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You are here: Home / Humorous / Dayana does Gitmo

Dayana does Gitmo

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Miss Universe, Dayana Mendoza, visited Gitmo last week and here’s what she reported:

We arrived in Gitmo on Friday and stared going around the town, everybody knew Crystle and I were coming so the first thing we did was attend a big lunch and then we visited one of the bars they have in the base. We talked about Gitmo and what is was like living there. The next days we had a wonderful time, this truly was a memorable trip! We hung out with the guys from the East Coast and they showed us the boat inside and out, how they work and what they do, we took a ride around the land and it was a loooot of fun!

We also met the Military dogs, and they did a very nice demonstration of their skills. All the guys from the Army were amazing with us.

We visited the Detainees camps and we saw the jails, where they shower, how the recreate themselves with movies, classes of art, books. It was very interesting.

[…..]

I didn’t want to leave, it was such a relaxing place, so calm and beautiful.

That’s probably just the honey-and-ginger chicken talking.

Reader Interactions

45Comments

  1. 1.

    Ricky Bobby

    Any pics of Miss Universe going to surface getting chewed on by a dog while smeared in her own feces?

  3. 3.

    Comrade General Stuck/ Obama Cultist

    She sounds hot to trot.

    Don’t know if it was meeting the Military Dogs and their vicious sensooousness, oooh ahhh.

    Or, could it be the idea of hot showered jail sex with some light torture. Ooooh ahhhhh!

  8. 8.

    valdivia

    ps. I am sure the Dear Leader Chavez must be ready to pull her citizenship now. I guess hanging out with Donal Trump rubs off?

  9. 9.

    Comrade Kevin

    Perhaps she’d like to spend some time in one of the cages there, if it’s such a relaxing place.

  10. 10.

    Matron Cat-o-nine-tails of Lovingkindness

    This young woman has inspired me to recreate myself.
    It’s a loooot of fun!

  11. 11.

    The Moar You Know

    Well, hell, I want to go to Gitmo!

    Just so long as I don’t have to stay in a plywood box, squat in my own feces, get waterboarded, raped, sodomized or exposed to Pat Boone for sixteen hours straight (there’s torture and then there’s TORTURE). I’ll also pass on getting spit on, beaten with a hose, made fun of, or having the book of my religion used as toilet paper in front of my face.

    It sounds like an awesome, lovely place otherwise.

  14. 14.

    AnneLaurie

    Is this person nuts? She’s going to have this quoted back to her for the rest of her life, as the story keeps coming out.

    Once she’d been branded as "Donald Trump’s Miss Universe", there was no lower level of ignominy to which she might sink.

    Besides, who would know more about putting an appealing face on an ugly, sordid reality than a beauty pageant winner?

  15. 15.

    JWW

    and again,

    you prove yourself as an idiot. You should be like Madonna and write childrens books.

  17. 17.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    After you walk the runway in a bathing suit and heels in front of millions of people, everything seems easy. Kinda liked skiing the K12, but harder.

  19. 19.

    Joshua Norton

    Sounds about as deep and well thought out as a 5th grade report I threw together in 15 minutes about what I did on my summer vacation.

    If she expects to win a Pulitzer, she had better hope they add a swimsuit competition.

  20. 20.

    Apsaras

    Guys I don’t see what was so bad about Dachau, it’s very pretty, especially this time of year.

  21. 21.

    Jess

    So she’s an idiot. Or, just maybe, she’s brilliant. Consider this possible scenario: she’s told that if she says anything critical about Gitmo, her career as an international beauty is done. So she cleverly says such nonsensical fluff about the place that it only makes sense as irony or satire.

    Or maybe I’ve just been watching the Colbert Report too much. Well, since it doesn’t matter one way or the other, I’ll just enjoy my fantasy that Miss U is playing us.

  22. 22.

    TenguPhule

    Dayana does Gitmo

    I’m confused, did they go to Gitmo or did they do a porno shoot based on Gitmo?

    I mean, I know some women are desperate for money these days, but surely not that desperate?!

  23. 23.

    TenguPhule

    If she expects to win a Pulitzer, she had better hope they add a swimsuit wet t-shirt competition.

    Corrected for accuracy.

  25. 25.

    J. Michael Neal

    You know, this thread could only be improved by being declared an Open thread, so I have a completely off-topic question. I just canceled the cable, and ordered the streaming video package for MLB. Does anyone know a way to hook the computer up to the TV so that I get the picture there?

  26. 26.

    SammyB

    All the guys from the Army were amazing with us.

    Is it me or does that sounds like a gang bang.

  27. 27.

    JL

    When Bush was president, the Red Cross had difficulty gaining access to the prisoners now beauty queens can walk the beach and buy jewelry. Talk about change.

    The water in Guantánamo Bay is soooo beautiful! It was unbelievable, we were able to enjoy it for at least an hour. We went to the glass beach, and realized the name of it comes from the little pieces of broken glass from hundred of years ago. It is pretty to see all the colors shining with the sun. That day we met a beautiful lady named Rebeca who does wonders with the glasses from the beach. She creates jewelry with it and of course I bought a necklace from her that will remind me of Guantánamo Bay :)

  28. 28.

    TenguPhule

    Is it me or does that sounds like a gang bang.

    We hung out with the guys from the East Coast and they showed us the boat inside and out,

    It’s not you.

  30. 30.

    Mike in NC

    I don’t see what was so bad about Dachau, it’s very pretty, especially this time of year.

    Ah, glorious Gitmo! Spent a few weeks there for refresher training in ’83. Work days would begin around 0430 and end maybe 20 hours later. In November the daytime temps were 125 in the shade with 100% humidity. Once in a while we’d get some time off to walk to the Navy Exchange, about a five mile hike. Good times, indeed…

  31. 31.

    Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist

    That’s probably just the honey-and-ginger chicken talking.

    Smirk.

    You know, back in the 20th century it never occurred to me that I could become infuriated by hearing someone read a menu aloud.

    The Gitmo shit wasn’t the first time, either – the self-praise by the Bush admin people for dropping, from 30,000 feet, food packets in quantities sufficient to feed 0.5% of the at-risk people in Afghanistan at the same time we were blasting the shit out of the place. With cluster bombs whose unexploded bomblets looked just like the food packets.

    Seriously, the phrase "beans vinaigrette" still annoys the shit out of me.

  32. 32.

    Jess

    @J. Michael Neal:

    Some friends of mine just bought a hook-up package (wait…that sounds a bit dirty) at Radio Shack for around $30, and after fumbling around a bit (oh, no–I can’t stop!) got it all set up. So I would start with a call to RS and see what they have.

  33. 33.

    The Other Steve

    Isn’t Gitmo historically a military base?

    I would assume if you’re outside the prison it’s probably nicer then most places in Cuba.

  35. 35.

    Jess

    @J. Michael Neal:

    Well, what do you expect when go to a site called "Balloon Juice" for advice…and just what WERE you planning on projecting on yr extra-large flatscreen from the computer, anyway?

  39. 39.

    NonWonderDog

    Does anyone know a way to hook the computer up to the TV so that I get the picture there?

    There are a dozen or so different combinations, so it really depends on what you have. If you’ve got a fairly modern video card, all you need to plug it into your average HDTV is the right cable (usually DVI-D to HDMI). For an analog TV you’ll probably need a VGA to RCA converter box. I have no recommendations for that kind of thing, but Radioshack will probably rip you off.

  41. 41.

    BruceK

    @J. Michael Neal,

    Like they said, it depends on your computer’s outputs and your TV’s inputs. Many HDTV’s will have an input that will accept a monitor cable directly from your computer’s graphics output; sound may, unfortunately, be a bit more tricky to pipe into the TV.

    Short answer: if your TV has an input on the back marked "DVI" or "VGA", you’re pretty much in business (as far as the picture goes). Ditto if your computer has an HDMI output, in which case it may be even easier to hook it into a modern TV.

  44. 44.

    RememberNovember

    They didn’t take her to the detention center- yeah Gitmo( or Guantanamo bay for the lexically able) was always a base and point of contention. Made famous in A Few Good Men, infamous by George Bush.

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