Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

After roe, women are no longer free.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

“woke” is the new caravan.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

I really should read my own blog.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

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Open to suggestions

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The GOP is looking for a sequel to last summer’s blockbuster “Drill Baby Drill”, which received mixed reviews:

“This year, everyone’s thinking maybe they’ll actually come up with grown-up things to say,” said Republican energy lobbyist Michael McKenna, president of MWR Strategies. “‘Drill, baby, drill’ impeded the conversation. We energy guys hated it.”

[…]

“‘Drill, baby, drill’ is a great slogan, but it’s not enough,” he (Gov. Tim Pawlenty) said. “We need to identify with emerging issues and get ahead of them.”

All eyes are now turning to new Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele, who coined the phrase, and some lawmakers hope he might crank out another infectious slogan.

I think we may be nearing the end of civilization.

In the meantime, any ideas for a new phrase? All that comes to mind for me, given Steele’s eerie likeness to that guy from Digital Underground, is “do the pumpty pump”. But I’m not sure that’s hip or infectious enough.

Reader Interactions

130Comments

  3. 3.

    Comrade Dread

    "F*** the polar bears."
    "Kill nature before nature kills you."
    "Why send money to rich, corrupt overseas a$$holes when we have so many local ones?"

  5. 5.

    Michael Scott

    Oh, I don’t know.

    These assclowns seem to think "Shrill, baby, shrill" is working fine for them at the moment.

  7. 7.

    charlotte

    Who cares if we boil?
    Let’s go get that oil!

    Yo —

    Why is the GOP so tacky? And not in a good way.

  9. 9.

    DougJ

    Who cares if we boil?
    Let’s go get that oil!

    Not bad.

    Slightly reminiscent of “bippity boppity, give me the zoppity”.

  10. 10.

    amorphous

    How do you spell the sound insane people make? I’m thinking it’s something along the lines of:

    GARBBBBBULLLFRALCKLEHAUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

    But my spelling may be off, so they may want to run it by an editor before they go with that one.

  16. 16.

    Jay in Oregon

    I can’t make up my mind. Should I submit:

    "Just leave your keys in the mailbox and turn the lights out."

    or:

    "I’m sorry, but we do not cover pre-existing conditions."

  17. 17.

    Lev

    Republicans 2010: If we win, could the last person to leave America turn the lights out after them?

    (Yes, it’s an homage to a certain famous British headline…)

  22. 22.

    DougJ

    And it should be lost on no one that they’re counting on the one black guy in the party to come up with the hip phrase. Why don’t they have him come up with a cool Republican break dance while they’re at it?

  24. 24.

    Mike G

    "…maybe they’ll actually come up with grown-up things to say,”

    The soft bigotry of low expectations.
    The Repigs have turned politics into the Special Olympics, where we’re supposed to praise Bush and Palin for showing up and blathering retarded nonsense even though they knocked down all the hurdles.

  26. 26.

    Delia

    Hey, Blackwater’s changing it’s name to Xe.

    And Gary Bauer wants you to stop calling his people the Religious Right and start calling them "socially conservative evangelicals."

    Because if it turns out your obnoxious behavior and slogans just piss people off and make them hate you, the solution is obvious. Come up with a new slogan or name and go right on pissing people off. That’ll fix the problem every time.

  28. 28.

    NutellaonToast

    How about "Think, baby, think!"

    Oh, wait, I forgot, you have to ask for things that are politically feasible, not what’s actually best for the country.

    God damn these morons. They are all just like Bush. They think the problem is just their "rhetoric."

  29. 29.

    BDeevDad

    And Gary Bauer wants you to stop calling his people the Religious Right and start calling them "socially conservative evangelicals."

    I guess they really don’t like the Catholics and Mormons anymore.

  32. 32.

    jprice vincenz

    If that cool kat Mike Steele is coming up with signature lines, I’m sure he’ll come up with something like "bling digity" or "blingbingmahommierespectyo?" I bet Barbara Walters will love it so much she’ll be repeating it on The View with Hasslecrack.

  36. 36.

    nylund

    There’s an old Simpsons episode where Bart, famous for never taking responsibility over his actions, is on the Krusty the Clown show. He quite obviously, but accidentally, knocks a bunch of stuff over on live TV, but instinctively answers, "I didn’t do it." His denial of something he obviously did is just so absurd that the audience starts laughing at how comical his denial is.

    He becomes quite famous as the, "I didn’t do it" kid and starts a running gag on the Krusty show where he causes horrible things to happen, only to then turn to the camera and say, "I didn’t do it." People laugh.

    It becomes a running joke throughout Springfield, and we see various characters claiming, "I didn’t do it" when they are caught having done something bad. This causes everyone within earshot to start laughing hysterically, instead of reacting with anger.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fw8_xvLj-4

    Be it the FDA, environmental issues, global warming, the national debt, the financial crisis, or what have you. The republicans are trying hard to deny responsibility for the actions they so obviously caused.

    So, I think the "I didn’t do it" gag would be entirely appropriate for them. Only this time, I don’t think anyone will be laughing.

  43. 43.

    Svensker

    No to Tay-ra, yes to Say-ra.

    No to Big O, yes to Joe-O.

    We know taxes make big fat asses,
    Those lazy welfare cheats got enough to eats.

    I think the last couplet is particularly intellectual.

  45. 45.

    NutellaonToast

    @DesertScorpion:

    Yeah, NO ONE likes chocolate and hazelnuts. I’ve barely even heard of them…..

    And yes, I named myself after something I find disgusting. How’d you know?

  47. 47.

    Ash Can

    And Gary Bauer wants you to stop calling his people the Religious Right and start calling them "socially conservative evangelicals."

    Actually, I never did call them "the religious right" in the first place. I call them "blasphemers" in polite company and "fucking lunatics" otherwise.

  48. 48.

    Zifnab

    GOP: The only things we abort are TAXES!

    The Republican Party: Don’t think of it as unemployment, think of it as a tax cut.

    Conservatives: If you don’t vote for us, we’ll outsource you to China.

    Death to America!

  49. 49.

    DesertScorpion

    How’d you know?

    How’d I know? I’ve tasted the stuff.

    Even the insects I hang around with (and eat) won’t eat that crap. They’d rather eat bird droppings.

    Pa-tooey!

  52. 52.

    Tonal Crow

    @nylund: I couldn’t resist resurrecting this post of mine, from the days when Yahoo still had news message boards:

    It’s the liberals. It’s the ACLU. It’s Clinton. It’s Monica. It’s the "climate of permissiveness". It’s France. It’s the liberal media. It’s Clinton’s p*nis. It’s Hillary. It’s Gov. Dean. We never could have known they’d fly planes into buildings. "No actionable intelligence". They didn’t tell us to do anything. O’Neill’s lying. Clarke’s lying. General Shinseki’s lying. The Union of Concerned Scientists is lying. Our own weapons inspectors lied. Wilson’s lying. John Dean’s lying. Newsweek lied! CBS lied! Woodward lied! Everyone’s lying but us. We had to lie. We never lied.

    Plame outed herself. Her husband outed her. The liberals outed her. No one outed her, since everyone already knew her covert identity. Libby had nothing to do with it. No comment. Lib’ral, lib’ral, lib’ral.

    It’s the libs trying to pull Schiavo’s feeding tube. It doesn’t matter that DeLay pulled his own dad’s feeding tube. "Culture of life". It’s Janet Jackson’s boobs; it’s the Statue of Justice’s boobs. Reading the news might cloud my judgement. It’s the "decade our government…blinded itself to our enemies". It’s the homosexuals wanting to marry. "Restore honor and dignity to the White House". A decision to go to war wasn’t a decision to go to war. "No actionable intelligence". It’s the pledge of allegiance. They’re taking God out of America. Osama didn’t tell us when, how, where, and by what means he’d attack, and he didn’t leave a forwarding address. The 9/11 panel is biased against us. Saddam = Al Qaida. Saddam = Al Qaida.

    Chalabi’s an honorable man and I believe everything he says about WMDs. Chalabi’s a crook and he passed secrets to Iran. Chalabi’s the liberals’ fault because they didn’t shoot us when we started using his "intelligence". Chalabi? I don’t know any ‘Chalabi’!

    It’s just a few dead-enders. They’ll be gone when we capture Saddam. They’ll be gone when we capture Saddam’s sons. They’ll be gone when we hand over "sovereignty". They’ll be gone when Iraq has elections. They’ll be gone when Iraq’s permanent government comes in. They’ll be gone when we kill Zarqawi. They’ll be gone when we capture Abu Humam. They’ll be gone when we convict Saddam. They’ll be gone in 12 years. They’ll be gone in 12 to 18 months, with some level of U.S. support for the Iraq forces. They’ll never be gone.

    We found the WMD! We didn’t find the WMD. We found the WMD! We didn’t find the WMD.

    The libs who warned against the war in Iraq and want to withdraw are killing our troops, but the cons who put them onto the battlefield are saving their lives.

    We fight them in London so we don’t have to fight them, er, uh, well, can’t get fooled again!

    "I’m not satisfied with what’s going on in Iraq." "We’re winning in Iraq!"

    "Torture" means exactly what I say it means, no more and no less. And waterboarding is not torture.

    "I’m a uniter, not a divider!" It’s the stem cells. It’s the feminazis, the intellectual elitists, and the ecoterrorists.

    It’s Cthulhu and the meltin’ ice caves of, er, no there ain’t no meltin’ ice caves, and our SUVs ain’t makin’ ’em melt!

    It’s the martians.

    It’s anyone but Bush.

  53. 53.

    Tara the antisocial social worker

    No to Tay-ra, yes to Say-ra.

    What’d I do?!

    I think we should stick with the classics: "War is peace, freedom is slavery, ignorance is strength."

  56. 56.

    iluvsummr

    GOP is God’s Own Party:
    crafting America’s decline
    through Intelligent Design

    (I’m having way too much fun)

  58. 58.

    DesertScorpion

    You know, N.T, it’s not as if my life isn’t already hard enough.

    When the male has identified a suitable location, he deposits the spermatophore and then guides the female over it. This allows the spermatophore to enter her genital opercula, which triggers release of the sperm, thus fertilizing the female. The mating process can take from 1 to 25+ hours and depends on the ability of the male to find a suitable place to deposit his spermatophore. If mating goes on for too long, the female may eventually lose interest, breaking off the process.
    Once the mating is complete, the male and female will separate. The male will generally retreat quickly, most likely to avoid being cannibalized by the female, although sexual cannibalism is infrequent with scorpions.

    But to have to eat Nutella? Puh-leeze.

  68. 68.

    charlotte

    Will Nutella work in place of petrol?

    If not, I still think it’s yummy if spread lightly. On toast.

  69. 69.

    Chris Johnson

    “do the pumpty pump”.

    Don’t you DARE give them ideas unless it ties them to stuff that’s more catastrophic.

    I suggest "Bama’s failin, gimme Palin!". Tie ’em to Caribou Barbie. Even if all hell broke loose and she ended up in power, she would be too busy looting Neiman-Marcus to get into too much trouble.

    …famous last words?

  72. 72.

    Comrade Dread

    @Reverend Dennis

    "Proudly leading America’s fighting men from thousands of miles away in a studio with a comfy chair."

  77. 77.

    ksmiami

    The GOP: Privatized profits and socialized suffering?

    The GOP: Achieving Diversity one token appointment at a time

  80. 80.

    amorphous

    GOP: We’re pallin’ with Palin.

    or

    Take our ball and go home, baby, home.

    /bracing for continuance of epic thread

  82. 82.

    ppcli

    Somehow I think this might be a potential winner in 2010: "So, you finally faced reality and you learned that reality sucks? Come on back to the GOP."

  83. 83.

    tomjones

    Should the GOP really be openly admitting that they need to emphasize style more, instead of trying to get the substance right?

  85. 85.

    Mike G

    And Gary Bauer wants you to stop calling his people the Religious Right and start calling them "socially conservative evangelicals."

    This Onion story comes to mind whenever someone mentions the Religious Right, Limbaugh or the Repigs in general —

    Asshole Admits To Being Asshole In Supreme Asshole Move
    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30572

  86. 86.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    How about this for a GOP slogan (a bit too long perhaps, but it explains so much about the last 8 years)

    "Well, we did do the nose."
    "And the hat,"

    "but she is a witch!"

    [Did you dress her up like this?]

    "No!
    No. No.
    No.
    No.
    No.
    Yes.
    Yes.
    Yes. Yeah, a bit.
    A bit.
    A bit.
    A bit.
    She has got a wart."

  87. 87.

    iluvsummr

    The GOP: drowning government in a bathtub since 1981

    The GOP: keep all your taxes, build your own roads

    The GOP: we put the w in whine

  89. 89.

    Atanarjuat

    The anti-conservative hate is strong in this thread, especially given the slogan challenge. No surprises, of course, given the spiteful nature of the America Last rabble on BJ.

    The upside to all to this leftist thuggery is that at least it’s keeping most of you in front of a PC or laptop, instead of roaming the streets in hopes of mugging a tax-paying Republican.

    Thieves and con men, the whole lot of you. Enjoy your wealth redistributing 30 pieces of ill-gotten silver, courtesy of your Chosen Leader and Thug-in-Chief.

  97. 97.

    gbear

    McPublicans: Over 20 billionaires served.

    Tim Pawlenty’s motto: "Dear Corporate America: I’ve trashed our educational and social systems in order to put money in your pockets. Our cities have fewer cops and more homeless on the street so that you’re investors can receive a better dividend. I’ve defunded infrasturcture repair, higher education, and our state park systems so that you can afford that new home on Lake Minnetonka. So why the fuck are you still leaving the state? Let me show you this new tax cut first.

    PS: TCF just moved their corporate headquarters to South Dakota. The head of TCF is a Pawlenty supporter who actually came up with a hit-list of Republicans that he wanted to defeat because they weren’t conservative enough. Then, when he got stopped for driving his snowmobile too fast, he took a small town to court just for the fun of draining the city’s budget to prosecute him. TCF stands for TWIN fucking CITY fucking FEDERAL. The name isn’t changing when they go to SD.

    As Charlton Heston would say; Pawlenty! You Maniac! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!

  100. 100.

    Ditch Digger

    "Nuke the whales? You can’t really believe that." – Lisa
    "Meh, gotta nuke something" – Nelson
    "Touche" – Lisa

  102. 102.

    Rome Again

    I think they’re going to drop the Drill, baby, drill and opt for kill, baby, kill in the not too distant future.

    Suggestions for Dems?

    Jesus doesn’t like Republican scum!

  103. 103.

    sgwhiteinfla

    I rather like this quote from I Robot with Will Smith so maybe we can just repackage it

    Detective Del Spooner: [to the head of USR] "I don’t usually do this, but since I’m here, I got a great idea for your next commercial. There’s a carpenter, and he builds this beautiful chair. And then a big business owner comes along and builds a better chair twice as fast, for half as much thanks to all the Republican tax breaks and because of their support in helping him keep his workers underpaid and non unionized and then it says: "GOP. Shittin’ on the little guy." Fade out."

    Not necessarily about drilling for oil but I think it still applies.

  105. 105.

    Rome Again

    The anti-conservative hate is strong in this thread

    News for you Atan, Republicans are NOT conservative. There is a lot of Republican hate on this thread, and there should be. Look at what you’ve become. Take a look in the mirror and scream in horror with the rest of us when your eyes behold the shame.

  107. 107.

    Mac from Oregon

    Bury us, baby, bury us.

    Death to American Dems, Vote GOP

    Tippecanoe and Tyler too!

    Old, white and in the way, baby.

  108. 108.

    Francis

    The GOP: Proving that fat, drunk and stupid is a great way to go through life.

    [hat tip to Animal House]

  110. 110.

    ThymeZoneThePlumber

    About half of the calories in Nutella come from fat (11g in a 37g serving, or 99 kcal out of 200 kcal) and about 40% of the calories come from sugar (20g, 80 kcal).[1]

    Fat and sugar! Somehow, that sounds …. Republican.

  112. 112.

    eponymous

    In keeping with the current economic conditions and the GOP hoping the Democrats/Obama/stimulus fail, here’s two:

    GOP to America: Drop Dead (see: New York Post)

    or (from Milton):

    "Tis better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven"

  114. 114.

    jenniebee

    You know it’s going to be something like "America Loses when Liberals Win" but "Leeeeeeeerroooooooooyyyy Jennnnnnkinnnnnnnssss" is more in the spirit of the thing.

  115. 115.

    Manic Depression

    Uh…John…the gentleman in the picture is Humpty-Hump. The song is "The Humpty Dance". The correct exhortation is "do the Humpty Hump", not ‘pumpty pump’. To quote Todd Rundgren "Some Folks is Even Whiter Than Me". That is all.

  116. 116.

    Conservatively Liberal

    GOP:
    * We Define Our Own Reality
    * Down Is Up
    * No Brains Required
    * When Self-Hate Is Not Enough
    * FOR SALE
    * We Do Stuff
    * Some Assembly Required
    * Yes, We Still Exist
    * Lubricate Before Insertion
    * Warning: May Cause Blindness & Anal Leakage
    * Bend Over & Grab Your Ankles
    * Rapture Ready!

    and finally:

    * Shit Happens

  120. 120.

    Steeplejack

    DougJ @ top:

    [. . .] given Steele’s eerie likeness to that guy from Digital Underground [. . .]

    I knew he reminded me of someone! Maybe we could take up a collection and get him a nice gigantic clock necklace thing.

  124. 124.

    R-Jud

    I’m repeating myself here, but I think Obama should’ve busted out the Humpty Dance immediately after taking the oath of office.

    @mikefromtexas:

    Pull my finger. All the grownups use that one. It also involves gas. Win-Win.

    If the GOP were to start merely farting at us instead of shitting all over us, that’d be an improvement. So I don’t see it happening.

    What about "WE WANT PIE!"?

    @Steeplejack:

    Maybe we could take up a collection and get him a nice gigantic clock necklace thing.

    Eh, giant clocks are a Flavor Flav thing, not Humpty Hump. We should get him some Hennessey and crackers and licorice, judging by his own stated preferences.

  126. 126.

    jrg

    "Mexicans want to eat your children. Vote for us."

    "Oil execs know how to run a country, some of them are already running 3 or 4."

    "Al Gore is fat, bitches!"

    "Drill, America hating commie faggot, drill"

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