This one honestly surprised me:
Granted, it’s probably (okay, certainly) not true. But if that crazy person who runs Atlas Shrugged is right and Barack Obama really is the son of Malcolm X, that would make my day. Honestly, who wouldn’t give Malcolm props for that one? And think there’s anyway we can fit Tupac into the bloodline? Or maybe Obama actually is Tupac? You know that whole shooting was some bullshit, right?
So now Obama is actually the love-child of Malcolm X. Go figure.
A quick side note- every time I hear the name Malcolm X, I am reminded of a funny line by Dennis Miller, when he stated he wanted to get more in tune with black culture, so he went to the bookstore and bought the “Autobiography of Malcolm the Tenth.” That always makes me snicker.
El Cid
This is further evidence of why it’s so awful that all these mean, insensitive liberals keep saying that right wingers are offensive morons on race and racism.
myrtle parker
John, you see Dan Riehl’s latest offering?
His excuse? He’s not being racist, he was just offering subtle commentary by blaming black people for the overuse of hyphens in this country. I kid you not!
D. Mason
@myrtle parker: Sorry but afro-mercial is kind of funny.
Sirkowski
Only Pam of Atlas Shrugged could be an Objectivist AND a religious nut at the same time.
pharniel
Objectivism is a form of religious nuttery.
‘free people from all the chains and shackles of emotion and decency and they’ll be ahve more decent and not rape everyone else for as much as they can get. honest.’
it’s pure FYIGM enabling claptrap.
cleek
that post is easily 0.9 TimeCubes.
only the fact that she uses complete sentences stops it from going higher.
Gus
That bitch is bugfuck crazy, and she gets worse every day. Please someone help her child.
demimondian
@D. Mason: It is clever, certainly. Funny? Well, to my shame, I admit I chuckled at the pun.
It’s still racist as hell.
Larry Craig nee Crusty Dem
I’m trying to figure out how Pam can write a 5,000 word diatribe with almost no basis in fact. She really is wasted in politics, she could write the next Harry Potter is she could just use her ability to create a fantastical alternate reality and make it real. She might have to cut down on the hate, if she did write Harry Potter she’d have 1,000 Voldemorts all totally powerful and perfectly evil.
Medication might help, too…
I chuckled at Riehl, too, but mostly at what a bigot he is.
Wag
Malcom X was a US citizen, and so was Obama’s Mother. Obama was born on US soil, and is therefore eligilbe to be President. I guess we can put the whole birth certificate thing to bed now that we know Obama is not a Kenyan secret agent…
Charity
Am I supposed to be afraid or angry somehow if Obama really was the son of Malcolm X? I mean, that’d be kinda cool!
D. Mason
@demimondian: Hmmm I guess I would accept racially tinged but not racist as hell. Then again I laugh at stuff that should offend me all the time so my meter is a bit broken there.
myrtle parker
I don’t see the humor at all. What’s more, it is absolutely clear from the context of the post and the associated follow-up that Riehl had no humor in mind.
linda
reminds me of watching cspan during the jihad against clinton, and listening to a woman rant about the similarities between bill clinton and boris yeltsin … wait for it … who she proclaimed was clinton’s long lost father. hell, even the usually unflappable brian lamb’s jaw dropped at that one..
Stevenovitch
?
A what now?
Comrade Dread
Afraid.
It’s supposed to reinforce the idea that next Wednesday, if Obama wins, all the black people will storm Whitey’s houses and put us in chains for a couple of centuries, or carry off your women or collectivize everything and make us wait in bread lines, or some other barely sanitized version of the racist redneck’s cry, "Wake up white people."
Worst losers of next week will be the Latinos. With the race finally over, all of the racist asses in the Republican party will no doubt go back to blaming them for all of society’s ills.
The Other Steve
This one is awesome!
Fact: Obama was born on August 4, 1961
Fact: Ann Dunham was enrolled at UoW in Seattle for the Fall Semester and classes started in August of 1961
Conclusion: Obama couldn’t possibly have been born in Hawaii, because Ann Dunham would have been 3000 miles away in Washington
Theory: Therefore, obviously the birth certificate was a fake
Conclusion: Which means Malcolm X is really Obama’s father!
This is by far the best case of utilizing both inductive and deductive reasoning I have ever witnessed. It’s impeccable! Flawless! There is no way that anybody can question the logic!
Unless of course classes in Washington started say August 28th. That would have given her 3 weeks to make it to Washington. Impossible if you are swimming with a baby strapped to your back, but entirely within the realms of possibility if you use an airplane.
Dennis - SGMM
Bwahahahahaha!
D. Mason
I can’t imagine what would be cool about that, his saving grace would be that he wasn’t claimed by Malcolm. I think most non-blacks who are familiar with his ideas and teachings would be a bit put off if it were true(but would also recognize the absurdity of it). I would be. Malcolm X was a radical racist, for good reason based on his life experiences, without remorse or consideration for the millions of white people who didn’t persecute anyone. There’s a near certainty his son would have been exposed to those ideas. I think any serious person would have qualms about electing someone who they knew was repeatedly exposed, during their formative years, to hateful and incendiary teachings from their father. Especially if they are the object of said teachings. It might not be fair to hold someone accountable for the teachings of their father but welcome to the world.
That being said, the idea that he is Malcolm X’s kid seems pretty ridiculous to me based mostly on the fact that his mother is white and Malcolm X is a flaming racist.
Scott H
Even after the Aliens seized control of the MSM (quod vide Kyra Phillips) forcing the Weekly World News out of grocery stores, the Truth can not be suppressed!
D. Mason
Obviously. That’s sad too, it’s an amusing word play.
Nim, ham hock of liberty
Barack should let us know whom he’s planning to appoint to head up the new Department of Revenge.
Zuzu's Petals
@Stevenovitch:
One of the few DM jokes I still find funny:
George Bush will surround himself by smart people in much the same way a hole surrounds itself by a donut.
Dennis - SGMM
From Juggs’ breathless post:
In the article linked by this post we find:
The governor’s office officially declined a request made in writing by WND in Hawaii to obtain a copy of the hospital-generated original birth certificate of Barack Obama.
"It does not appear that Dr. Corsi is within any of these categories of persons with a direct and tangible interest in the birth certificate he seeks," wrote Roz Makuala, manager of constituent services in the governor’s office, in an e-mailed response to a WND request seeking the information.
Those listed as entitled to obtain a copy of an original birth certificate include the person born, or "registrant" according to the legal description from the governor’s office, the spouse or parent of the registrant, a descendant of the registrant, a person having a common ancestor
with the registrant, a legal guardian of the registrant, or a person or agency acting on behalf of the registrant.
Those restrictions are pretty much the same in any state. So Juggs asks a question, links to the answer and then ignores it.
Alex
That is the most awesomest post in the entire, awesome history of Right Blogostan.
Xoebe
I see I am not the only one who thought of TimeCube when I saw that.
Gold Star for Robot Boy
Malcolm X and I share the same birthday (as does Kevin Garnett), so I’m down with this.
UncommonSense
I was telling a friend over lunch yesterday that the conservative movement has no intellectual foundation upon which to build a strategy for electoral success in 2010 or 2012.
I take it all back.
This essay by Pam "Atlas" is proof of a genius that I did not suspect existed in the right-wing blogosphere. Barack Obama is the son of Malcolm X. The truth has been staring me in the face the entire time. How could I have missed it?
Well done, Madam! I bow my head in admiration.
CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII
Damn, BushCo was so busy deregulating the financial sector that they totally forgot about Vital Statistics. Anyone should be able to write and receive another person’s birth certificate (NOT!).
Davebo
Pam Jugs and Larry Johnson 2 gether 4 evah!
A match made in hell.
cleek
i don’t know about the 60’s, but UoW is currently on the quarter system. so, classes begin in late September, for the fall quarter.
Josh Hueco
OT, but today’s the seventieth anniversary of Orson Wells’s infamous broadcast of ‘War of the Worlds.’ Story here. Link to the original audio here.
Jeff
How can anyone read that site. I had to stop because the design was making me have a seizure. No wonder the people over there are unhinged.
theturtlemoves
@D. Mason: "Malcolm X is a flaming racist." Leaving aside that referring to dead people in the present tense is a little odd, this is entirely inaccurate of the late Mr. Shabazz at the end of his life. In point of fact, his rejection of the racist elements of the Nation of Islam and his threatening of Elijah Muhammed’s power are the likely reasons he was killed. Read the Autobiography of Malcolm the Tenth. Inspiring story of redemption. Or don’t. It would likely just confuse and frighten you since it is painfully obvious you are not familiar with his actual "ideas and teachings."
srv
So, John McCain was chairman of a group that gave Rashid Kahlidi $448K.
What does that make McCain?
Joshau Norton
Slackers. Any conspiracy whacko worth their salt would find a way to work in at least Lee Harvey Oswald and the Bilderberg Group.
cleek
an old deflated douchebag
Loneoak
We can start to see the general outlines of how the wingnuts are going to freaking out about Obama during his 8 years in office.
Clinton got the following:
– Multiple sex scandals/affairs/harassment claims (at least one true)
– Multiple murders
– Wife as a lesbian/witch
– Insanely convoluted real estate investment scandals
These stuck in the wingnut mind because they fit with some sort of archetype that Clinton embodied. Something about him being a liberal Bubba, a poseur, powerful without legitimacy, on the wrong side of the ’60s culture war.
Pammykins captures the totality of what they’re going to be saying about Obama. Let’s see:
– Not who he says he is, and who all the records say he is
– The product of a vast shadowy conspiracy
– Surrounded by radicals that hate America
– Groomed by those radicals from a super young age to trick white America
– Going to take revenge on white people
We’ve been put on notice. And the future will be funny, possibly so funny we will be too exhausted from laughing to actually get anything done with the new progressive government.
jake 4 that 1
So Malcom X fathered Obama and died when Obama was three …
And?
Comrade Dread
A cynical politician who earnestly believes that his base is blind and stupid.
D. Mason
Point taken about refering to Malcom x and Obamas mother in the present. Call it a symptom of doing too many things at once.
My post was about the things he would have taught his young son in the early 60’s not about his deathbed conversion to non-bigotry. I can completely appreciate that he changed his view but that doesn’t change the fact the he helped lay the foundation for one of the most popular and mainstream racist organizations currently existing in America. Most of his activities represented hate and divisiveness. I acknowledge that his negative experiences were a reasonable foundation for his racism and I don’t even fault him for that. I still say that anyone brought up on those kinds of ideas should be looked at more carefully when trying to assume a leadership role.
Once again I feel the need to point out that I think the story is bullshit and my response was originally to someone who stated it would be cool if Obama were the son of an iconic bigot.
Dave Weeden
But don’t you see how the pieces fit together? Malcolm X was born Malcolm Little, Bill Clinton delivered his election night acceptance speech from Little Rock, B Hussein X ‘beat’ Hillary Clinton in the Democratic Primaries. Surely, anyone with a sleeping disorder and rampant paranoia can join these dots?
Oh, and my dad was 5’10 and I’m 6’1. Does Atlas Jugs ‘evidence’ mean that I’m illegitimate? My dad wore glasses; I wear glasses; Malcolm X wore glasses. Could I be the true leader of the Nation of Islam? Surely being white, British, and atheist are minor hurdles that a little invention can dispose of.
Comrade Dread
I’m intrigued by your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
You’ve opened up an entirely new vista for me. I mean,
A. I’m white.
B. So was Elvis
C. My mother was raised in Illinois
D. Elvis visited Illinois
Therefore Elvis was my father.
Dennis - SGMM
How can you be so down on him when he has so much in common with Sarah Palin?
wallace winfrey
That is some batshit-crazy awesomeness. I think this puts Juggs into serious contention for a Golden Wingnut Award.
Delia
Pam is off on the wrong track. I’ve always said that Obama is a Cylon and it’s futile to fight against him. Cut him down and he’s simply reborn in the Bay Ship and comes back the next day.
jake 4 that 1
Yep. I certainly remember everything my dad said to me when I was three.
Anyhoo, I can’t wait to see what (if anything) the whackaloons who claim there’s a tape of his Kenyan grandmother saying she witnessed his birth in Kenya make of this. And what about the people wringing their hands over Obama’s half-brother living in a hut in Kenya?
iluvsummr
@The Other Steve:
Excuse my ignorance because this was before my time: in the sixties, wasn’t it common for mothers to swim from Hawaii to the mainland with their babies strapped to their backs? One of the oppo researchers from the McCain campaign tells me that Barack has gills ingeniously hidden in his ears and that these probably formed during the long swim down from Hawaii. You really have no basis for saying that Stanley Ann could have made it to Seattle in time for classes.
I’m so happy that Barack is the son of Malcolm X. I guess his first job as president will be to avenge his father by slaying Farrakhan?
Common Sense
I simply do not get the controversy surrounding Hawaii’s guv. LINDA LINGLE IS A GODDAMNED REPUBLICAN (Odd they didn’t mention that in Corsi’s article). She endorsed Palin and spoke at the 2008 GOP convention. Why exactly would she be complicit in this conspiracy to hide Barack’s origins?
Hell Corsi’s employer viewed the birth certificate and pronounced it legit. At this point I’m pretty much certain these morons would believe it if Corsi said McCain was intentionally refusing to look into the issue because he’s a closet liberal.
I say we send these tards to some island with the PUMA’s (yes I have my suspicions the groups overlap a lot too). They could rant about our Dear Leader and how he squelches the truth while they hold elections every 4 years of their own. Palin vs Clinton every time. Once we get our own house in order we can send them paintball guns or something so they can live the life in full splendor.
Jon
Irrespective of the rest of this…
I’m secretly wondering if someone swapped the picture of Pake Zane out and replaced it with one of Dumbledore…
Phoenix Woman
No no no!
Obama is Cyclops of the X Men!
tomjones
Jake, you forgot that this also invalidates the wingnut theories that Obama and Odinga were going to form some kind of Islamokenyan axis to impose Sharia law on all us crackers.
CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII
Gee, weren’t they trying the line that Obama and Farrakhan were friends just a few weeks ago? It’s apparently all part of that "throw everything at the wall and see what sticks" tactic, and it’s not working at all.
D. Mason
I guess by using the same logic that led me to be down on Sarah Palin?
Jay in Oregon
@The Other Steve:
I dated a woman in college who, while still technically "enrolled", had effectively dropped out of all her classes for the past two months. She was still living in student housing, even.
I have no problem with the idea that Ann Durham could be "enrolled" in college in Washington yet actually be in Hawaii giving birth.
The notion that she considers the theory that Barack Obama is the secret love child of Malcolm X is the more plausible theory speaks volumes.
Tim P.
Three words: Peak Wingnut, baby!
fuddmain
Jesus, parody is dead.
Naturally, the bobbleheads in the comments are eating this shit up.
Comrade Stuck
Next thing you know, Johnson and Atlas will be demanding that Plymouth Rock be turned over in case any of Obama’s kinfolk are hiding there.
** and
How can you be so down on him when he has so much in common with Sarah Palin?
dmsilev
@iluvsummr:
No, that’s not right. Barack will do battle with Farrakhan, and accuse him of betraying and murdering his father, at which point the awful truth will be revealed. *Farrakhan* is Barack’s father.
And then there will be Ewoks.
-dms
Ghoast
This is what happens to your brain when you read too much of Ayn Rand’s writing…
I'mRubberYou'reGlue
I am the son of Malcom Y and Babyfemale Z.
That must count for something.
The Moar You Know
Impossible. Dennis Miller is physically incapable of being funny.
4tehlulz
"I am your father Barack….X"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
In all seriousness, right-wing commentary on Obama really does read like bad fanfiction, sometimes.
jj
D. Mason,
It was his pilgrimage to Mecca and Medina that fostered Malcolm X’s adoption of an anti-racist, more humanist worldview and to later renounce the teachings of Elijah Muhammed.
My father and one of his best friends, my "uncle" Hassan left the Nation of Islam alongside Malcolm X after this adoption of a non-racist platform.
Malcolm did not come to "non-racism" on his deathbed.
I’m just saying.
Eric K
I know that even looking at Pammy’s logic is a waste of time but I can’t help myself.
Even if Obama was born in Seattle instead of Hawaii how does that put his mom with Malcom X 9 months earlier when he was conceived?
CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII
Actually, Dennis Miller was quite funny when he was a liberal, some years back in the early 90’s. I used to watch him on Comedy Central every night (the ex wouldn’t miss it for the world).
joebob
Miller is now one of the [diminutive form of Richard]s that goes around claiming Obama is the son of Malcolm X.
PaulB
I tried to read that diatribe, I really did, if only for its entertainment value, but honest to pete, that was just like reading toxic sludge. I could feel my brain trying to escape or shut itself down and I just couldn’t continue. How could someone be that unhinged and that blissfully unaware of their unhingedness? That’s one for the ages, ranking right up there with the best of den Beste.
LarryB
Hey! My kids both went to Malcolm X elementary school in Berkeley (I can’t figure out why my homies from San Diego bust out laughing every time I say that).
David Hunt
That makes way too much sense. Afterall, most of the Cylons are awesomely hot.
Daffyd ap Morgen
Upon first review two things are immediately apparent:
1. The author of Atlas Shrugged has forgotten the first rule of Occam’s Razor: Never invent explanations.
2. The rules for logic and integrity are different because the subject is Barack Obama. The research for this post wouldn’t even get a passing grade on a college term paper.
Mnemosyne
Isn’t that a little bit like blaming Charles Darwin for the consequences of social darwinism?
I see your point about the early 1960s being problematic since it was before Malcolm converted to Islam*, but I think that the fact that Malcolm saw the flaws in his previous worldview and tried to make up for it should carry some weight, especially since his renunciation of Elijah Muhammad and the Nation of Islam was what got him killed.
Not that it matters, of course. Barack Obama looks almost exactly like his maternal grandfather.
* Since the beliefs of the Nation of Islam in relation to Islam are kind of like the beliefs of Mormons in relation to Christianity, I think it’s fair to differentiate between being NoI and being an actual Muslim.
DA
Going to the link, did anyone happen to notice how much Obama looks like his Grandfather? It is quite a striking resemblance. You’d think they would have thought to remove the photo because of that.
cany
So this is the base of the 2012 election? Bwaaaaaaah.
Eddy
D. Mason, Me thinks you haven’t the slightest clue what you’re talking about. Seriously. Have you ever read his Auto-Bio? Now Malcolm was prejudiced against whites for a certain swath of his life but his life even while in the NOI was not primarily about bashing whites (most of whom deserved it at the time). It was about Black folk standing up for themselves, their communities & not backing down in the face of white hegemony. You seem to have this caricature of the man in your head. You have a lot to learn about who he was & what he stood for. This is a man who is thought of as a "black militant" for advocating Black self-reliance & self-defense. What violence did he committ after he left prison?
dwhite10701
Without a doubt, the best line in that rant is this:
That just says it all.
Brachiator
@D. Mason:
This is not at all true of Malcolm X, particularly in his last years.
By the way, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas admired Malcolm X. Go figure.
jim
Needless to say, when several years of an Obama presidency quietly come & go with no gun-bans, mandatory third-trimester abortions, brainwashing-centers or prison-camps, most of these panty-twisted neocon gits will be screeching just as loud … but the cry will be about how he’s just "lulling America to sleep" with his phony centrism – & waiting for his perfect chance to STRIKE!
Some of these same folks were saying circa 1992 that the collapse of the USSR was a Commie ploy & that they’d launch a "nuclear Pearl Harbor" on the US as soon as its forces had been sufficiently diminished.
Funny how that never quite actually happened … yet the short-bus-set that advocated such idiocy never seemed to get any peer-group approbrium for their massive political screw-up … & their minions just keep on faithfully tuning in, no matter how many similar BS stories go down in flames. Almost like they NEED to be scared shitless all their lives … hmm.
Wingnuts get off on hating, & that hate needs fear as a prerequisite, so they’re NEVER unafraid. Fear is their spiritual oxygen – & they hyperventilate on it 24/7, facts be damned … & THAT is truly comical.
Comrade Darkness
Getting out of your comfort zone will do that to most rational people. Narrow thinking does not hold up well in the face of a vast civilization that looks nothing like your own, but clearly is functioning just fine. I think the country would contain more "liberally minded" people if the Grand Canal were not considered first to be an attraction in Vegas.
pbg
And Malcolm X didn’t exactly have a deathbed. Shot in the chest with a sawed-off shotgun, then 16 times with handguns is not exactly slipping away with words of contrition on his lips.
I’m always fascinated by the fact that Elijah Muhammed’s first NoI manifesto involved an alien spaceship called the Mother Plane that would destroy the white devils.
Mnemosyne
Maybe he was reading L. Ron Hubbard at the time?
CT
Not that they’re not impervious to facts over there-but UW is on the quarter system-classes start in late September. It’s right there in their ‘evidence’ from the UW records:
Ms. Stanley Ann Dunham was enrolled at the University of Washington for:
Autumn 1961
Winter 1962
Spring 1962
…
Madolyne Lawson
Office of Public Records
Looks like the quarter system to me-gawd what a bunch of dumbarses
Thoughtcrime
@Mnemosyne:
I’m always fascinated by the fact that Elijah Muhammed’s first NoI manifesto involved an alien spaceship called the Mother Plane that would destroy the white devils.
Maybe he was reading L. Ron Hubbard at the time?
Or listening to P. Funk Clinton.
Sam Dobermann
Something is wrong with the Story of Ann Dunham at U of Wash. According to Wikipedia, and some reputable references, Dunham enrolled in UW in 1962, not 1961. So the young Barack would have been one year plus.
You know, someone, accidentally on purpose got the years mixed up, or likely is not smart enough to discriminate between a 1 and a 2.
OMG, I wasted time on this shit?
me
"1,000 Voldemorts all totally powerful and perfectly evil"
and living together harmoniously and peacefully in a society bound by enlightened self interest. With billions of muggle slaves condemned by their lack of desire to be able to do magic.
Ba'al
Well, there would normally be a limit to what young Barrack X could have absorbed from his Daddy Malcolm who was assassinated in February 1965 — when the future President Obama was less than three and a half years old. By June of 1964, Malcolm had already had a change of heart as a result of his pilgrimage to Mecca. As to the ideas Obama was raised on, one could get the impression that this Muslim Weather Underground radicalism sounds an awful lot like mainstream Democratic Party orthodoxy since about 1932. Obviously this is part of the insidious Communist or Black Muslim plot.
See, after Barrack X was born, he was kidnapped by aliens, and they did a procedure on him to make him able to speak and learn politics at the age of two months, and therefore Malcolm X, who knew he would eventually run for President, indoctrinated him with his Muslim ideas, but made him promise to hide it all until elected.
QED