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You are here: Home / Politics / First They Came For…

First They Came For…

by John Cole|  April 14, 20098:19 pm| 117 Comments

This post is in: Politics

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Charles Johnson. Then they went after AJ Strata.

For the life of me, I can not imagine why any conservative would read that nothing burger of a DHS report that talks about pretty commonly known stuff (have these people whinging about the report never been to the SPLC or ADL website, for goodness sakes?), look at it and say to themselves “When they are talking about dangerous right-wing extremists, they are talking about me!” Too absurd for words. Unless, of course…

In other news, Glenn Beck rambled on about secession again today while the Texas legislature worked on a bill regarding their sovereignty. I’m sure you all remember that the right-wing extremist who just killed three cops in Pittsburgh was very concerned about those issues.

Just a coincidence, of course.

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Reader Interactions

117Comments

  1. 1.

    omen

    April 14, 2009 at 8:26 pm

    i didn’t hear these guys screech when bush’s FEMA confiscated guns from law abiding citizens, post katrina.

  2. 2.

    Chum

    April 14, 2009 at 8:27 pm

    Yep, whatever happened to if you’ve done nothing wrong then you have nothing to worry about.

  3. 3.

    demkat620

    April 14, 2009 at 8:30 pm

    How long has Obama been president? About 90 days? How are they gonna last 4 years?

  4. 4.

    Keith

    April 14, 2009 at 8:36 pm

    How long has Obama been president? About 90 days? How are they gonna last 4 years?

    By feeding on the stem cells contained in discarded embryos

  5. 5.

    Larime the Gimp

    April 14, 2009 at 8:37 pm

    I think it’s great. We couldn’t do more to marginalize the GOP if we tried, ourselves. To borrow from Jon Stewart, they took a shit taco and decided to franchise the restaurant. The average American is just trying to get by. These fuck-knuckles are NOT going to get sympathy from them.

  6. 6.

    Ivan Ivanovich Renko

    April 14, 2009 at 8:37 pm

    As TBogg said– It’s all fun and games until they start looking at the white man.

    Michelle (bless her heart) thinks she’s white.

  7. 7.

    HitlerWorshippingPuppyKicker

    April 14, 2009 at 8:40 pm

    I’m torn.

    Am I supposed to be concerned (actually concerned, as opposed to David Broder Concerned) that the GOP is becoming radicalized, because this is Bad For America?

    Or, should I be gleeful that the GOP is becoming maginalized and will just embarrass itself into oblivion, and this could be Good For America?

    If the correct answer is A, or One, then is that Bad For America because … it splits the right and results in something like a third party movement that FukKs up the whole political landscape, or … for some other reason?

    Let me remind you that extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice, according to the Great Dogfather of the Putative Conservative Movement, Barry Hussein Goldwater.

  8. 8.

    breschau

    April 14, 2009 at 8:42 pm

    Am I the only one who is IMMENSELY enjoying the DHS freakout on the righty blogosphere? Personally, I find it hilarious.

    And if Vegas ran odds like this, what would have been the line on "Little Green Footballs will emerge as a leading voice of sanity among right-leaning sites post-1/20/2009"? 200:1? 400:1?

  9. 9.

    John S.

    April 14, 2009 at 8:43 pm

    i didn’t hear these guys screech when bush’s FEMA confiscated guns from law abiding citizens, post katrina.

    Oh no. You have it all wrong. According to the smug glibertarians over at Q and O, they were all over Bush his entire presidency, and they are just being consistent.

    McQ – prognosticating genius that he is – quietly explains to the rest of us retards on teh Left what the tea-bagging is really about:

    They aren’t about the level of taxation now.

    He then goes on to explain that people are enraged because Obama had the NERVE to actually put all his spending plans in the budget without resorting to accounting gimmicks and "supplemental" budgets to hide the true estimates. And SOMEONE (no, not teh poor gliberatrians!) "is going to have to pay for all this fiscal profligacy", goshdarnit!

    McQ prefers the Republican method of putting out a bullshit budget based on nothing, racking it all up on the federal charge card and then handing the bill to Democrats, who are now responsible for it because it’s in THEIR hands!

  10. 10.

    The Cat Who Would Be Tunch

    April 14, 2009 at 8:44 pm

    Regarding these types of stories, I’m not sure what to think anymore. People on the right are now beginning to fear greatly expanded government powers? Inciting people to secede is acceptable behavior? John Cole used to be a wingnut? What?

  11. 11.

    The Dangerman

    April 14, 2009 at 8:50 pm

    They want to secede? Can I be there to say "Bon Voyage"?

  12. 12.

    cleek

    April 14, 2009 at 8:50 pm

    remember, when Bush locked away, tortured, and drove insane a US citizen, it was to protect us the rest of us. and they cheered. to dissent was treason.

    fuck you, wingnuts. fuck you with a cattle prod in your rectum and jumper cables on your nipples.

  13. 13.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    April 14, 2009 at 8:51 pm

    John Cole used to be a wingnut?

    He still gets the wingnut lookin-at-ya-while-not-really-seein-ya glint in his eye once every coupla weeks. Don’t be lulled into a false sense of security. The wingnut-fu was strong in that one.

    Edit: One of the clues is false equivalencies, like Al Gore was like John McCain in the debates.

  14. 14.

    Ash

    April 14, 2009 at 8:52 pm

    @HitlerWorshippingPuppyKicker: the correct answer is both? I dunno, that’s a hard one. It’s both awesome and insanely fucking scary at the same time.

  15. 15.

    Zach

    April 14, 2009 at 8:57 pm

    The stupidest thing about the hubbub over this thing is that people think it’s overwhelmingly obvious. A lot of the stuff in there isn’t necessarily obvious to every single police department in the nation. It connects the dots in a lot of ways and a similar warning to local PDs might’ve gone some way towards avoiding a Waco, OKC, etc. This sort of national threat evaluation filtering down to law enforcement at the local level is like one of the few good things to come out of the Homeland Security reorganization. Stuff in there like the points about looking towards individuals as much as organized groups thanks to the Internet isn’t particularly trivial. I mean, Stormfront people are organizing some of the protests tomorrow… how stupid can people be?

    It’s not like this was meant for wide publication. I think Obama’s Homeland Security department is just smart enough to know that it’s futile to try and keep a lid on these national dispatches; if there was anything similarly silly to any audience during Bush’s term it always leaked out anyway.

  16. 16.

    John Cole

    April 14, 2009 at 8:58 pm

    @Just Some Fuckhead: I could fall off the wagon again at any moment. Keep an eye on me. This will be a lifelong struggle.

  17. 17.

    Krista

    April 14, 2009 at 8:59 pm

    to dissent was treason.

    Exactly. These are the people who sent death threats to a frigging country music group because the lead singer dared to say that she was ashamed that GWB was from Texas. And now, they have the cheek to actually whine when a government report points out that their side has a fringe element that might be a teeny-tiny bit prone to violence?

    If they don’t want to be called crazy, maybe they could try…oh, I don’t know…NOT being crazy?

  18. 18.

    Zach

    April 14, 2009 at 9:02 pm

    Also, there wasn’t much hysteria on the right when the Maryland state police, under a Republican governor actually infiltrated harmless left-wing groups spending who knows how many taxpayer dollars sneaking into meetings and leafing through paranoid pamphlets and whatnot. Apparently they spent a lot of time at a play anarchist coffee shop down the street from me.

  19. 19.

    Krista

    April 14, 2009 at 9:03 pm

    I could fall off the wagon again at any moment. Keep an eye on me. This will be a lifelong struggle.

    I don’t know if you’d ever go back to full wingnut. I could see you voting Republican again, if the party got its shit together and the R candidate was genuinely better than the D candidate. But even then, you’re too honest with yourself (and we’re too honest with you) for you to regress completely into the state you were in back in the early days of this blog.

  20. 20.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    April 14, 2009 at 9:04 pm

    @John Cole:

    I could fall off the wagon again at any moment. Keep an eye on me. This will be a lifelong struggle.

    I’m here for ya, brother.

  21. 21.

    AJStrata

    April 14, 2009 at 9:05 pm

    See John,

    Tried to tell you I was not one of them, and now it is official. Those people are nuts.

    AJStrata

  22. 22.

    HitlerWorshippingPuppyKicker

    April 14, 2009 at 9:08 pm

    fuck you with a cattle prod in your rectum and jumper cables on your nipples.

    Man, you are going to get a lot of requests for a picture.

  23. 23.

    kormgar

    April 14, 2009 at 9:09 pm

    Oh…Texas…Please Secede

    Maybe split first and leave us Austin

  24. 24.

    JL

    April 14, 2009 at 9:10 pm

    @Krista: Early this morning you were commenting about the misuse of language. I found this comment on LGF and I’m not sure what it means. The comment was in reference to the big teabagging event with Hannity tomorrow occurring at the State Capital.
    Newt Gingrich and Neal Boortz are also involved
    HEAVILY

    Now since I live in the Atlanta area, I am familiar with both Newt and Neal. If one were to heave on Neal or Newt what would they heave and would that be heavily?
    LGF is Little Green Footballs, a right wing blog.

  25. 25.

    Krista

    April 14, 2009 at 9:12 pm

    Well, JL, I’m not familiar with Neal Boortz, but thinking of Newt does tend to give one the heaves, so perhaps the sentence isn’t all that inaccurate…

  26. 26.

    Incertus

    April 14, 2009 at 9:13 pm

    Can’t remember where I read it, but isn’t this basically Malkin et al admitting to being wingnuts? After all, the report was talking about extremists, not conservatives. So what is Malkin screeching about if she’s not an extremist? I certainly don’t get het up when people start bashing Truthers who claim to be lefties–the Truthers deserve it and the bashers aren’t talking about me.

  27. 27.

    Corner Stone

    April 14, 2009 at 9:15 pm

    @cleek

    fuck you with a cattle prod in your rectum and jumper cables on your nipples.

    Wow. You’re really, really in touch with what drives the sexually repressed wingnut.
    Are we sure you’ve never been an elected Republican official? This sounds familiar somehow…

  28. 28.

    omen

    April 14, 2009 at 9:17 pm

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    did you used to be a wingnut too?

  29. 29.

    Corner Stone

    April 14, 2009 at 9:18 pm

    @kormgar

    Oh…Texas…Please Secede

    C’mon man/woman. Don’t leave me here all alone with them.

  30. 30.

    JL

    April 14, 2009 at 9:24 pm

    @John Cole: I was the old-fashioned type of repub that was concerned about paying debts, then Reagan was elected. I was an old-fashioned type of independent until the repubs tried to bring Terri Schiavo back to life. The last election, I voted straight democratic. There is no old-fashioned repub party. It died a long, long time ago.

  31. 31.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    April 14, 2009 at 9:24 pm

    @omen: Nah, too wishy washy.

  32. 32.

    Corner Stone

    April 14, 2009 at 9:24 pm

    Ok, funny story to be told here. I called one of my wingnut friends today and asked how his anarchist self was doing. He didn’t agree with "anarchy" but I brought up Bachmann and Beck and he didn’t have much conviction either way. He quibbled with me a little then I asked him what he was doing tomorrow. He said, "Going downtown to protest this tax and spend government." SO! I said, "Ah, you’re doing a little teabagging tomorrow, eh?" There was no pause, no rebuttal, nothing – just his answer, "Yeah, I’m going to join the grassroots protest."
    They are all freaking clueless! Absolutely no sense of self-awareness. I could barely contain myself the rest of the conversation. I called him a hypocrit a few times, called him out about GWB’s borrow and spend admin but he just answered something about RINO’s, etc.
    Freakin hilarious.

  33. 33.

    slightly_peeved

    April 14, 2009 at 9:30 pm

    Man, you are going to get a lot of requests for a picture.

    Didn’t he just describe the sex scene from Showgirls? Either they were using a cattle prod, or they threw a plugged-in toaster into the pool mid-scene.

  34. 34.

    Martin

    April 14, 2009 at 9:31 pm

    fuck you, wingnuts. fuck you with a cattle prod in your rectum and jumper cables on your nipples.

    Toss in a wetsuit and I can’t imagine them saying no.

  35. 35.

    Ella in NM

    April 14, 2009 at 9:35 pm

    @demkat620:

    How long has Obama been president? About 90 days? How are they gonna last 4 years?

    What if–God forbid–they have found some sort of Viagra for the stupid part of their brains? They’ll be able to do this shit forever.

  36. 36.

    over_educated

    April 14, 2009 at 9:38 pm

    remember, when Bush locked away, tortured, and drove insane a US citizen, it was to protect us the rest of us. and they cheered. to dissent was treason.

    Hey, also remember when it was out patriotic duty not to question the presidents covert, illegal policy of wiretapping U.S. citizens?

    who wants to take bets when they start accusing obama of using similar powers to spy on their asses, and how they are "outraged" at the violation of their constitutional rights.

    This has the makings of the most awesome week ever, as I watch my conservative relatives heads actually explode.

  37. 37.

    Corner Stone

    April 14, 2009 at 9:38 pm

    @Ella

    they have found some sort of Viagra for the stupid part of their brains

    I have no idea what this actually means. But somehow it just seems…right.

  38. 38.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    April 14, 2009 at 9:40 pm

    while the Texas legislature worked on a bill regarding their sovereignty.

    Fine, bye, see ya. Want to travel outside of your country? OK, apply for a passport at the nearest U.S. embassy, once anyone can be arsed to build one. Need help cleaning up after one of the hurricanes that slams into ya’ll on an annual basis? You may ask for funds via the channels available to any other nation. Oh and by the way, our determination to kick our foreign oil habit? That now includes you.

  39. 39.

    Corner Stone

    April 14, 2009 at 9:45 pm

    Fine, bye, see ya. Want to travel outside of your country? OK, apply for a passport at the nearest U.S. embassy, once anyone can be arsed to build one. Need help cleaning up after one of the hurricanes that slams into ya’ll on an annual basis? You may ask for funds via the channels available to any other nation. Oh and by the way, our determination to kick our foreign oil habit? That now includes you.

    Bwah-ha-ha!
    Ever heard of the Port of Houston?

    It is the busiest port in the United States in terms of foreign tonnage, second-busiest in the United States in terms of overall tonnage, and tenth-busiest in the world.

    Now what’re you going to do? Ship more from Lousyiana? Ha! Shove more outta LA? Double-ha!
    I think we understand each other.

  40. 40.

    omen

    April 14, 2009 at 9:52 pm

    @cleek:

    Bush locked away, tortured, and drove insane a US citizen

    david shuster mentioned bush disappeared 55 american citizens. that they know about.

  41. 41.

    NonyNony

    April 14, 2009 at 9:53 pm

    For the life of me, I can not imagine why any conservative would read that nothing burger of a DHS report that talks about pretty commonly known stuff (have these people whinging about the report never been to the SPLC or ADL website, for goodness sakes?), look at it and say to themselves “When they are talking about dangerous right-wing extremists, they are talking about me!”

    Well, for starters many of them have bought into the idea that the SPLC is some kind of radical leftist group out to bring down America. Much like the ACLU and ACORN. I’ve been trying to figure out which member of the Echo Chamber put the SPLC on the "enemies list" and why, but I’ve been hearing the the SPLC’s assessments were "not to be trusted" for over a decade now from wingnuts.

  42. 42.

    geg6

    April 14, 2009 at 9:53 pm

    Please, please, please let Texas vote to secede. I can’t think of any other single action that would improve this country in one fell swoop faster than to get rid of that hellhole to which I hope never to be forced to ever grace with my presence again. Any place that would produce assholes like W or Cornyn or DeLay should be nuked immediately and the soil sown with salt. Of course, that would only improve the place so I might have to come up with something that would actually vaporize the place and everything in it. Gawd, there’s no place I hate more than TX. With the sole exceptions of Austin and San Antonio. We can keep those.

  43. 43.

    Corner Stone

    April 14, 2009 at 10:00 pm

    @geg6
    If you’re jealous just say jealous.
    We understand.

  44. 44.

    JWW

    April 14, 2009 at 10:03 pm

    I don’t see how this should be pointed at the GOP. Where do any of you see a trillion, only on the beach in sand pebbles.

    This really has nothing to do with President Obama, it is the current congress.

    I would like to have a lot of things, but I haven’t come to your door and ask you to pay for them.

    If I as an individual came to you door and asked you for the money, Oh sorry, you wouldn’t answer your door.

  45. 45.

    Common Sense

    April 14, 2009 at 10:04 pm

    Fuck you overgeneralizing pansies. Texas voted at a lower percentage for the GOP candidate than Kansas or Nebraska. They have like the third most Democrats of any state. Yeah they gave you DeLay. They also gave you Ann Richards and Barbara Jordan you douche.

    No Texas equals:

    No Molly Ivins (RIP)
    no Willie Nelson
    no Joe Ely
    no Buddy Holly
    no Lyle Lovett
    no Delbert McClinton

    Oh yeah and no fucking power for the rest of you considering we refine like a third of all the energy in the US.

  46. 46.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    April 14, 2009 at 10:07 pm

    I think we understand each other.

    Sure: 1. Let Texas secede. 2. Claim they have WMD. 3. Invade (they’ll understand).

    Seriously, you know and I know and Gov. Hairy Perry* knows they’re just fucking around (apparently they have nothing better to do down there). But it sure would be funny if the President said OK, we’ll use your star for D.C.

    Actually it wouldn’t be funny because NM, OK, AR & LA would be squashed by people stampeding out of there.

    Actually, no, I really don’t care if they secede.

    *Remember when people thought he was some sort of cool progressive dude for requiring HPV vaccinations for female students?

    Haw, haw, haw, glumph, snort!

  47. 47.

    someguy

    April 14, 2009 at 10:13 pm

    @ Common Sense

    Texas also gave us a state with an ego the size of New York’s, and more crazed gun totin’ Republicans than any state other than the State of Insanity, which come to think of it is mostly populated with Republicans. And I think the technical term for the refined gooey stuff is "energy." "Power" is that stuff that makes your tongue tingle when you lick a nine volt battery or stick aforementioned tongue into the ‘lecktrickal sockit.

  48. 48.

    cleek

    April 14, 2009 at 10:14 pm

    Oh yeah and no fucking power for the rest of you considering we refine like a third of all the energy in the US.

    go ahead, secede. and look up the definition of "fungible" while you’re at it.

  49. 49.

    Dennis-SGMM

    April 14, 2009 at 10:18 pm

    Texas’ talk of secession is nothing new. When I lived down there forty years ago I met any number of Texans who were convinced that Texas had negotiated the right to secede at any time when it joined the Union. It’s just something they do every now and then.

  50. 50.

    Corner Stone

    April 14, 2009 at 10:18 pm

    "Fungible"? The fuck TX is. I do not think this word means what you think it means.
    Your substitute please? If we’re commoditized please list the exchange.

  51. 51.

    John Cole

    April 14, 2009 at 10:19 pm

    His point was oil is a fungible commodity.

  52. 52.

    Corner Stone

    April 14, 2009 at 10:20 pm

    more crazed gun totin’ Republicans

    Don’t forget us crazed gun totin’ liberals! Heaaayyyy!

  53. 53.

    Bill Teefy

    April 14, 2009 at 10:20 pm

    @Corner Stone: Who said we would let Texanists control the ports and waterways? Or for that matter all post offices and federal buildings, installations and highways. Asides there are still a LOT of good Americans in Texas and I am not willing to leave those patriots behind just because of a few misguided whackos.

    And why do States get all the rights? Why stop at that level of gubernmints. Can’t Austin secede from Texas and declare itself a protectorate of the U.S.A.? How about a sanitary district in Waco. Maybe the Texanists are oppressing them more than they like.

    If they want to attack the United States, well it has been tried before. Although I think after teh Shawk and Awl we will be welcomed with cake.

    Dibs on pulling down the statue of Perry

  54. 54.

    Jay C

    April 14, 2009 at 10:20 pm

    @Common Sense:

    And "No Texas" = No Kinky Friedman, either.

    That would be too much to bear…

  55. 55.

    Emma Anne

    April 14, 2009 at 10:21 pm

    @AJStrata:

    Those people are nuts.

    You must have pissed them off – someone has taken your site down.

  56. 56.

    Fax Paladin

    April 14, 2009 at 10:22 pm

    Please to leave those of us who never voted for Gov. Goodhair or his predecessor out of this…

    Oh, and the Strata website’s down.

  57. 57.

    Corner Stone

    April 14, 2009 at 10:22 pm

    His point was oil is a fungible commodity.

    I disagree. There’s no mention of the commodity, which of course is fungible to a large degree. The mention was of the refining and provision, which is clearly not fungible, nor commodotized.

  58. 58.

    Common Sense

    April 14, 2009 at 10:23 pm

    @someguy:

    Texas also gave us a state with an ego the size of New York’s, and more crazed gun totin’ Republicans than any state other than the State of Insanity,

    And yet it’s the nutball right fringe in PA and NY shooting people up. Huh.

    Christ the second TX elects a Dem to the Senate (BTW Bill White is mulling a run for KBH’s seat) they’ll magically become a decent place again. Until then, sure they are all crazy right wingers. Other than the 4 million that voted for Obama (more than all but two states) of course.

    Texas is a microcosm of America you sweeping statement making morons. The cities are blue. Thus Houston has a Democratic mayor and Dallas has a lesbian sheriff. Yeah the rural areas are batshit crazy religous conservative. Nothing at all like Orange County CA or upstate NY I’m sure.

  59. 59.

    Corner Stone

    April 14, 2009 at 10:24 pm

    @Bill Teefy
    What the hell is a "sanitary district"?

  60. 60.

    Corner Stone

    April 14, 2009 at 10:27 pm

    Who said we would let Texanists control the ports and waterways?

    Ha, ha, ha! Bring it.
    And believe it or not, I’m one of the more sane Texas natives.

  61. 61.

    Corner Stone

    April 14, 2009 at 10:29 pm

    @Common Sense
    You forgot to mention that Austin County is one of the poorest counties in TX but it’s a certain stronghold of Republicanism. Go figure, eh?

  62. 62.

    Common Sense

    April 14, 2009 at 10:32 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    I disagree. There’s no mention of the commodity, which of course is fungible to a large degree. The mention was of the refining and provision, which is clearly not fungible, nor commodotized.

    This is exactly my point. Houston makes the materials you use. You can’t survive without it because none of you wants your city to look like Pasadena TX.

    And no, Texas shouldn’t secede (there I just proved I’m no true Texan). Because there are things we don’t make that we need from y’all. So Cali keep sending us your avocados and porn stars. New York keep fucking with our investments. We’ll keep the lights on for the rest of you.

    By the way the Bushes are fucking Yankees. Connecticut born.

  63. 63.

    NYTexan

    April 14, 2009 at 10:32 pm

    This whole ‘secession’ thing is being blown WAY out of proportion, mostly due to them actually using sovereignty in a more specific circumstance than we’re used to seeing.

    Specifically, this is a good ol’ fashioned state’s rights bit; they’re claiming that federal gov’t acts that require states to comply or risk losing funding are unconstitutional, as they lean on the sovereignty expressly granted to states via the 10th amendment.

    This comes from a few different things; EPA guidelines that have forced the state to lower its speed limit are an example that stuck on the minds of a lot of people when it happened.

    Hell, they might even be right about it; I’m not sure anyone’s made a convincing argument that the way the feds lean on states (and therefore eat away at state sovereignty) is in fact constitutional. It’s somewhat dubious and I’m mildly sympathetic to their aims.

    But a USA that split sovereignty exactly as described in the Constitution would be a very different country than we live in today (and that’s not even touching civil rights/slavery); we’re way past the point where we could reasonably run a more federal system.

    So yeah, they’re not trying to secede, but pushing back on federal encroachment on state sovereignty. Whether you agree with it or not, they’re certainly not trying to recreate the Republic of Texas.

    By the way, this is coming from a liberal for whom 5 minutes alone with Rick Perry while wielding a baseball bat would be a very happy 5 minutes indeed.

  64. 64.

    Corner Stone

    April 14, 2009 at 10:33 pm

    @Common Sense
    H-Town baby! Born and raised Texan here, so I’m not sure of your point.

  65. 65.

    Martin

    April 14, 2009 at 10:37 pm

    I’d be a little more sympathetic to Texas if they were declaring sovereignty from government policies that weren’t primarily set by their former governor. But no, Texas sent us Bush, and now Texas wants to cut and run from the shitpile that he built.

    If you want your dignity back, recall Perry and every pigfucker that stands with him, otherwise piss off. Nobody hesitates to shit on California, but for all our problems we’re not proposing checking out of the nation.

  66. 66.

    Jenkins

    April 14, 2009 at 10:38 pm

    Texas also has the assholiest cops in the entire country.

  67. 67.

    Halteclere

    April 14, 2009 at 10:40 pm

    Kinky Friedman is throwing his hat back into the Texas Gubernatorial election ring. Maybe now that there will be an even greater Republican vote split (last time it was between Perry and Strayhorn) Kinky will have a chance.

    But personally I think Kinky’s 15 minutes of electoral fame is up. But maybe there will be a crack opened for a good Democrat to step through.

  68. 68.

    Common Sense

    April 14, 2009 at 10:43 pm

    Didn’t Brian Schweitzer sign HRC 50 as well?

    Any of you morons wanna nuke Montana? Hell they went red last time, that’s enough for some of you.

  69. 69.

    Corner Stone

    April 14, 2009 at 10:46 pm

    "The" assholiest cops? Didn’t MI cops just taser two separate 15 yr olds to death?
    Taser yo

  70. 70.

    Halteclere

    April 14, 2009 at 10:47 pm

    @Jenkins:

    Texas also has the assholiest cops in the entire country.

    I believe someone in Arizona is at the top of that list.

  71. 71.

    NonyNony

    April 14, 2009 at 10:49 pm

    @NYTexan:

    Hell, they might even be right about it; I’m not sure anyone’s made a convincing argument that the way the feds lean on states (and therefore eat away at state sovereignty) is in fact constitutional. It’s somewhat dubious and I’m mildly sympathetic to their aims.

    Here’s the problem with that argument – if the Courts were to somehow order that the Feds were putting some kind of undue burden on Texas’s (or any state’s) sovereignty by putting conditions on the money they hand out, Congress could respond by cutting off the funds entirely. It’s a two-way street – you get the money because you agree to certain restrictions. You don’t want to agree to the restrictions, you don’t get the money.

    The speed limit example you gave is an exact example of this. In exchange for Federal highway dollars there was a speed limit reduction requirement. States that chose not to conform to the new limits could turn down the money for Interstate Highway funding. The coercion is all financially based – there’s no one holding a gun to Texas’s head and saying "take the money or else" except to the extent that they say "take the money or else you won’t get the money and we’ll give it to someone less whiny about it, I think Ohio might like some extra money if you don’t want it".

    All it takes is political will from the state legislatures to turn down money from the Feds. Surely if this "sovereignty" is that important the people of the state would be willing to either do without or have their taxes raised to cover the money they’re not getting from the Feds, right?

  72. 72.

    HitlerWorshippingPuppyKicker

    April 14, 2009 at 10:52 pm

    @Halteclere:

    That would be our beloved Sheriff Joe.

    Read, as they say, the whole thing.

  73. 73.

    Common Sense

    April 14, 2009 at 11:00 pm

    Oh and btw California was on board with the whole state’s rights thing too… right up until last November.

    Oddly enough, it’s almost like both sides see government tyranny every time someone with a different political viewpoint gains power. Otherwise they’re fine with it.

  74. 74.

    Dennis-SGMM

    April 14, 2009 at 11:04 pm

    Nothing at all like Orange County CA or upstate NY I’m sure.

    Try driving through CA’s San Joaquin Valley. "Children of the Corn": it’s not just a movie.

  75. 75.

    zoe kentucky from pittsburgh

    April 14, 2009 at 11:08 pm

    It’s foolish to pick on Texas for many the reasons that Corner Stone mentioned above. To pretend that they have more wingnuts than anywhere else is absurd, as we all know that wingnuts are EVERYWHERE.

    I can think of a few other states that I’d love to see secede waaaay more than Texas– take Alabama and Oklahoma for starters.

  76. 76.

    Martin

    April 14, 2009 at 11:10 pm

    Oddly enough, it’s almost like both sides see government tyranny every time someone with a different political viewpoint gains power. Otherwise they’re fine with it.

    You’re seriously comparing California pushing for tougher environmental standards to a Governor suggesting secession from the nation?

    And California has been pushing environmental standards against the federal government for 30 years, regardless of who was in office.

  77. 77.

    AhabTRuler

    April 14, 2009 at 11:11 pm

    Look, Texas is representative of our nation precisely because it is neck deep in assholes.

  78. 78.

    HeyerKnowledge

    April 14, 2009 at 11:15 pm

    "Better red than dead", isn’t that what you say?

  79. 79.

    Bill Teefy

    April 14, 2009 at 11:19 pm

    @Corner Stone: It’s a high fallutin garbage service.

  80. 80.

    anonevent

    April 14, 2009 at 11:21 pm

    @Corner Stone: Part of me knows that Perry is a coward, but I was actually contemplating what it would take to move out of Texas if it were to try to secede. I’m not staying here.

  81. 81.

    Bill Teefy

    April 14, 2009 at 11:22 pm

    @Corner Stone: Well since you said sane I am assuming you are an American and will defend your state and your country against the Texanists and keep Texas in the U.S.A.

    But, not being a Texan, sane or otherwise, I may be assuming too much.

  82. 82.

    HeyerKnowledge

    April 14, 2009 at 11:24 pm

    Lets have more laws so everyone is confused.

  83. 83.

    MikeJ

    April 14, 2009 at 11:26 pm

    Maybe split first and leave us Austin

    Oh great, the Austin airlift when the braindead build a wall. I do have to say, the checkpoint charlie museum was one of the better tourist places I went in Berlin. (Cowpunk bands in off the beaten path bars were the absolute best.) In fifty years Austin might have something similar.

  84. 84.

    Corner Stone

    April 14, 2009 at 11:31 pm

    Listen, let’s make this clear.
    All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We’re gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches.

  85. 85.

    Mike in NC

    April 14, 2009 at 11:32 pm

    Texas is representative of our nation precisely because it is neck deep in assholes.

    SC will give you a run for your money. They’re really sold on the "United Socialist States of America" crap down there. Tinfoil hat-wearing nitwits.

  86. 86.

    NYTexan

    April 14, 2009 at 11:35 pm

    @NonyNony

    Not necessarily disagreeing, but it’s a gray area because while ‘political will’ could indeed allow them to forego funding, what state exactly can afford that? The federal gov’t controls the purse; no state can reasonably raise taxes substantial enough to cover what they refuse from the feds. While there is nothing FORCING them to take that money, due to the prevailing tax situation they have little choice in the matter. As such, I’d say it’s more of a gray area than you’re letting on, which is why I’d say it’s a potentially dubious defense for the federal government in terms of constitutionality. Were this going on between two individuals, extortion wouldn’t be an unreasonable term ("Oh, you want that money your residents paid me earlier that was supposed to go to highway funding? You better do what I went to get it, then.")

    That said, I’m fully aware there’s little that can be done about it now, I’m just saying that this bill is far more reasonable than it is being claimed, and not even on particularly shaky legal ground (rare for a right-wing bill). I just seriously see all this hyping on Dkos of Perry pushing for secession as something that’s extremely excessive. There are far more ridiculous things going on that we can discuss.

  87. 87.

    Corner Stone

    April 14, 2009 at 11:36 pm

    @Bill Teefy
    Actually, I said, "more sane". It’s all relative.
    Me and my brother against my cousin, me and my cousin against my tribe, me and my tribe against the world.
    Insha’Allah.

  88. 88.

    Halteclere

    April 14, 2009 at 11:40 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    All you motherfuckers are gonna pay.

    Yea, and we’ll take our mesquite charcoal plus Mary Kay, Texas Instruments and Neiman Marcus products along with us.

    And don’t forget that we’ll also take the Texas Rangers. Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

    P.S I’m not from Texas, nor will claim to be, but have lived in Dallas for near a decade.

    P.P.S The Rangers have sucked the whole time I’ve been here.

  89. 89.

    clussman

    April 14, 2009 at 11:47 pm

    Man I wrote a long winded diatribe attacking the assholes attacking my great state. Suffice it to say there are a lot of great people down here in Texas.

    And Martin (and everybody else) pay attention: the idiot governor of our state has not suggested secession. Okay? So please stop suggesting that he has. Please see #63 above.

  90. 90.

    HeyerKnowledge

    April 14, 2009 at 11:52 pm

    Let Texas (the whole state), after they have voted, to leave the good ‘ol USA. Is there something to be afraid of? Texas has every right to do so. No one likes to be under the thumb of big brother.

  91. 91.

    canuckistani

    April 14, 2009 at 11:56 pm

    I am confused by a world in which Charles Johnson isn’t crazy. Maybe I hallucinated it.

  92. 92.

    Mike

    April 15, 2009 at 12:04 am

    I did my monthly surfing of right-wing sites a few days ago, and I was shocked to see that the latest action at Little Green Footballs is only marginally insane.

  93. 93.

    Kyle

    April 15, 2009 at 12:05 am

    What the hell is a "sanitary district"?

    In the rest of America it’s an administrative district responsible for municipal sewage services.
    I guess in Texas all you have are ‘outhouses’.

    "Montana is what I imagined Texas would be like from listening to Texans describe it" — Mark Twain

    "If I owned hell and Texas, I’d rent out Texas and live in hell" — General Sheridan

  94. 94.

    clussman

    April 15, 2009 at 12:07 am

    BTW, one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a long time was a giant (6’9, 300lb) gay redneck and all of his straight redneck friends congratulating a 19yr old gay redneck on getting his first blowjob (rite of passage and all that). And then continue talking about it for a good 20 minutes because it was making the old redneck uncomfortable and everybody found that hilarious. From this exchange I gleaned several things:

    The underground poker club I was at fucking rocks.

    The culture wars are over and the Team Asshole lost resoundingly. Even if they don’t know it yet.

    Texas is a great goddamned state and don’t any of you ever forget it.

    That is all.

  95. 95.

    clussman

    April 15, 2009 at 12:10 am

    Deleted. Damn John moderates fast.

  96. 96.

    TenguPhule

    April 15, 2009 at 12:13 am

    In other news, Glenn Beck rambled on about secession again today while the Texas legislature worked on a bill regarding their sovereignty.

    Hahahaha, yeah.

    Get in fucking line.

  97. 97.

    HeyerKnowledge

    April 15, 2009 at 12:30 am

    I think every state should attain more of their sovereignty.
    GET YOUR THUMB OFF OF ME!

  98. 98.

    Mnemosyne

    April 15, 2009 at 1:22 am

    Wow, some people sure get whiny when you call their bluff, don’t they?

  99. 99.

    Common Sense

    April 15, 2009 at 1:22 am

    @Corner Stone:

    Didn’t mean to insinuate you were one of the unenlightened Corner. I was agreeing with your summation, not refuting it.

    Born and raised Houston myself. I live in the Heights now. For those of you that are ignorant of Texas geography (I’m going to assume from the comments that’s damn near all of you that aren’t living here), the Heights is a Houston neighborhood. It trends VERY liberal, and the area is primarily local shops (antiques, coffeeshops, and bookstores mostly), randomly interspersed in an old and very well maintained neighborhood. The neighborhood is roughly 80% white, yet our representative is Sheila Jackson Lee.

    Prior to the Heights I lived in Montrose, downtown, and West University. Anyone with a cursory understanding of Texas knows these aren’t your DeLay districts.

    What people that aren’t from here fail to grasp is that Texas is a very large and diverse place. We aren’t all redneck queerstompers in ten gallon hats. The state is basically four states rolled into one — how they’ve coexisted this long I’ll never know.

    South Texas — The Valley is dominated by Hispanics and hasn’t voted for a Republican in God knows how long.

    East Texas — Basically western Louisiana. Bible thumping yahoos that care only about what their whackjob preacher told them God cares about this week. These are the people that cause sane Texans endless grief.

    West Texas — think New Mexico — very libertarian, but not necessarily Republican.

    The Panhandle — southern Oklahoma. These people are the Texans that are scared of all the immigrants. They are the ranchers and oilmen.

    The cities are regions unto themselves, and most trend blue.

    And I can’t for the life of me figure out how Perry was elected, much less reelected. I don’t know a soul that supports him, and I know a pretty broad cross section of people.

  100. 100.

    Corner Stone

    April 15, 2009 at 1:38 am

    Kyle
    And we’uns just have Municipal Utility Districts, or MUDS. Dayum but I feel all simple now.
    And if you’re referring to Mr. Philip Sheridan – I’d kick myself squah in the noits before I’d give a shit what that POS has to say about anything.

  101. 101.

    Bubblegum Tate

    April 15, 2009 at 1:57 am

    SC will give you a run for your money.

    SC is such a fucked-up, bass-ackward state, I have to wonder if it’s actually one gigantic spoof project.

  102. 102.

    cleek

    April 15, 2009 at 7:11 am

    The mention was of the refining and provision, which is clearly not fungible, nor commodotized.

    umm….

    when you refine oil you get a bunch of other things. things like gasoline, kerosene and asphalt – all of which are, yes, fungible. it doesn’t matter where the shit is refined, the price remains the same. so go ahead, secede. it makes no difference to the energy market.

  103. 103.

    bob h

    April 15, 2009 at 8:21 am

    Succession? Just let the fuckers go. They have been an albatross around our necks all our history. The United States can never be the country it wants to be with these assholes tagging along.

  104. 104.

    Fulcanelli

    April 15, 2009 at 8:32 am

    Ah, the Great State of Texas(TM), a state of mind that thinks its a country. Lots of pretty women and great musicians. Got to love it for that alone… If we could just find a way to contain the export of it’s politicians to the national arena. They’ve gone WAYYYYYYY over quota for at least a generation or two.

  105. 105.

    JayDenver

    April 15, 2009 at 8:47 am

    Ah, secession. A whole different take on the "America, Love it or leave it" crowd.

  106. 106.

    someguy

    April 15, 2009 at 9:58 am

    Here’s the problem with that argument – if the Courts were to somehow order that the Feds were putting some kind of undue burden on Texas’s (or any state’s) sovereignty by putting conditions on the money they hand out, Congress could respond by cutting off the funds entirely.

    No, they probably couldn’t. They’d have to restrict funding in a way that is reasonably related to their problems with Texas. They couldn’t, for instance, punish Texas for refusing to comply with regulations of federally funded highways, by cutting off block grants to fund Aid to Women and Children (WIC). They could cut off highway funds or perhaps all transportation funds. See South Dakota v. Dole .

  107. 107.

    Faux News

    April 15, 2009 at 10:27 am

    Now what’re you going to do? Ship more from Lousyiana? Ha! Shove more outta LA? Double-ha!
    I think we understand each other.

    How about the USA bombs the shit out of the Republic of Texas sending that shit hole of a state/country back to the 19th century? I’m not worried about the Texas Air Force or Texas Rangers lasting too long in a new Shock & Awe campaign.

    Of course the USA won’t bomb the port of Houston. We will just occupy it and annex it as part of the USA. Maybe LA would want it.

    I think we DO understand each other now.

  108. 108.

    AJStrata

    April 15, 2009 at 10:31 am

    Emma Anne,

    No, just got a helluva lot of traffic from my conversion.

    But oh yes, they are really pissed off at me.

  109. 109.

    Common Sense

    April 15, 2009 at 10:37 am

    @cleek:

    when you refine oil you get a bunch of other things. things like gasoline, kerosene and asphalt – all of which are, yes, fungible. it doesn’t matter where the shit is refined, the price remains the same. so go ahead, secede. it makes no difference to the energy market.

    Poor naive cleek. When Texas makes its corporate paradise with a negative tax rate and you’re stuck with ever rising energy prices due to cap and trade, we might cut the tariff in half for ya. Wouldn’t want the grandmothers in Maine freezing to death because none of y’all want a refining plant in your back yard wouldja?

    @Faux News:

    Louisiana would never take Houston. Not after we took in all the Katrina victims.

    Speaking of, how many citizens did your state feed and house after that catastrophe? Texas saved half a million lives. How’d you do?

  110. 110.

    cleek

    April 15, 2009 at 10:48 am

    we might cut the tariff in half for ya

    do whatcha gotta do. tariff all ya like. but again, "fungible".

  111. 111.

    Corner Stone

    April 15, 2009 at 11:34 am

    @cleek
    I’m really not sure of your whole "fungible" argument.

    it doesn’t matter where the shit is refined

    But it certainly *does* matter where it’s refined. Those refineries are certainly *not* fungible. Sure, a refinery is a refinery is a refinery – have you seen the list of capacity? Do you think your Canadian friends can ramp up to counteract the loss of 2,000,000 bbl/d? And that’s just from the Top 5 refineries in TX. I could be wrong but I don’t think anyone’s built one in the US in the last 30 yrs +/-. Or maybe you could have another country refine it for you and transport it? Our friends in South America or the ME would lurv to help us out.
    So, the oil and it’s other products definitely are fungible. But the capacity to refine currently is not. I really don’t know what you’re arguing here.

  112. 112.

    Fax Paladin

    April 15, 2009 at 11:38 am

    @Common Sense:
    Perry is the shining example of the Pointy-Haired Governor: crap at doing his job, but very, very good at keeping it. The charlie-foxtrot of an election last time, with Kinky and Strayhorn both running as independents, helped enormously by thoroughly splitting up the "Perry sucks" vote…

  113. 113.

    Cackalacka

    April 15, 2009 at 12:37 pm

    I do not know much about Texas, but I am certain about one thing: I live in one of the forty-nine states that is better than it.

  114. 114.

    Da Bomb

    April 15, 2009 at 12:46 pm

    @kormgar: Hey now.. Houston is actually pretty blue and relaxed. We got Bill "Da Man" White as mayor. So I would have to say Houston and Austin. The rest of the state can go to hell in a handbasket for all I care.

  115. 115.

    Cris

    April 15, 2009 at 12:52 pm

    @omen: i didn’t hear these guys screech when bush’s FEMA confiscated guns from law abiding citizens, post katrina.

    They’re screeching about it now. Except in their narrative, Bush’s FEMA has retroactively transformed into blue-helmeted UN troops.

  116. 116.

    Da Bomb

    April 15, 2009 at 12:53 pm

    @Common Sense: I am in complete agreement with you about the decription of the state. I live in the Galleria area, very diverse, not a majority of one ehtnic group at all and very liberal.

    The last 3 to 4 mayors in Houston have been Democrats. But overall Tejas is a very diverse place.

    Perry is a freakin’ choad with no sense of realism or civility. He just plain sucks!

  117. 117.

    Cpl. Cam

    April 15, 2009 at 2:17 pm

    Just so everyone is clear Texas produces a larger proportion of US military personell than any other state besides probably CA (based purely on personal experience). If texas were to secede it would be a messy and terrible affair.

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