And your host slips slowly into a haze as he stumbles around his hotel room, wondering what happened to the evening, which started so innocently with a half dozen mojitos at the Cuban bar with a couple sides of fried plantains.
The accents on those girls were just too cute, and the drinks were so smooth. Maybe Philip Seymour Hoffman will be available for the movie version.
Maybe the Talking Heads is the right choice Ipod. Too much ibuprofen is bad for the organs, after all…
Conventions…
*** Update ***
I have to say that Hello Nasty, despite having quality production values, just did not live up to my own personal hype. Granted, I was a DJ for a number of years and think that Paul’s Boutique still ranks as one of the top five greatest albums ever made, so the bar is set pretty high. But still, I love Ill Communication as a great piece of art from a certain time frame, and think that even today the songs still are worth a listen, and remind me of better times. But when I listen to Hello Nasty, other than Just a Test, I am left wanting so much more.
I was talking to someone earlier and mentioned that when I had my will made before the first Gulf War I just gave power of attorney to my mom, but mandated that if I died that they would play Little Feat- Waiting for Columbus as they lowered my blown up ass into the ground, so maybe I am not the best source for musical advice, but for my money, Paul’s Boutique is a masterpiece that transcends the genre, Ill Communication is serviceable and fun, and Hello Nasty is a handful of suck.
Egg man.
*** Update **
As this is a late night thread, let me just say that I hope Harry Reid treats Joe Lieberman like Ketel One treats Rhandi Rohodes. Expanding the rhymes like MC Amateurs, if you will.
ninerdave
Did you at least take one back to your room?
Comrade Stuck
Nothing but Flowers
Diane Demorney
Water, John. And lots of it. As well, a couple of Gravol ™. Maybe a few ASA tablets (just to make sure). Have on hand protein in the morning and some caffeine. Just sayin’
stickler
There is, of course, no rational response to your current situation …
Except — more booze!
Huzzaaaarghchzchtsch! Hrurk! hik!
Barkeep, I’ll have another, if you pleeasczhe.
p.a.
Let the water hold you down
Since he came on the scene, I’ve always associated the line and you may ask yourself…well, how did I get here? with GWB. Also the song Pulled Up from Talking Heads ’77.
Jon H
Maybe some pedialyte, hydration fluid for kids. Comes in flavored freeze pops!
Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse
Oh, yes, John, if you have ’77, you HAVE to play Pulled Up. And you have to dance and hop around your hotel room and sing along. Then you can tell the night manager that some DFHs on the Intertubes led you astray.
(Seriously: water, Advil, and some SUGAR now, like the creepy crawlies in Men in Black, only for real. Your liver needs to replenish its sugar stores. If you can find some Gatorade, terrific, but some mild juice (apple, not orange, which is acidic and irritating) would also be fine.
And if you don’t have Pulled Up, you can right click this link to get your own copy.
I cast a shadow on the living-room wall
Dark and savage with a profile so sharp
Keep that wonderful food on the table
There’s really no hurry I’ll eat in a while
ninerdave
Why is Balloon-Juice wanting to show me a popup?
Oliver's Neck
That’s a bit harsh. You’re absolutely right that Paul’s Boutique is one of the best albums of all time, but AdRock’s sampling on Hello Nasty is pretty impressive stuff.
To the Five Boroughs, on the other hand, is a bucket of teh suk.
And the Black Sheep’s first album is a gem, but avoid the second like plague.
breakin’ north like…
ninerdave
I had a drink, a nasty drink the other night that one of my friends talked me into trying.
Redbull and Jager.
Two tastes I cannot stand. Yet I drank it and was repulsed. I wonder why
John Cole
Christ. I had too many Mojitos, I didn’t say I had a handle of vodka will feeding latin strippers a fistful of euros.
I think water will be ok.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
…if I died that they would play Little Feat- Waiting for Columbus as they lowered my blown up ass into the ground, so maybe I am not the best source for musical advice…
You could do a lot worse. I plan to have my remains cremated on that sad day hopefully far in the future – maybe I should have them play "Don’t bogart that joint" when I’m in the oven. What better song for getting baked?
Plus yes, women with cute accents = teh bomb. My current favorite example here is a Slovakian beauty whose accent sounds like French-flavored Russian. Yumma.
Nylund
License to Ill? Check your Head?
My first college roommate and I absolutely hated each others music, with the exception of our mutual love for Paul’s Boutique. This meant it was the only cd that could be played when we were both in the room, and eventually, it just stayed in the CD player full time.
One day we realized it had been on repeat for hours on end (including when we both went to class). Initially, as a joke, we decided to just never turn it off. After a day or two it became a test of will and endurance. After a week, it had simply become a fact of life. It’d get turned down lower when we had to sleep and turned back up during the day. Eventually, not hearing it became weird (like when we went to class). It was almost a month before we finally turned it off.
I think it took me about 8 years to be able to listen to that album after that.
John Cole
@Nylund: I could never get tired of Paul’s Boutique. Ever.
I bet I have 400 albums on my Ipod, and I listen to it every time I turn it on.
It never ages. It is that good.
Hey Ladies just sounds that sweet.
It is ear silk.
ninerdave
Well you should have.
Try attending NAMM one year. If you liver gets out alive, ur doin’ it wrong
jeffro
Ooh, eerie! The wife and I were just saying the other night that we’re pretty sure Obama listens to the Beastie Boys. We saw an interview with Jeff Tweedy that taught us that Barack likes Wilco, so that kind of narrows down preferred musical era. Then, we saw an election eve clip of Obama talking about feeling nervous enough to have a heart attack in which he screwed up the famous Sanford and Son "I’m coming Elizabeth" quote, substituting Weezie for Elizabeth, just as Mike D does on Shazam from To the Five Boroughs! So I’m a Beastie Boys geek, wanna fight? Oh, and hello my name is Jeff.
Shawn
Totally agree on Paul’s Boutique. I’ve loved that album since the day it came out.
Just ask for Janice…518-418-ten-fourty-three…
dobrojutro
Girl Talk samples BBoys if you care to hear resampling of samples.
zzzz
John, if you requested Waiting for Columbus for your funeral, you are officially the coolest person I don’t really know. Besides you’re switching sides (responsibly), and your Jerry Garcia anniversary post featuring the only comment I ever left on a blog (prior to this), you are obviously a great person with impeccable taste. Keep up the good blogging, I have been reading since I originally hated on you. Reality is a necessary, if not always great place to reside.
Teduardo
Yep… Paul’s Boutique was like Bob Dylan to me at age 16/17. One of my all time favorite albums. I got to play an opening slot on a bill headed up by the Beasties at Michigan State University on their Check Your Head tour… real nice guys, all of em.
OriGuy
I’ve been watching the Comedy Central Election Night show, since I missed it on Tuesday. The commercials from Yahoo have Gogol Bordello’s Start Wearing Purple. I’m blown away. The fact that I’m trying to finish a bottle of orange liqueur that’s been taking up space in the cabinet may have something to do with that.
Steve Forbes was on the show. He shouldn’t try to be funny.
Bubblegum Tate
Paul’s Boutique = one of the greatest sample-based albums of all time. Pioneering use of a lot of breaks on that one.
L. Ron Obama
Well, Black Sheep’s first album was along the lines of De La Soul, while their second was … not. I think they took themselves a little too seriously. Avoid it like the plague is too harsh in my opinion, but the style is certainly completely different.
Loneoak
Fixed.
Conservatively Liberal
I’m with George Carlin; When I die I want to be blown up. My choice for my funeral song is the Rolling Stones Sympathy for the Devil.
robertdsc
LOL at the Clown Shoes tag.
This Is Just To Say
I have drank
the half dozen mojitos
left on the counter
at the Cuban bar
and which
were served with
a couple sides of fried plantains
Forgive me
The accents on those girls were just too cute,
and the drinks were so smooth
Redhand
Ah, the joys of a single youth, especially when alcohol serves as placebo for raging libido. Been there, done that.
May I recommend as alternate remedy drop dead gorgeous Russian with — and this is important part — great character, intelligence, wit, fidelity and recognition that female caregiver impulse is not insult to women’s rights?
On your music discussion, you lost me except for the Talking Heads "Once in a Lifetime" reference. It’s relevant to Lieberman’s nauseating "Can’t we just be friends and forget that election stuff" plea via TPM. I’m sure Joe’s singing to himself, "My God, what have I done?!" now, but he needs to know there’s no walk-back or going home after this one. Bring on the smash mouth!
kommrade jakevich
Trying to keep up with Mr. Hemingway are we? Next you’ll be waving a machine gun at sharks.
And it’s iPod.
cleek
get a good buzz on, put on Remain In Light, and let the world fade away. mm mm good times.
i just pulled last of the new Beastie Boys off my iPod this weekend. it was too depressing to hear how much they deteriorated. so nothing after Ill Communication remains.
DrDave
Waiting for Columbus is one of the greatest live albums by the most underrated band of all time.
"Roll another one…"
John S.
Speaking of De La Soul…
De La Soul Is Dead is one of my faves. One of the best conceptual comedic rap albums of all time. The read along storybook was genius.
Dennis - SGMM
@DrDave:
Ha! Saw ’em live, with the Allman Brothers in Santa Barbara, back in my split-windshield VW bus days.
drobnox
Tuscon to Tucumcari, Tehachapi to TonopahThat Waiting For columbus was some cool, hot shit back in the day. was another great track.
The Grand Panjandrum
Watch out you might get what you’re after.
TR
For a hangover, try a regular Alka Seltzer. Works like a charm for the stomach and the headache.
For De La Soul, AOL:Bionix is one of the greatest albums of all time.
R. Stanton Scott
Everything the Beastie Boys ever recorded is a handful of suck.
Little Feat’s worst effort beats the crap out of any song that samples other work.
Face
Could not disagree more. Thought that album rocked. So diff than Hello Nasty, more old-school.
Punchy
Is your name Michael Diamond?
No, I’m Clarence.
Tim
Alcoholism is a treatable disease.
EdTheRed
Had too much to drink at the Red Lobster
Now the room is spinnin’ round like the blades of a helicopter
…and I believe Beavis coined the mixed-up "Lamont! Lamont! It’s the Big One! I’m comin’ to join you, Weezie!" phrase before the Beasties did.
MMM
why is Tunch glued to the ceiling again?
Quit tooting you SOB
South of I-10
Got arrested at the Mardi Gras for jumpin on a float
My man MCA’s got a beard like a billy goat
bago
See, I went all AirDrawnDagger at this one. Also, letting the Cables sleep is a damn fine series of songs.
Pastafarian
Hopefully you didn’t become anybody’s Dixie Chicken.
I wore out 2 different cassettes of that album before I got a CD of it.
R.I.P. Lowell George
jeffro
@EdTheRed:
Dude! A pit stop at Mike Judge on the way to a flawed Sanford and Son quote in a Beastie Boys song? That’s at least a 2 layered reference, possibly three or more if my pet theory is true. I salute.
Cassidy
Every Beastie Boys album is amazing in its own way, but Ill Communication is definately the most fun.
Tsulagi
Good stuff, right? Che’s soul food, Democrat. But then everyman Pepe el plomero scarfs them down also so you can claim your maverick bona fides too.
I’m assuming you’re talking Spanish accents. You got that right. I think a French accent is a bit sexier, but my Argentine wife is damned adorable when she butchers American slang with her accent.
Krista
That’s what I did to License to Ill. I was 12 years old when I picked it up, and remember begging my folks to play it in the car when we went on road trips. They relented once. I will give them credit: they made it as far as "Hold It Now, Hit It" before my stepdad ejected the tape and put Kris Kristofferson back on.
Mwangangi
@Oliver’s Neck: Although the lead single from that 2nd abominable album "Without a Doubt" was dope. What was that line… oh yeah, "…you’re turning me off like a naked anorexic…"
binzinerator
Seconded. Love that juju guitar stuff in there.
robert green
paul’s boutique and 3 feet high and rising reached a certain height of musicality, songwriting and sampling which was never reached again, or at least not until the mash-up pirate mp3 stuff started happening. and none of those guys could write lyrics like the beasties:
and of course
EdTheRed
@robert green:
Well I figured out who makes the crack
It’s the suckers with the badges and the blue jackets
Beastiemania is perhaps the best site ever. Paul’s Boutique Info is pretty good, too. So many samples…
Polish the Guillotines
Paul’s Boutique is the ultimate in referential genius.
Where else would you find a tune made up of drops from Superfly and Psycho (The Eggman)?
And of course one of the greatest lines ever (from Hey Ladies): "I got more hits than Sadaharu Oh."
It’s the Sgt. Pepper of hip-hop.
Bill
I was there at Lisner Auditorium when they recorded parts of Waiting for Columbus. I also was at Lisner for the show the night before Lowell George died while on his solo tour. When they came back after his death, I always wondered if it would have ever happened if Lowell had lived. Seeing them post Lowell, there’s something missing. Nothing wrong with the playing, but no emotional core. I was particularly disappointed when they trotted out "Willin’" for the first encore, just like before. Seemed to me that it was time to stand on thir own. Not so much that they played it, but when they played it.
t4toby
Late to the party, but I second the Paul’s Boutique as top five album ever.
Gern Blanston
Dude!!! Lay off Hello Nasty, although nothing will ever beat Paul’s Boutique, there are some great funky songs on there.
When it comes to envy gold is green
Jealous of the rhyme and rhyme routine
Another dimension new galaxy
Intergalactic Planetary!
Or, if you prefer, a line from Paul’s Boutique for Joe Lieberman:
I was making records when you were sucking your mother’s dick!
bago
for the awesome, I just flew virgin air into San dean and they were playing airdrawndagger when I got on the plane.
Elliott
Paul’s Boutique is the best album, but The New Style is the best song.
Fulcanelli
@Polish the Guillotines:
Well put!
Waiting for Columbus… Tasty stuff, John. Caught that tour and a few LF tours with Lowell way back in the mists of time.
Awhile after Lowell George died, the remaining members called themselves "Feats" and toured. My band opened up for them here in RI, we usually played a number of LF covers in our set but naturally avoided them all that hight except we closed with "Fatman in the Bathtub". They dug it and we all celebrated in the dressing room with Heinekens and fatties of hydroponic Indica. Very laid-back, LA cool guys to hang with.
RIP Lowell
LiberalTarian
@Pastafarian: I’m with ya. Lowell George had a voice that melted butter … Roll ‘um easy, slow and easy …
I don’t listen to Little Feat like I used to, but on their "come back" album I always cried a little for Lowell when they sang,
So, maybe you don’t think Little Feat is the best, but man, when they were on, they were so on.
Comradedownvalleytrash
All y’all lovin Paul’s Bou-tiq-que, best be listenin to Nas, Illmatic as well.
I’ve seen Bob Dylan 3 or 4 times since 1988, and not once did he bring it like Wilco did when I saw ’em in May.
Barack likes Wilco?
makes perfect fucking sense to me.