I have a ton going on so you all are on your own for the rest of the day.
Open Thread
by John Cole| 92 Comments
This post is in: Open Threads
by John Cole| 92 Comments
This post is in: Open Threads
I have a ton going on so you all are on your own for the rest of the day.
Comments are closed.
Billy K
I can’t see this ending well…
Lesley
Going to get the pup?
greynoldsct00
You’re leaving the place unattended? After last week’s debacle? Brave man.
and yeah, what’s the doggie update?
Punchy
Split Lip Rayfield is the best live band in the country.
Also, the Black Crowes haven’t figured out that their popularity hinges on songs from 15-20 years ago; ergo, perhaps they should pepper their concert set to reflect this. Playing shit off a brand-new album that only 4 non-hardcore fans has purchased is a blueprint for how not to get the crowd pumped up.
Devon Cole
Hey to everyone who sponsored me for the MS150 this past weekend. Had a beautiful day on Saturday and then Sunday it rained on us the entire ride. All in all it went well.
I want to thank you again for your support. I rode on behalf of a local Pittsburgh man who has MS and I am going to send him a letter with pictures from the ride and let him know how many awesome people helped to contribute, Thank you again!
geg6
Ummmm, could any of that ton of stuff you have going on have anything to do with a cute little lady named Lily?
I bet it does. In which case, I promise to play nicely today. Well, as nicely as it’s possible for me to play, that is.
The Grand Panjandrum
This is what a little pressure from a potential primary challenge can do:
Nothing like a threatened primary challenge to focus ones mind, eh, Arlen?
Hob
There’s an obscure Philip K. Dick novel, one of the non-science-fiction ones, called The Broken Bubble. Part of the plot concerns a Crazy Eddie’s-type store that buys an excessive amount of air time for the worst, most obnoxious radio ad ever made; it runs all the time on the local station that plays in stores and barber shops, and drives all their customers away. The morning show DJ loses his job for refusing to play the ad one more time. Everyone in town is getting totally grossed out by this thing. Still, the Crazy Eddie guy won’t back down — he paid a ton of money and he thinks the ad is awesome.
For some reason, this is what I think of now every time I look at the upper left corner of this blog.
SrirachaHotSauce
What time do the crazy people show up and start advocating overthrow of the government?
PeakVT
OT: Laura Bush likes Sotomayor, says W. will keep his yap shut.
The Grand Panjandrum
@SrirachaHotSauce: Sullivan linked to Coles snarky post on torturing Dr. Tiller’s assassin. It should be a fun thread to be on sometime today if you want a reprise of last week’s free-for-all.
smiley
@Devon Cole: Way to go Devon!
In other news, have any of you heard the Huckabee Report on the radio? It’s like 3 minutes of Mike’s folksy-charm take on the news. It really sounds like he’s angling to be the new Paul Harvey if the whole running for president thing doesn’t work out. And now the rest of the story…
Johnny B. Guud
Anyone know anything about the band Camera Obscura ?
I heard their new CD in a bookstore the other day and the lead singer’s voice was sirenesque.
Nazgul35
I say we crap in his shoe and get caught on the drapes!!!!
Punchy
@The Grand Panjandrum: what happened last week?
Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse
Camera Obscura are pretty damn fab. You might check out their first CD, too (this was the lead single). Neat video, too.
The Grand Panjandrum
@Punchy: One of the threads on the Tiller murder ended up being a free for all with a couple of wingnuts making some pretty outrageous statements. Cole ended up deleting a couple hundred comments and closing the thread down. I don’t remember what day but it should be easy enough to find if you go to the archive.
Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse
And if you have a weak spot for Scottish chicks singing pop, there’s always Eddi Reader/Fairground Attraction (Perfect) and Emma Pollock, who is now solo after being with The Delgados for years (Acid Test).
SrirachaHotSauce
@The Grand Panjandrum:
Ack. I was in the thick of it with the crazies on that thread, I have no desire to do it again. A nice quiet day of pulling my fingernails out with pliers would be better …..
gex
@Hob: Ad Block Plus. That’s all I’m going to say. That and I’m going to go donate to the blog now since I’m refusing to view the advertisements.
Lee
Sully, just linked to the torture post.
Get ready for long load times as the traffic increases
Matt
This is no way to treat one of America’s most famous poets!
blahblahblah
I think I’m going to dump my GF of four months. Here’s why:
She is overly critical. For example, she dislikes that I do classwork and reading in my bed. She claims this causes insomnia, which – even if it does – is none of her damn business. I have many other petty examples like this. I’m sick of it.
Every conversation degrades into an argument about nothing or a game of one-upmanship over irrelevant facts. She initiates the game. We had a minor argument over whether a certain university – which she cannot afford – would accept matriculating a student who simply took classes there. This particular university – that I happen to work for – would not. It is a simple fact that could be verified by calling the Registrar’s office; which I recommended she do rather than debating the point. But she can’t afford it anyway, so instead of simply accepting that she could find this out on her own, she simply ended the conversation with “I can’t afford it anyway”.
Here’s the kicker: She’s told me that if we’re to have children, I should quit my current job – because I’m not happy there, according to her – and then take a job elsewhere. My university-job benefits of $5K/yr for night classes, 5% 401K match, nearly a decade of accumulated seniority – toss it all! And quit night school too. Then she’ll quit her job, go to school full time to earn a Ph.D, while I pay the bills for the entire family. She and I earn comparable six figure or near six figure salaries.
Fuck her. Time to dump her ass.
rachel
@The Grand Panjandrum: It was Friday for me, so it was probably Thursday for you all. The thread (pre-John Cole intervention) was still up on my browser when I got back to my office this morning.
Incertus
@Punchy:
Is their bassist still playing a radiator with a neck welded on and single string tuned to C? I met them briefly about seven or eight years ago when I was in grad school and dee-jaying for the student-run radio station.
Incertus
@Matt: Look, man, I know us poets don’t get much respect or any recognition in this country, but don’t go dumping Bret Michaels on us. We have enough problems with Jewel.
The Grand Panjandrum
@SrirachaHotSauce: Yeah. I’m with you on that. I missed most of the fun and have little desire to trade insults with someone whose mind will never be changed anyway. If I want degradation and denunciation I can just spam all of John’s threads with some meaningless BS and get the famous Cole smackdown.
Litlebritdifrnt
Hey John – I ate my first home grown tomato this weekend, right out there in the garden (after a quick wipe down on the t-shirt to make sure it was “cleanish”) It was awesome. So there.
Gordon, The Big Express Engine
@Punchy: He’s on Bloodshot Records. Great label. They do a bunch of great showcases every year at SXSW. Pretty sure I have seen Split Lip… The sunshine and free beer makes it all blend together though…
peach flavored shampoo
@blahblahblah: Reading causes insomnia, she says? Yikes.
SrirachaHotSauce
@blahblahblah:
Normally, we ask for a picture in these situations.
In this case, two pictures, yours and hers. These will be reviewed by the central committee.
Thanks.
Johnny B. Guud
@Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse: Thanks a bunch—-interesting video—and what a voice…
I’ve listened to most of their latest album…good stuff.
A first time for everything I guess…..thanks again…
Punchy
@Incertus: Yeah, it’s a gas tank. They lost their lead man 2 years ago to sickenly aggressive throat cancer, went on a 8-9 month hiatus/mourning, then returned and dedicate each show to him. Their shows are just insane to watch, but since pretty much everyone knows all the lyrics, so I’m guessing things are pretty crazy from their point of view as well.
Gordon, The Big Express Engine
@Gordon, The Big Express Engine: I meant to say “they” instead of he. They are awesome. They were regualrs at the Yard Dog party at SXSW
@Incertus – that’s was them! I think when I saw them though, the bass was a section of an oil drum with a single string or something like that.
R-Jud
@Johnny B. Guud:
They are Glaswegians, like Belle and Sebastian, and Stuart Murdoch of B&S has done some arrangements for them. (Stuart also has a new project out called God Help the Girl— he wants to create a latter-day Motown in Glasgow, which is… interesting.) They do some lovely stuff, I like “Let’s Get Out of This Country” best so far. And extended exposure to Camera Obscura’s brand of retro-pop doesn’t overwhelm my pancreas, which is more than can be said for most B&S.
Persia
@blahblahblah: She’s right about the insomnia thing but clearly you’re driving each other nuts. You’re doing both of you a favor.
blahblahblah
Peach Flavored Shampoo
Yup. According to her reading and working in bed causes crossed associations between sleep and sex with the anxiety of work. Which may well be the case with her. Fine, I’m not interested in directing her personal interests, whether in or out of the bed.
She doesn’t like it when I wear sunglasses. She doesn’t like it when I offer to pay the evening dinner bill. She doesn’t like it when I don’t offer to pay the evening dinner bill. She dislikes that I have a television in my bedroom and wants me to throw it away. She thinks I do too much laundry and clean the house too much (Christ, a woman who hates that a man keeps a clean house!?!).
There is no solution to this. She won’t be reasonable about setting fair boundaries and keeping to them. I do not encroach upon her private business in this way. I expect the same back from her. Four fucking months and she’s decided who I will work for, what level of schooling I am to complete, right down to what type of sunglasses I’m allowed to wear and when.
Fuck her.
Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse
I still love If Looks Could Kill. Yes, as R-Jud says, retro without being twee and saccharine. I love B&S, but I’m Canadian and have both socialized medicine and ready access to insulin.
Oohh — the title track!
gbear
@blahblahblah:
Four months. OK, now I’m ccurious. Have you only known each other for four months, or is that how long you’ve been living together? Either way, it sounds like it was impulsive decision that’s not playing out well and you’re both feeling miserable about it.
blahblahblah
We’re not living together. She owns a condo a few miles away from the house that I own.
blahblahblah
@gbear
We’re not living together. She owns a condo a few miles away from the house that I own.
Brick Oven Bill
Dear blahblahblah;
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
This is probably a good move. Many Western women who go to college start believing what they are taught, and this messes them up. One potential cure is to yell at her in a highly critical, but brutally honest way. There is a man who did this and it turned his American wife around.
But for many Western women, it is too late, and they cannot be helped. As a single male with a good income, the last thing you want is to end up in one of these contests. Consider purchasing a plane ticket to the Republic of Georgia. You will find these women to make much better Nikah material.
These women are thin and one attractive female reporter from this region, after getting hit by Russian small arms fire, commented that it was only a small caliber bullet and kept reporting. This was particularly impressive as the round was likely a 7.62-39.
Your American girl friend can find food in the dumpster behind Kentucky Fried Chicken in ten years.
And Allah knows best
Wassalamu Alaikum
BOB
Face
Unpossible that a chick said this.
Johnny B. Guud
@R-Jud: Thanks. Never been a big Belle and Sebastian fan, but I’ve been getting into the Euro retro-pop thing. Im a sucker for a great melody and coupled with some good singing chops—can’t go wrong.
@Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse:
Good tune—thnx for the link.
Whenever I ask people about Euro retro/indie pop, I always get Phoenix as a response….
R-Jud
@Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse:
Off the back of this sub-thread I looked up Stuart Murdoch and was floored to learn he’s straight. I have been laboring under a misapprehension on that score for years.
@ Johnny B: “Im a sucker for a great melody and coupled with some good singing chops”… Which SM lacks. His range is like an octave and a half, maybe. But he can write lovely tunes.
Brick Oven Bill
Bad Link Correction: one of these contests. You need to read this.
And Allah still knows best;
BOB
SGEW
@Brick Oven Bill:
Whoa. How deep into the rabbit hole are we when I can’t tell if a commenter is for real or a troll or a spoof troll or a spoof of a spoof troll or even a spoof troll spoofing himself?
[btw “spoof” is an awfully funny word]
In any event, that is a seriously fucked up comment.
A Ghost To Most
In other news, wingers ginning up boycott of Government Motors:
autoblog
detroit bureau
Oh, and Body Oven Bilbous: GFY
Ash Can
::reads blahblahblah::
::reads BOB’s reply::
OK, we’re getting snowed here. Blah and BOB are the same person and this is Performance Art Theater, right? Man alive. Top-notch entertainment, and it’s not even lunch time yet. I love this site.
Death By Mosquito Truck
The latest Democratic primary poll numbers in Virginia show Creigh Deeds beating Terry MaAuliffe by 12 points so I’ll be hoping that’s actually the case while casting my vote for Creigh Deeds in tomorrow’s primary.
If you live in Virginia you need to vote for Creigh Deeds tomorrow.
blahblahblah
@Brick Oven Bill
Horrible link. Horrible people. Terrible implied advice.
I don’t want a female slave and I’m not interesting in bossing women around. But neither am I willing to be emasculated in a submissive relationship either. I’m not Alpha nor am I Beta. That’s an altogether different kind of rigid black-and-white thinking I’d rather avoid. Frankly, it’s not much different from what she espouses.
djork
Actually, that’s their third CD.
Camera Obscura is great. I agree with whomever said upthread that they’re like Belle and Sebastian, but not as pancreas overwhelming.
Mrs Tilton
A week or two ago there was a thread about lacrosse, and I mentioned that my son plays for a German club. The three readers not bored to tears by lacrosse might be interested to hear that his team came in third in the German youth championships yesterday. 4:7 over Stuttgart with my son, I am too proud not boast, scoring four of our seven goals. The slick wet grass was the best defender, robbing both teams of what would otherwise likely have been sure things. The boys had been told they’d be playing on artificial turf and hence to bring ordinary trainers only. The sport is young over here, but organization of the sport is in its infancy….
And our daughter, new to the sport, played as well. The girls’ game is too embryonic for official competition yet, so there were round-robin friendlies among the three teams that came. And she put the ball into the net twice! Goals disallowed, sadly; she’s going to have to work on keeping out of the crease.
gex
@A Ghost To Most: So, with the government involved in nearly all of the American manufacturers is the new mantra “Buy Foreign”?
gbear
@gex: win
The Moar You Know
@blahblahblah: She’s probably cheating on you anyway.
Women who pop up with an absurd list of demands like those, only four months into a relationship, are usually just looking for an excuse to get out.
My advice: get the drop on her and fuck her younger, cuter sister first.
Persia
@blahblahblah: Yeah, I think you just need to pull the ‘this isn’t working out’ card. Then post on Craigslist with the headline “MY LAST GIRLFRIEND THOUGHT I CLEANED TOO MUCH” and you’ll have your Saturday nights booked for the rest of your life. ;-)
Gordon, The Big Express Engine
@Ash Can: Ha! After blahblahblah’s first post, I started typing an email that basically said that all it needed was some references to electric trains and oil shale…
But I got distracted and never hit send on it…
South of I-10
@blahblahblah: Sounds like you are definitely done. Who wouldn’t like a man who cleans?
The Moar You Know
@Face: My last two girlfriends have bitched about it as well. The first time I was stunned. Now I’m just resigned. Women are weird.
@Brick Oven Bill: You win the thread, as always.
just visiting
blah, of course you shouldn’t be with this woman. What’s a little disconcerting is the level of anger in your posts – 4 months is amazingly fast to get this far into disfunction. Your anger tells me that this has been going on for longer than it ought.
Come to think of it, what the fuck are you guys doing talking about your future offspring at 4 months anyway?
Next time, take it slower, eh?
Fulcanelli
@blahblahblah: Sounds like there’s serious control issues on her part bubbling to the surface… like a feminine Yellowstone. If these are showing up to this extent after only four months, there’s lots more beneath the surface.
Eject from the cockpit. Or learn to like the taste of boiled rabbit.
Betsy
I’m going to get my first farmshare box this week! Yay, fresh local organic veggies! I will be so happy.
smiley
Balloon Juice : The place to turn for dating advise. Who knew?
Bill H
@peach flavored shampoo:
Well, there’s this theory that one should not do anything in bed other than sleep, then bed becomes “the place for sleep” which leads to better sleeping habits.
Of course, that leaves out one other bedtime activity, but… It doesn’t sound like he’s getting much of that activity anyway, so it would appear that is irrelevant.
Laura W
@Persia:
Best advice I’ve seen here in weeks. Including Dog and Coffee advice.
gex
@The Moar You Know: Damn these women who complain about men who clean. What is wrong with them?
chuck
Four MONTHS and she’s like this? Dump her ass, seriously.
You’re not living with her, so don’t bother with the speech. Just get your key back — no, scratch that, get your locks changed anyway.
Persia
@gex: Talk about ruining it for the rest of us. You think he’s too picky? Go take a walk while he vacuums. Read a book.
Betsy
@gex:
Jesus, talk about a good problem to have. A man who cleans too much? That’s up there with not having enough room in the garage for all your Bentleys.
AhabTRuler
@chuck:
I recommend claymores under the windows and downspouts (added benefit: cuts down on the squirrel problem – hope you’re a heavy sleeper).
katiemc
@Brick Oven Bill: ok i gotta say this cracked me up….lololol
Bruuuuce
Judge Sotomayor fractured her ankle today, slipping at LaGuardia Airport on the way back to Washington.
How long before some idiot calls this proof that she’s not qualified, or even says it proves she’s a racist? :-P
R-Jud
Jesus, blahblahblah, she’s upset because you clean? If you were seriously OCD and had to ritualistically vacuum four times an hour while also striping the carpet at a precise angle so as to prevent the lizard people from raping your mom, I’d understand. But in general? No way. When my husband cleans something, I make a point of at least saying, “Hey, thanks, that looks great.”
As Mr. Savage says, DTMFA.
TenguPhule
I have $10 on Divine providence proving she should not be nominated.
TenguPhule
Isn’t this what got you into that mess in the first place?
4tehlulz
Something to keep in mind when some ignorant fuck blames CRA for the mortgage meltdown:
Affidavists On How Wells Fargo Gave “Ghetto Loans” To “Mud People”
Are Wells Fargo and Resist.org run by the same people? Jesus Christ.
Ash Wing League
From Instaputz:
Ann Althouse has a ‘caption this’ thread with an image of Michelle Obama. The comments from her readers show that conservatives can in fact move past their hatr- oh, who the fuck am I kidding…
And so forth.
Something tells me that the chuckleheads on the other side still don’t really understand why their party has fallen out of favor.
Blue Raven
@blahblahblah:
I know of people who are in 24/7 BDSM relationships and don’t exercise that much control over their slave.
‘Nuff said.
Cain
I’d like to follow the Iranian election it looks really exciting. I have a friend of mine who is working hard to get more youths to vote. Any chance of that?
cain
AhabTRuler
Yeah, I didn’t read close enough. Now I think I’m not kidding about the Claymore mines.
Run. Run now! Run fast, and don’t stop running til you are freeeeeee!
Hob
Jeez, blahblahblah — if everything you say is literally true, then that lady sounds like bad news, but honestly, so do you. It’s just kind of weird and disturbing to see someone venting that much personal anger about someone else to a bunch of strangers on a blog. You two don’t get along, okay, yeah, probably should break up. But if the worst example you can find of “being overly critical” is that she doesn’t like you bringing homework to bed, and you’re so determined to make sure we all know what an insane bitch she is that you have to rehash tiny details of arguments where we can’t possibly know what the hell you’re talking about… and all from a four-month relationship… you’re not really doing a great job of sounding like a decent but put-upon guy. It’s obsessive mean drunk talk. Once you start telling those stories, you pretty much have to leave out everything that might risk making her sound human, because otherwise we wouldn’t fully understand how righteously angry you are… and that way lies madness. I know this from experience.
I mean, you may well be a decent guy, but indulging in this kind of poisonous shit is bad for you.
Wile E. Quixote
If you haven’t downloaded the pilot episode of Glee yet or watched it online at Fox or Hulu then please do so. I can’t wait for Glee to start this fall, every performance is a joy, especially Jane Lynch as the power-hungry asshole coach of an award-winning high-school cheerleading team. I had heard good things about the show so I downloaded it and I knew that those people were right once I heard Jane Lynch utter the opening line at a cheerleading practice session.
And once I heard the line
I was hooked.
blahblahblah
@Hob
Oh, I’m definitely pissed. And I certainly can’t give you an objective view of a relationship problem I’m currently facing right now. But that is the situation as I see it.
As for anonymously using an open thread on balloon-juice to vent, I can’t imagine a better place. Other than a shrink’s couch, that is.
Krista
Exactly. Some people do take it too far and are such obsessive neat freaks that everybody feels uncomfortable visiting them. I wouldn’t want to be with a guy who has a shit fit if I don’t put my coffee cup in the dishwasher the second I’m done with it, or if I fold the towels the wrong way.
But if you just like keeping a clean place, and aren’t obsessive or super-uptight about it, then I don’t see what the problem is.
Hob
@blahblahblah: For venting in general, yeah. I just mean there’s a kind of venting where you can talk yourself into being even angrier, especially when you’re trying to get it across to strangers– and once you’re in a bad relationship and you’re fighting, there’s an endless supply of petty things, like the sunglasses or whatever, that you can feed that with. So then you lay it all out at the bar, and people tell you “Oh man, what a bitch, she even criticized your sunglasses”, etc. But all those things boil down to is just that you’re both unhappy and you’ve been fighting. People who aren’t insane control freaks, when they’re unhappy, will still say petty annoying shit about your glasses or whatever. And people who are unhappy will also take huge personal offense at petty annoying shit. I guarantee that for every one of your stories, she has an equally convincing version based on the worst interpretation of something you said. I also guarantee that any good relationship you have will require both of you to put up with way more unreasonable shit than any of that.
You’re doing no one any favors by making it into a story about a crazy devil woman — save that for the one who really has power over you and does real bad things.
blahblahblah
@Hob
You might want to ask her about that then. Perhaps then you could find the ‘objective truth’ and know which claim of mine is reasonable and which is not in context. Obviously, I can’t offer that for you.
@Krista:
I hire someone to clean the place twice a month. Once a week I do ‘touch ups’ around the kitchen and bathroom. I do a few loads of dishes and laundry a week. I tend to focus on kitchen countertops, the stove, and the bathroom. Typically, there is a mound of old magazines and books beside my bed and couch, there are piles of old papers and work on my desk, and perhaps some misplaced clothes in and around my hamper. I’m not OCD about it. There’s no ‘place’ for every little thing in the house. I just happen to hate a disgusting kitchen and bathroom.
She’s pretty messy. But there is an age difference, she’s 30 and I’m 41. I’ve been on my own longer and have already gone through the living in a pigsty portion of my life.
Thanks to everyone for advice, snark, and just about everything else.
Krista
That sounds extremely reasonable to me, FWIW.
asiangrrlMN
@blahblahblah: I gotta say, I’m with Hob and just visiting on this one. You sound way too angry for the situation and for dating this woman for only four months. From your descriptions, I have no idea why you are with her or vice-versa. Just dump her and move on.
P.S. The theory of the bed being only for sleeping and sex has been around for sometime, so your girlfriend has a basis there. That’s besides the point, though. You two are toxic for each other, clearly.
P.P.S. The thread that got truncated WAS NOT about abortion. It was about Obama expanding the war in Afghanistan. Just wanted to clear that up.
P.P.P.S. Devon, way to go! What an accomplishment.
Origuy
I read this and didn’t think about explosives–I wondered why you would put a four-foot-long broadsword under a window.
Hob
@blahblahblah: I’m not taking sides about the objective truth– that would be ridiculous, how should I know? I’m just saying that whether you’re just venting or really looking for some feedback on how to handle this, there’s less than zero point in listing stuff like “she doesn’t like it when I wear sunglasses” or “she told me I shouldn’t read in bed,” because it’s not like anyone can tell the difference between good girlfriend and bad girlfriend by how many of those things there are. There’s an infinite number of those things about anyone, if you’re already mad at each other (case in point, in your story that ends “I can’t afford it anyway”, you’re even mad at her for not continuing an argument, because you didn’t get to prove that you were right?!)… and if you’re not, then those things don’t matter. If there’s something else bad about the way she said those things, OK, you would know. But if you get it in your head that anyone who has unasked-for opinions is a nut who’s trying to control your life, like I said, that way lies madness… and the way you’re telling these stories really makes it sound that way. Anyway, no more from me.
blahblah
@Hob
Thanks for your advice and input. The issue with all those examples of her interference in my personal choices was to point out that they were petty and had no direct impact on her. She simply decided that I had to change my life to meet her expectations about irrelevant non-issues.
As for the debate about whether a certain university will or will not allow for matriculations (EDIT: from adults taking individual classes), actually, I wanted the hell out of that discussion. I didn’t initiate it, and I didn’t want it to continue once it started. Which is why I suggested she contact the Registrar’s office rather than continue debating the point.
Look, I’m pissed because I’ve invested some time and energy into a relationship with a woman I cared (and still care) for. These actions – to me – represent violations of my autonomy and humanity. To me, her behavior here is dehumanizing and represents a power struggle rather than resolving issues important to a successful relationship. She just wants control. Over every single little thing.
And that pisses me off. Because it is not honest nor is it equitable. I made it clear to her early on in the relationship that I did not want power plays and I would be willing to compromise over important issues in our relationship. Which she – in my opinion – violated by this conduct.
And then to demand that I uproot my career to work for someone else and quit night school so she can quit her job, have children, and go to school to finish a Ph.D is so outrageous that I blew up. Here. I did not blow up at her. Instead, I simply told her “no.” Whereupon she said that she wasn’t sure I was “being serious” about raising children. I told her that we should discuss this in person (it was a phone call). She got angry and hung up.
Now it’s time for me to take care of this problem. I’m going to break up with her. Then I’ll take a break from dating women for a couple months. In time I’ll find another Friday night date. With someone else. Anybody else.
I’m not a fucking floormat.