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You are here: Home / Politics / Republican Stupidity / Banana Republicans

Banana Republicans

by John Cole|  January 5, 20095:11 pm| 44 Comments

This post is in: Republican Stupidity, Assholes, Republican Crime Syndicate - aka the Bush Admin.

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Looks official to me:

The Minnesota Board of Canvassers certified Democrat Al Franken as winner of the state’s Senate race, but incumbent Sen. Norm Coleman’s attorneys have vowed to challenge the decision.

After two months of political and legal wrangling by both campaigns since Election Day, the board officially recognized Franken as the victor, marking the latest in a number of dramatic turns of events that have characterized the state’s Senate election.

The board certified Franken’s 225-vote lead over Coleman, moving the Democrat one step closer to unseating the first-term lawmaker. That tally includes both the hand recount of votes throughout the state, as well as hundreds of absentee ballots that had previously been disqualified for no stated, legal reason.

True to form, the GOP is pissed. CNN is reporting that the Governor refuses to sign the certification, and John Cornyn is promising a filibuster in order to stymie the seating of Franken. One last gasp from the whinging, wheezing GOP- a fitting tribute to the end of a disastrous eight years that began in the electoral chaos of Florida. They don’t like the results, so they will do what they can to get their way.

But don’t worry. In a few years, when the tables are turned, John Yoo will be around to provide the legal reasoning for the seating of a Republican in the exact same situation, the NY Times will give him premier space to spread the message, and Cornyn will forget all about his noble stand in this little Franken unpleasantness. That is just how they roll.

And let me just add- given how difficult it is to unseat an incumbent Senator, and given that Coleman lost to an SNL actor/writer in a three-way race, it gives you an idea how much he must suck. A smart person would just go away and lead a quiet life, given that repudiation.

*** Update ***

I stand corrected:

To be fair to Gov. Timmy, he’s not refusing to sign the certification. Under Minnesota law, there’s a 7-day wait period between certification and signing the certification so that challengers have time to file a challenge. This is part of the system that’s been so horrible and anti-Norm that we’ve been counting ballots live on the internet, where everyone can see ‘em.

I blame CNN. I will beat Wolf Blitzer with a transcript of his lies.

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Reader Interactions

44Comments

  1. 1.

    Josh Hueco

    January 5, 2009 at 5:20 pm

    Incumbent Senator Norm Coleman is no longer worthy of a registered trademark.

  2. 2.

    Martin

    January 5, 2009 at 5:22 pm

    No worries. According to your sponsor, Reynolds, Malkin, and Joe the Plumber will craft a 2.0 Republican Party and lead the GOP to new victories!

    With the Red State Rangers providing fire cover, I don’t see how they can lose.

  3. 3.

    Steven Donegal

    January 5, 2009 at 5:23 pm

    C’mon John, no one has yet accused Norm Coleman of being a smart person

  4. 4.

    Kevin K.

    January 5, 2009 at 5:24 pm

    John, just an FYI … voting is open for the Weblog Awards. I’m up against a Christian family blog, so I’m screwed. Jeebus always wins.

  5. 5.

    MattF

    January 5, 2009 at 5:25 pm

    It’ll be interesting to find out if the famous right-wing discipline still works in the next Congress. Who knows– perhaps there’s a point when the veil lifts and reality intrudes. But we shall see…

  6. 6.

    bayville

    January 5, 2009 at 5:30 pm

    Don’t forget Coleman also lost to a professional wrestler (Jessie Ventura) a decade ago.

    As political losers go, Coleman is at the head of the class.

  7. 7.

    John Cole

    January 5, 2009 at 5:32 pm

    @bayville: Walter Mondale.

  8. 8.

    gbear

    January 5, 2009 at 5:33 pm

    Franken’s Wrangling = Let’s make sure we count all the valid votes.

    Coleman’s Wrangling = Let’s declare victory very loudly – let’s not look at any of this stuff even though it’s mandated by law because it’s not really fair because I already won – let’s pull all these votes out because they look fishy to me – ok, let’s put them all back in because they’re not that fishy – let’s add all these rejected votes because I’m behind now and these counties are republican – let’s whine until Alan Page gets mad and clotheslines me and then we can sue him – lets get the senate republicans to whine too – etc etc etc etc.

    God, I hope he moves out of MN when this is over.

  9. 9.

    JL

    January 5, 2009 at 5:33 pm

    @Kevin K.: No Quarter is winning Best Political Coverage. They need to change their name to Waiting for Whitey.

  10. 10.

    TheAssInTheHatOnMyCat(Formerly Comrade Tax Analyst)

    January 5, 2009 at 5:34 pm

    But…but…but…I thought Al Franken was supposed to be a Good Sport and concede way back when he was 171-votes behind after the original count.

    Shorter Republicans: If they are ahead after the intial count, then it’s disruptive to ask for a recount. "Everybody just move along, nothing to see here."

    If they are behind, every possible legal avenue needs to be explored…at least until they get a count that shows them 1 vote ahead, in which case see above paragraph

    If they can’t ever get the lead, do everything possible (at this point, "screw the legalities" is the operative phrase) to block the seating of your opponent.

    Has anybody suggested lately that these assholes be tarred and feathered and then dragged through a pile of pig-shit?
    Consider it "suggested" now.

  11. 11.

    bayville

    January 5, 2009 at 5:36 pm

    John:

    Coleman ran in ’98 for Governor. Another three-way race featuring Ventura, Coleman and Hubert Humphrey’s kid.

  12. 12.

    Gus

    January 5, 2009 at 5:39 pm

    If Wellstone’s plane hadn’t gone down, Coleman would be just about to begin the 7th year of his career as a lobbyist. It was the nastiest campaign I can remember in Minnesota, which generally helps the Republican. If it hadn’t gotten so nasty Coleman would have been blown out.

  13. 13.

    DougJ

    January 5, 2009 at 5:40 pm

    One thing we know for sure: in eight years, Pawlenty and Coleman will write an opinion piece in the Times about the importance of seating elected Senators promptly.

  14. 14.

    Kevin K.

    January 5, 2009 at 5:40 pm

    @Kevin K.: No Quarter is winning Best Political Coverage. They need to change their name to Waiting for Whitey.

    Heh.

    The PUMAs are going to cling to these awards because it’s their last possible "win" after FAIL upon FAIL. BJ troll myiq2xu is promoting a wingnut blog in my blog’s award category via the Confluence because we’ve been busting his balls for weeks now.

  15. 15.

    Punchy

    January 5, 2009 at 5:45 pm

    Say what you want about Norm. That fucker makes GREAT coolers and tight camping equipment

  16. 16.

    gbear

    January 5, 2009 at 5:46 pm

    @John Cole:

    That was more of a victory over a deceased Paul Wellstone than a victory over Mondale. Mondale never really had enough time to establish himself as a candidate. In the one debate they had, Mondale sounded more like Coleman’s high school principal trying to tell him why he shouldn’t graduate (the actual relationship between the two was pretty much on that level). It was a very unreal couple weeks in almost every aspect, including the shitstorm that followed Wellstone’s public rememberance. Just an awful awful couple weeks in MN.

  17. 17.

    lojasmo

    January 5, 2009 at 5:46 pm

    Coleman was not our senator as of 11 CST Saturday. His term expired.

    Coleman’s office ordered closed today. Yay.

  18. 18.

    Kevin K.

    January 5, 2009 at 5:50 pm

    I don’t know what’s more amazing … that a guy named Barack Obama is president or that Al Franken does a half-way decent Mick Jagger impersonation.

  19. 19.

    The Moar You Know

    January 5, 2009 at 5:56 pm

    @Punchy: I’ve got one of his stoves, it’s fucking awesome. Come to think of it, I’ve got one of his lanterns as well.

    Don’t nobody go badmouthing Coleman around me!

  20. 20.

    The Dangerman

    January 5, 2009 at 6:00 pm

    Franken is a down payment on the payback due for Florida 2000 and the 8 long years of "fuck you" that the left has received. Operation "Cleavon Little" (new Sheriff in town) is just getting started.

  21. 21.

    Not My Fault

    January 5, 2009 at 6:02 pm

    @Punchy:

    Say what you want about Norm. That fucker makes GREAT coolers and tight camping equipment

    Bah – I just went through a pair of his boots in well under 100 miles. Never again. Now where can I find a me pair of Franken boots?

  22. 22.

    Tymannosourus

    January 5, 2009 at 6:03 pm

    Everyone listen up. This is what a death-rattle sounds like.

  23. 23.

    D-Chance.

    January 5, 2009 at 6:04 pm

    So does this mean the Nobel committee gives Coleman an award in a few years?

  24. 24.

    Tsulagi

    January 5, 2009 at 6:05 pm

    Coleman lost to an SNL actor/writer in a three-way race

    Pretty good, but I think a live Ashcroft losing to a dead Democrat six feet under still has the edge.

    You know, with Franken getting into the Senate, and filling Hillary’s shoes still a little messy and creating some animosity, I think they should give that Senate seat to Jon Stewart. He and Franken would be a good team broadening the audience for political coverage. Comedy Central could be the new CSPAN.

  25. 25.

    demimondian

    January 5, 2009 at 6:12 pm

    @Not My Fault: Me, I’m looking for a Big Al beer mug…a Monster Franken Stein

  26. 26.

    Ash Can

    January 5, 2009 at 6:21 pm

    @D-Chance.: If a new prize in abject fuckwittery is established, he might have a shot. Given the current crop of Republicans and assorted neo-con assplugs, however, he’d be facing some pretty tough competition.

  27. 27.

    guyermo

    January 5, 2009 at 6:24 pm

    one thing about the certificate not being signed…under minnesota law, an official certificate of the election cannot be issued until a week after the election is certified by the secretary of state’s office, to give parties time to issue an election challenge, which is what Norm will have to do by Sunday.

    Pawlenty’s just being a d!ck by not appointing Franken to fill the now vacant senate seat.

  28. 28.

    Bob In Pacifica

    January 5, 2009 at 6:34 pm

    Please, Senator Reid, let the Republicans filibuster this. Let it go long into the night, let it go for days and weeks, and as the economy remains in the sh*thole, let the Republicans read the phone book until 2010. Then we won’t have any of them to kick around.

  29. 29.

    C

    January 5, 2009 at 6:36 pm

    "The PUMAs are going to cling to these awards"

    The Paulentologists and PUMA racists only had online polls to begin with.

    They don’t exist in significant numbers IRL and have large amounts of free time to spam AOL polls with.

  30. 30.

    KRK

    January 5, 2009 at 6:42 pm

    I guess Tim "I’m a moderate" Pawlenty isn’t really that interested in a 2012 presidential campaign after all.
    Refusing to sign a certification resulting from the painstaking, transparent, taxpayer-funded efforts of a bipartisan elections board might come across as "moderate" to the Republican base, but you’d think Tim would have learned from his friend’s campaign this year that one can’t actually win a national election doing things that only appeal to the Republican base.

    Coleman really is a complete tool. The first time Jon Stewart broke my heart was when Coleman was on TDS early in his term and Stewart completely failed to mock him (even in a friendly way) for being a lifelong Democrat from Brooklyn who ended up a Republican Senator from Minnesota.

  31. 31.

    Delia

    January 5, 2009 at 6:44 pm

    @TheAssInTheHatOnMyCat(Formerly Comrade Tax Analyst):

    But…but…but…I thought Al Franken was supposed to be a Good Sport and concede way back when he was 171-votes behind after the original count.

    I don’t see why any gooper would think that someone who would dress up in tights and do a Mick Jagger impersonation would concede a Senate race without a fight. Maybe they got Franken mixed up with Al Gore.

  32. 32.

    thefncrow

    January 5, 2009 at 6:47 pm

    As much Republican fucknuttery is going on these days, Pawlenty and the certification is actually not part of it.

    The certification can’t come until 7 days after the final results are in, which is what we have now. That 7 day window leaves the opportunity for someone to file a lawsuit challenging the outcome of the election. If such a lawsuit is filed, the Governor doesn’t issue the certification until after the lawsuit is resolved.

    For once, this is a case of a Republican following the rules. It sorta looks like bastardry, but it’s actually what the law proscribes. The real bastardry is Cornyn in the Senate, wanting to block Franken from being provisionally seated.

  33. 33.

    KRK

    January 5, 2009 at 6:54 pm

    @thefncrow:

    I can accept that. So do we blame John or CNN for phrasing it as Pawlenty "refusing" to sign the certification? That doesn’t sound like just following the law; it sounds like grandstanding.

  34. 34.

    TheAssInTheHatOnMyCat(Formerly Comrade Tax Analyst)

    January 5, 2009 at 7:11 pm

    Delia
    @TheAssInTheHatOnMyCat(Formerly Comrade Tax Analyst):
    But…but…but…I thought Al Franken was supposed to be a Good Sport and concede way back when he was 171-votes behind after the original count.

    I don’t see why any gooper would think that someone who would dress up in tights and do a Mick Jagger impersonation would concede a Senate race without a fight. Maybe they got Franken mixed up with Al Gore.

    Well, yeah…I wasn’t aware of the Franken/Jagger impersonation, that changes everything. With that in mind, Coleman’s lucky Franken isn’t somewhere screwing Norm’s wife or daughter or something – although all things considered, I think Franken ought to just on GP’s.

  35. 35.

    Quaker in a Basement

    January 5, 2009 at 7:23 pm

    Aw, let Coleman play this all the way out through the courts without too much hassle from our side, willya?

    The MN supreme court ruling that just went against Coleman basically said: "We don’t decide whether an absentee ballot should have been counted or rejected–if the candidates don’t agree, then that’s why we have procedures to contest the election."

    So let ‘im. His arguments will be shot down soon enough.

  36. 36.

    Jeff Fecke

    January 5, 2009 at 7:25 pm

    To be fair to Gov. Timmy, he’s not refusing to sign the certification. Under Minnesota law, there’s a 7-day wait period between certification and signing the certification so that challengers have time to file a challenge. This is part of the system that’s been so horrible and anti-Norm that we’ve been counting ballots live on the internet, where everyone can see ’em.

    If Norm files suit — and it looks like he will — the official certification is postponed until the election contest is concluded. That said, I’m not sure why the GOP is so afraid of following the Mary Landrieu precedent, seating Franken and then giving the seat back to Coleman if Norm prevails. I mean, unless they’re just trying to game-play and delay Franken’s being seated for a while.

  37. 37.

    gbear

    January 5, 2009 at 7:29 pm

    Coleman’s lucky Franken isn’t somewhere screwing Norm’s wife or daughter or something

    You haven’t heard about Norm’s reputation, have you? Franken is lucky that Coleman isn’t somewhere screwing the women in Franken’s life. Just cause Norm’s wife lives in a different part of the country doesn’t mean Norm isn’t gettin’ any…

  38. 38.

    leo

    January 5, 2009 at 7:53 pm

    "Banana Republicans"

    Priceless.

  39. 39.

    The Other Steve

    January 5, 2009 at 9:08 pm

    You haven’t heard about Norm’s reputation, have you? Franken is lucky that Coleman isn’t somewhere screwing the women in Franken’s life. Just cause Norm’s wife lives in a different part of the country doesn’t mean Norm isn’t gettin’ any…

    Coleman’s wife moved back home a couple years ago and got a job "selling" Insurance from one of Coleman’s big political donors. Or at least she’s drawing a pay check. Nobody has any idea what she is actually doing.

  40. 40.

    The Other Steve

    January 5, 2009 at 9:10 pm

    I had not heard that Pawlenty is going to refuse to sign. That’d be pretty stupid.

  41. 41.

    The Other Steve

    January 5, 2009 at 9:14 pm

    The 2002 election that Norm won was far more bitter than the 2008 one. I was actually surprised to see people complaining about the negativity this time around.

    I didn’t see any signs on the street proclaiming Franken was Karl Marx, like I did with Wellstone.

  42. 42.

    Phoenix Woman

    January 5, 2009 at 11:33 pm

    Yes, Norm does indeed suck, which is why it’s so hilarious that his name’s being bandied about as a possible RNC chair. He’s a tool, pure and simple, as much his own man as is George W. Bush. He can’t run his own career, much less those of thousands of Republican candidates.

  43. 43.

    ET

    January 6, 2009 at 8:56 am

    I guess Coleman is not going step aside for the good of the state or whatever like he urged Franken to do just after the election.

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