Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

T R E 4 5 O N

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

After roe, women are no longer free.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

The GOP is a fucking disgrace.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Not all heroes wear capes.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

Peak wingnut was a lie.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

They love authoritarianism, but only when they get to be the authoritarians.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Wet Dog and a Shrill Cat

Reader Interactions

103Comments

  4. 4.

    Ramalamadingdong

    And home will never be the same again. Why is she wet? Did you go to the vet?

  6. 6.

    asiangrrlMN

    It might be good to separate them at first. I know that’s the advice for bringing a new cat into the home. At any rate, good for you, and good luck.

  9. 9.

    Politically Lost

    Ah, and so the adventure begins.

    I sincerely hope that Tunch does not decide to seek revenge upon you for upending his peaceful dog free world by becoming a feline urine dispenser.

    I have had that experience and it took well over a year for the cat to stop spraying on everything. The drapes looked like we had a flood about six inches deep around the house.

    Enjoy the joys of dog ownership. You will be walking her when you don’t want to because the guilt trip a dog can throw puts my wife’s guilt trip to shame.

  11. 11.

    Laura W

    No wonder the site wouldn’t load. We’re all sitting here refreshing refreshing refreshing!
    Don’t separate them. Let them just deal with each other and sort it out. You’ve got enough advice and new rules to worry about.
    You stay calm and loving…they’ll pick up the cues. Eventually.
    Welcome Home, Lily!

  13. 13.

    JenJen

    Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!

    I’m a little giddy for you and Lily, John! Woooohooooo!! And a special message for Tunch: It’ll be OK, buddy. It really will. Go hide for awhile, like my kitty Joey always does when I bring a new critter home. Come out on your own terms to kick some dog-ass later!

    Oh, and, umm…. hoping it’s just your ears that are bleeding?

  15. 15.

    Steve V

    I would get something waterproof to put on your bed, just in case Tunch decides to protest by peeing in inappropriate places.

  17. 17.

    Laura W

    @JenJen: I know! Me too! Heady stuff, huh? I feel all hyper and a bit manic suddenly, like I wanna bathe a dog or cat in the nude.

    Of course, part of my intoxication could be watching Jon Stewart rip into Blow and Mika on last night’s show.

  19. 19.

    gus

    You have disturbed the ways of the universe.

    Just ask the cat.

    I had a dog when I was growing up. My sister had a cat. When the dog chased the cat, the cat would get out in front, suddenly roll over, extend his legs with claws out and rake the dog’s belly as it ran over it.

    Poor dog never figured it out.

  20. 20.

    Mnemosyne

    If you haven’t already, make sure that Tunch has a place he can get to where Lily can’t follow him (a shelf, a cat tower, a bookcase, whatever). It will greatly reduce his stress level if he knows he can relax and she can’t get to him.

    You may think Tunch is too fat to jump but, believe me, a sufficiently motivated cat can jump pretty high.

  22. 22.

    Mnemosyne

    @Steve V:

    Interesting theory I came across: according to one British cat psychologist whose book I saw, many times the cat isn’t peeing/pooping on the bed as a protest. It’s trying to mix its scent with yours to warn off attackers. “Sure, I may look small, but just wait till you see my human! Then you’ll be sorry!”

  24. 24.

    Comrade Stuck

    I would check my sh oes in the morning and sweep the house for other Feline booby-traps.

  27. 27.

    JL

    Hilarious! A wet dog, pissed off cat and a owner bleeding chasing each other around the house. Hopefully John will include pictures of the scratches.

  28. 28.

    CaseyL

    On the one hand, I feel great sympathy for all three residents of Chez Balloon-Juice: Tunch, for his shock and outrage that John brought home another critter; Lily, for her confusion and outrage that she not only has to deal with a new and alien home, but also A BATH before she’s even unpacked her things; and John for trying to reassure the one, bathe the other, placate both, and (unsuccessfully, apparently) keep from getting slashed/bitten/hissed-and-or-growled-at….

    On the other hand, I’m envisioning the Hellzapoppin’ atmosphere that John’s house is right now, with animals running in all directions and John screaming at them that he loves them both equally, goddammit, and will kill them both equally, goddammit, and wherethehellaretheBandaids…. which makes me laugh uncontrollably.

    (Any and all) gods’ mercy on you, John.

  30. 30.

    JenJen

    @Laura W: Ha!! A few of my friends and I have been ending our sentences with “Brewed by Starbucks” for the last few days. :-)

    Yeah, we’re a super-fun crew, eh?

  32. 32.

    A la lanterne les aristos!

    Now *this* is the sort of blogging I expect from a website of this caliber.

    ::grabs popcorn::

  35. 35.

    Bey

    Congratulations! It may take awhile for everyone to settle down, but you knew that going in.

    Looking forward to reading the stories!

  36. 36.

    spudgun

    Hello, long-time lurker, first-time commenter – I finally gave in to the urge to post…

    HURRAH! Yay, you did it – good for you! I’m so happy for you and for your new doggie. Hope Tunch is cool about it.

    Cannot WAIT to see pix!

  39. 39.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    Yay John, I am gonna be wearing out my F5 key until we have pictures of the two of them together, nose to nose (or even nose to butt which is the best way to introduce them pick up cat stuff butt into dog nose, then stuff cat nose into dog butt job’s a good en)

  41. 41.

    patrick

    Before Fanny and Lucy, our current dog/cat duo, we had Bailey and Eureka.

    Bailey was a big, dumb, loyal, sweet Chesapeake Bay Retriever rescue, and Eureka (we found him) was a small, black tomcat who was somewhat a bully.

    The day we brought Bailey home was pretty memorable. Bailey came lumbering through the door, all happy and dumb and Eureka shrieked, leapt straight up into the air, did a back flip, landed, bowed up and stood his ground.

    Bailey just wanted to be friends.

    I’ve got pictures around here somewhere of the two of them snuggled up together in Bailey’s favorite chair, and Eureka is grooming/bathing Bailey’s ears.

    I still miss them both.

    I agree with LauraW. Don’t worry too much about separating them. Let them work it out for themselves – unless of course, Tunch tries to eat Lily. You might want to step in if that starts to happen.

  42. 42.

    linda

    oooh boy, if you thought tunch had an attitude before…

    you are a peach. and am so looking forward to the photos/stories as she (and tunch) settle in.

  43. 43.

    AhabTRuler

    @Laura W: Hej, I sent you a missive on your flicker acct. (I couldn’t remember your other acct. is with and I couldn’t be bothered to search the archives. ;-)
    Hej do.

  45. 45.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    PS) lets take a poll, raise your hands if you think that John’s cleaning fetish will if not go away, at least be diminished as a result of a goggy in the house?

  46. 46.

    Violet

    Yay! Can’t wait for the Lilycam! Congrats to all of you. And sympathies to Tunch, whose world has just been upended forever. Awww…

  49. 49.

    Laura W

    @AhabTRuler: I wrote back to your yahoo. Did you not get it? Check spam filter. Yahoo hates my ISP.
    Easy answer to why I love your filthy dirty windows is that they make mine look less disgusting.
    Well, not really, but I feel less ashamed of mine, let’s just say.

    Edit: John’s cleaning OCD goes to 11hundred. Total no brainer.

  50. 50.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    I think Tunch is going to enjoy having a dog to torment, my cats like nothing better than sitting on a bookcase somewhere and smacking one of the dogs on the head as they walk by, it is the cat version of “wack a mole”

  52. 52.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    @Laura W:

    Same reason that I love BBC America’s “How clean is your house” cause the before pics always make me think “hey my house isn’t so bad after all” in fact apart from the cobwebs (I hate to kill spiders) I think Kim and Aggie would probably say “you know this place isn’t that bad”. :)

  53. 53.

    Bad Horse's Filly

    @Laura W: Freakin’ Cancers

    That explains so much.

    Now I have to go back under the desk – another afternoon of tornados. Have I mentioned I live right next to the Rockies? Tornados are not exactly a norm here. I blame Al Gore. ;-)

  54. 54.

    Krista

    Hee hee…I’m picturing the chaos, and it’s absolutely delightful. I can’t wait to see pictures! John, you have to keep us all updated very, very regularly — we’re all pretty emotionally invested in this, as you can see.

  55. 55.

    mayim

    @Mnemosyne:

    Oh, my cat does the protest poop on the bed.

    First time she did it, when she was about 6 years old, I’d been out several long days in a row. She waited until I’d gotten home and was close enough to know she’d done it but not close enough to stop her :-(

    She had only done it a half dozen times or so since (she’ll be 21 in a few weekss) but she knows full well she’s conveying she’s pissed!

  56. 56.

    tripletee (formerly tBone)

    Pictures when the bleeding stops.

    Pictures? Eff that noise. Video or it didn’t happen.

    Did you include a SpotBot on your supplies list? If you have carpet, you’re going to want one.

  57. 57.

    dmsilev

    Reminds me a bit of this picture that my dad took when my parents were catsitting for my brother and his wife. My parents have a puppy…

    A few seconds after the picture was taken, the dog jumped the gate (“impressive and stupid at the same time” according to my mom), and some fairly chaotic moments ensued.

    -dms

  58. 58.

    oh really

    Dear Tunch,

    My condolences. It’s too late to fix things now. Obviously, you didn’t train “what’s his name” well enough. Live and learn.

    oh really

  60. 60.

    Annie

    Go Tunch GO!!!

    Can’t wait for the pictures. Particularly the ones Tunch takes….And, for Tunch’s new blog.

    Lily is the key. If she accepts that Tunch rules, the transition will go smoother. Submission at this point is critical.

    Saturday, I watched my friend’s cat walk over their dog, just because he could. After he did, the cat looked at me as if to say, “See, the dog knows who is boss!”

    I agree, Tunch needs a space all his own.

  61. 61.

    kid bitzer

    this sounds awesome. i’m so happy for you!

    and you have done a wonderful thing for lily. also for the other animals at the shelter–every animal that gets adopted reduces the pressure a little bit, and cheers up the shelter staff, too. win all around.

    so honest: which one weighs more, lily or tunch?

  63. 63.

    Cindy

    For ten years I bathed three doggies with a hand-held shower hose, in our walk-in shower. It worked out best for me to wear a bathing suit and have lots of towels on the floor all over the bathroom, and of course, the bathroom door securely SHUT. You only make that mistake once.

    It really was a hard physical chore, but it was their time to get clean and have someone talk with them real sweet and soft and tell them the whole time how nice they were and how they would love being clean. My doggies would kind of keep inching into the corner, so I would have to gently move them back into the middle of the space.

    The two boys had short hair, but Gracie the collie mix had classic wool underneath her fine pretty hair, and it took FOREVER to even get her wet, and then FOREVER again to get her soaped and rinsed. She just felt bad for me that I was so obsessively nuts.

  65. 65.

    SGEW

    Whoever put up th’ Project Wonderful ad for Lily deserves a gold star.

    Gold star for you!

  66. 66.

    geg6

    Squeeeeeeaaaaal! Doggie! Yay! John, if I believed in angels, you’d be one. Finally, some dog equality around this joint.

  67. 67.

    kid bitzer

    wow–i had not noticed the ad.

    it’s beautiful. lily is beautiful. she’s got a lot of poise and inwardness.

    who knows, maybe after she settles in and gets her bearing she’ll turn into a perpetual-motion maniac, like her aunt and uncle ginny and guesly. but that photo looks more like spiritual depth to me.

  70. 70.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    @Cindy:

    I feel you, Dweebe, our chow/german shepard cross had an undercoat so thick it took, forever just to get her wet, let alone shampooed. When she was shedding in the spring the undercoat used to come away in handfulls and the birds in the garden thought it was the best nesting material EVAH. She was out in the back yard once and a chickadee landed on her, pulled out a big piece of undercoat and took off. Of course I didn’t have my camera.

  72. 72.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    ditto on the ditto about the ad, if I were to guess I would say Laura but I am prepared to be proved wrong :)

  73. 73.

    SGEW

    O/T

    Looks like McAuliffe is pretty much done in VA, according to TPM.

    Hope he has a bottle of rum lying around.

  74. 74.

    Ash Can

    POP!

    Cyber-champagne for everyone!

    Congratulations to the Cole household. Here’s wishing the three of you a bazillion happy years together.

    ::clinkclink::

    And Laura W, that ad is awesome!

  75. 75.

    kid bitzer

    laura w, you’re a genius.

    and thoughtful.

    which is an extremely rare combination!

  76. 76.

    JenJen

    O/T, but I just received the most delightful text message, which I shall paste here so that my joy may be shared:

    WASH POST NEWS ALERT: Terry McAuliffe loses in Democratic primary for Virginia governor. AG Bob McDonnell faces state Sen. Creigh Deeds.

    Ha-ha!

    Back on-topic, @Lilbrit: I hope it doesn’t make me a bad person that I also get a big kick out of watching my kitty perch on a footstool, whackin’ the doggies every time they walk by, just because he can.

  81. 81.

    Krista

    Oh, that Lily ad is just the sweetest thing ever.

    My MIL has a Welsh Terrier named Lily, and she’s a fat, happy beastie. I hope that your Lily is just as happy (but not as fat, ’cause seriously, that Welsh has developed the general bodily proportions of an armadillo, and is starting to look ridiculous.)

  82. 82.

    Skepticat

    WEBCAM, WEBCAM!

    Congratulations and good luck, John. I guess we know what we’ll all be focused on for a while, and it ain’t politics.

  83. 83.

    shelley matheis

    On the list of things that will get you into Heaven…

    Giving a home to a shelter dog.

  85. 85.

    JenJen

    Oh, oh, oh! I just had a bit of an emotional moment upon seeing Lily’s ad! LauraW…?

    Sniff. I heart this blog and the wonderful, weird little community we have here.

  86. 86.

    mandarama

    Welcome home, Lily. I know the kitty is intimidating, but you just got a mensch for an owner, so it will all even out!

  88. 88.

    Woody

    cats have a way of swiftly teaching insufficiently attentive dogs their places…especially if the cat is ‘senior critter’

  90. 90.

    Mayken

    Hurray for the new pooch, the old Tunch and for you of course.
    Many happy days of dog parenthood to you!

  91. 91.

    Anne Laurie

    Congratulations, Lily (& John)! Condolences, Tunch — don’t worry, you’ll soon train Lily as effectively as you did Mr. Cole. And LauraW, your ad confirms that you are not only artistically gifted but just a sweet sweet person!

  92. 92.

    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse

    Just got home from a loooong bike ride and I had to check on Lily. She’s here! She’s here! And that ad is just lovely.

    Poor Tunch. He’s got some adjusting to do.

  94. 94.

    Svensker

    Awwwwwww.

    Yippee!

    Pics and stories asap please.

    Love the name Lily — it is exactly right for her.

    And Tunch gets extra skritches on all the best places for just being.

  95. 95.

    coffeegirl

    Wow. First the Bowie referent diary title, now a pseudo Cream homage ….. (Hint: Think Ginger Baker.)

  101. 101.

    The Saff

    Yay! Congrats to all. I couldn’t wait to log on this morning to read about Lily and her new life with John and Tunch. If my cats are any indication, Tunch will be just fine with his new sister. It’s amazing how they can adjust to change even if they don’t realize it.

    Can’t wait to see group pix!

Comments are closed.