Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

You cannot love your country only when you win.

If you thought you’d already seen people saying the stupidest things possible on the internet, prepare yourselves.

Consistently wrong since 2002

Pelosi: “He either is stupid, or he thinks the rest of us are.” Why not both?

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

‘Museums aren’t America’s attic for its racist shit.’

Fear or fury? The choice is ours.

This fight is for everything.

The low info voters probably won’t even notice or remember by their next lap around the goldfish bowl.

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

Sadly, media malpractice has become standard practice.

This must be what justice looks like, not vengeful, just peaceful exuberance.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

My right to basic bodily autonomy is not on the table. that’s the new deal.

The real work of an opposition party is to oppose.

The words do not have to be perfect.

Baby steps, because the Republican Party is full of angry babies.

The Giant Orange Man Baby is having a bad day.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

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Unspoofable

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His words were not quite as elegant as earlier rallying cries, such as “Shoot if you must this old gray head,” or Hale’s “I only regret that I have but one life to give my country,” or even the most recent ‘NoBAMA‘ from the PUMA crowd, but Blagojevich showed up to his impeachment to defend himself:

“I’m here to appeal to you, to your sense of fairness, your sense of responsibility, and to the truth,” Blagojevich said in a closing address that lasted less than an hour.

It was the first time he had appeared at the impeachment trial, which began Monday.

“I’m asking you to acquit me and give me a chance to show my innocence,” he said. “And if you’re not comfortable with an acquittal, then extend this process, and get more evidence, if you can get it, to show that I did something wrong or give me a chance to bring my evidence in.”

He then left the chambers without answering any questions or doing anything to prove his innocence.

Reader Interactions

52Comments

  2. 2.

    Warren Terra

    You didn’t mention my favorite part

    Blago is taking particular pride in his decision to circumvent the legislative process during his first term in order to help Illinoisans get prescription drugs from Canada, teaming up with governors from other states. Blago pointed out how national Democratic leaders like Rahm Emanuel have actively promoted this issue.
    So if you’re going to throw him out of office, Blago argued, "let’s demand that President Obama fire Rahm Emanuel, because Rahm Emanuel is the one who gave me this idea."

    So now Blago is saying that not only did he do nothing impeachable, but that anyone who ever agreed with Blago on anything, including fairly uncontroversial issues no-one is criticizing, should be persecuted similarly to Blago, because those issues must be the real source of Blago’s problems.
    It’s a good thing I’m not in public office; I made the bold decision to eat cereal for breakfast this morning, and it’s quite possible this was the same choice Blago made; by his logic I should therefore be fired.

  4. 4.

    jibeaux

    While we’re on the topic of "Blago" and "unspoofable", I would most definitely face further abuse if I linked to it twice, but let’s just say if you went to youtube or teh google and searched for his 2002 radio commercial, you would get an extremely on-topic result…

  5. 5.

    Jen R

    My favorite was the rambling anecdote about the times John Warner asked Blagojevich to get him coffee.

    I can’t tell if he isn’t even trying anymore, or if this is him trying.

  7. 7.

    jake 4 that 1

    So now Blago is saying that not only did he do nothing impeachable, but that anyone who ever agreed with Blago on anything should be similarly persecuted.

    Yup. But at least he didn’t accuse Obama of palling around with terrorists.

  8. 8.

    Jen R

    @jake 4 that 1:

    Urgent hairdressers appointment?

    He had to get back to Chicago before he was removed from office and therefore was no longer entitled to use a state plane.

    No, really.

  10. 10.

    jibeaux

    Also, I stand corrected when I said "Chewbacca defense". This appears to be a variation on the Chewbacca defense. Possibly some sort of more obscure Wookiee defense that someone geekier than I would know. And I’m pretty sure, yes, that I spelled Wookiee correctly, but that has less to do with geekiness than with a bizarrre photographic memory for spelling that I seem to have.

  11. 11.

    Dave

    “I’m asking you to acquit me and give me a chance to show my innocence”
     
    I love that line both for its brazenness and insanity.

  12. 12.

    R-Jud

    He needs to adjust the hair. The messages it receives from the mothership are getting seriously garbled in transit.

  13. 13.

    Ash Can

    And since I can’t edit my previous comment, I want to emphasize that this is a dandy link — lots of lulz there.

  14. 14.

    David

    He’s having a slow motion, mental breakdown in public. He thinks if he just keeps up the blather that nothing bad is going to happen. As long as he keeps talking, reality is kept at bay.

  15. 15.

    Media Browski

    I’m torn. Is Blago the most outrageously chutzpahriffic pol of the past year, or is it Palin? Strange hair similarities too.

    Hey, this is important!

  16. 16.

    Polish the Guillotines

    Blagojevich is pure entertainment — the bastard spawn of Cosmo Kramer and George Costanza.

    What’s not to love?

  17. 17.

    Dave

    I just pray someone gives Blago a talk show or one of those "Judge" shows when he’s out of office. You don’t get this special kind of crazy too often. The last guy this nuts was James Traficant, Jr.

  20. 20.

    LanceThruster

    Rod Blagojevich: You know, it’s at times like this, when I’m stuck in the Illinois State Senate with a bunch of incriminating tapes, about to be removed from office, that I really wish I’d listened to what my mother told me when I was young.

    State Senate: Why? What did she tell you?

    Rod Blagojevich: I don’t know! I didn’t listen!

  21. 21.

    JGabriel

    John Cole @ Top:

    [Blagojevic] then left the chambers without answering any questions or doing anything to prove his innocence.

    While I understand that an impeachment process, due to its essentially political nature, may have more fliexible criteria for rules of evidence and conviction, isn’t there still a presumption of innocence? I mean, it’s kind of an American tradition, at least at trials.

    Obviously, we’re free to assume Blago’s guilty as a whore’s John (which I do). But as a procedural matter, I’m just not sure the impeachment process is supposed to require that he prove his innocence.

    .

  27. 27.

    Napoleon

    @David:

    I think you might have seen something similar from Bush had he been impeached.

    I have actually think if he gets hauled up on war criminal charges, whether here or abroad, you are going to see one of the most cringe inducing pathetic speeches of all time from him. That is actually one of the reasons I think prosecutions would be a win for the Dems. If you get him on the stand and he opens his mouth by the time he is done 70% of the American public will be so gabsmaked that they let a clown like him within a million miles of the Oval Office that the public will be too embarrassed to vote for the clowns the Republicans put up on a regular basis for the next 100 years. What will be a bonus is that nearly the entire leadership will defend Bush after he embarrasses himself.

  29. 29.

    Binkyboy

    There has to be something medically wrong with the guy. He stayed under the radar for a long time before coming out as America’s craziest governor. Too bad it isn’t one of those laughably crazy governors that did things like wear women’s clothes and put forth unpaid legislation as a health care plan.

  30. 30.

    Anton Sirius

    I love that it was noteworthy to mention in that article that Blago spoke for less than an hour.

    I believe the bookies had the over/under pegged at 77.5 minutes.

  31. 31.

    jibeaux

    @JGabriel:

    Oh, sure. It’s just that he came in at the end of the impeachment proceedings, which, while I haven’t been following them closely, I would expect entailed some rebuttal of that presumption.

  34. 34.

    Brick Oven Bill

    1. Blago very well may be crazy and deserving of being removed.

    2. Being crazy is not an excuse for a flawed process. It was a violation of the 10th Amendment to write Blago’s name into H.R. 1. It was wrong for the House of Representatives to enter Blago’s name into the record in a bad way without any trial.

    I listened to the tapes played at the outset of the Legislative proceedings, and they are nothing different than what probably goes on in any political horse trading.

    Blago should have access to all of the FBI recordings that are being used against him. If Blago is not granted access to all of these recordings during the discovery phase of his criminal trial, something is wrong.

    I hope that Blago gets acquitted in the criminal trial and writes a lucrative tell-all book.

  41. 41.

    Michael D.

    OT, but I thought it was funny because it’s true:

    Shorter Drudge:

    Nancy Pelosi is handing out a trillion dollars’ worth of STD-ridden condoms to illegal immigrants for gay sex while the earth enters a new ice age. Did I miss anything?

  42. 42.

    John PM

    I’m asking you to acquit me and give me a chance to show my innocence.”

    This, from Blagojevich’s biography on the Illinois Governor’s site, puts the above sentence into even better context:

    Gov. Blagojevich graduated from Northwestern University in 1979 and earned his law degree from Pepperdine School of Law in 1983. Gov. Blagojevich was a Cook County Assistant State’s Attorney. During his tenure, he prosecuted domestic abuse cases and felony weapons charges, which made him a strong advocate for tougher sentencing laws when he was elected to the General Assembly in 1992.

  44. 44.

    The Moar You Know

    @Brick Oven Bill: Blago and his lawyers will get everything they need for the trial save for competent hairdressing. Pat Fitzgerald is good that way.

    I don’t share your faith that he’ll be acquitted, although I think a book by him would be spectacular. You’ve gotta look long and hard to find crazy of that caliber.

  45. 45.

    Binkyboy

    I don’t share your faith that he’ll be acquitted, although I think a book by him would be spectacular. You’ve gotta look long and hard to find crazy of that caliber.

    I submit to you: Kathrine Harris!

  46. 46.

    PanAmerican

    No one knows what it’s like
    To be the bad man
    To be the sad man
    Behind blue eyes

    No one knows what it’s like
    To be hated
    To be fated
    To telling only lies

    But my dreams
    They aren’t as empty
    As my conscience seems to be

    I have hours, only lonely
    My love is vengeance
    That’s never free

    No one knows what it’s like
    To feel these feelings
    Like I do
    And I blame you

    No one bites back as hard
    On their anger
    None of my pain and woe
    Can show through

    But my dreams
    They aren’t as empty
    As my conscience seems to be

    When my fist clenches, crack it open
    Before I use it and lose my cool
    When I smile, tell me some bad news
    Before I laugh and act like a fool

    If I swallow anything evil
    Put your finger down my throat
    If I shiver, please give me a blanket
    Keep me warm, let me wear your coat

    No one knows what it’s like
    To be the bad man
    To be the sad man
    Behind blue eyes

  47. 47.

    John PM

    In the words of White Sox announcer Hawk Harrelson: He gone.

    From the Chicago Tribune:

    The Illinois Senate is now voting on whether to remove impeached Democratic Gov. Rod Blagojevich from office.

    As each senator’s name was called, they and spoke their vote, either "yes" or "no."

    The question posed to them was: "Shall the Senate sustain the article of impeachment against Rod R. Blagojevich and remove him from the office of governor?"

    The vote right now is 58-0 with one vote not yet counted due to some sort of technical issue. Senate President John Cullerton, who is to cast the final vote, could not get his vote recorded.

    They’re now going to redo the roll call by allowing senators to press a button.

    They did, and it’s 59-0 to remove Blagojevich from office.

  49. 49.

    JohnR

    You know, every time I hear him speak, I love Blago more. This guy is a perfect political talk-show host – he’s Rush or O’Reilly without the whininess, but even more insanity and Chutzpah. I’m just surprised he’s a Democrat; he’s got the overweening sense of entitlement and self-pity that seem to qualify one to rise to the top in the GOP. 10:1 he changes registration as soon as the excitement dies down, and they welcome him with open arms.

  50. 50.

    Laura W

    he’s got the overweening sense of entitlement and self-pity that seem to qualify one to rise to the top in the GOP.

    Palinesque, almost.

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