Commenter deekaa6 on his experiences with Dr. George Tiller:
In 1994 my wife and I found out that she was pregnant. The pregnancy was difficult and unusually uncomfortable but her doctor repeatedly told her things were fine. Sometime early in the 8th month my wife, an RN who at the time was working in an infertility clinic asked the Dr. she was working for what he thought of her discomfort. He examined her and said that he couldn’t be certain but thought that she might be having twins. We were thrilled and couldn’t wait to get a new sonogram that hopefully would confirm his thoughts. Two days later our joy was turned to unspeakable sadness when the new sonogram showed conjoined twins. Conjoined twins alone is not what was so difficult but the way they were joined meant that at best only one child would survive the surgery to separate them and the survivor would more than likely live a brief and painful life filled with surgery and organ transplants. We were advised that our options were to deliver into the world a child who’s life would be filled with horrible pain and suffering or fly out to Wichita Kansas and to terminate the pregnancy under the direction of Dr. George Tiller.
We made an informed decision to go to Kansas. One can only imagine the pain borne by a woman who happily carries a child for 8 months only to find out near the end of term that the children were not to be and that she had to make the decision to terminate the pregnancy and go against everything she had been taught to believe was right. This was what my wife had to do. Dr. Tiller is a true American hero. The nightmare of our decision and the aftermath was only made bearable by the warmth and compassion of Dr. Tiller and his remarkable staff. Dr. Tiller understood that this decision was the most difficult thing that a woman could ever decide and he took the time to educate us and guide us along with the other two couples who at the time were being forced to make the same decision after discovering that they too were carrying children impacted by horrible fetal anomalies. I could describe in great detail the procedures and the pain and suffering that everyone is subjected to in these situations. However, that is not the point of the post. We can all imagine that this is not something that we would wish on anyone. The point is that the pain and suffering were only mitigated by the compassion and competence of Dr. George Tiller and his staff. We are all diminished today for a host of reasons but most of all because a man of great compassion and courage has been lost to the world.
Cain
My condolences on your loss. I can’t imagine what that would feel like. Thank you for sharing your story with us and indeed such situation show that abortions is not the simple story that pro-lifers believe it is.
cain
Laura W
Great choice, DougJ.
A very moving personal tribute that many need to read.
bago
You know, if I was bleeding out after being shot to death by a pro-lifer, I would take a grim solace in the irony. A very appropriate time to use the phrase: “Father forgive him, for he knows not what he does”.
Emma
I don’t have many prayers, but those I do go to you and your wife and all those couples who face terrifying decisions such as this one. And tonight most to the family of this brave man who had more courage than all the sneering pro-lifers put together.
Woodrow "asim" Jarvis Hill
@bago: As much as I, and others, rage over this act, your comment strike to the heart of the Christ-like actions the posers of the Pro-Life movement only wish they had.
Thank you, so much, for saying that.
Lola
Thanks for sharing this. I hope this loving couple was able to have another child safely. Doctors willing to perform abortions deserve a lot of respect and admiration because they are helping women and families.
Belvoir
Just unimaginable, the decision that brave lady and her husband went through. Heartbreaking.
Was Tiller targeted because he helped in such late-term situations as this? Was he really that rare, the only person who could help them with their decision?
Look, I’m far from rah-rah about the procedure. I wish education and contraception were the vast rule, but the same people who oppose abortion rights also seem to hate contraception and sex ed.
All I know is I care about women, their rights and their well-being.
(I’m a guy.) Abortion has always existed, and should it ever be outlawed again in the US like a lot of mainstream commentators on TV seem to want, I dread the consequences for women- yes, the back alley, the wire hanger, the senseless deaths. Why is this horrible history of women dying not ever addressed on TV by people who call themselves pro-life?
Safe, legal and rare. Not a bad ideal. But violence and anti-choice rhetoric ought to stop being respected as viable, valid opinions in the mainstream discourse, on ghastly TV shows like O’Reilly’s. That ignorant man .
Ked
Thank you for sharing this tribute with all of us, and thank you as well, Doug, for pulling this out to the front page
Calming Influence
My condolences to deekaa6 and his wife. What angers me so much is that we even need to hear of their painful an very personal experience to understand why abortion needs to remain legal. Abortion could be rare in this country, but the anti-abortionists are often the same ones who fight against sex education in schools, making condoms available to teenagers, and promoting abstinence only programs that don’t work. They’re not pro-life; they’re anti-anything that might actually reduce abortions excepting overturning Roe v. Wade.
SrirachaHotSauce
This is the kind of story that has made me believe, lo these many years, that zealous and intractable abortion opponents are just thugs, who care nothing for others at all.
I have never met a pro life person yet who wouldn’t shrug off this story as if it meant nothing. And to them, it means nothing. That’s why I have no regard for them whatever.
lotus
Bravo and all possible comfort, again, to the deekaa6 family.
According to DU, the suspect, Scott Roeder, has posted on Operation Rescue’s site.
Krista
Thank you for sharing, deekaa6. I truly hope that there are some who will read your story and will start to think about their viewpoints. I also hope that if there are any anti-choicers lurking, that they will have the human decency to not subject you to any hate-filled rants.
I’m not holding my breath on either count, sadly.
I just wish that those who are anti-choice could hear or read about the many, many stories like yours, and realize that legal abortion is a necessity in our society. They don’t have to get one. And they don’t have to like the fact that it’s legal and available. However, that doesn’t change the fact that they are necessary.
I shudder to think about society forcing a woman to carry an anencephalic baby to term. That would be absolutely nightmarish. And it completely baffles me how anti-choicers can hear about these incidents and just blithely ignore that they exist, refusing for even one second to imagine what it would be like to be in your wife’s shoes, or in the shoes of any woman put in such a tragic position. I can’t figure out if it’s willful denial, or an utter inability to muster empathy. Either way, the fact that cases like your wife’s are completely ignored by the anti-choice movement is very, very disturbing to me.
Pavlov's Dog
I was just telling my wife about the murder of Doctor Tiller over dinner. My wife is an RN and runs one of the premier Neonatal ICU’s in the country.
Her friend and coworker was 26 weeks pregnant when she found out the baby she was carrying had severe spinal issues and would be paralyzed for life IIRC from the neck down among other issues. When they decided to have the late term abortion, none of the usual hospitals would do the procedure as they were affiliated with a religion. She ended up finding a hospital that would perform the procedure, but it was no easy process at not many will do it.
It’s quite sickening, scanning the idiot freeper comments about Doctor Tiller being a murderer. None of these babies aborted late term could have lived anything close to a normal life once born, and many, if not most would have died early in infancy not the mention the immense pain most would have been in during the short life they lived.
demkat620
God bless and keep you deekaa6 and your wife. I can’t imagine how hard this was to go through. Thank you for sharing.
asiangrrlMN
@Belvoir: He was one of two or three doctors who performed this procedure (most sites claim two, one claims three), so yes, he is, indeed rare. Or was.
Good choice, DougJ. Thank you again, deekaa6 for sharing this heartwrenching story with us. May you and your wife find solace. I will keep you in my thoughts.
JasonF
I’m sure I’m preaching to the choir here, but it’s worth noting that virtually all late term abortions are performed under situations like the one in which deeka6 and his wife were in, or Pavlov’s Dog’s wife’s friend in comment #12. The pro-life movement likes to paint a picture of capricious women who wait until six, seven, or eight months into a pregnancy and then arbitrarily decide to have an abortion. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Calming Influence
I’m only guessing here, because deekaa6 didn’t mention it, but I would think that birthing co-joined twins is not the safest thing for the mother; whether that was part of their difficult decision is something only they need to know. But there are certainly instances where continuing a pregnancy put the mother in grave danger. When did the life of a fetus become more important than the life of a living, breathing adult?
Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse
I’m so sorry, deekaa6. You and your wife are in my thoughts.
I found this story from the parents of a severely hydrocephalic fetus. I’m sure there are many, many more like this one.
geg6
Thanks to DougJ and deekaa6 for puuting to lie the rhetoric of those who disrespect life and families and women through their forced birth ideology. The families who are forced to make these heartwrenching decisions and the brave medical professionals who help and support them must be supported and protected from these disgusting monsters.
Robin G.
Thank you so much for this story, and for showing us what a terrible tragedy today is.
Krista
Thank you for sharing that, Comrade Mary — he sounds like he was an amazing doctor, with so much empathy and caring for his patients. A tragic, tragic loss.
Is it too much to hope that the anti-choice crowd allows his family to mourn, grieve and bury the man in peace?
Calming Influence
And regarding limiting the number of abortions: can someone explain to me why any two DFHs can randomly hook up to produce and raise a child, but to adopt a child you have to be either a rock star or a couple of button down upper middle class heterosexual saints?
gex
@Krista:
These people are constitutionally incapable of it. I’d hesitate to say that most right wing people are incapable of this kind of imagination, because that might be a bit strong. All I know is:
1) The right is against gay marriage, except for the Cheneys.
2) The right is against stem cell research, except for the Reagans.
3) The right is against abortion, except when it is their teenage daughters who are pregnant. Then, magically, many of them freely avail themselves of this choice. Let’s just say my boss, who is from a small town in ND, knows many conservatives who fit this bill. In any event, there’s a reason so few Down’s Syndrome babies are born, and it can’t be that they are all aborted by liberals.
They have no imagination. The not only cannot empathize, but they actually despise the idea of empathizing (see Sotomayor).
Mnemosyne
I don’t know why I’m always freshly astounded at the asshats who think they should be allowed to make medical decisions for complete strangers, but I am. It’s all of a piece with the “pro-life” protesters in the Terri Schiavo case who were totally convinced that they were right even though they didn’t know jack shit about permanent vegetative states or even that several courts of law had ruled that Michael Schiavo’s decision was the one she would have wanted. All they knew was that it was, like, bad, right?
Armando
Doug:
I cribbed this comment in its entirety at our blog. I hope that is okay. This is one of the most moving pieces I have ever read.
Zuzu's Petals
Thank you deekaa6, for sharing this…and thank you DougJ, for posting it on the front page.
Martin
Yep
TenguPhule
Sadly, Yes.
SATSQ.
We had fundies protesting outside of military funerals.
Their right to do so was upheld.
As surely as the sun rises in the east, fundies will be making a spectacle at Tiller’s funeral.
Bad Horse's Filly
Thanks Doug for putting this on the front page. It needed a wide audience. I’ve already shared my condolences with deekaa6 and his wife in the original thread, but I would like to say again, thank you for your courage in sharing this story with us. Peeling back the curtain on the reality of this procedure and also revealing what a heoric man Dr. Tiller was. May he rest in peace. I know heaven welcomed him with open arms and received him as the hero he was.
asiangrrlMN
@TenguPhule: Especially since this is in Phelps’ backyard.
I donated to Planned Parenthood today.
celticdragon
Thanks form me as well. I posted part of deekaa6 ‘s story at Rod Dreyers blog to provoke…empathy maybe?
I finally gave up when someone insisted that “Let go and let God” was the best way, and she was concerned about saving deekaa6’s immortal soul.
*sigh*
Smug, blind, and don’t forget that empathy is a liberal code word…
jenniebee
@Calming Influence: that’s not really true, especially if you’re willing to consider adopting a waiting child (adoptuskids.org). So many people are locked into the idea of infant adoption, but there are over 100,000 kids available for adoption and waiting for families in the US right now. Plus, the costs of adopting a special-needs child are usually covered by the state. Special-needs in adoption is a pretty broad category – in my state, it includes all non-white children and all children six years old or older.
Thanks for this post. I’ve been feeling gut-punched all day by this. He was a courageous and dedicated man.
Krista
@ Martin: Wow, thanks for sharing that link. That still blows my mind that anti-choice women will figure that every woman who needs an abortion is a slut who is doing it for frivolous reasons, but their abortion is really very necessary and moral.
I don’t know why I’m still astonished to hear of such raving, delusional hypocrisy — you’d think it’s something one would get used to, after awhile.
kommrade reproductive vigor
Stories like this help put paid to one of the many big lies that crowd likes to push. People don’t carry a child until near term and then suddenly change their mind … just because.
They. Just. Don’t.
Bhall35
deekaa6’s story provides such a necessary context to the “pro-life” argument.
Thank you for sharing it.
Comrade Jake
According to Kos, the suspect sounds like, well, one of the usual suspects for this sort of thing, unfortunately.
Olliander
Let’s not get crazy now. Nobody has sympathy for the scum who murdered him. But given the nature of Dr. Tiller’s line of work, “hero” is not exactly appropriate.
gbear
Another late term abortion doctor in Colorado speaks out. He doesn’t mince words.
Belvoir
deekaa6, sorry I inadvertently transposed you and your wife, I wasn’t clear. But thank you for sharing your powerful story, and please know I’m thinking good things for you and your wife.
Bostondreams
This has to be one of the saddest and most moving posts I have ever read here, and I have been lurking since before John left dark side. My condolences to both deekaa6 and the family of Dr. Tiller, as well as the members of his practice and his church.
kid bitzer
a very simple point:
at sullivan’s, some of the dissenters are saying that tiller was worse because he was running a “factory”, i.e. an operation with a lot of patients going through in short order.
here from deekaa6 we have a story about a couple that had to travel to kansas from another state. because no one in their state was willing to provide this medical service.
isn’t it obvious that part of why tiller was dealing with large volumes of patients is because there are so few places in this whole country where patients in need can get these services?
i mean: imagine if no dentist in your area would extract wisdom teeth. the only doctors who were willing to had been murdered or intimidated into refusing to perform that operation.
now you have to fly three states over to a dentist who will do it. that dentist serves the needs of clients from 10, 15, 20, who knows how many states, because all of the dentists in those states have also been murdered or intimidated.
something tells me that this dentist is going to be kept very very busy. in fact, it might even look like a wisdom-tooth “factory” to some one who wanted to characterize it negatively.
who made this “factory”? the people who murdered and intimidated health-care providers in the rest of the country, that’s who.
Laura W
@gbear: Boy, I hope that gets a shitload of eyeballs too. Give that man a bullhorn NOW. (pun not intended.)
kid bitzer
@37–
you know what? i disagree.
what tiller was doing was heroic. he was putting his life on the line to provide a legal and much-needed medical service to patients who could not get it any where else.
i don’t like your line about “the nature of his work.” the nature of his work was providing medical services to women and families who need them.
if you want to start casting aspersions on tiller, maybe you should read deekaa6’s story once again.
Robin G.
Olliander – He did his job when it would have bben easier to do anything else in the world, anywhere else in the world; he did it knowing he’d be reviled and would likely one day be killed; and he did it for the rights of others, because he believed it was the right thing to do.
That sounds pretty heroic to me, for what it’s worth.
Jay Severin Has A Small Pen1s
“Right-wing Extremism: Current Economic and Political Climate Fueling Resurgence in Radicalization and Recruitment,”
gbear
I found this list at MN Independent’s coverage of the murder. Jeez.
asiangrrlMN
@Robin G.:
@kid bitzer:
Right there with you. He provided a much-needed service to women who were in dire straits despite him having been shot, vandalized, and protested for much of his adult life. Pretty damn heroic to me.
Thanks for the local link, gbear.
Olliander
I don’t have to. My wife and I lost two unborn children thanks to complications from placenta previa, one was terminated due to said complications. My wife is no longer able to have children.
During those times, I considered the doctor a friend—a decent person, and I understand only too well the nature of his work—but hardly heroic.
Grendel72
More recollections of Tiller here.
via Sully
prospero
It is far, far, far too much to hope that the family will be allowed to mourn. The harassment has, I’m certain, already begun. As someone who grew up exposed to some of the upper echelons of the Religious Right’s agenda, I can assure you that part of the strategy is to terrorize and humiliate the family, and to make certain that humiliation is seen to be done by as many people as possible. The blood has been in the water for a long time now, and the idea is that the American Left isn’t too far from breaking completely. One thing the Religious Right teaches all its foot soldiers (who seldom understand the full implications) is that laws are nice, but they don’t matter so much if you can stigmatize and terrorize anybody who disagrees with you.
It’s no coincidence that the Right learned how to sell the Iraq War and the Patriot Act and all its other unconscionable acts during the Bush regime largely from cribbing strategies that have been working so effectively for the Right on issues like abortion.
Martin
Meteor Blades at GOS is probably worth keeping an eye toward for interesting diaries over the next few weeks.
Jeff Berardi
deekaa6, I don’t have the words to express my gratitude to you for sharing this with us. It could not have been easy.
And thank you to DougJ as well, for recognizing that was too important to let in languish in an extended thread of comments; that too was no small thing. Instead of rushing to condemn the people responsible for this crime to no clear end, we should be using this as an opportunity to celebrate the courage, kindness and humanity of Dr. Tiller. Stories like this have the power to render the empty rhetoric that surrounds this subject completely powerless. Spreading them is the only possible way that anything good can come out of this tragedy.
Again, I thank you both.
Will
Anyone who gets shot twice for doing a job and keeps doing it because he believes it’s the right thing to do is a hero. He had the option to live a very lucrative life as an OB-GYN anywhere in the nation, instead of remaining a target for extremists.
There are now only two doctors who perform this service in the nation. This is how our rights die, at the point of a gun.
gex
@gbear:
Here’s my favorite quote:
Just like Jesus would have said it.
Comrade Jake
@Olliander:
You’re right. Given the comment that started this thread, “angel” does him much more justice.
Calming Influence
@asiangrrlMN:
@30: Thanks for the idea of donating to Planned Parenthood.
DaBomb
I want to thank Deekaa6 for educating everyone here about why a late term abortion would be necessary. I think it is a sad and telling of how crazy the right has become.
I could not ever imagine having to go through that.
Deekaa6, you and your wife are in my prayers.
Thank you.
Calming Influence
@jenniebee: #32: You’re right, point taken. But I’m guessing that a very low percentage of the special needs kids were given up for adoption by gay or lesbian couples who adopted and then decided they just weren’t that into kids. Maybe that they end up being some of the only ones gay couples can adopt is actually a blessing.
asiangrrlMN
@Olliander: Sorry for you and your wife’s loss as well. Such a hard thing to deal with.
@Calming Influence: No problem. I figured I should put my money where my beliefs are.
jrg
I’d like to hear more about Dr. Tiller and what he stood for. I suspect, however, we’ll get more right-wingers on the TV pissing on his life’s work, and calling others like him “pro abortion”, while ignoring the messy reality we live in.
One thing we won’t see (on Fox news or anywhere else) is the kind of denunciation of terrorism we saw after 9/11: “We don’t want to hear your grievances, Operation Rescue. This was wrong. Period. Do you agree? A simple yes or no will do”.
The simple fact of the matter is that abortion opponents don’t care about reducing abortions: if they did, the would support birth control. They are sexually repressed authoritarians interested in policing people’s “naughty parts”, and enforcing “God’s will”.
Litlebritdifrnt
Our local OB/GYN lives in a fortress, I mean literally, a house surrounded by a twelve foot wall, with a gate, he is in constant fear of his life, thanks to the “pro life” crowd. Ain’t that quaint, you live your life in fear of a “pro life” group. I have said this before (and will no doubt say it many times in the future) the pro-life crowd think a fetus is precious right up until the moment that it exits the womb, at which point they could not give a shit about it, whether it is housed, clothed, fed or educated. COULD NOT GIVE A SHIT.
Comrade Kevin
John Avarosis is a fucking idiot.
geg6
Oliander: “The nature of his work” was to provide a needed service to families and women with great empathy, conviction, and courage, having been shot twice, bombed, picketed relentlessly, harassed, and threatened. He did it when almost no one else would. Because he believed in the right of women to control their own medical decisions and lives. There is no better definition of hero.
LD50
What Jenniebee (#32) said: I’m an independently employed DFH, my wife is a school teacher, we’re definitely not upper middle class, and 6 years ago we adopted an able-bodied 8-year-old girl of normal intelligence who’s one of the most wonderful human beings I’ve ever met. (See here: http://aask.org/)
If you insist on adopting a healthy white infant, you’ll be frustrated. But if you’re willing to expand your horizons like we did, there’s thousands of kids out there who REALLY need parents.
Anne Laurie
Deekaa6, thank you (& your wife) for taking the trouble, despite your own sorrows, to explain just how much of a loss *all* of us have suffered as a result of the cowardly murder of Dr. Tiller.
I wish the murderer, and the many “clean-handed” people who encouraged and abetted him in his crimes, were someday to become capable of understanding how much harm they have done, not just to Dr. Tiller and his family, but to the many, many people who Dr. Tiller literally risked his life to help.
uila
I hate to get all political up in here, but nobody seems to be making the point that Tiller is the doctor the GOP trotted out for months as the reason why Kathleen Sebelius was unfit to serve as head of HHS. Now I’m certainly not suggesting they put a big fat red target on this man’s head for no reason… it’s important to score political points blocking nominees whose confirmation is a foregone conclusion. It’s not like anyone could have predicted that domestic right wing terrorists would be making a comeback.
jrg
Seeing as how he got shot before, yet continued to work, I’d say he deserves to be called “brave”, at least.
Calming Influence
I don’t like the inflation of the word “hero” in public discourse, and yet I’ve got to say: how many doctors normally have their lives threatened because of what they do? That’s something police officers, soldiers, and battlefield medics experience. And how many doctors actually get shot because they are performing legal procedures that in many cases save lives? And how many doctors would choose to continue their work after being wounded once, because they believe they’re helping people, knowing that there’s an excellent chance they’ll be killed next time? Again, police officers, soldiers, and battlefield medics come to mind, not doctors.
.
Heroes are the ones who are willing to “stand in the doorway” as Col. Hackworth use to say, even when you know you’re like to die doing it. I think Doc. Tiller fits the bill.
steve s
“1) The right is against gay marriage, except for the Cheneys.
2) The right is against stem cell research, except for the Reagans.
3) The right is against abortion, except when it is their teenage ”
The right is against divorce, except for Reagan, Gingrich, Limbaugh, Dole, Gramm, McCain, Will,…
Ripley
@Comrade Kevin #61: Aravosis has been an idiot for some time now; part of the ‘first wave’ of left bloggers who seem to have devolved into the detritus waves leave behind. It is, ultimately, all about him and his peevish, myriad ways of pinning whatever on Obama, et al. A head so easily swelled must have contained ample unused space.
In any case: Condolences, Deekaa6 and family; this must reawaken some very painful feelings. A sad day for us all, but you (and other of Tiller’s patients) most especially.
Olliander
@asiangrrlMN: Thanks. All the empathy is with my wife—she risked her own life to try and bear children. I will never be able to understand or associate with the feelings or emotions that women in similar circumstances (or normal cirumstances, for that matter) have to go through. Which is part of the reason why the scumbag who murdered Dr. Tiller should rot in hell—-preferably after a long and painful prison sentence.
Excellent point. We adopted a 1 year old girl from China, who is now nearly 5, and are planning another for next year. There is a big time investment, however, plus massive red tape.
omen
if this list is accurate, a surprising number of states, more than than i expected, allow gay people to adopt.
http://gaylife.about.com/od/gayparentingadoption/a/gaycoupleadopt.htm
documentaries which show gays enjoying family life with children has not been recognized for their power by activists. give people a chance to see that, contrary to stereotype, they’re not dysfunctional, but like every other family, a family that feels familiar and something they can relate to, then watch the stigma fall by the wayside.
rosie o’donnell has made a movie like that. it was powerful testimonial to see happy, beloved children raised by gay couples.
HRA
My thanks to deekaa6 for sharing his and his wife’s experience. My condolences to you. Thanks Doug for posting it.
I had heard the word abortion used lately in all the brouhaha over Judge Sotomayor. The first thought I had is “I hope this does not get a lot of press”. I get anxious when I hear abortion being discussed. Some years ago we had a doctor murdered here who only performed some abortions.
What irritated me and still irritates me is seeing the composition of the protesters against a woman’s right to choose. Who are they to judge?
TG I have never had to really make the choice. During one pregnancy I came close to it and it was reversed after further testing.
Yes, it is painful to have a pregnancy terminated whether a person has an abortion or a miscarriage. No one should think otherwise.
gex
@LD50:
But remember, racism against minorities doesn’t exist in this country. Only reverse racism against white people.
Otherwise how could childless white people across the land constantly complain about a shortage of adoptable children while non-white children wait for adoptive parents?
/bitter snark
Calming Influence
@omen:@73
Thanks for the link – it’s great to know that things are changing faster than I realized!
omen
@uila:
i don’t think you’re being political. everybody who helped add fuel to the fire is responsible and needs to be called out on it. especially when we can’t rely on media to do so.
Bret
From the Red State thread:
And they wonder why they’re a minority party.
Darkrose
Thank you, deekaa6. My thoughts are with you and your wife.
LD50
@gex:
True, but it’s not just nonwhite kids — kids over 5-6 y.o. also have a really hard time getting adopted, including white kids.
So it’s also people who refuse to adopt an non-infant.
LD50
I hope it’s gone well! But that wasn’t an option for us, as I gather Chinese adoptions cost a minimum of $18-$20K. We adopted a child from the California foster care system, and almost all of the expenses were covered by the state. Still took 2 years with plenty of red tape, tho — no getting around that, unless you’re Brad Pitt.
The Tim Channel
Too bad for the dead doctor that the religious extremist who killed him is not a retarded Muslim kid fresh out of jail with a sick mom, a stoner buddy and no health care. The FBI would have been on that scheme before the participants themselves could even imagine it.
How hard would it have been to cross reference outspoken religious nutjobs with a known public hatred of Tillman against the database of people charged with do-it-yourself bomb building? How big is that universe of suspects? Do they Google at the FBI?
Nobody could have predicted this. Nobody.
Enjoy.
Genine
Thank you for sharing your story, deekaa6. I am sorry for your loss. I think stories like you and your wife’s need to be heard.
gex
delete
tavella
Hero is absolutely-fucking-appropriate. He fought to make the lives of women and their families better, in the face of terrorism. Even when seriously injured by an assassin, he did not flinch, because he knew that if he didn’t do that work, even more women would suffer.
You can take your ‘ooooh, abortion’s so ICKY’ attitude and shove it. He was a hero.
Anne Laurie
I hate to say this, but a certain part of the anti-choice community is basically peeved that they can’t afford the healthy white newborn adoptee(s) to whom they feel *entitled.* Many years ago, a friend staffing the patient-protection gantlet at a clinic had a very Caucasian protestor shove an Asian-featured infant at her and snarl, “Because of people like you, I had to settle for this!” (Great way to prove your parental fitness, lady. I hope she recovered some sanity before that poor kid was old enough to understand her grievance.) Ever since, I’ve had my ear tuned to what might be called the Discontented Baby Buyer segment of the anti-choicers. People like Chief Justice John Roberts can afford to fly a couple of healthy young Irish women to South America to circumvent inconvenient international regulations against baby-buying, but the street-level shock troops of the ‘Choose life, or we’ll kill you’ brigade don’t have the legal expertise or the money for that. I empathize with the suffering of people who genuinely long to provide love & care for a nice white healthy baby just like them, but I draw the line at forcing women to carry a pregnancy to term just because somebody else wants her baby.
Comrade Kevin
@Anne Laurie:
I would have turned that person in immediately. She is not fit to be a parent.
Jrod
George Tiller was nothing less than a hero. May he rest in peace.
And may those who cheer his assassination suffer horribly before their painful deaths. A pox on your houses would be too good for you.
Mr Furious
@The Tim Channel:
Yup. If this asshole was Muslim he’d’ve been at Gitmo. Religious zealot, associated with other known terrorists, published online rantings, in-person threats to the doctor, arrested with actual bomb-making materials, considered himself a “Sovereign Citizen” who rejected the government and drove around with his own license plates…
The was way more out there on this guy than Jose Padilla, he’s been a McVeigh or Rudolph in the making for years.
josefina
If your blood pressure is dangerously low, I highly recommend reading the RedState thread on Tiller’s murder.
I’m about a tenth of the way in, and it’s clear that they truly do believe that Tiller was “killing babies a day from term” simply because the women “said they were depressed” and so it’s okay “morally, if not legally” that Tiller was murdered.
If I could, I’d make each and every one of these weepy pig-headed hypocrites sit and listen to every one of Tiller’s patients. One after another, over and over, people like deekaa6 and his wife telling their stories in simple, plain language, one human to another. But it’s kinda mean to subject the patients and their loved ones to that much idiocy.
If you do visit this RedState thread, be sure to do a search for “mengele.” The results will be… I’m trying to think of a word for the feeling you get when you encounter something unexpected that, upon second thought, turns out to be not only predictable but inevitable in an especially amusing way.
I’m sure the Germans have a word for it. I’m placing my faith in the linguists who came up with “Schadenfreude.”
Xenos
@Anne Laurie: This is itself part of the larger, poorly articulated critique that right-wingers have against modernity. They are nostalgic for a supply of docile, hopeless poor white women to supply insexpensive sexual services, domestic cleaning services, and children for the gratification of their social betters. The surplus white male population are available for cannon fodder, leaving that many more widows and orphans for self-regarding ‘good folks’ to exploit or ‘save’ from destitution.
Thus, the hatred of trade unionism, women’s rights, public education, public health programs, and so on. They feel deprived of the rights and privileges over the poor people around them. Thus the resentment over the smallest and most poorly funded public welfare programs in the industrialized world.
Dr Zen
It’s a tragedy that this American hero has been murdered. I feel so sorry for those he could have helped and those he loved and who loved him. Thanks deekaa6 for sharing and my condolences to you that you have lost again in this way.
kay
I think it’s important to clear something up. Kansas has restrictions on abortion after 22 weeks, as all states do.
It’s a flat-out lie to state, as Justice Scalia regularly does, that women get late-term abortions “on demand”.
In Kansas, the standard is “serious and irreversible loss of a bodily function” to the mother, or a “non-viable fetus”. That call is made by two physicians, the referring physician and then a second opinion.
What we have to ask now is, where do these women go? Are they consigned to risk serious and irreversible loss of a body function, or delivering a non-viable fetus?
Who just made the call that they had to risk that ? Not the elected Kansas legislature. Not the state or federal courts. Not their physician.
A small group of religious extremists just made that decision for them.
satby
@Anne Laurie: I hate to say this, but a certain part of the anti-choice community is basically peeved that they can’t afford the healthy white newborn adoptee(s) to whom they feel entitled.
Linda
Krista, you mentioned anencephalic babies; about 10 years ago, I read a news article about a cluster of anencephalic babies in South Texas. The community was mostly Latino and Catholic; when sonograms discovered the problem, the churches and families decided that late term abortion was more acceptable than allowing the babies to be born and suffer. (Some decided to have the babies, but they only survived a few days on respirator).
The article was in an environmental magazine, and the cause of the cluster was lead in the environment from an industrial plant dumping waste into the ground water.
I wondered at the time why the “pro-life” movement never protested environmental toxins.
As it was, there were no protests or much notice of late-term abortions in this case, probably because the community was poor and Latino. I’ve never been able to find the article in internet archives, though it made quite an impression on me.
Krista
Yes, and yes. Women will die because of this, no mistake. IIRC, Dr. Tiller was one of only three doctors in the U.S. who performed this procedure. His assassination makes it that much harder for all women to obtain this procedure. So, what will happen is this:
Rich and upper-middle class women will still be able to get the procedure because they will be able to fly out of state, or even out of country to get one.
Working class and poor women will not be able to obtain the procedure, and some will die. Others will have their uterus destroyed, or be torn from asshole to appetite, resulting in permanent fecal incontinence.
I think I’ve figured out another major difference between the left and the right. The right, if they do deign to look at the incidence of severe fetal abnormality, figure that it happens rarely enough that these women aren’t worth making an exception over. They can easily dismiss thousands of women with the sweep of their hand, and think no more of them.
The left, looking at it, puts themselves in the shoes of each and every one of those women, and figures that even ONE woman having to go through what deekaa6’s wife went through is more than enough reason to keep abortion legal. We seem to have a much easier time empathizing with the individual, instead of dismissing anybody whose experience contradicts our worldview.
hacienda
@Anne Laurie:
That is HORRIFYING. That poor, poor baby.
RememberNovember
Proving the hardest decisions are the ones you don’t want to make but have to for the sake of the good of all.
Question is would these OpRescue folks be lining up for organ transplants? I don’t think so.
Are they out adopting the thousands of children out there waiting for good homes? Doubtful.
Punk David
George Tiller was a human being, with problems and also with redeeming qualities as well. However, such qualities and problems that exist with being human do not excuse horrible acts of murder which he committed time and time again. Just because Adolf Hitler may have been kind to dogs and some children does not excuse him from the genocide he propagated. Tiller was not innocent, but CERTAINLY did not deserve to be killed.
See the forest for the trees, folks.
Punk David
For matters of full disclosure, I am Pro-Life. I have adopted three children, in addition to my two biological children. Good Pro-Life people are the salt of the earth and care more about people than most.
Lets not jump to serious and erroneous conclusions here, for it makes you no better than the freepers.
Punk David
Also, as a medical professional, I can also state that the incidents where a mother’s life is in doubt due to being with child are extraordinarily rare. And what is more, modern medicine available to ALL regardless of income (in emergency rooms) can almost ALWAYS prevent the loss of the mother and/or the child as well. The argument that abortion needs to be legal to protect the lives of women is largely bogus, and a good way for the industry to continue to make huge amounts of money damaging women’s bodies and minds, and killing their children.
As a lefty, I rail against the abuses of corporations who abuse people for profit. There is no worse anti-human corporation than the abortion industry. They are worse than Dow Chemical, and worse than GE. They kill children. Period.
Olly McPherson
Hey Punk David, this thread has been largely abandoned, but I’d like to close it with a big “fuck you.” How you can read the anecdote at the top and deliver your Hitler nonsense is beyond me.
Punk David
Hello Olly,
How compassionate and loving your response is. I’ll pray for you and others like who you can look at abortion and act like it is not a gruesome murder. When a child is cut into pieces, and then laid out onto a table to make sure all said pieces, blood, and guts are there, it is nothing but murder. That child feels unspeakable pain, and is destroyed in the name of convenience. And you support that? I feel very sorry for you. Its not too late to change your mind.
May God have mercy on you.
Terry
I just found this and I thought I’d share my experience with Dr. Tiller’s practice.
My pregnancy brought back the depression I thought I had conquered. By the time I entered the fifth month, I was having suicidal thoughts. While my doctors were positive the hormonal changes during pregnancy had everything to do with it, none would prescribe any sort of medication that worked. By my 22nd week, I was so overcome with unimaginable depression that I would have done anything to stop it. Just before my 24th week, I attempted suicide. The blood loss was so intense that they swore I’d have a miscarriage; but I did not. The doctors suggested institutionalization, but we couldn’t afford it, so they suggested abortion. I was in such pain that my husband and I made the decision.
The staff at the clinic was too kind. They even had a chaplain that we were able to speak with about God, abortion, etc. And we were able to pray with our fetus following the procedure.
Dr. Tiller’s clinic literally saved my life.
Hugh Mannity
@Belvoir:
It’s my understanding that there were only THREE doctors in the whole of the USA who were willing to provide medically necessary (and legal) late term abortions.
Now there are only two.
We need to take back the rhetoric. We need to disabuse the country of the myth that women have abortions instead of contraception. That they get late term abortions because they’re “bored with being pregnant” or “change their minds”.
It’s a medical procedure which is nobody’s business beyond that of the patient and the doctor.
Olly McPherson
You’re right, Punk David. I don’t love you. Don’t pray for me, asshole.
aimai
Jeezus, what is with the passive aggressives like punk david? Who the fuck cares if their feelings get hurt? Hurt them with the fucking chair. People in the US don’t have health care–emergency rooms turn people away all the time. People die in emergency rooms if they aren’t the right color or if the medical staff decide they are “faking” it.
As for life long health care, including home health care for a permanently or massively disabled child or adult? Its a joke. Have you ever read any real life stories about the families who are trying to arrange care for severely handicapped older children or siblings? At the same time that they are trying to arrange care for the parents with alzheimers?
I don’t see those wonderful pro life people stepping forward to “adopt” dangerous adults with full blown autism spectrum disorder, or paying for the suction pumps for kids with lung disorders. We are about to see a total destruction of the safety net for already born damaged children and their in home care givers in California. If you had an inkling that your baby would be born with a serious, life long health care condition you’d be crazy *not* to have an abortion given the brutality of the health care system and the lack of long term care options
And assholes like punk david pride themselves on being more moral than the rest of us becuase they support the murder of a doctor?
aim
TenguPhule
I can only come to the conclusion reluctantly that exterminating Redstate and their commenting vermin would be in the best interests of the human gene pool.
TenguPhule
And you can diagnose Terri Shiavo from a video. Yeah, yeah, we get dermatologists and plastic surgeons lecturing us about things outside their profession all the time here.
Phoenix Woman
Yes.
Yes.
This is the whole point of the terrorism: To succeed via terror what you can’t win through the legislature. This has been their de facto strategy for decades, and they’ll even admit it when they think no outsiders are listening.
Very few doctors choose to specialize in reproductive-freedom issues, for this very reason. It’s exactly the same reason why it’s increasingly difficult for girls’ schools in Afghanistan to stay open.
Jamey
Was saying to the missus today, that the danger Dr. Tiller faced every day was proof that he believed whole-heartedly in what he did–and because of that proof, what he did was necessary and worth defending.
I mean, shit, he had round-the-clock bodyguards. If he was doing it for the money, or because he liked aborting fetuses (both non-viable positions, but actual wingnut arguments–of course), he would have long ago found another line of work.
But shooting him while he was at church–nice touch, wingnuts.
Comrade Darkness
@Terry, Just came back to check on this thread. That’s really rough. Glad you found caring help when you needed it. People who’ve never been in a similar situation cannot possibly understand, but we can try, so thanks for sharing. And since you are still here to post, it certainly sounds like the pregnancy was the reason for the depression.
Hopefully some brave soul will step up to the plate and take over for Tiller or health care workers will finally do a better job of sharing the burden all around now that they know they’ve lost this outlet for their worst cases. Patients need to be their own advocates more than ever.
Jill Z
I can only hope that your tragic story, and many others like it, will educate the ignorant about the true rationale behind so called “late term abortion.”
I am a registered nurse and entirely defend pro-choice.
Blue
And this is why Tiller is no hero–he killed a perfectly healthy baby due to mental health issues.
Carol
So Blue, a dead mother AND baby would be preferable to you? Way to be “pro-life.”
tavella
Well, to Blue women are just vessels for babies; their pain and grief means nothing.
Thank you for sharing your story, Terry.
asiangrrlMN
@Terry: Terry, thank you for sharing this story. It must have been a difficult choice for you.
Blue, I see that your vileness had made it to this thread as well. Nice of you to be such a compassionate caring person who cares about the life of–wait, you didn’t comment on the original post. I wonder why not? If you could read Terry’s story all the way through and still write what you wrote, then screw you.
As for Punk David, I have mostly avoided reading your shit, but I would like to second Olly and aimai in their vitriol towards you. Take it elsewhere.
Mum
To Linda or anyone else interested: The anomalous anencephaly cluster that you were talking about occurred in the the area around Brownsville, Texas, and Matamoros, Mexico, in the late 1980s. Just plug any combination of those words into Google and you’ll get a lot of hits, including a NYT article from 1992.
And to Punk David, if you’re even still reading this thread – I echo the contempt that others have cast your way. Et tu, Blue.
Mandy
Thank you for sharing your story. It is truly one that anyone who would dare to say Dr. Tiller’s murder was a good thing should read. I could never imagine being in the situation you were, but if I was, I would hope to find someone such as him to help me too!
Line
How is your wife? Having a miscarriage is emotionally difficult for a woman. More so if it is induced. I recommend these practices done by japanese couples after abortion: http://www.leaderu.com/ftissues/ft9610/opinion/desmond.html
Bill Villafranco
I read this with great sadness. I am so sorry. Sixteen years ago my wife and I lost our son, Billy, at birth. We never thought that our life would change so suddenly. As a young married couple we went to the hospital thinking we would be going home with a baby, our second child. Only to find out Billy died descending in the birth canal. My wife had the most courage i have ever seen in a person. After 18 hours of natural labor, she delivered our still born son. We left the hospital with a picture of Billy……The courage of women is underscribable….. I am sorry for your loss.
Gene Mattheus
Pro life fanatics and their evil spokesman Bill O’Reilly are the real killers here. They seek to politicize the issue and renounce the real intentions of the pro-choicers; to reduce abortions, reduce the pain and suffering of women inflicted with non-viable or unwanted pregnancies. To paraphrase the NRA, if you outlaw abortions, only illegal abortion mills will perform abortions. (sans qualified medical assistance!)
TenguPhule
Corrected for truth.
Abortion is not one size fits all.
MJ
I DONT FEEL SORRY FOR YOU.GOD GAVE YOU LIFE AND YOU TOOK IF..A REAL LIKE MOVING KICKING EATING HUMAN BEING..SHAME OF YOU
TR
I’m actually pro-choice but I was just wondering about the accuracy of the following quote:
According to Peggy Jarman, spokeswoman for Dr. George Tiller, who specializes in late-term abortions in Wichita, Kansas:
About three-fourths of Tiller’s late-term patients, Jarman said, are teen-agers who have denied to themselves or their families they were pregnant until it was too late to hide it. [Kansas City Star]
This would seem to contradict some of the earlier assertions on why late-term abortions were necessary.