My ornery cat is extra ornery too, suddenly thinks she’s an outdoor cat. I think it’s just spring. Fixed or not, they get the yen to explore and establish territory.
2.
cay
Furminate him!
3.
valdivia
The Tunch! Love him, ornery and all (easy for me to say, since unlike John I only see him virtually)
4.
Dennis-SGMM
Has Tunch’s head grown larger?
5.
annie
I just love this cat. Look how he is posing for the camera. He may not blog, but he knows the influence he has over the community. It’s clear that he can spot “bullshit” a mile away. He’s definately challenging the “teabaggers.”
We have two cats, but I still look everyday for his picture….
6.
xyzzy
I don’t care what anyone says, that is one good looking little guy!
If Holder actually moved to bring indictments against any well deserving enablers of torture, how quickly would Republicans be able to completely shut down Congress out of protest? How many knuckle dragging neanderthals could Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and Glenn Beck mobilize to create civil unrest?
It’s the end of the world as we know it and I don’t feel fine.
9.
Jennifer
What Comrade Darkness said.
My little beast brought me her first kill of the year evening before last. A mousie. The rats, chipmunks, and the occasional snake will start showing up later.
John, do you live somewhere you can let him out/is he the sort of cat who should be allowed outdoors?
11.
Corner Stone
Zelikow!
12.
Walker
My ornery cat is extra ornery too, suddenly thinks she’s an outdoor cat. I think it’s just spring. Fixed or not, they get the yen to explore and establish territory.
We just open the (screened in) window for our cats. It is a window that looks out at a bird feeder.
We call it “kitty TV”.
13.
Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse
Hey, is that the first recent picture of John we’ve seen? (Not counting the Hemingway pic, of course). Sure, it’s only a (mauled) finger, but it’s a start.
Tunch looks adorable. My self-imposed catless state is threatened once again.
GOP Conference Chairman Rep. Mike Pence (Ind.) on Tuesday afternoon called the photographs taken of President Obama and Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez shaking hands at the Summit of the Americas “an enormous propaganda victory for the socialist dictator.”
Pence indicated that House Republicans intended to confront Secretary of State Hillary Clinton about Obama and Chavez meeting and mugging for the cameras when she appears before the Foreign Affairs Committee on Wednesday morning.
He said that rank-and-file members have been discussing the “aftermath” of last week’s summit where Obama and Chavez were photographed in “what appeared to be the friendly dialogue.”
Is the GOP actually trying to dither itself into complete irrelevance?
16.
JGabriel
He has really been ornery lately. Not sure what is up.
Maybe he’s pregnant. He looks it.
.
17.
robertdsc
Haha, Baby Tunch! He iz king, then and now!
What are the odds we can get Tunch on video?
18.
JK
Manifesto:
The Mad Farmer Liberation Front
by Wendell Berry
Love the quick profit, the annual raise,
vacation with pay. Want more
of everything ready-made. Be afraid
to know your neighbors and to die.
And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery
any more. Your mind will be punched in a card
and shut away in a little drawer.
When they want you to buy something
they will call you. When they want you
to die for profit they will let you know.
So, friends, every day do something
that won’t compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing.
Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it.
Denounce the government and embrace
the flag. Hope to live in that free
republic for which it stands.
Give your approval to all you cannot
understand. Praise ignorance, for what man
has not encountered he has not destroyed.
Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millenium. Plant sequoias.
Say that your main crop is the forest
that you did not plant,
that you will not live to harvest.
Say that the leaves are harvested
when they have rotted into the mold.
Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.
Put your faith in the two inches of humus
that will build under the trees
every thousand years.
Listen to carrion – put your ear
close, and hear the faint chattering
of the songs that are to come.
Expect the end of the world. Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.
So long as women do not go cheap
for power, please women more than men.
Ask yourself: Will this satisfy
a woman satisfied to bear a child?
Will this disturb the sleep
of a woman near to giving birth?
Go with your love to the fields.
Lie down in the shade. Rest your head
in her lap. Swear allegiance
to what is nighest your thoughts.
As soon as the generals and the politicos
can predict the motions of your mind,
lose it. Leave it as a sign
to mark the false trail, the way
you didn’t go. Be like the fox
who makes more tracks than necessary,
some in the wrong direction.
Practice resurrection.
19.
ellie
Tunch has been busy taking the screws out of all the chairs in the house. He’s very tired.
You all do understand that Tunch isn’t a real cat, right? He’s a poseable cat doll that Cole fucks all of you with.
He overinflates for a while so everyone will say how Tunchy he is, then he puts him on a “diet” and slowly lets out the air bladder.
You poor bastards will believe anything.
I have always called it “Smell-O-Vision(TM),” for both dogs and cats. However, the “Dog-bell(TM)” is a canine-only home-pet appliance.
And Momo has been doing laps up and down the hall.
22.
JK
The Gettysburg Address / Hipster Translation by Lord Buckley
Four big hits and seven licks ago,
our before-daddies swung forth upon this sweet groovey land a jumpin’, wailin’, stompin’, swingin’ new nation, hip to the sweet groove of liberty and solid sent upon the Ace lick dat all cats and kiddies, red, white, or blue, is created level in front.
We are now hung with a king size main-day Civil Drag, soundin’ whether this nation or any up there nation, so hip and so solid sent can stay with it all the way.
We have stomped out here to the hassle site of some of the worst jazz blown in the entire issue. Gettys-mother-burg.
We are here to turn on a small soil stash of the before-mentioned hassle site as a final sweet sod pad for those who laid it down and left it there so that this jumpin’ happy beat might blow forever-more.
And we all dig that this is the straightest lick.
But diggin’ it harder from afar we cannot mellow,
we cannot put down the stamp of the lord on this sweet sod
because the strong non-stop studs, both diggin’ it and dug under it, who hassled here have mellowed it with such a wild mad beat that we can hear it, but we can’t touch it.
Now the world cats will short dig nor long stash in their wigs
what we are beatin’ our chops around here,
but it never can successively shade what they vonced here.
It is for us the swingin’ to pick up the dues of these fine studs who cut out from here and fly it through to Endsville.
It is hipper for us to be signifyin’ to the glorious gig that we can’t miss with all these bulgin’ eyes, that from all these A-stamp studs we double our love kick, too, that righteous ride for which these hard cats sounded the last nth bone of the beat of the bell.
That we here want it struck up straight for all to dig that these departed studs shall not have split in vain, and that this nation under the great swingin’ Lord shall swing up a whopper of endless Mardi Gras, and that the big law by you straights, from you cats, and for you kiddies, shall not be scratched from the big race.
23.
Comrade Kevin
I don’t remember seeing it mentioned before, but you all should go check out Jonathan Turley’s blog sometime. Some of it can be really quite funny at times.
That we here want it struck up straight for all to dig that these departed studs shall not have split in vain, and that this nation under the great swingin’ Lord shall swing up a whopper of endless Mardi Gras, and that the big law by you straights, from you cats, and for you kiddies, shall not be scratched from the big race.
and…pawty awn doodz!
27.
Mr. Stuck
Tunch’s lolling poses seems like he’s angling for a centerfold in Playcat Magazine. That is, if there was a Playcat mag.
28.
Stephen1947
So when is Tunch getting a companion? You said you were visiting shelters the other day. My main worry when I heard that is how much work you will have to put into convincing Tunch that companion aren’t for immediate evisceration.
Whenever we introduce new cats into the household we spend hours rubbing new cats smell on old cat and vice versa – still takes a few days, frequent room separation, and much vigilance before they decide they can be in each other’s presence without throwing huge hissy fits.
I’m trying in vain to find some measure of solace and refuge from the expanding ocean of lies, half-truths, and distortions concocted by mad hatter Republicans and bought hook, line, and sinker by 99% of the MSM.
oh I want to see Hillary smacking them down tomorrow about this.
31.
JK
@passerby: LB was an American original. We’ll never see anyone like him again. I regret that I didn’t have the opportunity to see him perform in public.
32.
oh really
Not sure what is up.
You’re messin’ with his calories, man. Of course he’s ornery. You’re lucky he doesn’t slit your throat while you’re sleeping.
I dig your ornery cat. I have one of my own, and he’s hilarious. Just a complete dick, except that he loves me the most and can’t handle life without me.
Tunch is The Man, and I say that in a good way, and I don’t care if he’s big-boned!
35.
Soylent Green
Smokey the Bear Sutra, by Gary Snyder
A handsome smokey-colored brown bear standing on his hind legs, showing that he is aroused and watchful.
Bearing in his right paw the Shovel that digs to the truth beneath appearances; cuts the roots of useless attachments, and flings damp sand on the fires of greed and war;
His left paw in the mudra of Comradely Display–indicating that all creatures have the full right to live to their limits and that of deer, rabbits, chipmunks, snakes, dandelions, and lizards all grow in the realm of the Dharma;
Wearing the blue work overalls symbolic of slaves and laborers, the countless men oppressed by a civilization that claims to save but often destroys;
Wearing the broad-brimmed hat of the west, symbolic of the forces that guard the wilderness, which is the Natural State of the Dharma and the true path of man on Earth:
all true paths lead through mountains
With a halo of smoke and flame behind, the forest fires of the kali-yuga, fires caused by the stupidity of those who think things can be gained and lost whereas in truth all is contained vast and free in the Blue Sky and Green Earth of One Mind;
Round-bellied to show his kind nature and that the great earth has food enough for everyone who loves her and trusts her;
Trampling underfoot wasteful freeways and needless suburbs, smashing the worms of capitalism and totalitarianism;
Indicating the task: his followers, becoming free of cars, houses, canned foods, universities, and shoes, master the Three Mysteries of their own Body, Speech, and Mind; and fearlessly chop down the rotten trees and prune out the sick limbs of this country America and then burn the leftover trash.
Wrathful but calm. Austere but Comic. Smokey the Bear will Illuminate those who would help him; but for those who would hinder or slander him…
HE WILL PUT THEM OUT
Thus his great Mantra:
Namah samanta vajranam chanda maharoshana Sphataya hum traka ham mam
“I DEDICATE MYSELF TO THE UNIVERSAL DIAMOND BE THIS RAGING FURY BE DESTROYED”
And he will protect those who love the woods and rivers, Gods and animals, hobos and madmen, prisoners and sick people, musicians, playful women,and hopeful children:
And if anyone is threatened by advertising, air pollution, television, or the police, they should chant SMOKEY THE BEAR’S WAR SPELL:
DROWN THEIR BUTTS
CRUSH THEIR BUTTS
DROWN THEIR BUTTS
CRUSH THEIR BUTTS
And SMOKEY THE BEAR will surely appear to put the enemy out with his vajra-shovel.
Now those who recite this Sutra and then try to put it in practice will accumulate merit as countless as the sands of Arizona and Nevada.
Will help save the planet Earth from total oil slick.
Will enter the age of harmony of man and nature.
Will win the tender love and caresses of men, women, and beasts.
Will always have ripened blackberries to eat and a sunny spot under a pine tree to sit at.
AND IN THE END WILL WIN HIGHEST PERFECT ENLIGHTENMENT
Resolution Impeaching Barrack Hussein Obama, President of the United States, for high crimes and misdemeanors.
Resolved, that Barrack Hussein Obama, President of the United States, is impeached for high crimes and misdemeanors, and that the following articles of impeachment be exhibited to the United States Senate:
Articles of impeachment exhibited by the House of Representatives of the United States of America in the name of itself and of the people of the United States of America, against Barrack Hussein Obama, President of the United States of America, in maintenance and support of its impeachment against him for high crimes and misdemeanors.
Article I
In his conduct while President of the United States, Barrack Hussein Obama, in violation of his constitutional oath faithfully to execute the office of President of the United States and, to the best of his ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States, and in violation of his constitutional duty to take care that the laws be faithfully executed, gave HRH Queen Elizabeth II an ipod as a gift.
Article II
In his conduct while President of the United States, Barrack Hussein Obama, in violation of his constitutional oath faithfully to execute the office of President of the United States and, to the best of his ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States, and in violation of his constitutional duty to take care that the laws be faithfully executed, gave British Prime Minister Gordon Brown a bunch of dvds as a gift.
Article III
In his conduct while President of the United States, Barrack Hussein Obama, in violation of his constitutional oath faithfully to execute the office of President of the United States and, to the best of his ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States, and in violation of his constitutional duty to take care that the laws be faithfully executed, exhibited a facial expression widely recognized as a smile upon greeting Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.
Article IV
In his conduct while President of the United States, Barrack Hussein Obama, in violation of his constitutional oath faithfully to execute the office of President of the United States and, to the best of his ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States, and in violation of his constitutional duty to take care that the laws be faithfully executed, bowed down to HRH the King of Saudi Arabia at an angle in excess of 60 degrees.
Article V
In his conduct while President of the United States, Barrack Hussein Obama, in violation of his constitutional oath faithfully to execute the office of President of the United States and, to the best of his ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States, and in violation of his constitutional duty to take care that the laws be faithfully executed, has made unusually excessive and extraordinary use of a teleprompter by any generally agreed upon metric .
In all of this, Barrack Hussein Obama has undermined the integrity of his office, has brought disrepute on the Presidency, has betrayed his trust as President, and has acted in a manner subversive of the rule of law and justice, to the manifest injury of the people of the United States.
Wherefore, Barrack Hussein Obama by such conduct, warrants impeachment and trial, and removal from office and disqualification to hold and enjoy any office of honor, trust or profit under the United States.
39.
Punchy
Now or never, Thorton and Cheechoo. Get a fucking 3-0 1st period lead and just pack the crease for the rest of the game.
By the way, this Danica Patrick commercial promoting her as a badass is comical. She’s like 5’2″ and a buck ‘o five. Yeah, you’re a force to be reckoned with. Sho nuff.
And while it may, as the blog notes, “further intensify tensions between Google and news organizations over the company’s use of news content in Google News,” the larger impact will be to spur news organizations to get more creative with how they organize and present news and information.
And to realize that I can just sit back and dial them up on my PC without having to trudge to a planetarium or to wait for a local TV station to pull up a few pictures in between a car chase and Lindsey Lohan — well — these are days of miracle and wonder.
44.
JK
After Hours / The Velvet Underground
One, two, three
If you close the door
The night could last forever
Leave the sunshine out
And say hello to never
All the people are dancing
And they’re having such fun
I wish it could happen to me
But if you close the door
I’d never have to see the day again
If you close the door
The night could last forever
Leave the wine-glass out
And drink a toast to never
Oh, someday I know
Someone will look into my eyes
And say hello
You’re my very special one
But if you close the door
I’d never have to see the day again
Dark party bars, shiny cadillac cars
And the people on subways and trains
Looking gray in the rain, as they stand disarrayed
Oh, but people look well in the dark
And if you close the door
The night could last forever
Leave the sunshine out
And say hello to never
All the people are dancing
And theyre having such fun
I wish it could happen to me
Cause if you close the door
I’d never have to see the day again
I’d never have to see the day again, once more
I’d never have to see the day again
45.
JK
@Soylent Green: Thanks. I love Gary Snyder. I also love the movie bearing your screen name. It doesn’t get the level of airplay it deserves.
46.
Bhall35
What a handsome kitty.
47.
Katherine Z.
*SQUEEZES YOUR KITTY VIOLENTLY AND MAKES HATS OUT OF HIS FUR*
48.
Comrade Luke
I think that instead of having his own blog, having him be a regular contributor would be hilarious.
John, Tunch is looking positively svelte! I imagine he’s slightly ticked because he’s not getting all the food he wants. Diets make me snarly too. Or have you considered that he just has more energy now that he’s not carrying around all that weight, and it just has to have an outlet?
55.
BDeevDad
I’m not saying there is a a racist subtext to this Obama Stem Cell Headline, but it made me wonder.
The Obama stem-cell darkness
56.
Dave Ruddell
Does Tunch have pale (low contrast) stripes on his body (not ears or tail)? In other pictures he looks to be a solid color, but this one I think I see stripes. Could just be an affect of the camera.
57.
Shell Goddamnit
I am a hardened cat person and I am always surprised by how good-lookin that ol boy Tunch really is.
It’s spring. My fixed boycat, indoor-only his whole life, is IRATE at not being allowed out.
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Comrade Darkness
My ornery cat is extra ornery too, suddenly thinks she’s an outdoor cat. I think it’s just spring. Fixed or not, they get the yen to explore and establish territory.
cay
Furminate him!
valdivia
The Tunch! Love him, ornery and all (easy for me to say, since unlike John I only see him virtually)
Dennis-SGMM
Has Tunch’s head grown larger?
annie
I just love this cat. Look how he is posing for the camera. He may not blog, but he knows the influence he has over the community. It’s clear that he can spot “bullshit” a mile away. He’s definately challenging the “teabaggers.”
We have two cats, but I still look everyday for his picture….
xyzzy
I don’t care what anyone says, that is one good looking little guy!
JenJen
Any pictures of Baby Tunch lying around?
JK
Nice photo.
If Holder actually moved to bring indictments against any well deserving enablers of torture, how quickly would Republicans be able to completely shut down Congress out of protest? How many knuckle dragging neanderthals could Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and Glenn Beck mobilize to create civil unrest?
It’s the end of the world as we know it and I don’t feel fine.
Jennifer
What Comrade Darkness said.
My little beast brought me her first kill of the year evening before last. A mousie. The rats, chipmunks, and the occasional snake will start showing up later.
kommrade reproductive vigor
@Comrade Darkness: Ayup. And eat tiny baby critters.
John, do you live somewhere you can let him out/is he the sort of cat who should be allowed outdoors?
Corner Stone
Zelikow!
Walker
We just open the (screened in) window for our cats. It is a window that looks out at a bird feeder.
We call it “kitty TV”.
Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse
Hey, is that the first recent picture of John we’ve seen? (Not counting the Hemingway pic, of course). Sure, it’s only a (mauled) finger, but it’s a start.
Tunch looks adorable. My self-imposed catless state is threatened once again.
Laura W
@JenJen:
Check out the date.
(H/T to Grand Panjandrum at #22 in this thread. I just have a good memory and it was easy to find on google.)
Dennis-SGMM
They got nothin’, Chapter 2568:
Is the GOP actually trying to dither itself into complete irrelevance?
JGabriel
Maybe he’s pregnant. He looks it.
.
robertdsc
Haha, Baby Tunch! He iz king, then and now!
What are the odds we can get Tunch on video?
JK
Manifesto:
The Mad Farmer Liberation Front
by Wendell Berry
Love the quick profit, the annual raise,
vacation with pay. Want more
of everything ready-made. Be afraid
to know your neighbors and to die.
And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery
any more. Your mind will be punched in a card
and shut away in a little drawer.
When they want you to buy something
they will call you. When they want you
to die for profit they will let you know.
So, friends, every day do something
that won’t compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing.
Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it.
Denounce the government and embrace
the flag. Hope to live in that free
republic for which it stands.
Give your approval to all you cannot
understand. Praise ignorance, for what man
has not encountered he has not destroyed.
Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millenium. Plant sequoias.
Say that your main crop is the forest
that you did not plant,
that you will not live to harvest.
Say that the leaves are harvested
when they have rotted into the mold.
Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.
Put your faith in the two inches of humus
that will build under the trees
every thousand years.
Listen to carrion – put your ear
close, and hear the faint chattering
of the songs that are to come.
Expect the end of the world. Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.
So long as women do not go cheap
for power, please women more than men.
Ask yourself: Will this satisfy
a woman satisfied to bear a child?
Will this disturb the sleep
of a woman near to giving birth?
Go with your love to the fields.
Lie down in the shade. Rest your head
in her lap. Swear allegiance
to what is nighest your thoughts.
As soon as the generals and the politicos
can predict the motions of your mind,
lose it. Leave it as a sign
to mark the false trail, the way
you didn’t go. Be like the fox
who makes more tracks than necessary,
some in the wrong direction.
Practice resurrection.
ellie
Tunch has been busy taking the screws out of all the chairs in the house. He’s very tired.
Corner Stone
@robertdsc:
You all do understand that Tunch isn’t a real cat, right? He’s a poseable cat doll that Cole fucks all of you with.
He overinflates for a while so everyone will say how Tunchy he is, then he puts him on a “diet” and slowly lets out the air bladder.
You poor bastards will believe anything.
AhabTRuler
I have always called it “Smell-O-Vision(TM),” for both dogs and cats. However, the “Dog-bell(TM)” is a canine-only home-pet appliance.
And Momo has been doing laps up and down the hall.
JK
The Gettysburg Address / Hipster Translation by Lord Buckley
Four big hits and seven licks ago,
our before-daddies swung forth upon this sweet groovey land a jumpin’, wailin’, stompin’, swingin’ new nation, hip to the sweet groove of liberty and solid sent upon the Ace lick dat all cats and kiddies, red, white, or blue, is created level in front.
We are now hung with a king size main-day Civil Drag, soundin’ whether this nation or any up there nation, so hip and so solid sent can stay with it all the way.
We have stomped out here to the hassle site of some of the worst jazz blown in the entire issue. Gettys-mother-burg.
We are here to turn on a small soil stash of the before-mentioned hassle site as a final sweet sod pad for those who laid it down and left it there so that this jumpin’ happy beat might blow forever-more.
And we all dig that this is the straightest lick.
But diggin’ it harder from afar we cannot mellow,
we cannot put down the stamp of the lord on this sweet sod
because the strong non-stop studs, both diggin’ it and dug under it, who hassled here have mellowed it with such a wild mad beat that we can hear it, but we can’t touch it.
Now the world cats will short dig nor long stash in their wigs
what we are beatin’ our chops around here,
but it never can successively shade what they vonced here.
It is for us the swingin’ to pick up the dues of these fine studs who cut out from here and fly it through to Endsville.
It is hipper for us to be signifyin’ to the glorious gig that we can’t miss with all these bulgin’ eyes, that from all these A-stamp studs we double our love kick, too, that righteous ride for which these hard cats sounded the last nth bone of the beat of the bell.
That we here want it struck up straight for all to dig that these departed studs shall not have split in vain, and that this nation under the great swingin’ Lord shall swing up a whopper of endless Mardi Gras, and that the big law by you straights, from you cats, and for you kiddies, shall not be scratched from the big race.
Comrade Kevin
I don’t remember seeing it mentioned before, but you all should go check out Jonathan Turley’s blog sometime. Some of it can be really quite funny at times.
schrodinger's cat
Finally a Tunch pic! Thanks John.
passerby
1) Ornery cuz he wants an eclair!
2) He’s cute when he’s ornery.
3) Cook that boy an egg!
4) @JK: I enjoyed that.
passerby
@JK:
and…pawty awn doodz!
Mr. Stuck
Tunch’s lolling poses seems like he’s angling for a centerfold in Playcat Magazine. That is, if there was a Playcat mag.
Stephen1947
So when is Tunch getting a companion? You said you were visiting shelters the other day. My main worry when I heard that is how much work you will have to put into convincing Tunch that companion aren’t for immediate evisceration.
Whenever we introduce new cats into the household we spend hours rubbing new cats smell on old cat and vice versa – still takes a few days, frequent room separation, and much vigilance before they decide they can be in each other’s presence without throwing huge hissy fits.
JK
@passerby: Thanks.
I’m trying in vain to find some measure of solace and refuge from the expanding ocean of lies, half-truths, and distortions concocted by mad hatter Republicans and bought hook, line, and sinker by 99% of the MSM.
valdivia
@Dennis-SGMM:
oh I want to see Hillary smacking them down tomorrow about this.
JK
@passerby: LB was an American original. We’ll never see anyone like him again. I regret that I didn’t have the opportunity to see him perform in public.
oh really
You’re messin’ with his calories, man. Of course he’s ornery. You’re lucky he doesn’t slit your throat while you’re sleeping.
asiangrrlMN
I second oh really. Boy is HUNGRY!
P.S. Tunch is super-cute in this pic.
John O
I dig your ornery cat. I have one of my own, and he’s hilarious. Just a complete dick, except that he loves me the most and can’t handle life without me.
Tunch is The Man, and I say that in a good way, and I don’t care if he’s big-boned!
Soylent Green
Smokey the Bear Sutra, by Gary Snyder
A handsome smokey-colored brown bear standing on his hind legs, showing that he is aroused and watchful.
Bearing in his right paw the Shovel that digs to the truth beneath appearances; cuts the roots of useless attachments, and flings damp sand on the fires of greed and war;
His left paw in the mudra of Comradely Display–indicating that all creatures have the full right to live to their limits and that of deer, rabbits, chipmunks, snakes, dandelions, and lizards all grow in the realm of the Dharma;
Wearing the blue work overalls symbolic of slaves and laborers, the countless men oppressed by a civilization that claims to save but often destroys;
Wearing the broad-brimmed hat of the west, symbolic of the forces that guard the wilderness, which is the Natural State of the Dharma and the true path of man on Earth:
all true paths lead through mountains
With a halo of smoke and flame behind, the forest fires of the kali-yuga, fires caused by the stupidity of those who think things can be gained and lost whereas in truth all is contained vast and free in the Blue Sky and Green Earth of One Mind;
Round-bellied to show his kind nature and that the great earth has food enough for everyone who loves her and trusts her;
Trampling underfoot wasteful freeways and needless suburbs, smashing the worms of capitalism and totalitarianism;
Indicating the task: his followers, becoming free of cars, houses, canned foods, universities, and shoes, master the Three Mysteries of their own Body, Speech, and Mind; and fearlessly chop down the rotten trees and prune out the sick limbs of this country America and then burn the leftover trash.
Wrathful but calm. Austere but Comic. Smokey the Bear will Illuminate those who would help him; but for those who would hinder or slander him…
HE WILL PUT THEM OUT
Thus his great Mantra:
Namah samanta vajranam chanda maharoshana Sphataya hum traka ham mam
“I DEDICATE MYSELF TO THE UNIVERSAL DIAMOND BE THIS RAGING FURY BE DESTROYED”
And he will protect those who love the woods and rivers, Gods and animals, hobos and madmen, prisoners and sick people, musicians, playful women,and hopeful children:
And if anyone is threatened by advertising, air pollution, television, or the police, they should chant SMOKEY THE BEAR’S WAR SPELL:
DROWN THEIR BUTTS
CRUSH THEIR BUTTS
DROWN THEIR BUTTS
CRUSH THEIR BUTTS
And SMOKEY THE BEAR will surely appear to put the enemy out with his vajra-shovel.
Now those who recite this Sutra and then try to put it in practice will accumulate merit as countless as the sands of Arizona and Nevada.
Will help save the planet Earth from total oil slick.
Will enter the age of harmony of man and nature.
Will win the tender love and caresses of men, women, and beasts.
Will always have ripened blackberries to eat and a sunny spot under a pine tree to sit at.
AND IN THE END WILL WIN HIGHEST PERFECT ENLIGHTENMENT
…thus we have heard…
Darkrose
I think Tunch totally needs his own blog.
Zuzu's Petals
@JK:
Agreed.
JK
Resolution Impeaching Barrack Hussein Obama, President of the United States, for high crimes and misdemeanors.
Resolved, that Barrack Hussein Obama, President of the United States, is impeached for high crimes and misdemeanors, and that the following articles of impeachment be exhibited to the United States Senate:
Articles of impeachment exhibited by the House of Representatives of the United States of America in the name of itself and of the people of the United States of America, against Barrack Hussein Obama, President of the United States of America, in maintenance and support of its impeachment against him for high crimes and misdemeanors.
Article I
In his conduct while President of the United States, Barrack Hussein Obama, in violation of his constitutional oath faithfully to execute the office of President of the United States and, to the best of his ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States, and in violation of his constitutional duty to take care that the laws be faithfully executed, gave HRH Queen Elizabeth II an ipod as a gift.
Article II
In his conduct while President of the United States, Barrack Hussein Obama, in violation of his constitutional oath faithfully to execute the office of President of the United States and, to the best of his ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States, and in violation of his constitutional duty to take care that the laws be faithfully executed, gave British Prime Minister Gordon Brown a bunch of dvds as a gift.
Article III
In his conduct while President of the United States, Barrack Hussein Obama, in violation of his constitutional oath faithfully to execute the office of President of the United States and, to the best of his ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States, and in violation of his constitutional duty to take care that the laws be faithfully executed, exhibited a facial expression widely recognized as a smile upon greeting Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.
Article IV
In his conduct while President of the United States, Barrack Hussein Obama, in violation of his constitutional oath faithfully to execute the office of President of the United States and, to the best of his ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States, and in violation of his constitutional duty to take care that the laws be faithfully executed, bowed down to HRH the King of Saudi Arabia at an angle in excess of 60 degrees.
Article V
In his conduct while President of the United States, Barrack Hussein Obama, in violation of his constitutional oath faithfully to execute the office of President of the United States and, to the best of his ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States, and in violation of his constitutional duty to take care that the laws be faithfully executed, has made unusually excessive and extraordinary use of a teleprompter by any generally agreed upon metric .
In all of this, Barrack Hussein Obama has undermined the integrity of his office, has brought disrepute on the Presidency, has betrayed his trust as President, and has acted in a manner subversive of the rule of law and justice, to the manifest injury of the people of the United States.
Wherefore, Barrack Hussein Obama by such conduct, warrants impeachment and trial, and removal from office and disqualification to hold and enjoy any office of honor, trust or profit under the United States.
Punchy
Now or never, Thorton and Cheechoo. Get a fucking 3-0 1st period lead and just pack the crease for the rest of the game.
By the way, this Danica Patrick commercial promoting her as a badass is comical. She’s like 5’2″ and a buck ‘o five. Yeah, you’re a force to be reckoned with. Sho nuff.
Corner Stone
@JK: Seconded.
Mike S
It’s Spring. My cats are a bit nuttso too. And one, I’m not sure which, just murdered a pretty little parakeet the other night in our back yard.
JK
@Zuzu’s Petals: Many, many thanks. Thanks to Youtube and its competitors everything old is new again.
Brachiator
I am having big fun with Google News Timeline (Google News, and More, on a Timeline).
And while it may, as the blog notes, “further intensify tensions between Google and news organizations over the company’s use of news content in Google News,” the larger impact will be to spur news organizations to get more creative with how they organize and present news and information.
Also, the close-up images of Saturn are jaw droppingly beautiful (Cosmic close-up: Sensational images of Saturn show the ringed planet in incredible detail).
And to realize that I can just sit back and dial them up on my PC without having to trudge to a planetarium or to wait for a local TV station to pull up a few pictures in between a car chase and Lindsey Lohan — well — these are days of miracle and wonder.
JK
After Hours / The Velvet Underground
One, two, three
If you close the door
The night could last forever
Leave the sunshine out
And say hello to never
All the people are dancing
And they’re having such fun
I wish it could happen to me
But if you close the door
I’d never have to see the day again
If you close the door
The night could last forever
Leave the wine-glass out
And drink a toast to never
Oh, someday I know
Someone will look into my eyes
And say hello
You’re my very special one
But if you close the door
I’d never have to see the day again
Dark party bars, shiny cadillac cars
And the people on subways and trains
Looking gray in the rain, as they stand disarrayed
Oh, but people look well in the dark
And if you close the door
The night could last forever
Leave the sunshine out
And say hello to never
All the people are dancing
And theyre having such fun
I wish it could happen to me
Cause if you close the door
I’d never have to see the day again
I’d never have to see the day again, once more
I’d never have to see the day again
JK
@Soylent Green: Thanks. I love Gary Snyder. I also love the movie bearing your screen name. It doesn’t get the level of airplay it deserves.
Bhall35
What a handsome kitty.
Katherine Z.
*SQUEEZES YOUR KITTY VIOLENTLY AND MAKES HATS OUT OF HIS FUR*
Comrade Luke
I think that instead of having his own blog, having him be a regular contributor would be hilarious.
J. Michael Neal
@Punchy: I got three scores for you:
4-1
4-0
4-1
I would appreciate it if you would lose, because I really don’t want to face Vancouver.
Nellcote
JK@#22 Thanks for that. It brings back lots of memories.
Genine
Awwww! Another Tunch pic! I love it! I just want to give him nums.
Mary
He’s so adorable. Hope he’s OK.
Corner Stone
@Katherine Z.: Oh God. Cigarette needed.
Beej
John, Tunch is looking positively svelte! I imagine he’s slightly ticked because he’s not getting all the food he wants. Diets make me snarly too. Or have you considered that he just has more energy now that he’s not carrying around all that weight, and it just has to have an outlet?
BDeevDad
I’m not saying there is a a racist subtext to this Obama Stem Cell Headline, but it made me wonder.
Dave Ruddell
Does Tunch have pale (low contrast) stripes on his body (not ears or tail)? In other pictures he looks to be a solid color, but this one I think I see stripes. Could just be an affect of the camera.
Shell Goddamnit
I am a hardened cat person and I am always surprised by how good-lookin that ol boy Tunch really is.
It’s spring. My fixed boycat, indoor-only his whole life, is IRATE at not being allowed out.