I just got back from being an extra for a photoshoot for some local candidates. They started with the classic coffee table shots, then moved onto to the kitchen. From a distance, the countertops look like they might be granite. I went over to feel them and it turned out they were regular countertops made to look like granite. People looked at me a bit quizzically but I didn’t feel like explaining.
Later I realized that it didn’t matter whether or not they *were* granite, it just mattered whether or not they looked like granite, since this was a photoshoot.
Maybe I should have said something. It’s probably not too late to photoshop them out.
Fencedude
You know, I never did find the origination of the whole countertops issue, do you have a link to where she did this?
MTiffany
LOL. Delicious.
MikeJ
Fencedude, Grahm Frost I think the kid’s name was. Shot an ad for S-CHIP, saying if his family hadn’t had help with medical bills he would have died.
Stalkin’ Malkin went and peeped in the kid’s windows to discover that his family had granite countertops, and therefore they were rich and shouldn’t have had S-CHIP.
Krista
I just really hope there was no spicy mustard anywhere in that kitchen!
My husband asked me about that this morning. He doesn’t follow the blogs as much as I do.
Him: What’s this I was hearing about people being upset about mustard?
Me: Some wingnut pundits are calling Obama an elitist because he ordered spicy mustard on his burger.
Him: Oh for fuck’s sake. What the fuck is wrong with those people?
DougJ
Here you go, Fencedude.
Krista
@Fencedude:
Yeah, it was pretty disgusting. Here’s a good rundown of what happened.
John Cole
Graeme Frost was the final straw for me. I think I switched parties a week later.
Frothing nutters have just gotten crazier.
Chris Johnson
So as long as they’re not taken for granite…?
Fencedude
@DougJ:
Wow, thats…really low.
NutellaonToast
See, this is the problem with Dems. What you should do was tell them to make the counter tops especially prominent. The more the nuts scream, the more they look like nuts.
ironranger
@Krista:
My husband asks that question at least once a week or looks at the tv, shakes his head & leaves the room.
I wonder if those media pundits (other than Fox) ever gag whenever they have to report nonsense like that.
The Grand Panjandrum
@Krista: What I find most entertaining about Mustard Gate is that no Real Texan would ever put a tomato product on a burger. Ever. Evidently the nutters who went over on this one forgot to coordinate with the Texan Secessionists on this one. Alas, it may mean we’ll have to keep Texas in the Union but that is fine with me. I sure would hate for Willie Nelson to have to cross the border with a bag full of pot. That could be tricky.
The Grand Panjandrum
Edited for clarity. [ } OK. That should make about as much sense as I will ever make. Jesus! Tequila time here at my undisclosed location in northern New England.
JK
@Krista:
@The Grand Panjandrum:
By hook or by crook, William http://legalinsurrection.blogspot.com Jacobson, the Inspector Clousseau of the right wing blogosphere, will get to the bottom of the Vast Left Wing Mustard Conspiracy.
wasabi gasp
I would like to think Master Frost grows up to be the proprietor of a very successful kitchen & bath showroom. It’s a friendly place offering the best prices in town on a complete gut/remodel, a bargain famously known as the Full Malkin.
DougJ
This makes me wonder….are straws elitist? Wouldn’t a real American just put his lips on the glass or can or bottle? Afraid of a little aluminum? Probably think it causes cancer.
asiangrrlMN
This is just disgusting. I knew some of this, but not the whole story. Michelle Malkin disgusts me the most of the female nutters, for obvious reasons.
in canaduh
the poorman would photoshop dicks for everyone
Krista
Yeah, she’s really pretty vile. With Ann Coulter, there’s always the question of whether she really believes all the bile she’s spewing, or if she’s just trying to be as offensive as possible in order to get the publicity. With Michelle…the woman is just pure, undiluted, mad hate. I can’t imagine what it must be like to go through life with a constant boil of outrage and hate churning in your gut, always looking for the absolute worst in anybody who you perceive to be ideologically different from you.
It can’t be good for the health.
Mwangangi
You know you’re in too deep when you’re concerned about “optics”.
I remember during the campaign that I would moderate my (occasionally ridiculous) behavior when I was wearing Obama paraphernalia just in case some jackass took something I did as an excuse to vote against me.
Ked
I always thought that straws were the less dignified, and thus anti-elitist position. Besides all the sticking-things-in-your-mouth jokes, and the way you look like a fish, and the fact you automatically get straws at lower-end eateries, you never see those hoity-toity wine drinkers sipping their $50 glass through (horrors!) a bendy straw.
asiangrrlMN
@Krista: Plus, the fact that she’s a double minority (female and Asian) means that she’s three times as into the shit. I really wish we had a sistah on our side to balance out Malkin’s craziness. I mean, Margaret Cho can only do so much.
I think Coulter is just spouting crap. She always has that little smirk on her face that says, “I’m making money for this, bitches.”
@Mwangangi: Vote against you? Obama! Is that really you??????
Ked, but, but, but bendy straws are so much fun!
JK
@Krista:
You left out Laura Ingraham.
Malkin + Coulter + Ingraham = Trilogy of Stupid
Hannity + Limbaugh + Beck + O’Reilly = Tetralogy of Stupid
dmsilev
@DougJ:
Would it help if I told you that in the lab I work at, we use straws for high-falutin scientific experiments?
Really.
One of our instruments (a device called a SQUID magnetometer) has a long thin tube into which samples are inserted. Easiest way to get a sample into the tube at the right position is to jam said sample into one end of an ordinary drinking straw, and attach the other end to the actuator system. Because we care a lot about stray magnetic objects, we’ve carried out an extensive testing procedure of straws from all the local eateries in search of the ones with the least amount of residual magnetic behavior. It changes from time to time, but for now, the Starbucks in the campus bookstore is our supplier of choice.
-dms
DougJ
Unless your experiments involve verifying the theory of intelligent design, then, yes, it proves straws are elitist.
AhabTRuler
@dmsilev: That story makes me giggle like a schoolgirl!
Especially after reading the somewhat tiresome open thread.
wasabi gasp
fixed
dmsilev
@DougJ:
Sorry, can’t help you there. I’m a physicist, not a biologist. As a substitute, I can probably hook you up with someone who thinks that particle accelerators like LHC are going to destroy the world.
-dms
wasabi gasp
It seems that editing a post wipes it of some html tags.
asiangrrlMN
@AhabTRuler: Yeah, no doubt (you heathen). Too heavy for a crisp Saturday afternoon.
@wasabi gasp: The Four Horsemen of the Asspolypcysts. I like it.
JK
@wasabi gasp:
Cool variation. As Malkin, Beck, Hannity, Limbaugh et. al. grow more deranged with each passing day, the comedic possibilities continue expanding towards infinity.
Laura W
Uh oh.
Martin
Ah, but physicists are to blame for the liberal lie that is radiocarbon dating which is often used to refute the proven fact that the world is only 6,000 years old and that Jesus rode a dinosaur into battle against moooslim democrats at the battle of Broward County.
And LHC only has a 50% chance to destroy the world. It either will destroy the world or it won’t, so the odds are 50/50.
dmsilev
@Martin:
That segment was one more in a long list of reasons why The Daily Show is a national treasure.
-dms
LauraM
Thank you to those who gave explanations. I didn’t get the “granite” thing at all. The things I’ve been missing, not paying attention!
May I just say that since I’ve been dipping into the political blogosphere, starting, I don’t know, I guess about 6 or 7 months ago now, that I’ve just been absolutely appalled? I mean, sure, you guys are all used to it, nothing surprises you, but for me it’s been a constant sequence of “They can’t be serious. Wait, I think they are serious. But, but, but ….” I think I might not ever get over this.
gbear
Did you know you can watch a live webcam at the LHC?
gbear
Did you know there’s a live webcam from the LHC?
gnomedad
@asiangrrlMN:
Malkin made a name for herself defending internment camps. Ideally, she would be Japanese, but close enough. There are still opportunities in the industry, though: they need a black person to defend slavery and an aboriginal American to defend genocide.
Wile E. Quixote
@asiangrrlMN
And don’t forget that she’s an immigrant bashing anchor baby as well. She’s just a hate-filled gift that keeps on giving.
Persia
@asiangrrlMN: Well, that’s the problem, isn’t it? There are plenty of Asian women smarter and more interesting than Michelle Malkin, but they don’t spout self-hating garbage so the media has no interest in them.
Phoenician in a time of Romans
Sorry, can’t help you there. I’m a physicist, not a biologist. As a substitute, I can probably hook you up with someone who thinks that particle accelerators like LHC are going to destroy the world.
Details, DMS, details! Like, do I have to study for my final exam or can I just slack off?
asiangrrlMN
@gnomedad: Yeah, I know. Plus, her face is so contorted with hate, it’s hard for me to watch her.
@Wile E. Quixote: God, she must really really really hate herself. At least, if she had any shred of self-awareness, she would.
@Persia: You speak the truth. Then again, Margaret Cho is quite popular, despite being sneered at by the right. I want someone like her to have a blog/show that rivals Malkin’s.
drumwolf
Michelle Malkin – the world’s darkest white supremacist.
Thomas Allen
Of course, a Photoshop job is almost as bad as granite counter tops, in the “who’s a traitor” game.