must be delusional to keep supporting her. Even the cable talking heads are clearly trying to spin as best they can, and failing. She’s a bundle of smiles, mannerisms, and talking points.

  36. 36.

    dmsilev

    It’s getting so bad that even Senator McCain’s running mate denounced his tactics last night. As you know, you really have to work hard to violate Governor Palin’s standards on negative campaigning

    Translation: "Even that pit bull with lipstick from up North thinks this is over the line".

    -dms

  37. 37.

    Stuck in the Funhouse

    It is a sure sign of the political death rattles when political campaigns begin shedding all temerity in desperate attempts to sling the shit at their leading opponents, And with the Mccain campaign, the fecal quotient was high to begin with. I genuinely don’t believe it has dawned on Teh Saint Magoo, just how far things have slipped, and how out of control his monster is. I think he actually believes he’s running an ordinary tough campaign, whereupon he has repudiated the more radical elements in his party. Palin is like a one woman traveling hate circus, seemingly like she’s the only person on the ticket and cultivating her very own cult, I guess for future stardom in the GOP. It is all a sorry ass spectacle, and despite it all, Mccain will still get at least 45 % of the vote IMO, and still has an outside chance of winning. What a country!

  38. 38.

    Delia

    Hypno Prairie Dog is the work of Satan and when the Moose Queen gets her magic wand his Youtube will explode.

    Either that or he will turn into a rubber chicken.

  39. 39.

    Punchy

    Maybe instead of waving magic wands, she should just flat-out tell what she’ll do to get the economy back on track.

  40. 40.

    KRK

    Apparently the McCain campaign is rethinking their earlier decision not to raise Rev. Wright as an "issue" (maybe they’re letting Palin call the shots?) At this point, that only seems like good news for Obama. Can non-base voters roll their eyes back any further?

  41. 41.

    Zifnab

    As irresponsible as it would be, part of me wants her in office just for the amusement value.

    She’ll be running around the airwaves for the next four years gosh-darnit you betcha, tell’n good ole fashion’ ‘Mericans how she’da done so much better than that there uppity negro terrorist Prez’dent. Don’t worry. Wail’n Palin isn’t going away any time soon.

  42. 42.

    Delia

    A reader over at TPM has long distance psycho-therapy take on McCain’s latest case of the angries.

    I’ve never really cared whether McCain was an honorable man who lost his way, or was never all that honorable in the first place. It’s seemed to me a distinction without a difference– I’m reminded of the debate in Pogo about whether The Odyssey was written by Homer, or another blind Greek poet of the same name.
    …
    That having been said, McCain’s defense of robocalling to Chris [Wallace’s] is fascinating. It’s so evident that McCain is lying through his teeth–and knows it. But instead of feeling guilty, contrite (like a man of honor), or oblivious (like a sociopath), McCain just gets angrier.
    …
    I get the sense that the further he drifts from his (perhaps former) ideals, the angrier he gets at those who (in his mind) forced him to stray.
    …
    "My fellow prisoners" indeed.

  44. 44.

    John S.

    Maybe instead of waving magic wands, she should just flat-out tell what she’ll do to get the economy back on track.

    Silly liberal, if she did that then they would be giving away all their awesome ideas to the evil Dhimmicrats who would then steal their ideas and take credit for them. Just like how McCain has a plan to capture OBL…that he can’t share with anyone for the same reason.

    Campaign Country first!

  45. 45.

    Joshau Norton

    She’s a rock star with the delusional "Obama is a terrorist" wingnutz in the way the Beatles were with teeny boppers a generation ago.

    They can’t talk about policy at all. Just toss around buzz words that have no real meaning to them, other than piss them off in general. They don’t know what "socialism" is any more than they know about Abairege initiation rites.

  46. 46.

    Stuck in the Funhouse

    Apparently the McCain campaign is rethinking their earlier decision not to raise Rev. Wright as an "issue" (maybe they’re letting Palin call the shots?)

    Of course they are. I wouldn’t be surprised if we started seeing at Palin rallies, Obama Mannequin’s burned in effigy wearing a Che Beret, or toy babies splayed in blood with giant forceps clamped on it’s head. We’re heading into some seriously sick shit before this is done, and likely after. Hope I’m dead wrong about that.

  48. 48.

    jake 4 that 1

    @Jeff: Woodbridge, VA is not RealVirginia (TM).

    Christ, that woman was hilarious. "I’m not going to explain why I’m here because … uh. Uh … Media. The press! Distortion! Bwrrrawk!"

    Must be a Palin supporter.

    I didn’t care much for Mr. Spotty Conservative Christian. "Yes, we must question his ties to extreme Islam."

  49. 49.

    Punchy

    All aimed at keeping us from working together, all aimed at stopping change. making us blog more about how much we hate McCane

    Fizz’ixed

  50. 50.

    Phoenix Woman

    I love the way the Obama campaign works this kind of thing into the stump speeches SO goddamn quickly. I mean, the difference in agility between these two campaigns is striking.

    Obama and his people understand the difference between strategy and tactics. McCain’s people do not.

    Obama’s people adapt to events by incorporating them into their tactical repetoire, without allowing them to upset the overall strategy. McCain’s people just keep going to the racism and paranoia well over and over again.

    Obama has brains, patience, and nerves of steel, all of which were honed by a life where he had to fight for every advance he got; in addition, he sought out as his life partner a woman who is his intellectual, moral and strategic equal. McCain was born to power and privilege, had a daddy powerful enough to insulate him from most of the consequences of his actions, and has coasted most of his life on good looks and a surface charm that he used to attract a rich heiress, and which masks a volcanic, out-of-control, callous personality.

  51. 51.

    John S.

    McCain supporters are pushing back as well.

    Call me cynical, but that seemed entirely too staged for my taste.

    Why, there’s this hateful bigot passing out bumper stickers which are far tamer than most of what we’ve seen at McCain rallies…and there just happens to be a group of Muslims and a brown-skinned McCain "official" nearby to repudiate him. What an amazing coincidence! Why even the white Christian guy is offended by such gross smears!

    Of course, there is truth even in theater. That kind of thing will turn off Muslim voters thinking of voting for McCain and that kind of hateful message should have no place in a campaign. But those ships sailed long ago without Johnny Drama on board.

  52. 52.

    SamFromUtah

    @John S.: …and there just happens to be a group of Muslims and a brown-skinned McCain "official" nearby to repudiate him. What an amazing coincidence!

    Indeedy. And how will the people who do believe it react? By thinking it’s bad to do racist stuff, or by thinking it’s bad to do racist stuff where people can see you, or by thinking that McCain is some horrible liberal that gives hard-working Americans’ jobs to brown people?

  53. 53.

    The Moar You Know

    McCain supporters are pushing back as well. I liked the McCain delegate telling off the bigot.

    @Jeff: You must be kidding. That’s the most staged thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

  54. 54.

    gex

    Do Republicans know that you don’t get issued an Executive Magic Wand when you win the White House? Both Bush and Palin answering questions with "magic wand" responses? WTF? Why doesn’t anyone say to them, "Look, you’re trying to get elected to the Presidency/Vice Presidency, at which time you will have to address this issue sans magic wand. Do you have a plan B?"

    I know, I know. Having a plan B is what losers who don’t cheer plan A heartily enough plan for. God help us if we have to cheer for the magic wand platform after November 4th.

  55. 55.

    Jeff

    @John S.: It was edited but I am not that cynical yet. Seeing the bumper sticker people slink away was worth it. Also, I believe a lot of Muslims could support McCain based on social issues similar to some Orthodox Jews.

  56. 56.

    kay

    She said this having just recorded a robocall. No joke.

    Her robocall started today. Presumably it was recorded prior to her denunciation of robocalls.

    This is pathological. She’s incapable of uttering a single complete paragraph without a lie in it.

  57. 57.

    Comrade Tax Analyst

    Svensker

    She COULD wave a magic wand and sit at the dinner table with more and more Americans. It’s called a press conference, televised on this amazing device known as a television.

    Wow~ That’s an AMAZING IDEA. You should call Sarah up and tell her…Bet she’d ‘preciate it, you betcha’.

  60. 60.

    Brachiator

    @Stuck in the Funhouse:

    I genuinely don’t believe it has dawned on Teh Saint Magoo, just how far things have slipped, and how out of control his monster is. I think he actually believes he’s running an ordinary tough campaign, whereupon he has repudiated the more radical elements in his party. Palin is like a one woman traveling hate circus, seemingly like she’s the only person on the ticket and cultivating her very own cult, I guess for future stardom in the GOP. It is all a sorry ass spectacle, and despite it all, Mccain will still get at least 45 % of the vote IMO, and still has an outside chance of winning. What a country!

    McCain knows what he is doing, and approves Palin’s message. Some pundit on this Sunday’s "Meet the Press" noted that McCain got rid of the advisers who wanted him to keep to the high road. Another pundit amazingly defended McCain, frankly noting that the negative campaign style was working "until the economy turned around on them."

    And strangely, McCain keeps insisting that if only Obama had agreed to do what McCain wanted (e.g., go to Iraq together, have 10 town hall meetings), then all this unpleasantness might have been avoided. There is something distinctly odd in McCain’s refusal to take responsibility for the nastiness that his campaign has been spewing.

  61. 61.

    gwangung

    Apparently the McCain campaign is rethinking their earlier decision not to raise Rev. Wright as an "issue" (maybe they’re letting Palin call the shots?) At this point, that only seems like good news for Obama. Can non-base voters roll their eyes back any further?

    Break out the Gil Scott Heron records…

    Hmmm…wonder if he’s putting anything together….

  62. 62.

    John S.

    @ SamFromUtah:

    That’s a trick question, isn’t it? I’m going to go with "it’s bad to do racist stuff where people can see you" as evidenced by the woman unwilling to say anything on camera because the media will "distort" her (Hint: When you say and do crazy shit there is no need to distort it to make it look crazy).

    @ Jeff:

    Seeing the bumper sticker folk slink away on film doesn’t mean shit when it is likely they marched back triumphantly once the cameras were gone (and were likely not challenged again). Also, McCain’s stance on social views are not in line with either Muslims OR Orthodox Jews, so I’m not sure what you’re referring to exactly.

  63. 63.

    Comrade Darkness

    Someone asked on another thread for a reference to a level-headed right-leaning blog. I like real clear politics. I checked that site regularly leading up to the 2006 elections and had no clue until after when the site owner was lamenting the "bad" results in congress that he was right-leaning. It’s mostly a clearinghouse tho, not technically a blog.

  66. 66.

    Comrade Jake

    There’s this notion in the AA community that if you want a job, you’d better be twice as good as the white guy who also wants it.

    Obama would appear to be determined to prove this point as clearly as humanly possible.

  67. 67.

    jake 4 that 1

    OT: John, we also need a list of things that McPOW & Friends say aren’t really what they claim to be.

    We know D.C. isn’t RealAmerica and Northern Virginia isn’t RealVirginia. Now it looks like McPOW has set his sights on dividing RealFeminists from the fakes.

    My friends, it’s remarkable the comments of the feminist left about Sarah Palin," he said to a chorus of boos.

  68. 68.

    Comrade Jake

    Heh. I just went over to FoxNews.com to check it out. Here’s one of the headlines:

    Is Family Guy Kidding?
     
    Animated sitcom is no stranger to controversy, but did it go too far by likening McCain/Palin ticket to the Nazis?

    I love that it’s left as a question. It’s like they’re not even sure anymore. McCain a Nazi? Wait a minute…that…might be…true?

  69. 69.

    Stuck in the Funhouse

    There is something distinctly odd in McCain’s refusal to take responsibility for the nastiness that his campaign has been spewing.

    It’s called denial, and not the river in Egypt. We can rationalize all sorts of shit, when there is an over arching goal that MUST be met, at least in our own minds. Mccain isn’t stupid, and somewhere inside he knows he’s gone off his own reservation of principles. But the "mission" he has set himself on crowds out conscious moral reasoning, and he has purposely surrounded himself with people who could care less about moral reasoning and boundaries of any kind in the service of winning. Which in the end, is the final and only measure of truth and value, any good wingnut holds for defining success. In other words, Mccain has clamped off that part of his brain that regulates decency, and fully opened the Lizard part. That’s what I meant by not knowing, He’s moved to Crazy Wingnuttown, USA., where ‘not knowing" is the Coin of the Realm

  72. 72.

    dlw32

    I’m struck by the lack of imagination. Give her a magic wand and all she wants to do is be able to sit down with more people at their kitchen tables??

    How about world peace? Or even just victory in Iraq? Magically fix the economy, maybe. Or make it physically painful for humans to lie?

    Jeez, even when I was in middle school I could come up with something better that revolved around invisibility and the girls locker room…

  75. 75.

    John S.

    Uh, Gay Marriage, sex education, religious school vouchers. Should I continue?

    I meant comprehensive issues, not single issues. Anyone that supports McCain solely on those grounds is not a serious voter. The reason why most Muslims and Orthodox Jews probably don’t support McCain is because his breadbasket of policies – aside from "moral" issues – are anathema to them.

  76. 76.

    Jay in Oregon

    I would be sitting at a kitchen table with more and more Americans, talking to them about our plan to get the economy back on track and winning the war

    What’s stopping you, Sarah?

    Your campaign can purchase blocks of airtime, just as the Obama campaign has, and you can fill it with the mavericky brilliance that will save us all.

    You can sit at a kitchen table and call them "Kitchen Table Chats" if you want.

    Put up or shut up.

  77. 77.

    Jeff

    Bush won large blocs of the Muslim vote in 2000 because of family values issues. Whereas Orthodox Jews vote overwhelmingly Republican for both family values issues as well as Israel policy. Conservative and Reform Jews are a different story.

  78. 78.

    Ash Can

    "My friends, it’s remarkable the comments of the feminist left about Sarah Palin," he said to a chorus of boos.

    Well, let’s see. Sarah Palin is the younger bimbo with the pretty face who was chosen for a plum job instead of a far more experienced and competent — but perhaps less glamorous — Republican woman such as Olympia Snowe or Kay Bailey Hutchinson. She espouses policies that are not only anti-woman but stunningly so. She’s surrounded by men who feel it necessary to shield and micromanager her, and who can’t wait to show her off in DC. And feminist-minded people, left, right or whatever, are calling bullshit on this sham.

    Gee, ya think?

    I don’t care whether John McCain actually believes this "feminist left" drivel himself or not. He’s a douchebag for talking like this in public, period.

  80. 80.

    ThymeZone

    Photographer Joe Eddins and I headed over to the closest one and found a steady line of voters hoping to cast ballots early. Most seemed to be Obama supporters and several had come from the rally. Nearly all the voters were black.
    Also at the polling site was a group of loud and angry protesters who shouted and mocked the voters as they walked in. Nearly all were white.
    As you can see from these videos, no one held anything back. People were shouting about Obama’s acknowledged cocaine use as a young man, abortion and one man used the word "terrorist." They also were complaining that Sundays are for church, not voting.

    Washington Times.

    McCain supporters are at the polls heckling voters.

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