Sometimes when I check memeorandum, I swear I am having a bad trip. Here are the currently listed stories:
1.) Porn Industry Seeks Federal Bailout– I am going to just assume this is a joke, although I will note it brings new meaning to the phrase “stimulus package.”
2.) Joe the Plumber to become war correspondent– Putting aside the fact that this is Joe the non-plumber going, I have no idea what they think this will accomplish, especially considering that Israel refuses to let any reporters into the zone. Why Joe thinks he will get in is beyond me.
3.) McCain Starts ‘Country First’ PAC– Has no one told that Americans did, in fact, put country first, and thus voted against him and the Wasilla wingnut?
4.) $1.2 Trillion Deficit Forecast as Obama Weighs Options– I remember when a couple hundred billion dollar deficit was breathtaking.
The whole world has gone mad.
robertdsc
The shots of President-Elect Obama with all living past Presidents was a nice thing to see today.
Great shots today.
Otherwise, it’s a daily refrain: the stupid, it burns. >_>
plus C
Palin ’09
No one told her that elections only happen every four years.
Chuck Butcher
Do we want to know if that has any factual basis? I will admit to having had a more than a passing familiarity with that subject. It might actually improve the "R" bunch if somebody saw to their ingestion of something that interesting. (look, I’m 55 and have claimed leftism as an orientation for around 45 yrs – some of you will figure that out)
I can remember when the "Rs" refused to believe that a certain amount of deficit spending was good… I admit all that changed with St Ronnie. BTW John, have you kicked that grade B movie star governor to the curb? I ask because if you pull it all apart you can track this mess today to him (and his acolytes).
Cripes, PJ.com is putting the plumber wannabe into Israel? Oh for cripes sake. Do you know these idjits? I mean…um…WTF, over?
plus C
@Chuck Butcher: I don’t think it’s such a bad idea. If Joe’s in Israel, then he’s not here. Hopefully, he’ll be there long enough to realize that his 15 minutes are up.
Dreggas
You forgot that some want to re-litigate Schiavo LOL. Not to mention Specter being a total douche-nozzle about the Holder appt.
Dreggas
@plus C:
Well if something bad happens to him I am sure the Red State Strike Farce crack suicide squad will rescue him.
Steve V
Was listening to Limbaugh today, as I occasionally do, and he was loving that deficit news. Was going on and on about how it figures that a Democrat will have a huge deficit and how bad deficits are for the country. They do this shit with straight face.
AnneLaurie
Be fair, Chuck: Those ‘acolytes’, Cheney & Rumsfeld & Wolfowitz, actually got their *first* shots at destroying America during the Nixon administration. St. Ronnie’s real accomplishment was putting a happy face on the Plantation Party’s not-so-secret goal of reducing America to another third-world oligarchy with a tiny cadre of rich white guys ruling the teeming hordes of serfs with the eager assistance of house… foremen… like Abu Gonzales and Condasleasy Rice. The Dems’ original sin was not rooting every sub-sub-assistant-to-the-associate-CREEPster out into the harsh light of public scrutiny during the brief period when the Watergate hearings would have made it possible.
Thom
Joe doesn’t want to see the fighting, he wants to talk to noble Jews protecting holy for Armageddon (in which the Jews will be slaughtered).
jrg
FTW. Print a bumper sticker and I’ll buy it.
Mr. Sifter
Joe the plumber is going to Israel to cover the war, not Gaza, the place where the war is occurring. He wants to let the average Israeli Joe "share their story." Republicans have a hard time separating propaganda from journalism.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
Palin ‘09
No one told her that elections only happen every four years.
I think there should be a Spring ’09, a Summer ’09, a Fall ’09, and so on – so that she can get a new wardrobe every season on the RNC dime.
gil mann
The porn industry bailout makes sense to me; They’ve gotta be hurting. Their business model in the internet era is to post sexually explicit, hi-rez clips free of charge in the hopes that people will say to themselves "A policewoman and a cowboy? How did those two get together?" and then pay to fill themselves in on the backstory.
Davebo
Shorter George W. Bush…
I’m walking out the door, but I’m going to fuck all of America up the ass before I’m gone!
Yet, he’s against gay marriage or civil unions.
Makes sense really, the alimony would be a real bitch.
Flappy McScrotum
$1.2 Trillion Deficit Forecast as Obama Weighs Options- I remember when a couple hundred billion dollar deficit was breathtaking.
Just think, 8 years ago the Republicans were complaining that Bill Clinton and Al Gore were going to pay down the National Debt too fast.
lovethebomb
A post about a bailout of the porn industry on a blog named Balloon juice, whose initials are common nomenclature for fallatio, makes sense if you think of balloons as testicles.
Plum juice, nutbag milk, texas tea.
Jethro, get Ellie May.
Brian J
How much of this is not deficit spending like we’re used to? The government might lose money on the $700 billion bailout to the financial industry, but I was under the impression that it wasn’t deficit spending in the sense that it was being spent on roads and the military. There was also some talk that if the government sells the financial products it owns, it could make money because it was bought at such a cheap price even though it’s not actually worthless.
srv
I’ve had a long life of lambasting Bermuda Triangle, UFO abduction, black helicopter, New World Order, Contrail and Truther nuts… But the degrees of difference between The Onion and Reality are rapidly approaching zero.
Is there a scientific term for this?
Sirkowski
The Canadian/US exchange rate is somewhat back to normal now. But from 2003 (I wonder what happened that year, uh?) to mid-2008 my business lost money as the US dollar spiraled down the drain. And unlike GM, who was making products nobody needed, I make fapping material people desperatly need. So I deserve bailout money a lot more than every last ones of these fuckers.
Flappy McScrotum
We need a porn industry in this country. Porn is a major driving force in the technology industry. If porn goes, you could see a major drop in many computer hardware and internet development projects.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
@lovethebomb: a blog named Balloon juice, whose initials are common nomenclature for fallatio…
Fallatio = the belief you’re giving a blow job when it is logically impossible for you to be.
Duke of Earl
@AnneLaurie:
This.
Dreggas
@Flappy McScrotum:
Yes we do, without pr0n what will get our, shall we say, creative juices flowing?
Duke of Earl
@srv:
Entropy increases?
Duke of Earl
@lovethebomb:
Ellie May is busy with Uncle Jed right now, Jethro will have to wait his turn.
John
I’ll just take the opportunity to point out that Joe Francis is slime. If we’re going to bail out the porn industry, surely we should bail out the parts of it that don’t rely on getting girls drunk and not paying them for their work.
For more on what a douchebag Joe Francis is, see here.
demkat620
Not to mention Specter being a total douche-nozzle about the Holder appt.
To be fair, when isn’t Specter being a total douche-nozzle?
Reverend Dennis
Heard David Frum play a damned fine round of Calvinball on NPR’s "Marketplace" today.
His points:
1) Obama is being too hasty with his recovery plan and committing too much money to it.
2) "Some economists" maintain that the best way to deal with an economic downturn is to just let it play out. Government intervention may actually make things worse.
3) A plaintive wail "Who’s going to pay for all this?"
Point #3 was game, set, and match coming from someone who clapped his little flippers every time the Repubs came up with another scheme to lower revenues while increasing spending.
Just Some Fuckhead
@John: That ain’t even porn. My buddy Bill used to say it ain’t porn unless it’s got midgets, animals or well-endowed black men in it. Now, I don’t necessarily agree with his stagecraft selections and could probably make a good case that his remarks are, at the very least, insensitive. But the underlying point my Buddy Bill was making is that everything else is just sex or titillation. Real porn is a show. And the show must go on.
demkat620
Does anyone know why I am having trouble with html in Safari? Or is it just me? I tried to blockquote Dreggas but it didn’t work.
Flappy McScrotum
Dreggas
Yes we do, without pr0n what will get our, shall we say, creative juices flowing?
The dirty secret about the computer industry is that it’s driven by porn and games. The early demands for broadband were made by people who wanted to download porn. Early cd burners were bought by people who wanted to save their downloaded porn. E-Commerce security and tracking was driven by sites that wanted to sell you porn.
Chuck Butcher
@AnneLaurie:
Pah, RMN would qualify as a liberal to St Ronnie’s bunch. That crap never got traction until the St Ronnie sold it and sold it. It took Ronnie to elevate those hacks.
Death is the only thing that ever gets their kind away from the levers of power. They drift into some place that’ll pay them until somebody like Ronnie or George I or George II bring them back.
Judas Priest, Cheney used his contacts to CEO Halliburton into bankruptsy and that into VP. A gun could cure that crap, but it’s frowned upon.
TenguPhule
Terminal Reality Failure.
Reverend Dennis
If there is a porn bailout I, as a concerned American, will voluntarily go wherever porn is being made and stay as long as it takes to make certain that our borrowed dollars are being properly spent.
Terri
Joe the Dumber going to Israel to "cover" the war.
Redneck version: "Here, hold my beer and watch this"
Jamey
Having been to perpetually war-torn Gaza, I can say without qualification that the Palestinians living there have far greater need of a plumber, even a marginally qualified one, than they have of a journalist (again, marginally qualified).
Again, Joe backs the wrong horse in a two-nag race.
NickM
The Joe the Plumber story arc is interesting. He’s like a litmus test of how brain-dead the GOP has become.
My guess is that Joe can make a pretty good living playing off the base for a while.
Jamey
20: Not sure whether you’re kidding or not, but porn is what turned the VCR (and later the DVD player) from an obscure, pricey gadget into a fixture found in every home.
It’s a far more consequential industry than most would care to admit, and the driver of a few markets. Take lubes, for example…
Delia
@robertdsc:
Hey, those are some great pix of Obama with Georgie. Barack has this interesting expression of studious interest on his face, as if he’s the high school’s most popular teacher trying to figure out what makes the school bully, thug and general loser operate, and if there’s any possible way to reach him.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Delia: I bet Jr. leaned over and whispered to Obama, please don’t leave me alone with pops, he’s gonna get all over my case for breaking the world.
Delia
@Just Some Fuckhead:
Oh, Jr. doesn’t have to worry on that account. He’s always got his mummy to beat up poppy for him.
Punchy
Call Guiness. This just set a record for the number of puns and double entendres in one snarkommet.
Walter Sobchak
@ Chuck Butcher
Halliburton did not declare bankruptcy. It was their sub (KBR) that filed a pre-packaged bankruptcy to settle their asbestos litigations – this was done with the vast majority of the plaintiffs going along by the way. The parent itself never filed.
Punchy
WTF is "fapping material"?
Just Some Fuckhead
@Punchy: fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapuhah
Mentis Fugit
Jethro, get Ellie May.
"The Beaverly Hillbillies", right?
I haven’t followed the story up (I’m at work, okay?) but if that "porn bailout" business is another Mary Carey publicity stunt, I won’t be in the least surprised.
Walter Sobchak
Punchy – fapping material is porn
Punchy
@Walter Sobchak: I should have known. When unsure of a term on this site, always assume it’s raunchy and fire up the UD for the confo.
So Sirkowski is a pr0n star, eh? NICE.
Comrade Kevin
@Punchy:
Think Rich Lowry and "starbursts".
Fern
@Delia:
He does feign interest and respect very well.
The Grand Panjandrum
Transcribed from my well worn copy of the Woodstock album:
Give me an F …
Comrade Stuck
@Reverend Dennis:
I’ve thinking about this problem, and believe the porn industry and it’s er customers (cough) should all pitch in and launch their own Porno Satellite. We could call it Fucknik and give the Russky Big Bear some Erofail.
Brick Oven Bill
I believe the scientific term for this is “The Quickening”. Which one is Kurgan?
mapaghimagsik
Jeebus. Its gets crazier and crazier. I’m crazy for not trying to get my own bailout.
Xanthippas
Memeorandum is the gossip rag of the blogosphere. As the campaign ground on, I started checking it for what I shouldn’t blog about.
flounder
I wonder if "Country First" will distribute percoset?
gex
@demkat620: Briefly, Specter wasn’t a douche when he tried to get the tax-subsidized NFL to offer it’s Sunday Ticket package on more than just one carrier, Direct TV. I hate Direct TV, would totally pay for Sunday Ticket on cable, but am not allowed to purchase the package to pay to see teams who play in tax-payer funded stadia. But then he came to his senses and stopped working for the people again.
Sasha
The porn bailout is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read.
Larry Flynt is pulling a great political satire/stunt. It’s better than him using the "private sector" to out congresscritters guilty of infidelity during MonicaGate.
gex
@robertdsc: Was Carter refusing to stand near the others or vice versa I wonder. It sure does look like he is distanced from the rest in the pics.
joeyess
John Cole:
Not to mention the phrase: "Hard times"
joeyess
John Cole:
That’s funny. Because my mother used to say the same thing about the run-up to WWII.
scarshapedstar
Or maybe
Either way, the fact that his first name is Samuel bears repeating… and, yes, with a nod to the Editors, this only serves to reinforce your original argument.
Chuck Butcher
@Walter Sobchak:
So you know how to quote the Cheney excuse do you? So fucking sorry, KBR doesn’t get to go without Halliburton and the asbestos wasn’t KBR, it was Cheney purchases based on the idea that liability didn’t travel with Grace, John’s Manville,etc. A fourth grader knows that’s horseshit, so – Congress bails out Asbestos and Cheney gets Halliburton no bids. Don’t fucking blow smoke at people that know better, Halliburton hadn’t filed but their stock was in the toilet and w/o the Cheney/Congress rescue they were done.
Lying bastards never told the truth and neither did most media the goddam facts lay right there for anybody to pick up. You blow smoke at me? 2000 Halliburton price goes from $54 to $15 and you want to pretend you know something? $15/share their stock was underwater vs asbestos liability. Fuck you. I said he drove them to bankruptsy and what the fuck would you call that?
You ignorant ass apologists piss me off to no end, especially for these criminal fucking scumbag motherfuckers. You figured out the Iraq War yet? Asshole.
Don’t ever make the mistake that I don’t know what the fuck I’m about. I took that mess apart front to back and the involved companies.
Delia
@gex:
On Olbermann tonight the word was that Carter and Clinton hate each other. That must explain the distance between them.
TheAssInTheHatOnMyCat(Formerly Comrade Tax Analyst)
BTW – Larry Flynt just filed suit this week against two nephews (Jimmy Flynt II, and Dustin Flynt) to "protect his good name". It seems these younger members of the Flynt clan are using the Flynt family name for their OWN line of Adult films. Unc is concerned that these two scaliwags might tarnish the Flynt franchise by producing lower-quality porn that the lawsuit refers to as, "inferior products", and "knock-off goods".
Young Dustin countered that uncle Larry filed suit out of his "inferiority complex", and that trademark lawsuits were just "a way for big business and rich people to put a muzzle on the little guy". (I think there might be a porno movie plot in that last statement) Anyway, he went further on to say, "I spent a lot of blood, flesh and tears working directly for my family, and it wasn’t easy." I wonder if any of that blood, flesh and tears he spent happened to be his own?
pir
joe the plumber becomes a war correspondent for pajamas tv. OMG, somebody stop me before i die from laughter.
Sirkowski
In the loose sense of the word? Yes. lol
AnneLaurie
Fortunately, Chuck, the Banana Republicans are mightily in favor of bringing back the death penalty. And as soon as we indict the C-Plus Augustus, Darth Cheney, and all of their minions for treason, felony theft, barratry, simony, et al I will *totally* agree!
Mouse Tolliver
@pir:
Hey, it worked for Matt "Dirty" Sanchez of World Nut Daily infamy. He pulled all his gay escort ads, and he hasn’t been caught trying to hookup with anonymous strangers on Craigslist in a while, so I’m assuming his war correspondent/wingnut blogger gig paid off.
gogiggs
On the other hand, it gives the same old meaning to the phrase "package stimulus".
BruceK
That thumping sound you just heard was the editors of The Onion slamming their heads against their desks, because not-Joe the not-Plumber’s news means they’ve got to trash next week’s lead piece.
(Come to think of it, the GOP’s been outdoing The Onion pretty regularly the past decade, hasn’t it?)
(edited five times to remove potential double entendres)
Chuck Butcher
You have to admit that it is a real accomplishment for a political party to destroy a form of humor. Irony is dead, long live the Confederacy.
bago
Is xkcd porn?