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You are here: Home / “Obama refers to America in the third person, as a foreigner would…”

“Obama refers to America in the third person, as a foreigner would…”

by John Cole|  March 10, 20093:28 pm| 119 Comments

This post is in: Clown Shoes

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I was reading this Jesse Taylor post, and came across his description of the Conservapedia entry on President Obama, in which he claimed it had the “wingnuttiest introduction possible.” As a connoisseur of the wingnut genre and recovering wingnut myself, I had to dive in for a taste:

Barack Hussein Obama II (allegedly[1][2][3] born in Honolulu Aug. 4, 1961) is the 44th president of the United States, and previously served as a first-term Democratic Senator from Illinois (2004-2008). Obama and his running mate Senator Joseph Biden won the presidential election[4] after 23 months of campaigning, raising an unprecedented $750 million and spending over $700 million of it,[5] most of which came from anonymous donors. Post-election, Obama’s aides surprised some by indicating that he would make an unprecedented speech within his first 100 days from a Muslim capital.[6] Obama used his Muslim middle name when sworn in as President,[7][8] and chose not to use the Bible for his real, private oath. Elected by claiming he’s a Christian, Obama has since avoided attending church on Christmas and Sundays.[9]

Obama refers to America in the third person, as a foreigner would. In his first television interview after becoming president, Obama declared that “all too often the United States starts by dictating.” Earlier, when Obama gave his acceptance speech, he said “We may not get there in one year or even one term, but America – I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there.”[10]

That is 100% pure wingnut, alright. Pharmaceutical grade.

Seriously, that has to be spoof.

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Reader Interactions

119Comments

  1. 1.

    Evinfuilt

    March 10, 2009 at 3:30 pm

    We are amused…

  2. 2.

    Roger Moore

    March 10, 2009 at 3:33 pm

    I especially like the way that they manage to make the claim about him referring to America in the third person in the same paragraph that they quote him referring to it in the first person. Oh well, consistency was never a wingnut strongpoint in the first place.

  3. 3.

    slag

    March 10, 2009 at 3:33 pm

    Can we change "Wingnut" to "Clown Shoes"? If so, those are some giant Clown Shoes right there.

  4. 4.

    Barry Soetoro

    March 10, 2009 at 3:35 pm

    Obama said the Muslim call to prayer is "one of the prettiest sounds on Earth at sunset," and recited "with a first-class Arabic accent" the opening lines: Allah is Supreme! … I witness that there is no god but Allah …."

    How do they know that, and why is it bad?

    This Conservapedia reads like a hate group’s recruiting tool. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn various hate groups like Stormfront.org link to the Conservapedia.

  5. 5.

    Davis X. Machina

    March 10, 2009 at 3:37 pm

    My theory: Obama’s just trying to avoid a copyright hassle with Colbert’s "I Am America, And So Can You."

    Me, I’m just happy to have a president who understands subject-verb agreement in grammatical number again. No longer is the question asked, is our children learning.

  6. 6.

    Stooleo

    March 10, 2009 at 3:37 pm

    Obama and his running mate Senator Joseph Biden won the presidential election[4] after 23 months of campaigning, raising an unprecedented $750 million and spending over $700 million of it,[5] most of which came from anonymous donors.

    It seems to be dripping with a weird combination of envy and contempt. Ah, to be a Republican these days.. Haha..

  7. 7.

    Wile E. Quixote

    March 10, 2009 at 3:37 pm

    "Pharmaceutical grade"? No, I think that this is pure quill Weapons Grade Wingnut, which is not only more pure but is also alliterative.

  8. 8.

    jibeaux

    March 10, 2009 at 3:38 pm

    I dunno, if it doesn’t have any gay sex in it I don’t see how it’s going to get the kind of traffic the rest of conservapedia gets…

  9. 9.

    DarrenG

    March 10, 2009 at 3:38 pm

    Yeah, that’s pretty much spot-on with the current talk radio slime stream.

    Not spoof at all, unfortunately. I’ve seen too many of these same ‘arguments’ in recent discussions with wingnut friends (and friends of wingnut friends) — it’s only a matter of time before the WSJ editorial page picks up the drumbeat and starts writing ominous "questions remain" articles.

  10. 10.

    The Other Steve

    March 10, 2009 at 3:39 pm

    Have you read Dr. Kate?

    http://texasdarlin.wordpress.com/2009/03/08/the-rise-of-the-american-patriot/

    It’s mega awesome wingnutty.

  11. 11.

    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford

    March 10, 2009 at 3:39 pm

    I followed that same link and was left slackjawed at teh stupid.

    Strangely, I take comfort from that Conservapedia page on Obama. It would be one thing if Republicans/Conservatives only lied to Democrats and Independents. But they lie to themselves, too. And when you lie to yourself you never learn.

    As long as Republicans keep insisting that Obama is teh Muslim the Democrats will keep winning.

  12. 12.

    The Other Steve

    March 10, 2009 at 3:41 pm

    And one thing… Compare it to this:

    http://www.dkosopedia.com/wiki/George_W._Bush

    Is it much different?

  13. 13.

    Ryan S.

    March 10, 2009 at 3:43 pm

    Seriously, that has to be spoof.

    Welcome to the right wing insanity that is Conservapedia, and they are deadly serious. That Mr. Assfly’s homeschoolers encyclopedia.

    For the best of Conservapedia though you need to visit RationalWiki.

  14. 14.

    Tsulagi

    March 10, 2009 at 3:43 pm

    Obama refers to America in the third person, as a foreigner would.

    That’s because he’s The Manchurian Candidate. Duh. Conservapedia could tell you that. In fact they do…

    In modern day usage, to describe a political candidate as a "Manchurian Candidate" is to say that they are hiding their real beliefs in hope of being elected, and afterwords able to advance their hidden agenda. Barack Obama is frequently accused of being a Muslim Manchurian Candidate, by sources such as WorldNetDaily and others.

  15. 15.

    NonyNony

    March 10, 2009 at 3:44 pm

    @J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford:

    It would be one thing if Republicans/Conservatives only lied to Democrats and Independents. But they lie to themselves, too. And when you lie to yourself you never learn.

    This is a fairly concise summary of why the GOP is so screwed up right now.

    When I was growing up, the argument was always "Well, the GOP may not be perfect but at least they stand for something – Democrats don’t stand for anything". I still hear people say that but it just makes me laugh – the GOP may stand for something, but who can tell what it is? You can’t trust them to tell you what they stand for – they’ve been lying for so long that I’m not even sure that they know what their "core principles" are anymore.

  16. 16.

    EriktheRed

    March 10, 2009 at 3:45 pm

    They just can’t coccoon themselves enough, can they.

    I see a whole bunch of the guys just sitting around in a big circle-jerk looking at a pic Gov. Mooseburger winking while moaning "tax cuts, tax cuts".

  17. 17.

    The Cat Who Would Be Tunch

    March 10, 2009 at 3:45 pm

    The right’s fascination with Obama’s middle name fascinates me. Posts like these always remind me of a headline I saw somewhere on the intertubes:

    Middle East Politician Faces Stigma Over Middle Name: "Smith"

  18. 18.

    El Tiburon

    March 10, 2009 at 3:45 pm

    When Conservapedia is taught next to Intelligent Design in all of our Government Schools, who will be laughing then, funny boy.

  19. 19.

    Rob in Denver

    March 10, 2009 at 3:45 pm

    The behind-the-scenes discussion about the page are even funnier.

    Fox News is reporting that Obama will use the Lincoln Bible to be sworn in [2]. I think it’s fairly safe to say that it will not be a koran. I also think it is safe to say that this is exactly the kind of trickery a manchurian muslim would use. Is it worth a mention in the "likely muslim" section?

    Barack Obama… a tricky manchurian muslim.

  20. 20.

    BMAC

    March 10, 2009 at 3:46 pm

    Don’t neglect to read the "talk page" for some really meaty wingnuttery.

  21. 21.

    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford

    March 10, 2009 at 3:47 pm

    @The Other Steve:

    I love how on "See also" there is a link to "George Bush finds men attractive."

    Strangley, the link to "George Bush doesn’t care about black people" is missing.

  22. 22.

    JenJen

    March 10, 2009 at 3:47 pm

    "Pharmaceutical-grade Wingnut."

    Nice!!

  23. 23.

    Comrade Stuck

    March 10, 2009 at 3:48 pm

    “We may not get there in one year or even one term, but America – I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there.”[

    Haramph!. What these wizards don’t understand is that he is referring to construction of the worlds first Wingnut Neutron Bomb, funded George Soros and designed by the two Al’s Gore and Sharpton. It’s a two-fer weapon to fix Global warming by targeting only wingnut gas bags.

    Bwaa Haa haa ha beewaa tee ha!

  24. 24.

    joe from Lowell

    March 10, 2009 at 3:48 pm

    When Conservapedia is taught next to Intelligent Design in all of our Government Schools, who will be laughing then, funny boy.

    The students, I imagine.

  25. 25.

    Rick Taylor

    March 10, 2009 at 3:48 pm

    Off topic (except it is "clown shoes"), but CNBC made the mistake of taking on Jim Stewart and so of course he responded, taking Jim Cramer to pieces. Really they should have kept quiet and hoped it would all blow over. Via Matt Yglesias.

  26. 26.

    Adrienne

    March 10, 2009 at 3:49 pm

    Seriously, that has to be spoof.

    Nope, that’s just good ol’ fashioned spoof-proof, weapons-grade, uranium enriched, titanium encased wingnuttery.

    Seriously, dude, I tried to think of something to mock them with but I got nothing. Total mock-block®

  27. 27.

    NonyNony

    March 10, 2009 at 3:50 pm

    @Ryan S.:

    Welcome to the right wing insanity that is Conservapedia, and they are deadly serious. That Mr. Assfly’s homeschoolers encyclopedia.

    Strangely, I know there’s a game where self-styled Discordians try to write a passage that is as wingnutty as possible, but not so over-the-top as to become so obvious a mockery of wingnut thought that the piece gets yanked.

    Which means that things that are being created as a mockery of conservative wingnuttery are getting internalized as "real" conservative wingnuttery and there are people chuckling when they hear Lou Dobbs or Glen Beck or Random Internet Messageboarder or whoever pass on some tidbit that they made up and stuck on Conservapedia themselves. We live in interesting times.

  28. 28.

    The Grand Panjandrum

    March 10, 2009 at 3:50 pm

    @The Other Steve: It’s a well known fact that if W had not been the son of a former President, and his mother’s picture wasn’t on the dollar bill he would never have been elected the first time.

  29. 29.

    mike

    March 10, 2009 at 3:51 pm

    The artist inserts the hose and fills himself with paint. … Now he’ll projectile release the paint onto the canvas. … He calls it "enemart." It represents the waste of his life

    –Page Henson (Angie Harmon) to Ryan Turner (Charlie Sheen), in the film "Good Advice."

  30. 30.

    trizzlor

    March 10, 2009 at 3:51 pm

    Who could resist this diagram from the TD site:

    http://texasdarlin.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/diagram.jpg?w=500&h=402

    My favorite part is the question mark leading to market collapse!

  31. 31.

    SpotWeld

    March 10, 2009 at 3:51 pm

    You’ve only scratched the surface man. It’s wingnut all the way down.

    See the essay: :Greatest Mysteries of World History

    9: Did genuine humor exist prior to Christianity?

    After some dicussion on the talk page with examples of Pre-Christian humor, the blog-owner Andy Schafly noted:

    The pre-Christian examples don’t withstand scrutiny. Mockery or crude comments are not quality humor, and may not be humor at all

    Andy, of course, is the author of this awesome piece of "humor".

    I further direct you to Rationalwiki which is chock-full of records of the wing-nuttery,

  32. 32.

    different church-lady

    March 10, 2009 at 3:52 pm

    Hey, at least the entry actually acknowledges the fact that he IS the president.

    I’m sure someone will "correct" it soon to read "…is allegedly the 44th president…"

  33. 33.

    Napoleon

    March 10, 2009 at 3:52 pm

    "Pharmaceutical-grade Wingnut."

    Actually what I think you mean is "Schedule 1 Narcotic Grade Wingnut"

  34. 34.

    jcricket

    March 10, 2009 at 3:54 pm

    "Pharmaceutical-grade Wingnut."

    Clearly that’s what Limbaugh’s been stuffing in his craw. More addictive than meth, but you can’t OD on it.

  35. 35.

    Brick Oven Bill

    March 10, 2009 at 3:55 pm

    100% Wingnut? Those guys are amateurs:

    Obama won the popular election by promising over a trillion dollars worth of new social spending, and pledged to fund it by raising taxes on only 5% of the population. He did not disclose that the proceeds of this tax would only yield $33 billion in new funding, covering less than 3% of his promises, when the Galt Effect is taken in to account.

    Obama promised that he would not hire lobbyists, and then did. Obama promised to go through legislation line-by-line, and remove ear-marks, and then did not. Obama pledged to post legislation online for five days, and then didn’t because the legislation was, like, urgent, which is why he waited four days to sign it.

    His first tax increase was on cigarettes, raising the cost of a pack of smokes by $0.60. His second tax increase was the act of printing money, deflating the currency. President Obama’s next proposal is the cap and trade tax, another regressive tax that will double the utility bills of working class Americans.

    The President is currently funding several legal teams to counter a seemingly credible accusation by Philip Berg, and refuses to produce his birth certificate, which would cost him $38, according to a commenter named Martin at a Web-Site named Balloon Juice. This refusal to produce the birth certificate has been the subject of controversy, as, if he was really born in Hawaii, he could get in, like, 5 minutes.

    Obama is known for his excellent tastes in wine, is an accomplished practitioner of the teleprompter arts, and selected Tim Geithner to run the IRS.

  36. 36.

    The Cat Who Would Be Tunch

    March 10, 2009 at 3:55 pm

    @different church-lady: Please don’t give them ideas.

  37. 37.

    Sean Carroll

    March 10, 2009 at 3:56 pm

    Nobody quoted this one yet??

    The Association of American Physicians and Surgeons observed that Obama uses techniques of mind control in his speeches and campaign symbols. One Obama speech declared, "a light will shine down from somewhere, it will light upon you, you will experience an epiphany, and you will say to yourself, ‘I have to vote for Barack.’"[24]

  38. 38.

    calipygijan

    March 10, 2009 at 3:57 pm

    Even better is the World Net Daily/Fox News fauxtraversy about Obama’s Wikipedia entry.

    Let’s just say it doesn’t end pretty for the delusional side:

    Klein found it particularly alarming that a Wikipedia user called "Jerusalem21" was recently hit with a three-day wiki-suspension after twice posting the neutral and encyclopedic fact that there are "some doubts about whether Obama was born in the U.S. "

    Of more interest is the identity of the mysterious Jerusalem21, whose courageous disregard of Wikipedia’s ban on fringe material provided WND’s Aaron Klein with his smoking gun in the first place, spawning what will soon be a national wiki-scandal.

    Curiously, it turns out that Jerusalem21, whoever he or she might be, has only worked on one other Wikipedia entry since the account was created, notes ConWebWatch. That’s Aaron Klein’s entry, which Jerusalem21 created in 2006, and has edited 37 times.

    Klein, who serves as WND’s Jerusalem bureau chief, did not immediate respond to an e-mail Monday.

    Heh indeedy, indeed.

  39. 39.

    SpotWeld

    March 10, 2009 at 3:57 pm

    Seriously.. is B.O.B. a spoofer or not?
    After looking at Conservapedia I honestly can’t tell!

  40. 40.

    Carnacki

    March 10, 2009 at 3:57 pm

    "Seriously, that has to be spoof."

    Seriously, can they even be spoofed any more? No matter how far you walk it out to spoof them, if you look around you’ll see they’re already there.

  41. 41.

    Ash Can

    March 10, 2009 at 3:58 pm

    Whew…I’d be careful about getting too close to that entry with an open flame.

  42. 42.

    Objective Scrutator

    March 10, 2009 at 3:59 pm

    First, Obama said he would have face-to-face meetings with two of Florida’s most feared enemies, Fidel Castro and Hugo Chavez. Florida is a key state to any presidential ambitions.

    Conservapedia is right, you know. Florida has much to fear by these Commies preparing to invade it.

    Edit:

    Obama is the first presidential candidate to reject public financing. He broke his promise to accept it in the hope that his powerful fund-raising machine would generate far more money than the $84.1 million McCain is getting in public funding. Indeed, on August 14th, the Obama campaign announced it had received donations from 2 million individuals, setting new records. Obama raised $272 million for the primaries and expects to raise $300 million for the general election. However the Republican National Committee has been raising much more than the Democratic National Committee and each candidate had about $100 million in cash on September 1. Each expects to spend about $300 million by November. However, Obama is obliged to devote much of his time to fund raising among supporters rather than campaigning among undecided voters.[115] Among his backers is homosexual pornography baron Terrence Bean.

  43. 43.

    SpotWeld

    March 10, 2009 at 4:00 pm

    @Carnacki

    Poe’s law

  44. 44.

    ccham44

    March 10, 2009 at 4:00 pm

    My favorite part of that entry has always been "allegedly born in Honolulu…"

    Not for the obvious reasons, but because the construction of the sentence makes his birth the "alleged" event, not it’s location. I’ve often wondered if the writer intended this.

    The fact that it’s a possibility worth considering pretty much sums up the stupid that knows no bounds.

  45. 45.

    Warren Terra

    March 10, 2009 at 4:01 pm

    Pharmaceutical-grade Wingnut

    OK, I’ll bite: for what would a doctor prescribe "Pharmaceutical-grade Wingnut"?

  46. 46.

    Napoleon

    March 10, 2009 at 4:03 pm

    @Warren Terra:

    When a rash develops after you see starbursts.

  47. 47.

    cleek

    March 10, 2009 at 4:03 pm

    how about this comment: spoof or not ?

  48. 48.

    bago

    March 10, 2009 at 4:04 pm

    Pack as many bits as possible into a byte. That is some premium retardation right there.

  49. 49.

    jcricket

    March 10, 2009 at 4:04 pm

    OK, I’ll bite: for what would a doctor prescribe "Pharmaceutical-grade Wingnut"?

    To repair the damage caused by 18 years of indoctrination in our treasonous public education institutions and to counteract a lifetime of bias from reading the liberal media’s communistic anti-American lies.

  50. 50.

    Comrade Stuck

    March 10, 2009 at 4:05 pm

    @Carnacki:

    Seriously, can they even be spoofed any more? No matter how far you walk it out to spoof them, if you look around you’ll see they’re already there.

    Is it really spoof when the spoofing is praised by the spoofed?

    Your daily wingnut zenpuzzler.

  51. 51.

    Ryan S.

    March 10, 2009 at 4:05 pm

    @NonyNony: Yes, but I would argue a sort of "Turing Test" phenomenon wherein if it is indistinguishable from the real thing then ipso facto it is the real thing. For instance lets assume that Rushbo himself doesn’t believe his BS but he is so good at it. Having accumulated such a following that it nolonger matters what he believes what is real is the persona that he has created.

  52. 52.

    Zifnab

    March 10, 2009 at 4:07 pm

    @different church-lady: Didn’t someone point out that because the inauguration was twenty minutes late (or several days late, depending on whether you believe the whole bit about Roberts’s gaffe voiding the legitimacy of the Oath), Joe Biden was technically President during the interm?

  53. 53.

    jcricket

    March 10, 2009 at 4:07 pm

    Is it really spoof when the spoofing is praised by the spoofed?

    Your daily wingnut zenpuzzler.

    How much spoof could a wingnut spoof if a wingnut could spoof wingnut?

  54. 54.

    anonevent

    March 10, 2009 at 4:07 pm

    @Davis X. Machina: I’m trying to clean out my email at work – starting a new job soon – and ran across this quote from Bush before he was president:

    This is a world that is much more uncertain than the past. In the past we were certain, we were certain it was us versus the Russians in the past. We were certain, and therefore we had huge nuclear arsenals aimed at each other to keep the peace. That’s what we were certain of. … You see, even though it’s an uncertain world, we’re certain of some things. We’re certain that even though the ‘evil empire’ may have passed, evil still remains. We’re certain there are people that can’t stand what America stands for. … We’re certain there are madmen in this world, and there’s terror, and there’s missiles and I’m certain of this, too: I’m certain to maintain the peace, we better have a military of high morale, and I’m certain that under this administration, morale in the military is dangerously low."—Albuquerque, N.M., the Washington Post, May 31, 2000

  55. 55.

    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford

    March 10, 2009 at 4:09 pm

    @The Other Steve:

    Wow! That is crazy!

    "Get out of the City. Head to a red state for your safety, to reduce living costs and take advantage of the independence of these states. The cities may erupt in flames and destruction and will be the first place any armed forces land. Come and find out why people live in the west…..yes I am shamelessly touting the non-populated portions of the Rockies…

    We must place the powers of government into such hands as will secure for us the ends for which the government was first designed.

    I assert that the time is now to move in a strategic way forward, and to take this on as the battle of our lifetimes.

    Ah ha. Now I know one of the reasons I am here."

    Yep.

  56. 56.

    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford

    March 10, 2009 at 4:11 pm

    @J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford:

    I formatted that better than it turned out.

  57. 57.

    Catsy

    March 10, 2009 at 4:13 pm

    And one thing… Compare it to this: [http://www.dkosopedia.com/wiki/George_W._Bush] Is it much different?

    Only in the same sense that the GOS differs from Fox News.

    The main page of dKosopedia says:

    Welcome to the dKosopedia, a collaborative project of the DailyKos community to build a political encyclopedia. The dKosopedia is written from a left/progressive/liberal/Democratic point of view while also attempting to fairly acknowledge the other side’s take.

    Conservapedia, by contrast, tries laughably to bill itself as a "trustworthy" alternative to Wikipedia, a family-friendly encyclopedia that is far more reliable than the dreaded Big Wiki.

    In the end what makes Conservapedia so funny and so worthy of mockery is that, much like the cartoon characters that make up its elected officials, they take themselves so very seriously that they’re entirely unaware of how ridiculous they are.

    The fact that it’s run by Andy Schlafly is just icing on the cake.

    For maximum fun value, Do yourself a favor and read their "How Conservapedia Differs from Wikipedia page, as well as their even funnier Bias in Wikipedia article. The emo butthurt that the admins have towards Wikipedia for the latter’s success just absolutely radiates off the page.

    Seriously, that has to be spoof.

    Some of it may well be. When Conservapedia first went up, it was deluged by pranksters mobying their hearts out by making edits that drew their humor value from being largely indistinguishable from actual wingnuttery. Ataranjizzmop could learn a few things there.

  58. 58.

    Dave Herman

    March 10, 2009 at 4:14 pm

    I hear he’s skipped every Christmas since he was inaugurated.

  59. 59.

    SpotWeld

    March 10, 2009 at 4:15 pm

    Okay… quiz time.
    Let’s take it as a given that there is an equally nutty left-wing fringe out there. (Code Pink? Peta? It’s all arguable, but let’s take it as a given it is out there.)

    So. Compare Conservapedia with the most notable Right-wing pundits and media representitives. How far are they seperated.

    Now compare the really far left with any liberal media representatives…

    Okay. Compare and contrast?

  60. 60.

    TheFountainHead

    March 10, 2009 at 4:16 pm

    Does anyone know if there are side-effects to being exposed to this much Wingnut at once? I mean, what if I get mugged on the way home from work? Will I be able to take the gun seriously after this?

  61. 61.

    TheFountainHead

    March 10, 2009 at 4:16 pm

    Bah, double post.

    Insert witty follow-up comment here.

  62. 62.

    Joshua Norton

    March 10, 2009 at 4:18 pm

    yes I am shamelessly touting the non-populated portions of the Rockies…

    I fully agree. I think all wingnut-rapturist-sociopaths should only live in non-populated parts of the country. I wonder how long it would take them to devolve into witch burning. Or even cannibalism when they realized the nearest Walmart was a couple hundred miles away. Probably somewhere between lunch and dinner of the first day if they combined the two.

  63. 63.

    sgwhiteinfla

    March 10, 2009 at 4:19 pm

    Best quote of the entry

    The Association of American Physicians and Surgeons observed that Obama uses techniques of mind control in his speeches and campaign symbols.

    I think its reasonable to say that any sane person would have clicked away from the website at that point in the entry if they were looking for credible information.

  64. 64.

    Jon H

    March 10, 2009 at 4:19 pm

    "OK, I’ll bite: for what would a doctor prescribe "Pharmaceutical-grade Wingnut"?"

    It’s like ipecac for people who haven’t developed a tolerance.

  65. 65.

    passerby

    March 10, 2009 at 4:20 pm

    That is 100% pure wingnut, alright. Pharmaceutical grade.

    Good turn of phrase, John. May I use that?

    @Davis X. Machina:

    M

    y theory: Obama’s just trying to avoid a copyright hassle with Colbert’s "I Am America, And So Can You."

    Ha!

    [Edit: oops, M got away.]

  66. 66.

    Joshua Norton

    March 10, 2009 at 4:21 pm

    Obama uses techniques of mind control in his speeches and campaign symbols.

    "These are not the Liberals you’re looking for".

    I never thought I’d live to see the day when "Star Wars" was considered to be a documentary.

  67. 67.

    SpotWeld

    March 10, 2009 at 4:23 pm

    @Joshua Norton

    You weren’t very old during the Regan years, were you?

  68. 68.

    dmsilev

    March 10, 2009 at 4:23 pm

    Pfft. You can tell where their priorities really lie by looking at the Most Viewed Pages. The top four are:

    Atheism (4,717,563)
    Main Page (4,476,883)
    Homosexuality (3,275,051)
    Barack Hussein Obama (1,024,631)

    Teh Gheys are three times as bad as our Islamofascocommunist President.

    -dms

  69. 69.

    jibeaux

    March 10, 2009 at 4:25 pm

    @cleek:

    Hard to say. "Troof" could be the evil spawn of troll + spoof, but it could also be racist patois for truth.

    I like it better when the spoofs pick handles like Sandy Cooter.

  70. 70.

    Dennis-SGMM

    March 10, 2009 at 4:25 pm

    @J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford:
    "Get out of the City. Head to a red state for your safety, to reduce living costs and take advantage of the independence of these states. …"

    Right; the red states are independent of everything but federal dollars. Absent tax money harvested in the blue states those independent souls would have to take turns pulling the plow.

  71. 71.

    TheFountainHead

    March 10, 2009 at 4:26 pm

    @dmsilev: I just have to figure that most of those pageview counts are inflated by the rest of the world going to take a look for themselves and have a laugh. Real conservatives don’t need Conservapedia because God downloads this knowledge into their brains.

  72. 72.

    Rick Taylor

    March 10, 2009 at 4:27 pm

    Oh my God, they even have wingnut math. There are pages about Fermat’s Last Theorem and the Axiom of Choice that largely make sense, but then there are passages that give away they don’t really know what they’re talking about. I had thought mathematics was at least immune to winguttia. To be fair, this is what always happens when someone who’s not a mathematician attempts to pontificate on mathematics.

    Use of the Axiom of Choice has led to some seemingly absurd results. In the Banach-Tarski Paradox, the Axiom of Choice is used to prove that a solid sphere of infinitely divisible parts may be chopped up and reconstructed as two new spheres of identical size, thereby creating 2 out of only 1. This paradox is proven only through use of the Axiom of Choice, and the authors of this proof did so to criticize this Axiom. One attempt to resolve this apparent contradiction is to say that physical spheres are not Lebesgue measurable.[6]

    I gave a talk on the Banach-Tarski paradox as an undergrad. It is not equivalent to the axiom of choice, though it depends upon it. The phrase "infinitely divisible parts" makes no sense, and the theorem is remarkable because it specifically shows how one may divide the sphere into a finite number of parts. I don’t believe the authors did not use the proof to criticize the axiom (I’ll have to look that up). And spheres are certainly Lebesgue measurable; I have no idea what they mean when they say "physical spheres" are not Lebesgue measurable.

  73. 73.

    geg6

    March 10, 2009 at 4:27 pm

    OT, but could some of the financial whizzes here please tell me why Walmart would be downgraded for the possibility that legislation that hasn’t even been through a vote in either house yet might actually pass and despite it’s current very strong market position? And does anyone doubt that there just might be some political manipulation going here?

    h/t Digby

    Citigroup Inc. lowered its rating on Wal-Mart Stores Inc. to hold from buy on Tuesday, citing concern that legislation intended to make it easier for employees to unionize would raise the retail giant’s labor costs and hurt its competitiveness.

    Deborah Weinswig, a Citigroup analyst, cut her price target on the Bentonville, Ark.-based retailer to $48 from $53.

    Wal-Mart (WMT) shares rose 2.4% to $48.65 in early afternoon trading, in line with the broader markets. Still, its percentage gain was one of the smallest among components of the Dow Jones Industrial Average.

  74. 74.

    David

    March 10, 2009 at 4:27 pm

    Obama’s Fake Birth Certificate Reveals Huge Conspiracy!!!

    "What is taking place is indeed conspiracy as in the sense a violation of the RICO Act. This involves the state of Hawaii and Occidental College, if not Columbia of New York and Harvard.

    What requires explanation in this is a generation of crime in supplanting the United States for money. It is as simple as that in local government policy being fed huge sums of money at the behest of Ford Foundation incorporating globalist policy into American culture.
    Barack Obama is simply the tip of this iceberg . . ."

    http://www.oilforimmigration.org/facts/?p=1187

  75. 75.

    Joshua Norton

    March 10, 2009 at 4:29 pm

    Homosexuality (3,275,051)

    Teh Ghey used to be number one. Either someone is cooking the numbers to make their site hits less embarrassing, or they’ve hit peak closet-case and are moving on to other crackpot interests.

  76. 76.

    Wile E. Quixote

    March 10, 2009 at 4:30 pm

    @NonyNony

    This is a fairly concise summary of why the GOP is so screwed up right now.
    When I was growing up, the argument was always "Well, the GOP may not be perfect but at least they stand for something – Democrats don’t stand for anything". I still hear people say that but it just makes me laugh – the GOP may stand for something, but who can tell what it is? You can’t trust them to tell you what they stand for – they’ve been lying for so long that I’m not even sure that they know what their "core principles" are anymore.

    "I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it’s an ethos."

  77. 77.

    jibeaux

    March 10, 2009 at 4:30 pm

    The Association of American Physicians and Surgeons

    They also appear to take the vaccine-autism link seriously and are really against SCHIP. Clearly, this is an organization consisting of nonpartisan health care professionals of the highest order who just don’t want to be in the AMA for whatever reason and not some kind of weird pseudo professional front for folks with a political axe to grind.

  78. 78.

    Comrade Kevin

    March 10, 2009 at 4:30 pm

    @cleek: I would say that comment is a spoof, probably someone imitating a PUMA. Either that, or it’s Harriet Christian.

  79. 79.

    Sir Nose'D

    March 10, 2009 at 4:31 pm

    Obama’s middle name (Hussein) references Husayn, who was the grandson of Muhammad,[28] which most Christians would not retain.[29]

    Note to Barak Obama: Your secret Muslim-ness has been exposed.

    Note to all future secret Muslims. You might want to pick a non Muslim-sounding name–vigilant Americans are vigilant!

  80. 80.

    Rick Taylor

    March 10, 2009 at 4:32 pm

    I forgot the link for the previous.

    Meanwhile this is just funny.

    In a series of lectures in 1993, mathematician Andrew Wiles announced a proof using techniques in algebraic geometry, relying on the nonconstructive Axiom of Choice.[5] A flaw was found before publication, and Wiles spent a year on fixing the flaw. Then, in September 1994, he and Richard Taylor announced a new version of the proof. However, criticism does continue on the internet.[5] Further criticism came from Marilyn vos Savant, known for her very high IQ and commentary on mathematics, in her column and book.[6][7] She questioned the use of Non-Euclidean geometry and the Axiom of Choice, among other points. She retracted her argument in a 1995 addendum to the book.

    No, Wiles proof does not depend on the axiom of choice. And yes, I suppose the proof couldn’t be final if criticism is continuing on the internet, especially by people with high IQ’s. Marilyn vos Savant by the way had no idea what she was talking about.

  81. 81.

    Dennis-SGMM

    March 10, 2009 at 4:32 pm

    @Rick Taylor:
    I thought that "bigger tax cuts=more money for government" had already established the existence of wingnut math.

  82. 82.

    MikeJ

    March 10, 2009 at 4:33 pm

    Pack as many bits as possible into a byte. That is some premium retardation right there.

    Eh. Poorly worded, but in context I can understand what they were trying to say. Use as many bits of the first byte as possible for data, reserving enough bits to signal how many bytes follow. More an example of bad writing than stupidity. There’s plenty of stupid over there to criticize.

  83. 83.

    smiley

    March 10, 2009 at 4:34 pm

    @geg6: In related news: Dow up 379. Obamanomics a clear success.

  84. 84.

    jibeaux

    March 10, 2009 at 4:34 pm

    @David:

    The fact is there are hundreds of thousands of Barack Obama’s registered in Hawaii. Do you think even a Republican governor sitting on this explosive mess wants any of this coming out?
    An entire state sold out the United States for filthy lucre, because they were importing Asian slave labor.

    Okay, you’re right, that’s even crazier than the post here. Damn you, Peak Wingnut! Why do you elude me so?

  85. 85.

    Dennis-SGMM

    March 10, 2009 at 4:35 pm

    The Truly Informed usually turn to Dickipedia.

  86. 86.

    gypsy howell

    March 10, 2009 at 4:35 pm

    @The Other Steve at 3:39:

    Did you take special note of the…. ummm… flow chart in drkate’s treatise?

    Definitely the work of a "beautiful mind."

  87. 87.

    Sarcastro

    March 10, 2009 at 4:37 pm

    God damnit Spotweld, I was sitting here thinking to myself "Y’know what self? I don’t think our opinion of humanity could get any lower!" and then you come along and post a link to a discussion so monumentally stupid that it defies comprehension.

  88. 88.

    Dennis-SGMM

    March 10, 2009 at 4:38 pm

    An entire state sold out the United States for filthy lucre, because they were importing Asian slave labor.

    Import me, dammit!

  89. 89.

    Max

    March 10, 2009 at 4:40 pm

    Conservapedia is good for a few laughs, and yes it’s difficult to spoof them…but not impossible. I bow to whoever it was that created the Conservapedia entry (now deleted) for "Pacific Northwest Arboreal Octopus."

  90. 90.

    wvng

    March 10, 2009 at 4:41 pm

    * I used to amuse myself by visiting the Conservapedia statistics page to see what crazy things conservatives obsess over. It used to focus on various aspects of homosexuality as imagined in their fevered brains. Since the election, all has changed:

    Most viewed pages
    * Atheism (4,717,565)
    * Main Page (4,476,982)
    * Homosexuality (3,275,068)
    * Barack Hussein Obama (1,024,689)
    * Wikipedia (687,030)
    * Adolf Hitler (567,905)
    * John McCain (565,828)
    * Examples of Bias in Wikipedia (528,675)
    * United States Presidential Election, 2008 (524,642)
    * Liberal (523,945)

  91. 91.

    jibeaux

    March 10, 2009 at 4:43 pm

    Okay, gypsy and TOS, get me off that Dr. Kate commentary crazy train.

    Occam’s razor says that he simply ran a scam. He did an end run around the law, the Constitution, the Democratic party, the Secretaries of State, the Congress, the American people, the Electoral College, and the Courts,

    You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

  92. 92.

    jibeaux

    March 10, 2009 at 4:47 pm

    @Max:

    Oh man. Scroll down to the picture and try not to lose it.

  93. 93.

    Barbar

    March 10, 2009 at 4:49 pm

    Conservapedia is basically the work of one guy, who happens to be Phyllis Schafly’s son.

    The weird thing is that this guy went to Harvard Law School with Barack Obama.

    And no, I am not making this up.

  94. 94.

    Mike in NC

    March 10, 2009 at 4:53 pm

    I had thought mathematics was at least immune to winguttia.

    Brick Oven will be along shortly to disabuse us of that notion.

  95. 95.

    Incertus

    March 10, 2009 at 4:54 pm

    @Max: My girlfriend used that in a Composition class last year to test her students on how to determine if a website was a legitimate source of information–you don’t want to know how many didn’t realize it was a fake site.

  96. 96.

    Bubblegum Tate

    March 10, 2009 at 4:59 pm

    @Joshua Norton:

    Teh Ghey used to be number one.

    For a while, Teh Ghey pretty much dominated the Top 10–aside from the main page, it was all stuff about gays, buttsex, anal fissures (seriously), praying the gay away, the works. The only way the site could’ve been any gayer is if it actually showed gay porn.

  97. 97.

    Mike in NC

    March 10, 2009 at 5:00 pm

    Marilyn vos Savant by the way had no idea what she was talking about.

    But she writes for Parade magazine! I’m told they’re trying to recruit Bill Kristol, too.

  98. 98.

    Jon H

    March 10, 2009 at 5:01 pm

    Classic quote from a Conservapedia discussion page:

    "However, I have grave doubts about whether your ‘fact’-mongering is carried out with the intention of helping to build up Conservapedia. Given the nature of these ‘facts’, and of your attitude, I suspect quite the opposite. "

    Note, this is in response to a person who committed the grave liberal atheist crime of posting substantive comments about US literacy rates vs. Ancient Greek literacy rates.

  99. 99.

    Josh Hueco

    March 10, 2009 at 5:31 pm

    Conservapedia is basically the work of one guy, who happens to be Phyllis Schafly’s son.
    The weird thing is that this guy went to Harvard Law School with Barack Obama.
    And no, I am not making this up.

    Isn’t her son gay?

  100. 100.

    Barbar

    March 10, 2009 at 5:33 pm

    You’re thinking of Andy’s older brother John.

  101. 101.

    [delurk]...[/delurk]

    March 10, 2009 at 5:43 pm

    You know you’re dealing with acute, suppurating ignorance when you encounter people obsessing over the fact that Hussein is an Arabic name and don’t even realize that Barack is, too.

    Barak (Baruch in Hebrew) means "blessing", and is a very common name in many East African groups. Suppose you knew somebody named David Schlomo Wasserstein. You’d say Schlomo is a "Jewish name", but so is David; it’s just more naturalized in English-speaking countries than Schlomo. The same goes for Barak among Swahili- and Luo-speakers (among many others) vs. Hussein, which is a more-or-less exclusively Muslim name.

    Since wingnuts consider "Arabic" and "Muslim" synonymous terms, they should be obsessing equally about both names. The fact that they’re not shows how abysmal their ignorance is.

    (Maybe Obama should have started spelling one or the other names differently to take the curse off, like Kirstie Ali; or is that the source of the "c" in Barack?)

  102. 102.

    TheHatOnMyCat

    March 10, 2009 at 5:49 pm

    raising an unprecedented $750 million and spending over $700 million of it,[5] most of which came from anonymous donors

    Hmmnh.

    I was just recently shown that a person can type in my address and immediately find a link that displays my name and the amount of money I gave to the Obama campaign last year, using teh Google as the starting point.

    Similar to the information that was all the rage back in the days after Prop 8 was getting daily attention. Anyhoo …

    Political contributions are not anonymous, they are amazingly public and pretty easy to track, apparently.

    I am quite proud of my contribution to Obama’s $700m+ campaign war chest, small as my part was, and woe that it could not have been bigger.

  103. 103.

    TheHatOnMyCat

    March 10, 2009 at 5:54 pm

    Ataranjizzmop could learn a few things there.

    Maybe he’d discover a sense of humor?

  104. 104.

    The Populist

    March 10, 2009 at 5:56 pm

    Fact: Bush, Reagan and even the elder Bush referred to America in the third person MANY, MANY times.

  105. 105.

    Rick Taylor

    March 10, 2009 at 6:00 pm

    Wow.

    The conservepedia page on the Axiom of Choice incorrectly stated that the existence of a nonmeasurable set and the existence of a basis for any vector space were equivalent to the axiom of choice. Someone who new what they were talking about removed these references, stating while the Axiom of choice was used in their proof, it was not actually equivalent to it. The original author expunged the edit and replied,

    Alan, the Axiom of Choice yields many strange behaviors in mathematics. That’s why it is still questioned and debated. If the statement is not equivalent to AC (which I will have to look deeper into to believe), then the correct behavior is not to remove the statement altogether but to change it to an implication. Edits that whitewash the Axiom of Choice’s questionable role in mathematics are the sort of behavior you see at Wikipedia, not here (see Conservapedia:Critical Thinking in Math for a guide to our positions). I am reinstating the fact, but will tentatively change it to just a consequence of AC instead of an equivalence.

    To be fair, you can find nutty statements about math in postmodern philosophy as well.

  106. 106.

    Tax Analyst

    March 10, 2009 at 6:03 pm

    #10 -The Other Steve @ 3:39
    Have you read Dr. Kate?
    http://texasdarlin.wordpress.c…..n-patriot/
    It’s mega awesome wingnutty.

    I like where she compares Obama to Jim Jones, David Koresh, Charles Manson and Hitler, among others.

    Yeah, it’s so clear – you can just feel the evil from his menacing manner with his children. Especially the picture of him riding with one of his little girls in a bumper car at some amusement park.

  107. 107.

    The Populist

    March 10, 2009 at 6:08 pm

    Notice all but one mirror conservative viewpoints and values to a tee? Don’t forget McVeigh.

    As for Manson, he’s just a loony.

  108. 108.

    wvng

    March 10, 2009 at 6:15 pm

    Well, the Conservapedia entry is pretty good, but I dare you to find anything that matches the sheer incoherence of the first wingnut comment I’ve gotten at my blog. It was so good I started a new post with it.

    I just got my first ever incoherent wingnut hate comment ….

  109. 109.

    moe99

    March 10, 2009 at 6:23 pm

    Hell, Nixon used to refer to himself in the third person.

  110. 110.

    Jay C

    March 10, 2009 at 6:33 pm

    @jibeaux:

    The fact is there are hundreds of thousands of Barack Obama’s registered in Hawaii. Do you think even a Republican governor sitting on this explosive mess wants any of this coming out?

    One can only visualize the scene at the next election in Hawaii when the precinct workers call out the voters for their turn at the polls:

    "Ladies and gentlemen, I’m going to call your names now, and you will please respond clearly, so I can check your names off the roll…

    Barack Takahashi Obama?"

    "Here!"

    "Barack Pulaski Obama?"

    "Here!"

    "Barack Smith Obama?"

    "Here!"

    "Barack Wong Obama?"

    "Here!"

    …"thousands" of them…..

  111. 111.

    Michael D.

    March 10, 2009 at 8:13 pm

    I, for one, LOVE Conservapedia. Whenever I am feeling down, it always makes me smile.

    I mean it. I read it all the time. I get almost as much laughter out of it as I used to get out of Calvin and Hobbes or The Far Side.

  112. 112.

    Sasha

    March 10, 2009 at 8:14 pm

    That is 100% pure wingnut, alright. Pharmaceutical grade.

    And it will distilled to even greater purity over the next 8 years.

    Seriously, that has to be spoof.

    Nope, the editors at Conservapedia are deathly serious. (But I suspect that many contributors are spoofing just to see how ridiculous a claim against Obama has to be before Schafley declares it too much. Apparently, nobody’s hit that threshold yet.)

  113. 113.

    Cpl. Cam

    March 10, 2009 at 8:17 pm

    "Obama said the Muslim call to prayer is "one of the prettiest sounds on Earth at sunset,"

    I spent a month or so in Egypt once and even out in the middle of the godforsaken desert where we were stationed we could hear that nightly call to prayer. One of the most hauntly beautiful things I have ever heard.

  114. 114.

    Barbar

    March 10, 2009 at 8:40 pm

    Am I the only person amazed that the guy who wrote the article John quotes in his post was actually Obama’s classmate at HLS? I mean, WTF?

  115. 115.

    tom c

    March 10, 2009 at 8:45 pm


    I wonder if that was a spoof. I hope the FBI wondered too.

  116. 116.

    Mike in NC

    March 10, 2009 at 8:49 pm

    I suspect that many contributors are spoofing just to see how ridiculous a claim against Obama has to be before Schafley declares it too much.

    I did a quick Wiki check on Phyllis Schlafly just to make sure the guy who came up with Conservapedia wasn’t her gay son (John). No it was the other one (Andy). That right-wing nuts like Schlafly and Dick Cheney have gay childen is proof that God has a sense of humor.

  117. 117.

    Farley

    March 10, 2009 at 9:02 pm

    @tom c: Conservapedia no longer has any text on the page with the title "Senate Democrats from States with Republican Governors".

    Did you finally find something the nuts considered too crazy for primetime wingdom?

  118. 118.

    GuyFromOhio

    March 10, 2009 at 11:10 pm

    As a connoisseur of the wingnut genre and recovering wingnut myself, I had to dive in for a taste:

    Behold, you have uncovered yet another wingnut Mobius strip: one-dimensional, infinitely repeating.

  119. 119.

    Peener

    March 11, 2009 at 12:29 am

    I wanted to replace every word in the Conservapadia with "penis", but couldn’t figure out how.

    If any penis has any idea penis, please penis to this penis.

    Penis.

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