You know, with eight years of torture, unnecessary war, and everything else, it’s easy to forge that, in many ways, Americans about the nicest people on earth:
What’s the greatest challenge of traveling on $5 a day?
[….]
When you travel with that kind of money, you are entirely at the mercy of strangers. Because $5 doesn’t get you anywhere. You can’t really do anything.What’s the most stunning act of generosity you’ve received?
I arrived in Indianapolis. I’d met an old lady on the train with her husband, and they put me up in a hotel. But that wasn’t the act. I woke up the next morning and I was chatting with this younger lady who had a 1-year-old son, and it turns out that she lived in Chicago. And she said to me — and this was within the first five minutes, I’m not exaggerating — she said to me, “If you can find your way to Chicago, I will give you the only set of keys to my house. You can stay in my house. I will be back the next day. Leave the keys in the flowerpot, and you can stay in my house. There’s chili in the fridge.” At the end, when she gave me her keys, she then said to me, “So, sorry, what’s your name?”Do you find you get more help from tourists or from locals?
In America, it was primarily locals. And in England. In Europe, it was primarily tourists. American tourists, believe it or not, they saved me so many times, to the point that I would wake up in the morning and I’d be like, “O.K. guys, we’ve gotta find some Americans.”
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
There are in fact many very friendly people in the U.S. The trouble is that the unfriendly ones are probably more often lethal than the unfriendlies in other places.
But srsly, it’s mainly our leaders you have to watch out for.
theturtlemoves
For a really interesting contrast, read the comments associated with that article on the NY Times site. The guy talks about how kind Americans are and the response from the first commenter?
Thanks, Alex Miller on the NY Times Web site. You provide a good balance to the woman from Chicago and assure the rest of the world that despite what this crazy Brit said, Americans are, indeed, assholes.
Jon H
Be kind: if you’re registered on Change.gov, please vote up my two submissions:
Reduce police militarization and SWAT team abuse
and
Require Instant and Average MPG readouts in cars
DougJ
Probably a European reader.
JenJen
I was fortunate enough to have lived in Germany for a few years, and as a naive young American at the time, I was rather struck by the standoffishness of many Europeans, and Germans in particular.
It wasn’t until I’d been there awhile that I learned one opinion of us that many of them share is that we are a superficial lot and that we smile too much.
I remember one friend telling me, "Americans always say ‘how are you’ but they don’t care how you are. They always say ‘I’ll call you’ although they don’t intend to. Why the need to say anything at all?" Fair enough, when you think about it.
When that friend visited me years later on his first US trip, he fell in love with the country, and actually, the people. He was always fascinated when stranger after stranger, without fail, would notice his accent and ask him, "So, where are you from?" and then would engage him in a very long discussion about his country. "A European would never do that," he said. "Of course they would also never ask you what your impression of their country is, but Americans seem to be very concerned about that." I always thought that was a very lucid observation. But, in the end, he left here saying, "America has the friendliest, most approachable natives on the planet. They are far more sincere than I ever realized."
The only thing that freaked him out while here were the various pro-life billboards and the Touchdown Jesus of I-75 I purposefully drove him past. "What in the holy living fuck!" he exclaimed. Auf Deutsch, natürlich.
Josh Hueco
All together now, If you haven’t done anything wrong you have nothing to worrmmpphhh….
toujoursdan
I dunno how one can compare these things.
Personally, I backpacked in the U.S., Africa and all over the south Pacific. I still south Pacific islanders (and Rarotongans in particular) are the friendliest, most honest, helpful and hospitable people on earth.
There is no comparison.
That’s just one Canadian’s opinion. YMMV.
chrome agnomen
it’s a shame we can’t be so kind to other americans. to amend that, though, we seem to be a gracious and generous people in most face-to-face encounters; it’s the anonymous virtual meetings that seem to bring out the worst.
DougJ
Yes, I can believe that.
JGabriel
Khan is dead.
Mr. Roarke has left on da plane, da plane, and will fulfill our fantasies no more.
.
The Moar You Know
@chrome agnomen: Screw you, jerk.
scarshapedstar
As a person whose primary means of transportation is a bicycle, I would like to amend this to reflect that Atlanta drivers are about the meanest people on earth.
djork
I’ve been to Russia a few times, once as an exchange student and then back to visit. When I first went to Russia, I was made as an American almost instantly. My offenses? Smiling on the Metro and making eye contact with people.
Let me tell you, Russians don’t smile in public, ever. I asked one of my Russian friends why and his response was, "Would you be smiling if you lived here?"
He had a point. It was a great place to visit and I hope to go back one day, but only if I can leave again.
theturtlemoves
@toujoursdan: How sparsely populated are those islands? A wild theory, completed unsupported by evidence, might be that the less visitors a place gets, the more jazzed they are to see anyone who they haven’t known their whole lives. Could probably test that by wandering aimlessly across North Dakota or something, but then I’d have to wander across North Dakota…
Jon H
@chrome agnomen:
" it’s the anonymous virtual meetings that seem to bring out the worst."
Shitcock!
DougJ
@jgabriel
Would any other country have embraced Ricardo Montalban the way we have?
satby
Americans are indeed (on the whole) friendly, generous, and helpful; another reason why we should all be outraged at the way the soon-to-be-gone administration betrayed us all.
Everything they did was based on appealing to the worst of human instincts instead of the best we had to offer. And they diminished us as a nation in so many ways we may never recover.
Joshua Norton
Kind of like how I feel about Los Angeles.
jibeaux
@toujoursdan:
You’re just jealous because everyone forgets about Canadians.
Zifnab
Fix’d. The joke is that drivers in Houston and Austin are all jerks who can’t drive, but only the Houstonians know it.
r.h.
I’d like to at least partially back up toujoursdan. I’ve never been to any other South Pacific nations, but I lived in Fiji (in the biggest city, not a beach/resort area) for several months– and Fijians are by far the nicest, most friendly and generous people of any country I’ve been to.
Indylib
OT Our President Elect wrote his daughters a letter.
The Other Steve
@Jon H:
Don’t allow Iraq war vets to be police officers. It was the Vietnam vets who were high on adrenaline who created SWAT.
The Other Steve
@djork:
Russians also have a very dry sense of humor, especially self-deprecating.
Russians don’t even smile when you take their photograph. You might get a Mono Lisa, sort of half smile, but nothing more than that.
And you know what? I think that’s great! Americans smile too god damned much, and it’s so bloody fake!
CJ
@Josh Hueco: I will grant that I haven’t read the opinion yet, but from what I have read, the crux of the matter is that the raid was based on a good faith error on the part of the police. This begs the question of how often "errors" will happen in the future, but frankly, this doesn’t seem to be that big a deal. It isn’t anywhere as egregious as they small town mayor that had his dogs shot on the marijuana bust.
CJ
smiley
@JenJen:
As with all stereotypes, those about Americans are interesting. I knew a woman from , shall we say south Europe, some years ago who thought all Americans were cold and unemotional. She learned otherwise.
The Other Steve
@JenJen:
I thought that was only a Minnesota thing. Are you sure about this? It’s the very definition of Minnesota Nice.
I think this difference has to do with the size of the city and whether or not it’s a tourist destination. Cities which are used to visitors tend to ignore them. True in America or Europe.
kay
@Jon H:
I voted, and I had to register to do it. We have the MAN unit here. Multi-Area Narcotics Task Force.
They’re completely insane and out of control.
The Other Steve
@theturtlemoves:
I guess my feeling is that someone running around pretending to slum it and living off other peoples kindness when he could be out working and taking care of himself is a repulsive asshole.
So I agree with Alex Miller and yourself. :-)
Then again, I don’t like to smile in public.
Dracula
From my experience, if you have an accent, rural folk will either love you or hate you. There’s no middle. They’re either fascinated (in a good way) by your accent, your "different-ness", and the way you act/dress, or they’re angry that "ferriners" are in the country, taking over their
shitholequaint town. It’s been proven that if your first act is to stop by the local bar and start buying the locals rounds of beer, they’re more likely to embrace you.Zifnab
@Dracula:
At which point you totally suck their blood!
smiley
Me either. It tends to cause car crashes because it’s so awesome.
Josh Hueco
@CJ:
I get what you’re saying, but my problem is is that making an exception for so-called good faith errors now makes it easier to in the future permit errors of not so good faith. Especially considering the conservative orientation of this court.
R-Jud
@The Other Steve:
This. As an American living in the UK, I get a lot more attention for my accent in the village I live in, and none in the nearby city. Similarly, when my husband and I go to the US, he is an object of curiosity in the Poconos where my parents live– "the British guy!", but just "a British guy" in NYC or Chicago.
OT: From the Ohio Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives to Craigslist, it’s hard out here for a pimp:
Fern
@The Other Steve:
Don’t let them be corrections officers either.
theturtlemoves
@The Other Steve: I took it as him doing something of an experiment in cultural anthropology. Only without the condescending, "Look at the topless natives" stuff that sometimes comes with cultural anthropology. Sort of like people watching in a mall. Of course, since it was being filmed for a TV series, I have to assume that the large camera crew may have had an impact on people’s reactions to him. Just a little.
As to never smiling. Ever seen the Dalai Lama? Dude smiles all the time. What a dick that guy is, huh? Amirite? You mean he’s actually happy most of the time? Huh. Weird.
maxbaer (not the original)
@JGabriel:
Number six has left the Village, as well. Bad day in Hollywood.
J.D. Rhoades
One of the most fun and most informative classes I took in college was "Conversational French," which the professor took literally…it mostly consisted of sitting around and chatting. Sometimes we snuck in wine. The professor was from Lyons, and he clued us in on a couple of things about France and how to get along there:
1) The French really don’t trust people who smile too much and especially those who smile at strangers. They think you’re either a con artist or a halfwit.
2. The image most people have of the French as snobby and rude (according to him) comes from the fact that most Americans only deal with the Parisians. "We can’t stand them either," he admitted.
3. The phrase that unlocks doors: "Excusez-moi de vous deranger, Monsieur (or Madame) mais j’ai une probleme". (Excuse me for bothering you, but I have a problem.) A polite request for help, along with an apology for taking up their time, apparently does wonders. Looking forward to checking it out next summer.
You know, you may have something there.
Comrade Dread
I think Americans are generally nice.
It’s our leaders that are complete wankers.
As to why nice people elect wankers, well, that’s probably the topic for a Poly Sci thesis.
ribber
The thing that made it work for the author is that he is British presumably considering how often he writes about costs in pounds. Americans in the US will lend a hand to a guy with a British accent more readily than fellow Americans because he is unique and we admire British accents. American backpackers abroad will lend a hand to a British guy because America backpackers abroad are a friendly subset of Americans as a whole. If he had a Spanish accent, I wonder how things would have differed.
Zuzu's Petals
@scarshapedstar:
When I visited the DC/Arlington/Baltimore area, I couldn’t get over that southern friendliness. Then I got on the road. OMG, the worst ever !
ricky
Actually it was Karl Rove’s theory of electing Bush.
Johnny Pez
I suddenly have this image in my mind of Ricardo Montalban and Patrick McGoohan swapping shows, so you’ve got Mr. Roark welcoming people to the Village and Number Six plotting to escape from Fantasy Island.
Punchy
Dracula’s axiom also werks well with co-edz and college bars. And cougars in niteclubz. Saucy is the new sexy.
demimondian
@Johnny Pez: Um..yeah.
I’d be interested in what Mr. Rourke would do with the final installment of the series. Have Tattoo standing around saying "Boss! Boss! Ze Bombs! Ze Bombs!"
harlana pepper
It’s okay. I’m not asking to be cheered up by stories of nutty women handing out their house keys to complete strangers. I can handle the fact that we suck, I watched it all happen. I’m not real happy about it and the people who (s)elected the asswipes in charge totally deserve to feel like shit. I don’t. But being the dicks they are, they feel just fine while I sit over here and feel like total shit just for being an American because of what they’ve done. But I don’t need to be cheered up because it’s going to be a bad scene for a really, really long time. Thanks, pantloads.
J. Michael Neal
Who?
TenguPhule
Yes, so much military propaganda that Americans are nice people, nobody believes its true anymore.
kenny
Well there could be a no of reasons this chap thinks this.
1. When he’s in the states he’ll clearly be a foreign visitor who speaks the local language, which always makes people more kindly disposed to you.
2. In the UK he’ll clearly be a local. who is on the mooch. Which will put a lot of people off.
3. In europe , he doesn’t apparently speak any of the languages so now he’s a foreign moocher who doesn’t even speak the local language which again the locals might not find too endearing……
On his web page he remarks of his trip across the channel to france :
YellowJournalism
Anyone else creeped out by the part where the woman with a one year old child gives a stranger her keys without even knowing his name?
Friendly and stupid are two very, very different things.
Martin
He brought us Corinthian leather. We were a lost and backward country until then.
Story:
My grandmother worked at a university when I was little and always felt bad that the exchange students had no family to go to during American holidays, and often couldn’t afford to visit their own family during major holidays when the other students took off. So she would round them all up and bring them to her house for Thanksgiving and Christmas and such. If they got kicked out of the dorm over winter break, she’d let them stay at her house. For years after they got out of college, they’d come and visit her when they came to the US. They’d come with their new husbands/wives, they’d come with their kids. They’d sleep on the sofa and cook dinner and do the dishes. There was always someone from Germany, or Korea, or Africa camping in the living room when I would come and visit – sometimes several people. She took care of anyone that came within range as if they were her own kids.
When she later took a job on Semester at Sea, they’d meet her at the port and take her and a bunch of U.S. students around to see the sights. Pretty much every port had someone waiting that she knew.
Friendliness works both ways, but you have to export it without condition.
tom p
As one who has hitch hiked all over the US, I can say that I always found a friendly face where ever I went (tho sometimes I had to wait more than a few hours). And I can unequivocally say that the south is the friendliest of them all (yes I am white, tho on a certain level, I don’t think it would have mattered) The gestures of kindness to a stranger cross all boundaries.
That said, Mexico beats the US. How many times have I been invited into somebodies home because I needed a dry place to sleep down there? It happens without a thought, "I have this, you need that… Come on in." And then they feed you. Somewhere in a high mountain village, where beans and rice come at a high price….
satby
@YellowJournalism:
I’m from Chicago (in the city itself, not a suburb) and had 27 exchange students and/or foreign visitors, a couple of throw away homeless teens, and various people living and wandering in and out of my unlocked house for almost 20 years. Never had a problem.
Moved to the nice, safe, white-bread "real America" and the house gets shot up by paintballs and the mailboxes down my road get blown up in the first 6 months.
I miss my city.
tom p
Martin… indeed. I love those kinds of stories and I live for them.
YJ: not at all… freindly and stupid are indeed different things. Can you tell the difference?
Here’s an exercise for you: try finding a place to sleep in a town where you can not even speak the language (or dialect if you like)… and that is all you want. It is enlightening.
ps: dougj, thanx for this thread
tom p
JD: Down in Mexico (and Spain too) the phrase is "Lociento, mi no hablo mucho espanol…" which I always loosley translated as "Please forgive me, I am just a stupid gringo who can’t even speak your language, please be patient with me while I slaughter your native tongue in an effort to be understood…"
And they always forgave me, and helped me, and even sheltered me and fed me when the times called for it.
katherine
@J.D. Rhoades:
I tend to smile say hello to people. As a blond female on a business trip to the middle east, this lead to some awkward situations. Finally, a co-worker advised that because I made eye contact and smiled, I was mistaken for a prostitute. Lesson learned.
Birdzilla
hey whats ever become of WELCOME WAGON?
MNPundit
Hmm I wonder how his experience would have gone if he wasn’t white and British.
R-Jud
@ribber: (and others)
Or if he were brown. Mr Jud got pulled over for speeding on I-81 last time out. He did not have his license on him (Brits aren’t required to take them everywhere they go in the UK). After some panic he discovered the rental car agreement that had his license number and details on it. The troopers were verging on hostile but finally decided to let him off with a warning because "It’s not like you’re from a country that causes us any trouble."
If he had been British but of Pakistani descent I think it would have been a very different story.
Michael D.
Fixed.
Stranger
I really hate it when I meet someone who refuses to smile. I think it’s rude & makes me think the person is insecure. Or else they think they’re better than everyone else and will only dish out a smile if a person jumps through enough hoops to reach their heart. Another problem may be that this person is simply miserable within him or herself & cannot understand why everyone else is so damn happy! I say if you meet a friendly, smiling person why not flash ’em some pearly whites. Will it break your face?
I believe it’s important to be kind to strangers, especially those who are foreigners. It’s scary being in a foreign country & it makes a person feel a lot better if they know someone may help them out in a time of need. I meet a lot of people passing through where I work, and many of them are lost needing help or directions. It doesn’t hurt me a bit to smile, be kind & help them out. It almost seems the more I help people, the more time I actually have, or maybe I’m imagining that. It just seems that way. I certainly have a very easy life.
btw, i’m american for whatever it’s worth. I’ve never been to a foreign country so I don’t know how others behave in other countries. I’ve met a few new yorkers in my life & they were all hateful as hell. If they all act like that I’m guessing it’s a real unbearable shit hole.