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44Comments

  5. 5.

    jon

    Most ads for weight loss programs may as well have a stripper pole. If they were online, they could have a tip jar and an app that makes the "money" appear in the g-string of choice.

  7. 7.

    R-Jud

    Discuss.

    I would only do something so ridiculous-looking, even in the privacy of my own home, if I were being paid thousands of dollars an hour for it. I was also going to add that it’s unlikely I would be paid anything at all for it, being Hugely Pregnant, but you never know.

    Hmmm. Dignity… or college fund?

  8. 8.

    Krista

    Pole dancing has been touted as a form of exercise for years — where the hell have you guys been?

    I’d try it, just for shits and giggles, but yeah…only in the privacy of my own home. I’m not the most coordinated of girls, so I can see many a bump and bruise resulting.

    But…does it really surprise you that pole dancing is now mainstream, between the whoretastic stylings of the Pussycat Dolls and those awful Bratz dolls?

    Sex has always sold, but it’s gotten almost to the point where you wonder how much farther it can go. Soon you’ll be receiving a free vibrating butt plug with your next subscription to Time.

  9. 9.

    Laura W

    @R-Jud: Brings to mind Amy Poehler’s very pregnant bar dance skit. (Can’t find link to video to save my life.) That was a very disturbing sight, but I’ve never believed I could deal with being pregnant anyway, for all the physical changes and discomfort.

    Oh yeah. Israeli ground forces moving into Gaza as we speak.

  12. 12.

    HeartlandLiberal

    Not a surprise, but this is apparently very popular among Mormons.

    Pole Dancing Mormons Make Push For Olympics

    But hey, it is really very understandable. It is just a good, healthy way to remind a woman of her secondary status in society as a sex object, as she flips around the symbol of her manly Mormon husband’s (or current male admirer’s, whatever) penis, the erect, upright pole.

    I can see the Mormon living room, with its permanently installed pole, and the husband and wife coming together in marital bliss, as he admiringly stuffs 100 dollar bills in her g-string.

    Just imagine the fun if the Mormon man is a member of the polygamous sects still on the loose out there. Whew. I am getting all steamy and sweaty just thinking of it.

  13. 13.

    srv

    Hmm. Y’all have had a great idea. Workout club by day, strip club by night. We should franchise this.

    BTW, Larison has finally returned and has a panoply of postings.

  17. 17.

    joe from Lowell

    Seeing as how there is nothing wrong with the big beautiful girls – nothing at all – I’m of the opinion that that must be the greatest ad ever made.

  18. 18.

    R-Jud

    @Laura W:
    I’ve never believed I could deal with being pregnant anyway…

    I didn’t think so either, but so far, so not-so-bad, and I’m not dreading labor day. My main fears involve keeping the thing alive once it’s out…

    Oh yeah. Israeli ground forces moving into Gaza as we speak.

    … which will clearly be easier here on Airstrip One than elsewhere in the world. As a taxpayer to both the US and the UK, I feel doubly shitty about the entire Middle East situation.

    But hey, this is a pole-dancing thread!

    I should note that they do offer a strip-aerobics class at my gym. No actual stripping, but the class is usually well-attended (and well-spectated by guys who fall off the treadmill while pretending not to look into the studio– no open leering, please, we’re British).

  19. 19.

    Monica Wolf

    Has anyone ever seen a fat pole dancer?

    So one could conclude that it works.

    Unlogically yours

    Monica

  20. 20.

    Doctor Science

    Laura:
    I’ve never believed I could deal with being pregnant anyway, for all the physical changes and discomfort.

    Speaking as one of the few commenters here who *has* been pregnant:

    1) the actual physical changes are usually easier to deal with than you think, not least because they are mostly quite gradual. Also, your body really is adapted to this (medical exceptions apply).

    2) the existential weirdness of looking down at your own body and seeing another creature moving around inside you is very real. Discussion topic: is it coincidence that Alien has both a female lead and an iconic representation of what women fear in pregnancy?

    3) labor is much longer and MUCH messier than they show on TV. I’m still kind of amazed I did it a second time, because generally I’m a total wimp about pain.

    4) the real shocking physical changes are in the few days after birth — basically, it’s as much change as for puberty, but compressed into less than a week.

  21. 21.

    Sebastien

    Well, tonight our primary mainstream channel offers a serious (because they say so) documentary on strip-tease. It’s not at primetime hour, though, so our decadence may not be so complete as believed.

    And since the mere mention of "dancing" brought me to indulge my amateur anime geek self, here’s what I just had to watch to itch the urge. Absolutely OT and SFW (or something is getting seriously wrong in my judgment…)

  22. 22.

    Laura W

    @Doctor Science: I must’ve stumbled into Irony Land, here, me starting a childbirth trail! (Actually R-Jud started it, but I’m contributing!) Points all well taken in terms of bodily changes being gradual (after all, how many times in my life have I gained/lost/gained/lost large amounts of weight with nothing to show for it but self-loathing?)

    However, it’s the "birth" part of childbirth that would freak my ass out.

    3) labor is much longer and MUCH messier than they show on TV. I’m still kind of amazed I did it a second time, because generally I’m a total wimp about pain.

    No bigger wimp than I. I’ve whined about cramps every month for 34 years! I imagine it would be like all the cosmetic dental work I had done back in 96. I had a lot of enamel erosion so had 10 veneers put on top of mouth. Yes, worth it. But had I any idea of the hours in the chair and the days and weeks of pain, I never would’ve gone ahead with it. The thought that I might have to have a re-do some day renders me fetal, if you will (except I’m currently having horrific back pain that prevents fetal. Waaaaaaaaaa.)
    So big props to you brave women who do choose to breed. Someone’s gotta do it.
    Edit: As to R-Jud’s funny quip about keeping it alive once out, I was always far more afraid I would totally fuck it up emotionally and turn into one of those parents you see interviewed on teevee, probing journalists asking them if they have any idea why their child turned into a serial killer.)

  23. 23.

    J.

    Yeah, that’s how come there are so many skinny firefighters.

    Didn’t do much for Batman either.

    Want to lose weight? Do it the old-fashioned way. Want to be a pole dancer? Go to a strip club.

    (FYI, according to the calculator on HealthStatus.com, a 200-pound male burns 44 calories from 20 minutes of foreplay, and another 128 from 20 minutes of intercourse.)

  24. 24.

    Cain

    @Laura W:

    No bigger wimp than I. I’ve whined about cramps every month for 34 years! I imagine it would be like all the cosmetic dental work I had done back in 96. I had a lot of enamel erosion so had 10 veneers put on top of mouth. Yes, worth it. But had I any idea of the hours in the chair and the days and weeks of pain, I never would’ve gone ahead with it. The thought that I might have to have a re-do of some sort some day renders me fetal, if you will (except I’m currently having horrific back pain that prevents fetal.)

    I chipped a front tooth in cycling accident when I was 9 years old. Basically I was cycling through a pile of leaves and some stick got into the front spoke and catapulted me into the air. Anyways, I think when they added the compound (I don’t know what they call it, and my wife’s dentist!) it took hours of keeping my mouth open. I’m claustrophobic and so being crowded like that makes me panic. But thanks to modern dentisty, that couple of hours long procedure now takes 15 minutes. It might be the same for you.

    I didn’t know how bad my claustrophobia was until I was doing a CTSCAN and was told not to move. That was enough to cause it… the suggestion of not moving caused me to break out in sweats. God help me if I ever get crushed in an automobile. I’d rather die. Ugh, sorry didn’t realize thsi thread was about me hah. :)

    cain

  25. 25.

    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse

    Hmm. I guess I totally burned off that bubbly on New Year’s Eve. Bonus!

  26. 26.

    R-Jud

    @J.:

    Want to lose weight? Do it the old-fashioned way. Want to be a pole dancer? Go to a strip club.

    Agreed, agreed, agreed. When I tell people I lost 80 lbs. between age 20 and 22 and kept it off, they ask for my big secret. It’s this: I signed up for and ran two marathons in one year, lifted weights, and stopped eating shitty food. I have been doing that, barring injury and sickness, ever since. I will be doing the same again after the kid is out (and have not gained anything like 80 lbs whilst gestatin’ her).

  28. 28.

    Krista

    3) labor is much longer and MUCH messier than they show on TV. I’m still kind of amazed I did it a second time, because generally I’m a total wimp about pain.

    It’s not the pain that scares me about labour. I can deal with pain. (I’ve had kidney stones, and have been told that the pain is comparable to childbirth). It’s the loss of dignity. When I did have the kidney stones, the pain didn’t bother me. But the pain did make me throw up in front of everybody and THAT was what bothered me — losing control like that in front of a bunch of strangers.

    Ah, womanhood. Pole dancing, weight loss and labour all discussed in the same thread…kind of paints a picture, doesn’t it?

  29. 29.

    Comrade Stuck

    I’ve birthed a couple of kidney stones myself. The first one I remember laying on a gurney in the emergency room hollering my head off for someone to give me a shot. A couple of female nurses were standing near, both with wide happy grins on their faces. I told them that it wasn’t all that funny and one chuckled and said, now you know it feels. I said wtf, how what feels? She said, labor pains . Shortly thereafter, I become the proud father of an 8 millimeter jagged hunk of rock. so proud was I.

  30. 30.

    Joshua Norton

    The only Pole dance I know is the polka. I suppose you could lose weight if you did it long enough.

  31. 31.

    Cruel Jest

    Damn Liberals and their carnal permissiveness. I’m willing to bet, however, that Dennis Prager approves.

    Here’s my relevant link.

    Disclaimer: NSFW, no nudity, worth the wait.

  33. 33.

    Phoenician in a time of Romans

    I’ve lost weight through pole dancing, but only when I’m carrying bills rather than plastic.

    (FYI, according to the calculator on HealthStatus.com, a 200-pound male burns 44 calories from 20 minutes of foreplay, and another 128 from 20 minutes of intercourse.)

    No wonder Australians are getting so large if they only burn off about 13 calories from the average encounter…

  34. 34.

    TheHatOnMyCat

    Ah, womanhood. Pole dancing, weight loss and labour all discussed in the same thread…kind of paints a picture, doesn’t it?

    Well, at least you are among Democrats. If we were Republicans, we’d insist that you chose to be a woman.

  36. 36.

    Ed Marshall

    I don’t really want to fess up to this but back in my early twenties I kept time with some go-go dancers (the town was too pure to have even topless nudity, just a church and a bikini bar on every corner) and if you want abs that seems like it worked like nothing else on the planet. I don’t know about calorie count but if it’s done right it would be about the ultimate core workout.

  38. 38.

    djork

    Has anyone ever seen a fat pole dancer?

    So one could conclude that it works.

    Unlogically yours

    Monica

    Yes. The Clermont Lounge in Atlanta has fat pole dancers. Errrr, or so I’ve been told.

  40. 40.

    YellowJournalism

    4) the real shocking physical changes are in the few days after birth—basically, it’s as much change as for puberty, but compressed into less than a week.

    I concur on this. The first days after I gave birth were some of the worst in my life. I dealt with rude nurses, a bladder infection from an improperly removed cathater, sleeplessness, swollen legs and feet, visiting relatives who expected you to be ready for anyone to come around, stitches in the most akward of places, breastfeeding and other pressures of motherhood, and those wonderful physical and emotional changes. Not to mention, it was two weeks before Christmas and I’d had the flu when my son was born.

    As far as the dignity thing goes, I had my hoohaw looked at by so many strangers, I should have started charging a fee.

  41. 41.

    Monica Wolf

    Yes. The Clermont Lounge in Atlanta has fat pole dancers. Errrr, or so I’ve been told

    Maybe they’re not trying hard enough or having too many drinks between dances.

    Ha ha…great response though.

    M

  42. 42.

    Indylib

    @Krista:

    It’s the loss of dignity

    Oh, there is no dignity in a delivery room, but by the time hard labor hits you DO NOT care. You only want that baby out, you do not care what you say to anyone, how you look, or what anyone thinks of you. It’s actually pretty freeing.

  44. 44.

    gil mann

    Soon you’ll be receiving a free vibrating butt plug with your next subscription to Time.

    Soon? Jay Carney’s been there for years.

    Oh, you mean literally.

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