In another thread, someone noticed this poorly thought out hyperlink:
Someone gussy this up and send it to Fail Blog.
Also, I am really enjoying season 1 of Heroes- although I still can not figure out what super power I would want. I am sort of a clumsy oaf, so the regeneration that Clair has would be nice, but there is something appealing about being invisible and not having to deal with people. I am afraid of heights, so flying is out of the question. Painting the future sounds cool, too, since I have always wanted to be able to draw well.
I think regeneration would be the best fit for me.
*** Update ***
We will file this post under humor fail.
*** Update ***
Why don’t they just go back in time and strangle Silar in the crib?
I hate to spoil the fun, but that link is about the best practice for the blind that there is. Many blind folk use screen readers. A text link that the reader can pronounce to them, saying explicitly where to go for relevant instructions? About as good as it’s gonna get.
Unfortunately, it falls apart by the end of the first season. the second season is nigh unwatchable…
I take it that you’re chuckling at the "special instructions for the blind"?
If so, the standard accessibility solution for that is a screen reader, for which that’s actually the suggested design, because the reader will get there. It’s certainly clumsy, but it’s better than not being able to use the interface at all.
(Ob. hist: that’s what the alt-text on image maps was originally designed to support, too.)
They have programs that read HTML out loud, doncha know. Adobe Acrobat Professional even has a built-in PDF reader.
The link’s for JAWS, right?
I think a clumsy oaf who has the ability to mock himself and call himself out in a very public forum would be a good super hero fit for you.
Yes, in the linked page, JAWS is specifically mentioned.
And my Mac apparently has a mode (that I accidentally discovered when using the wrong 4-finger shortcut in Photoshop) which will read aloud nearly anything on the screen.
For a moment, I thought Stephen Hawking was in da’ house, which would have been pretty fucking cool.
Speshiel Instrucshun fur doez woo dunt reeed goood
About Sylar and time travel: I think the best answer we’ve got is "reluctance to cause temporal paradox." The "Why not go back in time and keep Bad Thing X from happening?" question and the amount of grief it caused the writers kind of explains some events from the last two episodes that aired (season 3, episodes 12 and 13)…
Yea John I have to say, didn’t anyone warn you that Heroes will let you down? I haven’t seen a single episode, and was all set to watch Season 1, but I figure if I’m setting myself up to be burned, why do that to myself?
Wasn’t my vote for Obama enough?
Haha, I keed, I keed.
I suppose strangling Sylar would make the most sense. Like Gollum, though, he has his purpose. Further, there would be no conflict if you take away the villain.
The Grand Panjandrum
Heroes second season was a let down. Season Three so far is so-so. Brian Fuller, one of the original writers, left to create his own show Pushing Daisies which is quite entertaining and worth a peek.
Wouldn’t being able to fly cause you to lose your fear of heights?
@John S.: Yah. It’s most easily accessed (by the sighted) by going to system preferences…universal access. That also allows you to enable things like the visual bell and the like.
If you’re going to start trying to unravel the logic of the show, you should probably stop watching sooner rather than later.
Could you explain exactly what hyperlink is poorly thought out? Sorry if I don’t get the joke.
If you are talking about the instructions for blind people, it would be helpful for us to know what exactly is wrong with it. As someone with a sight impaired family member, I appreciate the effort that federal bureaucracies take to make their sites accessible.
The instructions themselves are mostly self-evident, but nothing unusual if you have ever read the federally required statements about how long it will take you to fill out a certain form.
@Michael G: If you’re going to start trying to unravel the logic of the show, you should probably stop watching sooner rather than later.
Yup. Keep your brain engaged for politics, shut it off for entertainment, that’s how I like it.
Remember all the pissing and moaning and bleating and kvetching and garmentrending about how wooden and unrealistic Indiana Jones 4 was? If you reacted like that to it, Heroes probably isn’t your show either.
Brick Oven Bill
I work with local governments from time to time, who I’d say are more responsive than the feds due to their proximity to the voters. But they’re still pretty bad. Everyone should get a chance to try to explain something complex to a public works director.
“Special Instructions for Users Who Are Blind”
Just wait until the federal government tries its hand at heart surgery. Olive oil, red wine, fish.
I’m currently working on making a scientific excel table friendly for posting for the visually disabled.
I guess it would strike someone funny that they put in a link for the visually disabled, but putting out content for the blind is no joke. It’s currently making my life hell.
I draw the line though at trying to make a science-based criteria make sense for the cognitively disabled. I care, but I can’t spin straw into gold.
Oh well, you did make a funny with the humor fail though.
Duke of Earl
Real invisibility would be a royal PITA to have.
What would be much better is a psychic ability to just make people not notice you, Niven used this idea in "A Gift From Earth"
The best superpower to have? Probably something like kissing the Blarney Stone.
I wonder if Obama has ever been to Ireland?
He’s coming back for "Episode" 4. Not sure if this will save the show, which (in my opinion) went completely over the ledge with "Episode" 3 (I hate how they’re naming half-seasons "episodes").
I enjoyed Heroes for about 8-12 episodes, I don’t think it even maintained my interest through the end of season 1. I tuned in for a few minutes of season 2 and just couldn’t begin to care…
And come on, isn’t having a crazy violent 2nd personality the best?? Waking up with your problems solved would be awesome! Except for the whole disposing-of-the-bodies issue. That’d suck.
I’m afraid of heights too, which is why I would WANT to be able to fly. If I can fly, there’s no reason to be afraid of heights, is there?
The show violates basic laws of physics and common sense regularly. But that actually is okay, since it’s fiction.
The problem is that as Season 3 went along it was violating its own previously established rules and raising questions (at least in my mind) with respect to continuity. And that really is its weakness right now.
Now, Lost, on the other hand, that’s a show I am eagerly anticipating.
My new sports hero.
Sounds like a great kid…
The closest I’ve ever come to watching Heroes is when they shot an episode on location a couple of blocks North of where I live.
Phoenician in a time of Romans
Also, I am really enjoying season 1 of Heroes- although I still can not figure out what super power I would want.
Money. Most versatile super power there is.
Or any actual super power that gets you money – precognition springs to mind.
Yepper. As part of my job, I am responsible to ensure that all of our online courses and other content is 508 compliant.
While I admit the graphic made me chuckle too, it’s actually very thoughtful for the SSA to do this.
Blind Web surfers, for the most part, use a piece of software called JAWS from Freedom Scientific. In general (once they get used to the software), they can use the Web as well as any of you.
When I test online courses at work for accessibility, I use a keyboard. That’s it. No mouse, no monitor. Just my keyboard and JAWS.
That the Social Security Administration put this link there, which the blind person can “see” as well as any of us, is to their credit! :-)
When I was writing my old blog, gayorbit.net, it was about the time I was learning JAWS. I would say that Gay Orbit was probably the only completely accessible blog on the intertubes!
May I ask why? Where I work, and I believe this is generally accepted princple, if YOU build it, YOU make it accessible. If you didn’t build it, you don’t need to.
What I mean by that is – if I am programming a course to be delivered to blind students, I need to add the programming to make it accessible if the software I am developing in doesn’t do it automatically. I program in Flash Actionscript. While Flash is pretty darned accessible, there are things I need to do to make it work right.
On the other hand, Microsoft products are supposed to be completely accessible, and blind JAWS users should be able to navigate around Excel easily. For you to be trying to make it accessible is like me handholding someone at work who doesn’t know how to use MS Word. Blind users should know how to navigate around it. If they don’t, it’s not your problem. It’s theirs for not learning how to navigate Excel using JAWS.
If it is NOT accessible, you should be dealing with MS, and not killing yourself trying to do it yourself. You should find help at their accessibility Web site. Like Adobe, I think Microsoft is pretty serious about accessibility. That stupid new menu system in Office 2007 was partially designed that way to make it more accessible.
kommrade reproductive vigor
File under Snark Fail.
I see from the banner on the left that PJTV is giving Joe the non-licensed plumber another 15 minutes…
Screen readers have been around for at least 17 years. In fact, the founders of MoveOn.org ran one of the companies that first did that.
So please, please, leave the cheap Blind Jokes to SNL.
The joke was directed at the SSA, not blind people, so lighten up.
@Michael D.: Actually, Excel is not, in principle, inaccessible. Like any system, though, it’s painfully easy to build an inaccessible system with Excel: include graphs as a part of the interface, name the tabs badly, fail to label the columns, etc.
Having chosen this year to start investing in the stock market, I’d welcome precognition for sure.
But it would be hard to beat telekinesis, at the strength level that Sylar demonstrates.
Flying would undoubtedly be the most fun though, and a serious babe magnet.
As for Sylar, strangling him ahead of time might have doomed them all to a life of aimlessness. So obviously they’ve come out ahead in the end.
How the hell are you people coding line spaces between paragraphs here? I’m struggling miserably and only getting inconsistent results.
L. Ron Obama
Definitely don’t watch the Heroes episode where one of the heroes experiences a "power failure" mid-flight, then…
Ah, I see about the paragraphs now. It’s the preview that was confusing me with the inconsistency, not the posted results.
Having King Midas’s abilities would be a neat super power, except with the ability to turn it off so you could eat and fuck and stuff.
What’s the going rate for a solid gold super villain these days?
Making webpages accessible for the handicapped, which includes blind persons, is a requirement for government websites.
The term is ‘508 compliant’, and if your website isn’t, you can’t run it with a .gov or .mil extension.
** Update: Comment Fail. ***
We used a prioritization ranking with a ton of qualitative information in it, so ended up with something like 34 columns. According to the accessibility documents I was given, they suggest keeping the tables on a single page and being careful with the column headings because the reader programs can have problems with them. They say that if you cannot limit the size of the table, then put less important information in the right hand columns.
I dunno, I work at the state. I suppose their suggestions could be really old. I broke the table into three pieces, each with their own link so that they can be accessed separately. One is a monitoring history table, another is a numbers only table (pounds of use, etc.), and the last is the information re the independent chemical like where it is applied, what types of crops, etc. It has actually been a good exercise in information blocking, but initially we had color coded a lot of information. That worked ok for us, but it wasn’t going to fly when posted for public review.
But thanks for the information–that helps put things in perspective!
Not to pile on John any more, given all the good comments above and his subsequent enlightenment, but jokes in this vein about seemingly absurd accessibility requirements (which are only absurd if you don’t know very much about the context) seem to be a staple of "observational" humor and opinion commentary.
I seem to recall there was some kind of kerfuffle a few years ago when Paul Harvey (or somebody very like him–I forget) complained that political correctness gone mad had forced somebody to put wheelchair cuts on a curb at a skating rink. Now, you can probably come up with about a dozen reasons why somebody might want curb cuts at a skating rink if you think about it for ten minutes, but for the complainer the absurdity was evidently obvious.
One that made the blog rounds a while back was the question of why drive-through ATMs sometimes have Braille instructions. Political correctness gone mad! Because nobody but the driver of the vehicle will ever use a drive-through ATM, or find themselves in the vicinity of one.
Heroes characters’ mean IQ vs episode number:
| *** *****
(For season 1, which is the only one I bothered with.)
Gahh, that didn’t work out at all! Sorry. Anyway… a steep drop in the last couple of episodes.