Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Eh, that’s media spin. biden’s health is fine and he’s doing a good job.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

“More of this”, i said to the dog.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

Conservatism: there are some people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

The revolution will be supervised.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

Not all heroes wear capes.

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Jack Smith.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

All your base are belong to Tunch.

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

You are here: Home / Palin Rendered In Verse

Palin Rendered In Verse

by | 49 Comments

This post is in: 

Let it roll over you.

Gah!
Nothing specific right now.
Sitting here in these chairs
that I’m going to be proposing
but
in working with these governors who
again on the front lines
are forced to
and it’s our privileged obligation
to find solutions
to the challenges facing our own states
every day
being held accountable,
not being just one of many
just casting votes
or voting present every once
in a while, we don’t
get away with that.
We have to balance budgets
and we’re dealing with multibillion dollar budgets
and tens of thousands of employees
in our organizations.

Reader Interactions

49Comments

  1. 1.

    dewberry

    Gah!

    Why is it
    all Palin
    all the time
    on the teevee?

    Isn’t it time for a winter hibernation or something?

  5. 5.

    Jim Downey

    Sarah Palin Eyes.*

    *to the tune of Betty Davis Eyes. Apologies to Kim Carnes.

    ***********************************

    She’s in Reagan’s mold
    McCain’s big surprise
    She won’t be undersold
    She’s got Sarah Palin eyes

    She’ll turn her bullshit on you
    You won’t get to think twice
    She’s the Right Wing show
    She’s got Sarah Palin eyes

    The rest of it is at the source cited.

  6. 6.

    demimondian

    Wow.

    You know, Tim,
    Rendered in verse,
    The flow of her
    Thoughts

    Such as they are.

    Is transparent.
    Eloquent.
    And almost English.

    Such as we speak.

    Yet,
    Also,
    And Again.
    She is a moron.

    Such as we knew.

  7. 7.

    Tom Hilton

    I’m like
    OK, God, if
    there is an open door
    for me somewhere
    this is what I always pray

    I’m like
    don’t let me miss
    the open door. Show me
    where the open door is.

    Even if it’s
    cracked up a little
    bit, maybe I’ll
    plow right on through
    that and maybe prematurely
    plow through it
    but don’t let me miss
    an open door.

    And if there is
    an open door in
    (20)12 or four years later
    and if it is something
    that is going to be good
    for my family
    for my state
    for my nation
    an opportunity for me

    then I’ll plow through that door.

    (That’s only part of the quote; the rest is here.)

  8. 8.

    Keith

    Gah! I misread the title to read "Palin Rendered in Reverse" and figured someone took one of her rants and reversed the phrases. As I read it, I was thinking "Yeah, it’s pretty disjointed but surprisingly pretty close to how Palin’s sentences generally sound – i.e. cut/pasted with a speechwriter’s version of ProTools.
    It’s as if someone is discussing a book s/he didn’t read, but I expect little more from someone who basically won some political version of American Idol

  9. 9.

    Libby Spencer

    Well, it works better in verse, but it’s no less frightening that this woman was an actual serious contender for high office. What does that even mean and why do they keep showing her on my teevee?

  12. 12.

    MNPundit

    Gah!

    I must see
    the youtube of this because
    though she is mad
    she is pathetically
    cute

    A dumb puppy
    in heels and
    an updo.

  13. 13.

    Joe Beese

    Since she’s gonna be the new Reagan and all that fierceness, take a moment and reflect how she is less articulate in unscripted speech than was a septuagenarian with Alzheimer’s.

  14. 14.

    MarkusB

    Nice job on the verse.

    I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop. How did this woman not get elected? Whatever happened to Murphy’s Law?

    Well done, America, you avoided suicide, at least this time.

  15. 15.

    Joe Beese

    BTW, did MyIQ ever dare to show his face here after last Tuesday? [I remember him fondly from my pre-banning days at CorrenteWire.] Or is he still hiding behind riverdaughter’s skirts?

  18. 18.

    Joshau Norton

    On NBC’s "Today" show, Palin said she was surprised when McCain and his top advisers refused to allow her to make introductory remarks before his concession speech.

    "I thought . . . Jeez, let’s do something a little bit out of the box here," she said.

    Mmmmm, Folksy. Now stop it. Stop it right now.
    You lost — get over yourself.

    Also, I would like to inform Ms. Palin I never go down into my parents’ basement. Its haunted.

  19. 19.

    Laura W

    It was
    a collaborative effort
    there
    in deciding how do we start bringing
    up
    some of the associations
    that
    perhaps
    would be impacting on
    an administration,
    on the future of
    America.
    But again,
    though,
    Wolf,
    knowing that it really — at this point,
    I don’t want to point fingers
    backwards
    and play the blame game,
    certainly,
    on anything that took place
    in terms of
    strategy
    or messaging
    in the campaign.

    Now
    is the time
    to move forward
    together,
    start progressing
    America.

    "There is Purpose in Everything" – S. Palin, 11/12/08

  20. 20.

    Zifnab

    A woman from Wasallia once
    The VP-ship desperately hunts
    Will get on TV
    In front of Katie
    And quickly prove herself a dunce

    The public will stare on in shock
    And flee to her rival, Barack
    But thou the race she loses
    In GOoPer bought shoeses
    She’ll haunt cable news round the clock

  23. 23.

    boonagain

    As Putin rears his head
    and comes
    into the air space of the United States of America,
    where– where do they go?
    It’s Alaska.
    It’s just right over the border

  25. 25.

    EdTheRed

    PALIN:
    He’s also known as the maverick though
    Taking shots from his own party,
    and certainly taking shots
    from the other party. Trying
    to get people to understand
    what he’s been talking about–
    the need to reform government.

    CHORUS:
    I’m just going to ask you one more time,
    not to belabor the point:
    Specific examples
    in his 26 years of pushing
    for more regulation?

    PALIN:
    I’ll try to find ya some
    and I’ll bring ‘em to ya.

  28. 28.

    Bubblegum Tate

    Rendered in verse, Palin’s vapidness becomes almost transcendental. Call it the Tao Te Chump.

  32. 32.

    DMcK

    What does that even mean and why do they keep showing her on my teevee?

    I believe she’s comparing the rigors of her tough, experience-building job as Queen of Alaska with that of those goldbricking layabouts in Congress (like her running mate, I guess). Like, "Jeez, I got ta find those solutions…they just got ta vote every once in a while!"

  33. 33.

    Louise

    Oh, the Rumsfeld poetry! That was classic stuff. Now all someone needs to do is create a 2-character opera with Don and Sarah. Just hum along!

    "I would not say that the future is necessarily less predictable than the past. I think the past was not predictable when it started."

    "Absolutely. Yup, yup."

    "I believe what I said yesterday. I don’t know what I said, but I know what I think, and, well, I assume it’s what I said."

    "In what respect, Charlie?"

    By the way, thank you to everyone who participated in the Armando Roast And Pie Eating Event earlier today. The thread was just the therapy I needed this evening.

  38. 38.

    Shaggy

    The woman never opens her mouth without spewing disdain in Obama’s very specific direction, all the while armoring her snide expressions with that disingenuous folkspeak and a smile that would’ve scared Kubrick.

    She reminds me of every bitter, unhappy, phony, power-hungry woman I’ve ever met.

  40. 40.

    AnneLaurie

    … but I expect little more from someone who basically won some political version of American Idol

    So, can we expect her to show up in a giant faux-Mohawk for next week’s episode?

  41. 41.

    Rix

    You mentioned education
    and I’m glad you did.
    I know education
    you are passionate about
    with your wife bein’ a teacher
    for 30 years,
    and god bless her.
    Her reward is in heaven,
    right?

  42. 42.

    mcconnor

    That’s why I say,
    I like
    every American I’m speaking with
    we’re ill
    about this position
    that we have been put in
    where it is the tax payers
    looking
    to
    bailout.

    But ultimately,
    what the bailout does
    is help
    those who are concerned about
    the health care
    reform that is needed
    to help
    shore up the economy

    – Helping the —

    Oh, it’s got to be
    about job creation
    too.
    Shoring up our economy
    and putting it
    back
    on the right track.

    So health care reform
    and reducing taxes
    and reining in spending
    has got to
    accompany tax reductions
    and tax relief
    for Americans.

    And trade
    we’ve got to see
    trade
    as opportunity, not
    as a competitive scary thing.
    But
    1 in 5 jobs being created
    in the trade sector today.
    We’ve got to look
    at
    that as more opportunity.
    All those things
    under
    the umbrella of job creation.

    This bailout is a part of that.

  43. 43.

    eyeball

    Palin seems to fall in line with a tiny number of demagogic American female state political figures. This makes me wonder whether we will be reading about her in history books as a seminal icon of the sort, since she has launched a national movement that embraces her strange blend of ignorance, hokum and venality.

    Palin is reminiscent of the nation’s 2d female governor, Miriam A. "Ma" Ferguson of Texas, who:

    – was elected after her husband was impeached on corruption charges and in essence allowed him to shadow gov and, more importantly, be the bag man for their crime syndicate.

    – was investigated by texas state legisl for selling prison pardons for cash (think Deadwood-style politics) and for granting New Deal state highway contracts only to companies that advertised in the Fergusons’ newspaper, "Ferguson Forum.’

    Old Ma Ferguson is credited with the quote: “If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it ought to be good enough for the children of Texas." I truly can’t wait for Palin to pop this one.

  44. 44.

    Matthew

    I find she works best in the style of e.e. cummings. Apologies for using the original "poem" but:

    Gah!

    Nothing
    (specific right now.)

    Sitting here in these chairs
    that
    I’m
    (going to be) proposing

    BUT

    in working with these governors who

    (again on the front lines) are forced to

    AND

    it’s our privileged obligation
    to find solutions
    to the challenges facing our own states

    (every day)

    being held accountable,

    NOT being just one of many
    just casting votes
    (or voting present every once
    in a while, we don’t
    get away with that.)

    we have to
    balance
    budgets (we’re dealing with multibillion dollar budgets)

    and tens of thousands of employees
    in our organizations.

  46. 46.

    Mary from CT

    Okay, I admit it –
    I’m an Orwell geek!
    Won’t someone start a service
    That translates PalinSpeak?

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