I’m tired for some reason. It has been raining and crappy all day, and that always screws up my sinuses. Also, Tunch, for no reason whatsoever, just ran into the office, attacked my right foot, and then screamed out of the room like a cruise missile.
It is only a little scratch, but it did draw blood. The fat bastard has gone feral.
A live action shot from five minutes ago.
*** Update ***
An early entrant for the 2009 Golden Wingnut Award. I’m laughing hysterically.
Zifnab
Arrows from his bones.
Just remind him of the economic numbers.
Forkbeard
Tunch and my cat would get along. Westley particularly enjoys jumping onto my head while I’m watching TV and then rocketing out of the room. My only consolation is listening to him take a corner too fast and go face-first into the wall.
AhabTRuler
Yes, well, Momo Sprout de la Hope y Changey is still learning when and when not to use one’s claws.
Jack
Case of kitty cat cabin fever?
Riggsveda
He’s hungry.
kid bitzer
he’s just found out that the other day you were telling fat jokes at the expense of cats, and he’s pissed.
jake 4 that 1
Man, that smirk on his face should have you reaching for the body armor.
"Yeah beotch, I scratched your right foot. I’m gonna count to eight and scratch your left foot. And then you’re gonna dance, sucka!"
Josh Hueco
He always has that "What you gonna do about it?" look on his face.
EDIT: Tornado watch tonight in central Texas. Wheeeee!
Joshua Norton
Awwwww. Leetle poooosey.
Ninerdave
He certainly looks pissed in that picture.
John Cole
@Zifnab: I forgot about that post. Sometimes I am pretty damned funny.
garyb50
Our cat has 3 slightly different meow-wails. One: she wants out. Two: she needs food. Three: she wants to be held for not more than 30 seconds & rubbed on her head, during which she bites the fuck out of me.
headpan
If that isn’t a "fuck you, you pink, hairless monkey" look, I don’t know what is.
Stuck
It’s all out winter here on the High Plains in Podunk, NM. Snow and wind and cold that would freeze em off a two-peckered Bill Goat.
Feral? Looks perfectly angelic and civilized to me. Of course they all do until night comes.
John Cole
@Ninerdave: He isn’t pissed. He is up to no good. He always has that damned smirk on his face unless he is asleep. The cat is the orneriest cat I have ever known.
And when people come over, he is all sweet and nice and friendly. The cat is a menace. He is trying to kill me. I know it.
Gus
Oddly it’s suddenly spring in Minneapolis. Rain today when it was about 5 last week at this time.
Svensker
Ah, yes, but what was your right foot DOING?
(Be sure to wash your scratch and dose it with antibiotic cream — cat scratch fever ain’t no joke.)
demimondian
@John Cole: Well, what do you think he’d do? You spend all your time claiming that he’s scrawny and thin, rather than celebrating his all-devouring heft.
Stuck
@Gus:
Drat! You stole my sunshine! Must be a banker:)
SpotWeld
Re the plotting cat: Just be glad he doesn’t have opposable thumbs. Regardless, don’t leave your drink uncovered around him.
MikeL
Is this an official caption contest?
Here’s my entry:
"Wa choo lookin’ at?"
Joshua Norton
I know I’ve posted it before, but Simon’s Cat absolutely slays me. Every time I watch it I have fits of laughter like I’ve never seen it before.
robertdsc
Caption:
" 6, bitch."
Punchy
If by "cruise missle" you mean "fat cruise missle", then I agree
Brick Oven Bill
I am tired too, from a poor diet. This is all about peanut allergies. This peanut allergy business is crap. There was a study of some Jewish kids in England, who did not eat peanuts because of the fear of peanut allergies. The other test group was a group of Jewish kids in Israel, who DID eat peanuts.
The English kids who DID NOT eat peanuts ended up with peanut allergies. But do not try to explain this to the wife. The wife knows that feeding peanuts to kids makes them allergic to peanuts.
So I’ve been trying to sneak them Peanut M&Ms, but they do not eat them, but instead would run around the house with them, threatening to blow my plan to maintain both family health and family harmony. In the process of this, I have polished off five of those Halloween mini-packs of Peanut M&Ms. And I feel tired.
jake 4 that 1
Duh. He’s a cat. Just be glad you only have one. I keep expecting the furry assholes at my place to run past me with a shoelace clamped in their jaws as I’m coming up the stairs.
Martin
I just saw this – couldn’t think of a better group to share it with:
The Sopranos, Uncensored
Stuck
I guess this will be the Peanut Chapter in your upcoming book of life.
Martin
Kick back and microwave yourself a beer.
former capitalist
S O is now using our puppy as a "therapy dog". Last week, a young child just lost it in a play therapy session, so I took the puppy into the play room (I try to be secretary in the afternoon) and the kid immediately quieted down. Now that clients (children and adults) are aware that the pup is here, several are asking to have it in session. More and more clinical therapists are using pets to calm clients. After John’s episode today though, I’m not sure Tunch would be a qualified therapy cat.
PS: 65 today here in flyover country.
Justin
This is what you get for putting him on diet food. He’s just trying to supplement, and like all good hunting animals, he’s toying with his prey to tire it and lull it into a false sense of security. "Oh, Tunch is just being ornery." Today your foot; tonight, that fat artery in your neck.
Brick Oven Bill
We don’t have a microwave Martin. Microwaves have the potential to make you sick too, you see.
Face
Deft with heft, eh?
Conservatively Liberal
Tunch has a look on his face that says: Yes, I swallowed that mouse. And that cheeseburger, fries, milkshake and the girl who served it. Yum.
Fixed. ;)
Josh Hueco
Great. Now we get to listen to BOB’s great plans to electrify the railroads through burning peanut oil.
justcorbly
Cats are predators. Your foot is prey. Wear shoes indoors.
I had a cat once upon a time. It bit every single visitor, and ignored me completely.
A friend once had a cat that sat on the piano when she played. Certain tunes — in a repeatable exercise — caused her to jump on the keys and attack my friend’s hands.
justcorbly
On the other hand, your cat is probably a Republican.
SGEW
This reminds me of a story an ex-roommate of mine told me, that went along these lines:
Roommate: "Back in grade school, there was this, like, kid who was all, like, allergic to peanuts, right? And we all, like, made fun of him, and, like, threw our peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at him, and tried to make him eat, like, peanuts all the time."
Me: "That’s pretty fucked up."
Roommate: "Yeah, I guess. ‘Cause a few years later he ate a peanut and he died and stuff."
[silence fills the room]
Roommate (continuing): "I guess I shouldn’t have, like, thrown those peanuts at him, huh?"
She did not last long as my roommate.
Teri
Tunch probably sensed your sinsus problems and figured an old fashioned blood letting would help them! Try a hot steamy shower along with a good gargle with some apple cider vinegar to clean out those sinsus. Feel better.
Teri
The Moar You Know
He has tasted blood. I’d sleep in your car for the next week if I were you.
media browski
My chloe-kitten has a cold, which is adorable.she sneezes 3 times and then looks confused.
At least until she decides to claw us to demponstrate her discomfort. Meh.
Anton Sirius
I’ve got a cat that does that all the time… yesterday Bijou launched repeated guerilla raids against my foot while I was brushing my teeth. Usually she knows enough to hold back on the claws and teeth though.
Try wearing less tasty socks.
Svensker
Edited for stupidity. Mine.
Laura W
@AhabTRuler:
Thank you. Just got in, exhausted and weepy and fluish(?).
This was the best, and only, laugh out loud of my day. I can always count on that here.
KRK
Lovely photo of Tunch, thanks for posting.
As for this
well now, that’s a matter of opinion, isn’t it? No doubt Tunch had a reason, even if it was just "John bugs."
Since my dear Gus has made two appearances in BJ catblogging, I’m going to claim the indulgence of asking for sympathy for yesterday’s diagnosis of chronic renal failure.
MikeL
Check out the lastest post on Radley’s blog. Complete with Hotlink Hi-Jinx.
http://www.theagitator.com/2009/02/10/radley-balko-exposed/"
Svensker
Big sympathy. Yikes.
Laura W
@kid bitzer:
Maxwel
You’re lucky you’re the big guy in the relationship.
SGEW
@KRK: Wow. That’s incredibly awful. Sympathy, w/ extra sadness.
(Goes to hug own kitteh. Gets the "why are you so weird?" look. Worth it.)
@Laura W:
C’mon. Mr. Cole just needed to re-up his "skull fuck a kitten" creds. He has a reputation to protect, ya know.
Face
OT — what’s up with the DKos frontpagers having to use their full, probably real names? What drove this? Any backstory and/or link most appreciated.
AhabTRuler
@Laura W: Anytime I give a larf it is good. If it is a well-needed larf, then even better!
Joshua Norton
Probably something to do with this:
Web 2.0 defamation lawsuits multiply
AhabTRuler
@KRK: I’m really sorry to hear that.
RoonieRoo
I love that picture of Tunch. We had to bell our cat Lewis this weekend. He’s been spending way too much time doing sneak attacks on the other cats and the dog and we got sick of the howling. So now he has bells on his collar. When you hear the jingling you can see the other cats zeroing in on where he is before they relax again.
Miriam
Hi. Lurker here.
My cat Gino (20 lbs) does sneak attacks at night. He goes after whatever is outside the covers. During the day he just goes after the dog (who has a great deal of respect for him.)
Polish the Guillotines
@KRK:
Mondo sympathy from me. We lost Alex a couple years ago to a similar condition. One of the best cats I ever knew.
Anyway, sorry as hell to hear about Gus.
WereBear
When it’s rainy out, the barometer drops. This can make people’s brains swell.
Kitties, too.
I’m one of those people who get along fine with rainy weather. Obviously, my brain is too small.
Stuck
So I guess now the PUMA thingy has officially been folded into the Wingnut Mothership. Who could have predicted that?
Andre
@MikeL:
Oh man, that’s awesome. The hotlink bait and switch made my day.
chuck
The next story on the Agitator has the RLC writing him threatening letters telling him to cease and desist in h4x0ring their site.
They really work damn hard at being that stupid.
A Kat
Am Kat
cud not fiynd maows 2 torechure so attak yu 2 ammuze mee
Wile E. Quixote
Has anyone looked at McMegan McArdle’s blog lately? It’s really turned to shit. I stopped reading her a few months ago when her blog became nothing more than uninteresting postings about how difficult it was for her to get her automobile registration renewed (said difficulty being enhanced by McArdle’s drama queenery and apparent lack of anything resembling common sense) and ranting about her difficult experiences with getting her washing machine fixed. I’ll take John’s cat pictures any day of the week (John, get a laser pointer and use it to run some fat off of Tunch.)
So I popped over there today and the place looks like a retarded version of Red State. Nothing but various zombies posting nonsense about how they’re "embarassed" sic to have Obama as their president. Given the quality of The Atlantic’s other bloggers I’m wondering how long it’s going to be before McMegan finds herself out of a job. I have to think that "former blogger" on your resume looks about as appealing to an employer as "assistant crack-whore".
Litlebritdifrnt
My poor old legs are a veritable battlefield of scratches and bloody welts thanks to my cats idea of fun being using my legs as scratching posts when I shuffle into the kitchen in my bathrobe in the morning to get my tea. It’s no wonder I am cranky in the mornings.
KRK – my heartfelt sympathies go out to you, there is nothing worse than learning that a beloved pet is sick.
PS) I don’t know how many of you saw this story yesterday (from AP) but it has the uncanny ability of warming the cockles of my heart to making me want to vomit. (The vet who removed all of the dog’s teeth should have his license revoked) anyway it has a happy ending, which is what matters.
http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/A/AMERICAS_DOG?SITE=NDBIS&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT
Oh and Michael Vick can rot in hell, and if he ever goes back to a football team insane enough to hire him I would quite happily buy a ticket and pelt the field with eggs.
Ellid
I think there’s an excellent chance that Tunch is plotting to kill you. Perhaps it’s time to threaten him with becoming a bathmat?
Litlebritdifrnt
Oh BTW (via Wonkette) the award for Wingnut of 2009 has to go to this, you have GOT to read this:
http://www.worldnetdaily.com/?pageId=88439
The conspiracy theory is so delicious it assumes that the Soviets are so utterly stoopid that they would "choose and groom" someone with the middle name "Hussein" yeah good luck with that theory.
Annie
Maybe you are feral….
Dan
Tunch has gone rogue.
Litlebritdifrnt
Oh and John, are there any stairs in your house? Cause you know the whole winding round your legs while you are walking down them is a dead giveaway that he is trying to kill and eat you. Just sayin.
Conservatively Liberal
@Face:
About the names at Kos…
Just an FYI.
KRK
Thanks for the sympathies, folks. Gus isn’t in crisis yet, just ailing. So I get to add to his troubles by poking him with needles and forcing things down his throat. No doubt if he were feeling stronger, he’d be drawing blood like Tunch.
Laura W
That photo of Tunch is really intense.
"The look of loathe is in his eyes." is what I keep getting.
Conservatively Liberal
They hotlinked to an image on his site, he replaces it with an "Obama dildo" image and they "have the evidence" of his hacking their site?
That is ‘go home, pull your out gun and blow your fucking worthless brains out’ stupid. WIN!
Mike in NC
Not soon enough. She can move back in with her parents and continue the Libertarian BS from a desk in the basement.
AhabTRuler
No shit, eh? I thought everyone had been goatse-ed into submission on the whole hotlinking thing.
Huh, guess they must be n00bz on teh interwebs.
paul in kirkland
FWIW, the fact that Tunch has such a great coat indicates he’s very happy/content.
Laura W
@paul in kirkland: If I recall, John coiffes his cat’s coat twice a day.
And he vacuums every Saturday.
John Cole Trivial Pursuit now concludes.
John Cole
@Laura W:Yes.
I brush him a good bit. He seems to like it and purrs like crazy and it keeps the shedding down, plus it makes him softer. Plus, it is a nice way to start the day. Brush the cat and have some coffee while sitting on the floor watching a couple minutes of news.
The Populist
Okay, I am now proud to share a "The" with this Agitator. A man after my own heart!
kommrade reproductive vigor
Shorter entire Wingnuttisphere: I CAN’T THINK LOGICALLY, THERE’S A BLACK MAN IN THE WHITE HOUSE!1Eleventy.
Andre
Never forget the Furminator. Poppy has a massive fluffy ginger cat, and he’s gone from losing twice his own body weight in fur each week to scarcely shedding at all.
Krista
All cats have moments when they turn into wild spazzes. For some cats, those moments come every three minutes, for some, it’s only a few times a year. With most cats, you’ll get the odd period of spazziness when they’ll leap away from invisible threats, run around like lunatics, attack feet, and basically act like they’re on a meth-catnip cocktail.
‘Tis part of the charm of the cat.
AnneLaurie
Tunch is boooored. John, you are not a very satisfactory playmate from Tunch’s point of view. Buy him a nice kitten to work off his extra energy, already!
I hate when that happens (and it’s so often what happens). Has your vet talked to you about subcutaneous hydration? If you — and Gus, who looks a mellow sort — can get your head around the concept of needling Ringer’s solution into the loose skin over his shoulders, you and he can get some extra months or years of Good Time together. It’s not a cure-all, but working past my needle phobia gave our 12-year-old Maine Coone Figaro almost 3 extra years. And since our little feral Isis, who worshipped Figaro, went into sudden renal failure only a few weeks after his eventual death, it probably prolonged her life as well.
Laura W
@Andre: We love our Furminator! Annie is short haired but you should see what happens when Sadie gets furminated! She literally has bald spots for all of the undercoat that comes off of her.
Laura W
@John Cole: Here.
kommrade reproductive vigor
Fxd.
John, the IRLC v. The Agitator match deserves its own post. "We have the evidence right here of your hacking" could be the next "I am Aware of all Internet Traditions."
Comrade Darkness
my grumpy cat was making me crazy the other day when I was really really too busy to deal with it. sending her off just made her worse. So I said, wtf is the problem? and she gave me a look just like tunch’s complete with a scolding meow. So, I said, okay, I can’t read you (the other cat is clear as day what’s up) so we’ll just try some of everything. A nice brushing, collar off and all, some playing, some petting… and I didn’t see her again all day. Definitely worth the investment.
Mike in NC
I keep telling the wife when she tries to brush our two cats that she should wear leather work gloves. But she never listens to me about anything. We keep plenty of Band-Aids on hand.
AnneLaurie
The fluids in your body expand the same way fluids in a barometer do, but the change is so subtle most people don’t pay attention. Any injuries to the little cavities where bones require lubrication, however, can turn you into a human barometer — that’s where the folklore about old people being able to predict rain via aching knees, toes, or backs comes from. Hip, spine, or even carpal tunnel surgery will do it, too. As do chronic sinus problems, and even a history of migraine (i.e., abnormal brain reaction to blood-vessel swelling).
I used to work on the 60th floor of a skyscraper for a woman who had chronic migraines. Higher altitudes, even an ‘insignificant’ 700-foot rise, exacerbate the internal-barometric-swelling problem. Whenever I got a sinus headache riding the elevator up to the office, I knew my boss would home sick with a migraine that day.
Comrade Darkness
"But she never listens to me about anything. We keep plenty of Band-Aids on hand."
My cats adore being brushed. They are short hairs like tunch there and think it is a heavenly way to get every bodily itch addressed simultaneously.
Andre
@Laura W: I agree, I’ve never seen a cat shrink so much!
We’ve actually given Gus (no relation) a pass on furminating his tail. Its magnificent brushy profile is severely diminished by the attention, rendering him less of a mancat. We figure a little fur here and there is worth the price of his pride.
Edit: And this is what Gus looks like when we don’t do what he asks:
http://img171.imageshack.us/my.php?image=gusisannoyeddr2.jpg
2liberal
McCain Palin rap , an oldie but if you haven’t seen this you might enjoy it.
LINK
Annie
Maybe you can change the routine.
He brushes you first thing in the morning. While you purr, he watches animal planet and eats his breakfast….
kommrade reproductive vigor
Clearly Tunch isn’t one of those cats that loves being brushed, right up until he decides the brush and the hand holding it are deadly enemies that must be destroyed.
I use a small shedding blade on the furry shitheads because 1. It’s the only thing that works. 2. The handle is long enough that I can avoid most attacks. 3. The looks on their faces when they bite it. Heh.
Laura W
@Andre:
That is hysterical! You should send that to John. I sent a couple of Annie wearing a blue "collar". He can start a Pet Conehead file and do a group theme post eventually, much like last weekend’s computer series.
Andre
@Laura W: I actually have a much, much better one. Gus is a highly amusing individual.
I’ll send it to John now. If it never gets posted, you’ll know it’s because he hates white people.
KRK
@AnneLaurie:
Thanks, AnneLaurie. We have started subcutaneous hydration. And Gus has added it to his list of grievances.
Cyrus
@AnneLaurie:
Yeah, it happens to me, and I’m only 26. I have a bad knee: it gets tired quickly, and it doesn’t actually go out of joint but if I fall on it just a little bit wrong it sure as hell feels like it. Most of the time I only notice it when I get a "twinge" while exercising, but when I take the elevator up to the top of a building enough to make a noticeable difference in air pressure, like the CN Tower in Toronto and the Space Needle in Seattle, I spend all my time limping around while I’m up there.