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You are here: Home / That Quiet Sobbing is Andy McCarthy Weeping Into His Mountain Dew

That Quiet Sobbing is Andy McCarthy Weeping Into His Mountain Dew

by John Cole|  November 1, 20088:38 pm| 135 Comments

This post is in: Clown Shoes, I Read These Morons So You Don't Have To

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What will the lead conspiracy theorist at the nation’s premier website for conservative thought do now:

The state’s Department of Health director on Friday released a statement verifying the legitimacy of Sen. Barack Obama birth certificate.

The state has received multiple requests for a copy of Obama’s birth certificate. State law does not allow officials to release the birth certificate of a person to someone outside of the family.

***

“Therefore, I as Director of Health for the State of Hawai‘i, along with the Registrar of Vital Statistics who has statutory authority to oversee and maintain these type of vital records, have personally seen and verified that the Hawai‘i State Department of Health has Sen. Obama’s original birth certificate on record in accordance with state policies and procedures,” Fukino said.

I predict the response will sound something like this: “But, but, but…. AYERS!”

Wankers. The best part of this is when they pull out their batshit crazy BS after the election, we can just point to all this nonsense from during the election to discredit them. They should have taken Ben Smith’s advice.

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Reader Interactions

135Comments

  1. 1.

    Vincent

    November 1, 2008 at 8:43 pm

    Obviously Obama got to Fukino with his hypnotic mind control powers! What other explanation can there be?

  2. 2.

    dmsilev

    November 1, 2008 at 8:44 pm

    It’s pretty obvious what the tin-foil brigade will do now. They’ll start digging for dirt on the director of the Hawaii Department of Health. He’ll get the full countertop treatment, complete archeological investigation of all political positions, forensic examination of all possible skeletons in the closet.

    You know, the sort of vetting job that’s usually done on VP candidates.

    -dms

  3. 3.

    boonagain

    November 1, 2008 at 8:44 pm

    As if this is gonna satisfy those nimrods..

  4. 4.

    Laura W

    November 1, 2008 at 8:45 pm

    Bless you for a fresh, new, shiny thread.
    That’s alls I have to say.
    Too, also, I’ve just broken up with Lawrence O’Donnell for blaming Failin’s STAFF for her 7 minutes of Canadian shame.
    Also, too, the site is suddenly looking really funky on my end.
    But the fresh, new, shiny thread shines through, nonetheless.

  5. 5.

    boonagain

    November 1, 2008 at 8:47 pm

    Maybe the Prime Minister of Quebec will look into it in between attending McCain /Palin rallies.

    Can you believe Palin in that prank?…what gravitas she possesses.

  6. 6.

    boonagain

    November 1, 2008 at 8:48 pm

    Poor Laura,

    In and out of love in the space of 24 hours

  7. 7.

    kommrade jakevich

    November 1, 2008 at 8:48 pm

    I predict the response will sound something like this: “But, but, but…. AYERS Malcom X!”

    Fixed.

    Now will some brave soul volunteer to check Atlas Shagged to see if I’m right?

    Ah fuck it, I’ll go. [Dons Anti-Stupid Suit.]

    Nope, nothing.

    Yet.

    $20 says she’s dancing around saying I TOLD YOU by tomorrow morning.

  8. 8.

    Laura W

    November 1, 2008 at 8:49 pm

    Force Quit, clear Firefox cache.
    No more funky site.
    Magic.

  9. 9.

    Laura W

    November 1, 2008 at 8:51 pm

    @boonagain: Actually, that was one of my longer LTRs.

  10. 10.

    boonagain

    November 1, 2008 at 8:55 pm

    So to be still in love at sunrise is your goal, huh?

  11. 11.

    demkat620

    November 1, 2008 at 8:57 pm

    They should have taken Ben Smith’s advice.

    What kind of countertops does he have?

  12. 12.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    November 1, 2008 at 8:58 pm

    Too, also, I’ve just broken up with Lawrence O’Donnell for blaming Failin’s STAFF for her 7 minutes of Canadian shame.

    Haha.

    But I did feel a twinge of pity for Betsy at the end of the prank. She’s prolly in big fucking trouble now..

  13. 13.

    Laura W

    November 1, 2008 at 8:58 pm

    @boonagain: Too lofty?

  14. 14.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    November 1, 2008 at 9:00 pm

    Can you believe Palin in that prank?…what gravitas she possesses.

    Total fangurl. Me and John love you so much *squeals*

  15. 15.

    boonagain

    November 1, 2008 at 9:03 pm

    Lofty goals keep us striving for perfection.

  16. 16.

    Athiest in the Pine Trees

    November 1, 2008 at 9:05 pm

    Help take away a wingnut whining point.
    Report on the quality of your voting experience whether good or bad. Go to the new Wiki website My fair election.

    Anyone can contribute with a review of their voting experience and election watchers can respond to areas that have problems quickly.

    Here is a review at Balkinization where I learned about it.
    http://balkin.blogspot.com/2008/10/wiki-ing-our-way

    pass this along.

  17. 17.

    Svensker

    November 1, 2008 at 9:05 pm

    This from a Huffpo article, which I’m too lazy to do the linky thing to:

    Regional McCain Manager Denies Obama’s Citizenship: Tim McClellan, a regional manager in Florida for the McCain campaign, isn’t sold on the idea of Obama as an American citizen: The most surprising statement was something we’ve been hearing from McCain supporters but not from anyone actually on the McCain or RNC payroll. "I have strong concerns that Obama is not a citizen. I suspect the U.S. Supreme Court will prove that Obama’s not a citizen," Tim continued. "Did he go to Indonesia and become an Indonesian citizen, and if so, did he take steps to regain his (U.S.) citizenship? There’s no seal on his birth certificate and the font is wrong."

    I hate these people. Must get to Wednesday. Obama must win.

    Even my hub, who was going to vote for Nader because he doesn’t like either candidate, has decided that Obama must win just to make these people sad, and to keep Palin outta the WH.

  18. 18.

    Comrade Darkness

    November 1, 2008 at 9:05 pm

    So with the right constantly insisting on equal scrutiny I am sure they will be insisting we have an official examination of McSame’s birth certificate and an explanation as to why it lists a hospital constructed 5 years after he was born.

    I guess I won’t hold my breath.

    It was a gorgeous day for canvassing, btw, to those of you who were not canvassing, and I think you know who you are.

  19. 19.

    boonagain

    November 1, 2008 at 9:05 pm

    Palin’s dismissive attitude towards the assistant came through loud and clear. She was obviously pissed that the girl handed over the phone before Sarkozy got on the phone.

    What a sense of entitlement our Sarah possesses.

  20. 20.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    November 1, 2008 at 9:10 pm

    as to why it lists a hospital constructed 5 years after he was born

    I never heard this before. Is this snark or do you have a link?

  21. 21.

    jcricket

    November 1, 2008 at 9:11 pm

    C’mon, Hawaii’s not part of real America. It’s exotic. Those people are barely citizens. They’re not even attached to the mainland. Can we really trust them to do something like read and report on what they see?

    BTW, I heard the guy once had an ACORN tree in his yard, so he’s probably knowledgeable about faking birth certificates.

  22. 22.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    November 1, 2008 at 9:14 pm

    Palin’s dismissive attitude towards the assistant came through loud and clear. She was obviously pissed that the girl handed over the phone before Sarkozy got on the phone.

    Actually, any good phone receptionist is supposed to know how to handle these types of calls. If that happened to one of my former bosses, I would have gotten reamed.

    Granted, it was a joke that may have not been easily understood by the assistant, the caller (as I understand it, I didn’t get to listen to it) did impersonate Sarkozy. But, even then, if it had been me forwarding that call, I still would have gotten reamed.

  23. 23.

    r€nato

    November 1, 2008 at 9:15 pm

    What a sense of entitlement our Sarah possesses.

    just like one of the regular folks she is, pissing on the help. You betcha!

  24. 24.

    kommrade jakevich

    November 1, 2008 at 9:15 pm

    @Svensker: This is how the fReichtards will finally learn a little geography. "Nothing on Indonesia? What about … Malayasia? Has he ever ever been to Malaysia? No? Um … Hey, Thailand’s near by!"

    This shit is rapidly approaching too pathetic to mock.

  25. 25.

    demimondian

    November 1, 2008 at 9:17 pm

    The nice thing about being a conspiracy theorist is that you have all the advantages of being a guerrilla, up to winning if you fail to lose, without any of the disadvantages. The quiet sound you heard? It wasn’t Andy McCarthy weeping, but the sound of him collecting a urine sample that he will present tomorrow as evidence that "[a]t least one figure closely associated with the on-going scandal at the State of Hawai’i Department of Health has a significant cocaine abuse problem, and it must be determined if the source of that sample is, at it has been alleged, the Director of the Department."

  26. 26.

    r€nato

    November 1, 2008 at 9:19 pm

    It won’t take all that much imagination for The Corner to find a conspiracy here.

    Hawaii’s governor is a Democrat. Obama recently went to Hawaii to ‘visit his dying grandmother’ (how cynical Obama is, hiding behind the skirts of an elderly, dying woman!) when what he really did was go there to coordinate the cover-up with the governor, who ordered the Dept of Health director to issue the statement.

    There you go. The debunking has been debunked.

  27. 27.

    boonagain

    November 1, 2008 at 9:22 pm

    Which is better at removing Cheetos residue from the fingers?

    Mountain Dew or tears of disappointment?

  28. 28.

    boonagain

    November 1, 2008 at 9:23 pm

    I think the Governor there is a Republican, but has she endorsed Obama?

  29. 29.

    Lesley

    November 1, 2008 at 9:25 pm

    What ugly rabbits will they be pulling out of hats now?

    Speaking of ugly magic tricks, Cheney crawled out of his crypt yesterday to stump for McCain. Because a guy who can shoot friends in the face, build secret prisons, and write torture bills is just who you want on your team. Plus, so many expressions!

  30. 30.

    Delia

    November 1, 2008 at 9:31 pm

    @r€nato:

    Actually, the governor of Hawaii is a Republican — Linda Lingle, who was pretending to be best buds with our Sarah at the gooper convention. They can’t check her countertops unless they want to start searching out fifth columnists amongst their own. Not to say it’s not time for that move. Didn’t one of them pretty much say, "there will be blood"?

  31. 31.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    November 1, 2008 at 9:31 pm

    Speaking of ugly magic tricks, Cheney crawled out of his crypt yesterday to stump for McCain. Because a guy who can shoot friends in the face, build secret prisons, and write torture bills is just who you want on your team.

    Word is Sarah Palin promised Dark Cheney one of her kids, most likely the little one, if he’d help her.

  32. 32.

    kommrade jakevich

    November 1, 2008 at 9:31 pm

    @boonagain: Well she ran as a Republican and says she’s a Republican but obviously she isn’t a RealRepublican(R) or she’d release the real fake Obama birth certificate.

    /fRightie

  33. 33.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    November 1, 2008 at 9:32 pm

    Mountain Dew or tears of disappointment?

    Mountain Dew will do a faster job but leave a sticky residue… tears of disappointment will clean more thoroughly but take longer and the stickiness will be absent.

  34. 34.

    Comrade Stuck

    November 1, 2008 at 9:32 pm

    Wankers. The best part of this is when they pull out their batshit crazy BS after the election, we can just point to all this nonsense from during the election to discredit them.

    It won’t matter. Wingnuts are naturally like the brain damaged Guy Peirce character in the movie Memento. They have the innate ability to forget what they said and did 5 minutes ago. It’s like when Mccnut at a press conference, sincerely challenged anybody to come up with an example of him flip-flopping. And it’s probably why polls say goopers are happier than libs, they can just forget their misery, (and stupidity), like the ease of turning off a lightswitch. It does however, lead to all sorts of high quality wingnuttery to mock, though only the fresh kind.

  35. 35.

    Wini

    November 1, 2008 at 9:33 pm

    So, there is a most excellent video on the top post at LGM, but I’m scared to link to it since I don’t know how to embed…
    http://lefarkins.blogspot.com/

  36. 36.

    boonagain

    November 1, 2008 at 9:35 pm

    Has anyone mentioned that she dressed Trig as Dumbo on Halloween?

    Did she REALLY think that through?

    (Oh, I KNOW I’m going to Hell so keep all your remarks to yourself)

  37. 37.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    November 1, 2008 at 9:36 pm

    Well, if the governor befriended Sarah Palin, I would detect a Director of Health who might be getting fired soon… but, if she’s voting for Obama, maybe not so much.

  38. 38.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    November 1, 2008 at 9:39 pm

    Slightly OT, but did Larry Eagleburger follow up yet with a press release that he’s seeking treatment for alcoholism and also that he’s accepted Jesus Christ as his personal Savior?

  39. 39.

    boonagain

    November 1, 2008 at 9:39 pm

    Maybe they use DIET Mountain Dew!

    Voila, stickiness problem solved!

  40. 40.

    mey

    November 1, 2008 at 9:43 pm

    http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2008/11/state_of_hawaii_avers_obama_bi.html

    This happened a week after Obama visited Hawaii to visit his Grandmother, allegedly on her death bed. At last report, she is still alive a week later. Obama has not himself still has not released a certified copy of his birth certificate, which is treated as a confidential document under Hawaiian law.

  41. 41.

    boonagain

    November 1, 2008 at 9:47 pm

    @mey: That last sentence is just one ‘also’ away from bearing all the trademarks of a Palinist sentence.

  42. 42.

    Comrade Stuck

    November 1, 2008 at 9:47 pm

    From the crank Sarkozy call to Palin.

    CKOI: I must say Governor Palin. I loved the documentary they made on your life. You know uh Hustler’s Nailin’ Paylin?

    Palin: Oh good. Thank you. Yes.

    Hee haw!

  43. 43.

    Comrade Stuck

    November 1, 2008 at 9:52 pm

    Slightly OT, but did Larry Eagleburger follow up yet with a press release that he’s seeking treatment for alcoholism and also that he’s accepted Jesus Christ as his personal Savior?

    Too late for that I fear. He’s been scheduled for human sacrifice at the alter of her Majesty Teh Wingnut Queen. Her supporters demand nothing less.

  44. 44.

    rob!

    November 1, 2008 at 9:52 pm

    i can’t be sure, but maybe the NRO staff doesn’t know Hawaii is a state, so therefore, to them, anyone born in Hawaii is, ipso facto, not an American citizen.

    Maybe once Obama wins, McCarthy can finally sign on for Weekend at Bernie’s 3.

    (although I guess that’s what the McCain campaign is anyway)

  45. 45.

    MeDrewNotYou

    November 1, 2008 at 9:53 pm

    Here’s a transcript, albeit slightly imperfect.

  46. 46.

    jcricket

    November 1, 2008 at 9:54 pm

    Obama has not himself still has not released a certified copy of his birth certificate, which is treated as a confidential document under Hawaiian law

    Frankly, I think the right response is stringing them out as long as possible. As long as we have the truth on our side (as in this case), not releasing some random piece of evidence will just cause the wing nuts to spin ever more fanciful tales.

    It’s like the briar patch. I’m happy for them to be caught up in it while the rest of us (i.e. Obama, Democratic Congress) are busy fixing the country the wingnuts fucked up.

  47. 47.

    Clor

    November 1, 2008 at 9:55 pm

    Why are McCain supporters so very angry?

  48. 48.

    Comrade Darkness

    November 1, 2008 at 9:56 pm

    @CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII: as to why it lists a hospital constructed 5 years after he was bornI never heard this before. Is this snark or do you have a link?

    Watching football at the mo, so didn’t see your question.

    Added: the fact that the senate tried to bail him out, to me, speaks volumes, but the senate’s bill has no bearing on his legality. Course, it’s been established that no one can sue over this, so it is probably moot.

    wapo article on questions surrounding mccain’s status as ‘natural born’.

  49. 49.

    Prematurely Grey

    November 1, 2008 at 9:57 pm

    I just saw a Jeremiah Wright ad on NBC here in Austin. More in a minute. Want to go watch it again.

  50. 50.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    November 1, 2008 at 9:59 pm

    From the crank Sarkozy call to Palin.

    She’s certainly not quick on her feet, or perhaps too easily distracted when flattered.

    Won’t it be interesting when the word goes out internationally that the easiest way to screw America is to flirt with the President (after McCain dies, naturally).

    This is NOT a serious candidate. If she were a toy, I’d take her back to the store for a refund.

  51. 51.

    The Thinking Man's Mel Torme

    November 1, 2008 at 10:06 pm

    I just saw a Jeremiah Wright ad on NBC here in Austin.

    Yep, it’s running here in SW FL as well. In fact, McCain ads are now running about 3:1 versus Obama’s, which is a complete about-face from a week ago. About 25% are McCain campaign ads, and the remainder are RNC. I even saw one from Jeb!™ this morning.

  52. 52.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    November 1, 2008 at 10:08 pm

    McCain’s now spending all that money he wouldn’t have had if he had his campaign offices open and busy. I think the strategy is going to fail miserably.

  53. 53.

    Comrade Jake

    November 1, 2008 at 10:11 pm

    @Prematurely Grey:

    I just saw the same thing, on NBC. It’s pretty lame if you ask me.

    FWIW, I still say we didn’t land on the moon. Where’s the proof?

  54. 54.

    r€nato

    November 1, 2008 at 10:17 pm

    Why are McCain supporters so very angry?

    OMG that was great!

    They even gave out her name in the report. OMG if any of those parents were thinking about voting for McCain before stopping by her house…

  55. 55.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    November 1, 2008 at 10:17 pm

    Comrade Darkness, that article didn’t say anything about the hospital that didn’t exist when he was born. Where is that evidence?

  56. 56.

    Comrade Darkness

    November 1, 2008 at 10:17 pm

    @CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII,
    And it’s a beautiful thing to behold. Sad how his wealthiest supporters are a little short on cash for running 527s.

    Your comment about not having heard the controversy with the birth certificate mccain’s campaign coughed up in may/june 2008 made me realize that that controversy reared its head back when the press was still fanboi-ing for mccain. Interesting to speculate what the press surrounding it would look like were it just coming out now.

    Added: "Where is that evidence?" Hang on. Let me find the link.

  57. 57.

    Comrade Stuck

    November 1, 2008 at 10:20 pm

    She’s certainly not quick on her feet, or perhaps too easily distracted when flattered.

    I’d say more the latter. Right now, she is a very raw, unripe wingnut. I don’t discount her potential for political success in the future with the proper seasoning and education. She really is like Bush in a skirt, only with better primal talent for the art of bullshitting her way to popularity. Combine that with insatiable ambition and almost total lack of self reflection and intellectual curiosity, and you have yourself a potentially dangerous wingnut with a certain wreckless charisma. Mccain choosing her now for the national stage, before she’s ready, has unwittingly done the country a service by letting us see the unpolished version. I don’t know if she can recover from the damage, but we should see to it that people don’t forget what a disaster it would be to let her near the WH. Just my opinion.

  58. 58.

    folkbum

    November 1, 2008 at 10:23 pm

    The Director of Health for the State of Hawai‘i is in the tank for Obama.

    Check that.

    Facts are in the tank for Obama.

    I think we all see that, don’t we?

  59. 59.

    Comrade Jake

    November 1, 2008 at 10:27 pm

    When I heard the prank tape, I was struck by just how cordial Palin was with the supposed Sarkozy, like she was speaking to her college roommate. You almost got the sense that she thought this was just an everyday occurrence, to have a foreign Head of State just give her a call and shoot the shit.

    I’m not convinced she has much beyond a room-temperature IQ, to be frank.

  60. 60.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    November 1, 2008 at 10:30 pm

    So McCain said previously that Wright was off limits. I guess that means he’s changed his stance on that too?

  61. 61.

    Comrade Darkness

    November 1, 2008 at 10:30 pm

    @CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII,

    Okay, this is more complicated than it used to be. There are now two birth certificates. This site has scans of both of them.

    The controversy has to do with Coco Solo as his hospital of birth, on the base. And the wapo fact checker concludes that’s the case. So, all well and good.

    But, if you look at the older certificate on that site, it lists Colon Hospital, which was a real, actual, decent hospital where they were living at the time, so it would have made sense to go there. Even if you accept that there was a medical facility on base previous to the construction of the Coco Solo in 1941, I’m not sure that helps their case, either because of the older cert or because it would be strange to not just go to the local real hospital.

    I’m not good at conspiracy theories. Too much to keep track of and esoteric knowledge required.

  62. 62.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    November 1, 2008 at 10:37 pm

    By the way, somewhere above someone mentioned Weekend at Bernies III – that is NOT the same Andrew McCarthy (who I had a crush on for years) but you already knew that (and so did I).

    I just went looking at the columnist’ birthdate though and it seems to be missing on Wiki.

  63. 63.

    kommrade jakevich

    November 1, 2008 at 10:40 pm

    @Comrade Stuck: If she were slightly less scary and all around bugfuck crazy that one would’ve made me feel sorry for her.

    But she isn’t, so I don’t.

  64. 64.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    November 1, 2008 at 10:40 pm

    Well, Gee, if we have two birth certificates with contradicting info, I think at least ONE of them is lying, this seems like a serious situation, why don’t wingnuts consider this?

    Thank you Darkness, I shall file this in my "Attack McCain" folder. ;)

  65. 65.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    November 1, 2008 at 10:43 pm

    I’m not convinced she has much beyond a room-temperature IQ, to be frank.

    I’m thinking "Energy crisis c. 1970’s mandatory thermostat room temperature"

    We all know that number as 78, of course.

  66. 66.

    Comrade Darkness

    November 1, 2008 at 10:48 pm

    @CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII,
    No problem. I don’t usually pay too much attention to such niggling details, but the hastily produced cert set off red flares for me because it mirrored the un-investigated assurances in 2000 by the Bush campaign that he had of course finished the last six months of his national guard duty after moving to Boston. Which was an outright lie. And in 2004 when confronted, finally, with the lie, the campaign got away with claiming to be "confused." Sheesh. Fifth Estate, my arse.

    Added: 78!?? Ours is set at 62. Wait… summer or winter?

  67. 67.

    Comrade Jake

    November 1, 2008 at 10:48 pm

    @CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII:

    Who said anything about degrees Fahrenheit?

  68. 68.

    Brian J

    November 1, 2008 at 10:48 pm

    Maybe it’s just because I am a liberal and therefore am biased. Maybe it’s because I don’t read many of them on anything close to a regular basis. Maybe it’s because I’ve just caught the magazines on some off issue days. Whatever the case, are there any serious (or attempting-to-be-serious) magazines on the left that publish the same sort of nonsense that the National Review publishes? Say what you want about the politics of The Nation or The American Prospect, but I don’t see them trafficking in any of the garbage that the clowns on the left peddle. And if they do happen to talk about some sort of controversial stuff, it’s in a general news sense or it’s about something affecting policy. In other words, they don’t resemble a tabloid.

    At least that’s the way it seems to me. Like I said, there may be a good reason for that, and I may in fact be wrong in the way I am looking at them. But am I? Does anyone else here feel the same way?

  69. 69.

    handy

    November 1, 2008 at 10:59 pm

    Guys! Guys! Calm down! There’s still the little matter of the API tape proving Barack was born in Kenya.

  70. 70.

    boonagain

    November 1, 2008 at 11:00 pm

    Is everyone watching McLame on SNL?

    I forgot about it and didn’t watch, but it sounds like he tossed Palin overboard.

  71. 71.

    Comrade Stuck

    November 1, 2008 at 11:00 pm

    @kommrade jakevich:

    But she isn’t, so I don’t.

    This is a woman who was mayor of the only town in Alaska that forced rape victims to pay for their own rape kits. The state legislature had to pass a specific law to force Wasilla to stop the practice. She doesn’t deserve sympathy, not even a little.

  72. 72.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    November 1, 2008 at 11:01 pm

    Who said anything about degrees Fahrenheit?

    Ooooooh! OUCH! Touche’

    Come to think of it, I think 78 is wrong, I’m thinkingnow it was 72 (that was so long ago…) but, I can’t handle really cold temps, so that’s probably what it was, I remember I complained.

    Darkness, 62? Ain’t no way I’m ever visiting you.

    And NO, I don’t do winters well.

  73. 73.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    November 1, 2008 at 11:03 pm

    Ow.. SNL assraped Olbermann.

  74. 74.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    November 1, 2008 at 11:05 pm

    clowns on the left

    "Clowns to the Left of Me, Jokers to the Right"?

    Is that what you meant?

  75. 75.

    kommrade jakevich

    November 1, 2008 at 11:06 pm

    OT: The current penalty for this bullshit, clearly isn’t enough of a deterrent.

    The residents of Broward County, Florida have recently received misleading robocalls telling them that they can vote by phone on Election Day, according to a report in the South Florida Sun-Sentinel on Friday.

    The report didn’t provide many details, other than the fact that the voice fallaciously identified itself as Elections Supervisor Brenda Snipes.

    Meanwhile John "Tiny Tears" Boneher is whining about ACORN.

  76. 76.

    Comrade Darkness

    November 1, 2008 at 11:08 pm

    Darkness, 62? Ain’t no way I’m ever visiting you.

    We do provide our guests with a colorful selection of quilted down robes and fuzzy sheepskin slippers. I loves me some winter. Key to it not feeling so cold outside is keeping the differential small from the inside. Key to feeling warm inside is a long day of either biking or x-country skiing in the bitter wind. 62 is a joy after a few rounds of that.

    Did I have you for an officemate? That crazy skinny lady who would turn the ‘stat up to 85 the minute you turned your back?

  77. 77.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    November 1, 2008 at 11:12 pm

    That crazy skinny lady who would turn the ‘stat up to 85 the minute you turned your back?

    I never garnered the power to access the thermostat, but if I could, I would. ;)

  78. 78.

    GSD

    November 1, 2008 at 11:16 pm

    Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!

  79. 79.

    Brian J

    November 1, 2008 at 11:17 pm

    This is a woman who was mayor of the only town in Alaska that forced rape victims to pay for their own rape kits. The state legislature had to pass a specific law to force Wasilla to stop the practice. She doesn’t deserve sympathy, not even a little.

    I thought this was revealed to be a myth.

  80. 80.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    November 1, 2008 at 11:21 pm

    Sounds like McCain made an ass of himself on SNL –

    1. the skit was based on how broke he is
    2. Tina Fey actually said "I’m going rogue"…

    OMFG!

    This is going to get him elected?

    Bring on Tuesday!

  81. 81.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    November 1, 2008 at 11:23 pm

    I thought this was revealed to be a myth.

    Ummm, where’d ya hear that? No, this is true.

  82. 82.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    November 1, 2008 at 11:25 pm

    Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

    I suppose you were one of those people who felt I should sit directly under the air conditioner blowing full blast at 56 degrees?

  83. 83.

    Limniade

    November 1, 2008 at 11:25 pm

    I’m surprised nobody’s come back and pointed out that McCain was born in Panama, and contested whether HE was a citizen. Turnabout is fair play, after all.

    At least Obama was born IN the country.

  84. 84.

    kommrade jakevich

    November 1, 2008 at 11:27 pm

    @Comrade Stuck: Yeah. About that. Is there any other crime where the victim is expected to pay for an investigation of the crime TWICE? Because it is my understanding taxes cover that sort of thing.

    But maybe that’s the Palindrone solution to our economic troubles. Someone broke into your house and swiped your shit? That’ll be $120 an hour + court costs if a suspect is apprehended. We’re very sorry your entire family was killed by an axe murderer, but you still haven’t paid the bill stemming from the investigation, trial and conviction and unless you can cough up an additional $3,000 we will have to release him from prison. House burning down? Firefighters will be there soon. Now will that be check, Visa or MasterCard?

    I can’t believe that in four days I could wake up in a country where that freak is 1 Heartbeat Away from the Oval Office. What. The. Fuck?

  85. 85.

    Josh Hueco

    November 1, 2008 at 11:28 pm

    Recently seen soaped/painted on the rear window of a car here in Waco: "Fidel Castro promised change too." Retards.

  86. 86.

    Limniade

    November 1, 2008 at 11:31 pm

    Bush promised change, too. Well, okay, he definitely delivered, but he promised POSITIVE change.

  87. 87.

    Jim Henley

    November 1, 2008 at 11:35 pm

    I think the Hawaii Department of Health director also has the Whitey tape.

  88. 88.

    Comrade Stuck

    November 1, 2008 at 11:38 pm

    @Brian J:

    No, it’s true. The only part that’s murky is whether she herself set the policy. No written record of that has been found. That’s why I didn’t make that claim in my comment. She was mayor when it was a big enough controversy for the State Leg. to force an end to the practice. Now, Sarah claims she was completely in the dark that it was a policy in the town where she was mayor and could have stopped the practice and didn’t. Nobody buys that claim obviously. Some have theorized that it was because the rape kit also came with a morning after pill, that her fellow fundies opposed giving out.

  89. 89.

    Delia

    November 1, 2008 at 11:52 pm

    So let me get this straight. The wingers have been hyperventilating about Obama’s birth certificate for months and now it turns out that of course his is completely kosher and normal and official and instead JOHN McCAIN’S BIRTH CERTIFICATE IS ALL FLAKEY????

    Isn’t this SOP for goopers? Your basic psychological projection techniques. Too bad it happened two days before the election; no one will have time to investigate WHAT REALLY HAPPENED IN PANAMA.

  90. 90.

    Comrade Stuck

    November 2, 2008 at 12:01 am

    McCain supporter turns away children of Obama supporters during trick-or-treat

    This is your Compassionate Conservatism at work

  91. 91.

    Learn something

    November 2, 2008 at 12:01 am

    This latest news report only proves something if you’re gullible. In fact, it raises more questions than it answers. What many probably don’t know is that it’s possible to get a HI birth certificate without having been born there, according to their state law. The news report doesn’t say where he was born, only that his cert is on file.

    Details at my name’s link, and for a detailed discussion of the "proof" previously offered, see the ‘linked from here’ link at that page.

    If replying, double check your comment to make sure it’s logical. That’s important.

  92. 92.

    kommrade jakevich

    November 2, 2008 at 12:04 am

    @Delia: Considering McPOW’s original birth certificate was created by poking a tablet of damp clay with a reed, I’m willing to give him a pass on that one.

  93. 93.

    Delia

    November 2, 2008 at 12:06 am

    @Comrade Stuck:

    I remember in 2000 and 2004 these same people were spending a lot of time chortling "You libs lost. We won. Get used to it." I guess they’re just really sore losers, even in anticipation.

  94. 94.

    Brian J

    November 2, 2008 at 12:09 am

    McCain supporter turns away children of Obama supporters during trick-or-treat

    This is your Compassionate Conservatism at work

    What a bunch of assholes. I wouldn’t like it if I saw a bunch of kids dressed up as McCain for Halloween, but then again, I think I’d have enough sense to realize that they are children. The fact that they are paying attention at all is, in some ways, pretty impressive.

  95. 95.

    Enlightened Layperson

    November 2, 2008 at 12:19 am

    Does anyone know how this whole business about Obama’s birth certificate got started in the first place?

    I sort of assumed it was because some questions arose about whether McCain was eligible to be President since he was born in the Canal Zone. Of course, when the question was raised about McCain, everyone agreed that it was unfair to deny him his shot over some legal technicality, especially considering what he suffered in service of his country.

    I sort of assumed that some wingnuts at the issue even being raised and decided to retaliate by claiming Obama was born in Kenya and challenging anyone to prove it wasn’t true.

    But I don’t know for a fact how it got started. Does anyone else?

  96. 96.

    r€nato

    November 2, 2008 at 12:19 am

    you really have to see the video of that story about the woman who refused to give candy to those who didn’t support McCain. Children actually crying because of it.

    What a nasty, bitter bitch. Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face. You think she won anyone over to McCain with that crap?

  97. 97.

    r€nato

    November 2, 2008 at 12:21 am

    This latest news report only proves that my tinfoil hat isn’t on tight enough!

    fixed.

    I’m really going to enjoy watching the far right go straight off the deep end for the next four years.

  98. 98.

    Jeremy Hoey

    November 2, 2008 at 12:22 am

    We have a winner!

    Congratulations, Comrade John, on being the recipient of the 2008 Best Blog Entry Title Award.

    Mountain Dew, indeed… awesome.

    Seriously – the snarky, creative titles and keywords are amongst the things I enjoy most about Balloon Juice. Well-delivered, pithy snark never fails to brighten my day, and I think Comrade John deserves a shout-out for being such and accomplished practitioner of that dark art.

  99. 99.

    Fulcanelli

    November 2, 2008 at 12:27 am

    @CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII: There’s no refund on that toys bought in that kind of store, if you know what I mean… Health department laws.

  100. 100.

    handy

    November 2, 2008 at 12:28 am

    @Learn something: Awesome!

  101. 101.

    John D

    November 2, 2008 at 12:33 am

    @Learn something: You have to *really* be looking for some kind of loophole in order to twist logic as badly as you have done here.

    Here’s the facts:

    A) Obama has a birth certificate issued by the state of Hawaii. This is a modern certificate, run off on a laser printer, stamped with an embossed seal, and is considered to be identification enough to be issued a US Passport, for example.

    B) This certificate was scanned and placed on his websote, ad was subsequently photographed by FactCheck.org

    C) Notwithstanding this, various people claim this is STILL not enough.

    D) The Hawaiian director for the states Department of Health claimed today that they have "personally seen and verified that the Hawaii State Department of Health has Sen. Obama’s original birth certificate on record in accordance with state policies and procedures."

    If you are so stupid as to believe that there would be a *Kenyan* certificate on file in accordance with state policies and procedures, when the state has no fucking procedures for dealing with foreign birth certificates, I strongly suggest you seek help.

    If you are so stupid as to believe in a grand conspiracy that is forging documents with appropriate seals and signatures, Photoshopping same, involving — at a minimum — dozens of state and local officials, seek help even more quickly. You are delusional.

    At this point, I am treating anyone who claims that Barack Obama’s birthplace is an "unsettled matter" or "insufficiently documented" in precisely the same way I do the drunk guy who raves about the gummint mindcontrolling him. They’re both delusional fools who refuse to get the help they need, so I avoid them like the plague, and mock them when I am unable to avoid them.

  102. 102.

    Fulcanelli

    November 2, 2008 at 12:34 am

    @kommrade jakevich: You owe me a keyboard, damn you guys are on fire!

  103. 103.

    r€nato

    November 2, 2008 at 12:36 am

    OK so SNL just came on out west here.

    McCain, you know, he’s actually kind of a funny guy.

    I like him a lot better as a comedian than I do as a candidate.

  104. 104.

    Joe Max

    November 2, 2008 at 12:59 am

    Tweety’s sidekick covering McCain says that the GOP campaign is miffed that they haven’t been given credit for not having “played the race card” against Obama (ie. Wright).

    Great – they refrained from playing the last, most despicable card in their deck full of fear-and-smear.

    What do they want, a fucking cookie?

  105. 105.

    Delia

    November 2, 2008 at 12:59 am

    you really have to see the video of that story about the woman who refused to give candy to those who didn’t support McCain. Children actually crying because of it.

    As the commenters over on Wonkette point out, the local Fox station in Detroit kindly announced her name and showed her house on the air. I’m sure she’s had a really fun day today and is in for just a fabulous week.

  106. 106.

    gwangung

    November 2, 2008 at 1:05 am

    @John D:
    Don’t forget the use of applied temporal mechanics to go back in time and insert the announcement of Barrack’s birth into the Hawaiian newspapers….

  107. 107.

    Woodrow "asim" Jarvis Hill

    November 2, 2008 at 1:08 am

    @Joe Max: "You’re not supposed to go to jailrace-bait, you low-expectation-having motherfucker!"

  108. 108.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    November 2, 2008 at 1:31 am

    @Fulcanelli:

    There’s no refund on that toys bought in that kind of store, if you know what I mean… Health department laws.

    Fulcanelli, I’m female, and while I admit to partaking in and enjoying some female flesh sometimes, I don’t need or have any use for blow-up dolls.

    Pervert

  109. 109.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    November 2, 2008 at 1:36 am

    Great – they refrained from playing the last, most despicable card in their deck full of fear-and-smear.

    No they didn’t. There are Wright commercials running all over the country tonight.

    I thought McCain said that was not something he would do?

    He’s fucking desperate. He deserves to lose.

  110. 110.

    truth machine

    November 2, 2008 at 3:11 am

    They should have taken Ben Smith’s advice.

    Smith isn’t as stupid as these cretins, but that’s not saying much. If conservatives honestly ran their ideas against Obama’s, they wouldn’t look like sleazeballs, but they would be consigned to the ideological trash heap.

  111. 111.

    wilfred

    November 2, 2008 at 3:29 am

    Therefore, I as Director of Health for the State of Hawai‘i

    Hawai’i? Isn’t that an Arabacized spelling of good old Hawaii?

  112. 112.

    truth machine

    November 2, 2008 at 3:35 am

    I’m surprised nobody’s come back and pointed out that McCain was born in Panama, and contested whether HE was a citizen.

    Just because you’re ignorant of what everyone else on the planet knows and too stupid to use google doesn’t mean it never happened.

  113. 113.

    truth machine

    November 2, 2008 at 3:36 am

    Hawai’i? Isn’t that an Arabacized spelling of good old Hawaii?

    No, idiot.

  114. 114.

    Dennis - SGMM

    November 2, 2008 at 5:11 am

    @truth machine:
    wilfred was being ironic. Lighten up.

  115. 115.

    The Thinking Man's Mel Torme

    November 2, 2008 at 5:41 am

    I thought McCain said that was not something he would do?

    We’ll, in the word-shaving Repub world, he’s not doing it. Just as he "couldn’t control" the nut-bars at his events, he "can’t control" what GOP Trust PAC does on his behalf. In fact, he’s prohibited by law from even thinking about what an "independent" (heh indeedy) organization does. Or something.

    Also, the chuckleheads who think the end of daylight saving means one gets an extra hour of sleep don’t have cats. My small carnivores run on strictly solar time.

  116. 116.

    Johnny Pez

    November 2, 2008 at 5:57 am

    To be fair to truth machine, it is getting kind of hard to tell liberal snarkiness from genuine conservative dumbfuckery. You could probably find a wingnut somewhere who was prepared to insist that Hawai’i was the Arabic spelling.

  117. 117.

    The Thinking Man's Mel Torme

    November 2, 2008 at 5:59 am

    Wow. One of those serendipitous hits one gets when reading something completely unrelated:

    there is no more parody

  118. 118.

    redbeardjim

    November 2, 2008 at 5:59 am

    Also, the chuckleheads who think the end of daylight saving means one gets an extra hour of sleep don’t have cats. My small carnivores run on strictly solar time.

    Sadly, so do small children.

  119. 119.

    Studly Pantload

    November 2, 2008 at 6:08 am

    Hawai’i? Isn’t that an Arabacized spelling of good old Hawaii?

    Heh, "Alaska" is just an Anglo-cized version of the original, Russian "Alyeska." And when ya think of it thataways, which ticket really contains someone from an exotic-sounding — nay, red-menacingly scary sounding locale, eh, comrade?

  120. 120.

    The Thinking Man's Mel Torme

    November 2, 2008 at 6:14 am

    My link went weird. Let’s try again.

  121. 121.

    Svensker

    November 2, 2008 at 7:48 am

    Come to think of it, I think 78 is wrong, I’m thinkingnow it was 72 (that was so long ago…) but, I can’t handle really cold temps, so that’s probably what it was, I remember I complained.

    No it was 68 in the winter, which is why Jimmy was always wearing a cardy in those days.

  122. 122.

    Punchy

    November 2, 2008 at 7:51 am

    @truth machine: I smelll a newbie…..

    Wow are you going to feel like a fool pretty soon….

  123. 123.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    November 2, 2008 at 7:57 am

    We’ll, in the word-shaving Repub world, he’s not doing it. Just as he "couldn’t control" the nut-bars at his events, he "can’t control" what GOP Trust PAC does on his behalf. In fact, he’s prohibited by law from even thinking about what an "independent" (heh indeedy) organization does. Or something.

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t he have to say something to the effect of "I’m John McCain and I approve this message" at the end? So he doesn’t know he’s running Wright messages? He doesn’t have control? The endorsement of the message at the end would indicate otherwise to me.

    I heard HE was running them, no? Hmmm, a Pac? Oops! Apologies then, I heard HE was running them.

  124. 124.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    November 2, 2008 at 8:05 am

    The official language of Hawai’i is Hawai’i and it is an Austronesian language.

  125. 125.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    November 2, 2008 at 8:09 am

    Just because you’re ignorant of what everyone else on the planet knows and too stupid to use google doesn’t mean it never happened.

    Gee, I’m sorry, I didn’t know until yesterday that there are two separate birth certificates from two separate hospitals and one of them wasn’t even built until five years after he was born… honest, I swear.

    But, we can’t contest it, because Congress gave him a "natural born citizen" endorsement.

    Technically it’s possible he wasn’t, actually.

  126. 126.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    November 2, 2008 at 8:12 am

    daylight saving means

    Sorry, I haven’t experienced such things in a while.

  127. 127.

    Nim, ham hock of liberty

    November 2, 2008 at 8:45 am

    In fact, it raises more questions than it answers.

    LO fucken L.

    I swear they have a keyboard that has this sentence on its own key.

  128. 128.

    Snarki, child of Loki

    November 2, 2008 at 8:47 am

    Oh, the interesting about McCain’s birth certificate isn’t the citizenship issue (although it is arguable), but rather that is lists the father as "Fidel Castro" and twin sibling "Manual Noriega".

    Produce the birth certificate if you want to dispute the claim, but you better make sure that the fonts are correct!

  129. 129.

    Comrade Darkness

    November 2, 2008 at 9:54 am

    But, we can’t contest it, because Congress gave him a "natural born citizen" endorsement.

    That senate endorsement is not legally binding, it’s just a piece of paper with an opinion on it. But it does imply that congress would not sue, and they are one of the few with standing to sue, so in the end it’s all a wash.

    I’m fine with it. Let’s see Palin/Schwartzenegger in 2012.

  130. 130.

    Bey

    November 2, 2008 at 10:18 am

    @boonagain: Liberals, being possessed of IQs higher than those of houseplants, realize that this is a job for a tool, and use chopsticks to eat Cheetos. The elitist arugula eaters among us can just hire a tool to feed them. Also.

    @Delia: That bitch richly deserves what she’s going to get this week. People who are cruel to little kids dressed as pirates and princesses just to make a political point need to have their houses egged.

  131. 131.

    Bill

    November 2, 2008 at 10:50 am

    "tears of disappointment will clean more thoroughly but take longer and the stickiness will be absent."

    Nope. Those tears’re going to be falling in torrents.

  132. 132.

    Jay in Oregon

    November 3, 2008 at 12:05 pm

    I predict the response will sound something like this: “But, but, but…. AYERS!”

    Actually, it’ll probably be more like "So why did it take so long for them to verify it? And this was after Obama flew to Hawaii to ‘visit his sick grandmother’? I smell a whitewash!"

Comments are closed.

Trackbacks

  1. Obviously This Proves Obama Is Martian | Blog of the Moderate Left says:
    November 2, 2008 at 11:45 am

    […] Granted, this won’t stop the truly insane; I won’t subject you to it, but Texas Darlin’ is claiming this doesn’t affect the central theory that Obama is flibber gibbet scoobity dooby. The conspiracy theorists will always find a reson to cling to their castles of air. The rest of us, however, can move on from this once and for all. I’m sure, for example, that Andy McCarthy will apologize for his speculation. […]

  2. Alas, a blog » Blog Archive » Obviously, This Proves Obama is Martian says:
    November 2, 2008 at 11:46 am

    […] Granted, this won’t stop the truly insane; I won’t subject you to it, but Texas Darlin’ is claiming this doesn’t affect the central theory that Obama is flibber gibbet scoobity dooby. The conspiracy theorists will always find a reson to cling to their castles of air. The rest of us, however, can move on from this once and for all. I’m sure, for example, that Andy McCarthy will apologize for his speculation. […]

  3. Balloon Juice » Blog Archive » Obama’s First Act as President says:
    January 21, 2009 at 7:52 pm

    […] According to MSNBC, Obama was administered the oath of office again today, in an act that probably should be called the Andrew McCarthy Full Employment Act of 2009, as no doubt he will spend the next four years seeking to prove that Obama is not technically the President, just as he dedicated the previous few months to proving that Obama was not actually an American citizen. […]

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