Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

Everybody saw this coming.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

After roe, women are no longer free.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

… pundit janitors mopping up after the GOP

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

“Squeaker” McCarthy

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

I was promised a recession.

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71Comments

  2. 2.

    Incertus

    Flight of the Conchords is back, and this might be their funniest song yet. That’s good news, right?

    Oh, and I’ve got a new (non-paying) gig. I’m the new poetry editor of The Rumpus, so if y’all know anyone looking to publish reviews of poetry or write some criticism, drop me a line.

  3. 3.

    jibeaux

    I’m going on vacation to Puerto Rico, I’m expecting a new niece or nephew any day now, I have two hilarious kids, I’m still employed, and by paying a couple of bills at the very last minute I can make my money last until payday.

  4. 4.

    jharp

    Just finished shoveling my driveway. A ten inch snow and a hell of a lot of work. 3 hours for my son and myself.

    Great workout though. I’ll sleep well tonight.

  5. 5.

    amorphous

    Here’s good news: mrs amorphous will be delivering our first child (a girl) in four months.

    Bad news: the world she’ll be coming into is pretty much fucked, so that’s kind of a damper.

  6. 6.

    Michael D.

    My company is hiring! I’m getting an impressive tax refund (which means I am stupid enough to let the government have my money when I should have invested it myself) and I was told on our company’s results call a couple days ago that bonuses and merit pay will be about the same as last year (which is really good.)

    I wish I could tell you where I work. I really do work for an awesome company with great pay and benefits.

  7. 7.

    shortstop

    I had leftover paella for lunch, I just got a whopping check from a client, I’m going to the Goodman Theatre tonight and another neighbor in our building promised to shovel the walks when he gets home from work.

  9. 9.

    ricky

    Got an e-mail from my sister with links to a web site dedicated to a search for a flight crew lost during WWII. It contained information about my 85 year old uncle, shot down and rescued over Yap Island in 1944. The press account mentioned he worked for the Sinclair Oil Refinery before going to Navy flight school. That made him a second generation refinery worker. My mother was born in Norco, La., a town named after its major employer, the New Orleans Refining Co. My uncle survived the war and got his degree from the University of Texas thanks to the GI Bill.

    As horrible as WW II was, it still strikes me that the investment made in education after the war is as responsible for the economic boom and expansion of the middle class as anything else we have done.

  16. 16.

    Montysano

    Anyone ever tried Irish Butter? It’s like butter². Elvis would have been gone 10 years earlier if he’d had Irish Butter.

  17. 17.

    tom p

    I made it thru the past 2 days of ice and snow w/o wrecking either of my vehicles… I never left the house. (last year I rolled my van 1/2 mile from home after negotiating 60 miles of insanity)

    ps: my birds are happy… lots of feed.

  18. 18.

    Incertus

    @pharniel: It probably could. But on the plus side, have you seen the operatic version of The Wrath of Khan that Robot Chicken did? If you’re a trek geek, you will love it. It was on youtube last I saw.

  19. 19.

    SGEW

    Good news, good news . . . hmmm . . . .

    1) How about Mary De Rosa being appointed Deputy Counsel to the President for National Security Affairs and Legal Adviser to the National Security Council? Pretty f’ing good news, if you ask me.

    2) The "missile shield" in Poland is now a dead letter issue.

    3) My kitteh is even more astonishingly cute than I could ever imagine, and is getting cuter by the day. Good news for me!

    4) And, finally, the Watchmen movie might actually NOT SUCK! Really! Maybe! Possibly!

  21. 21.

    JenJen

    @Montysano:

    Danish butter is every bit as delectable as Irish butter. I don’t know how they do it, but I adore them for it.

    And unsalted! Mmmmm. If it weren’t for the ice storm I’d go treat myself.

  22. 22.

    gex

    Obama is POTUS. Sounds like old news. But really, isn’t every day that he’s in charge instead of Bush or McCain a really good day, no matter what else is going on?

  23. 23.

    shortstop

    obama is still president.
    bush still isn’t.

    I like to say this to myself every hour or so. I’m sure after seven or eight years I’ll taper off.

  27. 27.

    demkat620

    Well the tan man is on the TV talking again. I really like it when he cries.

    He claims the GOP has a plan. Let me take a wild guess here, tax cuts? Naw, they’d never suggest that.

  28. 28.

    renegademom3

    My oldest son pulled his math grade up from an "F" to a "B", my middle son is the star of his basketball team, my daughter continues to be the queen of the world, and I am devoting more and more time to my life’s passion…….

  30. 30.

    Michael D.

    @renegademom3: You obviously spend a lot of time with your kids and take a lot of interest in what they do.

    Good for you!! I have so much respect for parents who have great kids.

    Sometimes you luck out and just have a great kid. Most time, making a kid awesome takes a lot of work and involvement!

  31. 31.

    greynoldsct00

    "Anyone ever tried Irish Butter? It’s like butter². Elvis would have been gone 10 years earlier if he’d had Irish Butter."

    Yes, Kerrygold! It’s wonderful guilty pleasure

  32. 32.

    Tsulagi

    @amorphous:
    I think you got the good news and bad news switched around.

    The delivery? Let me tell you, hormones will fly. While waiting for her to fully dilate to accommodate our 10lb 2oz. first, I fully expected to see all 5’3” of her propel herself out of that bed to rip out my throat. I was cussed in two languages.

    The good news comes after that. Kids are great.

    Congratulations.

  33. 33.

    John Cole

    And, finally, the Watchmen movie might actually NOT SUCK!

    Isn’t the guy who made 300 making that? if so, it is guaranteed to suck, and suck hard. It may bring some fun HoYay, though, which will make it even funnier to mock Red State when they try to apply the principles as laid out in the Watchmen to current events.

  34. 34.

    former capitalist

    @renegademom3: Congrats on your kids. I wish mine were closer to home so I could love them even more.

    And here’s the best news: pitchers and catchers report Feb. 14th.

  35. 35.

    R-Jud

    I have discovered that letting a purring cat sit on me stops Braxton-Hicks contractions. It’s more effective if I use the heavier cat. An agent wants to see the rest of my manuscript, our snowdrops bloomed today, and Mr. Jud finally finished tiling the bathroom.

    @amorphous– your wife too, huh? I’m due around Valentine’s Day. The looks on people’s faces when I turn up at the gym in the morning are priceless.

  36. 36.

    Chinn Romney

    The Boston Bruins, Celtics, Red Sox, and Patriots are all going to rock your world this year. Is it any wonder that we’re the most obnoxious fans in the world? It’s hard to be humble in the midst all these glittering trophies. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure, Cole can puff up his sunken chest once in a while when the NFL entry from the one horse town makes it’s semi-regular appearance in the SB, but it pales in comparison to what’s going on up here in God’s Country. Ain’t that a Good News, Good News!

  39. 39.

    Bey

    @greynoldsct00: Reminds me of a classic joke:

    Old couple gets creamed in a car wreck and go to heaven. St Peter meets them and shows them around – gourmet food every meal, gorgeous countryside, fabulous golf courses, etc etc. Husband gets progressively more and more crabby. Finally snaps to his wife: "I could have been here 10 years ago if you hadn’t made me eat all those damned bran muffins!"

    Good news: I have a job and a life I like, my son and family are happy and healthy. My dad is 79 and still goes on 20 mile bike rides. The world’s most adorable canine will be thrilled to see me when I get home tonight. The grownups are in charge again.

  40. 40.

    SGEW

    Isn’t the guy who made 300 making that?

    Hey, I thought you said "GOOD NEWS ONLY" on this thread!

    Let me have my moment of blinkered hope.

  42. 42.

    J. Michael Neal

    Good news? Eddie is doing very well. It’s going to take months for his fur to grow back, but he’s getting around pretty well. He’s eating, and is mostly back to normal. He’s doing a hell of a lot better than I would be three weeks after you amputated one of my legs.

  43. 43.

    demkat620

    @John Cole:
    I thought that 300 movie was hilariously campy. And I usually like the over the top violent stuff, Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill, the Matrix, The Dark Knight. I love that shit. But that 300 was just silly.

  44. 44.

    Face

    Only 11 months ‘til Christmas.

    so only 5 months until we see the decorations for sale in Walmart.

  45. 45.

    Nicole

    I fell and scraped up my hands while running to catch a train (not the good news) and the LIRR doesn’t put first aid kits on the trains (also not the good news). The conductor walked up and down the train and asked every single passenger if he or she had band aids for me until he found a woman who did. She made sure I took extras "just in case." Some people do care about complete strangers! (very good news)

  48. 48.

    Cyrus

    They got the lag fixed in WoW. Or improved it a lot, at least. My guild will probably kill Sapphiron for the first time this week, maybe even Kel’Thuzad, who knows.

  49. 49.

    Mike in NC

    Watchmen movie might actually NOT SUCK!

    Granted, "300" was drivel but we saw the preview for "Watchmen" in the theater yesterday and it might actually not suck all that much. Just read the book a few months ago and it really seemed to follow the story line.

  50. 50.

    amorphous

    @Tsulagi:

    While waiting for her to fully dilate to accommodate our 10lb 2oz. first

    So glad to not actually give birth to said baby.

  51. 51.

    J. Michael Neal

    Watchmen looks fabulous. They captured the visual and auditory feel perfectly. That says nothing about whether it will be good as a whole, but it is slightly encouraging.

    I liked 300. That’s surprising, because I usually don’t like stylized fighting movies. There was something about it that appealed to me, and I don’t quite know what it was. Don’t confuse it for anything related to reality, though. Honestly, the Athenians won the war with its navy, in a battle that was every bit as miraculous as Thermopylae.

  53. 53.

    Roonieroo

    Hmm..good news….it’s a beautiful day in Austin, Texas. We are very, very close to no longer having anymore credit card debt at all.

    I also still giggle like an idiot everytime someone on the news says "President Obama".

  54. 54.

    Deborah

    Like G Reynolds at 15, except in my case it means I’ll be able to leave the house tomorrow. And my husband’s company (where he still has a job, and probably is safe for at least another few months even though it’s a high tech startup) told everyone to work from home, so he did the shoveling, including the final superheavy stuff, sparing my bad shoulder. Which is improving with PT.

    Geithner killed Bank of America’s attempt to buy a corporate jet with their bailout money. Before it was even a big news story. Maybe he’ll take out the spa-goers at AIG.

    There are enough Dems in congress to pass something, no matter how strongly the Rs hyperventilate about their newfound fondness for never running deficits.

    This PETA ad will not run during the SuperBowl, sparing innocent vegetarians everywhere from being ribbed about having hot sex with asparagus.

  55. 55.

    JL

    After entertaining company, life is getting back to normal. I’ve been reading Mark Zandi’s book Financial Shock which is quite good.
    Company brought a big dog to play with the 18 lb mutt. The dog looks like a cross between a lab and a german shepherd and the mutt had him cowering. Anyway yesterday we went out without dogs and when we returned the door between the garage and hall was locked. Fortunately I had a house key on me besides the garage door opener. Poor dog was trying to escape and locked the door by mistake.

  57. 57.

    JGabriel

    J. Michael Neal:

    I liked 300. That’s surprising, because I usually don’t like stylized fighting movies. There was something about it that appealed to me, and I don’t quite know what it was.

    The red capes, the black leather briefs, and the repressed but flagrant homoeroticism?

    .

  58. 58.

    Josh Hueco

    We didn’t have as much ice on the roads here in Central Texas as originally feared. I also made a delicious black bean and crimini mushroom soup. But I’ll probably use beef broth instead of veggie next batch.

  60. 60.

    flywheelgrinding

    Went by Reuben’s last night for some Monopolowa and some olives.

    When I checked into what MacAllan was going for, I found a special: two 10-year-old Laphroaigs for $70.

    I had to do it.

  61. 61.

    Skepticat

    I have a big, white, purring cat keeping my lap warm and a big Maine coon cat leaning on my shoulder waiting his turn. And even though I put too much molasses in the gingersnaps, they’re good. And after six or so inches of snow, the sleet doesn’t seem too heavy (yet). And I finished mudding the drywall so I can paint it pretty soon. And after almost three months I finally got my hair cut and no longer scare small children quite so much.

  62. 62.

    shortstop

    So glad to not actually give birth to said baby.

    Are you going to give birth to your own, though? How exactly are you managing that, because I’m thinking a lot of women are going to be interested in the details.

  64. 64.

    Chris Johnson

    I was still able to update my web comic today which makes some ungodly number of daily updates without fail (today was #164 and I went daily over 100 strips ago), I am turning it into anthropomorphic faggotry and whores and enjoying it-

    And I have shoveled out my driveway :)

    And, I made a good big sale in my audio plugin business which hasn’t turned into an evil chargeback yet.

    And what has been said about Obama’s still president and Bush is still not.

    AND my own ruthless angle on that: you know that he’s taking on JFK-like proportions, complete with charisma and ability to get stuff done- which means that even if somebody manages to kill him off, even IF, it’s too late. People would be doing things ‘for Obama’ for a friggin’ century. It would be the ultimate liberal dogwhistle like 9/11 for a Republican. Best they should leave him alone if they DON’T want Obama setting the tone for America for the next hundred years.

  65. 65.

    tom p

    You obviously spend a lot of time with your kids and take a lot of interest in what they do.
    Good for you!! I have so much respect for parents who have great kids.
    Sometimes you luck out and just have a great kid. Most time, making a kid awesome takes a lot of work and involvement!

    Seconded… but I feel the need to remind all that some times good kids do bad things, and that is when a good parent is needed even more.

    Some years back my 2nd son ended up on probation (juvenile), kicked out of school, etc etc. I remember one group counseling session (actually several) where he tore me a whole new a**hole for everything that was f*cked up in his life: Our divorce, his mother’s drinking and drugging, her new husbands beating her up on a weekly basis, and a whole lot more, with such vehement hate for me inflected in every word that crossed his lips…

    When he was done I said only, "I don’t care how much you hate me, I am never going away. No matter how much you try to push me away, I will always be here for you. I will never give up on you."

    Less than a year later his mother went to prison and he was forced to live with me. During her time in prison, (he finally reached the conditions of his probation while he was with me and and was released) he told me time and again that when she got out, he would go back to live with her… But when she did, he didn’t.

    Last June he finally graduated from high school (private, no public school would take him). He got an award. Not for academic excellence, but for being "The Student Least Likely to Graduate". NOBODY thought he would make it.

    He is doing well now, has a job, living on his own (2wks after he graduated he moved out)(did I do something right? or what?) and with a few bumps and bruises is making his own way (has never asked me for money). He wants to be a Chef… it is a dream… life is all about dreams. I only hope he let’s me help him towards his.

    In the meanwhile, the fact that he has a dream, is my greatest accomplishment in life.

  66. 66.

    Conservatively Liberal

    Last night I transferred the last of my databases and apps to my new server, brought it up online and took the two old systems it replaces down. It all went without a hitch and my ‘community’ didn’t even notice the change until I told them about it.

    Nothing better than rolling out a new server and it goes off without a hitch. That’s good news to me!

  67. 67.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    @Montysano:

    Kerrygold is the food of the gods, and when spread liberally onto hot toasted crumpets the resulting rivers of ooze down one’s chin is the best workout a tongue can get to be honest.

  68. 68.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    My first daffodil will probably open this weekend, right now it is a tightly closed bud but the paper casing has popped and the head is nodding as it will when open.

    I watched a flock of Canada Geese feeding on an abandoned lot by the water today, they are overwintering here, which of course makes me feel good.

    It was 68 degrees here in Eastern NC today.

    The GOS (orange cat) Arnamade decided, after being released from the bedroom, to stay, he greeted me at the front door when I got home from work this evening, and stretched out his head for a scritch. He sleeps in the garage at night, rather than come into the house, but he is home.

    This month, about 11 years after DH graduating from ECU, we will pay off his final student loan.

    Barack Hussein Obama is President. I cannot stop staying that.

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