Right now, outside my house somewhere, there is a cat in heat, and it is making the most unnatural sounds ever. So, you all know what that means. There is a rather freaked out fat white cat (screw it, I give up. He is fat.) charging around my house knocking things over and generally going crazy.
In other news, ever singled damned channel I have turned to for news has had Sarah Palin on sharing her deep thoughts. Here she is with Wolf Blitzer:
BLITZER: Are you ready to help him?
PALIN: Absolutely. Especially on energy independence, energy security that we need for this nation, being the governor of an energy-producing state knowing that we have the domestic solutions there in our state and in other energy-producing states.
I’m more than willing and able to help President-elect Obama to start tapping into the domestic solutions that we have now so we can quit being so reliant on foreign sources of energy.
I guess it is pointless to note that she doesn’t know what the hell she is talking about regarding energy matters:
“Of course, it’s a fungible commodity and they don’t flag, you know, the molecules, where it’s going and where it’s not. But in the sense of the Congress today, they know that there are very, very hungry domestic markets that need that oil first. So, I believe that what Congress is going to do, also, is not to allow the export bans to such a degree that it’s Americans who get stuck holding the bag without the energy source that is produced here, pumped here. It’s got to flow into our domestic markets first.”
Let me be the first to say “Thanks, but no thanks.” I think we can muddle through without her “expertise.” At any rate, several of you have mentioned this in the comments already, but didn’t candidates for President and Vice President used to go away after they lost? In fact, isn’t that kind of the point of elections- we, as a nation, got together on 4 November, looked at McCain and Palin and said, rather emphatically, “No. Go away.”
I really don’t remember this happening before. The only time I saw Bob Dole after the 1996 election was selling Viagra. Al Gore apparently holed up in a cheesecake factory for two years and grew a beard. John Kerry, well, I don’t know what he did, but it was probably treasonous and French-like- maybe he went wind-surfing in the Mediterranean or something.
The point being, they went away. Why won’t she just go away? I am tired of hearing all these grating, irritating sounds. And I am not talking about just the cat in heat outside.
Right now, outside my house somewhere, there is a cat in heat, and it is making the most unnatural sounds ever.
Really? Sarah Palin is outside your house at this very minute?
Btw, many males (Wolf Blitzer, Sean Hannity, Matt Lauer…) have been known to react similarly in the presence of Sarah Palin, though I wouldn’t call it "freaking out." More like "falling all over themselves."
The crack I made to my cohabitant was "I haven’t heard a word from Joe Biden, and he was elected!"
Clearly a learned scientist be Sarah Serendipity. It’s sheer profundity, if you think about it. I mean, how can you argue with "the molecules, where it’s going and where it’s not". Pure genius, I wish I’d presented that nugget of wisdom to my former Chemistry teachers. I could have watched their heads explode trying to cypher the meaning. Sarah covers all her bases. Too bad it’s with Fairy Dust.
She reminds me of Jayne on Firefly during the Ariel episode where he’s ever so proud that he memorized his piece of medical gobblety-gook that he doesn’t know what it means, but it sounds important, so damnit he’s going to say cause he worked so damn hard for it.
Tunch is not fat.
He’s just engorged.
Zombie Palin will not die.
Listen, John. Sarah Palin has captured our nation’s heart in a way that few other national politicians ever could. She’s young, she’s attractive, she’s female, and she’s a Republican. Like the Britney Spears of US Governors.
And, like Britney Spears, she’s an absolute train wreck. The sort of train wreck that, when put on TV, immediately glues eyeballs to screens.
Remember when Anna Nicole Smith, Natalie Hollaway and John Bene Ramsey got thrown up on TV screens every five fucking minutes because ZOMG! Blonde people in dramatic situations! Meet the new cable news porn. Expect Sarah to dye her hair before her inevitable run for President in 2012.
As a country, we’re pretty serious about that whole 15 minutes of fame thing. Somehow she’s managed to stretch it to 45 through convoluted grammar and a lack of an ending "g."
What makes this worse is the media still refusing to ask Palin any tough questions despite not being given the chance to do so during the campaign.
The media seems to be trying very hard to build Palin up as legitimate leader when she is as moronic and uninformed as Joe the Plumber, who we hopefully won’t have to hear from again.
Ivan Ivanovich Renko
Look here, y’all.
The woman is ghetto. I don’t know what the hell they call it amongs the melanin-deprived, but you know exactly what I mean.
Sarah’s out for the get-over, pure and simple. She has siezed the main chance and she’s gonna milk it for every stinking ruble she can get out of it.
I don’t think the media have learned anything about journalism from this election. Even when they get taken completely for a ride, multiple times
Also, the media have to bide their time until they can blame Obama for the recc/deppression.
"Expect Sarah to dye her hair before her inevitable run for President in 2012."
Those will be *highlights* dontchaknow.
Cheesecake Factory? How elitist–no wonder he lost. Real Americans hole themselves up in the Dairy Queen.
Palin apparently sees the stupid vacuum on the teevee and has decided it’s her job to fill it, youbetcha!
Bobby Jindal will be in Iowa on November 22. The GOP primaries are under way.
With utmost respect to you, Mr. Cole: Duh.
Comrade Desert Hussein Rat
In defense of John Kerry, he has the excuse of still being a US Senator.
Why the fuck anybody wants to ask the Governor of Alaska/Worst VP Candidate Ever about anything is a mystery to me.
Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse
Obama is a much better cartoonist than Palin is a poet. FAIL, again.
This message comes to you from the Bush Crime Syndicate. Just when you though it was safe to go outside.
Polish the Guillotines
@Ivan Ivanovich Renko:
I believe the preferred nomenclature is "white trash."
"ghetto" translates to "trailer trash" here in the south and to be honest that is exactly what she is, I am suprised to be honest that she doesn’t have a black velvet Elvis in the governor’s mansion. As far as I know she actually might.
I didn’t really know what kinds of sounds cats in heat made, but after visiting YouTube, I now realize that there have been several such cats outside my apartment. My cats, both boys, just roll over and go back to sleep, which should be any reasonable person’s response to Sarah Palin. Unfortunately, it looks like she’s hitting all the networks, so that’s pretty impossible to do. With ABC, CBS and any number of local access channels to go, and allotting two days per interview, she could go until Christmas, or slightly longer the actual cat heat cycle.
Sled dogs playing poker.
I think she’s angling for her own tv show.
Think Sarah’s House of Style: Livin’ fly on the GOP tip
Is there any place in the industrialized world that launches more and better dopes into the political arena than us? USA!USA!USA!USA!etc…
@Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse:
Why is he multi-talented? I can’t draw a squiggle, damnit; it always looks like a box exploding. Are you sure it’s for real? Great, another reason to hate him.
The sound of cats in heat is annoying but not that bad.
The sound of foxes though, it’s like someone being murdered.
Just when you thought it was safe to turn on the teevee, the GOP, with a dying wheeze, manages to infect the polity with the SP virus. The virus works by rendering the watcher incapable of noticing … anything other than the virus. This enables the SP virus to efficiently harvest the victims’ funds as well as their brains.
Dennis - SGMM
I for one am grateful to Governor Palin for freeing us from the twin tyrannies of Grammar and Usage. She has, even more than Obama, demonstrated that anyone – and I mean anyone – can run for high office in the US. Sarah Palin has given new hope to the ignorant, the uniformed, and the clownish. She has provided a standard bearer for the xenophobes and the racists of this proud land. Without her, those who believe that the earth is only six thousand years old could only look forward to jobs involving fast food. We owe her a debt of gratitude.
This latest media saturation is really gonna make people sick of her-she is turning into a bigger joke than before…and that voice. I’ll never forgive her for ruining Fargo for me.
Would someone please wood chip her?
I recommend crosses, garlic, and holy water.
Failing that, I say we lift off and nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
Seriously, though, she’s sticking around because the fetid, rotting, cancerous blight on the Republican party known as the neocons have anointed Sarah as their personal messiah for 2012.
They haven’t yet reached the realization that every time she opens her mouth, she makes George Bush seem more intelligent by comparison.
I know where I will end up after this, but I will give it a try.
Where in your bullshit ass clown way do you find that she knows nothing about the energy? Where in your worthless soldiers life did you ever see any real fighter quit beacause they lost a fight?
You seem to think you are above others, you are the same POS you have always been. You find true fault only in others, and mild errors in yourself.
You promote filth to maintain your readers. You speak as if you know all the DC insiders.
I say you are part of the reason this country acts the way it does. That part being Anti- American, but you take what is given or believed what is owed to you, not earning it. You solicit to only those who agree with you. You want your share of the pie without having to either own up or put in.
Margaret Carlson on Olberman. "Sarah is a Star in her own Orbit" Hah!
@JWW: Soundsl ike you got some more cough syrup.
BTW- that is a quote of her speaking. That is why I know she is clueless.
I keep visiting hoping to see some filth, like upskirt shots of Palin, and am constantly disappointed.
Mr. Cole, please proceed with Teh Filth.
Seriously, someone needs to pick her off from a plane and cut off her front leg. I will gladly put up the five hundred dollar bounty to be rid of this menace to cognizant thought.
I do thank you for your words. You convey a lost message in this blog.
They haven’t the will to see or the will to fight for anything other than their own needs here. They are bottom feeders even if their income does not represent them as such.
John will only convey that which keeps his readers sated. He like his insider or so called insider connections feed on the response of ill informed fools. They haven’t the ability to research or seek any reason. They just move up to the feeder in pecking order.
JWW. What do the spiders look like? If they have wings you should worry. Those are the worst kind.
Top 5 Worst Sounds, According to Krista:
5) Cutting through corrugated cardboard with a dull knife
4) The sound of someone’s teeth scraping against their fork when they eat.
3) Someone taking a good 10 seconds to hork up a huge pile of snot.
2) Cats in heat
1) Sarah Palin talking.
Hey, the humor talent in the trolls is improving!
Listening to her speak makes me feel like I need a pick-axe enema.
I don’t want her to go away, not with her prompting reactions like yours. I want her supporters to stay in love with everything Sarah, while everyone with a functioning brain runs away in horror at the thought of that empty shell known as Palin as our President.
I want people to get so sick of her that if her supporters prevail and she runs in 2012 (or afterward), that she is buried in a landslide of voters saying NO FUCKING WAY.
Keep it up Sarah! You go girl!!
Because she is the gift that keeps on giving. Every time she opens her mouth, comedy gold tumbles forth and people tune in to rubberneck the trainwreck.
South of I-10
Mr. South of I-10 informed me a few minutes ago that Dennis Miller was on something stating that women didn’t like Palin because a) women are catty bitches and or b) because she is clearly knocking it out more than we are. I have no idea what he was watching, but can’t I just not like her cause she’s an idiot? If not, I’ll go with catty bitch.
It’s only been a week and a slow news week at that. Sarah’s star will fade and the nation will go back to obsessing about Britney or the next hot chick on American Idol or some other celebutard. In the meantime, it’s quaintly amusing to hear the woman spout nonsense. She’s the Professor Irwin Corey of politics.
@South of I-10: That makes me want to weep for the sheer memory of what Dennis Miller used to be.
Actually, it makes me want to yak.
Horrifying. Sickening. (Can’t think of another melodramatic word that evokes nauseating despair.)
He went back to the Senate and did what his constituents elected him to do, which is why he just won another term with no serious competition (from either the zombie remnants of the Masshole Republican Party or the all-taxation-is-theft numbnutz who ran against him in the primary). Much as he deserves to be rewarded with a post in the Obama administration, I’m kinda dreading the idea of losing both him and Ted Kennedy at this point of the oncoming depression recession…
I have a question, has there ever been a case where a sitting governor (of any state) appointed themselves to fill a US Senate vacancy?
Though it may end up being an academic point if Stevens looses anyway.
I hate her for the fungibles quote. Not because of the babbling, but because she tosses out "fungible," indicates with the molecule tagging bit that she sort of knows what that means, and in the next breath–probably the same breath–talks about satisfying our domestic demand for oil and letting the world hang. What do you think fungible means in terms of whether international demand affects domestic prices, you moron??!!
While not quite willing to go Andrew Sullivan on her (if the kid is Bristol’s I don’t actually care or think it affects her ability to govern), the press should get sufficiently upset about this loon that no future pres or veep nominee is permitted to not do press conferences and real interviews with follow-up questions. The follow-ups kill her–I could sound mildly knowledgeable about football if no one followed up my "I think Tom Brady really needs to be considered on these fourth down situations" with a demand to know what the hell I was talking about.
The model should be the old McCain who took all questions, even on Iseman, asked if there were more questions, and wore every reporter out. (Goes for President Obama as well.)
From what I understand, she can’t appoint herself but she can resign and let her lieutenant take over, having agreed in advance that they would then appoint her as Senator.
If that were to happen, I would hope the new governor would stiff her and appoint one of their own cronies to the spot..lol! It would serve her right.
It looks like the issue may be moot because the Democrat has taken the lead and Stevens is losing (by 3 votes) at this point, and absentee ballots from heavily Democratic are still left to be counted.
Please let it be so!
That actually raises a fascinating question, just who is her Lieutenant Governor, and what does he/she think about all of this?
goes to look it up
Anyone know anything about this guy other than the wiki blurb?
The best thing that may ever happen to MA is to lose both of them. Ted has far out lived his family legacy and Kerry has never been good for anything he has ever touched, except maybe your ass. He is a traitor to the nation and should have been treated as such.
To all others,
My spiders don’t have wings, they fly the American flag in their yard but couldn’t tell you what the flag stands for.
My troll humor, I have humor and a vast reserve of it. I don’t however find your asses funny. I find you wanting, wanting something you are not willing to work for. Yes, you will work for money but nothing other.
Break out the popcorn, this is going to get good. I almost kinda feel bad for what is going to happen to JWW.
Anne Elk (Miss)
The worst sounds ever? Not according to Camille Paglia in today’s Salon on the topic of Sarah Palin:
Wasn’t it enough to let New Orleans drown? How much abuse is jazz supposed to take?
What the hell is with this JWW idiot? At least noiq was amusing at times, this guy is just a babbling, blithering dunce. Though the half formed thoughts are an indicator as to why this person is a Palin fan.
Well, when they speak up, let us know.
Oh, and he’s over here gals.
>>The best thing that may ever happen to MA is to lose both of them. Ted has far out lived his family legacy and Kerry has never been good for anything he has ever touched, except maybe your ass. He is a traitor to the nation and should have been treated as such.
Good start, but the Kerry bit is way to obvious. Please try again.
Bob Dole showed up on Letterman’s program not long after the ’96 election. He was self-deprecating, intelligent, drolly funny. I think everyone watching thought, "Where was this guy hiding during the campaign?
And we love to watch trainwrecks, don’t we?
What else do we love to watch? Pretty ladies!
She’s the perfect combo: a Pretty Lady Trainwreck!
In the email group of many years, 2 men have used the catty and jealous adjectives on us (females) no matter how hard we try to describe what we think of Sarah Palin. We figure they are victims of the Rich Lowry Syndrome.
It’s really difficult to hear her talk and it’s even worse to read her responses to interviewer’s questions. Before she even studies geography, she should invest in a good dictionary and thesaurus.
I have no clue whether she invited the media or they asked her for the interviews. Whatever it was – enough!
I am surprised no one has focused on what Michael Barone said in a speech lately. It was quite stupid to put it mildly.
@Clio: In short? He’s a loon. I think he got nutso enough that at one point John Cole banned him for a while. JWW likes Palin because compared to him, she’s knowlegable and articulate.
That almost sounds kinda deep.
@Anne Elk (Miss):
More and more Paglia reminds me of her idol, Madonna: fresh and provocative two decades ago, but now an old, self-referential wench who keeps flogging her one trick sex schtick in order to stay relevant, without realizing that the rest of us have moved on.
Shorter JWW: I is teh funniest! Really, take my word for it. Every time I look in a mirror, I darn near kill myself laughing.
He has taken on the BJ propaganda machine as his duty to his country, but he constantly backfires like an old Model T. He has the reading comprehension of a hamster and a brain that can match wits with any poodle out there. Some of his interpretations of John’s posts are a riot to read. Words are a puzzle to him, and he is proud that he can finally put the 12 jumbo piece kids version together.
He hasn’t figured out that we are not laughing at his lame attempts to be a troll. We are laughing at him.
I don’t understand the sexual fantasies some have about Gov Palin…have you seen what having 5 kids does to a woman’s body? On the other hand, that’s why it’s called fantasy…if her sex-talk is anything like her public chatter, only a guy like Todd would put up with it. On a personal level, it would make me sleep in the guest room.
Hahaha, thanks for the scoop on JWW guys. Christ, what a wanker. His posts are so unbelievably pathetic that I would almost feel sorry for him and his stegasaurus sized brain if I didn’t know that he and his ilk were responsible for the Bush disaster and for foisting Palin on us all.
And another quick JWW observation: it is clear that this douche thinks that he has an intellectual vocabulary and way with words from his (for lack of a better term) "writing style". Reading his posts are like watching a short, fat kid with bad acne ask out the prom queen thinking that he actually has a shot. Also.
I actually turned on Nancy Grace to get away from her (SP). God help me.
Just get the gun and blow your brains out. It’s over and you lost. ;)
Nancy disGrace sux ass. She is CNN’s version of Jerry Rivers, with a drawl.
Comrade Desert Hussein Rat
Damn, that’s harsh. When crazy Nancy Grace is more enjoyable than Sarah Palin, I suggest that’s a clear signal to turn off the television and go read.
I think the saying you’re looking for is, "How can we miss you if you won’t go away?"
The media has too much time on its hands and nobody will sit still for in depth analysis. Obama just insists on not doing anything interesting in a news byte sort of way and you’ve got Hockeymom available. If people get up in front of America and put on a not-so-hot performance at what they claim to be doing, people get a lot of fun watching them get taken down a notch or several. If it’s your person saying what you wanted to hear, it’s fun watching it get stuck in the other guy’s eyes. It’s just fun all around, c’mon, you’re having fun kicking her and JWW is having fun poking you. And it’s all about as meaningful as just having fun ever is.
Considering that John McCain ran over the Primary field all this 2008 noise about 2012 is ridiculous. These people are the losers to a loser or part of being a loser one week out from the verdict.
Palin doesn’t get to appoint anyone to the Senate; Alaska law requires a special election. They changed the law after the last governor, Frank Murkowski, appointed his daughter to replace him in the Senate.
As for the light gov, Sean Parnell, he ran against Don Young (AK-at large) in the primary and lost, despite having Palin’s endorsement and Young being under indictment.
Alaska politics aren’t for the timid.
Speaking of annoying sounds and Nancy Grace, clearly none of you have ever heard raccoons mating.
I spent the last few days trying to remember who Dole’s VP candidate in ’96 was and came up blank. I finally had to look it up just to know it was Kemp.
With Begich now leading, is that the sound of God slamming a door shut? Not even a little teeny crack she can prematurely plow through…but a door slammed and locked?
Oh Sarah. How can we miss you if you won’t go the fuck away?
Ohgod. One night when I was nine years old, this low unnatural wailing noise woke me and kept me awake an entire evening. It was coming down the hallway of my house, it was dark, no nightlights, it sounded like the wailing of a damned soul risen from hell… I was petrified, couldn’t get out of bed, didn’t want to investigate, but it wouldn’t stop, I couldn’t sleep, that noise has haunted me for years… even after my mom told me the next morning, "Paul, that was a couple of feral cats doing the nasty on the front porch. Let it go."
Screech owl calls will make the hair on the back of your neck stand up.
I actually hate the sound of Hillary Clinton’s voice more than I hate Palin’s. But Palin is overall tougher to take because the combination of the voice and what it says put her over the top.
Apparently the Republican govs are a little weary of Palin, too.
Comrade Tax Analyst
Corrected version: "My spiders don’t have wings, my ants don’t wear shoes, my toads don’t have choades, and my chihuahua eats my Cheetos. And, oh yeah, my donkey and I are both asses, but mine is the one with the flag-pole in it."