Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

This really is a full service blog.

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

Presidents are not kings, and Plaintiff is not President.

Everybody saw this coming.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

Consistently wrong since 2002

Being the leader of the world means to be the leader of peace.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

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74Comments

  4. 4.

    Comrade Darkness

    That’s a very cute cat. I’m a sucker for golden eyes on a cat. On my fat cat, they almost balance out her perpetual begrudging attitude.

  5. 5.

    jake 4 that 1

    I love brick-nosed cats. Based on the size of its eyes and ears I’m going to guess his house is at the center of a two mile DRZ.* However, I refuse to believe the puppies are cuter in person. That much cute would tear a hole in the universe and leave us knee deep in unicorns, rainbows and swirly twirly gumdrops.

    *Dead Rodent Zone.

  6. 6.

    Trollhattan

    All that fuzzy cuteness, and yet those are your new puppy overlords. I’ve been around enough JRTs to know they’ll be running things for, oh, the next fifteen years.

    Still, awwwwwwww.

  8. 8.

    The Moar You Know

    @A Different Matt: A long time ago, I dumped an otherwise lovely and intelligent young lady, who I had been dating for several months, for the inexcusable and heinous act of telling me to my face that my cat was ugly.

    She was devastated, but there are certain things in life that you can’t say to other people. You can’t tell ’em their kids are stupid and you can’t tell them their pets are ugly. Especially when they aren’t. Reaction is likely to be swift and shockingly extreme. I guess she hadn’t learned that yet. She knows it now!

    Anyhow, that cat is not ugly, and fuck you in the ass with a chainsaw. Sideways. Covered in hot sauce.

    What the fuck happened to the buttons?

  9. 9.

    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse

    I love the way the marking on the kitteh’s nose looks like a double-exposure. Another vote for "Cute? Hell yes!".

    I’m shielding my eyes from the brain-searing cuteness that is the puppehs. I don’t need one. I don’t need one. I don’t need one …

  12. 12.

    Comrade Stuck

    Maybe I will have something to say later on, but for now, this is it.

    What really can be said? The countries and world economies are circling the drain. Our new strategy for success in Afghanistan involves handing out Viagra to old but Horny Warlords, and then giving them more guns. And Malkin is possessed with a raging case of BDS. Then there’s Pakistan sending troops to the Indian border. And that’s the good news.

    The bad news is Rick Warren flapping his yap at Obama’s inauguration. Go figure.

  14. 14.

    Libby Spencer

    Welcome home John. I vote cute on the cat in the wrapping paper and too cute to be legal on the puppies.

    Meanwhile, is Tunch okay? It doesn’t seem right somehow to not hear about some mischievious misdeed while you so shamelessly left him alone on Christmas.

  15. 15.

    Rob

    I lost custody of my dog in an ugly divorce. It hurts sometimes to see sweethearts like yours. But it doesn’t hurt enough to get another one. My life is too busy for a dog now. Keep posting pics, luuuuv ’em.

  16. 16.

    Crusty Dem

    Are you sure it’s not A Different Matt’s cat? I don’t see how anyone could think that was an ugly cat, and I have owned a pair of ugly cats (unlike moar, I don’t care what anyone else thinks about my cats or kids).

  17. 17.

    Brian J

    Can a pet really be ugly? That cat doesn’t look ugly to me.

    There are some pets that aren’t like the shining, WASPy like yellow labs but that are no doubt cute in their own way. My dog, a black Cocker Spaniel, kind of looked like Rick James when we first got her. (It was the Super Freak-style hair on her head, in case you were wondering.) She still looks a little strange right before we get her groomed, but she’s still cute.

  18. 18.

    robertdsc

    That much cute would tear a hole in the universe and leave us knee deep in unicorns, rainbows and swirly twirly gumdrops.

    January 20th, 2009 will be the day that happens.

  19. 19.

    Evolved Deep Southerner

    I own a celebrity look-alike beagle. She looks for all the world like Loretta Lynn in the face.

  21. 21.

    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse

    Dear God, that poor rat has a scrotum growing out of its face.

  22. 22.

    Chuck Butcher

    Pets are a lot like this in that beauty or cuteness is in the eye of the beholder. No it isn’t a pet but it certainly is an exemplar of the concept and it is neutral in emotional content.

  27. 27.

    p.a.

    Off topic: you know they’ve got nuttin’ when- at yesterday’s XMas festivities my homophobe wingnut relatives (redundancy alert!) began their defense of W with how much he’s done fighting AIDS in Africa. They couldn’t even summon up a "He’s kept us safe" even while we were all still sober. I highly recommend home made wine. It probably won’t be subtle with multiple layers of flavor, but the lack of nitrates/nitrites make all the difference the next day. And it’s fun to turn the grinding and pressing processes into social gatherings. Just make clear to newbies that they will be expected to pitch in, and that they should wear clothes they wouldn’t mind seeing used on a scarecrow.

  29. 29.

    JimPortlandOR

    Sieg Miaow

    Since I’m not a catfan, my impartial judgement is that cat is fugly.

    But all dogs are cute, some more than others. Unconditional luv, not that selective ‘when i feel like it" stuff that the pooties bring to the relationship.

  32. 32.

    Betsy

    Thanks to everyone defending my kitty’s honor/cuteness! I believe she’s adorable and I love her to pieces. I don’t much care if other people don’t feel that way, but it seems weird to go out of your way enough to be hurtful to someone you don’t know that you comment on a blog.
    And yes, those puppies are teh cute.

  34. 34.

    Betsy

    p.s. she might look less freaky if I knew how to take away the effect of the camera flash that made her pupils look green. :)

  35. 35.

    South of I-10

    @Comrade Jake: I can’t believe you made me waste precious moments of my life reading that. Whn did eating dinner together and working hard become the sole property of the wingnut faction? OMG, we eat dinner together and work hard, but for some reason, still voted for Obama. What do they think 50% of the population are unemployed slackers?

  39. 39.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    @Comrade Jake: The only thing funnier than a sad little wanker reciting talking points that went stale in November is this:

    Story Highlights
    Ruben Navarrette: Sarah Palin rose from small-town life to big-time politics
    She’s been accused by Democrats of polarizing the campaign, Navarrette says
    He says she was unfairly targeted by liberals prejudiced against small towns
    Navarrette: We can expect to hear from Palin again, maybe in four years

    For those CNN readers who want their regurgitated b.s. in a hurry. (Yes I know it’s standard, but still…)

  40. 40.

    South of I-10

    @Studly Pantload: I know. I don’t know why I waste time with rhetorical questions. I just try to understand when I need to realize I never will. By the way, your screen name cracks me up.

  42. 42.

    garyb50

    Yeah, well, fuck you J. Cole. Months ago I sent you a pic of the best dog in the universe and you chose not to put her up.

    JSP’s can go to hell as far as I’m concerned. My BEST friend has one & she has destroyed his life.

    Other than that this is the 1st blog I check every day.

  45. 45.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    Speaking of Kittehs exciting news on the orange devil cat front. Firstly, he decided (as only cats can decide) that his long solitary confinement under the bed was over and quite unexpectedly he ventured out from under the bed for a scritch, not from me but from DH. I let them be, until he decided that it was time for me to scritch him. Secondly, and this is the most exciting part, once he came out from under the bed I got to get a really good look at him and yes Virginia there is an Arnimade, the displacement of his hip is clear and it is my boy all growed up. I shed a few tears when I realized. My boy came home.

  47. 47.

    Zuzu's Petals

    Sheesh, remind me never to post a pic of my grandbaby.

    (Of course there is 100% agreement from all who have seen her that she is the cutest thing ever. )

  48. 48.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    @Laura W:

    Still a bit weepy, can’t quite fathom how the universe and all its workings would have me read the newspaper on the precise day that the ad ran to tell me he had been found, a full three months after he had gone missing, a good ten miles from our home, the facts are so improbable, I rarely read the newspaper, only when I go out to lunch (mostly eat lunch at my desk), it is rare that someone would find a strange cat and take the time to put an ad in the newspaper, when you put those two things together it is lottery winning odds to be honest. Arnamade still hates me (somewhat) but at least he is home. Now if we can just get over the shitting in the slippers thing…

  49. 49.

    South of I-10

    @litlbritdifrnt: That is an amazing story. So glad it really is your cat. Poor baby is probably just so off kilter he doesn’t know what to do.

  50. 50.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    @South of I-10:

    Yeah, he is and it really doesn’t help the fact that he hated me to begin with, seeing as he saw me as the evil human who took him to the vets to get his tail amputated and a plate put in his hip. I could never quite convince him that I was doing it for his own good, that being walking around on a broken hip was really not good for him. He really had a problem with having his butt shaved for the procedure, I think it was a dignity thing, and he hated me for it. I am hoping that he has now forgiven me.

  51. 51.

    Carrie

    @Betsy:

    I think the kitteh is lovely.
    And fuck those who have nothing better to do than say horrible shit about other peoples babies.
    What was that i read recently? ass fucking with a chainsaw sideways with hot sauce?
    yeah, applies perfectly.

  52. 52.

    Comrade Stuck

    @Carrie:

    And fuck those who have nothing better to do than say horrible shit about other peoples babies.

    I just want to say for the record, that that cat is the most beuTifical critter this side of the Pecos, or the other for that matter. Please don’t hit me :+_

  53. 53.

    South of I-10

    @Litlebritdifrnt: That is hard. You know that you have done the best you can do, he will figure it out.

    On a completely different note, is anyone else watching the 80’s movies weekend on Encore? Weird Science is on right now, it is cracking me up. Sixteen Candles just ended.

  55. 55.

    Cassidy the Racist White Man

    There is no shame in having an ugly, dumb, etc. pet. My Hemi (labmeraner) is the full sized epitome of Odie, but I love him anyways.

  58. 58.

    Betsy

    @jake 4 that 1:
    Yeah, she is one of the most alert and inquisitive cats I’ve known, and she is a vicious huntress of shoelaces and balled-up paper. I assume that would apply to rodents, but I don’t think she’s had the opportunity to test that, thankfully.

  60. 60.

    Brick Oven Bill

    South of I-10 and Studly Pantload;

    Ah,hem. Here are the employment numbers:

    Employed: 144,285,000
    ‘Unemployed’: 10,331,000
    ‘Not in Work Force’: 80,212,000

    What I don’t know is how the balance of Americans are classified. There are reportedly 304 million of us, so who are the other 70 million? Some are kids, I guess. The percentage of Americans that are officially employed seems to be 47%. But the government would probably count a man with two jobs are two job-people, so the percentage is probably lower.

    Personally, I think the country would be better off with a ‘one-job, one-vote’ system. This would encourage protectionist trade policies, which would benefit America. America is the world’s largest importer, and is energy independent.

  61. 61.

    Janet Strange

    @Brick Oven Bill: According the the 2000 Census (pdf), I get about 80 million under 19 when I add up the various ages, so yeah, "some" are kids. Population is higher now, and a lot of those in the 15-19 bracket are working – or looking for work – so accounting for children would pretty much cover your mysterious 70 million.
    "Not in workforce" includes retired people, so I guess you call folks who work at a paid job for 40 or 50 years and then retire, "slackers" and you would also include parents who are not working for pay because they are full-time at home with their kids. Or full-time caregivers for elderly parents or others. But having done the full-time mom thing for a while I found it much more work than any paid job I’ve had – but you can call these folks slackers if you want to. I sure wouldn’t.

  63. 63.

    Brick Oven Bill

    Janet;

    There are only 13 million manufacturing jobs in America and this number is shrinking. Meaning people who make things that can be moved are outvoted 23:1 by consumers of these products, who like cheap stuff made by people willing to work for $3/day.

    But manufacturing is what creates the wealth foundation upon which our booming health care, education, and government sectors continue to grow (cough). This is a potentially fatal flaw in our system, which the business jet guys are all too willing to use to increase their personal rates of return.

    This is why I support tariffs and performance criteria for prospective immigrants. America needs immigrants who will create new jobs, not ones to grow the labor pool for existing jobs. Personally, I was working at 15, so my compassion for ‘youth’ who can drive and choose not to flip burgers or pick up a shovel is limited.

  65. 65.

    Brick Oven Bill

    Demimondian;

    Thank you for that clarification on the jobs calculus. The bond between women and their children is refreshing because of its basis in nature and truth. It is sad to watch a woman toil her days away at multiple jobs to provide for the children she loves so much, when the natural state is for her to be home with the kids. I have witnessed this. Perhaps we can agree to advocate for a defense of the institution of traditional marriage.

    People insinuate that my brick oven is for cremation. This is false. My oven is for pizza (fire), breads (embers), and roasts (overnight). I designed and built it myself. It is a great and recommended $500 project, especially during power outages.

    Back on topic, I wish I had a dog. Long story.

  66. 66.

    Zuzu's Petals

    @Brick Oven Bill:

    It is sad to watch a woman toil her days away at multiple jobs to provide for the children she loves so much, when the natural state is for her to be home with the kids. I have witnessed this. Perhaps we can agree to advocate for a defense of the institution of traditional marriage.

    Yes, because it’s NOT sad to watch a man toil his days away at multiple jobs to provide for the children he loves so much. Asshole.

    And the "natural state" is for the entire family, including kids, to be laboring to feed itself. Asshole.

    And to assume a connection between the need to work more than one job in this economy and "traditional" marriage – and that "defending" that nonexistent fantasy somehow changes that economic equation – makes you even more of an asshole.

  67. 67.

    Studly Pantload

    @Brick Oven Bill #60:

    BOBill, this would be the altitude of the point…
    .
    .
    .
    .
    And this would be your head, far below said altitude.

    What SO1-10 was asking was, did the wingynutty faction think that 50%(-ish) of the country, i.e. the libruls, were all unemployed heathens that knew not of honest work or the communal experience of dining with one’s family?

    And I said yes, because I have know such a wingnut. It was a former co-worker who liked to print and post Internet "funnies" on a wall in the hallway. One day, she posted some li’l ditty about how originally there were men and women, and then liberals descended from women, but, lo, the liberals didn’t like work and anyone who wanted a productive employee would refuse to hire a liberal. Real ass-slapping funny stuff. But there, ya go; her type truly believed liberals are incapable of honest labor and familial fellowship (I guess they think we all eat alone from a rickety tin Sponge-Bob TV tray in front of Keith Olbermann). (And the funny thing about this gal was that, when it came to operating a computer — which was just, oh, 90% of our job — she made a bag of rocks look like a code monkey, and as a result her output was slower than molasses between Ann Coulter’s thighs.)

    So, yeah, uh, thanks for playing (I guess), and remember next time that context is yer friend.

  69. 69.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    It is sad to watch a woman toil her days away at multiple jobs to provide for the children she loves so much, when the natural state is for her to be home with the kids.

    And if she doesn’t have kids, she’s unnatural! Burn the witch!

    Where can I make a donation to get BOOB a bigger megaphone? "Protect Traditional Marriage to Keep Women in the Home," would do wonders for the equal marriage argument.

  70. 70.

    Atanarjuat

    You’d think that the peace of Christmas day and the overall holiday cheer would melt some cold and bitter hearts.

    And, judging from Zuzu’s Petals knee-jerk name-calling of Brick Oven Bill (who himself hadn’t called anyone any names or spread invective), you’d have to conclude, rather sadly, that some people flatly refuse to drop the hate and cling desperately to it. I feel very badly for you, ZP. I hope you can think twice before launching into another deplorable diatribe.

    By the way, you DO know that your alias comes from a movie where the message of hope and human solidarity overcomes despair and loathing, right?

    Just a reminder, and you’re quite welcome.

  72. 72.

    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse

    Jeeze, guys, if you’re going to derail, try harder.

    You see how I did that? My mind wandered from from cute kitteh in wrapping paper ==> dull trolls in baggies ==> the genius Roy Orbison in cling film ==> LINK. Now you try.

  73. 73.

    J.

    Where are their Steelers collars? And I think the brown and white one is committing a personal foul.

    And yes, nice kitty pic.

    Over here we’ve been celebrating Obamakkah — and the Giants clinching. And if the Jets manage to somehow pull off a playoff spot, the new year will be off to a good start.

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