Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Pelosi: “He either is stupid, or he thinks the rest of us are.” Why not both?

American History and Black History can not be separated.

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

The choice is between normal and crazy.

“Just close your eyes and kiss the girl and go where the tilt-a-whirl takes you.” ~OzarkHillbilly

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

Meanwhile over at truth Social, the former president is busy confessing to crimes.

When do the post office & the dmv weigh in on the wuhan virus?

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

Republicans: “Abortion is murder but you can take a bus to get one.” Easy peasy.

Fear or fury? The choice is ours.

Ron DeSantis, the grand wizard, oops, governor of FL.

The words do not have to be perfect.

Israel is using food as a weapon of war. Unforgivable.

Oh FFS you might as well trust a 6-year-old with a flamethrower.

Fight them, without becoming them!

“Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on.”

In after Baud. Damn.

“I was told there would be no fact checking.”

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

Republicans firmly believe having an abortion is a very personal, very private decision between a woman and J.D. Vance.

Consistently wrong since 2002

Fundamental belief of white supremacy: white people are presumed innocent, minorities are presumed guilty.

Many life forms that would benefit from greater intelligence, sadly, do not have it.

You are here: Home / Pet Blogging / Cat Blogging / Tunchcam, Round 3

Reader Interactions

177Comments

  3. 3.

    JR

    Cypress Hill? No wonder the cat got chubby!

    Didn’t realize the ‘nip gave you munchies…

  4. 4.

    Laura W

    I swear, Friday nights used to be a lot more exciting.

    Yes. Sometimes it’s best to preserve and prolong the mystery.

  5. 5.

    Krista

    He doesn’t look impressed. My cat was never big on the dangly mice. But shine a small penlight with a nice narrow beam in a zigzag over the floor, and he’d move like his tail was on fire.

  7. 7.

    Krista

    I just realized, you know you have a very loyal readership when you can put up three posts in a row showing your cat basically just lying there, and not only do we not complain, we’re happy about it.

    Fuck, we’re a pathetic bunch.

  8. 8.

    Comrade Desert Hussein Rat

    Your cat plays with the toy about the way a couple of ours do. If it isn’t delivered to him, he wants no part of it. :)

  9. 9.

    TenguPhule

    @John Cole

    Your Discworld reading status update?

    Inquiring commenters want to know.

  10. 10.

    WereBear

    Some cats are hams who would put William Shatner to shame. My Bubby would mug for the camera.

    But some cats just know you’re going to put it on the Internet and embarrass them… if you know what I mean.

  12. 12.

    TenguPhule

    I swear, Friday nights used to be a lot more exciting.

    Well that’s what happens when you leave the fast lane of tapdancing tootsies and paging pages in wetsuits for the Fat Al Gore Mansion and Frigid Soros virgins.

  13. 13.

    The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge

    My dilute tortoiseshell Dixie wouldn’t play with the dangling…I think hers was a squid. She’d grab it, pull the elastic string taut, bite through it, and take the squid away to be dealt with in private.

  14. 14.

    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse

    I swear, Friday nights used to be a lot more exciting.

    A hot young thing threw herself at you today and you didn’t take her up on her offer. Your Friday nights could be a lot more exciting, but you simply have to stop playing hard to get.

  17. 17.

    kid bitzer

    when we get to round 5 or so, tunch is going to find his inner panther.

    then there will be a sudden pounce, the camera lens will get knocked sideways, and after a few shrieks and snarls there will be silence.

    damn. i’m going to miss you, john.

    but if you keep molesting the wild animals, it’s inevitable.

  18. 18.

    Elroy's Lunch

    By the way, Tunch is just indulging you. That’s what cats do.

    And if you think Friday’s are slowing down for you, jeez, I just finished dinner, conversed with the neighbors walking up the street and now Mrs. E.L. and I are getting ready for bed.

    That’s a Friday night for us. What the hell happened?

  21. 21.

    Elroy's Lunch

    Ah, yes, trying to figure out the BJ commenter’s age. I’m always wondering too.

    I’ll lead off. Just hit 57. But I’ve got two 100+ hp motorcycles to keep me thinking I’m still 25.

    That is until I crash one.

  22. 22.

    Calming Influence

    Tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunch!!!!!!

    The Tunchonator! Tunch-o-rama!!! The Tunch-meister!!

    Tunchaham Lincoln!

  25. 25.

    Linkmeister

    “How old are you?”

    “Let’s see, five plus, um, carry the one, um . . .”

    Oh, hell. 58.

    I don’t know why I’m making up dialogues today.

  31. 31.

    Max

    @Krista: My dog loves the laser pointer too. It’s good for about 30 minutes of entertainment for both of us. We use the one with the red light. I keep one next to the couch so I can use it and my laptop at the same time. That $5 pointer brings me a lot of peace. I’m on my 4th one.

  32. 32.

    South of I-10

    Got a new kitten today at the shelter. Katie the kitty. I am so proud of my dog, she is taking little bit under her wing. My cat is not happy about this new addition. Katie is currently doing the sideways crazy kitty hop at the dog, who looks confused.

  33. 33.

    Tattoosydney

    @TenguPhule:

    *-weeps-*

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone’s fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I’m one of Us. I must be. I’ve certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We’re always one of Us. It’s Them that do the bad things.

  36. 36.

    Betsy

    @South of I-10:
    Awwww, Katie was my dog’s name growing up! My mom and I picked her out from the shelter when I was 8 and I named her. When I called her, people sometimes though I was calling her “Kitty,” and would be bemused that I named a dog “kitty.”

    So yeah, I have a soft spot for that name.

  37. 37.

    Steeplejack

    @TenguPhule:

    Buck up. I, on the other hand, just finished Men at Arms and have proceeded directly into Feet of Clay.

    I thought the ending of Men at Arms, in which Carrot and the Patrician arrive at their “understanding,” was pure gold. Genius, even. Found myself laughing out loud.

    I can definitely see how payoff scenes like that (many more to come, I hope) can color and deepen your appreciation of what went before. And I find myself wanting to read the Death novels, based on his cameos in the two books so far.

  39. 39.

    harlana pepper

    “a lot more exciting”?

    are you kidding me?? what could be more exciting than Tunch Cam III?? you have teased us with what you had the nerve to call “action shots” these many months and now TUNCH CAM?!

  41. 41.

    TenguPhule

    I can definitely see how payoff scenes like that (many more to come, I hope)

    The mother of all payoffs comes in Nightwatch.

    Chekov’s gonne was practically invented in Discworld.

  44. 44.

    TenguPhule

    Buck up. I, on the other hand, just finished Men at Arms and have proceeded directly into Feet of Clay.

    One of us, one of us, one of us!

    “He’ll go spare!”

  45. 45.

    Betsy

    Because I am lazy, does anyone have a link to the thread from a few weeks ago in which the best Pratchett books for new readers are discussed? I’ve been meaning to pick up something of his for awhile now, and I don’t want to make everyone re-create that conversation.

  47. 47.

    TenguPhule

    Actually, how old is everyone here?

    Ye Godds. I’m the youngster here. Though in pure cyncism, I probably am three times your age.

  48. 48.

    Martin

    There’s not going to be a naked mopping cam is there? I mean, Pam Anderson wasn’t just testing the waters, right?

    (And I’m 40. I look 23 but I’m cranky like 58.)

  51. 51.

    Betsy

    Though in pure cyncism crankiness, I probably am three times your age.

    Fixed, as applies to me.

  52. 52.

    JL

    OMG, I’m the oldest, I’m 59 and I found the films invigorating.
    OT.. I’m watching The Reader and the acting is exceptional. David Kross has a strong performance as the teenager who is seduced by Kate.

  53. 53.

    John Cole

    BTW- the fat bastard just jumped up, grab the toy off the desk, and ran into the other room.

    The camera battery was in the charger.

    I hate this damned cat.

  54. 54.

    Tattoosydney

    @Steeplejack:

    I can definitely see how payoff scenes like that (many more to come, I hope) can color and deepen your appreciation of what went before. And I find myself wanting to read the Death novels, based on his cameos in the two books so far.

    [discworld geek mode on]

    Following on from your (I think) comment that when you started Guards, it was like a collection of Monty Python offcuts – Pratchett does subtlety very well (as you have seen). It’s just that he likes to be bloody stupid as well (and often at the same time).

    You’ll see that a lot as the relationships between Vimes, Vetinari and Carrot develop over the next few books. See also Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg. See also Death and any character.

    [off]

  55. 55.

    TX Expat

    @John Cole:

    Ok, I realize that I’m a newcomer to these parts (although I’ve been reading and laughing for quite some time), but I’ll come out and say that I’m 40.

    Try that being in law school with a bunch of Doogie Howsers. Although I will say that I work with a woman now ( in the state public defenders office) who is 75 if she’s a day and she tells a story about when she went to college. She was also 40, but she was in undergrad and the only white woman at an all black college in the south. The other students asked her “Miss Linda, what are you doing here?” and her reply was “Well, I’m here for the same reason all the other girls are here, to get a husband.”

    John, I love it when you post pictures of Tunch and wish you would reconsider the beagle thing. My brother has a beagle that I just love. Plus, if so many of them are in shelters, that means that they are in need of a master – poor things. My brother adopted Winston the day before he was to be euthanized and although he does eat tampons and is an incalcitrant fuck – he’s quite lovable and doesn’t bark!

  56. 56.

    wasabi gasp

    Looks like you got a nice cat there, John. When he eats you in your sleep, at least you know you’re going someplace good.

  58. 58.

    John Cole

    @TX Expat: Anyone who has been around this website for a while knows that with all the bitching I do about beagles, I will probably end up with one.

    That is just how I roll.

  61. 61.

    Betsy

    @John Cole:
    Right, right. “The one that got away,” hmm? Always does exciting things just when the camera’s not around. Suuuure. Very convenient. We’re all starting to catch on to your fish Tunch tales. That cat hasn’t moved more than a foot since the Clinton administration.

  63. 63.

    Calming Influence

    @Tattoosydney: I’m sorry, but with all due respect: 36 x 7.05555556 = 254?

    That’s just not gay. You’re actually:
    36 x 3.14159265358979323846 = 113.097336.

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that. :)

  65. 65.

    John Cole

    @Helena Montana: It really is not that loud. The volume on the speakers was 2, but the mic was facing right at the speakers. I thought it sounded much louder in the video than it really was.

  67. 67.

    Farley

    @Krista: ’cause all kitteh news is good news?

    There’s so much to make us crazy and rattle us to the marrow right now. I look at my chocolate lab, and his tail wags. That is a gorgeous and simple certainty.

    Pets redeem us, maybe?

  68. 68.

    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse

    @John Cole: Ha! You just reminded me of this.

    I was attending the 1992 American Academy of Forensic Sciences conference in New Orleans and a forensic pathologist related the following story (paraphrased as best as memory will serve): “Sometimes, when an individual living alone dies unexpectedly, several days may pass before anyone takes notice. Some of these individuals may own a dog or a cat, which will go unfed. In my experience, a dog may go for several days before finally resorting to eating the owner’s body. A cat, on the other hand, will only wait a day or two. Just goes to show you which is more loyal. So, the next time you’re falling asleep on the couch with the football game on, take a look at your cat. He’s not watching you because he’s enamored of you; he’s checking to see if your chest is still moving.”

  69. 69.

    South of I-10

    I forgot how brutal a visit to the shelter can be. They had a border collie mix pup that was so hard to walk away from. They had a litter of black lab mix pups that were adorable and a full grown basset hound that looked so sad to be there. There must have been 20 kittens and 3 or 4 beautiful adult cats. It breaks my heart, I wanted to take them all. There was also a cow, and that is not something you see at the shelter every day.

  70. 70.

    Krista

    Actually, how old is everyone here? You all know I am 38 going 12 and some days 38 going on 70, but I have no clue how old you all are.

    34. Right now, I feel like I’m 34 going on 80, though. I think it’s time for me to go to bed, so once again, I’m going to miss all of the Friday night late-night insanity. Ah well, know that I am with you spirit, if not in fact.

  72. 72.

    gnomedad

    @Betsy:

    Does that mean I’m not the only 20-something in the room?

    The “Friday night cat video-watcher” demographic may be somewhat skewed.
    (55 here.)

  73. 73.

    Tattoosydney

    So is this an open thread or not?

    I think now he is just starting to get irritated with me…

    Yeah, about that… the expression on his face at the very end of the video is not “just starting” to get irritated.

  74. 74.

    Elroy's Lunch

    @Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse

    Hah, isn’t that the truth! So long as I continue to produce food on a timely basis Elroy’s Lunch will adore me. If that stops I’m pretty sure that I convert to prey.

    Hey, look at this; I still awake after 9:30 EDT! Gotta love cat-blogging.

  75. 75.

    SiubhanDuinne

    JL, you are most certainly not the oldest. Long-time lurker, first-time poster here. I’m 66 (as one of my friends said, “Only 600 to go!”)

    Love this site, love the posters, adore Tunch.

  77. 77.

    South of I-10

    @Betsy: Little South is 4 and named Katie the kitty. She wanted Katie to sleep with her, but Katie is really young. When Katie is a little older I am sure she will be sleeping in Little South’s room. According to the shelter, Katie hitched a ride on the engine of someone’s car, who brought her to the shelter. Katie is probably only six weeks old.

  78. 78.

    Farley

    @Betsy: Absolutely understand how that can happen. I transport animals out of shelters. The rescues don’t have enough room and my car is never big enough. Until people spay and neuter to the (almost) nth degree, this is the reality.

  79. 79.

    Betsy

    @gnomedad:
    I know, I’m a 50-something at heart. My ideal Friday night is a happy hour with friends, and then home to cook and watch a movie or read with the bf. He’s currently watching a baseball game, though, and it’s too hot for me to concentrate very well on reading.

  82. 82.

    Old Gringo

    I’m not buying it. Everyone knows only angry and uncivil college kids and DFHs read blogs and all blogs are written by a middle aged “guy named Vinny in an efficiency apartment in the Bronx who hasn’t left the efficiency apartment in two years.”

  83. 83.

    TX Expat

    @John Cole:

    That’s what I like the most about your blog. You bitch about things, listen to opposing viewpoints, then do what you think is right. Or is the most reasonable, taking into account all the variables.

    Winston has been a great addition to our family. He’s laid back, considering all the aggressive human and animal (there are numerous dogs in the family pack) personalities at play. So what if he wants to sniff every single thing (including a fossilized lizard, which he not only sniffed but looked up at me as if to say “watch this” and then proceeded to roll around on)? Of course I’m speaking from an aunt capacity so can’t say what he’s like day to day, but my hyper-control freak sister-in-law loves him so he can’t be all bad. ;-) Just get a good vacuum cleaner is all I’m gonna say…

  85. 85.

    Lesley

    I believe the cat suffers from couch potato syndrome. Of course, I had to click over to YouTube and see all the Tunch videos. Some day we’ll read about how firefighters knocked down walls to extract an 800 lb cat.

  87. 87.

    John Cole

    @Betsy: My god. Are you in grad school or something? Turn the AC on. And if you are in grad school, get naked and shower and drip dry. Hell, mop the bathroom while you are at it. No bad can come from that.

  88. 88.

    South of I-10

    @John Cole: Love Tiger Lily, was listening to it this week. Haven’t pulled that one out in a long time.

  92. 92.

    les

    Well, 61 here, no fucking idea which way I’m headed. Tunchcam is great, why do I have a small pregnant dog in the house, and no cat? Ain’t families great? And now I have to go check, to make sure the teens at the bonfire aren’t importing drugs. Or if they are, that I can confiscate and enjoy them myself.

  93. 93.

    Laura W

    I know for sure I linked this one Friday night a while back because it’s my favorite Natalie/Manics song and I love the setting and I love how she looks, sounds and moves. Joy-Full.

  94. 94.

    Anne Laurie

    Fuck, we’re a pathetic bunch.

    Nah, it’s just the much-mooted Wisdom of Maturity. Says the 53-year-old, and you know you’re middle-aged when you have to stop and do the math when you’re carded.

    Think of me as Nanny Ogg, with no kids and better dentistry.

  95. 95.

    TX Expat

    @JenJen:

    You’re welcome! Miss Linda is a treasure. She told me a story about JFK’s sister who was locked up in Angola (she worked there in the 60’s and says she saw her file) for mail fraud. Apparently, her and her boyfriend were drug addicts and they were stealing social security checks from mailboxes to fund their drug habit. So…they got caught in LA and locked up. Miss Linda says that JFK showed up in a big black limo to get her out (he had pardoned her while president) and then she was never heard from again.

    Of course, I’ve been trying to figure out what sister it was – could it have been Patricia, surely not Rosemary? Not sure…

    Or could it be that Miss Linda is telling stories out of school? I dunno, but she sure knows a lot of LA political gossip…

  96. 96.

    JenJen

    OT, but oh my lawd, does Matt Taibbi deliver yet another nice smackdown to AIG and Joe Cassano here, while also making total sense by refusing to lay it all on Cassano. Excellent read all-around.

    Not that I’m a fan of Matt Taibbi, or anything. Nobody could ever accuse me of that, so please don’t type, like, you know, “fangirl” or anything.

  97. 97.

    John Cole

    @Linkmeister: It will not let you down. Great album.

    I’m listening to the mudshark arpeggio by Zappa now. Talk about shifting gears.

    Out, you go out, so fall out, and do the mudshark, baby.

  101. 101.

    linda

    those are three very funny videos — i was just waiting for him to roll his eyes at the lameness…

    what are the chances that just as you begin to doze off tonite, he’ll be in the mood to play.. lol.

  103. 103.

    DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)

    I’ll lead off. Just hit 57. But I’ve got two 100+ hp motorcycles to keep me thinking I’m still 25.

    I’m 49. I have a hopped up XS850SG motorcycle and a customized 400 hp Mustang to keep the adrenaline flowing, though I do pull out the guitar and blast 80’s hair metal (and heavy metal) to remember the good ol’ daze (literally).

    When rock songs that you grew up with are being used in commercials, you know you are getting old.

  104. 104.

    Anne Laurie

    Anne Laurie, not Magrat?

    Hah bloody hah! — punk. I may be wrong upon occasion (not many), but I am NEVER in doubt.

  105. 105.

    John Cole

    I’m actually curious. How many of you have ever listened to Zappa at the Fillmore East (or any Zappa for that matter)? It is offbeat and crude, but every time I listen to this album it just makes me happy. I know I talk about it constantly, but I wonder how many of you have any idea what I am talking about.

  106. 106.

    auntieeminaz

    @SiubhanDuinne: Love this site, love the posters, adore Tunch.

    Totally agree. I’m 61 and spend entirely too much time lurking here. Also, John, get the Headbutt Kitty. Tunch needs the diversion.

  107. 107.

    asiangrrlMN

    Ha! Tunch is gonna get you back, John, for sure.

    Fake hubby, I’m digging the Bjork song. I like her crazy ass.

    I am 38. Right in the middle, I guess.

    I was wondering about JSF as well. Is he the one who’s fiancee came back home? If so, that might explain his absence.

    Krista, if you haven’t gone to bed yet, Alan Rickman is mine. Oh, and I am green with envy of your friend who had a drink with him.

  108. 108.

    Brandon T

    @Betsy:

    Does that mean I’m not the only 20-something in the room?

    No, I probably win the thread for youngest at 26 :-P

    Of course, west coast time here, so there’s still plenty to do tonight.

  110. 110.

    Linkmeister

    I listened to a lot of Mothers of Invention back in the 1960s when Zappa started the group, but then I forgot about them for a long long time. Now I’d probably appreciate his work more than I did then, when I was listening to AM radio and expected pop hooks in songs.

  112. 112.

    asiangrrlMN

    @JenJen: Put me on the Team Shayla boat. JenJen, great article by your future ex-hubby.

    Anyone here under twenty or over seventy?

  113. 113.

    Old Gringo

    When rock songs that you grew up with are being used in commercials, you know you are getting old.

    Not a good metric. I’m old enough to remember, with some horror and amusement, when Shapes of Things by The Yardbirds was used in a commercial to flog some powdered milk shake mix called Great Shakes, and this was no later than mid 60’s. Shakes of Things to come? In retrospect, this was quite bold.

    OMG!

  115. 115.

    John Cole

    I’m reasonably sure Shayla will be Shayla Cole on Tuesday. I am going to spend the weekend doing a thorough cleaning and buying two more litter boxes so they both can have their own zones of comfort.

    She was pretty damned adorable. I dunno about the name, though, but I hate renaming someone who is almost a year old. I might have to, though.

    I like the name Jillie. Dunno, though.

  116. 116.

    Elroy's Lunch

    @John Cole 105:

    Frank Zappa – Lumpy Gravy. I started listening to Zappa in the summer of 1969, Vientiene Laos. Lifelong fan.

    See, I told you I was old.

  119. 119.

    Old Gringo

    Apparently The Who sold out as well.

    To their credit, they spoofed this practice in their concept album: The Who Sell Out. Some claim it was one of the first so called “concept albums” and it is vastly underrated. Pictures of Lily and I Can See for Miles is on it.

    Eh. Apparently Pictures of Lily isn’t on it. Now you know you are getting old.

  120. 120.

    Carrie

    @John Cole:
    No, but i did own Just Another Band From L.A.
    and knew all the words to Billy the Mountain.

    BILLY was a mountain (BILLY was a mountain!)
    ETHELL was a tree growing off of his shoulder.

    Love the trilogy btw, Tunch is one handsome fella.

  122. 122.

    les

    @John Cole:

    Jebus. All this time, I thought you’d come over to our side. I seldom need mind bleach, especially in connection with great old music, but now….

  123. 123.

    Laura W

    @John Cole: You’ve been talking about a new pet since…um….at least last early December. (Remember “Armani” the Jack Russell in SC?) You’ve visited shelters, searched online, and Shayla is the first one you’ve posted a photo of, called by name, and described in such intimate detail.
    I think she’s yours, John. Most of us do. Don’t let her down. Equally as important, don’t let yourself down.
    Not that we are telling you what to do, of course.

    Edit: The cat does not care what you call her, only that you do call her. Seriously. She’ll love you for calling her anything. She’ll adapt.

  124. 124.

    JL

    @John Cole: How long has she been called Shayla? Most rescues come up with their own names for animals? The easiest way is to come up with something close but Shayla is a name that’s hard to work with.

    OT.. The Reader was great.

  125. 125.

    Betsy

    @John Cole:
    Hee!!! I am, actually, in grad school. And we don’t have air conditioners. But there’s finally a cool breeze starting to come in, so I’m feeling a tiny bit less cranky.

  127. 127.

    Old Gringo

    I’m actually curious. How many of you have ever listened to Zappa at the Fillmore East (or any Zappa for that matter)? It is offbeat and crude, but every time I listen to this album it just makes me happy. I know I talk about it constantly, but I wonder how many of you have any idea what I am talking about.

    Have you listened to Thing-Fish yet?

    Side Two, Track One:
    Torchum’ Never Stops

    You can find the lyrics online.


    Zappa produced GFRR

  128. 128.

    merrinc

    @John Cole

    It really is fine to rename an adoptee. Jillie is a much better name than Shayla. Face it, she’s going to adore you no matter what you call her so make it something you like saying.

  129. 129.

    Tattoosydney

    @JL:

    Most rescues come up with their own names for animals?

    Yep. When we adopted Pedro from here, his name was “Peter Ustinov”. At that time, there was also an Angelina Jolie and a Brad Pitt up for adoption.

    Call your new kitty whatever you want, John. As Laura says, the cat won’t care.

    (I’m not sure what name Tunch will call her though)

  130. 130.

    Jen R

    We’re watching ST:TNG while we veg on the couch, so I’m sitting here watching the Tunch videos with my computer muted. In my head, I’m just setting them all to “Yakity Sax”.

    /36

  132. 132.

    The Moar You Know

    43 years old.

    though I do pull out the guitar and blast 80’s hair metal (and heavy metal) to remember the good ol’ daze (literally).

    My main axe is a Steinberger L-2, sub-100 serial number, all original. But for those moments when I want to turn into a metal god, I have a Kramer Striker with a Floyd Rose.

  135. 135.

    wasabi gasp

    I’m 41 and, like some other bug-toothed fellas in this thread, I use a motorcycle to slow down time – almost stopped it once, even.

    Since there are so many cat lovers here, I’m guessing somebody must have a great tip for keeping the cat from tearing up the sofa. The corners of mine are completely scratched to hell and before picking up a new one I’ve gotta find a solution short of attaching angle iron to the thing. I’m about to order a scratching post, but I’m thinking our cat will only add that to her smorgasbord of destruction. Any magic tips out there?

  136. 136.

    Old Gringo

    Any magic tips out there?

    Spray Cat-Away or some other cat repellent on it.

    And keep a spray bottle of water around for behavior mod.

  138. 138.

    Brandon T

    @wasabi gasp:

    Declaw the front paws of the cat at a young age and keep it indoors. Or even an old age. But be aware it makes them totally defenseless outside.

  139. 139.

    Betsy

    @Tattoosydney:
    Wonderful, thanks!

    @wasabi gasp:

    Any magic tips out there?

    Have you tried putting clear, double-sided sticky tape on the parts that he or she scratches? We haven’t bothered because our couch is too shitty for it to matter anyway (see above – I swear to god, the main carrot I’ve been dangling for myself to motivate me to finish the diss and get a job is that when I get a job I can get a nice couch) but I hear that works well sometimes.

  140. 140.

    John Cole

    @Brandon T: Don’t EVER declaw a cat. Jesus. I assume you are against waterboarding, you should also oppose cutting a cat’s fingers off.

    Again, jesus.

    My advice, get a shitty couch.

  142. 142.

    Jen R

    @wasabi gasp: Our cat scratched the sofa a lot less after we got her a nice scratching post and put it right next to the sofa. Now she usually only does it when she’s pissed that we’re not paying enough attention to her.

  143. 143.

    John Cole

    @Brandon T: Re-reading my earlier response, it seemed really hostile. Apologies. But declawing cats is just horrible. Please don’t encourage it. I just get horrified when people act like that is an option. It really should not be.

  144. 144.

    Steeplejack

    @Tattoosydney:

    Yeah, I made the Monty Python comment about the start of Guards! Guards!. Once he gets his plots going, Pratchett revs up his game, but he seems to have a tendency to want to linger over the funny. And Guards! Guards! just felt like it took forever to get going. But once it got going I liked it fine, and I was really pleased with Men at Arms. There were sections in which the plotting was positively tight. And the treatment of the characters, even the cartoonish ones, was excellent.

    The other thing that may be at work is the “time-lapse photography” effect when you dig into an existing series. Guards! Guards! was published in 1989, Men at Arms in 1993, with six other novels in between them. So Pratchett developed quite a bit in that time. But I read both books within a week. Kind of unfair to expect both to be uniform in quality, but it’s almost inevitable that you want them to be.

    I read all of Michael Connelly’s Harry Bosch novels over the stretch of about a month or so and saw the same thing. The novels go from 1992 to 2008 (if you include The Brass Verdict), and reading them all together you see things that you wouldn’t if you were waiting a year between each one. The two things that made me laugh reading the early (1990s) Bosch novels from the vantage point of a year ago was how much he smoked and how he was always stopping somewhere so he could use a phone. (No cell phone–ZOMG!)

  145. 145.

    Tattoosydney

    2 random recommendations…

    I am currently reading “My family and other animals” by Gerald Durrell. A wonderfully funny book about the five years Durrell spent in Corfu, with lovesick tortoises, thieving magpies, a fight to the death between a gecko and a praying mantis, magnificently drawn characters (some of whom are human) and a boat called Bootle-Bumtrinket.

    I am also reading “The Fabric of the Cosmos” by Brain Greene – a book that managed to make me understand more about string theory in a page and a half than all the other amateur science books I have read put together (although I still understand very very very little, it appears).

  146. 146.

    asiangrrlMN

    @John Cole: Thank god!! I just cringe when I read about declawing a cat. Did you know it’s illegal in England? I’m really glad you’re going to get Shayla. I changed one of my cats’ names when I got them and they were nine months. He didn’t care. Just make sure to separate Tunch and the new girl until Tunch gets used to her. Try Rescue Remedy for anxiety, or a dab of vanilla to make both of them smell the same.

    @wasabi gasp: Please, please, please don’t declaw. Scratching posts are good. I have one in every room. Plus, I just don’t really care about certain couches–so they can have at those couches. However, there is double-sided tape you can put on the couches that they will hate. Spray away, cover in plastic for a bit….

    fake hubby, thanks for more Bjork. She sure is talented.

  148. 148.

    Tattoosydney

    @Steeplejack:

    The other thing that may be at work is the “time-lapse photography” effect when you dig into an existing series. Guards! Guards! was published in 1989, Men at Arms in 1993, with six other novels in between them. So Pratchett developed quite a bit in that time.

    Definitely. If you were to go straight from reading “The Colour of Magic” to, say, “Night Watch, you would wonder if they could be by the same author. He gets much better at everything – tightness of plotting, character, Chekov’s gun – and he uses the hamminess much more strategically.

  149. 149.

    wasabi gasp

    @Old Gringo: Coyote/Fox Urine! Yikes, I still want to sit on the thing. Someone did tell me recently that there’s an indoor cat repellent available. They didn’t have any experience with it though, nor a brand name.

    @Brandon T: I could never bring myself to do that. I’d rather have a torn up sofa than a torn up cat.

    @Betsy: The double-sided tape idea is pretty interesting. I’m gonna give that a go on the crappy sofa we have now and see what happens.

  150. 150.

    Beej

    @JL: No, you’re not the oldest here. The damned calendar says I’m 61, but I don’t really believe it.

  151. 151.

    Steeplejack

    @John Cole:

    Hell, mop the bathroom while you are at it. No bad can come from that.

    Har. Yeah, what could possibly go wrong?

  152. 152.

    Dulcie

    I’m 45, I think (counting….) yep, I’m 45. I just spent the entire afternoon waiting for Macy’s to deliver my new sofa. I work from home, so it wasn’t that much of a hardship, but why do they give you a two hour time window if they’re just gonna make it up as they go along?

    Plus it’s hot as hell already. I love Las Vegas, but christ on a freakin’ crutch, I hate the early spring/summer heat. I’ll adjust by mid-June, but it’s just too damned early for it to be 100+.

  153. 153.

    wasabi gasp

    @Jen R: That’s what I’ve been told, Jen, that a good scratching post may really work the magic. My doubts are high, but I’m gonna pick one up anyway. If it doesn’t work, well, at least I’ll have even more happy cat.

    @asiangrrlMN: No worries. Ain’t gonna happen.

  155. 155.

    Brandon T

    @Betsy: Whoa, crazy; I feel like a war criminal just for suggesting that now. Our family had it done to a few of our cats (or was it done shortly beofre we adopted them?), and because they recovered well, I don’t think I appreciated the magnitude of the surgery.

    Nail clippers it is then. I’ve seen friends have minimal problems when it’s done from the time they’re small.

  156. 156.

    Steeplejack

    @John Cole:

    Haven’t listened to any Zappa in a while, and, saying that, I can’t really say why. Hmm . . . will have to rummage through the CDs that aren’t actually cascading off the desk. But I do like a lot of his stuff.

  157. 157.

    HyperIon

    @Tattoosydney: re: durrell–have you seen the movie? very droll. especially the mom. it was shown on PBS about 5 years ago. when i was only 53. ;=)

  158. 158.

    South of I-10

    @Max: Class of 88! Had my 20th reunion in the fall. Go, it’s not as bad as you remember. I let go of all of my catholic high school demons by attending my reunion.

  159. 159.

    Steeplejack

    @John Cole:

    Go ahead, rename. All cats have their secret names known only to themselves, anyway. Whether they respond to whatever you call them is completely optional, as you know.

    I am still working off the bad-name karma from this: Woman I was dating had a stray cat hanging around her house, started feeding it, then slid down the inevitable slippery slope to full adoption and bringing it inside. Subject of a name came up. Because of some country song I had heard on the radio that had been in my head all day, I said: “Tabby Wynette.” She actually named the cat that. Serenity now. That cat always gave me the cold shoulder, I’m sure for that reason.

  162. 162.

    Steeplejack

    @wasabi gasp:

    Give them something decent to plink their claws on. I have found that a good-sized piece of firewood (whether you have a fireplace or not) is great. The cats I have had really liked having something they could stand on and then really whale on with their claws. Give ’em that and they’ll stay away from the furniture–unless they’re trying to piss you off. You might need a squirt gun at first to help them get the message, but, please, no declawing! That’s cruel and unnecessary.

  164. 164.

    Anne Laurie

    Wasabi Gasp: Many cats prefer corrugated cardboard to upholstery, and horizontal “posts” (beds) to the traditional vertical models. So, the cheap cardboard doo-hickeys can be your sofa’s best friend. And if your cat likes catnip, the cardboard ridges can be sprinkled for added attraction.

    The other solution for sofa-clawers:

    Soft claw nail caps

    I’ve known a number of people who swore by these things, ridiculous as it sounds. Most cats adjust quickly, and if you get the ridiculous nail-polish colors you can spot the missing cap from across the room.

    She was pretty damned adorable. I dunno about the name, though, but I hate renaming someone who is almost a year old. I might have to, though.

    The oldest, dumbest animal I’ve renamed was a slightly brain-damaged 9-year-old cat (from “Heineken” to “Gunther”, because even a cat with no personal dignity should have to answer to “Heinie”), and it only took about 10 days of us eliding from “Heinie-Gunther” to “Gunther” for him to get the idea. (It helped that he was addicted to cheeze curls.) We didn’t intend to re-name the 11-year-old Maine Coon that we adopted from the same tribe, but within 6 months Pooh would also respond to “Elvis” and Gunther knew he was also “Roadie”.

    Loved animals know from nicknames. Even our 5-year-old retired chorus girl papillon Candy, who literally couldn’t walk and chew biscuit, knew that she was also “Mousie” and sometimes Nezumi-kun.

  166. 166.

    Delia

    58 here.

    I adopted a 2 1/2 year old cat from the local shelter whose name I changed. She learned her new name immediately which kind of surprised me. She’s also the only cat I’ve ever had whose clawing I haven’t been able to completely curb with multiple scratching posts.

    Oh, and John, when you bring your new cat home, you might want to have some separate scratching posts for her. My two cats won’t use the same scratchers. The one likes vertical carpeted posts. The other, which is a stray my daughter adopted when she was in college and I ended up with, likes the horizontal corrugated cardboard kind. They never scratch each other’s.

    PS: My daughter named the second cat Katrina because she found her the day the hurricane hit. This is not the smartest cat in the world and she has never responded to her name. The only human word that brings any reaction from her is “dinner.”

  167. 167.

    DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)

    I’m actually curious. How many of you have ever listened to Zappa at the Fillmore East (or any Zappa for that matter)?

    Joe’s Garage and One Size Fits All, f’ing excellent tunes. His music kicks ass and the lyrics are a laugh and a half. Catholic Girls, Nanook of the North, Crew Slut, all great music to listen to.

    My main axe is a Steinberger L-2, sub-100 serial number, all original. But for those moments when I want to turn into a metal god, I have a Kramer Striker with a Floyd Rose.

    That Steinberger is worth some bucks and a damn fine axe to grind on, Kramers are nice too but I can’t get with the headstock…lol

    I have a Jackson RR3 Rhoads that I repainted Diamond White poly (2k) w/ metalflake blue (PT Cruiser color) bevels and glass flake w/ a light purple pearlescent in the clear. I added Seymour Duncan pickups (zebra Jazz neck, rev. zebra JB bridge), put in 250k push/pulls for coil splits and pulled the Jackson licensed tremolo and replaced it with a Floyd Rose Pro. I am now working on my 1984 Peavey Patriot (paint, new pickups’s and wiring, fret dressing), which is a damn fun guitar to play with a 23 5/8’s scale and 23 frets. Odd but very comfortable to play.

    Nothing notable but any instrument is good if it is kept in good shape. Jamming is a great way to forget life’s hassles, just kick back and have fun making music.

  168. 168.

    robertdsc

    Many cats prefer corrugated cardboard to upholstery, and horizontal “posts” (beds) to the traditional vertical models. So, the cheap cardboard doo-hickeys can be your sofa’s best friend. And if your cat likes catnip, the cardboard ridges can be sprinkled for added attraction.

    My KC lives at work and she loves the cardboard boxes we use to pack printed materials in. If only I could get a picture of her in mid scratch.

  169. 169.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Anne Laurie: This is good advice, too. My boys love their corrugated cardboard–yes, they have those, too as well as a cat tree that reaches the ceiling. Spoiled? Hell, ya.

  171. 171.

    wasabi gasp

    @Steeplejack: I did the squirt gun thing a few years ago, but gave up because it was like taking on a second job. I have so many squirt guns, in different colors and styles, that I mounted them on the wall like an art sculpture.

    As far as pissed off cat goes, I think she, Jezebelle the cat, just really digs the scratching. I made some cardboard covers for the arms of the lazyboy and one night went to bed forgetting to put them on. Five minutes or so later I heard scratching, so I got up, flicked on the hall light and there she was going at it in what appeared to be ecstasy. Usually when busted she’ll dart away, but not this time. I walked right up to her in the shadowy light and she didn’t budge a bit. Jezebelle slightly cocked her head in my direction and then went right back to her business like a zombie eating brains. It was pretty friggin freaky.

    @Anne Laurie: Afew months ago I picked up one of those cardboard things and used it just how you described – Jezebelle is a total niphead. But, for whatever reason, she doesn’t scratch it, she just sits on it or sits beside it and uses it as a paw rest.

    We brought Jezebelle to my girlfriend’s folk’s place recently and she took an interest in this thing, so I’m considering getting it along with the scratching post.

    Jezebelle has approximately thirty toes, so I’ll show my girlfriend the nail caps and see if she’s up to putting them on.

  172. 172.

    Anne Laurie

    Jezebelle has approximately thirty toes, so I’ll show my girlfriend the nail caps and see if she’s up to putting them on.

    Jezebelle shouldn’t need the caps on her back feet or her front thumbs (dewclaws), unless she’s unusually dedicated. Just howevermany ‘fingers’ she assaults your upholstery with, which you should be able to count by the scars on the couch {g}.

  173. 173.

    Ash Can

    Ooooh, big soft mushy kitty!! ::huggie huggie shnorgleshnorgleshnorgle::

    Ahem.

    @John Cole:

    how old is everyone here?

    I’m six, as you can see. Although my sense of humor is a bit more mature, around twelvish.

    Oh, all right. I’m 51. But I refuse to act like it.

  176. 176.

    cathyish

    I’m so old (49) that I comment on the Friday nite threads on Saturday morning.

  177. 177.

    wasabi gasp

    @Anne Laurie: I don’t know what I was thinking. Yes, about twenty of those toes aren’t sofa shredders.

    I ran the nail caps idea by the queen and she gave me the quick response I expected: nuh-uh, nope, no gluing stuff to the princess.

    @everyone: Thanks for the tips and suggestions.

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