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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Excellent Links / Cheney Vs. the Asteroid

Cheney Vs. the Asteroid

by John Cole|  May 22, 200912:55 pm| 25 Comments

This post is in: Excellent Links, Clown Shoes

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Yesterday, we laughed at Peter Kirsanow, who created an artificial situation from which he could speculate about the results of a non-existent poll of pre-approved serious persons, all in order to prove that Cheney is a serious person. And while Kirsanow’s speculation about a made-up situation and the polling results about that situation seems like it is one step removed from having tea with your invisible friends, it actually turns out that Cheney did face down an asteroid, and the full story here.

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Reader Interactions

25Comments

  1. 1.

    dmsilev

    May 22, 2009 at 1:04 pm

    I don’t buy it for a second. We all know that a nuclear-waste explosion knocked the Moon out of its orbit 10 years ago, so this is clearly a coverup. Cheney is just covering for his Martian cronies, who want to be able to abduct crops and make cow circles without interference. Also, there’s oil on Mars and Halliburton has the development contract.

    -dms

  2. 2.

    Comrade Dread

    May 22, 2009 at 1:10 pm

    I think the story should have ended with Cheney incinerating us all, because the only way we can all truly be safe from death by asteroid would be if were already dead.

  3. 3.

    schrodinger's cat

    May 22, 2009 at 1:13 pm

    I had no idea Kirsanow looked like a comic book villian.

  4. 4.

    Bootlegger

    May 22, 2009 at 1:27 pm

    That was pretty damned funny. Guess we know who wore the pants in that House.

  5. 5.

    Napoleon

    May 22, 2009 at 1:30 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    I had no idea Kirsanow looked like a comic book villian.

    Which was basically why the gag based on his picture made the rounds in the Cleveland legal community as I mentioned at the end of the earlier thread.

  6. 6.

    Maurs

    May 22, 2009 at 1:32 pm

    I had no idea Kirsanow looked like a comic book villian.

    That mustache is real?? lol!!!

  7. 7.

    gbear

    May 22, 2009 at 1:53 pm

    Peter Kirsanow must have read The Onion’s cover story last week (5/11) before he came up with his own asteroid story (5/21). It’s too much of a coincidence.

    Although it’s not a coincidence in the sense that wingnuts and The Onion come up with many of the same ideas. Thankfully The Onion knows they’re being stupid.

  8. 8.

    srv

    May 22, 2009 at 2:06 pm

    Was I out monday and missed this here? Brietbart defends America’s honor against Ugandan child soldier protests?

    http://washingtontimes.com/news/2009/may/18/i-jerk/print/

  9. 9.

    John Cole

    May 22, 2009 at 2:10 pm

    @srv: The Sadlynauts covered it in detail. I’m just tired of Breitbart.

    He is more drunk than Hitchens, but probably on shitty hooch, and unlike Hitchens he doesn’t have an accent or a vocabulary to make it work.

  10. 10.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    May 22, 2009 at 2:13 pm

    Gawd don’t even let them start on this, some day it will become “Well, we had convincing evidence that the nearest neighboring planetary system had asteroids of mass destruction ready to take us out, and listen, they’re now better off anyway without that telepathic anarchy that had lasted ten million years and while it’s a shame we had to kill most of them and spend 30 bazillion dollars, bankrupting our home planet in the process, it was worth it to bring Jesus and Democracy to that corner of the galaxy….” said Emperess For Life Jenna Bush the Fourth, great great grandaughter of President Jeb Bush yesterday.

  11. 11.

    Rick DuPuis

    May 22, 2009 at 2:14 pm

    When Cheney harps on the fact that there hasn’t been another terrorist attack on the US since 9/11, it’s like the commanding officer at Pearl Harbor saying that he did a good job of protecting Hawaii except for that one day on December 7, 1941.

  12. 12.

    JK

    May 22, 2009 at 2:16 pm

    OT

    Liz Cheney’s Media Blitz

    May 22 edition of ABC’s “Good Morning America”
    May 22 edition of MSNBC’s “Morning Joe”
    May 22 edition of CNN’s “American Morning”
    May 21 edition of CNN’s “AC360”
    May 21 edition of Fox News’ “Hannity”
    May 21 edition of “MSNBC News Live”
    May 20 edition of Fox News’ “Your World”
    May 17 edition of ABC’s “This Week with George Stephanopoulos”
    May 16 edition of Fox News’ “Fox & Friends Saturday”
    May 15 edition of Fox News’ “On the Record”
    May 12 edition of Fox News’ “Live Desk”
    May 12 edition of MSNBC’s “Morning Joe”

    h/t http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/archives/individual/2009_05/018303.php

  13. 13.

    omen

    May 22, 2009 at 2:23 pm

    are you talking about the talking point where joe scumbag argued if it weren’t for cheney being who he is, he’d be more popular?

  14. 14.

    Malaclypse

    May 22, 2009 at 2:27 pm

    I’ll say here what I said there: how on earth can it be that they are claiming that a member of the administration that oversaw the response to Katrina would be who we turn to in the face of a natural disaster?

    If they really want to claim natural disaster preparedness as their core competency, they are in bigger trouble than I imagined.

  15. 15.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    May 22, 2009 at 2:32 pm

    @JK:

    So the real lesson from all this, as if anyone needed to learn it again:

    Dick Cheney was by all accounts too far to the extreme right even for the uber conservative Bush White House, yet now he’s out there being given media attention as if he represents half the public debate, some of them even calling it “a duel” between him and Obama, putting his speeches front and center, and so on.

    So anyone wanna tell me about “the liberal media” again?

  16. 16.

    anonevent

    May 22, 2009 at 2:35 pm

    Like someone pointed out in the comments, do the Republans really want to go to natural disasters as their theme of the week after Katrina.

  17. 17.

    TenguPhule

    May 22, 2009 at 2:53 pm

    When Cheney harps on the fact that there hasn’t been another terrorist attack on the US since 9/11, it’s like the commanding officer at Pearl Harbor saying that he did a good job of protecting Hawaii except for that one day on December 7, 1941.

    And then dismissing the destruction of American planes by harbor defenses who mistook them for Japanese fighters afterwards as “shit happens”.

  18. 18.

    TenguPhule

    May 22, 2009 at 2:54 pm

    Cheney Vs. the Asteroid

    Bet on the asteroid.

  19. 19.

    JK

    May 22, 2009 at 2:55 pm

    @Bill E Pilgrim:

    I have never understood the reverence and respect the MSM has for Cheney. He’s always seemed like a big dick to me.

  20. 20.

    Napoleon

    May 22, 2009 at 2:56 pm

    @Bill E Pilgrim:

    I, for one, am more then happy that the liberal media has decided to use make Cheney (and Newt) the face of the Republicans. They could not be doing the Dems any bigger of a favor then that.

  21. 21.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    May 22, 2009 at 3:02 pm

    @dmsilev:

    and make cow circles

    That must be a combination of cow tipping and crop circles, where they tip cows over in rows, domino-like, to make patterns?

  22. 22.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    May 22, 2009 at 3:06 pm

    @Napoleon:

    I, for one, am more then happy that the liberal media has decided to use make Cheney (and Newt) the face of the Republicans. They could not be doing the Dems any bigger of a favor then that.

    You know, it occured to me at one point that the echo chamber of the corporate media, mirroring back falsey to the GOP that they were on the right track and etc, is the best friend we ever had, I mean for years now.

    However it should leave no illusions that there’s anything to the “liberal” media meme at all. I suppose it’s best to just them keep on thinking there is though, in keeping with the above.

  23. 23.

    Origuy

    May 22, 2009 at 3:20 pm

    Kirsenow’s mustache is nothing compared to these. Notice where the Championships are being held this weekend.

  24. 24.

    meander

    May 22, 2009 at 3:48 pm

    Actually, asteroids pose a potential threat to the planet because some of their orbits intersect Earth’s orbit. If the asteroid and Earth occupy the same point in space at the same time, it’ll be catastrophic.

    Funding to detect which asteroids have dangerous orbits is far too low, as is funding to determine how to change their orbit, so Cheney’s 8 years in the White House haven’t been very successful against asteroid threats (watching fictional movies on the subject in the bunker doesn’t count).

    KQED public television has a show called QUEST that covered the subject. Watch it here (duration of 11:44).

  25. 25.

    HyperIon

    May 22, 2009 at 5:03 pm

    @John Cole:

    I’m just tired of Breitbart.

    Thank you, FSM, for answering my prayers.

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