Just got a new puppy video. Some quick background. My father is a cleaning Nazi- German background, obsessive compulsive cleaner. Weekly cleaning involves dusting and polishing everything in the house, scrubbing the front and back porch, taking down all light fixtures and cleaning the INSIDE of them, and so forth. Formerly painted walls have been wallpapered because they could not get clean enough, and then two years later, had the wallpaper removed and were repainted because, and I quote, “I got bored with it.” Like I said. Nazi.
We also have two living rooms. One where we are allowed to be in, the other which is reserved for… well, I don’t know who is good enough to be allowed in there. Jesus, maybe. The kids, such as we are, are allowed in there for Christmas. The rest of the time- stay out.
The puppies have had a bath, and immediately raced downstairs into the “good” living room, and are bouncing from couch to couch squirming all over the place while my mother video tapes them. In the background, you can hear my father… vacuuming. At the very end of the tape, listen for the “OH MY GOD!” as he sees what my mother and the puppies are up to:
This is a typical day in the life of the Cole family.
JL
How wonderful! Two happy pups to keep the dad busy.
Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse
The Cole family: invented so evil pets could amuse themselves endlessly.
And — AAAAWWWW-dorable!
burnspbesq
Cool. But don’t try that with 125 pound adolescent dogs. Carnage is virtually certain.
Perhaps you should drag Tunch outside and watch the local birds mock his feeble attempts to stalk them. That might lighten your mood.
Bad Horse's Filly
OMG! Cutest thing ever.
joe from Lowell
That is just adorable.
A.Political
LOL.
That was a great laugh to start the morning, thanks.
They’re getting noticeably bigger now.
Bad Horse's Filly
@burnspbesq: Danes? Or something else as gigantic? And yes, 150lb Dane after a bath – get out of the way. 3 Danes? Lock down the house.
garyb50
Incredible ! ! !
Sure loves those pillows.
demkat620
Too much cute for the internets. More please!
Ned R.
Hahah, your dad’s reaction is priceless. Man, those are two cute little buggers. Playing with pillows is clearly what they are designed for.
KRK
Hilarious. I’m not disputing Pa Cole’s cleaning obsession, but this:
is not about cleanliness. The best (and most satisfying way) to "clean" a dingy painted wall is to repaint it. A true cleaning "Nazi" would have every room done in scrubable paint and would repaint at least every two years. That whole wallpaper-it-but-now-I’m bored-with-it episode is something else altogether. Pa Cole has facets!
JL
What happened after your dad said OMG?
David
A bull terrier (they look like this) owner said that she was working in the yard when her dog picked up a 2 x 4 and whacked her in the shin, she fell down and was hit in the head by the wood when the dog turned around. She went to the emergency room for stitches.
A week later, she was on knees trimming the grass with a hand trimmer. When she opened her gate the 140 pound dog jumped against it slamming her head in between the gate and a fence post. She had to go back to the emergency room.
John Cole
@JL: I am going to go out on a limb and guess some yelling. “What are you doing? Ginny! Guesly! Get out of there!” or some variation.
@KRK: He gets bored. Walls cycle in between painting and wallpapering. The people at the carpet/wallpaper store know him by name.
Carnacki
"Nazi"
I can’t believe you Godwinned your own father. ;)
scruncher
Hilarious! I love it. Thanks for the laugh. I needed it. This week was depressing as hell.
Joshua Norton
We had a formal sitting room (they probably called it a drawing room 100 years ago) when I was a kid, too. It had nice glass french doors so you could observe the contents from a safe child proof distance. I don’t think even Jesus would have been allowed in there. His feet would probably have been too muddy from walking on all that water and everything. Only time we were really allowed in it was Christmas morning or to be ooh-and-aahed over for a few minutes by the fossilized relatives who would drop by occasionally to drink tea out of great-great grandma’s Rosenthal.
Probably just as well that we weren’t allowed to go in there. The family room looked like the battle of Dunkirk took place on a daily basis.
Bad Horse's Filly
@David: Oh the stories I could tell: broken nose, dislocated shoulder, black eyes…it goes on. Wouldn’t change a minute of it, mind you, but yes I totally understand what happened to your friend.
burnspbesq
@Bad Horse’s Filly:
Great Pyrenees.
linda
that ‘oh my god’ at the end is priceless; i hope your dad’s recovered…lol
Ivan Ivanovich Renko
The absolutely horrified tone in your dad’s voice made for major belly-laughs here. And of course, the pups are cute as hell– but then, they areJRTs.
Bad Horse's Filly
@burnspbesq: Hope you’ve got a furminator :-)
EEH
The pups are so cute and your dad’s reaction is priceless!
Geez, does your dad ever bring back the memories for me. My mom’s parents were from Germany so I know exactly where you are coming from and I spent many a weekend before I left home for college carrying out the afore mentioned cleaning activities for her.
Carnacki, I’ve often said the same thing about Mom.
passerby
Ha! Man they were running their jowls all over those seat cushions. Bet that won’t happen again. Looks like Guesly opted for the sofa where he could get up a little head of steam.
It reminds me of my beloved dachshund, Andouille, who after a bath would rip and run through the house making figure eights. Never on the furniture though.
Now, I have a cat…and the furniture reflects that (shrugs). I got tired of oh-my-god-ing about the claw damage.
BTW, how’re they doing in Obedience School?
Svensker
Ha ha ha. They have so much energy, I had to take a Xanax to calm myself down after watching that.
(Does your dad want to come and stay at my house for a week or so?)
Svensker
Am I moderated for mentioning X-an-ax?
Carnacki
I wonder how much time your Dad spent afterwards cleaning the pillows and furniture of wet dog hair. I was a cleaning Nazi when I was single and then when I got married and we had kids I experienced my winter in Russia moment and have lived in full retreat since. I identify with your Dad’s "Oh my God" except with me it’s from the children.
Genine
OMG! That is so sweet. Your dad’s reaction is hilarious.
I see you come by some things naturally.
Punchy
Contrast that with racing greyhounds–they’re so used to baths, showers, human-designed cleaning in general…..they get out the bathtub n just stand there like, "Ok, what’s next?". No freakout, no scowls, no scratches on my arms.
Libby Spencer
Too funny and those pups just keep getting cuter.
AhabTExpropriator
Hey, at least it is a symbiotic relationship. The more mess the puppies make, the less "bored" your father will be.
Matt
Hah! I guess that’s kind of a terrier thing. My miniature schnauzer will do the exact same thing after a bath. I can only assume that the thought process is something like: "MY BEARD IS WET! I MUST DRY IT! AAAAAAAH!"
Annie
Maybe having this two living room thing is a Western Pennsylvania/West Virginia tradition.
I grew up in Pittsburgh. My home, and all of my friends homes, had the family room to trash, and the living room to avoid, unless company came. My mother kept sheets on the living room furniture that were only removed when really, really important people came to call.
My brother and I always gauged the importance of visitors but how fast my mother removed the sheets from the furniture. When we got older, my brother and I swore an oath that our homes would be "sheet" free zones. (Except on beds of course…)
Twenty years later, my living room furniture have sheets.
We have two monster cats. One, Diesel (his is Diesel because he purrs continually and sounds like a diesel engine), is white and reminds of us of "Pigpen" from Charlie Brown. Diesel has a circle of white fur surrounding him wherever he goes. It is easier to keep sheets on the living room furniture than to have to brush the furniture every day.
Thanks John. Haven’t thought about the "sheets" in a long time!
Linkmeister
Parlor is the word desired, I think.
Our pointer used to do what we called "the nose dive" to dry off; she’d lower her shoulder and push her muzzle along the carpet, alternating sides every minute or so.
I’m thinking I’m too old for JRTs, but boy are they cute.
KevinD
We had one of those in my house, and of course it was the dog’s favorite room.
burnspbesq
@Bad Horse’s Filly:
Not yet. But 2008 bonuses get paid out next Friday. They’re going to suck, and we’ve already figured out that the ratio of cash to restricted stock is going to be much worse than last year. But who knows – I might get enough to buy one Furminator per dog, and a bag of M&Ms to boot. Woo-hoo! Good times!
J.
Your mother is one lucky woman, John Cole. I am happy when my spouse manages to get his dirty clothes in the laundry and takes out the garbage on Sunday night.
Whatever your mother is paying your dad to clean, I will double – no TRIPLE – it!
Clearly the puppies were excited about Pitt beating UConn. Leave ’em alone, I say.
Betsy
@burnspbesq:
Burnsie! We been missin ya!
Church Lady
The video was quite funny. I would imagine that your father quickly started vacuuming the dog hair off the sofa and chair, while grumbling under his breath about your mother and the puppies. Good thing the vacuum was so handy. :)
My least favorite thing my dogs do is to scrape their rear ends on the carpet. For some reason, this usually happens right after I have run the vacuum. Then it’s time to pull the carpet cleaner out and then re-vacuum. Ah, just one of the joys of pet ownership!
CaseyL
Too funny. Too adorable. The Cole Family (and I include the pups) is a complete hoot.
Thanks for sharing :)
BTW: The living room/parlor thing is also a Philadelphia trait, or at least it is in my family. Having a room to put "nice" furniture in, and use it only for Very Special Occasions, was considered a sign of having really and truly reached respectable adulthood.
Naturally, I have no such thing; I’ve avoided that whole "respectable adult" thing all my life, and see no reason to change now.
p.a.
We had the ‘den’- for the nuclear family unit, and the ‘parlor’-for visitors only except at Christmas when the tree and presents were placed there and used as a photo backdrop.
Also, I think this is an ethnic thing here with large pluralities of Italian- and Portuguese-Americans, but most every home, and I’m talking modest starter house, 2 family, or tenement had a basement (cellar) full kitchen where much of the cooking took place. Not talking families with 7 kids like my grandparents’ generation, but 1,2,3 kids and homes with 2 full fridges, 2nd stove (gas if the other was electric and vice-versa), and probably also a freezer.
Lavocat
Thank you, John. That was great.
I must say that one of the reasons why I drop by this site multiple times a day is to get my daily dose of Tunch, Ginny, Guesly, and other interesting tidbits about Clan Cole.
And, yes, Tunch is probably going to kill you in your sleep.
Josh Hueco
Missy does the same thing after a bath. It’s a hoot!
Lauren
John, are you saying you’re still not allowed in the formal living room?
JL
@p.a.: I had a friend who was Italian, and their basement kitchen turned out some excellent food.
Delia
I could use a cleaning Nazi at my house but only for a week or so.
Those dogs are great. We need some more cute animal overload. It’s been a bad week.
Puggles
That is too cute!!
Krista
That is just too adorable — Dreyf used to do the same thing after his bath: run around the living room and rub himself over all of the furniture.
A lot of families I know had the formal living room. My mom has been friends with this lady named Helen for going on 40 years now. She has NEVER sat in Helen’s formal living room. Not at Christmas, not at fancy dinners, never. I don’t know if she expects royalty to visit, but if so, I even have my doubts about them being allowed to sit in that room. I think the formal living room will pretty much go the way of the dodo bird with our generation. Most of my peers who do have houses, have a living room, and if they’ve finished the basement at all, a rec room.
John Cole
@Lauren: Pretty much. It is just for the best if I do not go in there.
JenJen
"Oh my God!" Damn, that was funny, John.
Whenever I have friends who talk to me about possibly getting their first-ever dog, I always leave that "wet dog will roll all over your nice dry furniture" part out. Better to let them figure that one out on their own. :-)
josefina
The formal living room thing is more generational than geographic, I think. I grew up in a small town in central Texas among a pretty tight group of families. We were the only family that didn’t have a separate living room. (My godparents practically shrink-wrapped the furniture in theirs.) Our house was known as "the fun house." And that’s why I’m a DFH today.
Actually, no. I’m the only DFH in my lineage.
Joshua Norton
Actually, before the ’50’s and the advent of everyone using a funeral home, my family apparently unsealed the formal room for funerals also. I remember being totally creeped out when my grandmother explained that the bend in the hallway going into her sitting room was referred to as a "coffin corner".
Wile E. Quixote
Thank you for posting that. I agree that the formal living room is generational. We never really had one, my sisters and I used to run around in our family room while my parents were upstairs in the living room, but we didn’t have the whole "Oh my God! What are those children doing in the living room" kind of thing, but I had friends who had parents who did. None of my friends has a formal living room, which always seemed like a contradiction in terms, since nobody actually did any "living" in those rooms.
You can just see the dogs thinking "Wow, this living room furniture is really absorptive. How come they never let us down here?
hana
I LOVE that your dad has two living rooms, or a parlor and a family room. That is so wonderfully bourgeois! (Meant in the nicest way, it just is, you know.) My grandparents had a tiny house in England, Granddad was a coal miner, they had five kids. Fully half the downstairs was devoted to a "front room" where no-one ever went. Because it was really really important that you had a pristine front room, even if you were reduced to lard sandwiches for your children.
Also, my bourgeois self doesn’t have Jack Russell puppies for exactly this reason. Mind the furniture!
Comrade Stuck
Though I didn’t grow there, my father and step-mother had a room like that, that seemed to be devoid of dust or any living creature, right down to the single cell ones. Needless to say, when I came to visit with my cigarettes (non smoker now) and Budweiser cans, and well worn country boots, my step mother watched me like a hawk with a look that said, go in there and you die.
robertdsc
A great vid to take the edge off a shitty day at work. Thanks, John.
Down and Out of Sài Gòn
Good one, John. Keep the kitten and puppy pics going. I love showing them to my wife; it always makes her smile.
Tony Alva
Ah, that living room… The one reserved for school administrators when they came to talk to the folks with conversations that started with, "It’s not that Tony is a bad kid per se…"
mama whiskers aka cleaning baseboards
We had a nice living room when I was growing up. It has been taken over by my mom’s dog now – he is also allowed to eat treats in there!! When we were little we were naturally not allowed to eat in there.
That was just adorable and delightful – cute cubed. It’s okay dad, they *are* clean!
serge
That’s fucking hilarious…my father had similar Saturday habits, just without the pups to liven things up.
Vicki Watts
I think this is hilarious!!! LOL Tell your Mom and Dad I said hi…. The babies look very happy and healthy..