• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

Donald Trump found guilty as fuck – May 30, 2024!

“In the future, this lab will be a museum. do not touch it.”

We are aware of all internet traditions.

The Giant Orange Man Baby is having a bad day.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

You’re just a puppy masquerading as an old coot.

You passed on an opportunity to be offended? What are you even doing here?

No one could have predicted…

“But what about the lurkers?”

All hail the time of the bunny!

Fight for a just cause, love your fellow man, live a good life.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

America is going up in flames. The NYTimes fawns over MAGA celebrities. No longer a real newspaper.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

It is not hopeless, and we are not helpless.

Republicans in disarray!

How any woman could possibly vote for this smug smarmy piece of misogynistic crap is beyond understanding.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

My right to basic bodily autonomy is not on the table. that’s the new deal.

When you’re a Republican, they let you do it.

Mobile Menu

  • Seattle Meet-up Post
  • 2025 Activism
  • Targeted Political Fundraising
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • COVID-19
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • 2025 Activism
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • Targeted Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Humorous / Dayana does Gitmo

Dayana does Gitmo

by DougJ|  March 30, 20098:40 pm| 45 Comments

This post is in: Humorous

FacebookTweetEmail

Miss Universe, Dayana Mendoza, visited Gitmo last week and here’s what she reported:

We arrived in Gitmo on Friday and stared going around the town, everybody knew Crystle and I were coming so the first thing we did was attend a big lunch and then we visited one of the bars they have in the base. We talked about Gitmo and what is was like living there. The next days we had a wonderful time, this truly was a memorable trip! We hung out with the guys from the East Coast and they showed us the boat inside and out, how they work and what they do, we took a ride around the land and it was a loooot of fun!

We also met the Military dogs, and they did a very nice demonstration of their skills. All the guys from the Army were amazing with us.

We visited the Detainees camps and we saw the jails, where they shower, how the recreate themselves with movies, classes of art, books. It was very interesting.

[…..]

I didn’t want to leave, it was such a relaxing place, so calm and beautiful.

That’s probably just the honey-and-ginger chicken talking.

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « Lou Dobbs Is Giving Me Whiplash
Next Post: Earth hour »

Reader Interactions

45Comments

  1. 1.

    Ricky Bobby

    March 30, 2009 at 8:47 pm

    Any pics of Miss Universe going to surface getting chewed on by a dog while smeared in her own feces?

  2. 2.

    chuck

    March 30, 2009 at 8:49 pm

    Paging Miss South Carolina. Your tutoring student is here.

  3. 3.

    Comrade General Stuck/ Obama Cultist

    March 30, 2009 at 8:49 pm

    She sounds hot to trot.

    Don’t know if it was meeting the Military Dogs and their vicious sensooousness, oooh ahhh.

    Or, could it be the idea of hot showered jail sex with some light torture. Ooooh ahhhhh!

  4. 4.

    Incertus

    March 30, 2009 at 8:49 pm

    Seriously?

  5. 5.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    March 30, 2009 at 8:50 pm

    Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

  6. 6.

    valdivia

    March 30, 2009 at 8:53 pm

    head.hits.desk.
    won’t.come. up.

  7. 7.

    joe from Lowell

    March 30, 2009 at 8:54 pm

    Is this person nuts? She’s going to have this quoted back to her for the rest of her life, as the story keeps coming out.

  8. 8.

    valdivia

    March 30, 2009 at 8:54 pm

    ps. I am sure the Dear Leader Chavez must be ready to pull her citizenship now. I guess hanging out with Donal Trump rubs off?

  9. 9.

    Comrade Kevin

    March 30, 2009 at 8:55 pm

    Perhaps she’d like to spend some time in one of the cages there, if it’s such a relaxing place.

  10. 10.

    Matron Cat-o-nine-tails of Lovingkindness

    March 30, 2009 at 9:00 pm

    This young woman has inspired me to recreate myself.
    It’s a loooot of fun!

  11. 11.

    The Moar You Know

    March 30, 2009 at 9:03 pm

    Well, hell, I want to go to Gitmo!

    Just so long as I don’t have to stay in a plywood box, squat in my own feces, get waterboarded, raped, sodomized or exposed to Pat Boone for sixteen hours straight (there’s torture and then there’s TORTURE). I’ll also pass on getting spit on, beaten with a hose, made fun of, or having the book of my religion used as toilet paper in front of my face.

    It sounds like an awesome, lovely place otherwise.

  12. 12.

    Rainy

    March 30, 2009 at 9:04 pm

    Haha!!

    Wow…

  13. 13.

    shortstop

    March 30, 2009 at 9:04 pm

    Paging Miss South Carolina. Your tutoring student is here.

    So damn good.

  14. 14.

    AnneLaurie

    March 30, 2009 at 9:08 pm

    Is this person nuts? She’s going to have this quoted back to her for the rest of her life, as the story keeps coming out.

    Once she’d been branded as "Donald Trump’s Miss Universe", there was no lower level of ignominy to which she might sink.

    Besides, who would know more about putting an appealing face on an ugly, sordid reality than a beauty pageant winner?

  15. 15.

    JWW

    March 30, 2009 at 9:09 pm

    and again,

    you prove yourself as an idiot. You should be like Madonna and write childrens books.

  16. 16.

    DRD 1812

    March 30, 2009 at 9:10 pm

    B. Kliban nailed this one decades ago.

  17. 17.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    March 30, 2009 at 9:12 pm

    After you walk the runway in a bathing suit and heels in front of millions of people, everything seems easy. Kinda liked skiing the K12, but harder.

  18. 18.

    AkaDad

    March 30, 2009 at 9:19 pm

    Club Gitmo: Kick back. Relax. Enjoy.

  19. 19.

    Joshua Norton

    March 30, 2009 at 9:24 pm

    Sounds about as deep and well thought out as a 5th grade report I threw together in 15 minutes about what I did on my summer vacation.

    If she expects to win a Pulitzer, she had better hope they add a swimsuit competition.

  20. 20.

    Apsaras

    March 30, 2009 at 9:40 pm

    Guys I don’t see what was so bad about Dachau, it’s very pretty, especially this time of year.

  21. 21.

    Jess

    March 30, 2009 at 9:51 pm

    So she’s an idiot. Or, just maybe, she’s brilliant. Consider this possible scenario: she’s told that if she says anything critical about Gitmo, her career as an international beauty is done. So she cleverly says such nonsensical fluff about the place that it only makes sense as irony or satire.

    Or maybe I’ve just been watching the Colbert Report too much. Well, since it doesn’t matter one way or the other, I’ll just enjoy my fantasy that Miss U is playing us.

  22. 22.

    TenguPhule

    March 30, 2009 at 9:51 pm

    Dayana does Gitmo

    I’m confused, did they go to Gitmo or did they do a porno shoot based on Gitmo?

    I mean, I know some women are desperate for money these days, but surely not that desperate?!

  23. 23.

    TenguPhule

    March 30, 2009 at 9:52 pm

    If she expects to win a Pulitzer, she had better hope they add a swimsuit wet t-shirt competition.

    Corrected for accuracy.

  24. 24.

    Creamy Goodness

    March 30, 2009 at 10:05 pm

    I was *sure* this was a parody.

  25. 25.

    J. Michael Neal

    March 30, 2009 at 10:11 pm

    You know, this thread could only be improved by being declared an Open thread, so I have a completely off-topic question. I just canceled the cable, and ordered the streaming video package for MLB. Does anyone know a way to hook the computer up to the TV so that I get the picture there?

  26. 26.

    SammyB

    March 30, 2009 at 10:12 pm

    All the guys from the Army were amazing with us.

    Is it me or does that sounds like a gang bang.

  27. 27.

    JL

    March 30, 2009 at 10:14 pm

    When Bush was president, the Red Cross had difficulty gaining access to the prisoners now beauty queens can walk the beach and buy jewelry. Talk about change.

    The water in Guantánamo Bay is soooo beautiful! It was unbelievable, we were able to enjoy it for at least an hour. We went to the glass beach, and realized the name of it comes from the little pieces of broken glass from hundred of years ago. It is pretty to see all the colors shining with the sun. That day we met a beautiful lady named Rebeca who does wonders with the glasses from the beach. She creates jewelry with it and of course I bought a necklace from her that will remind me of Guantánamo Bay :)

  28. 28.

    TenguPhule

    March 30, 2009 at 10:15 pm

    Is it me or does that sounds like a gang bang.

    We hung out with the guys from the East Coast and they showed us the boat inside and out,

    It’s not you.

  29. 29.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    March 30, 2009 at 10:17 pm

    @Creamy Goodness: Alas. But you can bet your last dollar someone will pitch a reality show based on this little jaunt.

  30. 30.

    Mike in NC

    March 30, 2009 at 10:21 pm

    I don’t see what was so bad about Dachau, it’s very pretty, especially this time of year.

    Ah, glorious Gitmo! Spent a few weeks there for refresher training in ’83. Work days would begin around 0430 and end maybe 20 hours later. In November the daytime temps were 125 in the shade with 100% humidity. Once in a while we’d get some time off to walk to the Navy Exchange, about a five mile hike. Good times, indeed…

  31. 31.

    Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist

    March 30, 2009 at 10:28 pm

    That’s probably just the honey-and-ginger chicken talking.

    Smirk.

    You know, back in the 20th century it never occurred to me that I could become infuriated by hearing someone read a menu aloud.

    The Gitmo shit wasn’t the first time, either – the self-praise by the Bush admin people for dropping, from 30,000 feet, food packets in quantities sufficient to feed 0.5% of the at-risk people in Afghanistan at the same time we were blasting the shit out of the place. With cluster bombs whose unexploded bomblets looked just like the food packets.

    Seriously, the phrase "beans vinaigrette" still annoys the shit out of me.

  32. 32.

    Jess

    March 30, 2009 at 10:36 pm

    @J. Michael Neal:

    Some friends of mine just bought a hook-up package (wait…that sounds a bit dirty) at Radio Shack for around $30, and after fumbling around a bit (oh, no–I can’t stop!) got it all set up. So I would start with a call to RS and see what they have.

  33. 33.

    The Other Steve

    March 30, 2009 at 10:38 pm

    Isn’t Gitmo historically a military base?

    I would assume if you’re outside the prison it’s probably nicer then most places in Cuba.

  34. 34.

    J. Michael Neal

    March 30, 2009 at 10:48 pm

    @Jess: It sounds like you’re telling me that Red State can explain to me how to score with the chicks. I’m dubious.

  35. 35.

    Jess

    March 30, 2009 at 10:56 pm

    @J. Michael Neal:

    Well, what do you expect when go to a site called "Balloon Juice" for advice…and just what WERE you planning on projecting on yr extra-large flatscreen from the computer, anyway?

  36. 36.

    J. Michael Neal

    March 30, 2009 at 11:17 pm

    @Jess: Balling!

  37. 37.

    AhabTDefenestrator

    March 30, 2009 at 11:20 pm

    @J. Michael Neal: Striking balls, at that.

  38. 38.

    J. Michael Neal

    March 30, 2009 at 11:31 pm

    @AhabTDefenestrator: Well, that and pucks. Sort of a Larry Craig twofer.

  39. 39.

    NonWonderDog

    March 30, 2009 at 11:55 pm

    Does anyone know a way to hook the computer up to the TV so that I get the picture there?

    There are a dozen or so different combinations, so it really depends on what you have. If you’ve got a fairly modern video card, all you need to plug it into your average HDTV is the right cable (usually DVI-D to HDMI). For an analog TV you’ll probably need a VGA to RCA converter box. I have no recommendations for that kind of thing, but Radioshack will probably rip you off.

  40. 40.

    Lesley

    March 31, 2009 at 1:48 am

    dim bulb.

    i’m sure the boys were very helpful.

  41. 41.

    BruceK

    March 31, 2009 at 5:16 am

    @J. Michael Neal,

    Like they said, it depends on your computer’s outputs and your TV’s inputs. Many HDTV’s will have an input that will accept a monitor cable directly from your computer’s graphics output; sound may, unfortunately, be a bit more tricky to pipe into the TV.

    Short answer: if your TV has an input on the back marked "DVI" or "VGA", you’re pretty much in business (as far as the picture goes). Ditto if your computer has an HDMI output, in which case it may be even easier to hook it into a modern TV.

  42. 42.

    Skepticat

    March 31, 2009 at 8:54 am

    Miss Universe? Which universe?

  43. 43.

    Skepticat

    March 31, 2009 at 8:54 am

    sorry, inadvertent repeat

  44. 44.

    RememberNovember

    March 31, 2009 at 11:38 am

    They didn’t take her to the detention center- yeah Gitmo( or Guantanamo bay for the lexically able) was always a base and point of contention. Made famous in A Few Good Men, infamous by George Bush.

  45. 45.

    Quaker in a Basement

    March 31, 2009 at 12:06 pm

    "Crystle"?

    Oh dear God.

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

What we should do right now
Image by Tim F. (5/10/25)

Recent Comments

  • Adam L Silverman on War for Ukraine Day 1,172: This Deal Is Getting Worse All the Time (May 12, 2025 @ 12:54am)
  • Ruckus on Why Does Fascism Have To Be So Fucking Tacky? (May 12, 2025 @ 12:33am)
  • Westyny on War for Ukraine Day 1,172: This Deal Is Getting Worse All the Time (May 12, 2025 @ 12:21am)
  • mvr on Medium Cool – Mother’s Day Edition (May 12, 2025 @ 12:16am)
  • mvr on Medium Cool – Mother’s Day Edition (May 12, 2025 @ 12:09am)

PA Supreme Court At Risk

Donate

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
War in Ukraine
Donate to Razom for Ukraine

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Meetups

Upcoming Ohio Meetup May 17
5/11 Post about the May 17 Ohio Meetup

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)
Fix Nyms with Apostrophes

Hands Off! – Denver, San Diego & Austin

Social Media

Balloon Juice
WaterGirl
TaMara
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
DougJ NYT Pitchbot
mistermix

Keeping Track

Legal Challenges (Lawfare)
Republicans Fleeing Town Halls (TPM)
21 Letters (to Borrow or Steal)
Search Donations from a Brand

PA Supreme Court At Risk

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2025 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!