• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

People are complicated. Love is not.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Republicans in disarray!

An almost top 10,000 blog!

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Just because you believe it, that doesn’t make it true.

This really is a full service blog.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Infrastructure week. at last.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Mobile Menu

  • Winnable House Races
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Balloon Juice 2023 Pet Calendar (coming soon)
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • War in Ukraine
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • 2021-22 Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Politics / I’m not saying the Republican party is the Taliban

I’m not saying the Republican party is the Taliban

by DougJ|  February 5, 20096:45 pm| 56 Comments

This post is in: Politics, Assholes, The Failed Obama Administration (Only Took Two Weeks)

FacebookTweetEmail

Michael Kinsley’s definition of a gaffe:

A gaffe is when a politician tells the truth.

Republican House Pete Sessions today:

Insurgency, we understand perhaps a little bit more because of the Taliban,” Sessions said during a meeting yesterday with Hotline editors. “And that is that they went about systematically understanding how to disrupt and change a person’s entire processes. And these Taliban — I’m not trying to say the Republican Party is the Taliban. No, that’s not what we’re saying. I’m saying an example of how you go about [sic] is to change a person from their messaging to their operations to their frontline message. And we need to understand that insurgency may be required when the other side, the House leadership, does not follow the same commands, which we entered the game with.

I guess it’s not technically a gaffe since he said “I’m not trying to say the Republican Party is the Taliban.” But it’s certainly something like one.

This is why Obama doesn’t stand a chance of beating the right-wing message machine.

Remember, though, there are a lot of serious, bipartisan-minded people in the Taliban.

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « Obama Fiddled While These People Starved
Next Post: Another Thought »

Reader Interactions

56Comments

  1. 1.

    Zifnab

    February 5, 2009 at 6:51 pm

    What do you fucking do at this point? Short of rounding up the Republican Caucus and throwing them in Gitmo, I honestly have no solution to this problem.

  2. 2.

    Josh Hueco

    February 5, 2009 at 6:51 pm

    "I’m not trying to say the Republican Party is a bunch of bitter, revanchist religious nuts."

    Fishizzle.

  3. 3.

    Joshua Norton

    February 5, 2009 at 6:58 pm

    I’m not trying to say the Republican Party is the Taliban. No, that’s not what we’re saying.

    And I’m not sayin’ they are the Taliban, I’m just sayin’ we should treat them like the Taliban.

  4. 4.

    Stuck

    February 5, 2009 at 7:02 pm

    Remember, though, there are a lot of serious, bipartisan-minded people in the Taliban.

    I think there once was, but were cooked and eaten for Allah.

    Limbauger Cheese , Buy American

  5. 5.

    Joshua Norton

    February 5, 2009 at 7:04 pm

    Next talking point:

    Obama has to appoint a conservative judge to the SCOTUS to replace Ginsberg. Just to prove he’s bipartisan. Maybe Newt Gingrich?

    I’m just saying…..

  6. 6.

    Zam

    February 5, 2009 at 7:04 pm

    So they are not the Taliban… they just aspire to be like them?

  7. 7.

    Shygetz

    February 5, 2009 at 7:05 pm

    What do you fucking do at this point? Short of rounding up the Republican Caucus and throwing them in Gitmo, I honestly have no solution to this problem.

    You go on TV. You tell the America public "Look, we tried to treat these people like adults and work together. And they said that they are going to be insurgents, an American Taliban. So now, we’re freezing them out of the national conversation." Then you pass legislation, with the debate between Blue Dogs and liberal Democrats. You slot the Republican’s speaking time on the floor for 2:00 AM, and you treat them like the petulant children they are in the media. And you recommend to their constituents that, if they insist on Republican representation, they throw these fools out and elect someone who will actually work with the Democratic majority, because these guys aren’t going to get ANY traction.

    In other words, you take your balls out of the safe deposit box, dust ’em off, and use ’em.

  8. 8.

    JL

    February 5, 2009 at 7:05 pm

    Hey, does anyone know if we are still paying $25,000 reward for information on the Taliban and supporters?

  9. 9.

    Joshua Norton

    February 5, 2009 at 7:08 pm

    you take your balls out of the safe deposit box, dust ‘em off, and use ‘em.

    Or at least get some Truck Nutz. You can order them over the Internets if you’re too embarrassed to ask for them in person.

  10. 10.

    demkat620

    February 5, 2009 at 7:08 pm

    I think Republicanism needs to be in the DSM-V.

  11. 11.

    Zam

    February 5, 2009 at 7:08 pm

    If a dem ever said this shit during republican rule he probably would have been removed on some sort of ethics charge. If not jailed for treason.

  12. 12.

    DougJ

    February 5, 2009 at 7:14 pm

    If a dem ever said this shit during republican rule he probably would have been removed on some sort of ethics charge. If not jailed for treason.

    That’s about right.

    And truth be told, it would be a fucked up thing for anyone to say about the US government (at least unless Palin somehow gets in, then all bets are off). I mean, I hated the Bush administration with the core of my being, and never once did it occur to me to look at things from quite that perspective.

  13. 13.

    dmsilev

    February 5, 2009 at 7:14 pm

    They’re the Taliban, huh? So the GOP derives most of its income from heroin sales? Somehow, I’m not surprised.

    -dms

  14. 14.

    Jon H

    February 5, 2009 at 7:21 pm

    Via Gawker, the story behind Sara Palin’s choice of the name "Bristol" is that during Palin’s sportscaster days she wanted to work for ESPN. But then she found out she’d have to move to Bristol, CT, where ESPN is based. So she gave that up, and instead named her kid Bristol.

    It’s funny, because Keith Olbermann said on air that Bristol is the most god-forsaken place on Earth.

  15. 15.

    TenguPhule

    February 5, 2009 at 7:26 pm

    I guess it’s not technically a gaffe since he said “I’m not trying to say the Republican Party is the Taliban.” But it’s certainly something like one.

    Can we follow SOP for dealing with Taliban forces and drop bunker busters on GOP Senator homes?

  16. 16.

    TenguPhule

    February 5, 2009 at 7:27 pm

    What do you fucking do at this point?

    I hear France found a solution that involved slabs of metal coming down and a new industry in woven baskets.

  17. 17.

    former capitalist

    February 5, 2009 at 7:31 pm

    Sessions was cut off by an aide who stepped in and said that Sessions really didn’t mean to equate Republicans with the Taliban. Who knows what the idiot would have said if he hadn’t been saved by the staff member.

  18. 18.

    Jon H

    February 5, 2009 at 7:33 pm

    @TenguPhule: "Can we follow SOP for dealing with Taliban forces and drop bunker busters on GOP Senator homes?"

    And wedding parties.

  19. 19.

    former capitalist

    February 5, 2009 at 7:35 pm

    @TenguPhule:

    I’ve been thinking about that, and I’ve come to the conclusion that the Revolution would not have looked kindly on Senator Sessions’ comment. Robespierre, where are ye?

  20. 20.

    AkaDad

    February 5, 2009 at 7:35 pm

    If you’ve always been issuing Fatwah’s against Liberals, then you may be Taliban-ish.

  21. 21.

    Catpain Haddock

    February 5, 2009 at 7:36 pm

    And just like the Taliban – made of a bunch of bitter, closeted nut jobs who hate themselves and women.

  22. 22.

    dmsilev

    February 5, 2009 at 7:37 pm

    @former capitalist:

    Sessions was cut off by an aide who stepped in and said that Sessions really didn’t mean to equate Republicans with the Taliban. Who knows what the idiot would have said if he hadn’t been saved by the staff member.

    That suggests a strategy. We need to convince the competent staff members, the ones shielding their semi-sane bosses from the real world (or vice versa), to move on to greener pastures. Let the wingnuttery be exposed in all its full glory.

    -dms

  23. 23.

    Gold Star for Robot Boy

    February 5, 2009 at 7:38 pm

    @Jon H: My big flat Afghan wedding!

  24. 24.

    Downpuppy

    February 5, 2009 at 7:39 pm

    @former capitalist:

    Who knows what the idiot would have said if he hadn’t been saved by the staff member.

    I read the damn thing 3 times & don’t understand what he said before he was cut off.

    I’m saying an example of how you go about [sic] is to change a person from their messaging to their operations to their frontline message

    .

    Makes no sense, and then, what the hell are the rules he’s talking about at the end?

  25. 25.

    Tsulagi

    February 5, 2009 at 7:40 pm

    Amazing. And these are the drool-cup idiots the Dems typically cave to. While sagely raising an eyebrow intoning their mantras “You pick yer battles,” and “Keep yer powder dry.”

    With these majorities AND the presidency, if they say that one more time just shoot the bastards and piss in their powder. Darwin needs your support.

  26. 26.

    The Populist

    February 5, 2009 at 7:41 pm

    Doug,

    Actually Obama will. He will be on TV promoting the Stimulus and explaining WHY we need this. Good for him.

    As for Sessions, hey asswipe…I’d call you Rep or Mr. Sessions but you blew that bit of respect out of the water. So if the GOP aren’t the Taliban, but they use their tactics, how are you not comparing the two? Either you are LIKE the Taliban or you aren’t.

    What is with these idiots and their ilk? I promise you had a Dem said something stupid like this, the GOP would have beaten them to death with it via their right wing media.

    If his constituents make excuses for this fucktard then they deserve all the economic pain and the shitstorm coming their way. I, for one, am tired of feeling empathy for people who vote against their own financial self interests (and the country’s at large) so they can feel better that their rep is anti-abortion, pro-guns and hate liberals.

  27. 27.

    srv

    February 5, 2009 at 7:43 pm

    Where is that pastry donut logo when you need it?

    I suggest a "Pete Sessions Most Like the Taliban Award" for the wingnuttiest comment of the week. Maybe someone could put his likeness on a pic with the appropriate garb.

  28. 28.

    Zifnab

    February 5, 2009 at 7:53 pm

    @Catpain Haddock:

    And just like the Taliban – made of a bunch of bitter, closeted nut jobs who hate themselves and women.

    Taliban have balls. I may not like the religious nutjobs, but if you’re willing to live in a cave day-to-day while building up a rebel army to oust the last world Superpower from your nation’s borders, I’ll respect you for your chutzpah.

    Sessions has no balls. He’d have a face full of Limbaugh dong if the man so much as blinked at him. He’s the leashed dog of my state’s oil industry. Frankly, I find the idea that he would compare himself favorably to the Taliban as an insult to Taliban insurgents everywhere. The man wouldn’t last a cold night in the Afghan mountains.

    He’ll fold like the bitch he is the moment he gets a good kick.

  29. 29.

    John Cole

    February 5, 2009 at 7:54 pm

    Am I the only one who remembers right-wingers freaking out when they were referred to as the “American Taliban…”

    Someone google that. Could be fun.

  30. 30.

    The Populist

    February 5, 2009 at 7:57 pm

    I want to see Michelle "Send em all to Gitmo!" Malkin call out Fuckwad Sessions. This is the problem with these people. They get their panties all twisted when they think Dems hate Bush 24/7, yet can’t see that disliking a President for his lame policy is not the same thing as calling somebody a terrorist, socialist, communist, foreign mole, secret muslim, Manchurian Candidate, etc.

    See, righties, you lose the debate when you talk about stupid shit that can be disproven. You get all worked up when a dem says something smart that questions your stance yet you run with nothing but stale talking points and no real insight.

    Yep, they sure do like to be bombastic.

  31. 31.

    John Cole

    February 5, 2009 at 7:57 pm

    Also, does this mean we get to shoot them?

  32. 32.

    The Populist

    February 5, 2009 at 7:58 pm

    John:

    http://www.perrspectives.com/features/Taliban.htm

  33. 33.

    The Populist

    February 5, 2009 at 7:59 pm

    Also, does this mean we get to shoot them?

    Nah, I don’t want to shoot them, I just want to call them the traitors.

  34. 34.

    demkat620

    February 5, 2009 at 8:02 pm

    You know as bad as this was did any one else catch Mona Charen on Stephanie Miller today? Oh dear. Mona has issues. Serious issues.

    These people are just nuts. And don’t get me started about Huckleberry Graham today.

    Pass me whatever they are smoking.

  35. 35.

    LItlebritdifrnt

    February 5, 2009 at 8:02 pm

    Srsly? These people are comparing themselves to the Taliban? And these are the people who are daring to place Queen Sarah Palin at the throne of their party for the next 8 years? Srsly? Damn and I was getting worried and all that.

  36. 36.

    demimondian

    February 5, 2009 at 8:06 pm

    @demkat620: Oh, come on, kat…dish. Some of us were at work.

  37. 37.

    former capitalist

    February 5, 2009 at 8:08 pm

    You know, I’ve been on this blog almost all day and I’ve about had it. Can we just get the pitchforks out and get this over with?

    The two beers I’ve had aren’t helping at all. I think I’ll go get a few benzos and an ambien out of the cupboard and think good thoughts for a while.

    John, maybe we need a "good things only" open thread.

  38. 38.

    former capitalist

    February 5, 2009 at 8:10 pm

    Why is my comment awaiting moderation? I was trying to be nice!

  39. 39.

    headpan

    February 5, 2009 at 8:21 pm

    Soo, is this terrorist-sympathizer comment going to get some serious airplay??

    Didn’t think so.

  40. 40.

    demkat620

    February 5, 2009 at 8:22 pm

    @demimondian:
    Well, I don’t like to gossip but…
    Mona is very upset about Rep Linda Sanchez D-CA who is 40, pregnant, and engaged. Mona wrote some screed comparing Rep Sanchez to the Octuplet mom and Steph invited her on to explain herself.

    Mona feels that the moment Rep Sanchez found out she was pregnant she lost her right to the wedding of her choice and should have hauled her irresponsible self off to a Justice of the Peace. It went down hill from there and eventually wound up with Stephanie reminding Mona that Murphy Brown was a TV character.

    Yes, she went there.

  41. 41.

    Stuck

    February 5, 2009 at 8:23 pm

    @former capitalist:

    Nothing to do with being nice. Spam filter doesn’t like certain words like "penis extension" or something similar.

  42. 42.

    Stuck

    February 5, 2009 at 8:24 pm

    see what I mean. the P E word is certain mod death.

    This will make sense when my previous comment is released from the mod dungeon.

  43. 43.

    Laura W

    February 5, 2009 at 8:25 pm

    Obama is about to speak on CNN re. the economy. (C-Span too.)
    I second the "Happy Things Only" open thread.

    (Edit: Happy Thing: watching Pres Obama walk up the steps to Air Force One for the first time. Gorgeous image of his back in his coat, all stately and elegant, against the dusk sky. Can’t wait to see the still shots.)

  44. 44.

    headpan

    February 5, 2009 at 8:27 pm

    The two beers I’ve had aren’t helping at all.

    Neither is this half-bottle of red wine I got on sale. And drinking & dialing has run it’s course already – stay.away.from.teh.intertubes.and.all.things.media/political

    WHOLESALE.

  45. 45.

    Lancelot Link

    February 5, 2009 at 8:29 pm

    if you recall, conservative Republicans were supporting the Taliban until late 2001….

  46. 46.

    Ed Marshall

    February 5, 2009 at 8:30 pm

    Yeah, um…

    I had more than a few really uncharitable thoughts about the Bush administration. When my cousin died in Iraq in 2004, I had a recurring fantasy that involved Donald Rumsfeld’s bronzed head appearing on a pike staring into the Capitol from the top of the steps.

    I never, ever, ever, sat around trying to think of myself as the Taliban and how I could model an insurgency against the Bush administration. I know anarchist radicals who don’t believe in any politics except direct action and I never heard any of *them* sit around and bullshit like this.

  47. 47.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    February 5, 2009 at 8:34 pm

    And we need to understand that insurgency may be required when the other side, the House leadership, does not follow the same commands, which we entered the game with.

    He sounds ripe for recruitment by Red State Trike Farce.

  48. 48.

    numbskull

    February 5, 2009 at 9:24 pm

    Everyone go back up to Shygetz at 7. It’s teh answer.

    I have spoken! (well, written…)

  49. 49.

    Rome Again

    February 5, 2009 at 10:24 pm

    @demkat620:

    I think Republicanism needs to be in the DSM-V.

    That’s the best solution I’ve heard so far. Can we then get them all rendered incompetent and replace them with people who actually CARE about the future of this country? Pleeeeeeeeze?

  50. 50.

    Batocchio

    February 6, 2009 at 3:32 am

    Remember that David Broder and Richard Cohen are big fans of the Taliban.

  51. 51.

    bob h

    February 6, 2009 at 8:19 am

    But the Republicans, the Taliban, and al Qaeda are all nihilists. Destroy everything, then rise from the ashes is the strategy.

  52. 52.

    scarshapedstar

    February 7, 2009 at 3:32 am

    I’d say that since the moderate members of the Taliban already have at least plurality support for Obama’s agenda, we ought to triangulate and try to co-opt their base. Let’s just rewrite the funding for "contraceptives" to read "stoning of non-virgins" and move on to tackling the Real Problems.

Comments are closed.

Trackbacks

  1. Balloon Juice » Blog Archive » Another Thought says:
    February 5, 2009 at 8:33 pm

    […] || navigator.userAgent.indexOf("WebTV")>= 0) { document.write(”); document.write(”); } I’m not saying the Republican party is the Taliban 05 Feb Another […]

  2. Balloon Juice » Blog Archive » We’ll File This Under “Culture of Life” says:
    February 9, 2009 at 8:56 am

    […] while cutting the life-saving medical care for one of my constituents. Then again, I’m not an aspiring member of the Taliban, so our views on things might be a little […]

  3. Balloon Juice » Blog Archive » Scenes from the Twitter revolution says:
    February 14, 2009 at 11:39 pm

    […] these fuckers get through a single day without comparing themselves to the Taliban or other machine-gun carrying […]

  4. Balloon Juice » Blog Archive » Out of Ideas, Out of Their Minds, and Out of Touch says:
    February 15, 2009 at 10:11 am

    […] reason for anyone to trust the GOP, while the rest of them are spending their time running around comparing themselves to the Taliban. The reason Steele felt compelled to announce that the GOP can not be trusted is because everyone […]

Primary Sidebar

Fundraising 2023-24

Wis*Dems Supreme Court + SD-8

Recent Comments

  • Formerly disgruntled in Oregon on Wednesday Afternoon Open Thread: Good for the Mouse! (Mar 22, 2023 @ 6:32pm)
  • Baud on Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them. (Mar 22, 2023 @ 6:31pm)
  • Suzanne on Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them. (Mar 22, 2023 @ 6:30pm)
  • Baud on Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them. (Mar 22, 2023 @ 6:30pm)
  • eclare on Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them. (Mar 22, 2023 @ 6:30pm)

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
We All Need A Little Kindness
Classified Documents: A Primer
State & Local Elections Discussion

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Twitter / Spoutible

Balloon Juice (Spoutible)
WaterGirl (Spoutible)
TaMara (Spoutible)
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
TaMara
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
ActualCitizensUnited

Join the Fight!

Join the Fight Signup Form
All Join the Fight Posts

Balloon Juice Events

5/14  The Apocalypse
5/20  Home Away from Home
5/29  We’re Back, Baby
7/21  Merging!

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!