Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

The republican caucus is already covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

“woke” is the new caravan.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

When do the post office & the dmv weigh in on the wuhan virus?

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

This blog will pay for itself.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

We are aware of all internet traditions.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

Everybody saw this coming.

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Reader Interactions

72Comments

  2. 2.

    John Cole

    Taking her to the vet at 4:45 today. If she gets a clean bill of health (meaning, anything that will not impact Tunch), then it is a go.

  3. 3.

    Laura W

    Here’s a fun weekend in July that may be of interest to people who live near Western NC (ATL and SC, I’m looking at you!) Telluride Mountain Film Festival will be on tour in Cashiers, NC, July 10-11.

    Different outdoor/adventure/human interest short films both nights; great food, wine and beer both nights for the full ticket price – some $10 tickets available for those who want to come in at 8 for the music and the films at 9. Hopefully no rain so it can all happen outside in a lovely sloped park that sits above the Cashiers Crossroads. Tickets available online.

  4. 4.

    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse

    Wheee!!!! Hope everything goes well for the little sweetie.

  7. 7.

    John Cole

    @Laura W: If she gets a clean bill, I will probably just take her home tonight. I haven’t bought all the supplies and crate yet, but I guess I can take care of that tomorrow.

    First order of business will be a bath. She stinks.

  8. 8.

    gbear

    1) TBogg does a good ‘shorter’ smackdown of Ross Douthat’s NYT column. John has the TBogg link (I’m at work).

    2) At the risk of raising JC’s ire, Rachel had a good segment about DADT that makes it pretty clear why the GLBT community is annoyed with Obama. A lot of promises kind of slipped his mind.

  9. 9.

    Laura W

    @John Cole: Your vet might have a crate to lend you.
    Wear clothes when bathing her. You know how that could look if the unimaginable happens. People would start to imagine.

  10. 10.

    SGEW

    First order of business will be a bath.

    Just be careful in the tub. We don’t want to see another . . . incident, now do we?

  11. 11.

    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse

    Can’t Tunch bathe her? He must have a pretty damn strong tongue after taking care of His Tunchness for so many years. Just pour a little tuna water on her to get him started. Plus — bonding!

  12. 12.

    Max

    @John Cole: Not sure the resources where you live, but if you can find a self-serve dog wash place, your back will thank you.

    Imagine a chest high tub, with a self-serve car wash type system, where you turn the dial for warm water rinse, pick your shampoo and then there is a dryer.

    Cost is $15 in the Bay Area (Pet Food Express), so I’m sure it is cheaper in your neck o’ the woods.

  13. 13.

    Laura W

    @The Grand Panjandrum:

    Whose turn is it to monitor John’s blood pressure?

    With any luck, Lily’s. John has to keep it together for her sake. No yelling, no throwing stuff, no punching pillows in their necks, no loud, obnoxious heavy metal.
    See how good this little girl is gonna be for him?

  14. 14.

    gbear

    @Max:

    Outside of CA, wouldn’t a self-service dog wash come under the heading of ‘rain’ or ‘lake’?

  15. 15.

    The Saff

    Fingers crossed for a good health vet report!

    Has Tunch been around dogs before? When my cat, Sherman, met the Wheaten Terror for the first time, he wasn’t happy (hissing, growling, fur fluffed up). However, it only took him all of two hours to realize he could buy and sell the dog.

  17. 17.

    jrg

    Jon Voight is a douche.

    How can Obama be a “false prophet” if he never claimed to be a “prophet” in the first place? More importantly, is the GOP ever going to argue issues based on the “merit” of Republican ideas, rather than lying and putting words into people’s mouths? And where the fuck was this lunatic when W. was saying: “I trust God speaks through me. Without that, I couldn’t do my job.”

    I’m really sick of this crap. All these useless, theocratic Republican shitbirds can go die in a fire.

  18. 18.

    Max

    @The Saff: I have a wheaten too! Aren’t they the best?

    When I got him, the vet told me to brace myself for the thousands of times I’ll be asked “what kind of dog is that”. He wasn’t wrong.

    @gbear – hardy har har. Does rain in your parts come in Mango Tango?

  20. 20.

    SGEW

    Does rain in your parts come in Mango Tango?

    Yes, but I blame that on the Superfund cleanup site I live near.

  21. 21.

    Punchy

    Dog story from yesterday — took the 2 greys to the dogpark. In for about 30 secs, and unleashed. The hyper one mistakes a small brown Yorky all the way across the park for a rabbit, and bolts. 35-40 mph and unstoppable. For about 10 seconds, I’m trying to figure out how pay for the lawyer I’ll need just as soon as I get sued for my dog eating someone else’s. Luckily, she completely overruns the Yorky and on the double-back, realizes it has teeth and barks and is probably not a rabbit, so crisis averted.

    But god DAMN those dogs are fast and hard-wired to run at the slightest movement.

  24. 24.

    R-Jud

    @Punchy:

    The hyper one mistakes a small brown Yorky all the way across the park for a rabbit,

    When my husband was a teenager, he took the family Yorkie out for a walk. A larger dog apparently thought it was a rodent, picked it up in its mouth, and shot off into a wooded area. Mr Jud was able to get the dog back eventually, but not until after an unscheduled cross-country run.

  25. 25.

    lilysmom

    So John, I’m guessing that you ended up naming her Lily. I missed the end of that thread, sorry. She looked so fragile and gentle in the photo. Lily is a great name for her.

    I hope that your Lily is as good for you as my Lily has been for me and my husband. My Lily is a 15 lb. tortie cat who has a great big kind heart. She brings her strings and stuffed mousies to guests as presents. She started out a terrified shelter kitten and has grown up into a total lovebug.

    Your Lily was really lucky when she found you. Best wishes.

  26. 26.

    Cat Lady

    @jrg:

    A-fuckin-men.

    I will never understand this ability righttards have of acting like the world began on Jan. 20th, and everything they and their codpiece commander did and said before then is lost in the mists of time. No wonder Angelina Jolie has no relationship with her father – what a total embarassing fucktard.

  28. 28.

    Krista

    Outside of CA, wouldn’t a self-service dog wash come under the heading of ‘rain’ or ‘lake’?

    Sheltered, aren’t you? ;) They have those in Halifax, too, which is great for apartment dwellers, or those who may have mobility issues that make it hard for them to stoop over to bathe their dog.

    Of course Dreyfus, being kind of weird, would just beg to get in the shower with me. I tell you, a Lhasa’s fur looks pretty awesome when you use Bain de Terre on it.

  29. 29.

    The Saff

    @Max: Don’t know if your Wheaten is like ours (my husband’s actually), but he’s sort of a space cadet and quite neurotic. He wigs out at thunderstorms, fireworks, the home alarm system, and the smoke detector when the battery dies and beeps.

    He’s good with other dogs and is totally submissive to the cats. He has a menacing bark but he’s the biggest wuss. He’s now on a raw food diet because of skin allergies.

    Overall, he’s a pretty good dog.

    @Punchy. Love the story! Greyhounds are wonderful dogs.

  30. 30.

    gex

    My first order of business with Casey was to clicker train him to going into the bath tub on command. It is worth it. Whenever you come home with a yucky dog you can send her up to the tub. I recommend it.

  31. 31.

    gex

    @Laura W: This is no lie. My dog has had a real positive effect on my life and health in a way my cats aren’t. It’s the keeping to a schedule and walking twice a day.

  32. 32.

    The Saff

    @lilysmom: Your tortie sounds like an angel. Aren’t they just gorgeous? And smart.

    I have a 14 lb. tortie named Natalie. I tell her she’s like Michigan J. Frog because my husband and I are the only ones who know how sweet and wonderful she is. If anyone comes over, she hides under the big bed.

    She lays by her cat dancer toy as if to say, “I’d like to chase my toy now. Please make it move and I will go after it.” And she prefers to drink water from the water fountain at the kitchen sink.

    She’s the only one of our 3 cats who is NOT submissive to the Wheaten Terror. She’s cautious and dismissive.

  34. 34.

    zirconium

    You’re doing a good thing John, getting that dog.

    I got another cat from a shelter last summer. He was in a cage for 6 months before I took him home and was probably going to die there. Four different people brought him home but returned him. Then I got him. No one wanted him since he’s kind of old, maybe 10 or more years. He’s one of the nicest, friendliest cats I ever had. I sent John a photo of him drinking water out of the (clean) toilet, a habit he came with, but he hasn’t post it. Hey, he asked for photos of pets in compromising positions.

  35. 35.

    SLKRR

    @gbear:

    Outside of CA, wouldn’t a self-service dog wash come under the heading of ‘rain’ or ‘lake’?

    I believe the proper term for it is “hose.”

  36. 36.

    Max

    @The Saff: Fortunately for me (skin allergies are a nightmare), Max is none of those things. He doesn’t even twitch during a nearly 5.0 earthquake in NorCal. However, 4th of July does merit a preventative Benadryl.

  37. 37.

    The Moar You Know

    @zirconium: I’m on my second elder cat adoption. It’s hard as they don’t last that long, but you get the satisfaction of giving them a good home while they’re around – and they are grateful for it. I’ve never had more loyal or devoted pets than my elder kitties.

  38. 38.

    harlana pepper

    @lilysmom: You are so lucky. My tortie was a shelter kitty and was the most precious lil kitten you ever saw. Something happened to her, however, and she is now decidely anti-social. I have to pre-warn guests to ignore her deceitful rubbings against the leg. “It’s a trap, don’t try to pet her no matter how sweet she seems.” I realize she is just marking them – if they try to reach down and pet her, they are rewarded with a hard paw swipe and possibly a bite.

    And all I ever really wanted was a nice orange tabby boy kitty with a sweet disposition. (sigh)

  39. 39.

    lilysmom

    @The Saff:

    Natalie sounds really terrific. Our babies have their own personalities.

    Yes, Lily is an angel. She would fetch thrown mousies like a dog until she turned 4. Now it is beneath her dignity… most of the time.

    Torties are just special. Smart, possessive, fearless and loving.

    I love dogs, too. I grew up with dogs, but our lifestyle doesn’t allow for a dog, right now.

  40. 40.

    Cris

    I was really hoping for an open thread so I could tell you guys about this ridiculous thing Sarah Palin did at a church in the small town in Kansas where I live, but then I remembered it was all just a dream I had last night. I don’t even live in Kansas anymore.

  41. 41.

    lilysmom

    @harlana pepper:

    So sorry about the change. She has decided that you belong to her alone, and if the guests can’t bring her an offering and acknowledge her fabulousness, then they just need to p!$$ off and leave. Ah, well.

    Harlana, I always enjoy your posts

  42. 42.

    Krista

    John gets a puppy! YAYZ!

    Seconded! That’s really exciting John. She seems like such a sweetie, who needs to much love and care, and I don’t think she could have found a better rescuer. Prepare to receive a lot of love in return — a lot of rescue dogs are like little sponges, just soaking up any scrap of affection. And they return it tenfold, becoming absurdly devoted.

  43. 43.

    JK

    John,

    I’d love to hear your thoughts concerning the death of music legend and icon Kenny Rankin.

  44. 44.

    TenguPhule

    Busy busy busy.

    Obviously you need a procrastinator.

    For is it not written, “Because”?

  45. 45.

    Krista

    He doesn’t even twitch during a nearly 5.0 earthquake in NorCal. However, 4th of July does merit a preventative Benadryl.

    Aww…I love Wheatens. They’re just so damn happy about everything. I know what you mean about the fireworks, though. My MIL’s Airedale is a sweet, gentle clown, but is terrified of thunderstorms and fireworks. Last Canada Day, she crated him so that he wouldn’t tear the house apart. He tore the metal crate apart instead, he was so crazed.

  46. 46.

    JK

    @jrg:

    Jon Voight gave great, compelling performances in Midnight Cowboy, Deliverance, Catch-22 and Seinfeld, but when it comes to his personal politics he’s out of his goddamn mind. Not only has he launched deranged and delusional attacks against Obama he has also claimed that Rudy Giuliani was an angel sent by God.

  48. 48.

    Punchy

    I’ve just experienced golf ball-sized hail for the first time in my life. Holy fuck is that scary. Sounds like someone taking a hammer to the roof of the car.

  49. 49.

    blahblahblah

    @Hob:

    You were right. I over-reacted yesterday and used the forum to seek out affirmation over a personal issue no one here could have honestly provided. But it took some cooling down time to reach that conclusion by myself. Anyway, Mea Culpa.

  51. 51.

    gbear

    @Krista:

    Sheltered, aren’t you? ;)

    I googled ‘Twin Cities Dog Wash’ and nothing came up. Apparently we’re really behind the canine care curve up here.

    I’ll join the torte chorus. I’ve got two: Josie and Halley. It will be a long time until I’m good enough for them.

    Hoping all is going well with John and the new pup today. Pictures Of Lily!

  52. 52.

    AhabTRuler

    OK, now with the Evony ads, we are getting more almost bewbz, not less. Next, L-dub is going to post a suggestive mosaic of her ta-tas.

  53. 53.

    Anne Laurie

    Imagine a chest high tub, with a self-serve car wash type system, where you turn the dial for warm water rinse, pick your shampoo and then there is a dryer.

    Those of us with small dogs call it a “kitchen sink”. The switchable hose head on our faucet is for rinsing dogs more than dishes :)

  54. 54.

    Laura W

    @AhabTRuler: I asked you not to spoil the surprise series of birthday ads I have planned for a certain blogger who shall remain nameless.
    See if I ever trust you with my ta-tas again.

  56. 56.

    Krista

    Those of us with small dogs call it a “kitchen sink”. The switchable hose head on our faucet is for rinsing dogs more than dishes :)

    Laundry tubs are good for that too, but yeah, your dog needs to be small enough to lift easily. I installed a flexible shower nozzle on mine, and it was perfect for bathing the pooch (until he started with his habit of wanting to hop in the shower with me.)

    @blahblahblah:

    You were right. I over-reacted yesterday and used the forum to seek out affirmation over a personal issue no one here could have honestly provided.

    Don’t be too hard on yourself — a lot of us here have used this blog as a sounding board for our own personal stuff. Hell, once the husband and I have a shortlist for baby names, I fully intend on running it past the rabble here.

  57. 57.

    TenguPhule

    I’ve placed my ta-tas in a blind trust.

    So he has to read them by braille?

  59. 59.

    The Other Steve

    @gbear: You gotta get out into duck hunting territory. They have places you can wash your dog when you’re coming back from hunting.

    This ain’t a city slicker thing, which is why you won’t find one here in the twin cities.

  60. 60.

    Krista

    @AhabTRuler: I asked you not to spoil the surprise series of birthday ads I have planned for a certain blogger who shall remain nameless.

    That’d be a hell of a fundraiser for John’s next bleg — the more money raised, the more pics of female commenters’ boobies are revealed.

  61. 61.

    Face

    Question for John, Doug, or anyone (serious). This was a topic of conversation this past weekend:

    What does Markos make in salary from his website? I mean after server costs, paying (if he does) his front-pagers, his overhead, electricity, etc. I guessed 7 figures, others said not even 6 figures. We were 10-fold in disagreement, and noone had even a ballpark way to estimate.

    Does anyone know, or at least have a ballpark estimate?

  62. 62.

    TenguPhule

    That’d be a hell of a fundraiser for John’s next bleg—the more money raised, the more pics of female commenters’ boobies are revealed.

    Didn’t I already see this on Major League?

  63. 63.

    Ash Can

    @Krista:

    Read a good article on Babble this morning about Dr. Tiller.

    You’re not going to like this. Nobody here will, in fact. And I do hate to be the bearer of bad news. But it’s important, and you’re going to see this sooner or later: Dr. Tiller’s clinic to close permanently (h/t GOS).

    This isn’t particularly surprising, I suppose, but it’s nonetheless tragic. The terrorists have won, and we as a nation have allowed them to win. All the right-wingers who were wailing before the election that Obama wouldn’t be able to stop a terrorist attack, it turns out they were right. Not that I think he personally could have prevented it, mind you. Obviously, no president or Congress or political party could have prevented it, at least not directly. But it’s a terrible irony in this whole horrible situation.

  64. 64.

    Laura W

    @AhabTRuler: That is nearly as stunning as Nemesis, which I pulled off flickr in two sizes and have on my desktop for future printing attempts.
    Shoot. I should just make it my desktop photo. Doh. Or maybe this one.
    Sick to death of my own animals. I’m gonna stare at yours for a while.
    Oh yeah, as Stephen Colbert would say: I accept your apology.

  65. 65.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Ash Can: Yeah, I saw that. I don’t know what to say. Damn.

    On a lighter note, I am torn as to whether I should watch the hockey game tonight. The Pens lost the three games I watched. Now, granted, they were all in Dee-troit, but still.

    On an even lighter note, it would be hilarious to have a guess the ta-tas.

  68. 68.

    Krista

    Only when it’s cold. Like today. (June in Canada. It’s mythical.

    It IS cold today, isn’t it? It’ll probably be like last year, where we had two scorching weeks in July, with the rest of the summer being cool and rainy. Bah.

  69. 69.

    TenguPhule

    June in Canada. It’s mythical.

    Hah, try winter in Hawaii. We have to import our own snow. :P

  70. 70.

    AhabTRuler

    @TenguPhule: Duh. If you wanted winter, you wouldn’t be in Hawaii.

    Now my mother, who grew up in Puerto Rico and Chattanooga, TN, went to college in upstate NY (very near, but not at, DougJ’s current affiliation) to get her snow on. Mission accomplished!

  71. 71.

    The Saff

    @Krista: Horrid as we are, we have our own firecracker/fireworks show in the driveway on July 4th. Last year, we even had march music playing on the stereo. Of course, our lame little show culminated with “Stars and Stripes Forever.”

    Poor Danny Wheaten was beside himself in the house with all the noise outside. The cats were making fun of him.

  72. 72.

    D-Chance.

    Colbert in Iraq… pure genius.

    Calling the general “Shrek”? Having Obama throw out an “I wasn’t talking to you” punch line (and, btw, Obama in another ‘entertainment’ venue)?

    The whole program is WIN. Can’t wait to see the other three episodes this week.

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