Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

Bark louder, little dog.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Jack Smith.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires

The republican caucus is already covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

He really is that stupid.

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

I know this must be bad for Joe Biden, I just don’t know how.

Let’s finish the job.

“Squeaker” McCarthy

Republicans in disarray!

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Meanwhile over at truth Social, the former president is busy confessing to crimes.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

Second rate reporter says what?

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Reader Interactions

52Comments

  1. 1.

    used to be disgusted

    Well, you’ve got to give him a little credit: he clearly *has* been economizing on PR.

  4. 4.

    Left Coast Tom

    I guess this sort of ‘selflessness’ is why the good folks of Antigua ‘decided’ to give Sir Allen his ‘title’.

  5. 5.

    Lavocat

    Hey, the custom toilet seat was made of gold NOT platinum with diamond studs, motherfuckers! After all, I’m not a high-falutin guy!

  6. 6.

    Ricky Bobby

    Does self delusion know no limits?

    Apparently not. He actually thinks he’s the victim here. Amazing in a drive-by-the-car-crash-and-stare-at-the-body sort of way.

  8. 8.

    LD50

    Apparently not. He actually thinks he’s the victim here. Amazing in a drive-by-the-car-crash-and-stare-at-the-body sort of way.

    He probably doesn’t believe it. He’s already talking to whatever jury’s he’s gonna get. He’s hoping that if he can find some saps who think he’s a fine honorable Texan Man of the People, maybe he won’t die in prison like Madoff.

  10. 10.

    El Cid

    I always made sure that the caviar on board was Spanish fish-farmed caviar, not that rare Russian shit. You don’t want to go overboard on that stuff.

  11. 11.

    guest omen

    this is the best he could do? did he not learn anything from blago in how to taint your potential jury pool? first off, you drag your own children into the picture and set them up as victims.

  13. 13.

    Corner Stone

    @kpr
    I don’t capitalize your acronym because I respect your common man-ness.
    What kind of pie? My fav is straight chocolate. Never cared for the fruit or cobbler-esque pies. Mousse is a little too much for me.

  17. 17.

    DonkeyKong

    "I would only shit in toilets made of gold, not the diamond ones. A man’s got to stand for something or he’ll shit in anything."

  18. 18.

    used to be disgusted

    @corner stone

    find myself unable to afford pie — or capital letters — have resorted to cake — and on my jet not even that, only martini

  21. 21.

    Corner Stone

    @used to be
    Yeah..but what kind of vodka? Or are you implementing Gin fer Dog’s sake? You fucking British elitist! Burn, burn, yes you’re gonna burn!

  24. 24.

    AnneLaurie

    Well, for an egomaniac like Sir Stanford, it’s gotta hurt being referred to as the "second-biggest Ponzi schemer in history"…

  27. 27.

    Church Lady

    I hope they throw the jerk UNDER the jail. Stanford Financial came here, made a huge splash, threw beaucoup bucks around to local non-profits, and screwed a whole lot of locals that made the mistake of either investing with them or going to work there. He’s a mini-Madoff – same game, just smaller in scale.

  28. 28.

    Mike in NC

    I always made sure that the caviar on board was Spanish fish-farmed caviar, not that rare Russian shit. You don’t want to go overboard on that stuff.

    We only have Beluga caviar for breakfast, washed down with Dom Perignon. Otherwise enjoy a frugal salad for lunch and dinner. Don’t want to seem profligate in these hard times.

    Besides, my unemployment benefits only cover so much, ya know?

  29. 29.

    Dennis-SGMM

    Well I have a private jet but, it’s a green private jet. I had the lads at the mill grind up a few bags of emeralds to tint the paint. See; that’s frugal too: I made my own paint.

  31. 31.

    asiangrrlMN

    It’s late, and I’m tired, so I have but one thing to say to "Sir" Allen: Bite me.

    No, wait. I found other words.

    F*** you.

    Frugal my ass.

    I actually think a good punishment for guys like him and Madoff (I always want to type Made-off) is that they have to work at McDonald’s and volunteer at a soup kitchen every day. They get to live on the median wage of American workers, and not a penny more. They do not get to have health care insurance, either. In other words, they have to live like normal people. I think that just might be worse than imprisonment to these guys.

    Oh, and bite me.

  33. 33.

    guest omen

    if i were him, i would have read the madoff brouhaha as an early signal to get the heck out of dodge. why didn’t he escape to brazil or something?

  34. 34.

    Lupin

    This reminds me of a scene at the end of Jack Vance’s The Killing Machine.

    The villain is being hung, but he lived a long life of unparalleled luxury, literally sucking on the lifeforce of the peasants, who are now hanging him, but have been and will always be dirt-poor and miserable.

    One wonders who got the best deal.

  35. 35.

    imasmart

    @Mike in NC:

    We only have Beluga caviar for breakfast, washed down with Dom Perignon. Otherwise enjoy a frugal salad for lunch and dinner. Don’t want to seem profligate in these hard times.

    I’m sure there is arugula in there somewhere, you elitist bastard!

  38. 38.

    harlana pepper

    Re Ads:

    I don’t know how this ads thing works, John, but I just want to recommend a product and provide a link, the Sleepmate, for white noise. I bought one for the office (my last job was in a warehousey type of building and the acoustics were really driving me crazy). I liked it so much, I got one to sleep by because I just have to have white noise to sleep and using a fan in winter was NOT particularly energy conscious or comfortable. This provides a wonderful whirring sound, it’s not one of those things that has different settings like ocean sounds, etc.

    It’s a great product, just wanted to recommend. I had no idea they existed until just recently. The site linked to is providing free shipping. Also there are other products on the site related to sleep and also light therapy. I know you were interested in that at one time. Check it out. Thanks.

    hp

  39. 39.

    harlana pepper

    Wow, it’s kinda fun some of these guys really don’t know how to NOT be themselves (e.g., assholes) when interviewed which is what the America public needs to see. Watching AIG hearings was not much different. Please let’s have some more interviews like these. I like the weepiness, too. Reminds me of somebody, hmmmmm.

  40. 40.

    A Mom Anon

    While prison is where this asshole belongs,I can’t help but wish that he had to live his life out in a version of Survivor: Detroit(or Compton,or Cleveland,or,well ,just about any rust belt city). No health care,no resources,no nothin’. Let him scrape and scrap like most people have to.

    He wouldn’t last an hour.

  42. 42.

    David

    One red flag that brought Stanford attention was that a fund he was managing, made up of many different stocks, returned the same exact percentage two years in a row. The chances of that happening were several million to one.

  43. 43.

    Leelee for Obama

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Beat me to it. This should be a sentence that judges could impose!

    And to add my two cents: He can dial 1-800-Bite Me. I wish it was a toll call.

  44. 44.

    gex

    @David: Kind sounds like he wanted to get caught. Working it so the numbers were the same 2 years in a row sounds like a serial killer who starts taunting the police. Just begging to be found out.

  45. 45.

    Jay

    Whenever I hear about Stanford I’m reminded of how much he looks like Roy Walley of Walley World fame.

    Except Walley was really a good rich guy.

  46. 46.

    RobertB

    (inset: footage of Sir Allan with some $10,000 hand-tied fishing flies taped to his face)

    Why waste the tape? The hooks themselves will work even better.

  47. 47.

    JosieJ

    @guest omen:

    if i were him, i would have read the madoff brouhaha as an early signal to get the heck out of dodge. why didn’t he escape to brazil or something?

    Because he was so greedy he stuck around to squeeze even more out of the scheme, and so arrogant he figured he’d never get caught anyway.

    I’d never heard of this guy until I saw the infamous Jon Stewart video, and one look at this guy’s unctuous, shit-eating grin convinced me he was guilty as charged. If I were his lawyer, I wouldn’t bring him into court until I’d duct-taped his mouth shut and covered his head with a bag–one sight of him and the jury’d convict even before the opening arguments were finished.

  48. 48.

    Dennis-SGMM

    Stanford is so clueless that on his first day in prison he’ll ask the guard to bring him some caviar, creme fraiche and toast points.

  51. 51.

    Bob In Pacifica

    It’s crazy, but people quickly presume their standard of living. For me it took a couple of weeks to absorb any pay raise into what I considered necessary spending.

    That’s why there’s always a market for Republican thinking. People are always wanting more, and they’re encouraged to fear those who have less wanting theirs.

    Stanford should have at least learned how to present himself in front of his jury (the public), though, even though he doesn’t believe it. At a certain point faking humility is the best option when the mob is surrounding you.

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