Is it time for a new language, or whatever it is that lolcat is? Some of this stuff is pretty amazing:
Pres Obama while u sightseeing in Paris u said ‘time to delivr on healthcare’ When you are a “hammer” u think evrything is NAIL I’m no NAIL
by DougJ| 83 Comments
This post is in: General Stupidity
Is it time for a new language, or whatever it is that lolcat is? Some of this stuff is pretty amazing:
Pres Obama while u sightseeing in Paris u said ‘time to delivr on healthcare’ When you are a “hammer” u think evrything is NAIL I’m no NAIL
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[…] via BJ […]
Comrade Dread
I think Mike Judge was almost right.
In the future, English will devolve into a combination of slang, profanity, hillbilly and lolcat.
Zifnab25
I CAN HAZ RAYGUN REVO-LOU-SHON?
drunken hausfrau
someone needs to do a photoshop on Grassley — post his photo on LOLcat — as a “cat” with his tweet.
honestly… it is a sad, sad comment… Idiot America, indeed.
Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse
Oh, be fair. That’s a whole 139 characters. If he had put in one more character, that would have been enough to achieve a prose marvel.
DougJ
That’s what I’m talking about.
Perry Como
zomg obama got pwned lrn2 politix luser
TenguPhule
Just a loose screw.
Keith
The biggest surprise is that he didn’t spell it “nale”
Karen S.
I think Chuck has a bit of a crush on Obama. He’s just pissed that our president didn’t take him to France.
I agree, Comrade Dread, that Mike Judge (with Idiocracy) got the devolution of English just about right.
Derelict
“I’m no NAIL”
No, U iz FAIL
guster
DugJ u rite this post on bloonjews and u say we need new lnguage. When u hate Amrica u hate NGLISH. I dn’t hate NGLISH.
YellowJournalism
There’s people saying that it wasn’t really him writing this, that a man that age wouldn’t write so poorly, even in Twitter mode. I say they underestimate the power of lazy, angry, and stupid.
Zifnab25
Seriously, though, Does Obama’s frequent overseas declarations remind anyone of a Reagen-esque political strategy? He drops a dime like this and gets everyone worked up about health care and – when he gets back home – the irons are hot.
I feel like I remember Reagen doing this before launching another tax cut crusade or SS “reform” or military budget bump.
If nothing else, I appreciate seeing the GOP perpetually on defense. Although, I guess that’s just Presidential leverage for you.
Joshua Norton
Grssly. ur doin it wrong
IndieTarheel
He’s no poet, either.
Speaking of hammers, this reads as though he might have been hammered at the time.
At least, that’s the excuse I would have used…
Comrade Darkness
I’m no NAIL
Victim much?
Da Bomb
Wow! I mean that statement is completely devoid of any punctuation or sense.
Ebonics has nothing on that!
JenJen
You know, it fascinates me how quickly GOP lawmakers have taken to Twitter, and, personal embarrassment, where Democratic lawmakers have mostly avoided it.
Thank goodness Twitter wasn’t around when our founding documents were written. I shudder to think of The Declaration of Independence, in tweet shorthand.
Dulcie
The best part? That was Grassley’s SECOND tweet.
Grassley’s first tweet: “Pres Obama you got nerve while u sightseeing in Paris to tell us ‘time to deliver’ on health care. We still on skedul/even workinWKEND.”
Joshua Norton
All that’s missing is how cute the Jonas Brothers are and a few LOLs and he’d be at the same level of expertise as a 13 year old girl.
Napoleon
Has anyone noticed that the Rep. full blown embrass of tweeting has worked out better for the Dems then for them?
Bill Belichick
Chuck’s trying so hard to be cool that it’s sad. I’m finding it hard to be cruel, even wearing my Bill Belichick take-no-prisoners sock.
Comrade Darkness
Senator Grassley has been urging the President to let the legislative process work
Shorter Grassley: U haz to leafs some time for lbbysts to buy my voates. Othrwz I luser nxt elecshun.
Joshua Norton
@JenJen:
“@jeffrson: y do u h8 strng cntrl govt???!!!??”
R-Jud
This individual is a member of the party that has been wielding a hammer labeled “TAX CUTS”, no?
chuck
As I read someone say on the Great Orange Satan explaining why GrassLOL is indeed no nail:
“A nail would have a head and a point.”
Librarian
This is another example of the right’s never-ending persecution complex. If you propose a policy Grassley doesn’t like, suddenly you’re hitting him with a hammer. The man has serious problems.
chuck
@R-Jud:
At this point I’d be really disappointed at the GOP if they ever made an argument that *wasn’t* based on self-loathing projection.
JenJen
@Joshua Norton:
@JAdams1Mass – #revwarriors – D00D, OBVS! I NO! TEH KING TTLY SUX!
@chuck:
Absolute perfection! I’ll be using that one all day!
Joshua Norton
I’m just wondering how many more clowns the GOP can to stuff into that car.
I haz a lolz.
IndieTarheel
@JenJen: Now you’ve done it.
I give it two weeks, tops. It’s going to get posted and it’s all your fault
*sob*
LEAVE THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE ALONE!
gbear
FAILGrassley works too.
The only part of the nail left is the shaft.
Johnny B. Guud
No offense, but if WFB didn’t pass on when he did last year, I’m sure this nonsense would’ve killed him.
dpjbro
Gd mxt meta4. Nice, Fr. iz nice. Wsh u wr hr.
Fulcanelli
So naow we haz old Republicanz qwoting Humanistik Psicologist Abraham Maslow? On Twitter? FTW.
I can haz needz met Obama, pretty plz?
Wingularity Event Horizon in sight, Captain.
Sulu, get us the fuck out of here, stat.
geg6
Damn, chuck beat me to it. When I read that on GOS, I almost busted a gut.
What is it with these GOPers and Twitter? First, I refuse to use any technology that may label me a twit. That’s simply non-negotiable. And second, are any of them beyond the emotional/social maturity of my nine-year-old niece? By the evidence, I’d have to say no. And thirdly, anyone finding themselves crying a river because some congresscritters have to work over a weekend?
/crickets/
Didn’t think so.
AhabTRuler
@Washington: KING GEORGE, IZ IN UR KOLONEEZ KILLING YOOR DUDZ!
joes527
I have come to the conclusion that the whole twitter concept is just an elaborate scheme to punk the political class.
I mean — Let’s give them a tool to take whatever though is flying through their little heads, and make it instantly permanent, public and referenceable.
Yeah. That will end well.
Fulcanelli
@AhabTRuler: Epic WIN!
steve s
It’s like someone doing a really stupid impression of LOLCats.
You are, however, huge TOOL.
flounder
UR jus bein a rascialist
cleek
it’s not quite that, but here’s mine.
MikeJ
It’s his name. He’s a politician. He’s responsible for every moronic thing his office releases with his name on it. That’s the trade off for being allowed speechwriters i the first place.
R-Jud
@cleek:
Tee hee. Nice blog, BTW.
Bill E Pilgrim
You know, it actually suits the whole Wingnut message much better.
There was always a sort of disjunction between the juvenile schoolyard taunts these clowns delivered and listening to them do so wearing suits and 12-dollar bottled tans, in sonorous tones from the dias.
Imagine the entire last eight years of nuttery delivered in that language, it actually fits it better.
Quicksand
Wow. This is even less literate and less coherent, if possible, than Duke Cunningham’s jailhouse letter to reporter Marcus Stern a few years back:
http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/docs/cunningham-stern/
Indylib
And here are the college Republicans jumping on the bandwagon of fail.
.
via Steve Benen
JGabriel
Comrade Darkness:
I’m not sure that’s a fair critique. Much as I disagree with Grassley politically, he is – from everything I’ve read – one of the less corrupt people in Congress.
.
theturtlemoves
Please, Hammer, don’t hurt em.
KRK
@MikeJ: True, but in this case Grassley’s office specifically confirmed that the Senator himself wrote the “twits”.
Has anyone else noticed that the two more ludicrous twits were sent at around 4:30 a.m.? What’s the deal with that?
JasonF
All your Senator are belong to us.
Ash Can
Oh for fuck’s sake. Does Grassley have any idea how bloody fucking stupid this makes him look? Any at all??
::headdesk::
And I thought he had a little bit of common fucking sense in him. Criy-iy. If he had the dignity God gave the average housefly he’d be embarrassed to the point of tears by this. And if it really wasn’t him who composed this asinine shit, he’d be quoted on the newswires any moment now that he fired the ass of whatever idiot was responsible.
Go on, tweet away, you GOP assholes. You didn’t need all those bothersome Congressional seats anyway, now, did you?
CapMidnight
So Grassley‘s using technology meant to save precious microseconds by omitting letters, and to instantly broadcast trivialities, to criticize haste?!
Bill E Pilgrim
@Indylib:
“Grow the pie”??
And if you jump on board a pie, doesn’t that get awfully messy?
I don’t know why I’d expect them to keep their metaphors straight when they can’t get anything else right, but still.
Ellie Mae! Your Ma’s out back watering the pie patch, and when they’re ripe enough, we’re all gonna jump on top ‘o one!
Shinobi
Wuz dis on tfln? Cuz he wuz at keggar wit me.
JGabriel
CapMidnight:
The medium is the message.
.
Bill E Pilgrim
@JGabriel:
fixt.
Anne
@IndieTarheel: They’ve already done the Bible, it was only a matter of time before they got to the Declaration of Independence and Constitution.
ThymeZoneThePlumber
The first four letters of Twitter are “twit.”
I’d say, the GOP’s love affair with Twitter is going along just fine.
Now their actual brain farts are broadcast worldwide in minutes.
I don’t think any scheme or plan by Democrats could have a better effect than this.
Another win for technology.
4tehlulz
I kan haz ethin01 plzkthxbai
Ash Can
It’s a pie, all right. Like the ones the good people of Prairie Du Sac, WI let dry in the sun and then see who can throw the farthest.
Bill E Pilgrim
@CapMidnight:
The entire point of that was to use the word “Paris” connected to a Democrat because that’s an instant win, in their minds.
Martin
Just to add to the GOP implosion, Hewitt and Rush are apparently calling for a boycott of GM until they undo their social!st ways (clearly not realizing that the only way for the government to sell their stake is for GM to succeed, which they now seek to undermine).
So Michigan, Indiana, Ohio and all of those other manufacturing states that support GM, that are desperate to see a working America again, get a kick in the junk by the voices of the GOP.
Good long term strategy there, boys!
R-Jud
@KRK:
I think he was just up late looking for pictures of Carla Sarkozy to, y’know, research, and happened to realize the President was in France.
Or possibly just for pictures of Sarkozy. Short ‘n’ snooty, that’s how Grassley likes ’em.
AhabTRuler
Quick’n’dirty, but here you go.
David
Another example of having your assistant Tweet something outrageous and/or weird in order to get your name in the news.
TenguPhule
There are parts of sewers less filthy then others. Relatively speaking.
MikeJ
Nice one. If I had talent I’d do “Invisible Nail.”
AhabTRuler
Thx. Not my best work, but Senator jackass isn’t getting more than 10 minutes of my valuable time.
Tonal Crow
@Indylib:
Fix’d.
Jay in Oregon
Here’s my entry:
http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2009/6/8/128889635078046679.jpg
Blue Raven
Submitted for consideration to the News segment of LOLCat central.
ETA: Hah, Jay. Good to see we didn’t use the same pic.
GambitRF
I’m pretty sure even the most veteran of Twitter users, always completely willing to sacrifice correct grammar and spelling to try and cram something into 140 characters, would figure out that it would probably make more sense to give in and split each of those into two separate posts. Its depressing that elected officials apparently don’t reach the same conclusion.
I think “WorkinWKEND” is the most ridiculous phrase I’ve even seen, and I’m including that one cell phone commercial where the little girl says “IDK, my BFF Jill?”
scav
no Steve Martin Nail through the Head alternatives?
KCinDC
Apparently after you grow the pie, you hit yourself in the face with it.
gypsy howell
So much for their whole “English is our official language” thingie, I guess.
Not to mention, even when I translate it from GrassLOL it doesn’t make any sense to me.
Ked
I think this may be our first actual documented wingularity sighting posted here. Grassley is usually just a partisan hack, but it appears that the limits of tweeting are performing some strange sort of lunacy compression, rendering the result completely incomprehensible without a full wingnut compendium to explain the internal references.
(Like, what’s the hammer? Why do you think you’re a nail? Why does the prez blabbing in Paris about legislative agenda count as a personal attack on you? Yeeeeesh.)
An unpleasantly compact 1.2 wingularity masses.
Chris Johnson
HELTHCAR PLZ
I AM NAIL :D
asiangrrlMN
Oh my god, this is the funniest thread evah–well, at least today.
If we ever needed evidence that the GOP mentality is stuck at age fourteen, we now have it.
OMG! Prez tot. suks! So jel of his pplrty!
Rachel
The hammer/nail reference is from the TV show the “Closer”. Kyra Sedgewick is told this by her boss.
ronathan richardson
The funny thing is that there’s at least 30 republican senators that are dumber than GrassLOLCAT.
brantl
I never thought of him as a nail, more of a doorknob.