Some good old-fashioned American style football is on the tv today, not to be confused with that sissified European style stuff that might appeal to bon vivants, raconteurs, and other French sounding furrriner types (or even filthy Surrey schoolboys such as Sullivan). Nope- we are talking real men with leather balls.
At any rate, as a Steelers fan and near professional Ray Lewis hater, I am grudgingly rooting for the Titans over the Ravens, and while I would not be so crass to say so out loud, I might more accurately be described as rooting for injuries.
In the girlie-man NFC, I will clearly be rooting for the Cardinals for the sheer novelty of it.
Also, completely OT, but it occurs to me that we need a correspondent in the field for the inauguration. Preferably someone familiar with all internet traditions and in possession of a digital camera. My first choice just announced that he will be “reporting” from Israel, so any volunteers?
*** Update ***
For all you haters out there who like to give Tunch grief because he is undertall, my friend Tammy has sent along a picture of her 31.5 pound cat (and no, that was not a typo), Tyler. And believe me, this is a slimming picture taken from two to three of his good angles, as he actually looks bigger in real life:
I have no idea what he is doing with his tongue, but there is a solid chance he might be trying to eat himself.
JWeidner
heh.
Roza Hussein
THIS…should be good
Mike E
Girlie NFC — heh, good’ern. Don’t root for injuries when your QB is still seeing floaters, tho I know what you mean. Here’s to a low-seed SB!
Just Some Fuckhead
Go Ravens!
Just Some Fuckhead
I swear they lose every time I do that.
Kathy
This one is tough. I went to school in Nashville (long before there was a pro-team there) and I lived in Baltimore when I got my first job, again, back when the Ravens were the Browns. Of course I have family in Cleveland who still curses the name of Modell, but he and a good chunk of that crowd has moved on. John Feinstein had a great book about the Raven’s 2004 season and I just couldn’t hate the Ravens after I read it.
Nonetheless, I think I’ll go route for Pittsburgh tonight. I just can’t relate to people who live in a paradise like San Diego. Tomorrow’s easy. Cardinals because I would rather the Eagles play them, and of course, E-A-G-L-E-S!!!!!! Although if they blow it, I will then root for a Giants/Steelers game.
Ham and lentil soup for dinner tonight with a nice merlot, what about you guys?
Laura W
Renato volunteered in previous thread, I think? Did you not see that? Does he not fit your requirements?
Is this a trick question?
If yes to #3, I’m an idiot.
Josh Hueco
Meh. Right now I’m watching college basketball, where young men are playing with much bigger balls.
John Cole
@Laura W: I missed it.
scruncher
I am an amateur Ray Lewis hater. Go Titans.
Go Steelers!
Steve Balboni
I’m no doctor but they may want to see a physician about that.
Ella in NM
Oh no you di-indt. You BETTA NOT be dissin’ the beautiful game again!
Oh, and having a giant child who played both American and "the other" football, even he will tell you he was in better physical shape when he played soccer. Yeah, he could squash you if he sat on you when he played D-line, but he couldn’t outrun his grandma to the refrigerator (ok, I admit, she runs marathons and gets a head start in overcoming momentum….)
Josh Hueco
@Steve Balboni:
Sounds like an upcoming episode of House.
Ninerdave
Go niners!!
Oh wait, meh, Titans I guess.
Ninerdave
I can take pictures of my TV screen if you want.
dewberry
Dinner? leftover chicken, shredded with BBQ sauce. Served with homemade biscuits and broccoli slaw.
Watching the games with one eye. No team really pulling me to root for them. I’m in Houston, so lots of folks still despise Bud Adams, but I’ve moved on.
Just Some Fuckhead
Haha.. that was cool. Needed 13, took it all.
EdTheRed
‘Course, my grandma’s 6’2", 220 and runs a 4.6 40. And Randy Floyd? You get yourself together and you sign your commitment to your team!
Soccer has one tremendous advantage over gridiron: no f*cking commercial breaks…also, no piped-in canned music, and no Daniel Snyder Experience-style announcers telling you when you’re supposed to cheer.
Moving on, as a native Wershingtonian, I’ll be right here in DC during the inaugural festivities. If I’m not too drunk, I’ll happily post some observations here in the Balloon Juice comment zone. I might even send in some photos.
Kathy
Wow, Flacco has quite an arm, what a TD pass. This is going to be quite a game. Just to bring some O/T coaching rumors, I heard that John Harbaugh’s brother, Jim is one of many candidates being considered for the Lion’s job. It makes some sense, Jim Harbaugh was a very beloved QB at UofM (back when my hubby and my brothers were there.) He could probably be hired for peanuts compared with other coaches with actual NFL experience. Which I why I think WCF will be boneheaded enough to do it. I hope Jimmy is strong enough to say no. He needs some NFL assistant experience first. Actually, I would love to see Michigan get rid of RichRod and hire Harbaugh.
harlana pepper
I cant talk football, but aw, I wanna rub his belly
passerby
It would be satisfying to see some other teams ascend to the superbowl instead of the usual suspects…except the stilllers of course.
EdTheRed
I’m pretty sure that cat is just licking his chops after having polished off both Solo *and* the Wookie in one sitting.
Punchy
Ravens gunna smoke da Tit’ans. Joe FuccU has the moxie to roll a WAYYYYY overhyped Tennysee squad. Kerry Freakin Collins? No chance. If I’m Balty, I have a substitute assistance ball-boy polisher find Kerry Collins at half and offer him a Tom Collins. Then find him an automobile.
Yeah, I said it.
Go Cards, too.
Common Sense
Dude, as a Steelers fan you root for injuries AND a Ravens victory. AFC Championship at Heinz Field? Hello?
Or maybe you are just scared of the Ravens. I don’t blame you they look pretty dangerous IMO.
JL
@passerby: I don’t think the Cardinals have been to a Super Bowl but Kurt Warner sure has. He’s not bad for an old guy.
gwangung
I think Jim Harbaugh just signed an extension at Stanford….
Laura W
Tyler is, without a doubt, the best photo companion for a football thread in the entire history of this blog.
I’ll bet he is a pawsome spooner in bed.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Punchy: I don’t see how Tennessee is overhyped. They’re the best team in the AFC and Baltimore was slightly favored to beat them in this game.
Punchy
Justin Gage looks wired.
Punchy
@Just Some Fuckhead: Nah. Balty 3 point dogs. Tenny had best record, but not the best team. IMO, natch.
scruncher
What a brutal game. May have to go for a walk. Yes, I’m a wimp.
donnah
Hell, strap a helmet on that cat and let HIM play football.
Tom Levenson
All I can say re Tyler is that if I were a sentient being in the same room, I would be afraid. Very, very afraid.
Just Some Fuckhead
Finally, an interception.
Anoniminous
@Steve Balboni:
Where’s good ol’ Tex & his .25% brain when you need him/her/it?
(Can’t nest blockquotes?)
Kathy
Good, smart guy. Back to currently reality. God, that cat looks like a bear skin rug.
passerby
@JL:
I’m forever pulling for underdogs and glad that the colts and pats (and cowboys) are out this year. The cards have been looking good and I like Warner.
Steelers, Packers and Dolphins have been my perennial surrogate teams. Can’t seem to get excited about the Titans and I like Flacco so I’m conflicted about todays game.
In the end, since my dog is not in this hunt, I just hope for good football.
Steve Balboni
I’m originally from St. Louis, grew up and went to high school there yadda yadda. I have some very early memories of going to football Cardinals games with my dad, then the team moved when I was 8. For my formative years we didn’t have a team and then the Rams showed up. I became a die-hard fan, which was tough when the team was absolutely wretched but my fandom eventually paid off with a Superbowl win. The quarterback of that team was league and Superbowl MVP Kurt Warner. The Warner/Rams split had more drama than a Palin family dinner and I soured on Warner. Now here we are in 2008 and the Rams are back to their old sh*tty selves and Warner is back in the playoffs… with the Cardinals.
What a mind-fuck.
Ed in NJ
As the Giants proved convincingly, the Ravens D is vastly overrated. They beat up on the weaklings and suck against good teams. Unfortunately, the Titans keep shooting themselves in the foot with turnovers.
Ellid
Are you absolutely certain that the cat has not spent his entire life dining on Primanti’s sandwiches, chipped ham, and the entire brunch buffet at Eat ‘n Park?
Just Some Fuckhead
@Ed in NJ: Yeah, who needs a defense when the other team is just magically turning it over?
Ninerdave
Why does Dan Dierdorf keep speaking. He makes me want to stick hot pokers in my ear drums.
J. Michael Neal
Relations between Harbaugh and Michigan are very poor. A couple of years ago, right after taking the Stanford job, he ripped the university, saying that the football staff wouldn’t let him take a difficult major, because they didn’t want it to take up his time, rather than football. A lengthy war of words followed. I would say that, at a minimum, Harbaugh won’t be invited to alumni functions, let alone hired as anything, so long as Ed Martin is the AD in Ann Arbor.
The funniest part about the whole thing is how angry my father (a professor at Michigan) got at Harbaugh. It’s funny, because every single complaint Harbaugh made is something my father agrees with. And, yes, the athletics are completely overprioritized, but that hardly makes Michigan different from a lot of places.
Karen
I would like to know what these cats are being fed, other than everything they want, to get so big. My 13 year old fixed female has never weighed over 6 (six) pounds in her life. But, she’s never had canned food, either. Maybe that’s it.
Punchy
is wholly incongruent with
A ball does not intercept itself………
Lauren
ZOMG! Tyler’s got my biggest cat by ten pounds.
I want him.
Laura W
Made me flash back to my dad’s season tickets for the LA Rams, late 60s, early 70s. He had four so the whole fam went. The night games were the best at the Colesium. Mon Nite Football had just started, and what was not to love about Roman Gabriel and my obsessive crush, lucky #13, Lance When-All-the-Laughter-Died-in-Sorrow Rentzel?
I went to an all girls high school in LA and for reasons I can not remember, my pals and I were rabid Steelers fans back in the Bradshaw/Harris days. I mean rabid. Well, not Cole family rabid.
And now it’s early Jan of 2009 and I live in NC and we are about to have a black prez and I don’t watch football any more but for the Super Bowl and I’m blathering on an NFL thread.
What a mind-fuck.
Roza Hussein
Steelers will prevail injuries or no
hate Ravens hate Titans
we beat the Ravens twice in reg season
it is an odds/jinx thing…
PS that cat is huge
Roza Hussein
hate Ravens hate Titans
we beat the Ravens twice in reg season
it is an odds/jinx thing…
PS that cat is huge
Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse
Karen, I have a hefty Burmese who doesn’t like canned food or people food, just kibble. And lots of it. NOW. He throws most of it up, mind you, so maybe the bulimia has done a number on his metabolism.
Tyler is breathtaking. When those FoodTV chefs let themselves go, they do it with gusto.
Just Some Fuckhead
Ravens D can’t keep up this pace. Offense needs to do something.
J. Michael Neal
He’s got almost 18 pounds on my biggest, and that was before they took a leg off.
Just Some Fuckhead
I think that cat is sneaking double-stuffed oreos when no one’s home. Normally cats don’t have the taste buds for that kinda stuff but my cat, the killin’ one not the old one, will maul a loaf of bread if he’s hungry enough.
Terri
That is no cat. It’s an upside down ottoman.
mellowjohn
i once went to a CHICAGO cardinals game at old comiskey park. that makes me real old.
and i personally prefer a real man’s game – rugby – to both american football and poofter ball, aka, soccer. i played for almost 30 years and can still walk. sorta.
Just Some Fuckhead
Is Ed Reed playing today?
Just Some Fuckhead
When did the Ravens get all these white players?
Max B.
rooting or otherwise, there’s a stretcher a minute this game.
Brick Oven Bill
My comment is about an advertiser for today’s game, Burger King. Burger King’s add agency should be fired.
During the season they had that big Burger King guy taking a snap from the Center, and then copping a feel. This, in my opinion, was disgusting. The last thing I want to think about when I eat a hamburger is a 300lb man’s butt.
Now they are introducing the ‘Angry Whopper’. I don’t know about anybody else, but I have heard the stories of disgruntled employees spitting on food, and those stories linger in my mind at the drive-through. I had a friend find a toe-nail on a slice of pizza once. Tell me that was accidental. Who wants to eat an angry hamburger?
McDonalds wasn’t much better when they introduced the ‘Big n’ Tasty’. Didn’t they know better? But McDonalds has improved, and guess what, sales are up.
Just Some Fuckhead
It ain’t the Stillers fault they drew the fucking Chargers but this game is the actual AFC Championship.
Ed in NJ
Punchy and JSF-
Either you are not watching the game, or you are trying to be smartasses (I pick this one). Dominant defenses don’t give up 200 yards in the first half. The Titans went up and down the field all half. On the two turnovers, Collins made a terrible decision and overthrew his receiver by 5 yards. On the fumble, LenDale White lost the ball trying to extend for a first down and exposing the ball. Neither looked like takeaways to me.
Now Chris Johnson is out, and Tennessee is out of sync. But Baltimore is still overrated. On pace to give up over 400 yards.
Bubblegum Tate
Holy shit. Tennessee doesn’t really want to win this game.
ChrisB
Hey, did Flacco step out of the end zone before throwing that incompletion?
Just Some Fuckhead
@Ed in NJ: Ed, you shoulda just claimed you were spoofing and moved on. There are a lot of stoopid assertions to make but the Ravens having an overrated defense has to to be top of the list. They’re in the hunt with a rookie coach and rookie qb in large part because of a defense that has been the class of the nfl for many many years now.
Trying to prove your stupid assertion based on this one game is even more stoopid on top of stoopid. Titans are best team in afc and are playing after a long rest a Ravens’ team that just played six days ago.
Screamin' Demon
That cat is going to die of kidney failure. Most morbidly obese cats do. While some people here find it amusing, I consider overfeeding akin to animal abuse.
But it’s not my cat, so it’s none of my business.
JL
Tennessee should tie it up now with a field goal before they turn the ball over again.
Laura W
@JL: The coach for the blue team is kyoooooooot, JL!
myiq2xu
Hey, did Flacco step out of the end zone before throwing that incompletion?
That’s what I thought, but they never showed a replay.
JL
@Laura W: Watching football isn’t so bad.
Just Some Fuckhead
Love the "Heap" chants.
mcd410x
Um, methinks the Beautiful Game is played with leather balls, too.
"You’re with me, leather."
AkaDad
Jabba the Cat
Punchy
Yup. And got 7 points for all of it. I understand what you’re saying, but giving up only 7 points is the work of the defense.
JL
It’s hard to be Ray Lewis fan. Although he is a talented player his past still haunts him. He was on probation for a year after pleading guilty to obstruction of justice and the NFL didn’t penalize him.
myiq2xu
Kick the damn ball
myiq2xu
Toldja so!
South of I-10
That is a fat fat cat! College football is over and I just can’t get into the NFL, so I am watching a DVR recorded Austin City Limits with Lucinda Williams and Old Crow Medicine Show. I highly recommend it.
Just Some Fuckhead
@JL: Please don’t ever say that again. Ray Lewis paid for his crime and we’ve all moved on, ‘cept for the haters and the folks who think a black man always carries the stigma of a past crime.
Punchy
8+ years later? Are you serious?
Just Some Fuckhead
Fisher killers, that’s what the Ravens are.
Svensker
Dang. Titans lost that game all by they lone selfs.
Downpuppy
I’m about 86% sure that you’ve been had on the cat pic-
its Bride of Tubcat
http://www.tubcat.com/other_cats/parody_1.html
Just Some Fuckhead
On to San Diego!
JL
@Just Some Fuckhead: He has moved on and certainly has done a lot of good things. The color of his skin has nothing to do with it. I always thought that if the NFL could suspend Ricky Williams they could have suspended Lewis. By the way the Ricky Williams suspention was stupid.
Just Some Fuckhead
@JL: The NFL did what they did. That ain’t your call or concern. Expressing regret that a black man wasn’t punished enough stands by itself as practically an institution in America. I ain’t interested in hearing it.
John Cole
This Ray Lewis revisionism is making Sarah Palin envious:
You might ask Mrs. Baker and Mrs. Lollar if they are over it.
Just Some Fuckhead
Yep, Ray Lewis lied to the cops but let’s go ahead and plant the suggestion he’s guilty of murder John. Good one, asshole.
Laura W
@Downpuppy: It’s good you left that 14% open because I may not watch football much these days, but I have spent my time in the cat blogging archives at BJ.
Here is Tyler in 2006.
But you did scare me because if I have to start doubting the veracity of John’s cat blogging posts, I am really moving over to Oprah.com community boards.
Litlebritdifrnt
I have a cat like that, she walks around constantly looking like she is about to give birth to eleventy kittens and yet she is fixed (or the vet charged me for fixing her and lied)
OT but bragging. My DH’s band was in the Governor’s Inaugural Parade today, itty bitty band from a town with a gas station and a stop light (and that’s about it) marching in the Inaugural Parade. I about bust a gut with pride. Best part, the first band out was the 2nd Marine Division Band (my DH’s former band) and when the parade had to take a corner they did the "quarter turn" the only other band in the parade to take the corner that way? My DH’s band. All the other bands sort of straggled round the corner but DH’s band did the perfect "quarter turn" I was so proud!
J. Michael Neal
In my book, if you lie to the cops to protect your friend after he kills someone, that makes you an accessory.
Just Some Fuckhead
I’m sure the cops prolly felt that way too. It prolly has a lot to do with why Lewis copped a plea deal and turned testimony. He was indicted for obstuction of justice and he paid for his crime. He was penalized for his crime by the NFL and he paid for that one too.
Now help me understand why it’s relevant now? Is Ray Lewis still out there crime spreeing? Has he done something since to make us question the wisdom of the police, prosecutors and nfl officials involved in the original deliberations?
If we can figure that out, maybe we’re closer to some uncomfortable truths.
Brick Oven Bill
As a youth, I used to drive around town with my friends, shooting bottle rockets out of my parent’s Honda Civic. It really was fun.
So I can emphasize with Ray speeding off with his friends in the Lincoln Navigator $3000/day rental stretch limo following the murders. Shooting firearms even. That story makes me downright sentimental.
John Cole
@Just Some Fuckhead: I don’t recall calling him a murderer. Could you point out where I did?
Al.l I will say is this- two people who got into a fight with Ray Lewis and two of his drunken buddies are dead, and no one knows what happened to them because Lewis and his lawyers saw to it that no one ever found out.
You can draw your own conclusions about whether or not he is a good guy or has “paid for his crime.”
Bill H
Titans sucked. Three turnovers in red zone (two of which were marginally forced), missed field goal, 12 penalties for 105 yards, and 3-pt loss. And announcers are saying Baltimore is "the team no one wants to play" because they are so good. Based on level of play that was a 34-10 Titans win.
Go Chargers. I want Baltimore to come here and try that nonsense against a real team. Well, no, but I don’t want them to go to Pittsburgh.
passerby
@Litlebritdifrnt:
Brit, praytell what’s DH and what do you mean by "quarter turn"?
I marched in a band in Mardi Gras parades as a kid and we could barely manage to "hold the pivot" as we turned the corners. I can still hear our band teacher, old Mr. Spano, repeating "hold the pivot! hold the pivot!" as we marched around the school yard in practice. The parade routes were typically 5-6 miles long and mostly on the straightaway but we were a veritable mess making the corners. good times
eastriver
If American football players were real men they wouldn’t be wearing pads or helmets, like a bunch of fucking pussies.
Leather balls with lots and lots of padding.
Fucking pussies.
*update*
And Carolina sucks.
passerby
Panthers score on opening drive. C’mon Cardinals, dig in.
passerby
@Bill H:
What announcers? This is overhype. No?
Just Some Fuckhead
@John Cole: Fuck you John. He paid for his crime. Not the one you want him convicted for but the one he was actually convicted for.
demimondian
@Just Some Fuckhead: I guess you haven’t read much J.S. Mill, then. There’s a real difference between sentence and consequences — Lewis has completed his criminal sentence, yes, but there’s no reason to believe that he’s exhausted the consequences of his acts.
Roza Hussein
Like Cardinals, love Larry F. knew he would be amazing
Ray Lewis is a thug
Cat still huge
J. Michael Neal
I’ve never said that I think Ray Lewis should be prosecuted any further. I just think he’s loathesome. I feel the same way about G. Gordon Liddy.
Litlebritdifrnt
@passerby:
DH is "darling husband" or "damn husband" depending on the context :) A "quarter turn" (or square turn) is a classic Marine Corps move to get around a corner, whereas other people will just sort of straggle around the corner the Marines (and other military bands for all I know) hit it head on then when the first line hits the "dead end" they turn, as does each line behind them. It is a very classy and crisp move that no other band in NC does as far as I know.
ChrisB
We might be seeing Jake Delhomme’s evil twin today.
Not good for Panther fans.
Damned at Random
I’ve had fat cats and I’ve had fit cats. They make it 13-18 years and die of something. Kidney disease is the default death in cats- if nothing else gets them, the kidneys go. My vet says they are desert animals and the kidneys work overtime to concentrate urine and conserve water- even where water availaility is unlimited.
Tyler looks like a fine pillow. Ear scratches from Auntie Damned
passerby
@Litlebritdifrnt:
Since this is an NFL thread, I’d like to say the the cardinals have a giant can of whupass opened on their sidelines. I wish the camera crew would get a close up of it.
OT:
Marine bands always march @ MG, but I’m never at a corner. Next time I’m down their I’ll check it out. (They don’t have parades in Chattanooga , oh well.) Not too many cities put on decent parades. They’re a nice community diversion.
TheHatOnMyCat
Okay, my FrankLee is one bigass cat. Big enough that in certain poses, people just stop and go. damn, that is a huge fukkin cat. Twenty three pounds of kitty love.
But the cat in this picture is clearly bigger. Looks a lot like Frank, but Frank has bigger, thicker legs and paws. Stands like a bulldog.
I am not showing Frank this picture, I predict that she will start taking growth hormones when I am not looking.
sus
When I lived in Baltimore, folks would ask me who I thought would win the game. I always replied with "who’s out on bail".
Back in the burgh. Still… not much of a football fan. Don’t watch the stillers either. Just not my thing.
Meanwhile… that is one fat cat. I agreed to catsit for my aunt a few months ago. She was going on a week-long trip. That cat is still here. I’m starting to understand. But… it’s a fine cat. Bigger than my previous cat. Not declawed (as prior cats were), but doesn’t do anything bad. Except jump on me too early in the morning and lick face to wake me. What’s that about?
passerby
My Cajun homey, Jake has a bad case of tunnel vision tonite. Twice. A nice interception. And the Cards smell blood.
ChrisB
Yup, it’s Delhomme’s evil twin and Larry Fitzgerald is fantastic.
tams
being the owner of tyler, allow me to fill you in on a couple of things.
1. he is not overfed.
2. he has never had canned food and all of our cats have a healthy diet of dry food. they get fed in the morning and in the evening.
3. we’ve taken him to the vet and other than having a clear weight problem, his health is rather excellent.
4. he is a sweetheart. every night at bed time, he comes into the bedroom, jumps on me and pets my face with his paw while giving me kisses.
5. if you think we are abusing the cat, well, then go right ahead. i highly doubt cole would put up a picture of a cat who was being abused!
and finally, we have been told that tyler just might be a maine coon cat… they tend to be very large cats.
now, feel free to tell me how wrong i am!
sus
Your cat is swell tams. Tyler is a fat cat…. but looks like a fine cat. no worries.
scruncher
@tams:
your bedtime ritual sounds sweet. My 21-pound cat jumps on the bed and hogs half of it all night.
TheHatOnMyCat
Fitzgerald is probably the most athletic passcatcher in the league right now. A magician.
The Cards can win if they play the whole game. Carolina will come out for the 3rd quarter pissed off and ready to play.
And …
My FrankLee is definitely packing some Maine Coon genetic material, and your cat probably is too. It’s unusual for other breeds to approach their kind of size. In Frank’s case, you can tell by the legs and paws …. just big and wide. Frank has paws big enough to palm a basketball.
Litlebritdifrnt
tams – I think your cat is not only fine but obviously is a very happy cat. As far as I am concerned that is all there is to talk about. Period. End of Story. When I think of all the abused, starving etc., cats out there it does my heart good to see a content, happy cat, who is comfortable with his "ahem" largeness, personally I would much rather see alot of pictures of fat, happy cats than pictures of abused, starving cats. Your cat is precious.
dbrown
So the Titans should have won 30-something to 13 and why didn’t they? Because they are so good they even play against themselves and won… yeah, right. The better team generally (but not always) wins. The Titans lost. The Ravens won. The Red Zone is what real teams score in and the losers walk away and claim they has more yards but lost in points but won with ‘phantom’ points – the ones that just don’t appear on the board – go figure. The next change in fool-ball will be the team with the most phantom points win and then the Titans will be a shoe in.
The Titans are a great team and lost to a better team today: Real score Ravens 13, Titans 10. Try reading the real score and ignore those phantom points and the game will be less aggregating and more fun.
Next week the Ravens may fall; however, they you will not hear "But they won with phantom points.’
Laura W
@tams: I would like to hear the vacuum-like noises that your Bailey makes when she eats. (Assuming she is still with you. I refer to the 2006 post that I linked to above in my effort to clear both Tyler and John’s good names.)
Can you shoot a video and make John post that here for us on tomorrow’s NFL thread, please?
Fwiffo
That’s the funniest cat this side of 4chan.
passerby
Scruncher, check out this Sully Mental Break that ninerdave linked to yesterday. For those of us who sleep with pets, it’s hilarious.
passerby
CatonHat @ 114
This.
"Amazing" is an understatement. "Magician", spot on.
Joel
Entirely possible that road warriors go 4-0 this weekend.
Punchy
Shorter Cole–even though he was convicted of Oof J, I’m sure he’s a murderer. Must be. And 8 years later, I cannot believe he’s not in jail for murder.
scruncher
@passerby:
That’s hilarious. But I swear my cat does not move one inch all night long. I’m the only one tossing and turning all night — in my tiny corner of the bed.
Damned at Random
who woke up the Panthers?
Just Some Fuckhead
Big day for the Rolles.
John Cole
@Punchy: Shorter Punchy- I didn’t really read what Cole wrote.
I will say it again- show me where I called him a murderer. What I said was that two people are dead, they were last alive in a fight with Ray Lewis and two of his buddies, and that Ray Lewis and his lawyers made damned sure no one knows what happened to them.
Just Some Fuckhead
We know what yer saying, John. No surprises there. What’s surprising is that Brick Oven Bill made the point with more subtlety.
Joshua Norton
Maine Coon Cats are huuuuuuge. 30+ pounds is pretty average. But they normally have very large paws so there may be other breeds mixed in. I think he’s a cool cat.
Joel
I hope Carolina keeps that funky 1990’s logo and colors. Do they have a Planet Hollywood in the stadium?
Face
I cannot believe how smooth and easy Zona’s offense looks. Warner is so calm and cool, Fitz making incredible catches, and James surely playing for a new contract.
Zona gunna win this by 3TDs. Take that, no-respect Vegas bookmakers.
Punchy
Let’s play the rhetorical game John’s playing:
"Bush is the worst president. The guy lied, the guy stole, the guy caused untold deaths to innocents. He’s just complete garbage for a human being"
Then he says: Show me where I said I didn’t like Bush!
The obtuseness of your vapid response is stunning. But I’ll still love you in teh morning.
passerby
Ha! Same here.
When it’s real cold, my cat (wants to) sleep on my neck.
Just Some Fuckhead
It’d be nice to see Philly off the Giants so the Cards could get a home game NFC championship.
passerby
The stadium begins to empty.
Well, it’s over for carolina fans. But John, you’ve got 18 more nail-biting hours before kickoff. The Playoffs. It’s good to be here. Right?
Punchy
Wow. Another Delhomme pick. This guy’s a train wreck right now.
Cards over Philly next week. San Diego v. Cards in Supah Bowl. Can feel it.
Larime the Gimp
That cold wind you just felt? Was Hell freezing over.
Who ARE these Cardinals, and can we AZ fans keep them?
John Cole
Shorter Punchy and JSF- “STOP PICKING ON RAY RAY!”
I have not called him a murderer. I have not called for additional prosecution. I have not said he got off light. I have not denied that he paid his due for the crime he was charged with. Done none of that.
All I have said is the plain truth- two people are dead, and we will never know what happened because Ray Lewis and his lawyers saw to it that we never would. Because of that, I am not going to sit around and pretend he is a good guy or hat he deserves anything but my contempt.
And race has nothing to do with this shit, any more than Orenthal the Bus Driving Double Murderer quip from Chris Rock. If Ray Lewis hadn’t been rich and a famous football player, things would have gone down differently. This was about money and power. Ask Mark Chmura.
Just Some Fuckhead
@John Cole: Oh, now it’s on motherfucker. ;)
Thank you for bringing up Mark Chmura as an excellent example of how things go down for white people athletes that fuck up.
Edit: And Mark Chmura was a star tight end, three time probowler, best friend of Brett Favre, big shot in GB, prolly more so than Lewis in Baltimore. Christ, completely forgot about Chmura’s two superbowls.
passerby
I don’t know punchy, both SD an Pitts have had hit-or-miss games this season, it could go either way there.
But Cards? yeah. They’re reeking with win.
Hightower
Face
Is Jake Delhomme color-blind? I’m only half joking.
TheHatOnMyCat
AZ fans are just speechless at what we are seeing tonight.
We knew the team was competitive, but this is an ass kicking.
Damn. Whisenhunt seems to have done one helluva job getting this team ready. Color me impressed.
Just Some Fuckhead
@TheHatOnMyCat: Go Philly!
Punchy
@passerby: Here’s my thought–SD has been playing "win-or-done" games since like week 13 or so. Any loss knocked them out (pretty much), so they’re riding some wicked confidence for over a month. Sproles is just ridunkulous fast.
And I think Worthlessberger’s penchant for concussions may hinder his ability to play his best. We’ll see. God knows my $$ will be on teh Cha’gahs.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Punchy: Worthlessberger. lolz
But honestly, Pittsburgh is just gonna tear San Diego apart. Last time I checked Norbert is still the coach.
Larime the Gimp
@TheHatOnMyCat: No shit. I’m still trying to figure out where the real Cardinals went. This is not the team I’m used to.
gwangung
Given the way the team played in the last few games (outside the Seattle game), I think they would have been happy with a close, competitive game.
Wow.
Adrienne
@Punchy:
You MUST be crazy. My Eagles will stomp the Cards if we make it past the Giants tomorrow. We ain’t Carolina. Week 13. 48-20. Our Defense is sick – we held Peterson to less than 100 yards last week. McNabb is playing with fire in his belly and Marty is stickin with the run. Either way, the Cards should be very afraid regardless of who wins tmrw.
Larime the Gimp
@gwangung: The way they finished made me think, "Yeah. Same old Cardinals. Out in the first round."
Now? I’m in shock. ‘Arizona Cardinals’ and ‘NFC Championship’ are only used in the same sentence in jokes.
Larime the Gimp
@Adrienne: I don’t think the Cards are afraid at all. They aren’t even supposed to be here. Nothing to lose, nothing to fear.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Larime the Gimp: Uh.. they won their division and then beat a lower-seeded visiting playoff opponent. How exactly are they not supposed to be there?
TheHatOnMyCat
Everbody knows that the Cardinal is the stronger, superior bird.
Er, SHUT UP.
Ron
As a Steelers fan I was torn today. On one hand, it’s my deep hatred of the Ravens that made me want to root for the Titans, but I don’t like them much either, and I’d rather try to play Baltimore in Pittsburgh than travel to Nashville, so I think I’m satisfied with the result. Now the Steelers just have to go BEAT the Bolts tomorrow.
Larime the Gimp
@Just Some Fuckhead: They barely finished 9-7. They’re the worst record, regardless of seeding, in the NFC, and until the game against Atlanta were running a drought back to 1947. If you would have put down money on the Cards to make the NFC Championship even 3, 4 weeks ago, you’d have been laughed at.
passerby
JSF
punchy
The stillers are known for smash-mouth football ( as are the Pitt Fans). SD is competent and worthy and I agree about worthlessburger…
BUT,
The game is in Pittsburgh…tips the scale a bit. There will be injuries. Hope it’s a great game.
Adrienne
@Larime: what are you talking about? They sewed up their division weeks ago. They didn’t back their way into the playoffs. That would be us.
Now, they may not be afraid, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be. Both the Eagles and the Giants are downright beastly. Tomorrow’s game is gonna be brutal. NFC East games always are.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Larime the Gimp: Hell, they clinched their division longer ago than that. San Diego was 8-8.
Larime the Gimp
@Adrienne: You and JSF keep saying they won their Division, as if that’s supposed to be impressive. Did you see their Division? Anybody could have done it. Outside their Division, they were crap on grass.
John Cole
@Face: I think maybe just blind.
@Just Some Fuckhead:The Steelers just aren’t that good this year, I don’t think. Our offense has never been in sync. The defense, of course, has been amazing. But the team overall has not been one of our better ones, I don’t think.
I would not be surprised at all if we lose, and if we win, we are close to the spread.
Just Some Fuckhead
Larime, you don’t get a pass. In fact Arizona has everything to lose since this will never happen again and so this is your only ever opportunity to be something other than be the laughingstock of the league. So pressure on, muy amigo.
Larime the Gimp
@Just Some Fuckhead: Nice try. That was pretty funny.
Just Some Fuckhead
@John Cole: Don’t lose faith, my white friend. SD went 8-8 playing KC, Oak, and DEN twice each. Only Arizona had it easier. Pittsburgh will prevail.
Comrade Kevin
@Joshua Norton:
I have a Maine Coon Cat, and he weighs around 11 pounds. When I found out what breed he is, I was worried, but he has stayed regular-cat-sized.
TheHatOnMyCat
@Just Some Fuckhead:
Step back, my fine feathered fuckhead. Hillary Clinton is going to ask the NFL to declare the Cards NFC Champs by acclamation. There will be no game next weekend.
Yes.We.Can.
Just Some Fuckhead
@TheHatOnMyCat: Oh Joyous hallelujahs, our Exalted Queen has blessed us with a miracle! Why were we so blind?? Why??
Adrienne
@ Larime:
I think you are missing the point. You mentioned 3-4 weeks ago noone would have guessed that the Cards would be going to the NFC Championship game. Well, 3-4 weeks ago, they had already locked up their division while the Eagles were playing win or die games from then on out, only 2 weeks or so after having their franchise QB benched in a horrible game against the Ravens. So, more people would have had the Cards there than the Eagles. Hell, they wouldn’t even have had the Eagles in the playoffs at all. We backed in on the last Sunday of the season after a series of events so highly improbable that this die hard Eagles fan didn’t even hold a candle of hope the day before.
Regardless of their record being 9-7, they were in a long time ago and contrary to the way you tell it, they didn’t "barely make it in". As a matter of fact, the record doesn’t tell the whole story because after they won the division, they dropped three (I think) games straight.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Adrienne:
It was the tie that put them over the top.
Adrienne
FTW.
FWIW, I hear she’s been phoning all the superdelegates telling people the Eagles/Giants "CAN’T WIN". But, you ain’t heard that from me.
Adrienne
I know. But that was only after winning 4 of our last five AND having the other teams in the hunt with us all lose on the last Sunday when we whooped up on the Cowgirls. Without that very improbable chain of events, the tie would have been irrelevant and the Eagles would be sitting home watching the playoffs on their rather large plasma/LCD teevees.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Adrienne: No, I’m agreeing with you. When a tie is the reason you clinch, you suck.
TheHatOnMyCat
@Just Some Fuckhead:
It’s not just the tie, it’s the fact that they have been palling around with terrorists.
Adrienne
Hey, you better watch it!!!! We don’t suck, we just had a REALLY rough middle third of the season where we racked up L after L. The last third of the season, we definitely kicked it up 20 notches or so. Post McNabb benching has been a nearly different team – or alternatively, the team they SHOULD have been all season.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Adrienne: No, I don’t mean it that way. I mean, you suck in the way you did everything to lose the fucking div and somehow managed to clinch a playoff space because you sucked so bad in one game, your qb didn’t even understand how a game is won and lost and thereby tied and this is what put you over the top.
demimondian
@TheHatOnMyCat:
Yeah, the socks don’t work, either — and the pinky ring. Eee-ew
Just Some Fuckhead
Know who is implausible for the playoffs? Baltimore. Rookie coach, rookie qb, rebuilding program in progress. Never has a rookie won a playoff game until last week when Baltimore’s rookie qb won. This week he extended the streak and will be the first rookie qb to ever play in a championship game. So there ya go with yer implausibility.
Bill H
@dbrown "So, they won with phantom points."
No, I’m not saying that. I’m saying that when they play a decent team that doesn’t repeatedly stick its collective head up its own ass, they lose.
Adrienne
Didn’t Ben Roethlisberger win his first playoff game as a rookie? I’m pretty sure he was the first.
Point conceded. I’m still shocked about it myself to be honest. I thought we were a lost cause. More on why below:
To add insult to injury, the tie was against one of teh suckiest teams in the league!!! I’d feel better about it if we had fought to a draw against a team like, oh say the Steelers or Giants or even the Ravens. It only could have been worse if the damn tie was to the Lions. The Bengals? Really? I threw up a little in my mouth watching that God awful game.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Adrienne:
Oh, I dunno. I just typed it hoping it was true. I can’t be expected to research everything first. It isn’t fair to hold me to a higher standard than the others.
Adrienne
Those are the breaks…. As one of my fave posters, I expected oh so much more.
//Clutches imaginary pearls//
You’re forgiven:-)
JenJen
I’ll be "in the field" for the Inauguration, and while I don’t want to be any sort of "official" correspondent (who am I, Deborah Norville?), I’d be happy to honor all internet traditions and send in digital photos for you to post.
Apply within.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Adrienne:
I’m particularly fond of people who like me.
Beej
John, that is animal abuse. I’m deadly serious here. This cat is going to suffer some serious liver and kidney problems if he is not put on a medically supervised diet very soon. If a human wants to eat himself/herself into wretched obesity (and I have done so) that’s the human’s problem. If a human feeds his/her cat into that condition, that’s abuse, plain and simple. You may think it’s love, but it’s the same kind of love as the parent who lets the 13 year old daughter go out with the 20 year old guy because, gosh darn it, she wants to. In other words, it’s gross stupidity and dangerous indulgence.
Nik
As a San Diego native and still-resident, GO CHARGERS! Sorry John! If it’s any consolation, Roethlisberger was my FF QB this season…
But even though SD is riding a pretty nice winning streak, we never play well in the cold. It’s "freezing" here right now (almost midnight) at about 60°F.
I’m nervous.
Punchy
Pretty sure the easiest way to beat the Eagles is to impersonate the woeful Redskinz.
As for the Pitty/Deigo game, just watch how skittish Worthlessberger lookz in the pocket. This will be a tell as to whether they win by 1 pt or lose by 16. I sense a huge day from Gates.
Thlayli
@eastriver:
Speaking of "fucking pussies"…
The next time you see Cristiano Ronaldo rolling on the ground screaming in agony because a defender tapped his ankle, keep in mind that he just totalled his Ferrari and walked away unscratched.
***
Frightening thought: after all the talk about the "weak" Western divisions, both the 9-7 Cards and the 8-8 Chargers could theoretically be at home next week.
tams
morning everyone – tyler’s mom is back! he sends his meows and love this morning. thanks to everyone who actually had something positive to say… unlike 181 here who just might call animal services on me because i engage in "gross stupidity and dangerous indulgence" with my big boy!
i’ll send john more pics today of tyler. the other day bp (husband) and i were looking at his kitten pics. his paws were HUGE as a kitten. i think maybe we should have seen this coming.
as my husband once said… "i’d rather be fat and happy than skinny and miserable" tyler once meowed that as well!
GO EAGLES –
Ella in NM
This is for tams, John Cole and anyone else who has a "fat cat".
Please take this with the care, sensitivity and yet urgency with which it is intended: The "healthy diet of dry food" you have been feeding your kitty might be killing him, or at least shortening his lifespan.
Of course you are ABSOLUTELY NOT abusing him: we have all been told to feed our cats dry food and so we do. And I know your vet might not be on board with this (just like so many human doc’s also ignorant of the importance of nutrition in human health) but you need to at least consider what I tell you here and research feline obesity and diabetes.
A fat kitty needs to be gradually switched to a high quality, low carb/high fat and protein diet that comes from canned or home-made food, and has the right amount of calories for their body. The mainstream American pet food industry wants us to think that cats are just like us, fills their pet foods full of fiber, grains and carbs they can’t digest or process, and which actually cause them to put on fat. Traditional dry foods also lead to chronic dehydration in cats, because they must take in a significant amount of their water through their food, and often don’t make up the difference from their water bowls. In the end, our cats on dry or high carb diets get the equivalent of insulin resistance, which at first can lead to obesity and the equivalent of human insulin resistance, full blown diabetes and lethal kidney/bladder and liver disease.
Cats are what scientists call obligate carnivores. (unlike humans and dogs, by the way, which are omnivores). In other words, their gastrointestinal and metabolic systems have evolved over millions of years to eat mostly meat, and get more than half their water from the bodies of their prey. In the wild, scientists estimate a cat would get around 3% of its daily diet from carbs, and many believe they should get no more than 10% of their diet in carbohydrates.
Think about it: they eat birds, mice, frogs, small rabbits–even lizards if you live here in the southwest. No cat I know of, on its own, would try and subsist on "succulent medley of brown rice, sweet potatoes, broccoli and gravy" with some chunks of processed chicken by-products thrown in for good measure.
I know this after spending 6 months caring for my friend’s obese puss while she was doing a stint as a traveling nurse. He came here weighing 25 lbs, and could barely sit up because his front legs wouldn’t comfortably reach the ground in front of him. He regularly peed and pooped all over his own backside, and he had difficulty keeping himself clean. He had a voracious appetite for his expensive, prescription diet food, and while he was a content and affectionate sweetie, I saw right away he needed an intervention.
I did the research (I have a background in pre-med & biology) and not only changed his food, I changed all four of my own cats diets. When he went home 6 months later, he had slowly and safely dropped to 16 pounds, and was extra playful, active and fun. Even though my own cats were not overweight, they all have definitely muscled up, their coats are shiny and full, and they are much more physically active. An added bonus is that they don’t spend the whole day with their faces in the food bowl–they’re satisfied much longer with the extra fat and protein their DNA has been evolved to utilize ( I feed them twice a day).
Right now, I am relying on Authority Brand canned cat food (I get it at Petsmart) with some occasional dry "treats" of Blue Wilderness formula for the two older cats who still can’t seem transition from dry to wet. However, if I had more time or money, there are a lot of other excellent brands and choices out there, including making your own fresh food.
Sorry, but after so many posts here about fat cats, I have just finally had enough with keeping this to myself. Here are some links to some reading good material and about how to find low carb foods:
http://www.catinfo.org/feline_obesity.htm
http://www.felinediabetes.com/faq.htm
Laura W
I started feeding my guys Wysong a decade ago when I discovered it in NM. While they will eat the Geriatrix dry, they abhor the canned meats. All flavors. And all other organic canned meat. They will eat the Authority catfish, but go off of it as soon as I buy a case.
When my two geriatrics die, the two remaining, who are not nearly as picky, the dog (who is very picky), and any new critters will be switched over to a far better diet, as Ella outlines.
Much to my disgust, the geris will only eat 9-Lives crap. Since they are 16 and 17, I see no reason to get all militant on their asses at this point.
tams
Ella – Thanks for all the stellar info… Passing it along to my hubs now…
GO EAGLES
GuyFromOhio
Since the innovation of the retail-ready mass-produced compact disc player, I refuse to watch NFL games with the sound on – I grab a stack of cd’s and just keep plugging them in. The coincidental visuals are often hilarious, with nary a peep from the wretched yakking of the stuffed shirts.
Regular season is classical, but the playoffs are all rock & roll, baby. Put your pokers down, brother, and free yourself.
It does appear that the road to SB XLIII runs through the AFC North. It would be fun if the Chargers made it, but it’s highly unlikely.
2liberal
go Cardinals!!!
And today …. Go Eagles !!
Then we get another home game …
always remember, good defense beats good offense, and vice versa.
Ella in NM
@Laura W:
Neither would–let them eat their favorites at 16 and 17. My goodness they have made it this far, they deserve anything they want, every day of the rest of their lives! : )
Laura W
@Ella in NM: Neglected to mention both are hyperthyroid and doing really well on transdermal tapazole for 2 yrs. I’m very grateful they eat as much as they do, as god-awful as their diet is, since both have lost a lot of weight. They are not even overly-fond of real chicken or ground turkey when I cook it for them, and I’ve not read up enough on the raw meat feeding issue to even speak to it.
Anyway, you inspired me to at least start giving the two younger ones the good organic canned meats and switch them over to the Wysong dry as well. They all thank you. (Well, maybe not, but I do.)
JL
@GuyFromOhio: Did you listen to the announcers during the Florida/Oklahoma game? They were awful!
Ella in NM
@Laura W:
Oooh, I bet that tapazole doesn’t simplify things much!
And thank you for responding–there’s nothing worse than feeling like you’re screaming in the wilderness! (ha ha)
Now, if I can just save Tunch!!!
Adrienne
Well then we should get married….
ERRR, on second thought Mrs. JSF might not warm to that idea. LOLz
Adrienne
Well then we should get married….
ERRR, on second thought Mrs. JSF might not warm to that idea. LOLz
JL
@Ella in NM: Do you think that the same info goes for dogs? I have a friend who is loving her dog to death. Gracie will come over to play with my dog and she huffs and puffs like someone who has smoked two packs a day for forty years.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Adrienne: She can be a little bit of a stick in the mud when it comes to polygamy but she’s a good gal nonetheless.
Laura W
@Ella in NM: John’s teachable. Keep working on him re. Tunch.
I keep forgetting to link to the geris.
They are here right now, in a similar position, but on MY 1/3 of the couch.
Not sure if you went back to the thread the other day in which you nailed Palin as classic narcissistic but I responded over there as well. The guy I mentioned was an EMT-P (savior to humanity, selfless humanitarian, blah blah) and I always think of him as EMT-NPD.
Good, huh?
Laura W
@Just Some Fuckhead: Is your Adrienne gonna cut into my Affirm Allocation?
GuyFromOhio
@JL:
Thankfully, no. There were odd goings-on at the house during that game, plus it was a school night, so I only caught a silent 2nd q, while jumping to CSI during commercials.
Adrienne
Damn it JSF, why’d ya have to go and marry such a party pooper?
Somehow, I think he might be enough man to divide the pie. I’m not trying to step on anyone’s toes.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Laura W: Possible replies:
She means nothing to me. It was a silly football thread, we were all high.
Easy ladies, Fuckhead has a lot of love to give.
Have you girls met? Adrienne thinks yer kinda cute..
…
Laura W
@Just Some Fuckhead:
D.) All of the above.
That’s why we loves you, Fuckhead.
{Big Affirming 3-Way Group Hug}
Ella in NM
@JL:
From what I have read, yes, but somewhat less so than for cats.
Dogs are technically omnivores, but they need a much higher proportion of protein and fat in their diets than say, humans do. But my research says they definitely do NOT manage grains or simple starches (eg., pasta) well, and it can have the same fattening effects as it would in cats. They do need and metabolize nutrition from certain veggies, berries, roots and even nuts. But they primarily need meat for their protein. (Think wolves and even bears.)