Balloon Juice
Also, I’m not sure which one of you jackasses to thank for this:
Thanks for that.
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Come for the politics, stay for the snark.
Nothing worth doing is easy.
The words do not have to be perfect.
People are complicated. Love is not.
Black Jesus loves a paper trail.
We still have time to mess this up!
A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires
John Fetterman: Too Manly for Pennsylvania. Paid for by the Oz for Senator campaign.
If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!
An almost top 10,000 blog!
Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?
A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals
Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.
Conservatism: there are some people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.
Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.
I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.
Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.
Only Democrats have agency, apparently.
Bark louder, little dog.
When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.
Fuck these fucking interesting times.
I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.
Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
I did not have telepathic declassification on my 2022 bingo card.
The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.
TenguPhule
Where’s our Discworld thread?
And when are you getting your Prachett on?
gex
When you read an email from Vitter in GMail, do you see ads for Pampers?
robertdsc
At first, I didn’t get the Vitter thing. Now I do. Hahahaha.
Can we haz Tunch pix plz?
Fulcanelli
Damn, did you see that handsome kitteh on the Amazon ad?
Do you get anything from that, John? You should, no?
Krista
Huzzah – long weekend coming up! I’m going to a two-day fiddle camp this weekend to improve my skillz, and am greatly looking forward to it.
I won’t be partaking in the get-to-know-you square dancing lessons, however. At this stage in my pregnancy, it’d look something like this.
binzinerator
At least you have a reason to believe when he’s Twitting he’s not likely to be with one of his prostitutes.
On the other hand he could have a staffer do the Twitting while the ho does him.
And no reason why he can’t twitter while wearing diapers…
Come to think of it, I bet he actually likes to twitter while wearing diapers.
demimondian
@Krista: The stay-puf marshmallow mom!
TenguPhule
Just add cat ears and a tail and we have our new Tunch pics!
TenguPhule
Like fifty tons of jealous feline death from above.
Jon H
@Fulcanelli:
“Do you get anything from that, John? You should, no?”
I believe he gets 30%.
The Cat Who Would Be Tunch
@robertdsc: I’m slow. I still don’t get it.
vacuumslayer
OK, please send your resident, penniless, self-taught digital artist some good mojo. I rescinded my other entry and am submitting this instead. I really want to win that that Wacom tablet (and other goodies) so your good vibes are totally appreciated.
Also, good evening everyone.
Fulcanelli
@vacuumslayer: Really nice piece! Good Luck!
JGabriel
Krista:
That’s truly frightening, Krista. It looks like the genetically mutated, radioactively enlarged, hate-sex spawn of a sinister ménage à trois between the Michelin Man, the Pillsbury Doughboy, and Casper.
.
Fulcanelli
I’m sure by now everybody knows the CIA is telling Cheney to shit up a rope as far a declassifying the documents he requested to save his ass…
It sucks to be him right about now.
Now if I could only get this grin off my face.
vacuumslayer
@Fulcanelli:
Athankee! ^ ^
JGabriel
Fulcanelli:
Nah, Cheney didn’t want them released. They don’t say what he says they say.
.
Calouste
Woohoo! Got tickets for the Winter Olympics today :)
Speed skating, bobsleigh and hockey.
Don’t bother to look now, it basically sold out within an hour except for some hockey tickets.
demkat620
@JGabriel: Yup, and I think when they do finally come out the fact that Dick Cheney is batshit insane will be proved.
Calouste
@Fulcanelli:
I don’t know if that picture of Cheney on HuffPo is recent, but he looks like he is not going to have more than 2-3 years left.
Dennis-SGMM
Bad news; Myanmar democracy advocate Aung San Suu Kyi has been charged with violating the terms of her house arrest. Coincidently enough, Suu Kyi is two weeks away from going free after having been under house arrest for six years. She faces a five year prison sentence if she’s convicted of the charges. In all, Aung San Suu Kyi has spent thirteen of the last nineteen years in some form of detention. Myanmar has elections scheduled for 2010 and the military junta that currently rules the country views Suu Kyi and her party as the greatest threat to their continuing in power.
Laura W
@Calouste: I mentioned on a thread a few weeks back that listening to him speak (see: “death rattle”) makes me think he’s not long for this cruel world.
Since you’ve narrowed your prediction down, I will too.
One year or less.
Edit: Emphasis on the “less”.
Calouste
@Laura W:
You might well be right (or at least more accurate than me).
He looks like he is starting to get those sunken in cheeks of someone who is being eaten by a disease from the inside.
Tonal Crow
@Laura W: I wish Cheney an exceptionally-long life. We need him to live through his trials — and through many years of his sentence in The Hague’s sub-sub-sub-basement, with grey walls for sky, a compact fluorescent for sun, dank air for breezes, and rats for company.
burnspbesq
Way OT, but for those of you who own and love the Ry Cooder/V.M. Bhatt record, “A Meeting by the River,” it is now available as a higher than CD resolution download (88.2 kHz/24 bit) from HDTracks. Haven’t heard it yet, but I assume it is stunningly good.
robertdsc
Some enterprising soul signed our host up for email updates from Diaper Dave as a gag.
burnspbesq
With his history of heart trouble, Cheney is one grand jury appearance or a couple of double cheeseburgers away from checking out.
Laura W
@burnspbesq:
There is no OT in an OT.
Finally catching up on 3 nights’ worth of TDS/Colbert. Jason Jones’ ditty on the ASU speech was pretty damn good. I’m glad he and the Mrs. have not left the show yet. They are yummy funny.
Edit: Oh yeah. Trump. Also.
burnspbesq
@Dennis SGMM:
That story reeks of setup. She violated the terms of her house arrest by providing shelter to an American man who swam across a lake at night in order to trespass on her compound. If Tony Almeida did that, we would say it was too far-fetched even for “24.”
JL
@Calouste: Wow. I went to several events when the Summer Olympics was held in Atlanta. It was so much fun. Woohoo, good for you.
Michael D.
What it looks like:
Tonal Crow
The GOPers at Little Green Footballs have fallen off the reservation. They’re mocking RedState:
TenguPhule
I don’t know whether to laugh or cringe at the madness of LGF sounding so sane.
ethan salto
Regarding Cheney, it seems to me that his media strategy is inevitably going to backfire.
He’s either convinced himself that a) he himself is not in any legal jeopardy, or b) that his arguments are the only way that he and his cronies can escape justice. Either way, I don’t see how he can slow down on his public appearances. And eventually, especially as interviewers get more sophisticated and ask tougher questions, he’s going to make seriously incriminating statements.
For example: I was completely shocked when I heard him say that Bush “basically” authorized torture. That’s a huge slip. And I’m not sure that Cheney even knows it.
If he continues to expose himself to the press, more will come out. He just can’t help himself.
Brick Oven Bill
Windmills suck.
Brick Oven Bill
Nuclear Power Rocks.
Laura W
Oh thank dog.
I was just sitting here thinking: “30 Minutes with nothing new on an open thread? How can this be?”
BOB
always comes throughpop rocks!Bill, are you enjoying some of that value Chilean red tonight?
Brick Oven Bill
Actually Laura, I am heading out the door, bound to a fraternal meeting. I plan on having one Miller Light en route to this meeting, as I think I can hide that much alcohol pretty well. There is supposed to be a pooh-bah attending tonight.
After the meeting, it is very likely that there will be some drinking involved, potenially heavy. Some of the members of this fraternal organization are Veterans.
TenguPhule
Only if you enjoy glowing green.
TenguPhule
Fixed in the name of great justice.
JL
@Laura W: After your comment last night it might be time to mention that you are definitely hooked. They might have a program for that. lol
Laura W
@Brick Oven Bill: OK. We’ll wait here then.
Don’t drink and drive, Bill!
And show an appropriate degree of deference to the pooh-bah.
Jon H
@Tonal Crow: “and through many years of his sentence in The Hague’s sub-sub-sub-basement, with grey walls for sky, a compact fluorescent for sun, dank air for breezes, and rats for company.”
I’d like him to be sentenced to a life term as a Eurovision judge.
Laura W
@JL: Well, you know, JL…the “programs” were founded by Dr. Bob and Bill W.
It’s code within said programs to ask another: “Are you a friend of Bill?”
So you might have something there. Somehow.
(Edit: I think my larger point last night was that I don’t take him too very seriously in that I don’t get triggered by his posts and feel the need to fight back and rail at him for threads on end. Tilting at windmills! I view him more as an eccentric artist. A provocateur, to be sure. But not a malicious one.)
Halffasthero
@Michael D.: I haven’t posted in 1/2 a century. Thought I would now just to make sure I remembered how.
Just so I understand, is Michael D admitting he put JC on the FOV (Friends of Vitter) list and hinting at it?
I still can’t do paragraph breaks. I guess I will stick to run-on sentences.
Krista
You have to be pulling my leg — don’t tell me you don’t recognize Stay-Puft!
JL
@Laura W: Well I guess you are okay as long as you don’t page BOB in an airport.
Meanwhile I’m drinking Trader Joe’s Cabernet Sauvignon. The second glass is better than the first.
JL
@Krista: Have fun this weekend. I hope someone steps forward to add a few words of wisdom. You’ll be missed. NBC is suppose to announce the fall line-up on the 19th and that is when we will know whether or not “Chuck” is coming back.
Laura W
@JL:
BRICK OVEN BILL, red courtesy phone, please!
Too funny!
(Las Rocas Rose. mmmmmm.)
Anne Laurie
The alternate take on that ‘slip’ was: Cheney is threatening Bush (has threatened every other rat, great & small, on the sinking ship of torture-endorsers) that if anyone attempts to bring Darth to justice, he’s got the “man-sized safe” full of incriminating evidence which he’ll trade to protect his own frogbelly-white hide. If you believe this, the recent “Pelosi KNEW (if you believe the CIA is telling the truth about what they told her & they refuse to release the transcripts that would prove it)” kerfuffle is the next shot in the Great Spooks Guerilla War of 2009. It’s not to Cheney’s or to the CIA’s benefit that “we” ever find out what was really done in our names, and if they can convince enough people that looking behind the facade will be just too horrible and complicated and implicating, they hope to stall off a real investigation.
Which is why I have no faith in rumors of Cheney’s imminent demise. He’s not what the geriatricians call “a good life”, but I’m old enough to remember that his first mentor Richard M. Nixon was said to be too ill, too frail, too near death, to testify under oath during the Watergate trials. And once the threat of legal punishment for his crimes was out of the way, Tricky Dick chugged along for another 20 years, “rehabilitating” his image all the way, until a lot of lazy people with their own suspect agendas were willing to eulogize him as a scholar and a great man. I don’t doubt a year or two in actual confinement might kill Darth Cheney, but barring that, he’ll be chugging along on the Faux News circuit getting fluffed by the Media Village Idiots until Sasha Obama is eligible to run for president.
Woodrow "asim" Jarvis Hill
@Tonal Crow: LGF has been wandering to the “sane” zone for awhile now; there’s a Washington Independent story about their break from the pack.
Svensker
Krista, I can totally relate to feeling (or looking!) like Sta-Puft. God, my ankles alone were enough to inspire Frank Herbert’s sand worms.
If anyone remembers Senor Wences, my sister sent me this today. I love him.
JL
@Anne Laurie: After the 2000 election Cheney was on one of the Sunday talk shows, I want to say CBS because I was talking with a friend and that is the only show that we get at the same time. He was asked about the possibility of terror attacks and he said although terrorism was an important topic, he needed to focus on energy. NYTimes with the help of Judith Miller had done a series in January about the possibility of attacks on our country and he dismissed it. Gary Hart was speaking about terrorism all the time. Cheney was more concerned about setting up a situation where he could manipulate the market and cause California to have major blackouts.
Cheney is beyond evil and a quick death from a heart attack would be unfair.
Michael D.
@Halffasthero: LOL! Oh HELL no! I wouldn’t do that to anyone!
Dennis-SGMM
@Svensker:
S’all right!
in canaduh
wait..
so you buy a kindle THEN drop $$ monthly to read the interwebs on it?
sounds really dumb unless i’m missing something
JL
Does anyone watch The Office?
Jackie
@Michael D.: I owe you an apology and since it was a while back I thought you more likely to see it here.
I made an inference based on your trust of Bush, and I was having a cranky day. You’re right ,none of us really know each other. I will try to follow my own admonition to not shoot my allies. Peace.
Michael D.
@in canaduh:
Honestly, I read Balloon Juice regularly on my Kindle for free using the Web functionality.
I subscribed to KIndle-John for $1.99 a month just for the support feel-good thing. I mostly read B-J on my Kindle anyway.
I feel better doing it this way. I enjoy it, and I don’t mind paying for it. Would I pay $10 a month? No. But my $2 a month is my contribution to the tip jar. I’m here several times a day on Kindle.
So why not?
Xenos
@Jon H:
Unconstitutional. Cruel and Unusual.
Michael D.
@Jackie:
I owe you a bigger apology, because I told you to fuck off, which was immature and childish. Not like you told me to go kill myself or anything.
So I owe you a “sorry” more than YOU owe me one.
Group hug? Seriously, no hard feelings. And even more seriously, my criticisms of Obama – I love the guy – are not based on ONE issue. It’s based on promises he made which are easy to do – at least as easy as creating an Office of Women and Girls and stopping federal raids of Marijuana dispensaries in California.
I really DO regret the last line in my comment. Emotional; not rational – and really? Unbecoming of me.
NonyNony
@Anne Laurie:
Cheney’s not going to die because he won’t let anyone get close enough to drive a wooden stake through his heart. The heart he keeps in a box in an undisclosed location (pacemaker my ass).
Eventually he’ll have to fake his death and take on a new identity like he’s done every century or so for the last 5 centuries.
freelancer
Wow,
Was the season finale to LOST worthless or what?
Best season, most useless conclusion.
I’d spoil another show, but I won’t, so lets just say the feeling is still familiar.
Michael D.
@in canaduh: Oh, just in case I made a mistake on the intent of your comment. It doesn’t cost a cent to do Internet on Kindle. Some sites show up crappy. B-J shows up ok for free. I’m just doing the subscription to support a site I enjoy.
Michael D.
@freelancer:
I don’t know much about Lost. But everyone on Twitter seems to be befuddled by it or completely confused (is “befuddled” and “completely confused” redundant?.)
What’s the deal? (without giving anything away, of course.
freelancer
okay well the best moments in lost usually happen in the last few minutes of each ep. The writer’s have a scene that turns the story on its head or reveal something so astounding that the whole audience is like WTF? Usually its a denouement or okay, the ep has climaxed, here’s your post coital smoke, but did you know that cig is laced w/ PCP? WTF? and so they have some kind of narrative device, don’t push the red button scenario. The red button gets pushed, something changes and we see everything anew, and say WTF?
Last night the show smash-cut to white on the pushing of the proverbial red-button. It was pretty weak sauce.
Michael D.
@freelancer: So basically, it is completely unpredictable…?
I don’t necessarily like predictable, but I like to be able to guess. Are you saying “It is so ‘Out there’ that you can’t even guess”
Because I hate that.
I have a love-hate relationship with “24” because it is somewhere in between.
Jackie
@Michael D.: @Michael D.: We’re all good. If someone had accused me of voting for those sociopaths I would have snapped at them too.
I am feeling a little protective of the prez. I don’t know how he isn’t babbling and demanding a recount to get out of the job. I lived through the backlash from Clinton thinking it would be easy to just fix this ,so maybe I’m gun shy, but I think if this isn’t done carefully it could make things worse. It has to be a whole lot more controversial than a panel to be nice to us womenfolk.
Jon H
@freelancer: “Was the season finale to LOST worthless or what?”
The whole ‘woke up and it was all a dream’ thing is so *over*.
Jon H
@in canaduh: “so you buy a kindle THEN drop $$ monthly to read the interwebs on it?”
Internet viewing is free.
What costs a bit is to have blog updates sent directly to your kindle. Basically you get the middle column of Balloon Juice, with the latest posts at the top, without the ads or links on the side. It appears in your list of Kindle contents as if it were a book or magazine, and you don’t have to browse to it via the web.
Amazon has to cover the cost of data transmission, wants to make some money, and wants to be able to pass some on to the blog operator.
Michael D.
@Jackie: No problem. You and I will sleep together someday and all will be ok.
Mmmmkay??
BTW, when we DO, you owe me dinner. I’ll take seafood.
asiangrrlMN
@Anne Laurie: I’m with you. Cheney was threatening Bush and the rest of the cronies. He knows where the bodies are (maybe literally), and he will tell all if this goes any further.
@vacuumslayer: That’s a haunting and beautiful picture. Good luck!
@Dennis-SGMM: That sucks. That really really sucks. I has a sad now.
freelancer
@Michael D:
My friend Alex and I had this same conversation while watching Lost last night.
The appeal of Lost, to me so far is that it has been completely incomprehensible, surprising, and yet it has felt right. The show is internally consistent in its logic. While I absolutely despise fantasy and magical thinking in my recent, but inevitable conversion to skepticism, I will readily allow it to be present in the name of telling a good story. Lost’s story, so far, has shown an amazing dedication to continuity, that rivals The Venture Bros. in terms of the lengths its producers have been willing to go to preserve the validity of its earlier volumes.
My gripe with last night’s finale, isn’t that it doesn’t continue the story in a manner unfaithful with the rest of the series, but that this season, awesome as it has been, taking a mysterious, on-its-face fantasy tale which veers sharply into a science fiction narrative, failed to reward its viewers on a purely narrative scale. The show stopped short.
There is one more season to be made, and the story will pick up from there, but to offer an analogy, it is as if the Godfather faded to credits after the Baptism montage and the killing of Moe Green…and we are left in the dark as to the plot and drama of what happened next until the sequel comes out two years later in 1974. It’s not a bad story, but it is cheap storytelling.
As far as 24 is concerned, the show lost me completely when one of the techie characters was sequestered for suspicions of being a security threat, and Milo was like “OMG, are they kidding? She’s a loyal American, she votes Republican for crying out loud!”
I have the first 5 seasons on DVD, but even my Navy, semi-wingnut uncle has aptly summarized the show as Kiefer Sutherland screaming at a locked door:
“We’re running out of TIME!”
“Who are you working for?!”
“I’m your only chance!”
“Tell me what you know!”
flukebucket
So glad to see that Balloon-Juice is now available on Kindle.
Is there such a thing as Balloon-Juice sweatshirts and/or coffee mugs etc?
Morbo
@ TenguPhule:
WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!! GOOD NIGHT!!
James Hare
you really ought to use PNG for graphics that include text. The algorithm is far friendlier to text — it’s not as obvious in this example, but you might find the results more pleasing to the eye, in about the same size.
just a thought.