• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

I was promised a recession.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

Come on, media. you have one job. start doing it.

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

There are consequences to being an arrogant, sullen prick.

Putin dreamed of ending NATO, and now it’s Finnish-ed.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

“Squeaker” McCarthy

They love authoritarianism, but only when they get to be the authoritarians.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

I wonder if trump will be tried as an adult.

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

Mobile Menu

  • Winnable House Races
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Balloon Juice 2023 Pet Calendar (coming soon)
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • War in Ukraine
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • 2021-22 Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Sports / Pens Advance

Pens Advance

by John Cole|  May 26, 200910:00 pm| 55 Comments

This post is in: Sports

FacebookTweetEmail

Pens win game four by a score of 4-1.

Lord Stanley’s Cup hangs in the balance.

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « The Only Real Decision
Next Post: Know when to fold ’em »

Reader Interactions

55Comments

  1. 1.

    Laura W

    May 26, 2009 at 10:02 pm

    That’s a great clean sweep photo!
    Is that yours, or am I wrong again?

  2. 2.

    John Cole

    May 26, 2009 at 10:03 pm

    @Laura W: I found it online. Wrong again.

  3. 3.

    James J. Hare

    May 26, 2009 at 10:04 pm

    Damn you Pens and damn Crosby and Malkin!

    CAPS FOREVER!!

    (I would be remiss to ignore the fact y’all pasted our asses in Game 7. Same time next year?)

  4. 4.

    Laura W

    May 26, 2009 at 10:04 pm

    @John Cole: I’m consistent. You gotta give me that tonight.
    (It’s still good.)

  5. 5.

    tofubo

    May 26, 2009 at 10:25 pm

    ot,,does going galt include giving up your gsa number??

  6. 6.

    Third Eye Open

    May 26, 2009 at 10:28 pm

    Fuck.The.Wings

    I guess, Go Pens.

  7. 7.

    Meanderthal

    May 26, 2009 at 10:32 pm

    GO WINGS!!

  8. 8.

    geg6

    May 26, 2009 at 10:39 pm

    Fuck Bill Cowher and his red shirt and his goddam siren. Bet he’s not grinning so hard now. Go Pens!!

  9. 9.

    Robertdsc-iphone

    May 26, 2009 at 10:41 pm

    How are the Pirates doing?

    In a weird way, I don’t care much about the NHL anymore. My dad and I were talking today about how I don’t follow the game as much as I used to. Even my favored Rangers don’t get much attention from me these days.

    I mock Cindy Crosby once in a while, but there’s no heart in it for me any more.

  10. 10.

    grimc

    May 26, 2009 at 10:42 pm

    What’s problematic about using a broom image when referring to hockey is that “curling” is brought to mind. And isn’t curling basically hockey with a bigger puck, softer sticks and less fighting?

    /doesntgethockey

  11. 11.

    4jkb4ia

    May 26, 2009 at 10:45 pm

    Mazel Tov!

    After the Capitals this series was easy.

  12. 12.

    Derek

    May 26, 2009 at 10:50 pm

    Ready to get spanked by the Red Wings for the second year in a row?

  13. 13.

    4jkb4ia

    May 26, 2009 at 10:54 pm

    In other news, the NBA may be looking at Denver vs. Orlando and weeping for their ratings. Never mind that Dwight Howard and Carmelo Anthony are very good players.

  14. 14.

    Max

    May 26, 2009 at 10:55 pm

    I really need football season to start! I wish the NFL season were longer.

    As a Buffalo Bills fan, I really should wish for a shorter season, but I love everything about football. The games, the nachos, the buffalo wings, the beer, the football pool…

  15. 15.

    Scott

    May 26, 2009 at 11:01 pm

    @grimc:
    Och, Laddie.. ye’ve got it soooo rrright. it’s much more civilized. They even put a handle on the Puck!

    Cheers,

    S

  16. 16.

    Dennis-SGMM

    May 26, 2009 at 11:05 pm

    Hockey? Isn’t that where a bunch of guys have a fight and occasionally a sport breaks out?

  17. 17.

    Stuart

    May 26, 2009 at 11:10 pm

    The Pens are damn good, but the Wings are too deep. Wings in 6

  18. 18.

    Josh Hueco

    May 26, 2009 at 11:13 pm

    As a Cubs fan, I’m more than ready for football season to start, whether it be college or pro.

  19. 19.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    May 26, 2009 at 11:14 pm

    Should be a good finals with Pens against RED WINGS! ! ! !

  20. 20.

    Stella G

    May 26, 2009 at 11:15 pm

    Sorry, John, my Wings are gonna beat your Pens for the second straight year. They’re just too good.

  21. 21.

    Ben

    May 26, 2009 at 11:23 pm

    Marian Hossa looks forward to breaking your hearts, Pittsburgh. Go Wings!

  22. 22.

    KG

    May 26, 2009 at 11:25 pm

    @13: nah. The Lakers will come out of the West. Orlando, though, they could pull it off in the East. Which, as a Lakers fan, I would not mind.

  23. 23.

    Bad Horse's Filly

    May 26, 2009 at 11:30 pm

    @Laura W: In case you need some inspiration.

    Slow and Easy

    A little bit more

  24. 24.

    Ninerdave

    May 26, 2009 at 11:32 pm

    Pens didn’t win, the Hurricanes just went Galt. Showed your asses didn’t they now, you Pens fans you!

  25. 25.

    Ninerdave

    May 26, 2009 at 11:35 pm

    @Dennis-SGMM:

    Hockey? Isn’t that where a bunch of guys have a fight and occasionally a sport breaks out?

    That’s what I keep hearing, though when I watch it, I never seem to see the fights, just people batting a black rubber thing back and forth. Hockey’s about as exciting as watching paint dry.

  26. 26.

    Dennis-SGMM

    May 26, 2009 at 11:46 pm

    @Ninerdave:
    Couldn’t resist taking a shot at hockey. My sport was Cross Country, which is slightly less exciting than golf.

  27. 27.

    pseudonymous in nc

    May 26, 2009 at 11:56 pm

    Interesting that Crosby and the Pens put their paws on the PoW Trophy, since it’s a long-standing superstition that the only cup that matters is the one with the funny base. They tried that last year, and it didn’t work so well. Of course, they’ll probably face the Wings again, and the Wings are very good at winning the Stanley Cup.

    Hockey’s about as exciting as watching paint dry.

    Oh, c’mon. Fastest-moving of the big North American sports, demands the most versatility from its players in their roles. I’ll admit that I prefer the Olympic version, with the wider rink, but it’s a fine game.

  28. 28.

    Anne Laurie

    May 27, 2009 at 12:01 am

    Hockey? Isn’t that where a bunch of guys have a fight and occasionally a sport breaks out?

    In my old blue-collar Bronx neighborhood, it was widely believed that street hockey was invented because you can’t “play” rugby as a substitute for mixed-martial-brawling on asphault. Putting the guys with anger management issues on skates was supposed to make it tougher for them to permanently cripple one another during those “friendly games”, and adding sticks to the mix equalized players of different heights & weight classes. Then (according to this brand of urban folklore) some Canadian accidentally saw one of the street games, and realized the perfect opportunity to do something at a rink less girly than ice-dancing…

  29. 29.

    Don K

    May 27, 2009 at 12:09 am

    GO WINGS!!

    Really all I have to say…

  30. 30.

    shoutingattherain

    May 27, 2009 at 12:11 am

    Yeah baby!! Eastern Conference Champs b2b!! Congrats to the Pens on the sweep. Well done.

    I love this game, and I just can’t see why other people don’t. It’s got speed and grace and strength and ice and none of that translates all that well to TV. It’s one sport you have to see in person to really appreciate. Those guys are all a LOT bigger in person, and if you ever get a chance to go see a practice (like at Southpointe in Pitt and it’s free) you can get right up against the glass and get a better feel for it. These guys are FAST. It’s awesome, but yinz gotta see it, an’ at.

    And because I’m a Democrat I fully expect the worst to happen and the Pens will get crushed by the Winged Wheel. Again. b2b.

  31. 31.

    Ninerdave

    May 27, 2009 at 12:30 am

    Oh, c’mon. Fastest-moving of the big North American sports

    If you consider 2-0 a fast paced game. I can’t stand soccer for the same reason. Too much batting of things around, not enough scoring.

    Considering I can’t skate a lick, I admire the athleticism though.

  32. 32.

    Ninerdave

    May 27, 2009 at 12:32 am

    @shoutingattherain:

    I love this game, and I just can’t see why other people don’t. It’s got speed and grace and strength and ice and none of that translates all that well to TV. It’s one sport you have to see in person to really appreciate.

    I have and it still bored me to tears. Been to see the Sharks several times in fact. Last time I went, I resorted to putting nickels and pennies on the stairs to see who was cheap enough to pick them up.

  33. 33.

    Chasm

    May 27, 2009 at 12:32 am

    Never thought I’d actually root for the Pens again, but as a lifelong Kings fan and mortal enemy of all red wingy things, I do hereby wish your team DEMOLISH it’s opposition en route to hoisting the Cup.

  34. 34.

    Robertdsc-iphone

    May 27, 2009 at 12:43 am

    Re Cindy holding the Prince Of Wales trophy:

    A few years before the Red Wings began their current renaissance, Steve Yzerman did his own thing with the Clarence Campbell trophy by lifting it over his head at the moment of presentation. That was one of my favorite pics of him before watching him lead the Wings to the Cup in 1997. That was a class moment for one of the game’s all-time greats.

  35. 35.

    Turgidson

    May 27, 2009 at 12:52 am

    Getting kind of impatient for some fresh Tunchcam footage over here…

  36. 36.

    burnspbesq

    May 27, 2009 at 1:03 am

    @Ninerdave:

    You must love team handball, which is every bit as violent as rugby and often features scores like 32-25.

  37. 37.

    Tim

    May 27, 2009 at 1:04 am

    Wings in 5

    Might have to break out my Konstantinov jersey

  38. 38.

    burnspbesq

    May 27, 2009 at 1:05 am

    @Turgidson:

    Aren’t you concerned about being sucked into the Tunchian entropy field when you have a bar exam to get ready for?

  39. 39.

    Ninerdave

    May 27, 2009 at 1:34 am

    @burnspbesq:

    You must love team handball

    Never seen it but if it involves people kicking the crap out of each other while scoring, probably. I’ll keep an eye out for it on The Ocho.

  40. 40.

    shoutingattherain

    May 27, 2009 at 1:36 am

    @ Ninerdave

    I have and it still bored me to tears. Been to see the Sharks several times in fact. Last time I went, I resorted to putting nickels and pennies on the stairs to see who was cheap enough to pick them up.

    Pro hockey is something you get, or you don’t. I got interested in it 12 or so years ago because I HAD to. My gf at the time was originally from Pitt and her father was (and still is) a Rush-quoting, dyed-in-the-wool Wingnut dickhead. Now, for some reason him and I (what with my treasonous Liberalism) didn’t have a whole lot to talk about, so the gf suggested that I learn a little about the Pens because he was a big fan, and maybe we’d find common ground that way.

    So I started paying attention. Joined a fantasy hockey league. Subscribed to NHL Center Ice so we’d get all the games. Tried hard to understand it. And along the way I discovered I really liked it. Took years to get all the rules and the tactics and the mental part of it, but I know quite a bit now, and the more I know the more I like it. Even had a Penguin website and messageboard for four years until the Iraq War split it apart.

    As it turned out hockey was the only thing my gf’s father and me could talk about. He’s such a dick…

  41. 41.

    Turgidson

    May 27, 2009 at 2:17 am

    @burnspbesq:

    Point taken.

    *pulls out the Multistate practice exam question booklet, ponders suicide

  42. 42.

    Ecks

    May 27, 2009 at 2:30 am

    All time most contemptible NHL teams.

    1) NJ Devils (doublespit)
    2) Philies (spit)
    3) Wings (p-thewie).

    Goooo Pens.

  43. 43.

    Blue Raven

    May 27, 2009 at 2:50 am

    Ecks, I must protest. The (Mighty) Ducks of Anaheim have risen a long way in a short time on that contemptibility list.

    And I am grateful to a first-wave expansion team for keeping the Cup safe from the Sun Belt for another year. As I no longer have any particular concern for who wins or loses, I will turn to baseball with a gladder heart.

  44. 44.

    Hunter

    May 27, 2009 at 3:09 am

    As a fan of the ever-pathetic Kings, I’ve reserved a special antipathy for the Dead Wings over the years; their fans emerged like red and white cockroaches from the cracks in the foundation of The Fabulous Forum (and now Staples Center) whenever they came to town. Victories over Teh Wing, all too rare, were especially savored. Assuming they dispose of the ‘Hawks tomorrow, I have just one thing to say:

    GO PENS!

    On a side note, I will never forget watching Lemieux’s first game back from Non Hodgkins lymphoma, I’m pretty sure the ’92-’93 season. All he did was score a hat trick.

  45. 45.

    Beau

    May 27, 2009 at 3:17 am

    it doesn’t hang in the balance – the winner of the wings-ducks series was going to win the cup, and they still are. but go hawks anyway! (and hockey fans really don’t care that non-hockey fans are too stupid to get it…)

  46. 46.

    robertdsc

    May 27, 2009 at 3:46 am

    1) NJ Devils (doublespit)

    They killed hockey with their trap system.

    No matter how many Cups they win, I will always hate them.

  47. 47.

    geg6

    May 27, 2009 at 6:03 am

    Ninerdave: Well, you’d find hockey a very fine thing if you’d lived in a city that has twice now had two of the finest players to ever play the game leading you team to victory. Lemieux/Jagr (before he turned into a WATB as a Cap) and now Crosby/Malkin have made up for all the years I futilely cheered my hockey team from childhood on. Hockey, IMHO, has probably the finest all-around athletes of any of the four major American sports leaugues. And hell, ANYTHING is better than baseball. Golf is a thrill ride comparatively.

  48. 48.

    patrick

    May 27, 2009 at 6:45 am

    What’s problematic about using a broom image when referring to hockey is that “curling” is brought to mind. And isn’t curling basically hockey with a bigger puck, softer sticks and less fighting?

    /doesntgethockey

    congrats to Pitt, too bad they’re going to lose the cup to the ‘wings for a second year ;)

    I’m from Northern MN originally (outside Duluth), went to school at Michigan Tech, and live in MI now, so I’ve been a hockey fan all my life. Actually, there’s another sport back in MN and in the UP that’s quite popular: Broomball. replace the puck with a grapefruit sized, hard rubber ball, the sticks with brooms (stiffened with lots of Duct Tape), and no skates, on a rink 1/2 the size of a hockey rink, and you have broom ball. lots of fun for us losers who were never good at skating.

    BTW, I much prefer college hockey over the pro’s….more finesse, less thuggery.

  49. 49.

    Krista

    May 27, 2009 at 7:49 am

    Hockey’s about as exciting as watching paint dry.

    I confess to being surprised — personally, when watching a good hockey game live, I don’t think any other sport comes close to having that edge-of-your-seat tension, where your team is coming close to scoring, and you’re leaning forward, willing the shot to go in, and it doesn’t. Repeat a few times, and when the puck DOES actually go in, you can’t help but go a little nuts.

    But, to each their own. I personally find baseball beyond tedious, and football both boring and confusing. Basketball, I like, but only if it’s a close game. Soccer does have some of the same tension as hockey, so I do enjoy a live game, even if it’s just my 12-year-old nephew’s team playing against a rival school. :)

  50. 50.

    someguy

    May 27, 2009 at 8:32 am

    Agree with the comment about how you get it or not. It’s got the flow of hoops and lacrosse and particularly well-played soccer, with the violence of open field hitting in the NFL. The only sports that seem comparable are seven-a-side rugby, and maybe Ozzie rules football (or Gaelic). Hockey’s blue collar ethos is also really rewarding to the fans and you don’t feel silly genuinely admiring how a team plays. Few pros play soft or slack off, particularly in the playoffs, and there is a special reverence for the players who hustle really hard to get a puck in the corner (knowing they’ll get hit hard) or will take a slapshot for the team. You sometimes even feel okay giving grudging admiration to guys you hate, just because they are so tough, and so good, and so effing evil. (See, e.g. Claude Lemieux).

    The game is subtle too. You can spot the people with sensei level hockey appreciation by looking around the arena for the people cheering a good line change or a clever faceoff tactic.

  51. 51.

    Bill Belichick

    May 27, 2009 at 8:55 am

    Penguins? Boring. The most exciting news in the world of sports yesterday was the reemergence of the NFL’s most glamourous player. Yes he’s been on the cover of SI eleven times now, but it never gets old! Discuss.

  52. 52.

    Jason

    May 27, 2009 at 9:46 am

    @Ecks:

    2) Philies (spit)

    From the Wikipedia history:

    In 1883, infamous felon Al Reach (a pioneering German pornographer) and his attorney, John Rogers, won an expansion National League franchise for Philadelphia, one of what are now known as the “Classic Eight” of the National League (along with the Kansas Klansmen, New York Junkies, Syracuse Strikebreakers, Boston’s Chronic Bronchitis, the Serial Masturbators of Northern New Jersey, Harrisburg Herpetic Scars, and the Mets). They were awarded a spot in the league to replace the Worcester Brown Stockings, a franchise that had folded in 1882 when fans discovered that “Brown Stockings” referred, literally, to the team’s uniform, and did not imply a racial prejudice or sexual deviancy. The new team was promptly nicknamed the “Pedophiles,” and immediately compiled a .173 winning percentage, which is still the worst in franchise history, but did not deter the fans who flocked to see the “Philies'” star players: Rusty “Fever Taint” Trombone and Ed “Aryan Millennium” Delahanty.

    However, as the sport grew in popularity, parents became concerned at the implications of naming Little League teams after their big-league counterparts, a difficulty compounded by Reach’s insistence that such teams be staffed exclusively by registered sex offenders. Reach’s influence declined after he was beaten to death when an enraged mob mistook an impromptu rendition of “Last Exit to Brooklyn” for Reach’s usual evening constitutional. Eventually, as “Pedophiles” was somewhat hard to fit in newspaper headlines, writers began shortening the name to “Philies.” In 1884, the team changed its name to the “Philadelphias”, as it was common for baseball teams in that era to be named after their cities (for instance, the “Bostons” and “New Yorks”) instead of the off-field proclivities of inbred perverts.

  53. 53.

    Argive

    May 27, 2009 at 9:54 am

    @Ecks:

    2) Philies (spit)

    Uh, did you mean the Flyers? Or am I missing something?

    Fuck the Pens. Go Wings.

  54. 54.

    Cackalacka

    May 27, 2009 at 11:48 am

    Kudos to the Pens. Of all the franchises my team played in the post-season, y’alls’ fan-base was considerably classier than the Devils and Bruins fans. That isn’t saying much, but it is true. I was there at the RBC last night by myself, sitting next to two guys wearing Stillers and Pirates clothes. Wrong sports, fellas.

    And while my team did get swept, I (and every other Cane fan) am very pleased & thrilled with the progression of this season. We didn’t think there would be a post-season in January. We didn’t think there would be a second-round at the 85-second-left mark in the Jersey series. And Walker getting the Bruins riled up last round was pretty sweet.

    If hockey can take off in the heart of ACC basketball country, it can take off anywhere.

  55. 55.

    DMD

    May 27, 2009 at 12:15 pm

    Wings in 6? HA! A weaker Pens team took the Wings to 6 last year.

    Pens in 7 this year.

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

Recent Comments

  • Cameron on Medium Cool – Best Mystery Genres! (Jun 4, 2023 @ 11:02pm)
  • Timill on Medium Cool – Best Mystery Genres! (Jun 4, 2023 @ 11:01pm)
  • mvr on Medium Cool – Best Mystery Genres! (Jun 4, 2023 @ 11:01pm)
  • Craig on Medium Cool – Best Mystery Genres! (Jun 4, 2023 @ 10:57pm)
  • prostratedragon on Medium Cool – Best Mystery Genres! (Jun 4, 2023 @ 10:56pm)

Balloon Juice Meetups!

All Meetups
Seattle Meetup on Sat 5/13 at 5pm!

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Fundraising 2023-24

Wis*Dems Supreme Court + SD-8

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
We All Need A Little Kindness
Classified Documents: A Primer
State & Local Elections Discussion

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Twitter / Spoutible

Balloon Juice (Spoutible)
WaterGirl (Spoutible)
TaMara (Spoutible)
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
TaMara
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
ActualCitizensUnited

Join the Fight!

Join the Fight Signup Form
All Join the Fight Posts

Balloon Juice Events

5/14  The Apocalypse
5/20  Home Away from Home
5/29  We’re Back, Baby
7/21  Merging!

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!