It is now 2009, so time for a live action shot from Balloon Juice HQ:
Yep. Tunch is still undertall and grumpy.
2009 is looking a lot like 2008.
Happy New Year!
by John Cole| 67 Comments
This post is in: Cat Blogging, Site Maintenance, General Stupidity
Tlazolteotl
Tunch needs a New Year’s resolution to go on a diet! Honestly, he’s one of the fattest kitties I’ve ever seen. :-)
slag
Maybe if you went with a landscape shot, he’d look smaller.
DrDave
Did you know that obesity is the single most significant predisposing factor in feline diabetes? Think about how much fun it will be having to come home every 12 hours to give Tunch his insulin injection.
That kitty needs to rediscover his waistline.
And Happy New Year to you. Our eight year national nightmare is almost over. (Or as one of the guys at the party I just left said, "Bush: Forgotten but not yet gone…)
Josh Hueco
SciFi Channel is running a marathon of Twilight Zone episodes right now as we speak. Rod Serling FTW!
robertdsc
Tunch: "All yall can kiss my big white ass!"
Beej
I know you love this cat, John. So please, please, put him on a veterinarian-approved diet. Someone’s going to mistake him for Moby Dick and throw a harpoon.
Carrie
Now THAT would make a great hat and mitts!
me want now!
Fulcanelli
Undertall?
Awwww… Leave the kitteh alone, he’s just ‘portly’ (although he could smother you in your sleep, Mr. Cole). My spayed 9 yr old female rottie mix has a similar, er, profile, but she’s a such a lovebug.
Sucks about the pizza, nothing pisses me off quicker than fucking up my food order…
Happy New Year to all.
I can’t be the only one who couldn’t wait for 2008 to end. Right?
ninerdave
I’ll be kind to Tunch, you know what I really love about him?
The brown on the sides of his ears and tail contrasted with the white body. Love it.
While Cole featured my cat as a kitten (Fu) she has gotten um…"fluffy". If I could find the USB cord for the camera I’d upload some current pictures. Those were four or so years ago.
Now, her white belly waddles when she runs. So as a cat owner I suppose I’m in no place to crack Tunch jokes.
Ninerdave PSA:
If you are looking for something to do to make the world better this year, volunteer at your local animal shelter…not the SPCA, they have tons of money and volunteers (although I wouldn’t dissuade you from that either), you will have a shelter in your neighborhood that has to take in all animals. The SPCA, can pick and choose which animals it takes. Local animal shelters can’t.
Local animal shelters are underfunded and understaffed. They really can use your time. There is nothing better than playing with an old dog (or cat) coming from god knows where, that just wants to play ball and be loved (well I suppose cats don’t wanna play ball, but I’m a dog volunteer). It’s done my heart good.
It’s amazing to see a dog go from hand shy to friendly, and even better to see them adopted out.
And for gods sake, if you aren’t planning on breeding and showing, get a shelter animal.
Alright I’m done….off to wintersgrasp.
TheHatOnMyCat
FrankLeeMyDear, my 23 lb tabby, sends New Years greetings to that cute little Tunch and all his friends everywhere.
In her own words, "Mew." This giant cat squeaks like a little mouse, I have never figured that out.
Brick Oven Bill
We live in a modest semi-rural area along a roadway that goes back to before the Revolution. The lots were parceled along the roadway after the Second World War. It is a comfortable place to live. I think living along a throughway beats living in a planned subdivision.
We are lucky to have an Italian restaurant just a few doors down. There are three generations of the same family that work there. Grandfather sits at the door, grandmother does the rounds, the middle generation is in the kitchen, and the granddaughter cleans up. It is a very pleasant place with maybe fifteen tables. We are friendly with the family and had our New Years’ Eve dinner there tonight.
They gave our eldest a free little pizza and only charged us half price for the family entrée. I don’t know what to think of this. They said it was a gift. Part of me is honored and the other part thinks I should wear cleaner clothes. In exchange for their gift, we invited them to our backyard when the weather warms up for a brick oven pizza evening .
This could be a rough year financially. But that might not be an entirely bad thing. Best of luck in 2009.
The Moar You Know
My big girl kitty says hi.
TheHatOnMyCat
Wow, fascinating, BrickMan. That was so stimulating! It’s material like that which keeps me coming back here every day.
Personally, I think living in a parted out Checker Automobile that is up on blocks is better than living in an appliance box behind the Circle K. But hey, that’s just me.
Brick Oven Bill
Spend a decade in residential construction, and you will then understand, my son.
TheHatOnMyCat
Teaser!
How much fun can one person have?
Comrade Kevin
I think Tunch is perfectly adorable. Where’s my cat, damnit?
Conservatively Liberal
Tunch is positively Rubenesque, aka "Gravitationally Challenged". ;) You should have named him Jabba the Cat. ;p
I tell my wife about your cat and the comments here all of the time. Tonight she referred to him as "Toonses" which made me laugh my ass off as I imagined Tunch driving a semi (to haul his ass around). Teh West Virginny Kitteh keeps on truckin’! His mudflaps would have stainless cutouts of his ass on them.
Happy New Year to my fellow asylum members at BJ and the rest of the intertoobs.
Josh Hueco
@Conservatively Liberal:
You too, CL. My gf and I were watching the national weather here in Texas and saw that a storm system is moving onto the Oregon coast. I tried explaining to her how there’s nothing like being on the Oregon or Washington coast when a strong storm blows in, how cool it is to bunker down and listen to the wind and rain whip your home and everything around it. You can imagine the disturbed look I got. :)
Limniade
I’ve got a kitty fat-ass as well: Casey, the 19-pound ball of fuzzy love. He also has an incredibly high voice. When he meows, he sounds like someone stepped on a squeak toy. (But not when you step on him.)
He’s on a diet, though it doesn’t seem to be taking, even though I know he’s getting the correct amount of food. But as everyone who has a fat cat knows, there’s just something great about having a fat cat. More to love.
robertdsc
In all seriousness, thanks for doing your thing, John. This place and its denizens is great.
Oh, and I won’t ask how much it cost you to bribe the NASA people to use the Hubble to take that shot of Tunch.
Comrade Kevin
It is now after midnight here, so, Happy New Year everyone.
ninerdave
@Brick Oven Bill:
Fixit.
Male cat
I’d hit that but then I’m a big cat kind of guy!
ninerdave
@Brick Oven Bill:
Oh, and you’re a straight up chode. You are seriously the biggest moron to ever grace this blog. Darrell could at least make a somewhat coherent argument. JWW and BIRDZILLA were entertaining as a sort of drunk abstract art. You, however are the biggest, racist, moronic, piece of shit, I’ve ever seen on this blog.
Fuck you.
Justin
Here’s Bergamot and Maggie wishing Tunch a Happy New Year.
Crap, no image embed. Here’s the imageshack link
ninerdave
@Justin:
LAWLZ…
Too awesome.
Wonk
Happy New Year to John and the rest of the Balloon Juicers. I mostly lurk over here, but you guys never fail to make me laugh on a daily basis. Mostly at work, which I try to suppress, which usually involves food and/or drink on my monitor, or farts.
And as someone who has had fat dogs at various times in my life, I will not comment on Tunch’s voluptuousness.
Nice kitty.
Brick Oven Bill
Good Christ. You try to tell a positive story about neighborhood families coming together, juxtaposing it against the backdrop of economic uncertainty, and people accuse you of sex acts.
Illegal Mexican laborers were making $5k/month cash in 2005. Buyers got in fist fights if they lost the lottery for an entitlement to buy a house that cost twice what it cost three years ago. That housing cycle was one wild ride. People are not very smart, except for you Dave. Best of luck in 2009 regardless. I recommend gardening.
Indylib
Happy New Year All!
Can’t wait for a new year of BJ snark and mocking of all things Rethuglican and hours of infighting about anything our soon to be Prez does.
May peace and prosperity be a larger part of our world this next year (yes, I know the prosperity part is probably a lost fucking cause this next year, but we can hope for more peace)!
Conservatively Liberal
@Josh Hueco:
Yeah we get some great storms here and another one is supposed to be tomorrow evening (later today). Winds are expected to gust to 50 so we can expect lots of trees down and maybe a mudslide if we are lucky! Lately the storms have been sweeping north of us though the last big freeze did dip down our way (good, kills the fruit flies).
My sisters hated storms and I have always loved watching them or even being out in them. The forces of nature are quite interesting to watch in action and here on the Oregon coast we get lots of nature…lol! You get pretty good at keeping a well stocked pantry, deep freeze, lots of flashlights, lanterns and keeping the generator tuned up.
Wouldn’t trade it for anything. :)
Rosali
I don’t care what anyone says, Tunch is beautiful.
DanJoaquinOz
John, if you bought Tunch a pair of wire-rimmed glasses he could do killer impressions of Karl Rove! Switch ’em for a pair of hornrims and – voila – Fred Kagan! It’s not just his portly build and multiple chins that makes his resemblance to morally bankrupt Republicans so striking. I mean, he seems like weirdly wonderful, self-possessed cat but he’s definitely got the whole simmering-smugly-with-evil-look totally nailed. Those Jabba the Repug, demon-spawn yellow eyes! And even in repose, those lethal claws are fully extended! He’s awesomely fierce!
While ‘evil incarnate’ isn’t a look I cherish in politicians and pundits, in a cat it’s somehow bizarrely charming.
ninerdave
@Brick Oven Bill:
No, get this straight, I’m not accusing you of sex acts. An orgasm is way too good for your ilk. I’m hoping your bigoted ass dies in a fire. Really. America and the world in general will be a better place when pieces of shit like you are gone. Thankfully, you’re a dying breed. My generation doesn’t peddle your idiotic racist, bigoted bullshit.
Chuck Butcher
wow John, that is one fluffy cat.
When Marlin (cat) got to be about 11yrs she got pretty …um… fluffy. Wife put her on a diet for about 6 weeks, by the end of which time I was threatening to use the Marlin she’s named for on Marlin for tripping over her every time I went throught the kitchen and the constant meowing. It’s not that she attacked you, but her solution to needs is to wind around your legs, rubbing and being pitiable. I began to just keep her food bowl full of dry cat food, oddly she hasn’t …um… fluffed out again.
Gus, on the other hand looks like a tank, and manages to keep a svelte physique. At 150 and 6yrs it’s a good thing he’s not a pig, he’s also not neutered.
Happy New Year to you and Tunch and all the BJers and may it be a better and more prosperous one. Mine was pretty quiet also, stayed home, ran Sirius blues on the TV.
Warren Terra
Umm, why are people being @ssh@ts towards B.O.B. for a perfectly innocuous story about a pleasant new year’s eve? From one other the later comments it looks like one of the aforementioned hind-tuques has a pre-existing grudge against B.O.B., and heck, maybe it was justified by B.O.B.’s behavior in some other thread. But unless you think that B.O.B. is somehow a galloping unsalvageable waste of pixels you really should attack him (cogently and reasonably) on those comments that merit it, not on this one.
Geez, go watch some more re-broadcast fireworks displays or something.
ninerdave
@Warren Terra:
Yes.
TenguPhule
More like skinniness challenged and in a happiness deficit.
D-Chance.
Did anyone watch this live last night?
The leap onto the Arc was amazing enough, but then he jumped back off… are you kidding me?
Karen
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a cat that "challenged" in the height department. We did have a male once that topped in at 25 lbs, but he was a physically big cat. He sat on your lap & you knew it. Maybe a strict diet of Royal Canin Weight Control? He’s a beautful cat, though.
I like that: Undertall. Maybe I’ll use that when my husband starts in on me.
kommrade reproductive vigor
My big fat but not that big fat cat wants to know if Tunch would like to go out and chase girls, squirrels and dogs.
Of course the sister of my bfbntbfc (15 lbs of hate in a 5 lb bag), would spend her time chasing them, but they both need the exercise.
John Cole
I honestly don’t remember how much he weighs, as we have not been to the vet for over six months.
Laura W
Happy 2009, Darling Tunch.
You are looking as svelte and dapper as ever.
Seriously.
RSA
Do you keep the thermostat really high, John? Because there’s a puddle of cat on your rug.
Punchy
….mo chins than a Chinese phone book….
Cassidy the Racist White Man
My recipe for cat weight loss:
1) Throw cat outside after it starts biting the shit out of your hand.
2) Move cross country; miss cat as it seems to have run off.
3) Spend 5 days going from the South to Midwest with a Uhaul trailer.
4) Open Uhaul after hearing cat noises while smoking.
5) Voila! Skinny cat.
whatsleft
Tunch puts the "aw" in awesome. Happy New Year all!
Krista
There you go, John. Problem solved.
I like Tunch’s markings too…he somewhat resembles a Turkish Van. (And come on guys, no jokes about him resembling any other sort of van.)
passerby
LOL.
My minou, Rex, weighs in at 11 lbs. Stretched out he’s nearly 3 feet long and recently his vet complimented me on keeping him fit. I shrugged and said that he’s an indoor-outdoor cat and he eats ad libitum from his bowl of dry food. (I gorge him on turkey during the holiday time. It’s like crack to him even more than albacore tuna which I give him on Fridays.)
Does Paunch..uh Punch..er..I mean Tunch, does Tunch live indoors only? I have a theory that Rex’s daily prowl in battle mode with the accompanying adrenaline helps keep him a lean, mean, kitteh machine.
Do they make hamster wheels for cats? Nevertheless, I bet Tunch makes a great hot-water bottle on a cold winter’s night.
[confession: I want to sit down with Tunch and sqwish the fur on his belly. good good boy]
harlana pepper
You lucky bastard, what an awesome cat
Laura W
@Krista: Remember this one? Who can forget Hillary and Barack Kitties on treadmill?
Ash Can
Does Tunch have his own ZIP code?
Laura W
@Ash Can:I will be sure to get the attribution correct on this one next year.
srv
Because it’s in the script.
scruncher
Tunch is a handsome devil.
KRK
Happy New Year, Balloon Juicers!
My Gus sends greetings to lovely Tunch and offers his sympathies on the fat jokes.
I have to agree with passerby that activities make the difference. Gus was a roly poly city cat who slimmed down significantly when I brought him to the country and he discovered the joys of hunting voles. He’s still a big cat, but not a big cat.
Comrade Nikolita
Happy New Year everyone! :)
My 6 year old tuxedo cat, Cat, says hi. She’s a little fluffy too (6 years and about 12lbs). We also have an 11 month kitten named Tac, and he’d say hi but he’s watching TLC with me right now.
Cain
Happy New Years, dudes and dudettes! Another wonder year of BJin’g with ya’all it’s been enjoying and looking forward for another year of the same :)
cain
Limniade
The thing about outdoor cats is that there are other outdoor things like cars and predators. I’ve lost more than one cat to the above, and I’d rather have a fat cat than a flat cat.
bago
@Josh Hueco: It’s way better on ketamine. Not that I have personal experience.
firebrand
Good lord, that is one adorable, ginormous cat.
Laura W
@Limniade: Word. I’ve had 7 (?) cats over the last 18 years and have not lost one to a predator, and all have had outside privileges when I am home, during daylight hours. However, 9 months ago I decided to invest in one of these enclosures because a very aggressive neighborhood tom with a huge territory which included my 9 damn acres (whose feeders will not neuter him, and believe me, I offered), tore into my then 16-yr-old boy cat mere feet from my front porch. It was ugly, and painful, and by the time I got to him there were puncture wounds in his neck and he had shat all over himself. He was dazed, to say the least.
I realized that as much as I am so in favor of cats being able to play outdoors, if I saw a coyote, fox or predator dog running off with one of my cats in their mouths, I’d never forgive myself. Ever. So we have the Purrfect Fence. It seems to satisfy 3 of the 4, anyway.
Ellid
Behold the glory that is Malfoy. He does look something like Tunch, although slimmer.
Laura W
@Ellid: Wow. He is gorgeous! Edible, almost. (In the yummy, metaphorical, eat you up, kind of way, not the roasted guinea pig literal kind of way on the other thread.)
Limniade
@Laura W:
Of our family cats while I was growing up, we’ve had a couple cats run away, two who were hit by cars (one fatally, one received a broken leg), one whom we found in a tree as a kitten, and who preferred to stick around the yard (though she dislocated her hip once jumping off our shed, because she became very Tunch-like in her girlish figure), and one who lived a long life as an outdoor hunter, until one day he failed to return at age 17. So, there have been good experiences and bad experiences.
Picture of Casey in his favorite position
I’ve been living in apartments for the last 10 years, and I’m in a third-floor walk-up, so it’s not like Casey can go run around on his own anyway. But Casey’s a people person–where people are, there he is happiest. He enjoys sitting on my balcony in the summer, but prefers to be no more than 30 feet away from a lap at all times. Works out for both of us.
Laura W
@Limniade: Your Casey epitomizes my favorite cat. Big, fat, fluffy, orange and white boy.
I’ve had two like that, and both have been my favorites of the tribe. Here is Walter in his favorite position, same as Caesy’s. Walter was also a people cat. Loved everyon! Walter lived for his daily walkabouts in the gardens and died suddenly in May of 2007 (saddle thrombosis). Nearly killed me.
Anyway, once my geriatrics are gone, I’ve promised myself another fat, fluffy boy cat. Or two.
Gatsby
Laura W
What is it about red & white tabby boy cats that they are so adorable? (And love to sleep with their belly and paws in the air?).
I lost mine suddenly too, in June of 2007. I’m still grieving.
Katey
Tunch isn’t fat, he’s just short!