Michael Jordan appears to be wearing a suit made out of curtains from a Knight’s Inn motor lodge circa 1975.
OT: This was pretty funny.
Is it just me, or does Bob Baffert look like a villain from Austin Powers? Also, Matt Drudge apparently has a horse in the race.
Gary Stevens looks so tiny sitting next to Tom Hammond that it looks like the Derby is being broadcast by Koko and her kitten.
Just Some Fuckhead
I think you just inspired a Project Runway episode.
South of I-10
My sister in law just called and made me turn on the TV so I could see his suit. Your description is perfect.
Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse
The Derby superdelegates robbed Rachel Alexandra of her chance to compete today. ROAR!
(OK, fine, her owners chose the Oaks. I’d still like to see how she could do against the boys.)
JenJen
@Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse: The Derby is totally anti-climactic without that filly in the race, isn’t it? I put this in the other thread first, but, this is a really interesting piece on why she’s not racing today, and I have to say I think I agree with their decision after reading the real reasons.
And I also can’t blame them for thinking about Eight Belles last year, and for that having some influence on their decision to run her in the Oaks instead.
MikeJ
Don’t even joke. Remember when Clinton said to never count out the filly? They had to put her down an hour later. The filly, not Clinton.
JK
Only song I could think of that refers to the Kentucky Derby.
Dead Flowers – Rolling Stones
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5UKVdhQ8ck
MikeJ
Run for the roses? I hate the song, but it’s the one that springs to mind.
Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse
Eep! I forgot about that. Horse racing can be tragic. And I guess the owners had valid reasons to keep Rachel out.
Meanwhile, the CBC is telling us that an Alberta pig farmer went to Mexico, got swine flu, sneezed on his pigs and now these Canadian pigs have swine flu.
You know how we’re not supposed to cross the streams? That crossing the streams is very, very bad? I don’t think we’re supposed to play hot potato with hybrid flu viruses either.
asiangrrlMN
Sorry to hear about Sid, John. My condolences to your sister. Other than that, I got nothing.
MikeJ
I got the horse right here, the name is Paul Revere, and here’s guy that says that if the weather’s clear can do, can do. This guy sez the horse can do. If he sez the horse can do, can do.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxAX74gM8DY
JenJen
Ya know, I’ve been to a few Derbys, and looking at these overhead shots on TV of the infield, and considering it’s 5:10 already, it sure seems sparse.
Derby is big around where I live, and some friends and I were commenting last night that nobody was talking about it, nobody was throwing any parties, nobody we knew was going. It feels weird this year.
Also, it seems that Bob Costas will never age. I’m wondering if he’s the Highlander.
Corner Stone
Jordan looked high on the chronic. He sounded like a debased fucking street hustler.
It’s awe inspiring to see how far and fast the world’s most recognizable athlete ™ fell.
Are you kidding me? “Sometimes I’m good and sometimes I’m bad.”, and “I can’t tell the difference so I’m betting on colors, numbers and other schemes.”
Jeebus man. I’m pretty sure we’re going to be hearing J.R. Richard stories about Jordan in a few years.
Freaking sad.
Mwangangi
@JK: You’re a better person than I am; I still can’t think or a horse race song.
I’d say Code of the Streets, but that’s more of a traveling song.
asiangrrlMN
Just use Bruce Springsteen’s Born to Run and be done with it. Close enough.
Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse
Stewball, British Invasion style.
Stewball, Leadbelly style.
South of I-10
@MikeJ: When I saw Paul Revere, all I could think of was this. Just me, my horsey and a quart of beer.
MikeJ
You went to Saratoga and your horse naturally won. – Caly Simon, You’re so Vain
He’d come in third in a two-horse race
I’ve never had to slap his face
— Nancy Sinatra, Last of the Secret Agents
Never been a millionaire
and I tell you mama I don’t care
Never gonna own a race-horse
or a fast back mid-engine Porsche
— Rod Stewart, True Blue.
That’s about it off the top of my head. I’m sure there’s a ho-jillion more
Corner Stone
@South of I-10: Wuh wuh, wuhwuh. wuh wuh, wuhwuh uh weeeerr.
Brachiator
I Want Revenge was scratched after a filling was discovered in an ankle. This is going to upset one of the producers on a local radio show here in California. She wanted to bet on the horse only because she thought that jockey Joe Talamo is pretty.
As a related aside, Business Week notes the following:
JenJen
In other sporting news, Major League Baseball needs to suspend all Seventh Inning Stretches at Wrigley Field until the All-Star Break, at minimum. Somebody has got to pay for this.
D-Chance.
A tornado just struck the Dallas Cowboys training camp. Four injuries, so far.
SGEW
Cor, that one’s easy:
The Pogues, Bottle of Smoke.
Lyrics here.
[Shane MacGowan can supply all of your gambling and drinking song needs]
Andy K
With I Want Revenge out, and the sloppy track, I don’t know who to like.
I’ll go with sentiment: Put me down for $5 on Nowhere to Hide for the win. I’ve always had a soft spot for Zito-trained horses since I made a nifty little profit on Strike For Gold way back when.
Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse
@Brachiator: Now if we could only train wee gymnasts and figure skaters (minus the blades) to ride horses, the sport would have a massive female base.
Gordon, The Big Express Engine
Now the ads here are mix of suggestive women, cat grooming tools and gross hunks of meat. Warrants mentioning…
Jody
Thank you, SGEW.I was afraid I was going to have to do all the heavy lifting around here.
Of course, if you wanted real equine talent, it’s tough to beat the Media Horse. I still miss that one.
SGEW
Oh yeah, totally forgot these for th’ endless “perfect albums” list:
The Pogues – If I Should Fall From Grace With God or Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash. Man, those are good albums.
calipygian
Steve Benen’s candidate for Most Delusional Blog Post Ever:
Benen doesn’t hang out at Red State much, does he? Hawkins is pretty fucking nutty – FCC complaints for using the term “teabagging” and all, but Erick Erickson should be ordered by the courts to use the dull scissors for the rest of his life.
South of I-10
@Corner Stone: Work with me, I’m having a rough weekend.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Gordon, The Big Express Engine:
Prolly targeted at me.
Just Some Fuckhead
@D-Chance.:
Sounds like God isn’t very happy with His team.
CMcD
He looks like someone who wants to fuck your wife, and/or sell her a BMW.
Nicole
Goddamnit; you would have to put up a Derby thread after I’ve already had two whiskey smashes (thank you Rachel Maddow show) and am too drunk to post. Son of a bitch.
I still wish Rachel Alexandra was running today. I think her owner is a sexist who voted for McCain. Burp.
Nicole
That was just general “son of a bitching” not saying Cole is one. Because he’s not and was very nice to put up a Derby post.
lilysmom
@Nicole:
So how is the whiskey smash?
Nicole
@JenJen: By the way, before I get really drunk- I still don’t agree with his reasons at all. The fact that breeding rules the game is hurting horse racing enough without claiming that the Triple Crown races are just a showcase for future stud fees. Glad no one told Winning Colors or Funny Cide.
I do understand the wanting to avoid a 20-horse field but she’s so fast I think they never would have caught her.
With my luck, one colt will win the Derby and Preakness and then they’ll run Rachel Alexandra in the Belmont and I’ll have a total Sophie’s Choice for myself. Because Rags to Riches Belmont was totally awesome. Watching her and Curlin fight their way down the stretch was so awesome it makes me cry right now. Stupid whiskey smashes.
Brachiator
@Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse:
Or find a way to get horses onto ice skating rinks.
JenJen
Lamest crowd rendition of “My Old Kentucky Home” ever. Something about this Derby really feels off to me.
Edit: Oh, yay! Ohio Boy-Bander Nick Lachey turns in spirited pantomime to “My Old Kentucky Home”!
John Cole
I’m going with Summer Bird. I like the name.
harlana pepper
for the ladiehs:
my internets date (first one since match, few years ago) last night was great! i want him to adopt me. (he’s not rich, but oh so sweet/charming & smart)
2th&nayle
@JK: “Tennessee Stud” by Jimmy Driftwood.
The Tennessee Stud was long and lean
Color of the sun and his eyes were green
He had the nerve and he had the blood
And there never was a horse like the Tennessee Stud…
That’s all the lyric I can remember off the top of my head, but there there’s a part of the song that talks about the singer racing the horse down in Mexico for a ‘skin full of silver and gold”. Great song.
harlana pepper
Afterwards, I stopped by my friend’s house and partied with his group till about 4:00 am — can’t remember last time I did *that* but it’s been a very loooong time. I think the interwebs dating thing is cranking up my energy level (it takes work, geez) – gotta watch the beer, tho and the inevitable spare tire.
South of I-10
Little South is going with Chocolate Candy, for obvious reasons. I am going with Fresian Fire.
JL
@D-Chance.: It’s always sad when there are injuries due to storm damage. Any chance that Jerry Jones was there?
CMcD
I wish they had some celebrity jockeys: Ben Stiller, Matthew Broderick, etc.
I’m going with Pioneerof the Nile, for bending the name length rules.
JenJen
@South of I-10: I like Dunkirk for the win. Good luck, especially to all Juicers with money on this thing. :-)
Edit: And it’s Mine That Bird, at 50:1!! Good thing I didn’t have money on the Derby, huh? Sure wish I had some on that horse!
anonevent
@Just Some Fuckhead: It was a practice facility that was a canvas structure built over a football field. There was a rookie practice session going on when it collapsed. Reports indicate that it was high winds and a lot of rain, not a tornado. There is some great footage from inside the facility, especially the parts where the rookies go back in after right after they had just escaped to see if they can find anyone who might have trapped. I have a soft spot for film of people trying to help others.
Andy K
HOLY CRAP! What just happened?!?!
South of I-10
That was amazing!
Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse
That was a $9500 horse. Holeeey shit.
What a hell of a year for that jockey: Derby last year, Oaks and Derby this year. He was crying as he dedicated the race to his parents. I got teary, too.
D-Chance.
Calvin Borel does it again.
And it was classic Borel. The guy is from Louisiana Downs, a track that was famous for its speed/rail bias. His riding style developed into one where he would come back to the stables with white paint on the outside of his left boot from scraping the inside rails during his races. Today, perfect setup: a strong rail bias, a clear opening down the stretch, and Borel shot the gap to the inside.
Brick Oven Bill
The modern political class makes me scratch my head. What is a Derby Open Thread? What is Universal Volunteerism?
This is a point that Glenn Beck drives home. The whole Democrat-Republican model is false, as they offer essentially the same governing philosophy, that being significant degrees of control, very similar to ‘Derby Open Thread’, the way I perceive it. You will live in a global community run by the Fed and you will like it.
The country’s original debates were based about degrees of government control, for example, you could in this allegory vote for either:
a) Open Thread: Talk about whatever you want; or
b) Speak Only of Aspects of the Horse Race.
So as a practical protocol question, I just saw a Toyota Prius that drove into a pine tree, with the cluebag driver standing beside his shattered car scratching his head, and a female cop writing him up. Is it inappropriate to talk of the strange pleasure that this provided me in a Derby Open Thread?
kommrade reproductive vigor
Is it safe to look yet? Are all the horses all right?
Common Sense
@D-Chance.:
Yeah the tornado struck near their practice bubble.
A question: Who the hell didn’t think to evacuate a building supported by air pressure during a tornado warning?
Someone deserves to lose their job over this.
harlana pepper
We discussed politics and history and I shared my campaigning for Dean stories. He says, (paraphrasing)”y’know, I just didn’t know what to make of Dean at the time, but you sure were right, absolutely right about him. Props to you.”
Prolly the nicest thing any man has said to me in forever.
Not that I regret he didn’t win (after getting over the initial heartbreak–one reason I wanted to slap the bejeebus out of PUMA’s, the big babies). In the end, his campaign served a larger purpose and paved the way for Obama and other candidates to raise money over the internet and with Trippi’s help, basically laid the groundwork for powerful netroots movements, for which we should all be grateful. Now we have Obama in the WH, and that’s what counts. Evahthing happens for a reason,
But it was just nice to feel validated. :)
(Moral of the story: validate me and I’m yours!!!!) JK ;)
South of I-10
@D-Chance: He’s from St. Martinville. He used to race at Evangeline Downs, I think he started there? Mr South were just kinda wishing we had gone to Evangeline Downs, I bet they went crazy!
SnarkIntern
Why? Would that stop you?
harlana pepper
I’m obviously missing some major Derby excitement, carry on. :)
Only somebody like me would be doofus enough to talk girl stuff on a sports thread. ;^D
Love you guys, tewtally. swak.
srv
If they can Pimp My Lawn, I wonder if that Derby lawn is real.
Brick Oven Bill
It would SnarkIntern. This is a private forum, and commenting is a privilege. Some subjects I lay off of. But I would love to tell you of the tingling feeling creeping up my leg.
South of I-10
@HarlanaPepper: Sounds like a great date! Did you make plans to see each other again?
SnarkIntern
I’ll bet you would. But I am still not sending you my picture.
Nicole
That was awesome!
Nicole
@lilysmom: The whiskey smash is great. Best to let it sit for ten minutes- it gets better the longer it sits. Or I get drunker. I’m not sure. I’ll let you know after I finish my third one.
Brick Oven Bill
I believe that that conversation went more along the lines of me offering you the picture SnarkIntern, for inspirational purposes. You were having problems, something about filling out a government form.
mt
I just got my ass kicked by a cat. Anyone have any tips for how to get that outdoor cat that adopted you to the vet for shots w/out a trip to the emergency room?
Jen R
I’m with Nicole, the breeding industry has completely fucked up this sport.
Also, yeah, there was just no interest in Forty Niner as a stallion prospect after Winning Colors beat him in ’88. What a maroon.
asiangrrlMN
@harlana pepper: Sounds like you had a good time, harlana pepper. If you read the end of the open thread last night (not the endless musical one–the nearly endless one before it–your name was taken in vain.
Are you going to see him again?
Oh, and, who won the Derby?
SnarkIntern
@Brick Oven Bill:
You are one crazy fuck, Bill.
2th&nayle
@Brick Oven Bill: Bill, that tingly feeling on your leg might be a tick. I read somewhere that ticks are attracted to methane. Figures.
Brick Oven Bill
Two hands on the keyboard SnarkIntern.
Comrade Darkness
@mt: Live trap.
Mind that Bird was still speeding up as he crossed the finish line. That was a great race. All that money some of those people have spent and it’s fundamentals and smarts that takes the day. Love it.
D-Chance.
Dallas is about to get a second wave.
The front and low pressure cell is set just right so that everything is forming right on top of them.
mt
@Comrade Darkness:
Sounds serious. He’s otherwise mellow on the porch apart from killing birds and rodents. I got the cat into the car. He busted out of the box on the way. Lady and Man at inoculation center said no problem we can handle it. Shortly after, they said “that’s one pissed off cat” and “it’s possessed” come back later. I’m bleeding, No good deed goes unpunished. I’m thinking righteous catnip next time.
Just Some Fuckhead
BOB, earlier you spoke about having a purpose. Care to share it? You can email me if yer shy: [email protected].
SnarkIntern
@Brick Oven Bill:
Bite me, dipshit.
Nicole
Oh, what a race. Much as I hate breeding controlling the sport, I have to say that Birdstone is turning out to be quite the sire. Kentucky Derby winner from his very first crop. That’s a big deal.
Birdstone won the Belmont, so if Mine That Bird can handle the Preakness we might be looking at a genuine chance for a Triple Crown.
I love the little guys doing well. Small time owner and trainer from a small racing state and a small horse. What’s not to love?
And Mine That Bird is a gelding, so he’ll run for years. In your face, Rachel Alexandra’s owner! (But not too much, as I still love your filly.)
smiley
@2th&nayle: Jimmy might have written it but Doc made it what it is. (From an album mentioned at least once last night.)
Laura W Intriguing
@Brick Oven Bill: Bill, I think you should read the post at #68 and go to the thread she is mentioning. I’ve not been back since late last night/early this morning, and only as a voyeur by that time, (because I am very discreet and intriguing by nature, thus my “sign”) but I suspect if you post your thigh tingling story there, that thread will just…um…reinvigorate all over again.
I know TattooSydney is awake and online, and I know you two have something very, very special.
Bad Horse's Filly
@mt: Invest in a solid cat carrier ($20). After you get the cat inside, wrap the carrier in a blanket, to keep it dark inside. Throw some catnip in if you want, but I’d use green (not dried) because it tends to mellow them, while dried can have varied affects, including making them a bit whacko.
That should keep the cat calmer and maybe get through the vet visit before it totally stresses out again.
I had a hell cat once. Made me bleed from house to vet, but then hid under my arm the entire visit. You’d think she actually liked me.
Just Some Fuckhead
John, I was feeling poetic so I wrote an obit for yer sister’s cat:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Cats have nine lives
But my sister’s only had two.
Edit: I’m here for ya if you need to hug it all out.
Common Sense
Video of the Cowboy’s practice bubble collapsing — from inside the bubble
mt
@Bad Horse’s Filly:
Thanks. That will be my plan for Round 2 of Dances with Angry Cat.
MikeJ
How long until Gov. Goodhair asks for some of that sweet, sweet, federal cash while threatening secession?
Just Some Fuckhead
Me too. Finally hadda put her down. She kept getting meaner and meaner All white, grey stripe on her head. Mean as a snake. She would attack my houseguests. My mom stopped visiting. (Which was the only good part.)
Laura W Intriguing
@Bad Horse’s Filly: ‘Roo Chat!
So how ya’ doin’ with the Jumps? In a nutshell, (or Kanga pouch), I’ve decided every other day (or so) for 20 min, running in place to the iPod shuffle, is gonna be my MO. I will not ever be able to dance on them, or walk on them, or even turn around on them. I do not trust the suckers.
However, what I do on them is probably equivalent to a 20-min lower body strength training/resistance workout, I figure, so that’s what I’m calling it.
I found a great song to jump to and have been waiting for you to come around to share it with you:
(BTW: Jackson Browne, Late for the Sky. Please add to my top 10, now 12, favorite albums of all time from last night.)
Pretty little girl running up and down the street with those jumps on,
I’ve got a pretty little pair of my own at home.
I’m puttin’ down my left foot,
I’m puttin’ down my right foot.
JenJen
@Nicole: I think the 20-horse-field was the most compelling argument. They keep saying she won’t be in the Belmont, but I have this feeling they’ll change their mind!
smiley
@Just Some Fuckhead:
That’s not all white. You’re not the only fuckhead around here, FWI.
Just Some Fuckhead
@smiley: You wanna sober up and try that again, chief?
smiley
@Just Some Fuckhead: OK
.
Just Some Fuckhead
@smiley: No idea what yer point is dawg. But yer a professor, we all got that.
SnarkIntern
@smiley:
Now this is what I love. Precise insults with careful attention to detail.
Good work, both of you assholes.
Andy K
@Nicole:
Yeah, great story, and I do like the bloodlines for the Belmont. Must say that Mine That Bird does seem a bit on the small side…
Interesting how NBC wasn’t able to show a wire-to-wire replay. Can’t blame ’em, though- how can you keep a camera trained on the field when it’s 20+ lengths between the leader and the horse bringing up the rear? (and I’m flashing back to Secretariat’s win at the ’73 Belmont, when it seems like minutes went by between the time the big guy hit the wire and the rest of the field appeared on camera)
BTW: The perfecta paid $2,074.80, the trifecta $41,5000.60 and the superfecta $557, 006.40. Mine That Bird wasn’t the only longshot to finish near the front- Musket Man (show) and Papa Clem (finished 4th) played their parts in making this a very profitable day for someone.
smiley
@Just Some Fuckhead: Forget about it. Just stupid anonymous snark about an all-white cat with a non-white stripe on its head.
Jen R
@Andy K: OTOH, Birdstone was pretty small too.
Fencedude
You could argue that grey is simply “dark white”
Nicole
@JenJen: They’ve already said they’re going to run Rachel Alexandra on Belmont Day… in the Acorn. One mile. For fillies. Of course.
On the bright side, Calvin “Bo-rail” won’t have to make a choice.
Andy- yeah, he is a wee horse, just like his daddy. Well, so was Smarty Jones and so was Afleet Alex and they did okay.
I think the Preakness will be the harder race for him. Little horses often do very well in the Belmont.
Seriously, everyone, these whiskey smashes are awesome. Highly recommend.
Just Some Fuckhead
@smiley:Commenting is generally informal and abbreviated communication. I thought most people would read it as “All white cat except for a grey stripe on her head.” I guess I shoulda thought about autistic folks and professors before I so cavalierly tried to deceive everyone about an all white cat that wasn’t all white. Christ.
Mike in NC
What is the Meaning of Life?
What is this cluebag expression? Was it a spinoff from the recent teabag revolution? Didn’t get the memo from Beck.
Laura W Intriguing
@Fencedude:
Wow. If this site ever needed a sex perv thread to spice things up, it would be NOW.
smiley
@Just Some Fuckhead:
Indeed.
Added: Sheesh.
Brick Oven Bill
Laura W; I have returned and reviewed you comment, as well as the conversation to which you referred. For me to re-engage there would be to take part in an activity that some call ‘sloppy seconds’. This is a practice which I have avoided to date. Although I do have another good story about lesbians, or in this case bisexual females. So perhaps I can assist in your #100 wish.
There was this girlfriend, who I had ‘known’ for probably two weeks and who was paranoid about something to do with the federal government. Anyway, this girlfriend asked if she could bring another girlfriend to a future encounter, and I said, ‘sure’. So the act is over, and she looks at me sideways, and asks me again if I am with the federal government, to which I smile and respond:
‘Not as far as you know.’
Then she pulls a 38-caliber weapon out of her purse and points it at me. I left and that was the end of this particular relationship. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut.
Comrade Desert Hussein Rat
@MikeJ:
Kind of a tragically apt metaphor for Hillary’s campaign, with the superdelegates playing the role of the veterinarian, as it turned out.
Tattoosydney
@Laura W Intriguing:
Urp. I just threw up in my mouth a little.
BOB and I don’t share anything (well, except I facilitate his vaguely sexual fascination with Murray from the Wiggles).
2th&nayle
@smiley: I’ll assume you refer to the one and only Doc Watson, but I think the cover by the one and only Johnny Cash, is the one I’m most familiar with. Bless ’em both, wherever they are! I’ll have to check last night’s thread, sounds like I missed a good one. Oh wait minute, are you talking about “Will the Circle Be Unbroken”? I think Doc’s version is on that! Wonderful Album!
Ked
…cluebag. Huh. Someone… with a clue? Perhaps conveniently contained in a bag for later steeping? I’ll have to remember that
insultcompliment for future deployment.Just Some Fuckhead
I think BOB likes ya cuz yer not undermining America from within like the rest of us.
Tattoosydney
@Brick Oven Bill:
URP. Oh God, there I go again… Urgh.
smiley
@2th&nayle:
Yep, that’s the one.
Tattoosydney
@Just Some Fuckhead:
Just from without – Me and Raul Castro and that Canadian guy who infected his own pigs.
Andy K
@Nicole:
Smarty Jones was doomed in the Belmont. Sprinting bloodline, ya know.
My rule for betting that race is to put money on the Irish horse that’s been brought in on a month or two rest. They’re bred for distance.
Good luck with that hangover tomorrow. ;D
SnarkIntern
Every cocksucker eventually comes around to that realization, Bob. Congrats.
Litlebritdifrnt
@mt:
Tranquilizer darts? Tuna soaked in sleeping pills? Other than that I got nutthin. The very idea of getting my stray back into the cat carrier (after I fooled her once and got her fixed and all her first shots) fills me with a dread that keeps me awake at night.
Just Some Fuckhead
@smiley:
I think I finally caught up with ya. And, no, you aren’t a fuckhead.
Andy K
@Brick Oven Bill:
Dear Penthouse Forum,
I’d like to share with you an experience I once had while I was a student at a large midwestern university……
Brick Oven Bill
You are snarky.
MrPook
I am generally a lurker here, but I feel compelled to point something out in this open thread.
Teh Great Gizoogle runs some sort of omniscient algorithm to figure out what sort of ads to place on each site.
On BJ, Ze Google’s infinite wisdom has selected a cute little blond girl posing suggestively for her webcam on a dating site.
The ad running for awhile beneath that is for stripper desktop icons. It has been running long enough that it is clearly worth their while to continue running the ad here.
In short: Fucking perverts.
SnarkIntern
@Andy K:
LOL.
Nicole
Best thread ever. Thanks, John!
@Andy K:
Actually, Smarty ran a terrific race in the Belmont. He was beaten barely a length (by Birdstone, natch) after running a very fast pace- he ran the middle section faster than Secretariat ran in his Belmont. I think what beat Smarty was that he was unnerved by the crowd (and yeah, we were pretty loud… I’m sorry, Smarty!) and that Stewart Elliott didn’t have a good enough sense of pace to know how fast he was going in the middle part of the race. Or maybe he did and just couldn’t settle Smarty’s nerves. Either way, the pace cooked him, as it did every other horse in the race except Birdstone, who lagged behind and then made his bid at the very end when Smarty was too tired to put up a fight.
I really like Birdstone and he’s likely to prove to be a better sire than Smarty. But Smarty Jones was the better racehorse. He was really, really good. And no sprinter. He got cooked by an impossible pace in the Belmont and still was beaten only a length. That’s heart and grit and a lot of talent.
smiley
@Andy K: One of the ways you can tell that BOB is full of shit is from the details.
I’m sure he got out his calipers and determined it was a .38 and not a .32. OTHO, maybe she said, “Freeze Brick Oven Bill, or I’m going to drill you with my 38-caliber weapon.” You never know.
John Cole
I’m watching Southland, because I missed it Thursday and forgot to DVR, and I just realized that the black detective is Rod Tidwell’s wife from Jerry Maguire. She has aged amazingly.
Litlebritdifrnt
Full disclosure I am + 3 glasses of wine right now. However, watching Torchwood, I so cannot wait for the new series, the old series is just so damn good.
2th&nayle
@MrPook: And your point is what, exactly?
Litlebritdifrnt
PS) I am imagining that if I click on that “meet your meat” ad I am going to be a vegetarian again by tomorrow morning no?
MrPook
@2th&nayle: I have always suspected that as one of the reasons I like it so much here. I now have empirical proof.
Litlebritdifrnt
And I am just about to crack open a bottle of pomegranate wine which I have found to be exeptional. It goes down like velvet and warms your entire throat like a fine port. Anything I post after this point has to be discounted by that fact cause I am probably going to be smashed!
Just Some Fuckhead
@MrPook: Dude, if it makes you feel more at home, I fucking love Sasha Grey ATM porn.
Jen R
@Nicole: I always felt that Stewart Elliot was in a no-win situation in the Belmont. Either let Smarty go as fast as he wanted early, or risk wearing him out by fighting him. I couldn’t really blame him for the choice he made; just the year before, after all, Jose Santos fought Funny Cide early and he faded in the stretch.
Laura W Intriguing
@Litlebritdifrnt: Full disclosure: I am +Who’s Counting? Beringer Pinot Grigio and I played my first game of Pogo Scrabble tonight! It took forever to get in, and I mean for ever (pop ups, browsers, etc etc) but once I got in, I only crashed twice, taking me another 20 min. to figure how to get back in.
And I was only losing by 150 points when we called the game from sheer boredom. (And mutual tipsiness.) I would’ve totally taken the game had we played till the end. Those remaining 16 tiles would’ve changed my destiny.
Andy K
@Brick Oven Bill:
And I was holding back. It originally read:
Dear Penthouse Forum,
I had just gotten home from my six month tour of Delta Force work in the mountains of Afghanistan, enjoying some much needed R&R in the basement of my mom’s condo, when I heard a knock on the slider. I quickly dimmed the lamp, pulled up my sweatpants, tucked my Glock in the waistband and washed down my Cheetos with a quick slug of Mountain Dew, and headed stealthily to the door.
Peeking through the curtain, I was relieved to see my old girlfriend, Kate Beckinsale. Then I noticed someone in the shadows behind her. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness I reached back for the Glock. “Let us in, ” whispered Kate. “I’m here with my lesbian lover, Portia de Rossi, and she needs a man badly.”
2th&nayle
@smiley: Frankly, I’m a little surprised BOB didn’t didn’t go for the ole, “She had a pair of .38s! She also had a GUN!” Drum roll! Rimshot! Cymbal crash! “G’night folks! ‘I am outta here!” But I guess not.
Litlebritdifrnt
@Andy K:
That was sheer genius.
South of I-10
Glad to see the other chicks are boozing it up. I am stressed and tired and I fully intend to finish this delicious Chardonnay a friend brought me. Watching Austin City Limits on the DVR, The Raconteurs and Cat Power.
South of I-10
@Andy K: Genius!! Now that is entertaining.
Litlebritdifrnt
@Laura W Intriguing:
I went on my trifeca shopping run on the way back from Columbus County today (Strawberry Festival weekend) so I went to Lowes Foods (Kerrygold butter, Kerrygold cheese, some other sundries), Fresh Market (Heinz Baked Beans, Prime Angus filet for DH, pomegranate wine, etc.) then World Market (lots and lots of sweeties Rountrees Fruit Gums, Bounty Bars, Turkish Delight, PG Tips tea, Flake Bars,) side visit to Pender Pines Nursery (Lettuce Plants, lobelia six pack and some Mexican petunia) then a final stop to Lowes to see what what was in their dead plant section (two yarrow plants and some English lavender),
Brick Oven Bill
I do believe that I am being made sport of.
It was not nearly as exciting as Andy makes it out to be. She drank Natural Light, had her own modest place, and called radio station DJs in the morning. These are the fringe benefits one gets as the Chinese lounge act in a small town. Never underestimate the power of music to affect the female mind.
I have always wondered what the friend looked like. These are things that men think about years later. I did attend a large Midwestern university however.
Laura W Intriguing
@Litlebritdifrnt: I drove 5 miles to SavMor for cat food, litter, a bag of salad, toilet paper, paper towels, kleenex, soy milk, avocados, tomatoes, trash bags, bottled water, wine, Perrier, and tuna for the cats. I was EXHAUSTED.
I wish I had 1/4 of your energy.
Corner Stone
@Nicole:
No such thing. I’m living proof.
All too true. All too true.
smiley
@Andy K:
Literature, I tell you, literature all are children will read.
Tattoosydney
@Litlebritdifrnt:
So many good episodes…. I can’t wait for the five episode story arc. Eeeeee!
Tattoosydney
@Brick Oven Bill:
When I read your story the first time, I assumed that the “so the act is over…” referred to the later time when she brought her friend over….
Now I work out you never even got to SEE the friend?
Gee, BOB, what kind of masturbatory fantasy is that?
Zuzu's Petals
@John Cole:
Only slightly relevant …
“The Sopranos” had some overlap for a time with another HBO show, “Oz.”
I can’t tell you how long it was before I realized that the actress playing Carmella Soprano was the same one playing the prison guard in “Oz.”
Of course that just speaks for the amazing acting talent of Edie Falco.
Laura W Intriguing
@Brick Oven Bill:
I have a story to share here, Bill. I nearly posted it the other day when John was talking about being a DJ, but I bored myself silly in the composing, so I deleted it. But now that you’ve brought it up again, it is a very important piece of my past, and one of my happiest memories in life.
When I lived in Fresno, CA, circa 1988ish, I dated a DJ for a few weeks. One night, a Saturday night, as I recall, he had the evening shift and was all alone in the studio. I took a picnic dinner in for us full of all manner of stinky cheeses, meats, and of course, lots of good wine. He allowed me to select each and every song that was played, on the spot, spontaneously. IIRC, Stevie Nicks got in there a lot, and probably The Zombies “Time of the Season” (sort of “our song”) and whatever else I was into at the time.
He got in a lot of trouble with the studio brass for deviating from the play list that night, but it was one of the funnest nights of my life, and here I am, 20 years later, still remembering it and wishing I could do it all over. You never know when you’re making a memory…
Brick Oven Bill
The key phrase was ‘future encounter’ TattooSydney. She made her request in the throes of passion, and I got the gun pulled on me in the morning, yielding a future lifetime of wonder, for me at least.
Tattoosydney
@Brick Oven Bill:
I hope that’s not a euphemism.
Mike in NC
Yes, brilliant!
smiley
@Laura W Intriguing:
I’m not BOB, but ain’t that the truth. It reminds me of a time when I met a blind Serbian girl who could tell the future. She said I would waste a bunch of time “out there”. At the time I thought she meant usenet. Turns out she meant Balloon Juice. How was I to know? Scary. Now, that’s a memory.
2th&nayle
@Tattoosydney: I can’t compete here!! LOL! Way outta my league! You da man, Tatt! You da man! I do love this site! Comedy Gold!
asiangrrlMN
@Tattoosydney: Yo! You. I got a beef with you. I think Laura W. was saying you and I had something very very special going on because I was looking for you in the other thread. I want a pretend-separation! That video you made me watch last night, Depeche Mode’s Wrong, gave me nightmares as I said it would!
I demand chocolate and the job of SCOTUS from you to make up for it!
P.S. I will accept another kick-ass song in lieu of the aforementioned bribery.
Krista
Can we call dibs on who we live with? I pick Mom.
asiangrrlMN
@Krista: Yes. If you live with me, then you can pretty much do whatever you want–AND (if you don’t live in Australia) you wouldn’t have to leave the country. Plus, you’ll have chocolate every day.
rikyrah
BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA
OMG…I love the description of Michael Jordan’s suit.
He has too much money to be clowning like that.
Tattoosydney
@2th&nayle:
*blush*
Tattoosydney
@asiangrrlMN:
Which thread are we going to continue this party in?
It’s disturbing isn’t it?
P.S. I will accept another kick-ass song in lieu of the aforementioned bribery.
Let me see what I can come up with…
Tattoosydney
@Krista:
Yeah, but with Dad you can sneak looks at his porn when he’s at work.
Nicole
@Jen R: You may well be right; I think the question people asked after is if a different jockey could have done a better job settling Smarty- Stewart Elliott hasn’t had a stellar post-Derby career, which I think leads to questions of how skilled a jockey he is when not on a really good horse. I don’t know; I like when older jockeys finally get their big horse so I liked him at the time and am still happy when he wins.
I don’t think there was any way Funny Cide was beating Empire Maker that day. Were it not for the bruised foot, Empire Maker would have beaten Funny Cide in the Derby. (I’m glad he didn’t; we wouldn’t have had the guys from Sackatoga and the yellow school bus.) Mind you, I’m too much of a sentimental sap to take advantage of a sure thing at 3-1; I bought my $2 saver for Funny Cide, hoping he’d pull it off.
Have you seen the Bloodhorse videos on past Derby winners? The Funny Cide one is fun, but the one of Giacomo features a lot of gorgeous footage of him running around his paddock. He’s a very pretty horse.
Andy K
I just realized who Calvin Borel reminds me of:
Ernest T. Bass!
Will
My sister lives in Louisville. She asked me if I wanted her to place a bet. I said, ok, how about a single minimum bet on the longest shot horse in the race.
That’s $103, baby!